Volume 2 Chapter 11

　It is said that listening to the calm sound of a heartbeat helps people relax. The effect does not come from the heartbeat alone, but from its rhythm as well, and apparently, when putting a small child to sleep, gently patting their back in time with the rhythm of a normal heart helps them sleep soundly. Conversely, a disturbed heartbeat unsettles people.

　Hector’s heartbeat right now was anything but calm, and listening to it made me feel as though I might become anxious as well. For the moment, I tried patting Hector’s back at regular intervals as though soothing a child. I thought that if I gave him the rhythm of a normal heartbeat, perhaps he would calm down, but.

「……Cyril-san, you aren’t treating me like a child……are you?」

「No, that was not my intention. This is a rhythm that helps people calm down……was it unpleasant?」

「……You really are acting just like usual……」

　Some of the strength left the arms holding me, so I raised my face. Hector was smiling with a somewhat troubled expression, and the anxiety and fear above his head had grown shorter than before.……Though they were still quite long. Was there anything else I could do?

　I glanced around, searching for somewhere we might calm down, and noticed a stone bench, perhaps intended for people using the well to rest. Sitting would probably be more relaxing than continuing to stand.

「Let us sit over there and rest for a little while. That may help you calm down.」

「……Yeah.」

　Although he nodded, Hector did not release me for quite some time, nor did he move. It would clearly take time for his turbulent heart to settle. After squeezing me tightly once with all his strength, he finally let me slip free of his arms, and I took his hand and led him toward the bench. The moment I took his hand, he gripped mine in return with more strength than I had expected, and it seemed to express just how anxious he felt.

(I want to reassure him somehow……)

　Healing magic has no effect on mental distress. It could be used for wounds, illness, fatigue, poison, and various other physical disorders, but it could not directly heal the heart. If it could, this would have been certain to work……but I still hoped the method I had thought of would have some effect.

「Hector-san, please sit down. Here.」

　Hector silently obeyed and sat, then looked up anxiously at me while I remained standing. He looked, somehow, like a traveler who had lost his way, so helpless that merely seeing him made my chest tighten.

　……No. I had to remain perfectly normal. Otherwise, this would be meaningless. I drew one deep breath and calmed myself. It was all right. My heartbeat was normal.

「……Please excuse me for a moment.」

　I stood in front of Hector and gently drew his head toward me. I positioned him so that his ear rested directly over my heart.

　A normal heartbeat was supposed to be highly effective at helping someone calm down. If he listened to mine for a while, perhaps he would feel at least a little reassured. When he had hugged me earlier with his arms around my head, I had strongly felt as though I were being enveloped, so this position should be effective in that sense as well. Or so I thought.

「I truly am all right, so…………eh?」

　The sight that suddenly entered my vision startled a sound out of me. Every line visible above Hector’s head, while I held him against me, had disappeared. Even the color of love, which had been so long, had vanished completely.

　As I stared at the crown of his golden head, wondering what on earth this meant, lines suddenly shot out before my eyes with tremendous force, and I instinctively jerked my face backward.……I had been so startled that I squeezed my arms tightly around him, and my heart gave a violent leap. Before I could soothe myself, thinking that there was no point if my own heartbeat became disturbed, both my shoulders were seized firmly, and I was pulled away with force.

「Ah……Hector-san?」

　Hector remained bent forward, still gripping my shoulders, so I could not see his expression, but his ears were red, and several predictive lines were also passing straight through me, which was a little frightening.

　Because they had grown so long, the three colors piercing through me were peach, pale yellow, and madder red, the anxiety and fear had vanished completely, so that much was good. I could not tell what had become of the three colors beyond my body, but while peach was one thing, he probably would not have wanted me to see how long the madder-red line had become, so perhaps it was better that I could not tell.

「Wha……rea―Cyr……Nngh……!!」

「……You are not forming words. Are you all right?」

「……N-not……!!」

　Apparently his emotions had become so intense that he could not produce a proper voice, and the only thing he managed to squeeze out was 「not」. At any rate, he seemed energetic again, so I was glad he appeared to be all right.

　Hector remained trembling for a while with his hands on my shoulders, but perhaps he eventually regained enough composure to move, because he slowly released me. Still looking down, he interlaced the fingers of both hands and pressed them to his forehead, taking on a posture almost as though he were offering a prayer. He let out a long breath, apparently trying somehow to release his raging emotions.

　At this rate, it would take him some time to return to normal. For the moment, I sat down beside him as well.

(There are no translucent colors suggesting he is about to become depressed……so he is probably all right now)

　The pale yellow showing surprise had already disappeared, but the peach and madder-red colors stretched far into the darkness of the night, making their lengths impossible to judge. In any case, it looked difficult to rein in a madder-red line so long that I could not even see its end, so I decided to wait until he was able to speak. Normally Hector did not like me seeing that color, but this time he seemed to have no composure left to care about such things.……Apparently I had hugged him the wrong way.

　Whenever Hector hugged me, our difference in height meant that my ear rested against his chest, so I often heard his heartbeat pounding wildly. Listening to that sound made me want to laugh and left me feeling restless and buoyant, but this time I had thought to try the reverse. In other words, I thought that listening to my normal heartbeat would calm him.

　The problem was that I had forgotten the obvious fact that men and women differed in various ways, and that they experienced things differently. I had apparently become so preoccupied with wanting to reassure him that I panicked and lost sight of my surroundings. Thinking about it now, I had failed to show consideration in several respects.

(……I did something wrong)

　As a result, Hector’s heart was currently in a state of complete turmoil. Remembering his reaction and what I had done made me feel slightly embarrassed, so I looked up at the sky to change my mood. It was not quite as bright as during the Star-Moon Festival season, but the stars shone beautifully in the clear sky.

　The area around this well was enclosed by the castle walls, making it feel a little narrow. The night sky would surely look more beautiful from the Pharmacist Tower’s garden. For the next Star-Moon Festival, perhaps we could prepare a meal in the herb garden and enjoy it beneath the light of the night sky. Just as I began thinking such things, Hector, who finally seemed to be recovering, murmured softly while still looking down.

「……For a moment, my mind went completely blank……please never do that to anyone else. I’m begging you……」

　It was a very emotional and honest voice, unusually so for him. He was the sort of person whose true feelings came out more easily when he was tired or lacked composure, so he probably had not yet calmed down enough to put on a front. Perhaps the peach-colored predictive line was rapidly growing and shrinking where I could not see it.

　Still, I understood now. Apparently the reason all the predictive lines had vanished earlier was what people called having one’s mind go blank. I had assumed that when thought stopped, the lines would simply appear motionless, but apparently this could happen as well.

「The only person I would ever want so desperately to comfort is you, so I will not do that to anyone else.……But I am sorry. It seems I was shaken as well.」

「No, you don’t need to apologize……thank you. Thanks to you, the anxiety and everything else got blown away……you really are all right now……aren’t you?」

　Hector raised his head just slightly, and I caught a glimpse of his honey-colored eyes. When our gazes met, I smiled and nodded, saying, 「I am all right」 in order to reassure him, but he immediately lowered his head again. The rose-colored line, which unlike the other two was still within visible range, shot upward, so apparently he had become embarrassed. This time his emotions were turbulent and restless for a reason entirely different from anxiety.

　Still, they were not bad emotions, so it was probably fine. Bright colors rapidly growing and shrinking were more like his usual self, and felt more like Hector.

　Several more minutes passed. Hector finally raised his face, placed his hands on the bench, and looked up at the night sky. His smooth golden hair flowed back and glittered beneath the light of the stars and moon. That color, which looked dazzling beneath the sun, somehow felt mysterious in the faint light of night.

「Haah……I think I’ve finally calmed down.」

　His cheeks and ears were still tinged red, but the orange and the color of love had indeed returned to lengths I could roughly make out, while the madder red had disappeared. I could see no dark emotional colors either, so it truly seemed that he was all right now. Convinced that his anxiety had completely vanished, I felt relieved as well.

「Sorry for losing control earlier. I imagined you disappearing from my life……and if you weren’t here, I’d even forget how to breathe.」

　He was probably referring to when I had been abducted. It felt like a very long time ago that he had told me, 「It hurts when you aren’t here」. That had not changed even now, no, perhaps it had grown stronger than it had been then. Perhaps he needed me more now than before. The color of his love stretched much farther than it used to.

　I gently placed my hand over Hector’s. I sincerely wanted this person to be happy. If I could make that possible, I would spare no effort.

「Did I not tell you that I would protect your heart, Hector-san? So that you can remain happy and smiling……I will stay beside you forever. It is all right. Please be at ease.」

　The redness that had begun fading from Hector’s cheeks returned as he looked down at me. The madder-red and rose-colored lines that had vanished shot upward again, and he abruptly covered his face with his free hand.

「Um, sorry, Cyril-san……right now, I can’t handle you touching me……you can see a bad color, can’t you……?」

　Apparently being touched by me right now caused the madder-red color to grow. I withdrew my hand for the moment, but somehow. I did not know how to put this feeling into words, and the emotion overflowing inside me escaped my mouth as sound.……In the form of laughter.

「……Cyril-san?」

　I covered my mouth, but the laughter would not easily stop. How long had it been since I laughed aloud? Even Hector, who had been unable to look at me, stared in slight surprise when I suddenly began laughing. Even that expression was dear to me. I truly loved this person from the bottom of my heart.

「Hector-san, you truly are so dear and adorable that you make me want to shower you with love.……I love that part of you very much.」

「――!?!?!??」

　Watching Hector let out a voiceless cry made me want to laugh again, so I looked away. Hector would probably be unable to look at me for some time anyway, and he would not be able to calm down while I was watching him.

　And so I waited while gazing at the starry sky for around ten minutes. After releasing an especially long breath, Hector murmured.

「……I feel like I’m going to lose my mind because I love you too much……Cyril-san, you really aren’t doing this on purpose? You aren’t teasing me?」

「I am truly not trying to tease you.……It is simply that you are the only person with whom I can be honest. I am only saying exactly what I feel.」

　Because Hector shared my secret and had promised to live alongside me, I was able to express my feelings exactly as they were. After I began spending time with him and started putting my thoughts into words, I had even realized that I, as a person, unexpectedly 「liked people.」……Before that, I had built walls between myself and everyone else, and had even tried not to remember their names.

　Pouring affection into someone was this happy and comforting. Hector was the one who had taught me that. I would surely be able to continue loving him for the rest of my life.

「……Your words really are completely straightforward. I feel like you’re going to keep making my heart race forever……I wonder if the day will ever come when I get used to it……」

「……Most couples who have been together for many years are generally calm.」

　Rather than calm, I had seen married couples whose color of familial affection stretched long instead of romantic love. They were couples whose gentle love for one another was clearly visible. The color of romantic love was not always present between them, and only stretched occasionally at unexpected moments, but the feeling itself certainly existed. At the very least, my parents and Jean’s group had been like that.

　Though occasionally, I had also seen endearing elderly couples who remained in love even in old age.……Seeing how Hector reacted to the word 「couple」 unable to hide his joy, I had the feeling that the color of his love might never disappear for his entire life.

「Sorry for keeping you waiting. Shall we head back?」

「No, I do not mind.……Before we return, shall we ask someone to prepare a meal?」

　While dining with Kyos, Hector was on guard duty and therefore unable to eat. And since I had left after doing nothing but tasting the food, I had not eaten anything that could properly be called a meal either. Normally, I ate at Kyos’s table, while Hector’s portion was delivered to the Pharmacist Tower. Today, we would need to have food brought for two.

　The servants were still working at this hour, so after speaking to a man near the kitchens and asking him to prepare additional food, the two of us began walking toward the Pharmacist Tower.

　Lights had been lit throughout the castle, so illumination was not a problem near the buildings. However, there were no other buildings around the Pharmacist Tower, so the only light available came from the moon and stars. Outside the period around the Star-Moon Festival, a lamp was necessary.

　The lamp we had brought on the way there had been left with the guard stationed by the entrance, so before leaving the castle, we would normally have him light it and then take it with us, but.

「……It’s unusual for a noble to be walking around at this hour.」

　Just as the door leading out of the castle was about to come into view, Hector said that, and I stopped. When I encountered a noble in the castle, I, as a commoner, was not permitted to look at their face, nor could I obstruct the path they were using.

　I immediately moved to the edge of the corridor, knelt, and lowered my head. Hector, being a knight, stood behind me with a fist against his chest in salute. We should only have needed to remain like that until the noble passed us.

「You there. The one with white hair……I have not seen you around the castle. Raise your face.」

「……Yes.」

　I had never expected to be addressed. I was the only person with white hair, and I could not disobey a noble’s command, so I suppressed my reluctance, lifted my face, and looked up at the owner of the voice.

　Standing there was Kyos, no, someone else who closely resembled him. The dim lighting made me mistake him for Kyos for an instant, but his hair was not black. It was nearly black, yet seemed to be a deep shade of purple, and his eyes were the same color. More importantly, the countless colors of misfortune that surrounded the Kyos I knew were absent.

「Oh, your eyes are red as well. How unusual……which division do you belong to?」

　Those words allowed me to guess who he was. A noble who closely resembled Kyos and had a fondness for unusual things. He was likely Kyos’s younger brother, the second prince, Aegis. The person everyone had been worried I might encounter.

　I could not turn around, so being unable to see the predictive lines of the knight behind me made me somewhat anxious. Was his heart all right?

(Her Highness Princess Sophia’s concern has come true)

　Would I be able to make it through this safely? My throat went dry from tension, but I smiled so that he would not notice.