Volume 2 Chapter 13

　Having grown accustomed to the great length of Hector’s color of love, the still-short, faint prediction line of someone’s feelings of love feels somehow fresh to me. …Well, in other words, I mean Yunan.

　Since I see Sophia every morning, I also see Gray, the woman Yunan, apparently Sophia’s chief guard, is in love with. The gray wariness above her head has grown considerably shorter, and instead of looking at me with her guard openly raised, she now watches me as though trying to determine what sort of person I truly am. That much has changed, but I have never seen a pink line from her. At present, Yunan’s love remains unrequited.

　The earnest Yunan seems to believe that he must not allow himself to become distracted by romance while working, and he is always trying to remain alert, but in unguarded moments, a troubled expression crosses his face. Even now, his gaze is lowered to his feet as though he is lost in thought. Judging by the way the color of love is subtly lengthening and shortening, there can only be one subject on his mind.

「Is something troubling you?」

「Ah… no, it is a personal matter, so please pay it no mind. Was it showing that clearly on my face…? I apologize for losing focus during my guard duties.」

　It was hardly showing on his face at all, but it was appearing in the colors above his head. When I worked as an apothecary, I listened to other people’s romantic troubles almost every day, but seeing someone worrying right in front of me like this makes me want to meddle and take care of him. I was a little surprised to realize that I had that sort of personality. I had disliked being called a fortune-teller, but apparently I had not disliked listening to people’s troubles.

　Still, asking him all manner of questions when he had not come to me for advice would be presumptuous. It should be enough to let him know that, if his worries become too much, he can speak to someone about them.

「If it becomes too much to carry alone, you should consult someone you trust. If you cannot speak to someone close to you, I would not mind listening either.」

「…Come to think of it, I heard that you were once famous as a fortune-teller, Cyril-dono.」

「I was merely called that before I knew it because I listened to other people’s troubles. I was never actually a fortune-teller…」

　Being called a fortune-teller again after so long left me with slightly complicated feelings. I am now employed as a Court Pharmacist, and everyone treats me as one. I also serve as an adviser, so I perform a few duties outside an apothecary’s usual work, such as checking on the crown princess and tasting the crown prince’s food for poison, but since I fundamentally deal with medicine, no one had treated me as a fortune-teller.

「I have resolved not to bring personal feelings into my work. …However, if things ever become truly unbearable… may I ask you for advice outside the hours of your guard duty?」

「Yes, of course. …I’m rooting for you.」

　The look on Yunan’s face seemed to ask whether I had perhaps realized what was going on, and the colors of surprise and embarrassment above his head made him remarkably easy to understand. Since he has such a straightforward personality, his emotions probably show readily on his face as well.

　As I was watching him with fond amusement, Hector returned from training. Despite the pleasant smile on his face, lines of reddish-purple dissatisfaction and pale blue-green stretched above his head. The two men, whose personalities were complete opposites, exchanged guard duty, and I approached Hector with the earring I had been keeping for him.

「What were you talking about with Yunan?」

「It concerns Yunan-san personally, so I cannot tell you the details… but I suppose it was just a little casual conversation. Is something bothering you?」

「It’s rare to see you looking at someone with such gentle eyes.」

　It was true that I wanted to support the earnest and straightforward Yunan in his love. Perhaps it was because I knew him better and felt closer to him than the young women who used to come to my shop seeking fortunes. Come to think of it, there had also been a time when I supported Hector’s love, so perhaps I naturally reacted this way toward people close to me.

　It seemed that seeing me like that had left Hector feeling somewhat unsettled. Pale blue-green is the color of attachment and possessiveness, so he must have become a little jealous. Yet rather than openly growing displeased or taking it out on me, he tries to hide it behind a smile, which is rather adorable.

「Yunan-san has such a straightforward personality that it makes me want to support him in various ways. I am rather meddlesome, after all.」

「Yes, I know. You’re too kind for your own good. …That’s the sort of person I fell in love with.」

　He did not want to restrict my actions because of that, yet he still became jealous. The feelings he did not put into words appeared plainly in his colors.

　Normally, I would step away as soon as I finished putting on his earring, but Hector seemed to be harboring gloomy emotions, so I remained where I was and stared steadily into his honey-colored eyes. From the faint twitch of his eyelids and the short extension of pale yellow, I could tell that his heart had skipped slightly.

「Hector-san.」

「…Um, yes?」

「What sort of eyes do I use when I look at you? You are the one I love. So I believe the way I look at you must be different from the way I look at other people… What do you think?」

　When Hector looks at me, I feel unmistakable warmth within his gaze. I believe that honey color, directed only at me, possesses a special sweetness. Then surely I must also look at Hector with eyes I would never turn upon anyone else.

　Even I, who had lived while trying to avoid becoming involved with people as much as possible, have several people who are dear to me. Among them, Hector, with whom I wish to walk through the rest of my life, is special. I cherish him, want to protect him, want to remain by his side, and want to make him happy.

　What I feel for him is entirely different from what I feel for Yunan. These are emotions I hold for Hector alone. Have I conveyed that clearly enough?

「…I think… they are filled with affection…」

　We held each other’s gaze for several seconds. Just as I thought his ears were beginning to turn red, he immediately covered his face with one hand. Then the two colors of embarrassment and joy shot upward with tremendous force. As the color of love had already grown beyond any visible upper limit, I will omit mention of it, but for the moment, all the emotions I could see were bright ones.

「I’m glad, as long as I’ve conveyed it properly.」

「…Yes… I’m sorry for being so small-minded…」

「I like that part of you, and you may become jealous as much as you like. Each time, I will reassure you that you are the one I love.」

「L-Li… ngh…」

　A sound escaped Hector that I could not quite identify as either a groan or a word. At some point, the other hand that should have been free had also risen to hide his face, so all I could see now were his ears. They seemed even redder than before.

「Cyril-san… you don’t really get jealous, do you…?」

「…No, I suppose not. I can see with my own eyes how much you love me.」

　I know how deeply I am loved. When women with pale blue-green hearts came to consult me at the apothecary, they were all anxious because they did not know how the other person felt. They had seen him walking with another woman and wanted to demand to know who she was, but what if they asked and received an answer they did not want? I cannot remember how many times I heard such worries.

　But it appears that I alone will never have to bear that particular anxiety. Because I can see people’s emotions, and because I know how deeply I am loved. Even if I saw Hector behaving closely with another woman, I would probably sympathize with the strain it caused him, but I doubt I would be driven by anxiety or jealousy.

(But other people cannot see it… so I will make sure to tell him)

　Misunderstandings almost inevitably arise when there are too few words. They are caused by the arrogance of believing that there is no need to speak because the other person already knows and understands. When speaking of an invisible heart, I believe no amount of words can ever be quite enough.

「…I’m well aware that I love you an extraordinary amount, but you can actually see that, can’t you?」

「Well, yes. I have never seen a line this long from anyone except you, Hector-san.」

　I occasionally see people whose color of love extends a long way. Hector was the first person whose heightened emotions I had seen pierce the ceiling, but that might merely be because he is the only person who becomes so overwhelmed in front of me. Others may react similarly elsewhere.

　However, when only one person in a couple possesses an exceptionally long color of love, the relationship tends to collapse easily. The couples who succeed usually possess colors of love of roughly equal length.

「I believe there is a scale of emotions within human relationships.」

「…A scale of emotions?」

　Whether in friendship or love, if one person’s affection is too strong, the other may be unable to bear it. Just as a scale can no longer remain balanced when one side becomes too heavy, a human relationship can also break. I have seen that happen several times.

　While I explained this, Hector lowered the hands that had been hiding his face, allowing me to see his expression again, and a line of anxiety stretched above his head. Had he begun to worry that his own feelings were too great? …Although he was still smiling.

「Maybe I should restrain my feelings a little more…」

「No. You do not need to suppress your heart in front of me.」

　He is someone who has continued to smother his own heart, someone who had no choice but to do so. At the very least, I want him to be able to remain beside me while feeling exactly as he truly does.

　I took Hector’s hand and gently held it, entwining our fingers. Knights are required to wear gloves with their uniforms, so all I could feel was the faint warmth passing through the fabric. …Though even that faint warmth appeared to be enough to unsettle him.

「Sh-Cyril-san…?」

「I cannot see my own emotions… but I suppose I must care for you just as deeply as you care for me. I think of you fondly every day, but I have never once felt burdened by your feelings.」

　The scales of our emotions are balanced. Since I do not consider Hector’s enormous feelings too heavy, I am probably much the same as he is. To me, he is utterly irreplaceable. I wanted him to understand that he was the same to me as I was to him.

「Please don’t worry. I am the same as you. From the bottom of my heart, I love the person you are.」

　Still holding his hand, I drew it toward me and pressed my cheek snugly against the back of it. I felt a little disappointed by the stiff sensation of the glove against my skin. It cannot be helped because of his uniform, but being unable to touch him directly when I wish to feels somehow frustrating.

「If you were barehanded, I could feel your body heat, Hector-san. It’s a little disappointing. …Hector-san?」

「……………………J-Just… wait…!」

　Hector tilted his face toward the heavens while covering it as though gripping it with the hand I was not holding. Because of that posture, even his now clearly visible neck had turned red. When we are alone, rather than putting on a mask over his expression, he physically hides his face, but his reactions are always so exaggerated, so amusingly large, that I cannot help beginning to enjoy myself, and that is not good.

(…I’m not doing it deliberately, but seeing him react makes me even less inclined to restrain myself)

　Most likely, the majority of people feel embarrassed or hesitant about conveying affection to the person they love. I remember being asked whether it was all right to rely upon him, or how one should communicate one’s feelings. Having watched those women prepare gifts, write letters, and devise all sorts of methods, I had assumed that displaying affection was a difficult thing.

　Perhaps because I can see that it makes him happy, I feel no hesitation in telling this man that I love him. I believe there is no need to hold myself back, and Hector’s reactions make me feel even more strongly that I may express myself honestly. …I understand that this causes an extraordinary storm within his heart, but as long as he is happy, surely there is no harm.

「…I’m glad I was wearing gloves. If my hand had been bare, my heart probably would’ve burst by now… Seriously, I mean, how should I put this… Why aren’t we married yet…?」

「Because the preparations are not finished.」

「That’s right… Please marry me.」

　Several minutes had passed since he asked me to wait, but apparently his thoughts had still not settled. I found it amusing to wonder how many times he would propose like this before Sophia’s child was born and I had enough time available. I do not regard this as a joke but as an expression of his desire to marry me as soon as possible, so it leaves me feeling pleasantly ticklish.

「I will once the preparations are complete. …I’m looking forward to it as well.」

　Although we live inside the same building, we sleep and wake in separate rooms, each with its own locked door. To my mind, it is not very different from taking two rooms at an inn and resting separately.

　Sometimes I think that it would be happiness itself if, when I opened my eyes in the morning, the first person I saw was the one I loved. That is why I, too, eagerly await that day.

「Mm? …We have a visitor.」

　A bell used to summon someone is attached to the front door of the Pharmacist Tower. However, servants exchange goods outside without entering the building, while the knights serving as guards normally enter through the back door. There should be no visitors coming here, and I had assumed the bell at the front entrance would never be used. …Why, then, did I feel as though my stomach was being compressed alongside an ominous premonition?

「Ah, then we should go.」

「…Yes.」

　Although the redness had not entirely faded from Hector’s ears and face beneath his usual smile, we could not leave a visitor waiting. Moreover, I somehow felt that this was someone we especially must not keep waiting.

　I hurried toward the door, called, 「I apologize for keeping you waiting,」 and opened it. As expected, or rather, although I had suspected it, the crown prince stood there with an amused expression on his black-haired, black-eyed face, and I felt as though my stomach gave a tiny, tight cry.

「I found some free time, so I have come to hear what you wished to say. …Ah, stop. Do not kneel. More importantly, brew me some of that sweet tea you served Sophia.」

　Several things were occurring that would likely be unthinkable by aristocratic standards, but when I attempted to kneel because I believed I should at least offer a proper greeting, I was stopped. The visitor strode toward the table himself and sat down in a chair. I stood there dumbfounded, but Hector merely smiled as though this could not be helped, while Dolton, who had accompanied the prince as his guard, firmly closed his eyes as a long color of exhaustion stretched above his head. …Perhaps I should offer him some stomach medicine later.

　I immediately prepared the same sweet tea I had presented to Sophia and offered it to Kyos. He nodded with satisfaction, then turned his gaze toward Dolton.

「Dolton, stand outside for a while and guard the door so that no one enters.」

「Sir!?」

「Good, an excellent response. I shall leave the interior protection to Hector. Now, go quickly.」

　I remembered escorting the two of them to the apothecary and thought that I had once witnessed an exchange like this before. Even a rising, questioning 「Sir?」 becomes an affirmative response in front of Kyos.

　I watched Dolton reluctantly leave through the door while extending the colors of exhaustion and pain, and resolved to give him stomach medicine that was guaranteed to work extremely well. His serious and rigid personality was likely ill-suited to serving as Kyos’s guard. …All the knights I know in the royal castle are serious and rigid, so perhaps Hector, who had managed to accompany Kyos, was the unusual one.

「Now then… what is it that you wished to tell me alone?」

　Facing the prince, who extended long lines of yellow-green interest and yellow amusement, I swallowed my tension and smiled.