14 — To Be a Leader

14 — To Be a Leader

The events leading to the knights’ desperate need of Luciel took place before he had even conquered the labyrinth. One day prior, Catherine had requested Lionel, Ketty, and Kefin’s presence at another training session with the Knights of Shurule. None of them had even had the slightest interest in the offer, but out of consideration for their leader’s position, and in the name of not wasting the day sitting around, they accepted.

Now, if only the knights had trained as they were supposed to. But as misfortune would have it, Lionel found several individuals shooting the breeze with each other while the others trained. Although Catherine and a portion of particularly motivated knights were intently focused on their sparring matches, these exceptions reflected poorly on their ranks as a whole. Lionel and Ketty were former military, Kefin had grown up fighting for his life in the slums, and they had all seen the lengths Luciel consistently went to for the good of Shurule. Compared to that, these slackers were downright insulting.

The next day, Catherine requested their attendance once more, but Lionel countered her this time.

“What are your conditions?” she asked.

“I want to cure your knights’ overabundance of free time. The Illumasian way.”

Catherine had braced herself for the worst, but after a moment of surprise, she accepted. Anything to make them stronger.

“And one other thing,” he continued. “Your unit is being dragged down by a few unmotivated individuals. What actions are you taking to rectify this?”

“I’m ashamed to admit it, really. You see, I still don’t have the full confidence of all of my subordinates.”

“I see.”

Lionel suspected that she was being pressured. Or perhaps she simply lacked the resolve necessary to lead. In either case, he decided it was time to test that resolve as well as filter out the bad eggs within the ranks of the Knights.

I ought to steel myself as well, he thought, for whatever might come and what that might spell for my master.

The next day, the Knights were gathered on the largest of the training fields.

“We will be conducting a series of sparring matches today,” Lionel told them. “Illumasian style. Face the individual next to you. Good. Now fight like your life depends on it. Anything goes, save for strikes to the vitals. When your opponent is defeated, proceed to the next one down the line.”

The knights started to stir, and Catherine looked flustered.

“What...” She faltered. Lionel’s eyes were sharp, his presence strikingly menacing. “But what purpose does that serve?”

“What purpose?” he echoed. “To turn this sorry band of layabouts into something resembling an actual military. The Illumasian way. This is Church Headquarters, so I should think you’d have no shortage of emergency responders. But let me tell you something, Captain. I’m through play-fighting with your wooden swords and shields, and if you disagree with my methods then you’ll have to stop me first. Everyone! Begin!”

Nobody moved. The knights simply stood there, bemused. But Ketty and Kefin knew the drill, and they attacked at once. Caught off guard, their opponents were incapacitated immediately, and the pair then moved straight to the next opponents in line. Lionel drew his sword, his real sword, and gestured for Catherine to do the same before engaging her in combat.

They clashed, the metal in their weapons crying out. Lionel’s face was expressionless.

“What are you doing?!” Catherine cried.

“That question again?” he replied. “I should be asking you. What meaning is there in this half-hearted training you do?”

“Meaning? I—”

“Call it a legion or call it a military. There is no difference between a knight and a foot soldier. A unit can not exist without unity!”

Catherine grimaced.

“Why do you continue to hesitate?!” Lionel demanded. “While you dither, all you love will be lost! Enough!”

Lionel delivered a sure and mighty blow, launching Catherine through the air. Lumina, watching from a distance, quickly placed herself between the two, sword flashing. Lionel caught her blow.

“Not bad,” he said. “Well? My ears are open.”

“Does Luciel know about this?” Lumina demanded.

Lionel had nothing against her. In fact, he respected her. That was why he had elected to hear her out in the first place, but he had done so expecting something more worth his time.

He sighed. “You should concern yourself less with my master and focus more on your own.”

Lumina’s breath caught in her throat, and with even greater speed than before, Lionel knocked her away in the exact same fashion as Catherine. He then turned and addressed the knights.

“Those so petrified of a wound that they cannot fight! I speak to you! Throw your sword away, leave this place, and never come back! Leave your blade for another with the will to protect, which you so sorely lack! Those with the will, come at me!”

The battles to follow leaned one-sidedly towards Lionel, Ketty, and Kefin. Paladins and templars alike fell to them, until one paladin could take it no more.

“The Knights of Shurule don’t fight like this. All these petty tricks. We fight with honor! Isn’t that right?”

His brothers-in-arms spoke up in agreement, citing chivalry and codes. Dissent filled the air.

After a moment of silence, Lionel replied, “Is that all? Are you satisfied, having delayed your training for a second longer? I ask you again, what is it you think you can protect? You? A spoiled band of knights who’ve never seen a single battlefield in their lives. And you talk of fighting with honor? If that’s what you want, then so be it!”

At that moment, something seemed to emanate from his very being: a powerful, palpable, invisible aura. They could all feel it. Several paladins’ knees buckled, including the dissenters.

“Wh-What point is there in going up against someone like you? Mister Luciel would never—”

The paladin took a hard hit and let out a guttural, pained groan.

“I will hear no excuses,” Lionel stated. “You speak of my master, but what do you know of the dangers and pain he’s experienced? The monsters and enemies he’s faced for the sake of those he holds dear? Nothing. You insult him by invoking his name when you lack the drive to improve, all the while robbing the opportunity from others. Will still no one fight?”

“W-W-Well, you’ve got to teach us,” a knight stammered.

“Y-Yeah! The captains should show us. You can’t expect us to know how this works straight away.”

“What they said!”

“Ah, your captain,” Lionel said. The sorry state of the Knights dredged up foul memories. Memories of puffed-up Illumasian nobles who strutted about the barracks with their shiny badges and ranks, then quickly realized there was no glory to be found in the military before politicking their way out. He very nearly thought to teach them the same lesson himself until he saw Catherine picking herself up off the ground. “Impressive,” he said. “I hardly imagined you’d still be conscious.”

“I’m...” She groaned between heavy breaths. “I’m not...going down...that easily.”

“Good,” he said. “Show me your resolve.”

He set upon her at once but found himself blocked when the knights suddenly hurried to protect her. So, she did have their respect after all, he realized.

He made ready to take them on all at once. He would not hold back. This fight would be real, and it would instill a drive in these soldiers. A drive to be stronger. And their growth would one day serve his master well.

Meanwhile, Ketty and Kefin engaged in a battle of their own against those bad eggs who had been summarily filtered out.

＊

I was brought up to date on the situation as we ran to the training grounds. Apparently, Lionel had picked a fight with the Knights. On the way, I considered how to handle the situation. What would Catherine do? Any healer would heal a friend who needed it, but what if the choice was between them and someone important? Who would I heal first? Which side would I take? My allies in the Knights or my companions, the “important people”? I probably wouldn’t be able to decide. I’d want to leave the choice for Catherine to make, but I couldn’t do that. I had to prepare myself.

When we arrived, I saw a field of casualties, and all of them were knights. Lionel and the others were heavily injured but still standing or at least kneeling.

“They’re safe,” I muttered, relieved.

I approached Lionel and found Catherine on the ground before him. Lumina lay in front of Ketty and Kefin. The sight very nearly made me go faint, but upon closer inspection, my team was clearly worse off than the others.

“Lionel,” I finally called out, “I expect a full explanation for this later.”

He turned around, relief washing over him upon seeing me. “I’m glad you’ve returned, sir. Please see to the others first. I will accept full responsibility once they are safe.”

He didn’t need to tell me twice—Catherine and Lumina were absolutely covered in blood. But he, Ketty, and Kefin were just as bad, if not worse. They seemed close to losing consciousness.

“Everyone gather around,” I said. “I’ll use Area High Heal. Will that be enough, Lionel? Or are there worse injuries?”

“Catherine...” he panted. “She has several fractures.”

High Heal would be sufficient, in that case. I couldn’t believe he was so winded. It must have been the equipment he had been using (their usual weapons were in my bag), or else he had been overrun. There was no other explanation, considering how much of a disadvantage Catherine was at when it came to Lionel’s fighting style.

“I’ll use Extra Heal on her just in case. But I’m more worried about all of you.”

Ketty and Kefin were silent, barely managing to stay on their feet. I cast Area High Heal, then Extra Heal on those who seemed to need it.

“I’ve heard the gist of things,” I said. “I want details later, but first everyone needs to get some rest. You’ve all lost too much blood. I’m going to go help the other healers with the knights who can’t get up. Was anyone dismembered?”

“I do not recall having needed to do that,” Lionel said.

“We weren’t that mean,” added Ketty.

“No one put up enough of a fight that we needed to go lopping off anyone’s limbs,” Kefin explained.

They were awfully calm about having nearly wiped out the Knights of Shurule. But it couldn’t have been that malicious. When I had observed the knights for the first time, I had at least felt some semblance of motivation from them, but that was when I was there. And Lionel’s presence had still been new and exciting.

Extra Heal could regenerate lost blood, but I had a bad feeling about having my team wandering around right now, so I had them continue to rest. I could sense a strong aura of contempt coming from them, which was directed at the knights, their eyes filled with a disdain that not even I had experienced before. They had never been this harsh with the Order of Healing. Were the Knights that pitiful? Was their training just offensively, pointlessly easygoing? Had they egged my team on while my back was turned?

Nearly half of the knights had been launched all the way to the outer wall, including some of the Valkyries, the very strongest that Shurule had to offer. None of the girls were heavily injured, but seeing them on the ground, defeated, was sobering.

Was this weakness the source of my team’s scorn? It couldn’t be. If weakness offended them, then I—or the Order, for that matter—would have earned their ire long ago. The only logical conclusion I could reach was that the knights, blessed with powerful classes, had lost their nerve and decided to rest on their laurels.

Regardless, as their leader, I needed to be ready to deal with the consequences of the trio’s actions. I continued to heal the knights, but without much help. Although there were a few other healers present, most of them were pale and suffering from magical exhaustion.

Once everyone was healed, I asked for the specifics of what had transpired, and although they thanked me for my help, no one dared speak a word. I returned to the center of the field, where Estia was talking with the others.

“Figuring out what happened?” I asked her.

“Yes, sir,” she replied. “And letting them know that I’ll be joining you all on your trip to Merratoni.”

“Good. Everyone, Estia’s officially part of the group from now on.”

“She’ll surely prove more useful than any of the knights here,” Lionel said.

“She’s a strong kitty,” Ketty commented. “Bet she actually knows how to train too.”

“There’s no way she’s stronger than me,” Kefin added, “but she definitely has better judgment on the battlefield.”

Those compliments were pretty backhanded. Towards the Knights in particular. It wasn’t like them to get this upset.

“Not stronger than you, huh? Wanna test that?” Ketty challenged him.

“One more word. I dare you,” he shot back.

“Or what?”

I ignored their bickering.

“You’ll find out one of these days,” Kefin warned her.

“Ohhh, scary,” Ketty teased him back.

I was glad that the two had grown so close since leaving Yenice, but there were more important matters than enjoying the show. I turned to Catherine and Lumina, who had been healed but were still incapacitated. They had regained their senses a short while ago.

“I apologize for my subordinates,” I told them. “I have no idea how this got so out of hand, but I’m very sorry that it did.”

“Did you order them to do this?” Lumina asked.

I wasn’t sure what she was getting at, but then I remembered something. “Her Holiness sent me on a mission. So I told them to join you for training while I was gone and to whip the knights into shape if they thought it necessary. I suppose that last part might have had something to do with it.”

“That explains it.” She turned away and fell silent.

Lionel and the others said nothing, waiting quietly for my instructions. When taken in the context of my own orders, it became evident that Lionel had done exactly that. But he wouldn’t have done so without a reason.

“Whatever my team did to the Knights was a direct result of my own words. These guys don’t act for their own gain. This is my responsibility.”

“Luciel,” Catherine finally murmured, “are my knights weak?”

She sounded pleading. So I decided to be blunt. “Here’s what I’ll tell you,” I said. “The drills I observed the other day? I was honestly surprised by how much they improved in only two years with you as their captain. But I have to judge them based on actual threats, on the things I experienced during my time away. And if the empire invaded today, I don’t think they’d stand a chance.”

I was surprised by the harshness of my words. And it seems I had surprised Lumina and Catherine as well, going by their expressions. They were looking downcast. Perhaps it was their first time hearing the truth, or perhaps I had only confirmed what they already knew.

“What if...” Catherine began to put the unthinkable into words. “Luciel, what if you led the Knights instead?”

It seemed I had finally broken what little pride she had left as captain of the guard. Lumina’s jaw dropped, and she stared at the despondent captain with wide eyes. If I didn’t put a stop to this right now, the Knights of Shurule would suffer horribly for it. And yet, as shaken as Catherine surely was, her words were something I never wanted to hear, not even in my worst nightmares. The undead men from the labyrinth flashed through my mind.

“Catherine. What made you want to become a knight?” I asked.

She said nothing.

“I know what you’re thinking,” I continued. “I’m an S-rank healer, and even if my achievements were all products of luck and circumstance, they’re still something to be proud of. Heck, maybe I even look like I know what I’m doing sometimes. So that makes me perfect for the job, is that it?”

Catherine remained silent. Lumina observed her closely, looking for any change in her expression. I knew Catherine hadn’t really meant what she said; she couldn’t have.

“If that’s what you think, then great. We can make this quick, and you can retire,” I told her. “You can throw it all away, and your legacy will be a spoiled, whining bunch of soldiers. I’ll do better. I’ll start from scratch, go find a bunch of determined warriors, fund the whole thing, and call it a day. Wouldn’t that be great?” I felt sharp and disdainful gazes prodding me from all around. I raised my voice and addressed them. “What? Am I wrong? Speak up, then, if you have something to say.”

No one spoke. Of course they didn’t. The Knights of Shurule were meant to be protectors, not aggressors.

“Captain Catherine, look around you,” I went on. “These are the Knights of Shurule. A bunch of selfish, privileged, and entitled children who think the world owes them everything, just as it owed them the great classes they were blessed with.”

“I don’t—”

“Listen to me. I don’t want to lead these people. Who would, when they don’t even want to be led?”

“That’s not true,” she argued.

“Catherine, you yourself just tried to give up.”

“I-I wasn’t...”

I knew that I was exaggerating, of course. But I had to get her to realize something. I needed her to stand up for herself here and now or the Knights were through.

“I’m sorry for pushing you like this. But you know you’re the only one for the job. No one else has your presence, your ability to lead according to each and every individual’s strengths and weaknesses, your understanding of what it takes to lead a unit. No one is as respected or as honorable as you. No one has your resolve.”

“If only that were true,” she berated herself.

“I know you struggle with cohesion and making the Knights feel like a team, but not even Lumina is perfect. Nor are any of the other seven regiment captains, for that matter.”

“But even Lumina would make a fine guard captain,” she protested.

True, Lumina was indeed the stronger of the two, and she had a much firmer hold on her regiment—yet another element that fed into Catherine’s drastic loss in confidence.

“You’re right,” I said. “Lumina is without question the strongest person in the legion, and the Valkyries are the best regiment you have.”

“Exactly.”

“But that’s why she can’t be captain of the guard. She’s young, inexperienced. She would rely too heavily on her own team and neglect the others.” No response. “What was the point of being reinstated if you’re just going to quit now? What about all the trust Her Holiness has placed in you?” More than anything, I had to get her to regain her confidence.

“Trust?”

“If I were to become captain of the guard, there would be daily Substance X, grueling training sessions, and mandatory field exercises with monsters. I’d scare everyone away in the first week.”

Catherine’s expression softened at my joke. “You’ve got me there. I’m sorry.”

I had learned something during my time in Yenice, and I figured it would do her good if I shared it.

“You know something,” I said, “I don’t think greatness or strength has anything to do with being a good leader. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be one.”

She frowned, but only for a moment. “That goes for me too, doesn’t it?”

“I may not exactly be seasoned, but I do have some experience to speak from. All the stories you hear about my successes barely scratch the surface. You don’t hear about the struggles or about the people who helped me along the way. My powerlessness still eats at me if I let it. I wish I could be the Lord Reinstar everyone expects me to be, but I’m not. I never will be.”

Be it in Shurule or Yenice, the Holy City or Merratoni, I was never alone. There was always someone better than me, and I had to rely on them. But that didn’t make me a lesser person. I never ran from my rank or responsibilities because of it.

“I’m not going to force you to continue doing something you don’t want to do,” I continued. “It’s your right to quit if that’s what you really want. But just know that without you, things would fall apart. Corruption will creep back into the regiments. I can say that with absolute certainty.”

She frowned. I understood why. I understood what she was going through. Back when the honeyworks had been exposed in Yenice, and even with the school, I had been so focused on the results. It didn’t need to be me leading any of it. What mattered was that it was getting done.

But I remembered what the vespian prince, Honeur, had once talked to me about. It was because it was me, because I had been at the helm, that people were drawn to me. It couldn’t be just anybody. And really, wasn’t that what being a good leader was all about?

Catherine was in that same rut. And I owed her and Lumina, my friends, too much to let them continue to suffer in it.

“I don’t want you to give up,” I said. “I don’t want you to even joke about it.” She furrowed her brow in thought, her mind still a mess. “Also, for the record, whether or not you think you have charisma, never forget that we respect you. In case you didn’t notice, you’re popular enough to turn an entire joint bout in your favor.”

“What?” she asked.

“Come on, you know Lumina should have won during the drills. But she didn’t. The templars did. The templars you led.”

“I’m really not following you.”

“The Knights didn’t want to see you lose, Catherine. They wouldn’t let you.”

“What? Why? Lumina, what is he talking about?”

Lumina flinched. “Er...”

Maybe it was a little cruel of me to let the proverbial cat out of the bag, but I couldn’t believe Catherine really hadn’t noticed. She was usually so observant.

Lumina took a deep breath, then said, “The Knights of Shurule are stronger as one than the sum of its parts. They are a shield, not a sword. That’s what you taught me when I first enlisted, Lady Catherine. I act not for myself, but for the whole.”

“So did you hold back or not?” Catherine asked. “Did you let me win?”

“I think what she means to say is you’re the glue that holds the Knights together,” I told her.

She scoffed. “Well, some leader I am. I need my subordinates to throw matches for the sake of keeping the whole guard from falling apart, because evidently, I can’t do it myself.” She sighed and slumped her shoulders. She really wasn’t taking this how she was supposed to. It felt bad to admit it, but I was losing my patience a little.

“Lady Catherine,” Lumina said as I pondered the situation. “Do you remember the knights who joined Luciel’s Order of Healing?”

“Of course.”

“Do you think it was Luciel’s strength or charisma that drew them to his cause? I do not. I think it was what he stood for. His aspirations. They wanted to save lives, just as he did. The Knights of Shurule are much the same.”

“Exactly,” I agreed. “You’re what holds everything together. It’s not about some title or position. It’s about the person behind it. And I’m sure every knight here would agree with me.”

Catherine looked thoughtful. “The person behind it.”

“All the job really entails is being able to converse with the eight regiment captains, right? Talk and keep them in line. That’s what the position is really about.”

In Yenice, most of my communication had been with others in the upper echelons of their bureaucracy. My talks with anyone else had been simple and courteous but nothing more. And yet, the operation hadn’t been an utter disaster. Why? Because I had communicated clearly and regularly with the people below me, who had then done the same to those below them.

“Precisely,” Lionel said, finally speaking up. “It’s how an organization functions. From leader to sub-leaders to the most basic constituents of the unit. It is not your duty to go out of your way to disrupt the chain. However, every organization has its weeds, those who will go against your authority. Much like those I discovered myself who sow apathy within your group with their own lethargy.”

Lionel had deduced far more than me, as usual. I couldn’t help but think his words were meant for me as much as they were for Catherine.

“I don’t think there’s any need for you to be on the ground during these joint drills,” I said. “As captain, I think you should be watching from above, figuratively speaking, and attempting to rectify problems that catch your eye, not worrying yourself about every little thing you can do to help every single knight.”

“You mean I’ve been overburdening myself,” Catherine replied.

“Yes. There are very few jobs that the pope places so much of her trust in, so you owe it to her to do it right. Maybe not every single knight is going to like you, but they’re not worth more of your attention than the people who appreciate you.”

“You think too much,” Lionel said. “Open yourself to others. Rely on them. That is how you create firm relationships.”

It seemed I had successfully averted a future as the captain of the Knights of Shurule. Had I added that nightmare to my list of anxieties, it would have been the death of me. Plus, the whole reason I had run away from Yenice was to get away from all the bloodshed and fighting. A bit of peace and quiet would have been nice.

“It sounds like I have some thinking to do about how I’ve been running things,” Catherine murmured. “Lumina, I’m sorry for causing this mess, but I hope you’ll still stand with me.”

Lumina saluted. “Forever and always.”

They smiled at each other. All’s well that ends well. Catherine had been carrying an immense burden all on her own. She had stepped down from her position once before, and that combined with her overactive thoughts must have put her in a really bad place. But at least the guard still had its captain.

“We need to hold a forum with all of the knights,” Catherine thought aloud. “I’ll need to rethink how we hold our joint exercises. Thank you, everyone.”

“I’m glad we could help,” I said. “I should apologize for talking down to you. As for the joint exercises, take my impressions with a grain of salt.”

“Don’t be sorry. I’m grateful for your opinion.”

“Long story short, be more confident in yourself.”

She gave me a smile, at last unclouded. “Thank you, Luciel.”

I still needed to hear just what in the world Lionel had done to spark all this when we had a chance. But before my thoughts went any further, Catherine approached me with a warm grin and planted a kiss on my cheek.

I calmly returned her smile with my own. “Don’t mention it.”

Little did she know, I had just recently had some Substance X. I was utterly unaffected. Had the circumstances been different, however, I would have been very much affected.

“Playing tough, hm?”

“More than playing,” I joked. “I am happy, though. I think anyone would be to get a kiss from someone as beautiful as you.” I had just turned forty in my previous life. What forty-year-old got flustered by a little peck on the cheek? Not this one.

“Oh, Lumina?” Catherine called. “Come here, would you?”

“Yes, ma’am?” Lumina replied.

“Would you please give our dear Luciel a thank-you kiss for me? He’s not being any fun.”

Wait, why Lumina? Also, I was at least ninety-percent sure that constituted sexual harassment by a superior.

“You can’t just order someone to ki—”

“She didn’t need to.” Her cheeks were flushed. “I’ve been meaning to thank you as well.”

Something sweet tickled my nose, and something soft lingered on my lips. My heart beat with an intensity I had never felt in my life. If this was what they called “honey trapping,” then suddenly I understood this world’s fascination with the stuff. I might have been over forty mentally, but physically I was in my twenties. I felt like I was going to explode.

“Yes, well. You too.” I shot my head down in an awkward bow. “Thank you. For the kiss, I mean.”

This was my downfall. There was an entire legion of knights present to witness my display, and my act would become the subject of laughter among them for days to come. Even the Valkyries would join in on the teasing. And my team would simply leave me to die.

＊

Catherine watched Luciel succumb to his fate as the new target of their bullying, and she thought back on her own actions. On the things she had done since being reinstated as captain of the guard.

To her, the Knights of Shurule were a shield, the best the nation had to offer, ready to give their lives to defend their country. It was in order to live up to those expectations that she had so single-mindedly striven to become stronger, and her efforts had been rewarded. Catherine had become the strongest and earned her place as captain of the guard.

But physical strength was not all it took to be a leader. Crushed by that realization, she had given up her duty, and yet she eventually returned. Everything changed with the Valkyries. Specifically, her de facto pupil, Lumina, usurping Catherine’s title as the strongest and becoming a regiment captain.

There were many who didn’t like Lumina’s rise to prominence, and she became subject to abuse, indirect or otherwise. Catherine saw her burdened with unbecoming busywork, hammered down like the protruding nail she was, and she saw herself in her.

Then Luciel came along. Suddenly, everyone was too busy trying to subvert him, and all the while he was none the wiser, always too deep in the labyrinth to even notice. And then he started joining the Valkyries’ training sessions, and it spurred others, who couldn’t stand to see a healer outdo them, to action. But when he finally vanquished the labyrinth and became an S-rank, Catherine could see the knights’ motivation drain before her eyes. That was what had inspired her to return to her duties. To endeavor to return the Knights of Shurule to the glory of her younger days. However, this time her efforts were for naught.

Meanwhile, Luciel was making waves in Yenice.

So Catherine held talks with the regiment captains, desperate to find a way to turn things around. But the fissures only deepened when the primary source of feedback she received came from Lumina alone.

Now, she realized where she had gone wrong. She had spent too much time comparing herself to Luciel and not enough time relying on her subordinates. The next day, Catherine gathered the Knights, lowered her head, and offered her deepest apologies for her behavior. She also made a request: assistance. She asked for their support in truly becoming Shurule’s shield—a force of elites to be proud of.

From that day on, everything started to change again.