04 — Crossed Wires

04 — Crossed Wires

The moment I emerged from the labyrinth, I was hit with a face full of Purification. “What are you doing? Are you messing with me?” I blinked at the sudden flash of light.

“Good to see you’re alive. You were down there for half the day, so I was starting to think you’d been zombified.”

I couldn’t tell if Jord was pulling my leg or just an airhead. I had reached the conclusion that the labyrinth was, without a doubt, nothing more than an advanced training facility. If my level had gone up as I killed the monsters, I would have considered death to be a real possibility, but after beating all those enemies and still nothing? I was convinced that I wasn’t in any real danger.

I placed my hand gently on Jord’s shoulder.

“What? Why’re you staring at me like you’ve suddenly got the whole freakin’ universe figured out?!” he shouted.

“Wow, you read my mind. Are you an esper?”

“Uh, what’s an ‘esper’?”

Hm, I guess that isn’t a word in this world. Noted.

I cleared my throat. “I mean, I trained a lot at an Adventurer’s Guild, so I know how dangerous (real) monsters are.”

“Oh, yeah, I did see a report about that. You’re pretty weird, you know that?”

He could say that to me with a straight face? Yeah, he was an airhead.

“Another thing I know is that pride gets you nowhere. You only have one life.”

“Still, this was your first time in a labyrinth, right? Sure, they’re just (real) zombies, but you must’ve had your hands full.”

“They weren’t too tough. It was nice and bright, so I didn’t need a hand for a torch either.”

“Well, look at you. You must be pretty tough. I barely hung in there (to the second floor) my first three months.”

“I’d say I’m decent enough at fighting. I’ll be all right. I plan to start pacing myself from now on (past the third floor).”

“Good goin’, new guy.”

“Oh, also, these (probably illusion-making) stones. Where do I take them, the Adventurer’s Guild?”

“Nope, to the shop just over there.”

“Right, you did say that earlier. I guess the Adventurer’s Guild wouldn’t be a good idea (since they probably wouldn’t buy rocks and this training ground is supposed to be a secret).” I looked over at the shop’s counter.

“Yep, you got it. (Can’t have it getting out that the Healer’s Guild HQ has a labyrinth below it, after all.) I’m glad you’re quick on the uptake.”

“So, I exchange these stones for points over there?”

“Oh, Jord.” At the counter was a young woman who hadn’t been there this morning. “Is the rookie safe?”

“A-okay.”

“Thank you for worrying about me, but I’m just fine. I’m used to this kind of thing (from horror movies and video games).”

“Impressive,” she replied with a grin that warmed my heart. “You can turn in your stones for the day over here.”

And the warmth was gone as fast as it had come. It’s her job to be polite, Luciel; get it together.

“Sure, they’re all in here.”

I hoisted my bag onto the counter with a heavy thunk. Jord and the woman stared in disbelief. The knapsack that Granhart had given me was special in that it had been meticulously crafted for the sole purpose of carrying these stones, allowing the wearer to remain unburdened by the weight.

“Sorry, there are a lot. Can I turn them all in at once?”

“Sure, but wow, that’s more than ‘a lot’!” the woman exclaimed. “Don’t push yourself too hard, okay? Your life is precious.”

“Very true. I’ll remember that.”

“Can I see your card?”

“Card? Um, my guild card?”

“The one Gran gave you earlier today,” Jord clarified, recovering from his disbelief.

“Ah, right.” I handed it over.

“All together, that’s 4,216 points. Quite the achievement for your first day. It’s been ages since I’ve seen someone make that much in one go. Now, before you leave, will you be buying anything?”

“I’m not sure. I don’t know how much any of these items cost.” Price tags would have been nice...

“Everything here’s in your price range. The most expensive items we have are the grimoires. The most advanced one goes for a million points.”

“That’s going to take some saving,” I laughed. All of this was exactly like a game. I had to wonder if the pope who set it all up had been reincarnated like me, but no, there was no way.

“We also have potions and magic items to help mitigate status debuffs.”

“Hmm, and what are those weapons over there?”

“Those were all handmade by dwarves out of silver and holy silver. They’re effective against the undead.”

I had lots of experience with beastpeople but had yet to see any elves or dwarves. “Wow, how much are they?”

“Two thousand, five hundred for one.”

“What?! Why are they so cheap? You can’t be making a profit off that.”

“The only people allowed down here are exorcist healers and not many of them can even hold a sword right. The Church keeps us from reselling them, but no one here actually wants them.”

Monsieur Luck was back in action. “That still seems absurdly cheap. How can no one at all want them?”

“Healers can’t cast their spells while swinging a weapon around, can they?” Um, but I can? “Zombies may be weak, but you’ll still wind up monster food if they surround you.”

Wait, Brod had told me that everyone could cast and wield a weapon simultaneously. I wasn’t sure how that made me feel, but it certainly worked out in my favor, so...all’s well that ends well, I guess?

“That does sound like a problem. Do you have a lot in stock?”

“More than we know what to do with. I hear they used to be sold for two hundred thousand each, but now they’re just sitting around in storage.”

Monsieur Luck, I could kiss you. “In that case, I’ll be back to pick up a sword and spear tomorrow,” I declared without hesitation.

“They certainly weren’t kidding when they said the new guy was an odd one.” She hummed in thought. “This is your first time, so I think I’ll do you a favor and make it four thousand points total if you promise to stay alive.”

I was practically on cloud nine. The fact that she was around the age I had been when I’d died only added to my joy. “I’ll bring back even more stones tomorrow. I’m Luciel; it’s a pleasure to meet you and I look forward to working with you.”

“The pleasure’s mine, Luciel. I’m Cattleya. Oh, and Jord, you did great work down there.”

“Er, yeah, thanks,” he replied. Was it just me, or did he seem sort of out of it? Maybe because he’d be seeing Cattleya less from now on? They were about the same age too, after all. Well, whatever he was feeling, it was none of my business.

And so ended my first day on the job, if I could call it that, as an exorcist of the Church of Saint Shurule.