Chapter 9

Chapter 9

He Yunxiao's beer belly had noticeably shrunk, but before Mrs. He could rejoice, He Yunxiao let out another fart. The stench hit her face so strongly that she stumbled back two steps, feeling dizzy.

The stench was absolutely revolting!

It was like a dam had exploded, and now there was no stopping it.

"Pfft, pfft, pfft—"

He Yunxiao's face turned bright red, his hands desperately trying to cover his rear.

But how could he possibly control his body? It felt like his body was a balloon ready to pop, now desperate to release it all, as if it wanted to tear through his pants.

Wu Heng had already bolted far away, his tall nose stuffed with two paper balls, and he used a scarf to cover most of his face, afraid to get too close.

So gross!

"Eww... I can almost smell it through the screen, holding my breath."

"Three hundred thousand people are watching him fart live online, ahhh if I were him, I'd move to another planet."

"Wow, this is absolutely incredible, the patient's belly seems to be shrinking."

"Uncle, please stop, I'm terrified QAQ."

"Absolutely mind-blowing, the shaman dance actually cured him! Could he really be a shaman?"

"Could illnesses that hospitals can't detect be treated by Dr. Wu? Maybe witchcraft works?"

...

He Yunxiao was already at his wit's end, having let out what felt like a lifetime's worth of stinky farts.

He was certain his classmates were glued to the livestream. How could he go back to school after this? The idea of switching schools was racing through his mind.

As He Yunxiao gloomily pondered, he suddenly noticed that as the farts became fewer, his once heavy body felt much lighter.

He couldn't resist lifting his baggy "maternity clothes," revealing his now flat, wheat-colored belly.

It had definitely shrunk.

It was visibly smaller!

He Yunxiao extended a shaky hand, gently placing it on his belly, his eyes reddening in an instant.

Almost overcome by the stench, Mr. He couldn't help but chuckle, "Silly kid, look how thrilled he is!"

Mrs. He burst into tears of joy, "How could he not be happy?"

He Yunxiao, his eyes bloodshot, angrily shouted, "Damn it, my eight-pack abs are gone!!"

That damn snake, he better not cross paths with it again!

"Hahahaha, this is truly a tragic turn of events."

"Losing one ab is tough, but losing all of them feels like the end of the world."

"Poor He, what an undeserved catastrophe, wishing those school bullies could experience He's pain." "I hope those school bullies get a taste of He's misery."

"Is the streamer still taking new consultations? I want to connect!"

"Have you all forgotten that this patient also birthed a snake? What should we do with that?"

Seeing that He Yunxiao's belly had finally returned to its usual flatness, Wu Heng pulled the plugs out of his nose and silently recited an incantation to freshen the air.

The He Family butler then carefully brought over the small snake wrapped in swaddling clothes. The little snake seemed to sense danger, its eyes wide open and its tongue flicking out, alert to everyone around.

He Yunxiao felt an inexplicable discomfort. While the things inside his belly could be dismissed as just gas, this living thing that came out seems to be a life of its own? Did this count as killing?

Wu Heng said, "Your snake fetus is the embodiment of your seven emotions and six sensory pleasures. It represents 'joy,' the foremost of the seven emotions. If nurtured well, it could actually benefit you, and in the future, it might even take care of you in your old age."

Among human emotions, some are good and some are bad, but "joy," when nurtured well, can become a cheerful little spirit snake.

"Wait, so he gave birth to a spirit beast? Damn, suddenly I feel a bit envious, what's going on?"

"Does anyone get it? I gave birth to a household guardian spirit~ a snake deity is my child."

"Other people's household guardian spirits need to be worshipped and revered, fearing they might offend them! My household guardian spirit—I gave birth to it!"

Earlier, the netizens in the live stream were just watching the spectacle, and many sympathized with the young man. But after Wu Heng's words, many netizens who believed in the Five Great Deities began to feel restless.

It sounded like a blessing in disguise, a real stroke of luck!

He Yunxiao stared at the little snake, his lips twitching but no words coming out. Even the He couple stammered, unable to articulate anything.

Wu Heng understood. People in this world seemed to have little faith in ghosts, gods, and shamans, and it was normal for them to feel fear. He then said, "How about I take care of it for now, and you can take it home on weekends?"

This compromise was immediately accepted by the He family.

Mrs. He was also conflicted. After all, this was something that had come out of her son He Yunxiao's body... a fart.

It was still part of their family, so how could they harm their own creature?

But they were also genuinely afraid to raise it.

Wu Heng's suggestion solved their immediate problem, and someone as shrewd as Mr. He quickly grasped the deeper meaning behind Wu Heng's words.

This consultation wouldn't be a one-off deal. With more interactions in the future, they might even consider Wu Heng as a godfather.

From overhearing conversations among the tough female CEOs in the business world, Mr. He vaguely knew that strange illnesses had been inexplicably frequent in recent years. Knowing a shaman could be of great benefit.

After all, people eat all kinds of food, and there will always be times when they fall ill. Doctors, especially shamans, are absolutely not to be offended.

Both parties agreed, and the little snake seemed to sense something. When Wu Heng took it, its body tensed, its head raised high, as if ready to attack.

Seeing this, Wu Heng said, "From now on, you'll stay with me, and I'll send you to your dad on weekends. I'll treat you well."

He Yunxiao still felt awkward, but thinking about how pet owners often refer to themselves as their pets' parents, he reluctantly accepted it.

Seeing the little snake looking at him eagerly, He Yunxiao glanced at the half-opened Guan Gong ritual mask on Wu Heng's head and blurted out, "Same here."

Wu Heng cast a spell to get rid of the foul smell on the little snake's body and patiently coaxed it, "If I have something to eat, you'll have something to eat too."

He Yunxiao chimed in, "Same here."

Wu Heng gave him a surprised look and said, "As long as you don't go bad and stay a good snake, I'll safeguard you."

He Yunxiao fully got into the spirit of things, clasping his hands excitedly and immediately saying, "Same here!"

"Haha, does Wu Heng not get the Zhang Fei reference? I'm dying of laughter."

"It woke me up in the middle of the night; I need to grab a snack."

"You guys eat at midnight? I just watch food streamers to curb my cravings."

With the household troubles fully resolved, the He couple beamed and promptly asked the butler to gather Wu Heng's belongings and return to the villa.

Mrs. He was even more eager, instructing the staff to prepare a guest room for Wu Heng to stay.

Wu Heng shook his head: "I’ll stay for a bit, then head out."

Using the ancient well’s path is best at midnight; daytime use might scare people, and Eugene would worry and nag him endlessly if he noticed Wu Heng was gone by morning.

Hearing this, Mr. He quickly instructed the butler to prepare a thank-you gift for Wu Heng.

Shark Video Platform’s live-streaming event requires streamers to broadcast for an hour daily to check in.

Since check-in time was still a ways off, Wu Heng sat in the He family villa’s living room and connected directly to the next person.

After Chengde Medical Hall gained fame from the incident, many netizens, out of curiosity, wanted to be the next patient.

As soon as the connection went through, He Yunxiao saw the person on the other end and gasped, "Ah!"

An old friend.

Li Hao and a few buddies were gaming together that night, so they caught He Yunxiao’s entire follow-up consultation.

The more they thought about it, the more anxious they got, so they shelled out cash to connect with the streamer.

Li Hao, masked and hatted with only his eyes visible, stuck out his hairy calf and said, "Streamer, I got bitten by a snake too, but no big belly. Can you diagnose remotely? Check my pulse—I’m not gonna pop out a little monster, am I?"

A few edgy-looking guys with wild hairstyles chimed in: "Dr. Wu, check my pulse too—I got bitten on my left arm."

"Me too! And we didn’t do any school violence, so stop spreading rumors, netizens."

"Yo, are these the school bullies? They’ve got the nerve to connect with Dr. Wu?"

"But doctors have a duty of care—they can’t pick and choose patients, right?"

"I’ll say it straight: anyone involved in school violence deserves to rot."

"Dr. Wu Heng, don’t waste your time on them! Treat them, and I’m unfollowing you right now."

The chat was flooded with angry comments from netizens who’d endured school violence, demanding Wu Heng kick Li Hao off the stream.

Li Hao couldn’t be bothered to explain and refused to back down, spamming ten Carnival gifts in a row, their flashy effects taking over the screen.

That’s cold, hard cash.

Wu Heng took it with a grin.

"I’ll treat you," Wu Heng said.

Li Hao and his buddies were thrilled, their faces briefly lit up with smugness.

"What’s so special about a shaman who acts like he’s better than a doctor? These days, money talks!"

The chat was utterly disappointed; this Wu Heng is just another sellout. Skilled but heartless.

Some even logged off the live stream right after hearing that.

Wu Heng: "The condition is to apologize to the person you bullied until he's satisfied."

Li Hao and his friends' confident smiles froze instantly, turning into shame and anger.

Apologize to Shi Xuan? As if!

What's Shi Xuan to this so-called shaman that he's so protective?

Besides, they dare not meet Shi Xuan; he's too sinister.

Li Hao's veins bulged as he shouted, "Fine, don't treat us! He Yunxiao got bitten and swelled up, but that doesn't mean we're sick!"

"Yeah, I've been fine for months, no issues."

A guy with dyed yellow hair sneered at Wu Heng through the camera, "You had an easy payday and blew it. Don't come crying later!"

Cursing under their breath, they were the first to bail.

Apologize? Never in this lifetime!

It wasn't entirely their fault to begin with; they never intended to bully Shi Xuan, just wanted to play with the snake. After all, who dares to mess with Shi Xuan? But once they locked eyes with the snake, they felt dazed and out of control. Only after throwing the snake to scare Shi Xuan did they realize it was too late.

But since they went through with it, they might as well double down. No apologies!

He Yunxiao wasn't shocked by Li Hao and his crew's reaction; he was only concerned about how to get his eight-pack abs back.

"For a second, I thought the streamer was actually going to handle those school bullies."

"Yeah, unless they apologize and get forgiven! They're probably rich kids, but the streamer didn't cave to money. I'm back on board!"

"Bummer, they look too healthy to be sick. No tears for us."

"Has the streamer not hit an hour yet? Can we get a new patient? Pick me! I've been waiting forever!"

Wu Heng was ready; he clicked the official rematch and connected with someone new in about ten seconds.

The moment the other side popped up, the chat went wild.

It's the food blogger who's been blowing up lately!

Wu Heng looked at the guy and asked, "What's the issue?"

The guy smirked and raised an eyebrow, "Aren't you the so-called shaman? Can't you figure it out?"