Chapter 26: The Breakdown
CHAPTER 26
The Breakdown
I lose track of time while preparing some sandwiches for Seiya, and by the time I realize it, it’s already getting dark. I rush over to the flower field in the spirit world, where I find Seiya and Boros standing slightly in the distance. I overhear them talking.
“Let’s call it a day, Seiya.”
“I want to keep going.”
“I told you I can only help you train until night.”
“You look fine to me. Let’s continue.”
“I—I can’t.”
“Come on.”
“No.”
“Just one more hour.”
“I told you, I can’t.”
“Thirty more minutes.”
“Please let me go…”
L-leave the guy alone! Seiya’s acting like a desperate boy in love who can’t take a hint! Seiya refuses to back down until all of a sudden…
“Mn… Mmmm…!”
Boros covers his mouth and groans. I can’t just sit back and watch any longer, so I rush over to Boros and spread my arms out in front of him to protect him.
“Seiya, stop! He’s clearly in pain!”
I look back at the God of Earth.
“Are you okay, Boros?”
That’s when…
“Stay baaaaaack!”
“Eek?!”
Boros yells at me in a frightening manner, contrary to his kind appearance. However, he promptly lowers his head to me as if he senses that I’m upset.
“M-my apologies. I don’t feel so good today. Let us continue tomorrow…”
He then quickly walks away with a hand still covering his mouth.
I give Seiya a good tongue-lashing after Boros is gone.
“Seiya! You can’t do that! You made a promise to stop before it got dark, didn’t you?”
But Seiya doesn’t even show a hint of remorse. If anything, he seems irritated.
“Hmph. It doesn’t make sense. I wanted to continue training all day.”
He then sends me a distant gaze.
“I guess I don’t have any other choice. Rista, you head back without me. I’m going to continue perfecting my earth magic with what I learned today.”
“O-okay. Fine…”
While he frustratingly only plays by his rules, perfecting his earth magic is essential for saving Ixphoria, so I give up trying to fight him and leave the field of flowers.
The next afternoon, I make some rice balls and bring them to the Summoning Chamber Seiya always sleeps in. But before I leave, I make sure to remind him one more time:
“Hey, don’t make Boros do anything he doesn’t want to do, okay?”
“No, I need to make up for lost time. He’s going to help me train all day today.”
“Seiya! You only have a few hours left until it gets dark! He’s not going to be able to help much longer!”
“A plan…? S-Seiya, what are you planning on doing?”
With little to say, the Hero briskly walks through the sanctuary with an air of confidence, but all I feel is fear.
“G-good morning, Seiya…”
Boros greets Seiya with a face that suggests he’s still feeling weird about yesterday. While I expected Seiya not to care and to demand they get started right away, he takes me by surprise and lowers his head to Boros in an uncomfortable manner.
“I’m sorry for my behavior yesterday. In my eagerness to save the parallel world, I feel I was being a little too impatient with you. Let’s do things your way today, and I’ll make sure to finish before it gets dark.”
““What?””
Both Boros and I stare in utter astonishment. I’ve never seen Seiya like this. I mean, this is what a normal person would do, but still…
“O-oh, really? I’m relieved to hear that!”
“Good. Now, before we get started…”
Seiya looks around.
“I want to learn how to actually create rock-type monsters today, but I don’t want to create golems and ruin this beautiful field of flowers.”
The Hero approaches Boros and pats him on the shoulder.
“Cave Along.”
Boros and Seiya gradually sink underground.
“H-hey?! Seiya, wait!”
I rush over and am sucked underground as well.
Once underground, though, I’m taken aback. It isn’t the usual narrow cavern I’m used to. Perhaps Seiya’s earth magic has gotten even more powerful through his battle against Grandleon and yesterday’s training, but the underground cavern is massive, with at least a ten-meter radius. While walking ahead, Seiya sticks glowstones that faintly light up the area into the earthen walls.
“I’ll be able to create as many monsters as I want now without causing any trouble.”
But Boros seems somewhat dispirited.
“I appreciate that you’re looking out for the flowers, but, Seiya, we won’t be able to tell how much time has passed, since we can’t see the sun.”
“Don’t worry. I placed a clock over there.”
When I look in the direction Seiya’s pointing, I see a round clock hanging on the cavern’s dimly lit wall.
Y-yeah, that’s not suspicious at all…
Knowing Seiya, there’s more to this than he’s letting on, but Boros must be really naive, for his face is glowing with an innocent smile.
The training soon begins. From the soil, Boros creates a golem that’s over three meters tall. It’s a powerful monster made completely out of stone. Seiya tries to copy him, but he’s only able to create a golem arm with the soil. It looks like he still needs some time before he can create an entire golem.
“Good job, Seiya! Just being able to make an arm this quickly is amazing!”
Boros praises Seiya. After that, the Hero repeatedly tries and tries until he’s finally able to make a full-size golem…which almost immediately comes crumbling down. It’s just as Boros said: Creating rock-type monsters is the most difficult skill when it comes to earth magic. Even Seiya can’t pick it up in the blink of an eye like he usually does.
…How many times has he failed? Boros is starting to fidget.
“Hey, Seiya? Are we still good on time?”
But Seiya simply points at the clock with a blank stare.
“It’s still only two o’clock.”
The hand on the clock is pointing slightly past the two, and Boros’s face is overcome with relief.
“Oh, so it is! Perfect!”
…Some more time goes by, and Seiya finally manages to create a golem. He tries to create two and three at a time, but it seems like creating multiple golems at once remains rather difficult. He still can’t create more than three at a time. Boros uses this occasion to suddenly ask:
“Don’t worry. It’s still two.”
“Great!”
Lo and behold, it still isn’t even two thirty yet according to the clock—according to the clock…
Hold up! Something definitely isn’t right here!
I’m almost positive an hour has passed since the last time we checked! So why haven’t the clock’s hands moved that much?!
Ohhh! The hands on the clock must move extremely slowly! That has to be Seiya’s plan! But this is so obvious that it won’t be long before Boros notices!
However…
“Seiya, are we still good with time?”
“It’s only two o’clock.”
“Oh, great!”
“Seiya, what time is it?”
“It’s still two.”
“Oh, thank goodness!”
No matter how much time goes by, Boros doesn’t seem to notice that it’s forever two o’clock.
“It’s so fun teaching you, Seiya!”
Boros seems to be enjoying himself a bit as well. But, well, I guess Seiya is fun to teach, since he’s like a sponge that soaks up information. He’s getting so into it that he probably doesn’t even notice the time fly by. Nevertheless, my internal clock is telling me that it’s already night. I sneak up to Seiya and whisper into his ear:
“H-hey, are you sure you should keep going like this?”
“It’s fine. Learning earth magic is the priority right now.”
“But…”
“It’s to save Ixphoria.”
“Y-you’re right.”
The training drags on and on during the endless hour of two o’clock. Eventually, Seiya lines up five golems, gazes at the magnificent sight, and nods.
“I’ve just about gotten the hang of this. That should be enough training.”
“S-Seiya! Let’s hurry back to the surface, then!”
Seiya undoes Cave Along, sending all of us straight back up to the surface. I gasp. Hanging over our heads are the two moons of the spirit world! An ocean of stars glitters in the sky. I timidly look at Boros…to find his knees trembling!
“Wh-wh-what is going on?! It’s already nighttime!”
Unabashed, Seiya points out:
“Looks like you actually can train into the night if you put your mind to it.”
I glance at Boros. His face is as white as a sheet.
What the…?!
Something feels slightly off. It was hard to notice in the dim caverns of Cave Along, but the two moons in the night sky are now illuminating Boros’s face…and that’s when I finally see the impressive mustache growing above his upper lip!
“What?! Did Boros always have a mustache?!”
“Mn… Uwooooooh!”
Boros howls with a deep roar.
“Huh?!”
The sight before my eyes shuts me right up. His mustache starts growing in each and every direction until it looks like the beard of a hermit. Thick black hair only continues emerging from his arms and legs and even from underneath his shirt!
“Boros is getting really hairy for some reason!”
I scream in surprise. The once-kind God of Earth then shoots me a piercing glare.
“You saaaw meeeeee!”
He reproachfully barks underneath his facial hair.
“B-Boros! What’s going on?!”
After glaring at Seiya and me for a few moments, he suddenly smirks defiantly.
“Heh-heh-heh… You see, I have a male god hormone imbalance that causes my body to suddenly grow body hair like this at night. As you can see, my face, arms, shins, chest, fingers, ears, and even my butt are covered in hair…”
“E-even your butt?! I-is that why you said you could only help until it gets dark outside?!”
“Exactly. I spend the entire night until dawn removing this unwanted hair. Depilatories take too long, though, so I’ve been dousing myself with weed killer.”
“What the…?! I don’t think that’s good for you!”
“Silence! I give my blood, sweat, and tears to maintain this beautiful face and body!”
The God of Earth, a deity who ludicrously thinks pouring herbicides on himself is a good idea, gazes up at the night sky and mutters:
“Ishtar is the only one who knows how hairy I really am, because I’ve worked so hard keeping it a secret until now. Heh-heh-heh… And yet, you two just…”
I-I’ve got a bad feeling about this! Seiya has already improved his earth magic, so we should get out of here before something happens!
“Thank you for teaching Seiya earth magic, Boros! We have to get going now!”
I try to push Seiya along from behind and leave with a smile, but…
“You’re not going anywhere!!”
The dreadful black ball of fur stands before us.
“Whaddaya mean you’re leaving?! ‘Thank you’? Git outta here with that crap! You can take yer thank-you and shove it up yer ass!”
“Eek?! Since when does he have an accent?!”
Boros is no longer a sweet, handsome god but a hairy, rude hillbilly. The only thing I can think of doing is lowering my head and apologizing.
“I-I’m so sorry! I promise we won’t tell anyone!”
“Now that y’all’ve seen me like this, yer gonna spend the rest of yer lives here with me!”
“B-but we’re on a mission to save Ixphoria!”
“That ain’t got shit to do with me!”
Boros’s suspicious gaze sends a chill down my spine.
This god is just as bad as the others! There are way too many weirdos in the spirit world! What is wrong with this place?!
But Seiya quietly stares at Boros without even flinching.
“…Hey, Bigfoot.”
“Wh-who’re ya callin’ Bigfoot?!”
“You. I’m very grateful for your help. However, as Rista has already told you, we have to save Ixphoria. We don’t have time to be frolicking in the flowers with a bigfoot.”
“H-how dare ya make a fool of me! Yer gonna pay…yer gonna pay for this!!”
At once, the soil around us begins rising before instantly turning into massive stone walls.
“We’re trapped! What are we going to do, Seiya?!”
But Seiya is already charging right for Boros!
“Oh? Ya came straight for the spellcaster without even lookin’ at the walls. You’ve got a good head on yer shoulders.”
Seiya swiftly makes it to Boros and places a hand on his shoulder!
Wh-what?! He’s going to try to bury Boros with earth magic just like he did to General Jonde!
But Boros doesn’t even blink.
“Oh, that’s adorable. Are ya really tryin’ to use earth magic on the God of Earth? My resistance to earth magic is maxed out! Yer magic won’t even tickle me!”
“Oh? Then I guess I should put a little effort into it.”
The instant Seiya says that, with his arm still on Boros’s shoulder…
Whump!
“Whaaaaaat?!”
Boros yells out as he sinks to his ankles!
“Wh-what power! You buried my feet even though I have max earth resistance!”
“Lower the stone walls around us.”
But Boros smugly smirks.
“This field of flowers is my territory! My powers’re already running through the soil itself! Ya can’t beat me!”
“Hmm…”
Zoop!
Seiya’s feet sink into the ground! Boros didn’t even touch him, though!
Boros then pulls his feet out of the dirt.
“Ha-ha-ha-haaa! How the tables have turned!”
The hairy deity lets out a boastful cackle while approaching Seiya as his feet are stuck underground.
“Yer gonna spend the rest of yer life takin’ care of these flowers!”
But suddenly, out of nowhere…
Wham!
A powerful thud echoes.
“…Googaaah?”
And Boros’s feet sink back into the ground! That’s when I notice Seiya’s fist driving into the back of Boros’s skull. The God of Earth’s eyes roll to the back of his head for a brief moment, but…
“Th-that didn’t hurt!”
He pulls his feet out of the ground and walks behind Seiya, who still can’t move.
“Y-you’ve really done it now! I’m gonna work ya like a mule all day and all night!”
But Boros comes to a sudden stop when he reaches Seiya’s back.
“…Hfffooo?”
Seiya’s feet are still trapped underground thanks to Boros’s magic. But even so, Seiya manages to smack the back of Boros’s head with his platinum sword’s sheath without even looking. He then relentlessly continues pummeling him as if he was hammering a nail!
“Hmph.”
Boros is buried up to his thighs!
“Hmph!”
Boros is buried up to his hips!
Seiya then takes in a deep breath.
“I hope you’re ready for this. Magic: full power.”
Without missing a beat, he whacks Boros with his sheath as hard as he can.
BAM!
“Owwwwww!”
…Boros roars one last time, but before I even realize it, he’s nowhere to be found. W-wait… I think I see his forehead sticking out of the ground!
The stone walls around us disappear. I rush over to Seiya as he pulls his legs out of the ground and brushes the dirt off his body.
“S-Seiya! Is Boros okay?! You only left his forehead sticking out!”
“He’ll be fine. Just like undead, deities can’t die, either.”
“B-but…!”
Paying no heed to Boros’s situation, Seiya gazes at his palm with evident satisfaction.
“Perfect. I managed to create an army of stone-type monsters without issue, and my earth magic has developed enough to bury even Bigfoot alive, despite his powerful earth resistance.”
“Stop calling him that!”
Seiya steps on the small portion of Boros’s head that’s sticking out of the ground while turning his gaze toward the beautiful moons in the sky. He then runs his fingers through his hair and says:
“I’m perfectly prepared.”
“Seiya?! You’re stepping on him! You’re stepping on his head!”