Chapter 28: The Path of Anger

Chapter 28:
The Path of Anger

 

IN THE END, I decided to take the Path of Anger. Both of my remaining options likely involved doing something unkind—assuming they followed the same pattern established by the Path of Laughter. But in my experience, it was easier to enrage a stranger than it was to make them sad. At least, that was my reasoning.

Just like the last path, there was a door just inside the hole in the wall. I opened it and went through.

“Welcome to the strongest battalion!” someone shouted.

Too loud. That was a pretty aggressive greeting. Standing around me were ten soldiers in light armor, and all of them were smiling at me. The rest of the room looked like a training ground. It was even big enough to hold a bunch of target dummies and the like.

“So,” I said, “I just kinda ended up here. I don’t know anything about this place.”

“Ah ha ha ha! You’re so funny!” said one of the soldiers. “You’re here to join the strongest battalion, aren’t you? If not, you should go back the way you came.”

“I-I see. I guess I am.”

I wouldn’t get anywhere if I didn’t play along. I still couldn’t see any of these guys with my Discerning Eye, so they had to be illusions just like the guys in the comedy club. A dandyish gentleman with a stylish beard offered me his hand, and I shook it.

“I’m Son, leader of the battalion. Welcome to our ranks. Would you care to train with us today?”

“If you’ll have me,” I answered.

“Absolutely. Your garb is…somewhat unusual, but it will do for now. Shall we get started?”

Unlike in the comedy club, I didn’t get any advice this time. But, after a quick glance around, I noticed a door on the far side of the training ground.

“Sir,” I said. “Can I ask you something first? What’s behind that door?”

“That’s like a jail cell. We throw any good-for-nothings in there as punishment.”

Aha! That was it! The stairs had to be on the other side of that door. All I had to do was piss them off enough that they threw me in there.

“First off,” said Son. “Let’s start with sword swings. Are you ready?”

I obediently took out my weapon and started swinging. I’d been at it a while by the time I realized this wasn’t likely to piss them off. The thought of disobeying orders was a little scary, but I couldn’t stay here forever. I stopped what I was doing and sat down.

“What do you think you’re doing, newcomer?” Son asked.

“I’m tired,” I said. “I’m taking a break”

“A break?”

He frowned at me. They’d said they were the strongest battalion, so surely they were strict about laziness? But Son just rubbed his beard and shrugged.

“Oh well,” he said. “You are new, after all. I guess it’s to be expected.”

It…felt strange to be so disappointed that I wasn’t in trouble. I tried lying down, even closing my eyes, but none of them seemed to care.

“Hah!” someone laughed. “New guy’s already exhausted. I guess everyone starts somewhere.”

What the heck? They couldn’t have been less angry if they tried. What was with all these generous words of support? I mean, it was nice and all, but that was kinda the problem. While I lay there trying to figure it out, they moved on to sparring with live blades.

“Newcomer,” said Son. “Why don’t you go first?”

“Um, okay.”

Time to behave as badly as possible!

“You can do it, new guy,” urged one of the soldiers.

“I’ve got high hopes for you,” said another.

They all seemed pretty excited. My opponent was an older boy with narrow eyes. He raised his sword and pointed it at me, but I just ignored him.

“You guys aren’t the strongest battalion,” I said. “You’re garbage!”

“Come on, new guy,” said my opponent. “Don’t be like that.”

“Come on,” I said, waving my sword. “Come at me.”

I stuck out my tongue, taunting him, but he just smiled and swung his sword. Time to try something else. I knocked his sword upwards, then kicked him in the arm.

“Oops…”

His sword clattered to the ground. That was it! I’d won! It turned out he wasn’t so strong after all.

“Wow, new guy!” he said. “You’re pretty good!”

“Am I?” I shot back. “Or are you just awful? I mean, I didn’t even use half my strength there. Is your name some kind of joke? Strongest battalion my butt!”

“……”

Silence fell like a ton of bricks. Good, I’d hurt their pride. It felt like a volcano was about to erupt…but in the end, all that erupted was laughter.

“You’re so funny!”

“Hey, the new guy’s got real fire in him, huh?! I can’t wait to see what he can do!”

They all laughed until they doubled over. Maybe this situation was pretty funny. I even found myself giggling along with them before I caught myself.

But this was bad. This was really bad. Why were they so nice?! I couldn’t figure out what to do so, when they went back to their training, I plopped myself down next to the door and tried the handle. It was locked.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Son shouted.

Ack!

I jumped out of my skin, already starting to apologize, but he wasn’t talking to me. One of the other recruits had fallen over during training. The others all gathered around him.

“Stand up, dumbass! You think you’re gonna make it if this is all you’ve got, maggot?!”

“S-sorry.”

“Stand up! You have three seconds.”

The timid man stood up, but his legs buckled and he immediately fell down again. Son looked down at him cruelly.

“You’re out.”

“Sir, please!” said the man. “Give me another chance! I’ll get up!”

He forced himself to stand, but this time Son kicked him in the shin. He promptly collapsed again, and the other soldiers burst out laughing. Why were they treating him so differently than me? It didn’t make any sense.

“You’re done,” Son told the timid man. “Get your things and go back under whatever rock you crawled out from.”

“But sir, please! I have family back home! If I lose this job, they’ll die!”

“Oh, boo hoo! Please. Why should I give a damn?”

“But…”

No one went to his aid. They all just pointed and laughed like children. It was disgusting. Before I knew what I was doing, I was right up in Son’s face.

“I don’t care what he did,” I said. “You’ve crossed a line.”

“He’s a disgrace to the unit.”

“He’s keeping up better than I did,” I shot back. “Perhaps you shouldn’t be such a jackass.”

“What, you’re taking his side?”

“You don’t get strong by bullying the weak. You should defend them. That’s what earns you the right to call yourself the strongest.”

“You have no right to lecture me!” Son snapped.

The others started heckling me, too. This anger didn’t feel natural. Something more was going on.

“Oh, wait,” I said. “Does this mean I passed the Path of Anger?”

I’d forgotten about it for a moment there, but I guess that did the trick. Maybe they would take me to that room now.

“Sir,” said one of the soldiers. “Let’s kill him!”

“Good idea,” Son agreed. “Can’t let him spread nasty rumors. Everyone—attack!”

That was…not what I expected. They came at me all at once with their swords drawn. Individually, I could take them, but all on at once? This was going to be a challenge. While I tried to figure out what to do, I ducked behind one of the wooden practice dummies.

“Die, new guy!”

I dodged. Somehow, the guy’s sword got stuck in the practice dummy. Not one to miss an opportunity, I punched him in the nuts.

“Aghh!”

“Sorry, you gave me no other choice.”

That tactic had worked well once already, so I tried it again. If they surrounded me, I’d be toast. So I just kept dodging out of the way, hiding behind the dummies. If I could find a way to use magic, I could end this. Skipping back from another blow, I produced the skill Explode and Bestowed it on the dummy. It blew up immediately, sending wood and shrapnel flying everywhere. The soldiers staggered back in shock, and I took the opportunity to fire off some forty-inch Stone Bullets.

“Ugh!”

Their light armor didn’t stand a chance. Son was the only one with any real skill. When I fired a rock at him, he somehow sliced it in two.

“You won’t get past me, pipsqueak.”

I quickly examined his sword. It was a B-Grade weapon called the Bladeless Blade. A bit of an odd name, but it did have both the Rock Cutter and Tree Cutter skills on it. I caught his slash against my sword.

“How is a greenhorn like you so strong…?” he growled.

I was stronger than him. I could do this. I pushed back with all my might, and Son lost his footing. I blew up another wooden dummy to distract him and fired off a gout of Holy Flame. The white fire caught in his hair and set his beard on fire.

“Hot! Hot!”

He dropped his sword and tried frantically to put it out. I hadn’t put much power into the fire, so he patted out the flames without any real injury. While he was busy doing that, I picked up his sword and used it, along with my own, to trap his neck in a pincer. Son froze.

“You bastard.”

“I’m uppity, aren’t I?” I agreed. “Think I’ll sit in that cell and reflect on my actions.”

“What?”

“Gimme the key.”

“No!”

I sighed. “Well, guess I have to take it by force then.”

“Here, take it!”

Once he realized he was in danger, he handed it over right away. I took it from him, careful to keep an eye on him as I headed for the door.

“Wait,” he shouted after me. “That’s my sword!”

“You threw it away,” I said. “That’s no way to treat a perfectly good sword. I’m giving it a new home.”

“Y-you’re a monster! Never show your face here again!”

No fear there, buddy.

I never had any intention of coming here again. The key seemed to be real, so I opened the door. The room beyond was small, and the stairs down to the next floor were right in the middle of it.

“Yes!”

I raised my newly acquired sword in celebration.

Time to head down.