Chapter 29: Home Sweet Home

Chapter 29:
Home Sweet Home

 

FINALLY, I was safely on the eleventh floor. Phew! Of course, every floor had its own challenges, but I felt like I deserved a reward after all that. I walked down the stairs quickly, feeling very pleased with myself, but I was quickly snapped back to reality.

“It’s…so hot.”

Maybe sweltering was a better word. There was even magma down here! That wasn’t something you saw every day. There was a path through the volcanic chamber, but it was uneven and covered in ash. The space on either side was massive, dotted with boulders.

Would fire resistance work against magma? Would even the S-Grade version of that skill keep me safe down here? There were probably limits to what the human body could take. I inched along the path, drenched in sweat. It was hard to avoid the magma, and I was parched.

“Haa haa…”

I pulled some water out of my pocket dimension and gulped it all down. That’s when something moved in the corner of my vision. The fin of something. A fish? It couldn’t be. It was huge and swimming through the magma. It had to be a monster. I crept close enough to use Discerning Eye.

 

Name: Magmafish

Level: 260

Skills: High-Speed Swimming; Poison Sight

 

What the hell?! I’d only just gotten down here, and I was already facing monsters like that? They only seemed to be getting more powerful the further down I went. To be expected, perhaps, but still annoying.

“That’s it. I’m calling it quits for today.”

It was so hot that I could barely breathe, and I really didn’t feel like fighting that magmafish. So I collected a few pebbles and pieces of rock in the hopes that they might sell in the shop, then used the Dungeon Elevator to head back out.

The air was refreshingly cool outside, and I quickly made my way home. But when I opened the front door of my house, Emma came out running.

“Lemme guess,” I said. “You’re here to hang out?”

“You betcha! Hey, c’mere.”

She led me into the living room. There were a bunch of strange things laid out on the table.

“I knew you wouldn’t be gone long,” Emma said. “Enjoy!”

I looked more closely at the things on the table. A seafood salad made with blue wakame, and grilled rice balls made with red kombu. They were all dishes prepared with items I’d retrieved from the ninth floor. I thought we’d sold all of this. Had she saved some?

“Your mom helped me make them,” said Emma. “Try! Try!”

“Well, they do look unusual.”

“Think it’ll earn you some LP?” she asked.

I sat down to investigate. You could hardly tell the rice balls were made with red kombu, but the salad looked a little dubious. There was minced cabbage, thinly sliced salmon, shrimp, tomatoes, and scallops, but it was the blue wakame that stood out the most. It was a nice color, if a little unusual. I wanted to admire them a little longer, but my mother and Emma were insistent. I took a bite out of a rice ball.

“Delicious!”

I know it sounded phony, but it was true! The outside was crunchy and the inside was soft and savory with miso. Miso came from another dimension, but it was pretty well-known. It was often used in soups, but it was fantastic in rice, too. The finely chopped red kombu flakes only served to heighten the flavor. It had a nice chew and was just a touch spicy.

“Try the salad next,” Emma urged.

“All right…whoa, this is great, too! The wakame is perfectly steeped. It’s delicious! Just the right amount of sour.”

“Right?” Emma said. “Apparently all blue wakame tastes like that.”

“I guess it really is different from the normal kind.”

Not to insult normal wakame, but it mostly tasted like nothing. This stuff was on a whole other level. I was pretty hungry, so I scarfed down the lot. It filled up both my stomach and my LP pool. As I patted my stomach, Emma wrapped her arms around my neck.

“Eh he he, are you satisfied, sir?”

“Well, I say! I am most certainly stuffed.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Emma said. “I worked my fingers to the bone to make it.”

“Thank you kindly, fair maiden.”

My mother watched us both, smiling to herself.

“You two are close as ever. Did you have fun at the hot springs?”

“It was so fun!” Emma said. “But you wouldn’t believe what happened: the boys in our class tried to peep on us!”

“Oh, goodness!”

“But Noir tried to stop them,” Emma went on. “He was all like, ‘Emma’s body belongs to me!’ and crushed them!”

“My!” said mother. “You’ve gotten quite bold with Emma, haven’t you Noir?”

“I know!” Emma said. “He just loses his head over me. It’s a real pain sometimes.”

Dammit! The conversation moved on before I could correct her. That was something a common pervert would say. Although…I guess I probably fit the description.

Before Emma could get me into any more trouble, father and Tigerson got home.

“Oh,” said father. “Emma’s here?”

“I am! Did you have a good day at work?”

“Yes, thank you! And thanks for buying that kombu and wakame.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” said Emma. “Think of it as a little allowance for the Stardia family.”

Ahhh, so that was the answer. Emma had bought the kombu and wakame from the store. My father grinned from ear-to-ear, grabbing my shoulders.

“You’re such a lucky boy—having a rich and lovely friend like Emma. I’m so jealous.”

“I do appreciate her,” I told him. “And her cooking was delicious.”

My father looked down at the empty plates. His stomach growled.

“Alice is shopping for groceries,” he said. “Let’s go find her and all go out for a meal together!”

“Father, weren’t you listening to what I just said?” I asked. “I’m full.”

“What? You’re sayin’ you won’t eat my food?”

“I’m saying the fact you’re the one suggesting it is enough to put me off.”

“Did you all hear that?” father shouted. “My sweet boy is going through his rebellious phase. How horrible!”

He pretended to cry. My mother shook her head.

“Dear,” she said cooly. “Alice says all sorts of things behind your back. All. Sorts. Of things.”

“Uh…really?” said father. “Like what?”

“You shall just have to ask her yourself.”

She was messing with him. She was absolutely messing with him. But he was starting to get really upset.

“Tigerson, do you know what Alice says about me?!”

<Hmm, let’s see. ‘Father is such a *******!’ or ‘Father is so ****.’ Things like that.>

“I don’t understand. What were those words you censored?”

Tigerson shook his head gravely. <I fear the shock of it might kill you.>

“It’s that bad?!” father wailed, clutching his head.

The rest of us started laughing. Just how shocking could it be? He endured my verbal attacks with no problem. I guess the idea of it coming from his innocent little daughter made it harder to bear.

In the end, father was a mere shell of his former self. We dragged him out to meet Alice, then headed to a fancy restaurant together. Our shop was doing well, so we could afford to indulge a little. My father kept urging me to eat more, so I kept on stuffing my face until I thought my stomach might explode. I was a growing boy, but there was only so much food I could handle!

Perhaps I could give myself the Gluttony skill to make it easier to swallow?

Heh, easier to swallow.

No, I quickly gave up that idea. How would Emma and the others feel if I started piling on the pounds?

“Eat more, Noir!” Emma said. “I would never stop liking you for getting fat!”

I guess that decided it then!