Chapter 1: A Letter from My Brother

The Hidden Dungeon Only I Can Enter — LNCrawler · All chapters

Chapter 1:
A Letter from My Brother

POKE. Poke. Poke!

I wanted to sleep a little longer, but I forced my eyes open to find none other than my good friend Emma staring right at my face. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest. Sure, I saw Emma all the time, but not usually from this close.

I stared at her smiling face. She really had gotten pretty lately, hadn’t she? Even at such close range, I couldn’t spot a single blemish.

“Eh he he, so you’re finally awake, sleepyhead.” Emma seemed to have taken a liking to my cheeks, because she wouldn’t stop poking them.

“How long have you been here, Emma?”

“Not long. I have some stuff to do today, but I thought I’d help you earn a little LP first.”

“What did I ever do to deserve such a wonderful friend?” I said melodramatically.

Emma lay down beside me and wrapped her arms around me, earning me some LP. We did a little more than that, but I’ll just leave it to your imagination.

We went downstairs, but everyone else must have gone out already. The house was empty, although someone had left breakfast out for me—probably my little sister Alice. I sat down to eat, and Emma brought me some water.

“Thank you.” We were close, but I think it’s always a good idea to be grateful.

“Summer vacation is half over already, huh?” Emma said.

“Yeah. I wanna come up with a plan for the rest of our free time. Are you going anywhere today?”

“Heh, I have some secret training,” she said. “It’s not fair that you just keep getting stronger, Noir. I’m not about to let you get away with that.”

She came off like an airhead at times, but Emma was a hard worker. I probably shouldn’t have been surprised that she was training behind my back. I used my Discerning Eye and saw that she’d already gone up a few levels.

Emma could just have asked me for help, of course. After all, she was providing me with a steady stream of LP. But when I mentioned that, she just flashed me a victory sign.

“All right,” she said. “I’ll think about it. But don’t push yourself, Noir. Although, knowing you, you won’t do anything to put yourself in real danger.”

She knew me too well. The guy who crumbled under the slightest stress, that was me, Noir, the third son of the Stardia family! I guess it wasn’t exactly something to brag about…

Joking aside, I had to decide what to do with the rest of my vacation. I wanted to return to the hidden dungeon, but the next floor was hot and dangerous as a volcano, and there were those magmafish monsters too. Not only were they high-level, they had some terrifying skills, to boot! I needed to consult my master Olivia before I attempted to face them again.

I’d also been neglecting my adventuring duties, so it was about time to pick up some requests from the guild. I figured I could ask Lola if she had anything good, then visit Luna, and end the day by training with Leila.

“Ohhh, you’re thinking about other girls, aren’t you?”

“I…can neither confirm nor deny.”

“Noir, you’re an idiot! And I know you’re thinking about doing naughty things with them, aren’t you?”

“N-no, it’s just…you know, for the LP and…huh?”

“Is this the Stardia estate?”

We both looked up at the sound of an unfamiliar man at the door. When I opened it, he handed me a letter. That was, theoretically, a pretty uncommon occurrence. More prominent nobles often corresponded with other important people in neighboring regions, but our family was too low rank to receive much in the way of mail.

Either way, it turned out that the sender wasn’t another noble at all. My older brother had written to us.

“It’s from Gillan!”

“Well, that’s weird,” said Emma. “He doesn’t usually send letters.”

Both my older brothers had left home. Gillan was four years my senior; he lived in a town called Honest in a neighboring country, attending trade school to become a merchant.

There were two letters—one for my father, and one for me. I was happy that Gillan had remembered me. He had a tendency to get carried away, but he had always looked after Alice and I when we were younger.

I tore open my envelope and scanned the contents.

“Go on, read it out loud,” Emma insisted.

“Yeah, sure.”

It was written in his usual atrocious penmanship.

“Yooo!” I read out loud. “Noir, how you doing? I’m like, super great! Also like, dude, I’m like wicked popular with the ladies! My trade school’s only 20 percent women, but half of them are my girlfriends! The other half are massive uggos, so I let the other guys have them!”

I felt a headache coming on already. He’d been like this for forever, but he seemed to really be leaning into the shallow playboy thing.

“It’s kind of crazy to think you’re related to either of your brothers, huh?” Emma asked.

“You can say that again.”

My eldest brother was the polar opposite of Gillan—a straitlaced, by-the-book hard worker. When they were both still at home, a lot of people had seriously questioned if we all came from the same family.

I ran my eyes over the rest of the letter.

“You must be working at the library by now, right, Noir? With Emma, right? Man, she sure turned out to be a real looker. Her boobs were always big, but now they’re massive! You listen to me Noir, don’t let her get away! I don’t even have any girls like that here! And she’s a noble as well—a total catch in every respect. You’d best be grateful for what you have!

“Anyway, bring Emma and your friends to hang out with me sometime! I’m dying to see you again. Or if you just wanna fool around with some hot chicks, come by yourself. I can’t promise anyone with boobs as big as Emma’s, but there’s some excellent tail here. Don’t disappoint me, bro!”

“Can I hit him?” Emma asked.

“Th-that’s my line! I mean, he is my brother.”

“Isn’t he supposed to be in school? What is that idiot even doing there?”

Emma was already frowning, so I took care not to upset her further.

Gillan had included his address in Honest at the end. It seemed like he hadn’t changed much, but I hadn’t seen him in almost two years. I missed him. Plus, I’d heard Honest always had a ton of stuff going on—festivities and the like. A little trip abroad might not be such a bad idea after all.

“If you’re thinking about going, I’m coming with you. We’re two peas in a pod, remember?!” Emma declared as she made her way out the door.

***

I felt a bit lonesome after she left, so I decided to pay my master a visit.

I paused at the entrance to the hidden dungeon and said the magic words to get inside. After I made quick work of some golden slimes on the first floor, I headed down to the second.

When I got to my master’s room, her voice rang out cheerfully in my head. <It’s been ages! Noir, you tease, I can’t believe you left your poor dear Olivia hanging!>

“You always have to make things weird, don’t you?”

It was embarrassing that I thought about it for even a second. I mean, well, despite her personality, she was a total knockout, so maybe I didn’t need to be so hard on myself.

“You’re always doing so much for me, Master… I really want to set you free.” I eyed the chains that kept her trapped.

Olivia didn’t reply, but I heard an odd moaning. It almost sounded like she was crying. <I-I’m so happy my pupil turned out to be such a good kid… But honest, I don’t mind staying like this for a while. You should focus on clearing this dungeon before you worry about little old me.>

She always wanted me to put myself first. How like her.

In any case, I got down to business and asked for her advice on the eleventh floor. Specifically, on how to cope with the heat and handle those dangerous fish.

<Here’s your chance to prove yourself to your master. Give me a report on your abilities. Show me growth in other places, not just down there.>

“Get your mind out of the gutter.”

All the same, I did as she asked.

Level: 127

Current Weapons: Two-Edged Blade (Sharp Edge, Good Luck); Blade of Divine Punishment (Sharp Edge, Wolf Killer); Piercing Spear; Shield of Champions (Durable, Fire Resistance [Grade A], Water Resistance [Grade A], Wind Resistance [Grade A]); Unnamed Mallet (Stone Crusher); Octopus-Killing Harpoon (Octopus Killer [Grade S])

Skills: Great Sage; Get Creative; Bestow; Editor; LP Conversion; LP Conversion (Money); LP Conversion (Items); Stone Bullet; Holy Flame; Lightning Strike; Water Drop; Blinding Light; Throwing (Grade B); Discerning Eye; Discerning Eye for Items; Pocket Dimension (Grade C); Dungeon Elevator; Exorcism; Excavate; Improved Back Step; Passive Defense; Magical Fusion; Deodorize; Lucky Lecher; Shoulder Rub; Night Vision; Headache Immunity; Paralysis Immunity (Grade C); Panacea (Grade C); Courage; Hearing Protection; Dancing; Diving; Zero Breathing

Wow, that was exhausting.

<Heh, you sure have gotten strong, Noir, my boy. That’s a fine list of skills.>

“Yeah, but the problem is I’m still not all that strong.”

<Well, let’s just say it’s a trade-off for having stuff like Editor and Bestow in your tool kit. How much LP do you have?>

“About twelve thousand,” I said confidently.

Olivia was impressed, but in fact it was all down to the hard work of Emma, Lola, Luna, Leila, my little sister Alice, and Ms. Elena.

A-Grade Heat Resistance was 2,000 LP, so I started there. After that, I went with the two ice spells Olivia suggested. Icicle fired ice projectiles, similar to Stone Bullet, for 400 LP. It wasn’t very strong on its own, so I used Editor to fiddle with it—adjusting the size and damage of the projectiles for an extra 1,000 LP.

Lastly, I grabbed Iceball for 500 LP. It was, as the name implied, the ice version of Fireball, and it froze instead of burned. I spent another 1,200 LP adjusting the size, which seemed to correlate directly with the area it could freeze.

<See? Even though Icicle and Iceball are pretty low-level skills, with Editor, you can transform them into mid-tier or even high-level skills.>

All that cost me 5,100 LP, burning up half my reserves. It was a lot, but if I could get the hang of these spells, then it’d be worth it.

“Because it’s all over if you die, right?”

<Exactly!>

I flashed her a thumbs up and was about to leave when she called after me with uncharacteristic panic.

“Did hell freeze over? You’re not usually this concerned.”

“I can’t say I buy it, but I appreciate the thought. I’ll be careful.”

I reminded her that I was a coward and would always put my own safety first. Then I used my Dungeon Elevator skill to return to the eleventh floor.

As I approached the entrance, billows of hot air swept around me. It really was sweltering down there, but thanks to my newly acquired Heat Resistance, it didn’t feel nearly as bad as before. Even better, the A-Grade version didn’t just protect me against external heat, it also helped prevent excess sweating or body temperature spikes. No matter how long I spent down there, I wouldn’t get dehydrated.

The eleventh floor was pretty big, but there were so many large rocks that my view was limited. The ground was ash gray and uneven, making it difficult to walk across, but the cherry on top was the endless bubbling magma.

All that being said, what really had me worried about the eleventh floor were the terrifying, Level 250 monsters.

***

I surveyed the eleventh floor to get the lay of the land. Shockingly, I spotted the stairs to the twelfth floor right away. They were on the other side of the room—but of course, it wasn’t that simple: between me and the stairs was a giant pool of magma. A path led straight up to it, but it was impossible to avoid all the magma. In some places, the magma looked smooth and free-flowing, while in the other areas it ran much thicker, seeming almost sticky. I couldn’t explain how multiple types of magma coexisted in the same room but, given the dungeon’s power, it was probably some kind of trap.

And then, of course, there were the monsters. A dorsal fin stuck out of the magma, cutting through the molten sea at incredible speed. And it wasn’t just lurking at a distance.

Name: Magmafish

Level: 260

Skills: High-Speed Swimming; Poison Sight

It was definitely the same one as before. Either it hadn’t noticed me yet, or it had, and it didn’t care.

“If Olivia were here, she’d defeat it in a second…”

That Poison Sight really worried me. I extremely did not want to get poisoned. Fortunately, I had some extra LP, so I looked into making myself a skill. A-Grade Poison Resistance was 1,200 LP, so I armed myself with that just in case. Then, cautiously, I approached the magma.

The fish swam swiftly toward me, and I prepared to use one of my skills when—splash! The fish leapt through the air. I couldn’t help but stare. It looked a lot like a koi, although it was long—about three feet, and vivid red. It was sharper and sleeker-looking than a koi, too. But more than anything, I was caught by the deep green glint of—

“Ugh…ahhh…”

I let out an unseemly groan and stumbled back, sick to my stomach. I thought I might collapse, but I recovered soon enough. Could that have been the fish’s Poison Sight? I had met its fishy gaze, so that was the most logical conclusion. My A-Grade Poison Resistance had saved me from any serious effects, but if I hadn’t had that—oof.

As flustered as I was, I turned to counterattack—stretching out my left hand and firing off shards of ice.

Fwish!

I missed. The fish dove back under the magma, but I’d spooked it. It took off at incredible speed. I could still see its fin sticking up, so I fired Icicle after Icicle, but they disappeared in impotent puffs of steam as soon as they touched the magma.

“N-none of those hit.”

It was starting to look like these spells were a waste of time, but I needed to stay calm. After all, the fish didn’t have anywhere to run. Theoretically, I could use Iceball, but freezing magma would probably take more power than I had to call on. If only that dumb fish would jump again.

As if it read my mind, the magmafish soared back up into the air. This was it, but I froze in my tracks. The fish had launched itself right at me. Reflexively, I held out my left hand to shield myself.

“Ow! No way?!”

As soon as I touched it, pain lanced through my body. I succeeded in smacking it out of the air, but I’d burned my hand. Good thing I’d used my left!

“How dare you!”

I grabbed my sword and slashed at the magmafish as it flapped on the ground, but it was thrashing about so much that I missed again. It seemed to be trying to get back to the magma. I wasn’t about to let that happen.

I made an Iceball about the size of my head and fired it off. This time, it hit. The creature froze solid, killing it instantly, and leveling me up in the process.

“I think I can keep going.”

I had the Heat Resistance skill to thank for getting out of that situation with only mild burns. I’d have to ask Luna to treat me when I got back to town.

I checked to make sure there were no more fish and made my way to the back of the room. The stairs were right on the other side of the magma. About seven or eight yards of it separated me from more solid ground. It seemed like a pretty tough jump. I could always cast an Iceball to freeze it, maybe—I could make one up to three feet in diameter—but I wasn’t confident that it wouldn’t instantly vaporize. And there could be other critters hiding within the molten rock. My best bet was to try and make the jump.

Jumping (Grade C) – 300 LP

Jumping (Grade B) – 700 LP

Jumping (Grade A) – 1,500 LP

Jumping (Grade S) – 2,500 LP

I had over 5,000 LP left, but I’d spent a lot of it today. I considered going with the cheapest option, but ultimately I concluded that the C-Grade version would end with me doing a cannonball into the magma, and B-Grade would barely get me across. With the A-Grade version, I’d make it with room to spare, and with S-Grade, I could make the jump with my eyes closed. Since failure would result in certain death, I couldn’t chance it. I splurged on the A-Grade and found a safe spot to try a test jump.

“Whooooooaaa!”

I flew through the air like a bird. A few seconds later, I was once again a regular human with two feet on the ground, but that had been exhilarating! I could jump thirty feet like it was nothing.

I stood at the edge the magma and took several deep breaths.

“Hyup!”

It was scary to look down and see magma roiling beneath my feet, but I made the jump easily. I glanced back over my shoulder and, without a second thought, dashed down the stairs.

Farewell, eleventh floor! Hello floor number twelve!

What would I find down there? I descended into a big room with a door in the back. That wasn’t unusual, but the weapons littering the ground certainly were. I couldn’t even see the floor!

“What the…? Maybe I should take some?”

I had a Discerning Eye for Items, so in theory I could avoid any with dangerous skills. But the hidden dungeon had outwitted me again! All these weapons came equipped with Conceal, so I couldn’t tell the good ones from the bad. While I pondered my predicament, a voice called out to me.

<Hey, will you take me with you?>

“What?!”

I spun around, brandishing my sword, but there was no one there. An icy chill ran down my spine.

<Yeah! You might scare him off!>

I couldn’t help myself. I ran. I mean, the voices were coming from the weapons! Swords, spears, axes, flails—all sorts of implements of violence had minds and voices of their own. Worse, they seemed hostile. From what I gathered, they all wanted me to use them. They were pleading with me to pick them.

<Come on, pick me,> a greatsword argued. <There are probably tons of scary monsters up ahead. With a blade like me, you’d take them all out with one hit!>

<Yeah, right! Don’t forget all the narrow corridors down here,> countered a club. <You really think you could swing her effectively? I’m the one you want!>

It was strange that they could all talk, but they didn’t seem able to move on their own. I hurried through the room to the door without touching any of them.

“Sorry, I’m full up on weapons already.”

I flashed my pride and joy—my two-edged blade—and reached for the doorknob, but the door wouldn’t budge. Strange. It didn’t seem locked.

“So, I have to pick one of you?”

<Exactly.>

Well, at least I knew what was expected of me. My inability to read them was probably part of the dungeon’s plan too. Maybe I could get away with picking one to open the door, then immediately tossing it? But the weapons seemed to guess what I was thinking.

“Hm…”

<Pick! Pick! Pick!>

I ignored their pressuring tactics and counted them up. There were forty-eight in total. If only one of them was the right one, the chances of me picking it at random weren’t good.

“Actually, I have all the time in the world. And I won’t be picking any of you.”

“I mean, I used a lot of magic on the previous floor. I’m not in any rush to push my luck.”

<Liar. You didn’t come all the way down here just to turn back. You’ll die before you get out again.>

“I have a question for you: Do I look strong enough to come straight back whenever I want?”

I wasn’t very happy to hear that, but I was glad that they agreed. And, by now, my Dungeon Elevator was ready to use again.

“Well, I’m off.”

<Wait! When will you be back?!>

“Good question. Since you guys are so mean, maybe I’ll wait five hundred years. Assuming I’m still alive,” I said.

It was a little mean-spirited, but that didn’t bother me in the slightest. I jumped in the hole the Dungeon Elevator created, leaving the weapons’ anguished cries behind.

***

If I went to visit Gillan in Honest, I wouldn’t be able to return to the dungeon for a while. That was exactly the sort of thing Olivia would make a big fuss about, so I stopped by the second floor again on my way out.

The moment I entered the room, my heart jumped at the suggestive sounds she was making.

<Ahh! Ahh! Yes! This is even more intense than last night!>

“Master…?”

<I’ve…I’ve never felt this way before! Yes! You’re so much better than my husband!>

“I’m pretty sure cats in heat make less aggravating noise.”

Oh come on, I thought. I know you threw that last line in just because you knew I was here.

I had a feeling I already knew the answer, but I went to see what she was doing anyway.

“You were imagining me?!”

“But…you’re not married, are you?”

She probably wasn’t wrong that some men liked that sort of thing, but I was extremely vanilla and had no such predilections. Still, joking aside, I told her about my outing and asked for her advice on how to handle those weapons.

<Well, if you have to pick one, maybe you should interview them.>

“But there are so many! Even if I had help, it’d take ages.”

That was just like her. I appreciated the advice, and I resolved to try it next time. With that settled, I told her about my trip and, unsurprisingly, she threw a tantrum. I couldn’t even placate her by promising souvenirs.

<Fine! As an apology, I want head pats! And I want you to praise me with all your heart. Then I’ll give you permission to leave!>

Guess I didn’t have much of a choice. I reached out for her pretty, pale-blue hair. It was so shiny, it was hard to believe she’d been trapped here for two hundred years. It felt soft and silky. I patted her on the head and didn’t forget the praise.

“You’re looking lovely as ever today, Master.”

<I’m like, wicked haps!>

I’d never heard that phrase before, but it already felt strangely dated. I got the feeling I’d be hearing it a lot more from now on.

<Bye, my darling husband.>

“Now I’m the guy you’re cheating on?! I’m leaving.”

Weirdly, even though both of her arms were chained, I could’ve sworn I saw her wave.

When I got back above ground, the moon was already up, so I headed straight home and went to bed. Exploring dungeons sure was exhausting work!

***

Over breakfast the next day, I told everyone about Gillan’s letter. Father, mother, and Tigerson were all in favor of my trip.

“He’s such a good-for-nothing,” my father complained. “I wanna give him a piece of my mind.”

“I’m sure we could say the same about you, dear,” my mother countered. “Isn’t that right, Tigey?”

By now, Tigerson—a giant black lion with a tulip growing on his head—was just another part of our family.

“I-I was not! That lady just, uh…she had a bug on her butt! That’s all!”

There wasn’t a soul in the house who believed him.

<I wish I could meet your elder brother as well, Noir,> said Tigerson. He sounded a little envious.

“Wanna come with?”

<Oh no, I would attract far too much attention. And I am so busy with the shop.> At Stardian Rarities, we sold things I found in the dungeon and whatnot along with monster materials Tigerson collected. <There are occasional shoplifters, so I must keep watch.>

“You’re such a hard worker, Tigerson,” I said. “I know the shop’s in good hands with you around.”

<Rwar!>

His “okay” growl was very convincing, but at least one person remained opposed to my trip. My sister Alice pulled a face and furiously smacked the table.

“I’m vehemently against it! I just know Gillan will be a bad influence on you!”

When Gillan lived at home, he had been a massive troublemaker. He had a pretty face and was always making passes at women. One time, several of his girlfriends showed up at the same time and started a fight. More than once, he’d stolen someone’s girlfriend and gotten himself beaten up. I’d tried to intervene once and received a punch in the face for my trouble.

“Uh, I did consider it might be a bad idea.”

“I think that would be the right decision,” said Alice. “You should spend the rest of your summer here, where you belong.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “But it is my summer break. And I would like to see what Gillan’s been up to.”

“Ugh!”

I knew it upset Alice, but letters from Gillan were so rare. I had a feeling he wanted to ask me something in person. And it wasn’t like my memories of him were all bad. I couldn’t just abandon him.

Still mulling it over, I readied my sword and headed to Odin, my guild. I needed to get some proper adventuring done. The moment I entered the guild hall, I noticed Emma talking with two men. That was unusual. Did she know them? It certainly didn’t seem like it.

“Like I said, I’m already in a party.”

“All right, why don’t you go shopping with us tomorrow then?” one of the men asked. “I know how we look, but we’re pretty loaded. We could buy you some nice clothes.”

“Yeah,” the other agreed. “We got more than enough.”

Emma poked her cheek. She always did that when she felt stressed, so I moved to intercept. I gave her a hug and said I’d been looking for her.

“Like I said,” she told the two men. “I’m already with somebody.”

“Tsk.”

The men clicked their tongues in frustration and left the guild hall.

“Popular as ever, I see,” I said.

“They just wouldn’t lay off. It’s such a pain! You have good timing, Noir. Were you watching over me this whole time?”

“What am I, a stalker?”

“Eh he he! More importantly, you need some LP.”

For a moment, I thought she was about to kiss me in front of all these people. I almost panicked, but I should have known that Emma wasn’t so bold. Instead, she gave me a long, passionate hug. It wasn’t much, but it did earn me some LP.

“Okay, okay, this really isn’t the place for—”

Before I could finish, Lola tore us apart with brute strength. She was my managing receptionist at the guild, and I’d always had the feeling she was strong. Even so, she surprised me. If she wanted to, she could totally make it as an adventurer.

“Hey,” Emma complained. “Things were just getting good.”

“Well, as much as I’d like to hug Mr. Noir, I have work to do. Some of us have to make do with daydreaming about it.” Lola took my arm and sat me down on her side of the counter, next to where she worked. “You know, I have the perfect request for you. You really do have impeccable timing, Mr. Noir.”

“Ah ha ha…wouldn’t this make more sense if I faced you?”

“This is fine,” Lola whispered, right in my ear.

Obviously, I appreciated the sentiment, but we were attracting a lot of attention. Lola was on the job, but this was very much like her. Not only was her standing among the other receptionists improving, she had taken first place in the chart on the wall.

The request in question was to capture a speed turtle. I’d heard they were quick and fiendishly hard to catch.

“Just one of them will score you three hundred thousand rels,” said Lola. “Sounds like the client really wants one.”

“They look kind of like green turtles, right?” Emma asked. “And they live in the river?”

“Yes. They may be small, but they’re ferocious. There are probably large monsters in the area too, so be careful.”

Emma seemed excited, so I accepted the job.

“You can do it,” Lola said. “I believe in you. And, you know, I have a long vacation coming up. I’d love to go somewhere with you, Mr. Noir.”

She smiled like a cat. I knew right away what she was after, so I invited her along to visit Gillan. I mean, she always did so much for me. And besides, the more the merrier, right?

When I asked her, Lola clapped her hands for joy. “Mr. Noir, if you invited me, I’d join you on a trip to hell!”

I was glad she was coming, but Emma seemed annoyed as we walked down to the river, kicking pebbles as we went.

“You know,” she said. “You didn’t have to invite her. Lola isn’t that strong. It could be dangerous.”

“True, but she’s really smart. She probably knows the weak points of monsters we’ve never even heard of.”

“I wanted to go on a trip just the two of us…”

“Oh, don’t pout,” I said. “Come here.”

I took Emma by the hand and pulled her into an alleyway. It was cramped and dark, but a good place for kissing. When we were finished, her bad mood had vanished.

***

With Emma’s mood improved, the two of us headed out of town.

Tell me, Great Sage, where are the nearest speed turtles?

Perfect!

“You know where to find them already?”

“The Great Sage is very helpful. Let’s get going before someone else grabs them.”

We followed the Great Sage’s advice and headed to the river. The water was shallow and clear, though we encountered a pair of monsters on the shore, probably looking for fish. They were bear-like creatures called dark ursi. Not only smart, but huge. Worse, they immediately noticed us.

“What do we do, Noir?”

“What else can we do? We’ve gotta take them out if we wanna find those turtles.”

“They look like they’re together, though,” Emma said. “I feel kinda bad ruining a fellow couple’s day.”

“We’re, uh, not a couple,” I told her. “Just for the record.”

“We’ll take them out together! Yeah!”

Unfortunately, my little correction didn’t seem to register. Emma grabbed her daggers and I drew my blade. Then the dark ursi charged. My first priority was dodging their attack, but—

“Hah! Hiyah!”

Emma countered with a slash, then fired several Wind Strikes at her opponent. She finished by driving her knives into the creature’s eyes. She really had gotten stronger, but I didn’t have time to admire her.

“Grrrr!”

The monster’s long claws flashed toward me and I countered with an Iceball the size of my head. It shrieked as the Iceball froze the flesh where it touched, turning it white. I hadn’t fully frozen the creature, but it was having difficulty moving. I sliced its head in two to finish it off. Its skull was thick, but my blade had a Sharp Edge. There was no contest.

“Yay!”

Emma and I high-fived in celebration.

“Hey,” she said. “Do you think we could sell their parts?”

“Bear paws are pretty delicious,” I agreed. “Although I hear the cooking process is super involved.”

“That sounds perfect! It’ll earn you some more LP too!”

I’d already gotten LP from eating bear paw, but maybe a monster would be worth more? We worked together to harvest four of the paws, and I put them in my Pocket Dimension. It may have only been C-Grade, but there was plenty of space.

Now the real question was who we could get to cook it.

“Huh?! Noir!” Emma said. “This is no time to be sitting there thinking with your stomach!”

“Oh, right, the speed turtle. We better get that—wait. Who goes there?!”

A group of four adventurers were stomping through the river. They were obviously looking for something.

“Excuse me?” Emma asked. “What are you doing?”

“Huh? Don’t talk to u—ooh, aren’t we a beauty?”

Yet another man had fallen for Emma after a single glance. Still, there was something more pressing about this encounter. I knew one of the people in this group.

“Leila?!”

“Noir? What are you doing here?”

Leila was a striking foreign exchange student with long, golden hair. She was currently attending the same Hero Academy we did. Although she was in the class below us, Leila excelled at hand-to-hand combat—so much so that I’d asked her to train me.

“Are you looking for something?” I asked.

“Yeah,” said Leila. “We got a request to exterminate monsters and catch a speed turtle, so we formed an impromptu party. We finished with the monsters already, so now we’re looking for a turtle.”

This was bad. Not only were we after the same turtle, but these guys were in Lahmu, Odin’s rival guild.

“What guild are you two from?” asked a young man with a shaved head.

Guess I couldn’t avoid talking about it. He was glaring at me, so I answered honestly. The second they heard we were in Odin, the other members of Leila’s party turned hostile.

“What are you brats here for? Fishing?”

“We’re looking for a speed turtle,” I said, mentally asking the Great Sage for the precise location of the nearest one.

It was so close! If we didn’t do something soon, they would find it first.

“There’s no way I’ll let you beat us,” said the boy with the shaved head, narrowing his eyes.

“Emma…we’d better get looking,” I said. I lowered my voice and whispered in her ear. “There’s one just over there.”

Before the other adventurers could do anything, we waded into the water and tried to surround it. We counted down silently, then shot our hands down into the water, but it was small and fast and it slipped out our hands.

“I don’t know if this is going to work,” I said.

“Just leave it to me!”

Emma gave chase. She’d always been good in the water. She moved through it like air. No matter how fast the turtle was, Emma was faster. She caught it by the shell and pulled it out of the water.

“I did it!”

“Nice job! Now put it in here.”

I took out the cage we’d bought in town earlier, and Emma put the turtle inside. After all, we had to find a way to take it back to the guild hall.

As we waded out of the river, Emma bent down to wring out her skirts. Right away, I could sense the Lahmu adventurers staring at her thighs. I stood in front of her to block their line of sight.

“You bastard! Wait!” one of them shouted.

“We got here first,” said another. “If you run off with that turtle, doesn’t that make you a thief?”

“That’s not a very compelling argument,” I said.

They were probably just mad because I’d ruined their fun.

“Shut up!” said the guy with the shaved head. “Hand over that turtle.”

Talk about pushy. Sure, we were in rival guilds, but there was no need for violence. Leila was the only one with any common sense.

“Noir’s party caught that turtle fair and square,” she said. “We should go look somewhere else.”

“Whose side are you on?” asked the shaven-headed man.

“Don’t change the subject.”

“Oh, come on,” he said, gesturing to me. “It’s obvious you know each other, but you’re in our party now. And besides, you’re Lahmu, and you’re siding with some Odin jerk? Do you want people to start talking?”

“No, I…”

He had her cornered. If rumors like that started to spread, Leila would never find another party. It wasn’t fair, and that irritated me.

“I know where the turtles are,” I said. “If I tell you where to find one, will you drop it?”

“Who cares about the damn turtles?” he said. “I want to fight. If I win, that girl of yours is joining Lahmu.”

What were they after? I mean, obviously they wanted Emma, but why try and fight me for her?

“What’s in it for me?” I asked.

The guy with the shaved head glared at me, then tossed a bag of coins onto the ground.

“All our money. All of it. You three, throw yours in too.”

“Hey! Where do you get off betting our money without asking?” Leila said.

“Shut up!” shouted the guy, rounding on her. “I’m the leader. If we take her, it’ll weaken Odin, duh!”

If that’s what you’re after, you should take me instead.

It seemed to work, though. The other members of his party reluctantly added their purses to the pot.

“Let’s do this,” he said, squaring off against me. “Man to man.”

It all seemed a little silly, but then again, it didn’t look like I had much choice.

“What do you think?” I asked Emma.

“Go for it,” she said. “I know you’d never lose to some stupid, selfish jerk like that.”

“St-stupid, selfish jerk?!” he stammered.

Well, he was selfish. No question about that. I straightened up and gripped my sword. He was more muscular than me, but his sword had less reach, and besides, I didn’t feel particularly threatened.

“All you really want is to be in a party with Emma,” I said. “Isn’t that right?”

“I do, and I want her to date m—wait! No! Of course not!”

Ha ha, busted! Time to see what he was really made of.

Name: Togaro Tous

Age: 21

Species: Human

Level: 54

Occupation: Adventurer

Skills: One-Handed Swordsmanship (Grade C); Throwing (Grade B); Improved Back Step; Stone Bullet

Given how big he talked, I expected him to be a pushover, but he was actually pretty strong—even if he wasn’t even half my level. Still, best not to go into this thinking it would be easy. With that high-level Throwing skill, he might have something up his sleeve.

“The rules are simple,” Togaro said. “We fight until one of us surrenders or gets knocked out. We don’t fight to the death, but, other than that, anything goes.”

No restrictions on weapons either. He really could try to throw something.

With that, he gave the signal, and our blades clashed. I didn’t have a swordsmanship skill, but I held him off with no trouble. Looked like I had more raw power too.

“You aren’t half-bad for a scrawny pipsqueak.”

“I’m not?” I said. “Oh, well you’re wide open.”

I slashed, and Togaro backstepped away. He kept his balance pretty well. Now that he was a few paces away, I waited for him to use a ranged attack.

“Eat this!”

Right on cue. He stretched out his hand and fired a Stone Bullet toward me. I responded in kind with a much larger projectile. It knocked his away easily, then hit him square in the shoulder.

“Oww?! B-but how? Why was it that big?”

“My Stone Bullet skill is just a little special, that’s all.”

I had Editor to thank for that.

Togaro used his uninjured hand to pull out some hidden throwing knives, and I countered by pulling the Shield of Champions out of my Pocket Dimension. It had everything I could possibly need: Durable, A-Grade Fire Resistance, A-Grade Water Resistance, and A-Grade Wind Resistance. It deflected his knives with ease.

“You even have a Pocket Dimension?”

“Do you surrender, Togaro?” I asked.

“You…you know my name? So you have Discerning Eye too?”

“I’ll take that as a ‘no.’”

I readied my shield and charged. He had no chance. He was already completely off-balance.

“Gah?!”

That Durable must’ve made it especially painful. Togaro fell dramatically, gritting his teeth. When he hit the ground, I pointed my sword at his head.

“I could end you at any moment, you know.”

“F-fine,” he growled. “Let’s call it a draw.”

“Really?” I asked. “It’d just take one little swing.”

I demonstrated, stopping just before my blade reached his face. Togaro winced. I wasn’t going to kill him. If nothing else, it was against the rules, and I wasn’t about to lose either way. But Togaro didn’t know me. He had no way to be sure.

“Do you give up?” I asked again.

“Fine! I…I surrender…”

“Guess that means I win,” I said, reaching for the coin purses. “I’ll be taking these.”

They were all pretty heavy with coin. The party had been working hard. I stowed three of them away and returned the last to Leila.

“That belongs to you now, Noir,” she said.

“All right,” I said. “Then I guess I can do whatever I want with it, right? There’s no reason I can’t give it back to you of my free will.”

“I… Thank you,” she said. “I’ll stop by again when I have some free time.”

“I can’t wait.”

For good measure, I asked the Great Sage for the location of another turtle and told Leila where to find it. Then I turned to leave with Emma, but Togaro had other ideas.

“I just have one thing I wanna say to you,” he said, stumbling past me to stand in front of Emma.

I couldn’t tell if he was nervous or if he was panting from physical strain. He didn’t even seem to notice how put off Emma looked.

“Please,” he begged. “Will you go out with me?!”

Somehow, I’d seen that coming.

Emma pointed right at my face.

“Dye your hair brown,” she told Togaro. “And grow it out. Then change your face to look just like his. Do something about your height, and behave just like the third son of the Stardia family. After that? Sure, I’ll date you.”

“Emma,” I said. “I’m flattered, but—agh, my head…”

It seemed I’d asked the Great Sage too many questions again. I did have Headache Immunity, but that had limits. Fortunately, Emma instantly guessed what was wrong. She pulled me close and kissed me with all her might. It did cure my headache, but we ended up kissing for almost a full minute in front of the others.

Togaro’s mouth hung agape. One of his comrades even had to help him away. The others all left with him. Leila’s face was bright red.

“Does your head feel better?” Emma asked.

“Yeah, it does. I appreciate the help, but couldn’t we have done that somewhere a little less, er, public?”

I could feel my cheeks burning already, but Emma seemed unfazed.

“Maybe.” She shrugged. “But this way I cured your headache and made that guy lay off—two birds with one stone!”

So it was calculated? I hadn’t thought Emma was so mature. It got me hot under the collar.

With the other adventurers long gone, we headed back to the guild with our speed turtle. Emma and I split the reward, and I asked Lola if she knew of anyone who could cook the dark ursus paws.

“There’s a good cook under my management,” she said. “Want me to ask?”

“If you wouldn’t mind.”

“Oh,” she said. “I never mind helping you, Mr. Noir.”

Once we’d handed the paws over to Lola, I said goodbye to Emma and headed to the temple where Luna worked. The burn from the magmafish wasn’t serious, but if Luna could heal it, I wouldn’t have to worry about wound care.

As always, hundreds of people were lined up outside the temple. From the look of the crowd, they were a mixture of the sick and injured, along with Luna’s own personal fan club. Honestly, I admired her for her work as much as they did. I ended up waiting for about an hour before it was my turn.

“Sir Noir!”

“Looks like you’ve been hard at work again today,” I said. “Think you could take a look at me?”

“Where are you hurt? I promise I’ll heal you.”

“Right here.”

“Healing Shot! Extra power!”

Luna was skilled with her magical firearm, firing off attacks that healed instead of harmed.

As the shot hit my injured hand, everything suddenly felt pleasant and warm. It was like the burn was never even there.

“That’s my Luna!” I said, delighted.

“It’s nothing, really. You know you can always come to me. Anyway, I’m just about done with work, so why don’t we walk home together?”

I didn’t have anything in particular planned, so we headed off. We attracted a fair bit of attention walking side by side. As we went, I asked about her plans for the rest of the week.

“I’ll be working at the temple again tomorrow. I wish I could do more with you and the others, but…”

“You’re busy,” I said, “I get it. So would a trip out of the country be out of the question?”

“A trip?”

I explained about Gillan and how Emma, Lola, and I were going to visit Honest. Surprisingly, Luna seemed interested.

“I’m going too!” she said. “I need a break anyway. Yeah.”

She was positively buzzing with excitement. It was pretty adorable. With everything that Luna had to deal with, she was probably complete stressed out. Working day in and day out really had to wear on her nerves. Well, if I could help her get the break she desperately needed, then I was only too happy to do so.

“I was planning to finish work early tomorrow afternoon,” she said. “Do you have some free time?”

“I do.”

“Then I have somewhere I’d like to go with you. Do you mind if I pick you up at home?”

“Of course not,” I said.

I was a little confused, but Luna wouldn’t tell me where she wanted to go. Still, she was excited about it—so excited that she even made me pinky promise, like a kid.