Chapter 2: Setting Off

Chapter 2:
Setting Off

 

THE NEXT MORNING, there was no one in the house, so I spent all morning in bed. Just before noon, I went down to the kitchen for some bread, when I heard Leila knock at the door.

“Hi, Noir. I had some free time, so I thought I’d stop by.”

“Please, come in.”

She hadn’t eaten lunch yet, so I offered her a seat at the table.

“Um, is this all you’re having?” Leila asked, making a weird face.

I looked down at the bread. “We’re more comfortable now than before, but old habits die hard. We used to be quite poor.”

When things were at their worst, lunch was always tasteless soup, if you could even call it soup. I’m pretty sure it was mostly hot water. Thanks, father!

“I could make you something,” said Leila, “if you like.”

“Are you sure?” I asked. “Only if you don’t mind.”

Leila took one look at what we had and got to work. She didn’t seem to want my help, so I went into the yard to train. I reviewed defensive stances she’d taught me last time, as well as how to throw punches and whatnot.

“It’s ready.”

Heading back in, I found a beef stir-fry and some egg dishes lined up on the table.

“It looks delicious!”

“Eat up.”

I gobbled up every last bite. In fact, I ate so fast my throat hurt. I’m sure everyone’s done that at least once in their life, right? It felt wrong to even think it, but her cooking was probably even better than my mother’s!

“Heh,” Leila said. “I’m glad you liked it.”

“It was delicious. Also, um, sorry about yesterday. Did those guys give you crap afterwards?”

“It’s fine. I’m the one who should be apologizing. I should’ve stopped Togaro.”

She didn’t have anything to apologize for, but her expression darkened all the same. I’d seen her like this before, during the Phantom incident. Was she not fitting in at Lahmu?

“You know,” I said. “If it isn’t working out for you, you could join Odin.”

“Th-thanks,” Leila said. “But I don’t think I can just leave and join a rival guild. I wanna keep trying.”

It wasn’t impossible. Sometimes, people left one guild to join another, even a bitter rival. Admittedly, it usually ended up with them being branded a traitor and earning the wrath of their old guild. Right then, I decided that, if it came to that, I would help Leila in any way I could.

With lunch finished, we went out into the yard to work up a sweat. We’d settled on practicing approaches and locks.

“Excuse me?” a voice called after we’d been training a while. “Are you in, Sir Noir?”

“Oh, Luna, come in.”

Luna walked into the yard and raised an eyebrow at Leila and me.

“You’re not alone.”

“Am I being a bother?” Leila asked.

“Oh,” said Luna. “No! But, I mean—not exactly, um—you’re not a bother.”

“So…I am?” Leila asked.

“It’s a joke,” Luna insisted. “But I was hoping, well, expecting to be alone with Sir Noir. No matter. Would you care to join us, Lady Leila?”

“Sounds fun. I think I will.”

Great! I mean, the more the merrier! We left the house and walked into town. As I followed behind Luna, I couldn’t help wondering why she was carrying two shovels. I tried to ask, but she wouldn’t answer.

“Well, look at you!” the gate guards teased as we left town. “Being protected by a pair of beautiful ladies!”

That really was how it looked. I mean, I’d gotten much stronger, but I looked as weak as ever.

We kept walking and soon arrived at the small wood that Luna had in mind. It was a fairly dangerous area, known to be full of monsters. Luna had to know about those, right?

“A man who comes to the temple every day told me about this place,” she said. “He says there’s treasure in these woods!”

Luna seemed excited, but that information didn’t exactly sound reliable. These woods were often full of adventurers. If anything was ever there, they would have found it already. But before I could say anything, Luna noticed my expression.

“Don’t you worry—it’s not easy to find. I heard that the late, great Olivia is the one who hid it here!”

My master had done this?! If that was true, the treasure was probably pretty impressive, but she’d never mentioned anything to me. I tried suggesting it might just be a rumor, but by this point, even Leila was excited.

“I’ve heard a story like that, even in my homeland. That Olivia hid a treasure chest somewhere near your town.”

Apparently Olivia was famous everywhere. Still, given her personality, it wouldn’t have surprised me to learn she’d just started a rumor because she was bored.

“My intuition is telling me it’s buried somewhere,” said Luna. “Let’s all look for it.”

“Hang on,” I said. “We can’t just start digging random holes. We’ll be here forever!”

“It’s not random,” said Luna. “Let me explain. There are a lot of monsters around here, right? So if someone hid treasure here, they’d have to pick a spot they could easily reach and escape from if they were attacked. That leaves us with two options: inside a tree or underground. Common sense dictates that underground is the more likely option.”

Hence the shovels, I suppose.

Honestly, it would have been easier to ask Olivia directly. But then, there was a good chance she’d forgotten where she’d hidden it, assuming it was real, or even forgotten it was there. And besides, this did seem fun, so I decided to play along.

After that, we spent about two hours digging. Thanks to my Excavate skill, I managed to dig out six large holes, but we found no sign of treasure.

“Grr! Grrr!”

Suddenly, a monster hound showed up. It was much larger than a regular dog and covered in bristly hair, but one of its most notable characteristics was the perpetual drool hanging from its mouth.

“Please!” Luna shouted. “Leave us alone!”

When it didn’t back off, she fired off a few shots from her magical firearm, killing it instantly. But there were more of them. Suddenly, the dogs were everywhere. This time, Leila rushed in. Her magic-imbued fists sent the dogs flying.

“Energy Shot!”

Luna backed her up with powerful projectiles, blowing the dogs’ heads clean off.

I was both impressed and terrified, and I made a mental note never to upset either of them.

The monsters were no great threat, so we kept digging after that. It was just starting to get dark when the tip of my shovel hit something hard.

“Wait, it can’t be.”

It was. There was definitely something there. It was covered in dirt, but it was a proper treasure chest!

“I knew you’d find it, Sir Noir!” said Luna.

“Wow! I can’t believe it,” Leila agreed. “Could this really be Olivia’s treasure chest?”

The two of them were uncharacteristically excited—holding hands and jumping up and down. Even I could feel my heart thumping against the inside of my ribs. My hands shook. Slowly, I reached out for the chest. It didn’t seem to be locked, and we all peered down in anticipation at the sparkling gold and silver within—which was nowhere to be found.

“Is that…women’s underwear?” I asked.

Why would anyone put that in a treasure chest? If Olivia really was responsible, this stuff had been here for over two hundred years. And yet, the titillating purple bra and panties showed no signs of wear. I checked with my Discerning Eye, and found they had an Anti-Aging skill applied to them.

What a stupid waste of LP, master…

There was a letter with them too:

Advice from Olivia: If you are a woman, put these on and go after that man you have your eye on. You’ll probably get what you want. If you’re a man, put these on your head and parade around town!

“Is she trying to get someone arrested?!” I groaned.

It really did sound just like her.

“U-um, Noir?” Leila asked. “Do these have some kind of special skill on them?”

“No, just Anti-Aging.”

“Oh. Then, do you mind if I take them?”

What? Why would you need those?

Leila reached out for them, but Luna smacked her hand away.

“I want them! And don’t think you can pull one over on me.”

“Aren’t you a cleric, Luna?” Leila asked. “Are you even allowed to wear something like these?”

“Hmph, of course I am. God would totally allow it. But I’m taking them for safe-keeping.”

“Then let me take one-half.”

Luna grabbed the panties and Leila took the bra. Both of them were utterly beside themselves.

“Why are you both so excited about this?” I asked.

“Are you kidding?” said Leila. “Just the fact that these are Olivia’s undergarments makes them valuable.”

They also both seemed pretty stoked about the whole “getting the guy you like” part.

“Well, now that we’ve got the ‘treasure,’ let’s go home.”

At least they both seemed happy. Who was I to take that happiness away from them?

When we got back to town, Luna gave me a long hug as a thank you.

“You need to earn LP, don’t you?” Leila asked. “Let me help. I mean, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course I don’t.”

And so Leila hugged me too. I stored the LP away for when I’d need it and took the opportunity to invite Leila on the trip.

“I’d love to come!” she said, grinning at me in the moonlight.

We talked out there for quite some time before going our separate ways.

 

***

 

The next day, I had something I wanted to ask Ms. Elena, so I went to school for the first time in ages. I went to the teacher’s lounge first, and sure enough I found her there with her feet up on a desk, cracking her shoulders. As always, she seemed horribly stiff. When she saw me, her face lit up. She’d spotted her prey.

“Oh, did you miss me?” she asked.

“I just had a question, that’s all.”

“Perfect! Ask away! But in return…”

“Yeah, I know.”

She was the reason I’d picked up the Shoulder Rub skill, after all. I set about working on the knots in Ms. Elena’s shoulders, and she made a lot of unseemly sounds, kind of like an old man.

“So, what did you wanna ask me?” she said. “Lemme guess, you wanna know my measurements—”

“Pretty sure no one’s cared about those in decades.”

“Oh, shut your mouth. Don’t say things like that.”

She had to be feeling the pressure. A lot of people in our country were already married by twenty-four.

“Will you take me if no one else does?” she asked.

I wasn’t sure if she was being serious, so I did a magnificent job of ignoring her.

“Have you ever been to the town of Honest?” I asked.

“Of course. The one in Rosette, right?”

I’d known she was the right person to ask. After all, she was an ex-mercenary. The Kingdom of Rosette was our closest neighboring country. I explained my plans and asked what she thought about the area.

“It’s a pretty average kingdom,” she said. “Education is very important there, so there are schools for all sorts of things: mages, soldiers, merchants, knights, and so on. They even have a special one just for oracles.”

“Can you think of anything I should watch out for?” I asked.

“Only if you put your back into it.”

I obliged, rubbing and drumming her shoulders with more force whilst she let out moans of delight. As her mood improved, Ms. Elena told me all about Honest.

Firstly, there were more monsters than usual in the area. Second, roughly once every ten years, a massive horde of them attacked the town. Lastly, the whole town was full of shallow playboys.

“Why do the monsters attack every ten years?”

I had to wonder if there was a dungeon in the area. Of course, it wouldn’t be anything like the hidden dungeon, but it was useful to know. I was also a little worried.

“No idea. It didn’t happen while I was stationed there. Men tried to attack me, though.”

“Wow,” I said. “They must’ve had a death wish.”

“Yeah, I nearly killed them. That town is notorious for sex crime. You’re almost twice as likely to be assaulted there, so be careful.”

“But I’m a man.”

“Men get targeted too. Especially cute boys like you.”

It didn’t sound like she was joking, so I took her warning seriously.

When I finished the massage, she gave me a hug as a thank you.

“I’m kind of jealous of how strong you’ve become,” she said.

“Call me any time your shoulders are giving you trouble.”

“I will. I know you’re more than capable of handling yourself, but take care on your trip.”

“Thanks.”

It was definitely the right decision to talk to her.

I headed straight from school to the guild hall to ask how the bear paw situation was going.

“You have absolutely perfect timing!” Lola said. “I was just thinking about calling you, Mr. Noir.”

Lola introduced me to another adventurer. He looked to be in his thirties, with a beard and a tan. She said his name was Enol.

“So,” he said, “you’re Noir. I cooked those bear paws for you.”

“Thank you for helping me,” I said. “You didn’t have to.”

“Oh, it’s nothing. I just can’t say no to sweet little Lola. Just a sec.”

Enol brought out a big plate with four bear paws. The black, hairless skin was kind of grotesque, but they were covered with a special sauce. Either way, I couldn’t exactly refuse when he told me to try it, so I steeled myself and took a bite. It was incredible! The combination of elegant seasoning and decadent fat was delicious. The meat kind of resembled pork, but it felt like the sauce was doing a lot of the heavy lifting. I had to ask what it was.

“Sorry,” Enol said. “I can’t share that. It’s a trade secret.”

“Figures. It must’ve been hard to get all that fur off.”

“Not really. I’ve got a special skill for it.”

I was curious, so I used my Discerning Eye.

 

Name: Quatre Nadon

Age: 29

Species: Human

Level: 48

Occupation: Chef; Adventurer

Skills: Spearmanship (Grade B); Target Weak Points; Butchering

 

Either he had a restaurant on the side, or he made most of his money as a chef. And Butchering, huh? I checked it out with Editor.

 

Butchering: Improves the user’s ability to butcher and dismantle creatures, including removing blood.

 

How handy! It seemed useful for butchering monsters for parts to take home, and it was only 400 LP, so I went ahead and got it—hold up. Wasn’t his name Enol?

“He’s using a fake name,” I whispered to Lola.

“Nothing gets past you, Noir. He’s on the run from debtors, so he’s been using a pseudonym.”

“O-oh…”

“His face is fake too,” she said. “I introduced him to a surgeon.”

So that was why he couldn’t say no to Lola: he was hiding from someone, and she’d helped him. The world really was a harsh place. There were probably a lot of people like him in the guild.

“Everyone carries some darkness they can’t talk about,” Lola said. “But it’s made me an excellent judge of character!”

I’d been so distracted that I only realized then that the dark ursus paw got me 900 LP! I was up 500 LP even after acquiring the Butchering skill. I felt bad keeping the rest of the meal to myself, so I offered it to Lola and the other adventurers.

“Thank you, Noir! I appreciate it.”

“Dig in!”

It was nice to do this sometimes. After all, no matter how strong you get, you can’t survive all by yourself. Even just getting information from the people in your network can prove critical. In the end, I saved a piece for Emma and said my goodbyes to Lola.

“I was thinking about leaving for Honest the day after tomorrow,” I told her. “Does that work for you?”

“I’m ready any time. I can’t wait.”

Great! And I’d already talked to Leila and Luna, so Emma was the only one left.

When I went to her house, her mother greeted me at the door and told me that Emma was in the yard with her coach.

“I think she wants to try to keep up with you as best she can. Please, come in.”

“Thank you.”

From the living room window, I could see Emma sparring in the backyard with her instructor. The other woman was over Level 100, but Emma was trying her hardest. She was drenched in sweat, and it seemed best not to interrupt them.

“Could you give this to Emma?” I asked, handing over the bear paw. “And let her know I’m leaving for the trip the day after tomorrow.”

“You always take such good care of her.”

“Oh, I think she’s usually the one taking care of me!” I said.

With that settled, I headed out.

It seemed that was how Emma was getting so much stronger—she was training hard. I didn’t really understand, though. After all, if she wanted a skill, she could always have just asked me for it.

 

***

 

Finally, the day of our trip arrived. I awoke to the sound of birds chirping, but I was a little surprised to find Alice in my bed.

“When did you get here?”

“Last night,” she said. “I couldn’t sleep, so I came in here. You were sleep-talking and asked me to sleep in with you.”

Well, that was definitely a lie! But I was worried about how unhappy she sounded.

“I won’t see you for a while, brother dearest,” she said. “Why won’t you take me with you?”

“You have to go to school over summer break, right?” I said. “Plus, you didn’t sound like you wanted to come.”

“Well, no, but…I just think going to see Gillan is a waste of time…a waste of your precious time on this planet…”

What had Gillan done to upset her so much? I would have to talk to him about that when we met.

We got up, and Alice gave me a hug. I appreciated the LP but couldn’t help but notice how tired she looked.

“You have bags under your eyes. Did you not sleep well?”

“I got distracted counting your pores,” she said. “And then it was morning…”

Did I really have so many pores? No! No, everyone has lots of them, right?

I headed down to the living room where my parents were checking my bags. Fortunately, it seemed like I had everything I needed.

<You’re up quite late,> said Tigerson. <Shouldn’t you be going?>

“Oh crap, what time is it?!”

<It’s only ten minutes before you are meant to leave.>

“Dammit! Alice, why didn’t you wake me?”

Alice scuffed her feet. “Sorry.”

She probably just didn’t want me to go.

I said my goodbyes and took my bags from my father.

“Noir, the coach should be at the gate soon,” he said. “Take care.”

“Thanks for making the travel arrangements for me.”

“If Gillan’s causing trouble,” he said, “tell him I’m cutting him off!”

“Got it. You stay out of trouble too!”

“I never cause trouble! Ah ha ha ha!”

He seemed very relaxed. That always made me suspicious, but there was no time to worry about his shenanigans now. I stuffed some bread in my mouth and headed for the door, but Alice chased after me, grabbing my hand.

“Please be careful,” she begged, staring up at me. “I will keep the house safe while I wait for your return, brother dearest.”

“Well, that puts my mind at ease.”

“Also,” she said, “if you’re running with bread in your mouth, then watch where you’re going—especially around corners. Or you’ll get distracted and smack into some pretty lady.”

That seemed very specific! Before I could ask her about it, Alice went on.

“And then some weird romance might start—so please, be super careful.”

“Ha ha ha, yeah, sure,” I said.

I mean, what else could I say? Like that would ever happen!

I chuckled as I left home, but I was also short on time. I had to hurry. It was pretty hard to run with bread in my mouth, and I slowed down as I approached a corner, just to be careful.

“Look out! I’m late! I’m late!”

Look out?! A girl swung around the corner right in front of me. She had bread in her mouth, just like me. As she rounded the corner, she tripped over thin air and tumbled toward me.

“Eep! Owwie!”

She ended up on all fours. She was wearing a miniskirt, and I got an eyeful of her blue underwear. My Lucky Letcher skill was at it again.

“Oh, this is just the worst!” she complained. “I have to hurry. Five-second rule!”

She got up, collected her fallen bread, and shoved it back in her mouth. Then she set off running again.

Five-second rule? Is food really still good to eat if it’s been on the floor for that long?

Regardless, Alice’s prediction had come true. I took extra care around corners the rest of the way.

When I got to the gate, Emma, Lola, Luna, and Leila were already waiting.

“Sorry I’m late.”

“Morning, Noir. Looks like the coach is already here.”

“Guess we should get going.”

We greeted the coachman, then loaded up our bags and climbed on board.

It was time to go to Honest!