Chapter 6: The Little Person and the Copy

The Hidden Dungeon Only I Can Enter — LNCrawler · All chapters

Chapter 6:
The Little Person and the Copy

I HAD ONE MORE FLOOR to go before I reached the fifteenth, but I was sure that things would only get harder. I had to focus on making myself stronger. After class the next day, I went to the teachers’ lounge to speak with Ms. Elena.

“Is there some sort of super-strong, all-purpose skill? Something you would want?”

Ms. Elena crossed her legs and drummed her chin with her fingers. There was something sexy about how she did that.

“I get the idea you’re someone who can get things done, even if you’re not particularly adept at them,” she said. “A sort of jack of all trades, master of none.”

Oof! Straight through the heart!

I guess she was just trying to say I was an all-rounder, but “master of none” was hardly flattering, was it?

I started to think about whether I should start using Get Creative to specialize, but Ms. Elena had another suggestion.

“Don’t try to force yourself to become something you aren’t,” she said. “For now, I think some kind of sword skill would suit you best. Like how your friend Leila has Demon Fist.”

That skill was exceptionally powerful. Leila could use it to take out weaker monsters in one shot. Since I generally used a sword, maybe Ms. Elena was right. Was there something that would do the same thing for swordsmen?

“Have you ever fought anyone who used a sword who you found especially difficult to defeat?” I asked.

She must have thought of someone that she didn’t like, because she grimaced. “I once fought someone with a great dodge and an extremely powerful slash attack. We were interrupted before we could finish our fight, but I don’t think I would have won.”

Someone who could drive Ms. Elena into a corner? That sounded promising. I asked her about the skills she mentioned, already determined to acquire them.

Willowy Dodge — 800 LP

Power Slash — 1,000 LP

Looking into them, Willowy Dodge required a high level of concentration and could fail in specific situations, while Power Slash boosted your offensive power and speed with a blade but at greatly increased stamina cost. What’s more, the movement itself was rather expansive, so I’d be leaving myself open to attack. Timing and judgment would be critical.

I wanted to pick up some midrange skills, but those two would do for now. After all, I needed to do some more training in the dungeon.

Today, however, I had some adventuring work with Emma and Luna. They were likely already at the guild hall, so I headed out. When I reached the school gates, I found Leila waiting for me.

“I wanted to thank you again for yesterday,” she said. “Is there anything I can help with?”

“I mean, we’re going to pick up a quest and hunt some monsters,” I said. “But I’m not sure if your guild would be happy if you joined us.”

Leila shook her head. “No. I think it will be fine. I’ll help.”

With that decided, we headed to the Odin guild hall. It wasn’t a good idea for Leila to come inside, so I headed in alone. I soon found Emma and Luna and headed toward them to explain the situation, but something seemed off. Even Lola looked flustered.

“Emma, did something happen?” I asked.

“Yes! It’s really bad! A little girl was kidnapped just outside town by goblin thieves!”

That was really bad. Goblin thieves did abduct children for food from time to time, and it generally didn’t take long for them to tuck in. We were officially in a race against time. Fortunately, the request had only just come in. Her parents were even still in the guild hall—the mother was crying, and the father was trying to comfort her. Apparently, the girl had only been taken half an hour ago, at the foot of the mountain near town.

“We’ll do it,” I told Lola.

After all, most of the other adventurers were off on other requests.

“Of course. I expected nothing else of you, Mr. Noir.”

If I had Emma and Luna with me, I figured I could handle it.

The girl’s father bowed his head to us. “Please, save my daughter!”

“We will. Can you please tell us her name?”

“Sena Hitaru,” he said. “She’s five years old. She wears her hair in pigtails. Please help!”

We had everything we needed. We headed out of the guild hall and explained the situation to Leila.

“I’ll help you,” she said.

I didn’t argue with her. I’d never fought goblin thieves before, but I’d heard they could be troublesome. It would be better to have her with us. The four of us hurried together to the mountain where the girl had been abducted.

Great Sage, where is the girl, Sena Hitaru, who was taken by goblin thieves?

Now that we knew exactly where she was, all we had to do was come up with a plan. Unfortunately, none of us had any experience fighting these kinds of monsters.

“I’ve heard they steal all sorts of things.”

“Yeah, me too. Apparently, they take weapons and even skills!”

“They must have some kind of special skill to do that.”

“Which means that we can’t drop our guard.”

That made things tricky, but time was of the essence. We hurried in the direction the Great Sage had indicated. But before we got into this, I wanted to check everyone’s current abilities.

Name: Emma Brightness

Level: 68

Skills: Dual Wielded Daggers (Grade A); Wind Strike; Wind Slash; Run Like the Wind

Name: Luna Heela

Level: 74

Skills: Magical Firearms (Grade B);
Energy Shot; Healing Shot; Increased Magic Capacity (Grade A); Fainting Spell; Lift Curse

Name: Leila Overlock

Level: 160

Skills: Boxing (Grade A); Kickboxing (Grade A); Hand-to-Hand Combat (Grade A); Stoneskin; Stealthy Step; Demon Fist

Weapon: Magic Glove (Magic Conductivity)

It looked like everyone had leveled up on our trip, not to mention all the work they’d been putting in. Luna had even increased her magic pool, so she wouldn’t have to worry about passing out unless she really overdid it. Leila’s Hand-to-Hand Combat skill had leveled up too. That was Leila for you. We were in pretty good shape for this!

We slowed our pace as we saw smoke rising in the distance and crept toward the clearing where the goblin thieves were camped. There were eight of them in total—all around five feet tall. They had long, pointed noses like normal goblins, but they also had thick heads of greasy hair. Half of them were unarmed, and the other half had clubs.

The biggest one was probably the group’s leader. I watched closely as it gestured at the other goblins, giving out orders. They had a fire going and were setting up a spit to cook Sena on. I was too far away to use Discerning Eye, but I could hear Sena crying, and we didn’t have time to spare.

“Let’s go!” I shouted, jumping out into the clearing.

The others were right behind me.

“Reeee!”

The goblins snarled and swarmed around us, emanating hostility.

“I’ll get Sena!” Emma shouted.

“Good idea!”

Meanwhile, I focused on taking out the goblins. I drew my sword and charged toward their leader. If I could figure out a way to deal with him, the rest of this would get easier.

“Reeee!”

“Huh?”

My sword disappeared, clean out of my hand! Curiously, it somehow reappeared in the goblin’s hand. What kind of trick was he using?!

Name: Goblin Thief

Level: 53

Skills: Gambler’s Pilfer; Superhuman Strength (Grade B); Jumping (Grade B)

I couldn’t let my guard down. Its stealing ability was clearly a skill.

Gambler’s Pilfer: Consumes magical power to randomly steal a weapon, tool, skill, or memory from a target. Weapons are the most likely steal, whilst memories are the least likely. If the pilfer fails, it consumes a large quantity of magic regardless.

That was terrifying. And risky! If the skill failed, you could easily burn through all your mana and pass out. But goblins weren’t very smart. Did it even realize the danger?! Either way, I needed to get my sword back. I also needed to make sure that everyone else was safe.

Looking around, I saw Emma split the goblin nearest to Sena clean in half with a Wind Slash, while Leila was busy exploding goblin heads, one after another. Meanwhile, Luna had snuck around behind the goblin I was facing.

Bwing!

My double-edged sword went flying.

“Augh?!”

The goblin collapsed to reveal Luna standing behind him. She’d shot my sword straight out of his hand!

“Thanks!”

But it wasn’t over yet. The goblin and I both grabbed for the sword at the same time. I kicked him away as hard as I could but, before I could grab my sword, one of his friends launched toward me.

Pew! Pew!

Luna took it out with covering fire. I seized my sword triumphantly and charged toward the goblin leader. He staggered back and I whipped my blade around, cutting him down with a single swipe.

There were only two left, and one was already fleeing, with Leila in hot pursuit. I went after the other. It snarled and pointed its club at me, probably imitating some human it had fought in the past. It seemed like a good time to try out my new skills. This guy was the last one, and even if I failed, my friends were here to back me up.

I rushed forward and performed a Power Slash. It was a huge, extravagant swing and gave the goblin plenty of time to raise his club and block it. Unfortunately for him, my sword sliced both him and his club cleanly in half.

“Oooh, that’s powerful, but I can feel my heart pounding.”

I would probably struggle to use it more than once at a time. By the time I caught my breath, Leila was back with the final goblin corpse in tow. We rushed over to Emma, who was carrying Sena in her arms.

“You’re not hurt, are you?” I asked the little girl.

“No, the soft and fluffy lady protected me.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” I said. “She has always been very kind.”

Emma looked embarrassed by the compliment. “I-I guess I can’t argue…”

Before we went back, we made quick work of taking apart the goblin thieves for materials. They were rare, and I wanted to make sure we got anything that might be useful. Afterward, we took Sena back to town. She was very brave and never cried once the whole way home, although of course, the tears came pouring out as soon as she saw her parents again.

“Mommy! Daddy! I was so scared!”

“Oh, Sena! I’m so sorry! It’s okay!”

We watched them and smiled. This really was one of the perks of the job. Emma even gave me a little high five in celebration.

“Be careful around the mountain in the future,” I told Sena’s parents. “There are certain times when monsters are more likely to appear.”

“We will. Thank you. Thank you so much for saving our daughter!”

We said goodbye to Sena and her parents, then headed into the guild hall to collect our reward.

***

It was Sunday morning, and I was helping out in the shop. I put the goblin thief parts out for sale, along with some materials from monsters I’d defeated in the dungeon. We also had the herbs and materials that Tigerson had collected. Also, I could use alchemy now, so it would probably be a good idea to produce or refine some more products. Sales were good, and my parents’ clothes were getting finer by the day. They’d even started wearing fur coats—in the middle of summer.

“I’ll let you handle the rest, Tigerson. I’m heading home.”

<Indeed. Take care.>

He’d become really good at attracting customers, so I headed home without a care in the world. As I went, I picked up some interesting food to boost my LP. Technically, I had access to LP Conversion (Money), but I wanted to save that for emergency situations. After all, 1 LP cost a whopping 100,000 rels. At that rate, I would burn through my entire savings and not even earn 1,000 LP, so I only planned to use it when I had to.

Currently, I had 3,400 LP. I’d spent a lot on producing new skills, but Emma had been keeping me topped up with kisses and hugs. Even so, maybe it was time to use the LP Conversion (Items) skill. After all, my Octopus Killing Harpoon had served me well on the water level of the dungeon, but it wasn’t likely to see action again. And it had an S-Grade skill on it, so it would probably earn me a lot. In the end, destroying it gave me an extra 2,800 LP, so it was worth it.

“Guess it might not be a bad plan to buy things with skills on them and convert them for the LP.”

My alchemy skill could help with that too. My options were definitely improving.

I was almost home when I stopped and turned my head to listen. Was that…someone shouting in the yard?

“I came here to hang out!”

“Well, I came here to hang out and make out!”

“What did you just say?!”

“Nothing, did I?”

Why did those voices sound familiar? I headed inside to discover Emma and Lola waiting for me.

“What’s the problem?” I asked.

“I came here to visit you,” Emma said.

“Yeah?” Lola shot back. “Well, so did I!”

So that was how they’d run into each other.

“All right, all right,” I said. “Why don’t you both come in? I’ll make you tea.”

We headed into the living room and I served them some tea, along with a few snacks my father had brought back. We all sat, happily eating them together.

“Oh, what about these?” I asked. “They’re the boiled grasshoppers my mother made.”

“I, uh…” Lola said. “I think I’ll pass this time.”

“Me too,” Emma said. “Your mum’s cooking is delicious, but sometimes it’s a little…you know.”

I guess Mother did have the occasional catastrophic kitchen mishap. I thought the grasshoppers were tasty, though.

We sat around for a while, eating snacks and chatting about everything and nothing—how my father’s newfound wealth was earning him more influence, and who was dating whom in Odin. But after about an hour, Lola stood up suddenly.

“Wait! I didn’t come just to eat snacks and chat! I came here to help you save Ms. Olivia!”

Emma frowned. “Olivia? What are you talking about?”

“Sorry, Emma,” I said. “I haven’t had a chance to tell you about it yet.” I gave her a quick overview and explained why I needed to reach the fifteenth floor so urgently.

“Oh, then I’ll help too!” Emma said. “What do you need?”

“Yeah, yeah, you can help on some other day,” said Lola. “Today is my turn.”

She took my hand and tried to drag me away, but Emma grabbed my other hand to stop her.

“I don’t know what you’re doing, Lola. But whatever it is, you’re doing it here.”

“Oh, well, in that case… If you’re sure, I mean!”

Without waiting for her answer, Lola promptly pulled out a blindfold and put it on me. Wait, how long had she been planning this?! It was a little scary not being able to see anything, and there was something warm pressed against my cheeks—probably Lola’s hands.

“Just relax, Mr. Noir. You have nothing to be afraid of. I just had an idea for a little LP-earning game! Emma, would you like to join in?”

“S-sure,” Emma said. “Although…what is it we’re doing?”

We both listened while Lola explained the rules. One of them would hide a cookie somewhere on their person, and I had thirty seconds to find it. And, because of the blindfold, I’d have to rely on my other senses to do it, while the two of them tried to lead me astray. If I failed to find the cookie in time, they could touch me anywhere they wanted. That didn’t sound like much of a punishment to me, but who was I to argue?

“What?” said Lola. “You’re going to put it there?”

“Don’t worry,” Emma replied. “He’ll never figure it out.”

What were they talking about? Hopefully they were hiding it somewhere that wasn’t too embarrassing—a pocket, for example, or the waistband of their outfit.

“Okay!” Lola said cheerfully. “We’re ready! Come and get it!”

I took a couple of hesitant steps forward and reached out my hands. My fingers sank into something squishy.

“Eeep!”

Emma made a strange sound and I pulled away.

“Sorry!”

“Oh, come on,” said Lola. “Anywhere is fair game, remember? Your only enemy is time.”

I tried to remember what Emma was wearing and think of places where she could have hidden it. Of course, it could have been somewhere between her clothes and her bare skin, but she could also have it under her foot or tucked in one of her hands. Wow, this was much harder than I’d expected! I started searching around Emma’s waist.

“Oh, Noir, you’re so…”

“Are you sure you’re not wasting time there, Mr. Noir?” Lola asked. “I mean, Emma’s not the only one here, you know.”

She was right. Maybe she had the cookie. I moved over to Lola and started by checking her hands. Nothing. Did she have any pockets in her clothes? I checked around her stomach.

“I’ll give you a hint,” Lola said. “It’s about eight inches above where you’re touching right now, but I won’t say if I have it or if Emma does.”

I was running out of time, so I reached out for both of them at the same time. About eight inches above where I’d been touching was…something warm and round that didn’t quite fit in my hand. I blushed.

“Wait, is it somewhere on your chest…?”

“Oh, Mr. Noir!” Lola teased. “You’re so daring!”

She was having fun with this.

“I’ll give you another hint,” Lola said. “It’s near Emma’s most developed asset. Don’t think too hard. Just go with your gut.”

“So it’s…somewhere on her chest.”

“Excuse me!” Emma bit back. “I think you mean my brain!”

Damn it, where was it?! That’s when it hit me: They were allowed to lie. The cookie was probably far away from the direction they were leading me. I crouched down and started hunting around the floor.

“N-Noir?” Emma asked.

“Is it under your foot?” I asked. “Or in your sock?”

I patted down their feet.

“You know,” Lola said. “If you looked up now, you could see our panties.”

“I’m blindfolded, Lola!”

And worse than that, I was wrong about it being around their feet.

“You’re out of time,” Lola said.

Defeated, I stood up and removed my blindfold, only to see the cookie right on top of Emma’s head.

“Wait, really?”

“Urgh, I even gave you a hint!” Emma complained.

She was right. I’d lost because I hadn’t had faith in my dearest friend.

“But it was stimulating, right?” Lola asked.

Oh, that’s right! I’d earned…800 LP? It seemed the blindfold had added another layer of excitement.

“All right, Noir, you lose,” said Emma. “Time to pay up with your body.”

I mean, I wasn’t exactly in a position to argue. I gave in and abandoned myself to them. Lola stared at me hungrily.

“I think I’m gonna go for you know where.”

“Wait,” Emma said. “What? You can’t!”

“That’s funny coming from you, Emma,” Lola said. “I know you want it too.”

“I…”

Emma glanced at me briefly and looked away, her cheeks turning red like a guilty child. Meanwhile, Lola didn’t have any such reservations. She jumped right in.

“It’s so hard! Wow, Noir, that’s amazing.”

“Ooh,” said Emma, sounding relieved. “That’s what you meant.”

To be honest, I was a little relieved too.

“Ms. Emma!” Lola said, feigning shock. “Where did you think I meant? Don’t tell me you thought—”

“I’m doing it too!” said Emma. “I’ve always wanted to. Oh! It’s rock hard!”

Argh, two beautiful women are touching me, but for some reason, I just feel filthy. Why is that, oh, Great Sage?

I guess some things were beyond even him.

Although apparently, my butt was very firm.

***

It was finally time to tackle the fourteenth floor. I headed to the dungeon and used my Dungeon Elevator skill to go straight there. I hadn’t really paid much attention to it the last time, but now I could see it was a straight corridor with a sign at the end. Beyond it, the way split into four paths, each with a number written on the ground.

The trials beyond this point will vary, the sign read. If you are a party of one, take the first path. If you are two, take the second. If you are three, take the third. If you are four, take the fourth.

I’d come here alone, so I guess that meant I should take the first path.

The corridor led straight away from me, but it was really long. I must have walked for fifteen minutes by the time the corridor started to feel different. There was a turn in the path ahead of me with another sign on the wall. I paused a long way short of it and used Variable Visual Acuity to adjust my eyesight enough to read it. After all, it was better to be safe than sorry. I didn’t want any enemies getting the jump on me.

Do not kill a single one, this one stated. If you do, you shall have to start again.

I wonder what that meant. I hurried forward and looked around the corner. The sight on the other side took my breath away. The entire hallway was moving. Or at least, something was moving over it. There were snakes on the floor, spiders and lizards all over the walls, and some kind of black insects on the ceiling. There were so many of them that I couldn’t see the surfaces beneath. Now and then, bugs fell off and spattered down onto the floor like black rain.

A shiver went down my spine. I wasn’t afraid of a few bugs, but this was way more than just a few. I retreated a few steps to compose myself.

“Guess I’ll just have to roast them…wait…”

The sign said not to kill a single one. Really?! That was impossible! If I went anywhere near them, I was bound to tread on something. I couldn’t even slap them away if they crawled up my legs! Was I meant to befriend them? I wasn’t sure I could manage that.

I stood there for ages, trying to think of some skill I could make that would help, but I kept coming up blank. Still, failure wasn’t going to kill me, so out of curiosity I went and trod on a bug to see what would happen.

“Hngh…”

A strange feeling came over me, like falling from a great height. The world distorted, and when it cleared, I was standing somewhere else.

“I’m back at the start of the floor? Urgh, I really can’t get away with killing any of them…”

For some reason, that made me feel utterly hopeless. I slumped down onto the floor and sighed. There was no way I could do this. In the end, I took the Dungeon Elevator back up to the second floor.

“Glad you’re in a good mood. I’m stuck.”

<Oooh, and you have come here to rest your head on your dear Olivia’s bosom? Tell me what happened.>

I wasn’t sure about that first part, but I did explain the situation in the hope that she could help.

“Exactly, and there’s no way I could walk down the corridor without killing a single one. Maybe I could put them in suspended animation first? But there are so many! I’m not sure if that’d even be possible.”

<So why don’t you pick a different path next time?> she asked. <Or ask one of your friends for help. You do have friends, right?>

“I do, but I don’t really want to bring them here. It’s so dangerous.”

I nodded vaguely and left the dungeon.

Olivia had never had anyone to lean on? Maybe that was why she’d ended up trapped in those chains… No matter how strong you were, if you didn’t have anyone to watch your back, you could never let your guard down. And Olivia was hundreds of times more powerful than me, but, well.

She was probably right. It was best to get help. Still, I wanted to get some fresh air and chew things over on my way home, so I stopped at the Arrone Plains. As I walked through the grass, I caught sight of someone battling a monster. The fighter’s red clothes really stood out. I could tell from miles off that it was Emma, facing off against a large hare. She’d had so much trouble with them before, but now she cut through them like butter. Run Like the Wind made her much lighter on her feet. She had her opponent wrapped around her little finger long before she used her signature Wind Strike to blow its head to pieces.

“Yeah!” I cheered her on. “Perfectly executed!”

I came closer and checked on her with Discerning Eye. She’d already gone up a level from when I last checked. She was Level 69 now.

“What are you doing here?” she asked me.

“I got stuck on something in the dungeon,” I said. “Thought a change of scenery might help.”

“Well, at least you can relax here. There aren’t any monsters in the area.”

“Not anymore, at least,” I said, eyeing the dead hare.

We headed a short way into the grass and sat down to watch the sunset. The breeze was warm and light and Emma’s blonde hair danced in it. She was so beautiful in the long golden light. No wonder she had so many admirers. I must have used up all my luck just getting to grow up with her.

“I know you want to save Ms. Olivia,” Emma said. “But don’t push yourself too hard, okay?”

“Don’t worry. You know I’m a coward.”

Emma shook her head. “You keep saying that, and maybe you’re cautious when it’s just you, but I’ve seen you get really reckless when someone else needs your help.”

I’d never really thought about it like that. Had I been wrong about myself all this time?

“Don’t forget that you have me,” Emma said. “I’m always here if you need someone.”

It made me feel all warm and fuzzy to hear that. I reached out and hugged her.

“Did…something happen?” she asked.

“I want you to come to the dungeon with me,” I muttered into her hair. “I swear I’ll make sure you stay safe.”

“Noir… Of course I’ll come. You know I’d go to the ends of the earth for you!”

“Thank you.” I squeezed her a little tighter.

Now that it was decided, there was no time to waste. We decided then and there that, the next time we had a break, we’d head to the dungeon.

When the day came, we headed in together. Emma paused while I recited the password.

“Is that how you get in?” she asked. “It’s almost like it was written for you!”

“Yeah, I guess it is.”

I wanted to introduce her to Olivia, but I decided to leave that until later. Instead, I scooped Emma up in my arms and used the Dungeon Elevator to take us to the fourteenth floor.

“I took the first path before,” I explained. “Let’s take the second one this time.”

“Sure! I’m looking forward to it!”

“Me too.”

We smiled at each other.

The second path was another long, unbranching corridor. I was a little worried it would have a sudden turn like the last one, but this time it dead-ended at a door. The trial would be on the other side. Emma and I glanced at each other, nodded, and went in.

As soon as we were in, the door closed behind us. The room was small with amber-colored walls and a square hole about a foot across set into the back wall. Was there…something moving in there?

Before we could react, a surge of tiny creatures poured out of the hole until they completely surrounded us. They were armed with swords, bows, and spears, and there were so many that it was hard for us to move. The little people might have been tiny, but they had a strange intensity. As they lined up, a stone slotted into the hole they’d emerged from, closing it off. We were stuck here. Not that we could have squeezed through the hole anyway.

The tiny people all around us looked almost half-goblin with their long noses and pointed ears. They were no more than eight inches tall.

“Do not underestimate us, giants!” one of them shouted, brandishing a spear.

For such a tiny little guy, he sure had a big voice.

“Hang on!” Emma said, raising her hands. “We don’t mean you guys any harm.”

Avoiding a fight was probably the best course of action, so I followed her lead. The tiny people started muttering and whispering amongst themselves. It made me nervous. I tried to use Discerning Eye on them, but it didn’t work on a single one of them. They were a true mystery.

“If you don’t mean us harm,” one of them shouted. “Give us your weapons!”

Emma and I glanced at each other. We were surrounded, so we didn’t have much choice but to obey. I had ways of accessing other weapons anyway, so we set everything down on the floor. The little people swarmed around our weapons, carrying them off into a corner.

“If you think we’re going to let you go for nothing,” one of them shouted, “you’ve got another thing coming!”

“If there’s anything we can do for you, we’ll do it,” Emma said. “Anything at all.”

The little person shifted. “Are you sure?”

“Of course,” I said. “I mean, if we don’t do as you say, you’ll just attack us, right?”

“Wait right there, both of you!”

The little people gathered together and started whispering among themselves. There were at least several hundred of them. I tried studying them, but they all looked the same to me. There was no way to tell them apart.

However, while they were chatting, I did get the chance to notice the door on the far side of the room. It was probably locked right now, but I bet that would be how we got out of here. The obvious way to unlock the door would be to annihilate these little people. I leaned in to whisper in Emma’s ear.

“Let’s play along for a while, then attack when they drop their guard.”

She nodded. “Got it.”

The little people seemed to have finished consulting with each other.

“We’re hungry!” one of them shouted. “Give us food!”

I had stashed away some rations in my Pocket Dimension, although this wasn’t how I’d expected to use them. “I have bread or fruit. Which would you prefer?”

“One moment!”

They needed to consult again?! They seemed almost as smart as humans, and that made things difficult. Even if each individual wasn’t very strong, who knew what kind of damage a swarm of them could do?

“Give us something sweet that we can share!”

Some cookies or a piece of fruit seemed like the best bet. I pulled a banana out of my Pocket Dimension, and suddenly they were all on high alert.

“What was that?!”

“Don’t worry,” I explained. “It’s just one of my abilities. I use it to store things. This is food, see?”

I peeled the banana and put it down on the floor. The little people swarmed around it like ants.

“It’s yellow,” one of them muttered. “What is it?”

Seemed there weren’t any bananas on the fourteen floor. I wondered what they normally ate.

“It’s called a banana,” I said. “They’re popular where I’m from, but a little expensive.”

“Someone, taste it for poison!” one of them shouted.

Another stepped forward and took a bite.

Was the one who’d issued that order their leader? There were so many that there had to be someone in charge, right? Even monsters had pack leaders. If we could take out the one in charge, perhaps it would throw the others into disarray.

Still, it was best not to jump to any conclusions. For now, I waited while the poison taster chewed on a bite of banana. He let out a low groan and covered his face with his hands. What was going on? All of the others were raising their weapons and shouting.

“You damned giants! You thought you could poison us?!”

“I did no such thing!” I protested. “It’s not poisoned!”

They didn’t look like they believed me, but before they could attack, the poison taster straightened up again.

“It isn’t poison,” he said. “It’s delicious!”

That’s what the groaning was about?!

Now they were sure it wasn’t poison, the others swarmed in to take a bite. When they did, each of them reacted the same way, screaming so loudly with delight that I thought my ears would burst.

“Yuuuuum!”

“It really is yummy!”

“I’ve never tasted something so sweeeeet!”

Ugh, watching them all eat like that was revolting. They were ugly to begin with, but watching them grimace and spit everywhere was too much to bear. I glanced over at Emma and noticed her face twitching.

“Hey!” one of the little people shouted. “That banana is mine! Step off!”

“Shut up, I got to it first!”

“How dare you! Do you want to die?!”

As soon as the banana was gone, a fight broke out over the skin.

Oh, was that what we were meant to do? If we can keep this up, they might just turn on each other!

***

In the end, a single banana wasn’t enough to satisfy them all. Emma and I waited to see if they’d continue arguing, but eventually they turned back on us.

“Hey, giants! Give us more!”

“Sorry,” I said. “I only had one of them.”

That was a lie, but I couldn’t exactly start handing them out, could I? If I did, they’d stop fighting. All the same, my idea backfired in the end. Instead of fighting more amongst themselves, they turned their anger back toward me and Emma.

“Then we’ll kill you! Everyone! Attack!”

Guess it wasn’t going to be that easy after all!

“What?!” I said. “No, wait! Stop! I might not have any more bananas, but I do have a cookie. Here.”

I set a delicious cookie down on the floor, but they seemed unimpressed. I’d rubbed them the wrong way by not having another banana.

“This isn’t food,” said one of them.

What were they talking about? Maybe they’d just never seen one before?

“It’s made from wheat flour. You bake it in the oven and…” I realized quickly that my explanation wasn’t going to help. “Fine then. I’ll eat it. I’ll give you something else.”

“Wait! We did not say we wouldn’t eat it!”

They were curious about it after all. But they were cautious too. They had their poison taster take a bite, and the results were much the same as the banana.

“It’s hard, but it melts in your mouth, and it’s yuuuuuummy!”

Thank you, poison taster!

After that, the others started to try and seemed to take a liking to it. Before long, they were demanding more. I wondered how we would have managed if I hadn’t brought any food with me.

Fortunately, I had a few more cookies, so I handed them out. They mowed through them in the course of a few minutes.

“Giants! Entertain us next!”

“Entertain you?” I asked.

“Yes! Do a pig impression!”

Would these guys never be satisfied?

“Woman!” one of them shouted. “Why aren’t you doing anything?!”

“Me? But…”

“Pig impression! Now!”

What a thing to ask of a young lady! Regardless, Emma seemed to be ready for it. She squished her nose up and gave them her best pig impression.

“Oink oink oink oink!”

Silence.

Getting heckled would have been bad enough, but these guys didn’t react at all! They just stared at Emma blankly while she kept oinking. It was almost a minute before they got bored and called it off.

“That wasn’t funny at all. You deserve to die!”

“Umm, but you’re the ones who told me to do it?” Emma said.

Turned out, these guys were just smart enough to be mean.

“No impression then. Just make us laugh!”

I didn’t like how this was going, but right now we didn’t seem to have any other choice. Even so, I couldn’t let Emma embarrass herself again, so this time I stepped up. I pulled a face and put on a funny voice.

“Look at me! I’m an orc! I love meat, but I won’t eat pork! I can’t. It would be too much like cannibalism!”

Silence.

Since they’d asked for an impression of a pig, I’d assumed they liked them, but that didn’t get so much as a single chuckle. Even Emma only looked away from me, embarrassed. Wait. Did I…have no sense of humor? I’d made a complete fool of myself for nothing! Just kill me now. How do comedians deal with stuff like this?!

“Hey!” one of the little people shouted. “Woman! Why do you wear clothes that bare your legs?”

“Because I value ease of movement,” Emma replied.

Seriously? These guys didn’t even know what a skirt was? How would we ever figure out what they found funny?

Emma sighed. She was probably thinking the same thing.

“Hey!” someone shouted. “We’re out of cookies! Give us more!”

It looked like we’d have to find another way out of this. They did seem to have dropped their guard a little, so I figured this was our chance. I took out a piece of bread and set it on the floor.

“This is called bread,” I said. “It’s one of the main things we like to eat. It isn’t sweet, but it’s tasty!”

It was expensive bread too. I’d bought it from a famous bakery in town. But the little people were as cautious as ever.

“Make sure it isn’t poison!” one of them shouted.

It was the same one that had given the order before. Emma seemed to have noticed the same thing.

“Is that their leader?” she whispered.

“I think so. Think you can take him out first?”

“So you do have something up your sleeve. All right. Let’s try it.”

The poison taster finished trying the bread.

“It isn’t sweet, and it has a strange texture…but I like it.”

“Good,” said the leader. “Giants! Drop the rest of it!”

“All right, all right,” I complained. “I’m getting to it.”

Poisonous — 50 LP

Bestow — 150 LP

Time to spice up their present a little! The second I set the poisoned bread down, they swarmed all over it. Only the leader didn’t go for it right away. Damn it, why not?! At least now we had a good chance to take out the others.

“Urghh…”

“My stomach…”

“Hey! Giant! What did you do to them?!”

“Now, Emma.”

“Yessir!”

She fired off a Wind Strike, aiming it straight at the creature we assumed was their leader. In the end, none of them had much in the way of defense. The creature was crushed before it could even scream.

“Boss?!”

“You killed him?!”

We were right about him being their leader. Looked like they’d avoided addressing him directly to stop us from finding out. Now he was no longer a problem, and a good proportion of the little guys had been poisoned. Pandemonium soon followed. Some of them tried to run away while others formed up to make a stand.

“Guess it’s time for us to let loose,” I said.

“They won’t get away,” Emma growled. “Not after humiliating me like that!”

Soon, the peerless duo of Emma and Noir had managed to cause absolute mayhem. Most of the creatures were already dying from the poison, so they didn’t put up much of a fight, and they were weak without their leader. The fight was over in minutes.

“Noir, did you do something to that bread?”

I nodded. “I Bestowed the Poison skill before I gave them the second portion.”

Emma grinned. “You’re so smart!”

We high-fived, and the sound snapped back off the walls. When we checked the door on the far side of the room, it was open, just as I’d predicted.

On the other side, a long corridor stretched out ahead of us. We walked cautiously along it when something grabbed hold of my hand. I almost jumped out of my skin, but in the end, it was only Emma. I still wasn’t used to having her down here with me.

“This reminds me of when we were kids,” she said. “We used to go on all sorts of adventures together.”

“I remember. You were always running headlong into trouble!”

“But it was so much fun!” Emma laughed. “Playing with you like that. It still is. Hey! Why don’t we…you know? Do that thing we used to do, where we’d kiss in a cave?”

I paused and turned to look at her. “Here?”

“Of course, silly! Besides, there aren’t any monsters here.”

She was right. There weren’t even any traps. I did as she asked—putting my hands on her shoulders and drawing her toward me. I pressed my lips against hers and suddenly remembered something she’d said when we were younger. How she’d always wanted to be kissed in a dungeon.

“So,” I asked. “Did your dream finally come true?”

“Aha ha! You remembered? Yeah, it did. I’m so happy!”

This time, Emma was the one who kissed me. I wanted to take a break until my Dungeon Elevator skill had cooled down, so we took our time.

After we resumed our search, it wasn’t too long before we found the stairs down.

“There they are!” Emma cheered. “We made it!”

“Yeah. Hopefully there will be some clue about how to save my master on the next floor.”

My heart was pounding as we headed down the stairs. The air was so cold against my skin. As we reached the fifteenth floor, the space opened up, revealing gray walls and a large stone monument standing at the back. As we got closer, I realized it was a human figure, bound in chains. It all looked strangely familiar.

“Wait,” I said. “It can’t be…”

But it was. The chains were attached to Olivia.

“Master?!”

She didn’t respond. I couldn’t hear her usual telepathic chatter at all. Besides, this couldn’t be Olivia, right?! She was still up on the second floor.

“Hey, look at this,” Emma said.

She was looking at the monument. It had some words carved into the base.

“Release her without killing her, and the path shall open,” I read.

The whole monument was huge. Much bigger than it needed to be for so few words. At least the message was easy enough to understand: Release this thing that looked like Olivia and we could move on to the next floor. I figured the chains around the figure were Death Chains, but there was another set of thin, gold-colored chains wrapped around them. They were called the Chains of Creation and had an S-Grade skill called Duplicate. The figure’s abilities weren’t obscured either.

Name: Death Chain Olivia Copy

Level: 420

Skills: Get Creative; Editor; Bestow; Fireball; Fire Dragon Strike; Improved Fire Elemental Magic

Did that mean this figure was actually made from Death Chains? The copy had the same three god-like skills I’d inherited from Olivia, but only had three other skills besides those. That meant it couldn’t be my master after all. The real Olivia had dozens of other skills, and besides, her level was way higher. Had the dungeon somehow used the Chains of Creation to duplicate her and some of her abilities? Even if it wasn’t a perfect copy, it was still terrifyingly strong.

“Does it look exactly like her?” Emma asked.

“Yeah. But it’s not her. The dungeon must have found a way to make a duplicate of her. Or maybe she found a way to do it herself. This might explain why the real Olivia is in pain.”

“So should we release her? Looks like that’s the only way to advance.”

“I guess so. I mean, even if we have to fight her, we’d have to cut her free first.”

“Right,” Emma said. “Leave it to me!”

She fired off one Wind Slash after another, cutting the chains that bound Olivia’s double. The wind was sharp as a blade, and the chains crumbled to the floor like string.

“Nnnnnnngh…”

The double stretched like she was awakening from a long sleep. She looked identical to the real Olivia, but she could speak, move around, and open her eyes. It was weird hearing her actual voice. I didn’t know how to feel about it. I wanted the real Olivia to be able to move around like this.

“Are you the ones who set me free?” she asked. “Like, massive props to you. Li’l old Olivia couldn’t get herself out of those persnickety chains.”

Even her mannerisms were the same. So why did I feel so angry?

“The monument said that, if we released you, the path to the next floor would open,” Emma said. “Tell us where it is?”

“Sure!” said the double. “Least I can do, isn’t it?”

She waved her hand artlessly. Suddenly, I had a bad feeling about this. I grabbed Emma and threw her out of the way—just as a massive fireball struck the stone monument, pulverizing it to dust.

“Ah!” Emma cried. “That was close.”

The double shrugged. “Soz. Wasn’t trying to, like, attack you guys. See? Look there.”

The monument was gone. In its place, a narrow staircase led down into the dark. So that’s why the whole thing was so oversized.

“Going straight down?” asked the copy.

“Yeah,” Emma said. “Are you going to try to stop us?”

“Why would I do that?” asked the copy. “Li’l old Olivia here is much more interested in taking advantage of her newfound freedom, after all!”

That was it. I couldn’t hold my anger back any longer.

“Don’t pretend to be my master!” I shouted. “You know full well she’s still trapped in those Death Chains.”

“Awwww, you caught me? I’m, like, so shocked…psych!”

“If I defeat you, will it free her?”

“Beats me. But it sure would be fun to test out my powers.”

She was smiling at us, speaking slowly and calmly. The air was starting to turn cold. She was unquestionably strong, but she was an imperfect copy—so we had to have a chance, right?

I fired off a Stone Bullet that was small enough to be quick but large enough to do some serious damage.

Fwomp!

The fake Olivia jumped and kicked the stone up toward the ceiling.

Oh, dear.

“My turn!” she said brightly.

She summoned a dragon made of flames. Even from a distance, I could feel their heat. That had to be her Fire Dragon Strike skill.

She let out a yell, and the fire dragon shot forward. Both Emma and I managed to get out of the way, but the dragon turned around to chase me, almost as though it were alive. I managed to keep out of its way with side steps, but this guy just wouldn’t quit! How much longer was this spell going to last? Given that the fake Olivia had Improved Fire Elemental Magic…

I might be in trouble.

While I was running for my life, Emma turned to attack the double.

“Oh, lemme guess!” said Fake Olivia. “B-Grade or A-Grade Dual Wielding Daggers? You’re not even gonna touch li’l old Olivia with that!”

She dodged all of Emma’s attacks, waiting for an opening, and kicked her.

“Argh!”

Emma tumbled through the air as though she weighed nothing at all.

There was nothing we could do. She was too strong. We had to get out of here. I rushed over to help Emma up off the floor.

“Come on,” I said. “We’re retreating.”

I summoned my Dungeon Elevator and leaped into the hole with the fire dragon still right behind us, trying to give chase.