Chapter 5: Hunting for Items

Chapter 5:
Hunting for Items

 

THE NEXT MORNING, I FOUND MYSELF at the inn where Mira was staying. It was time to take her to meet the real estate agent, Mr. Domado. When I asked the front desk where to find her, they told me she was in the backyard with her father.

I slipped through the lobby and opened the door. Mira was outside, holding a burlap bag open and pointing it at a boulder. It was perplexing, but before I could even formulate a question, water sprayed from the mouth of the bag. It had a lot of force, but it wasn’t particularly destructive. Once the water ran out, the boulder was wet but unharmed.

“Huh? That’s it?”

Mira frowned. On the other hand, the dapper fellow standing next to her was all smiles. His thick red hair was parted in the center, and he looked to be in his late thirties, his aura thoroughly that of a mature man. His skin was flawless and his features elegant. He kind of looked like Mira.

“I’m impressed,” he said. “That was quite a bit of water pressure.”

“Daddy, are you stupid? It only works thirty times. You’re seriously going to shell out three hundred grand for this?”

“Oh, Mira, you’re still so young. You see, men are always pursuing their dreams. If a man forgets his adventurous spirit, he’ll shrivel up into nothing.”

I had to agree, but Mira seemed tired of it. Given their conversation, he had to be her father. Come to think of it, he kinda reminded me of my father. I surreptitiously used Discerning Eye on him. His name was Stoke Santage. He was only Level 30, but he had an Enchanted Item Perception skill.

“Oh, Noir, is that you?” Mira asked. “Are you here to see me?”

“Hello. About the real estate agent, remember?”

“Oh! Right! We did talk about that.”

“He’d like to meet you,” I said. “So I thought I’d take you to see him. That’s your dad, right? Pleased to meet you, sir.”

I introduced myself, and Mr. Stoke responded with cheer. He seemed interested in the real estate agent too.

“Noir, is this the agent helping us find somewhere for our weapons shop?”

“Yeah, apparently he’s got a few vacant lots that would be a good fit.”

“That’s just perfect! I would love to join you.”

And I was happy to have him. The three of us left the inn and walked to meet Mr. Domado. Mr. Stoke didn’t ask many questions, but he told me all about his dreams of expanding the store. He boasted about how the Santage Weapons shop was the biggest in his country. They dealt primarily in offensive weapons, but they also carried armor and items—although they couldn’t really compete with specialty shops in that respect. Business was going well, but he wanted to expand their reach to other lands.

“Weapons and armor shops have a variety of policies,” he said. “Efficiency is a big priority in our kingdom. It ensures high profits from each weapon. But it means that it’s common to take low-cost items and add a little decoration to boost the price.”

I supposed that made a good first impression on buyers, but it was all just for show. The ornamentation didn’t affect the item’s functionality, and the base product was probably of inferior quality.

“A soldier wouldn’t be happy if their sword broke in combat,” Mr. Stoke said. “Though being unhappy would be the least of their worries. Once you’ve lost your life, you can never get it back. That’s why the Santage family decided to prioritize high-quality items.”

Mr. Stoke’s grandfather had founded the shop, and he’d decided to do things differently back when they only had one storefront. A single good experience with their products meant repeat customers, and eventually more and more people started buying from them. Their strategy netted them small but consistent profits. This seemed like it could be useful for my own business.

“Before long, we were the top weapons supplier in the kingdom. As I always say: your weapon is half your soul!”

That sure was passionate, and kinda cool too. Or rather, it would have been if we weren’t in the middle of the street.

“Daddy, stop it! You’re embarrassing me. You’re almost forty, for goodness’ sake.”

“Dreams have no expiration date! That kind of thinking only inhibits you. There’s no point thinking about how you should act or what you should do at your age. That kind of ‘common sense’ crushes innovation! You’re punching over your weight class when you’re barely out of diapers, little girl!”

“All right, already, I’m in the wrong.”

Mira’s father was quite the character. She seemed used to managing him, so maybe she was trying to keep him from going overboard. Still, I decided to take note of his little speech.

Once we met up with Mr. Domado, Mira and I weren’t really needed. Mr. Stoke was the one buying, after all. It was probably better to let the adults handle things.

“Let’s go hang out somewhere.”

So Mira and I wandered around town. As we went, I asked her about that water bag thing from earlier.

“Oh, that. Daddy bought it from some weird merchant. Not only does it have a hard cap on uses, it’s extremely weaksauce.”

“I bet you guys have a lot of connections,” I said. “I’ve actually been trying to accumulate weapons lately.”

“Well, I’m not gonna say I can’t help you, but I have some conditions. I wanna know why you’re collecting and what your powers are.”

It must have seemed unfair that I knew her secrets when she didn’t know mine. It felt risky telling someone I’d only known for a few days, but the potential advantages outweighed the risks. Getting close to the Santage family meant more opportunities to earn LP.

“My abilities are unique…”

I gave her a rough outline, and Mira’s eyes went wide.

“It’s a little hard to believe,” she said. “No offense, but can I test you?”

“Sure, what kind of test?”

“Look at this item.”

A green stone appeared in her hand. “It’s an enchanted stone that lets you use Wind Strike,” she explained. “But it has a fixed number of uses, just like that bag.”

I took a look.

 

Wind Strike Stone

Grade C

Skills: Wind Strike x1

 

It might have had more uses once, but now there was only one left before it broke.

“Can you increase the number of Wind Strikes?” Mira asked.

Bumping it up to two was only 300 LP.

“Like I said before, I can if I expend LP,” I said.

“I’ll pay you back in weapons, so why don’t you try it?”

“All right…done.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

Mira used the rock in the empty street, which was rocked with a Wind Strike. But the stone stayed whole.

“Wow, it really didn’t break!”

“It will if you use it again though.”

“Holy crap, that’s incredible! Boost the number of uses again please! I’ll definitely give you weapons.”

Adding more uses was trivial as long as I had the LP, so I agreed. Mira had all manner of weapons in her mobile armory. She pulled out all sorts of things—from blades to hammers to bows. I converted them all and earned several thousand LP when I did. After that, I increased the number of Wind Strikes in the stone to ten, and still had LP left over.

“You can keep whatever’s left,” Mira said. “Think of it as a present from a friend.”

“I appreciate it. I’m currently aiming for a hundred thousand.”

“It’s crazy. I mean you can earn LP from food, or even sexual stuff… Wait, don’t tell me that’s what you’ve been doing?”

“Oh, what’s going on over there?”

I dodged the question and headed into the crowd. I couldn’t bring myself to tell Mira that I’d just been gifted a pair of panties. Instead, I walked toward a ring where two young men were punching each other.

Upon closer inspection, the fight was extremely one-sided. Even when the other guy had an opening, he didn’t take it. A wooden sign on the ring read, “Hit Me If You Can: 3,000 rels/minute.” Now it made sense. The long-haired man was taking money to dodge attacks. If his opponent managed to land a hit, that was basically no one’s fault but his own.

“Huh, he’s not bad.” Mira sounded bored, holding a finger to her cheek.

Long Hair had skills for forward, side, and back steps, along with Dynamic Visual Acuity. The customer in the ring didn’t look like an amateur—he was moving like someone trained in martial arts. But Long Hair didn’t have even a single injury on his face. He clearly had both ability and experience.

“Three grand a minute is way too high,” Mira complained. “Who would pay for that? Oh, wait, if you land two hits, you get a Wand of Memory.”

It was written in very small text on the sign. In an instant, Mira’s expression flipped from disinterest to fiery passion.

“Okay! Hello! Excuuuse me! I’m next! Me!”

“Is that a good item or something?” I asked.

“It’s only temporary, but it improves your memory. It’s more than a little rare.”

“I want it too. If you fail, I’ll take a shot at him.”

“Heh, that’s a big if,” Mira said proudly, puffing out her chest.

The man’s current opponent had failed to land even a single hit.

“Any other takers?” he asked.

“Me! Me! Me!” Mira shouted.

“It’s three thousand rels for a minute.”

“I don’t care about that—show me the wand.”

“Oh, here it is.”

One of Long Hair’s companions brought out a bag and pulled out a rod from inside. Mira immediately appraised it. The wand was made of wood and roughly a foot long. At a glance, it looked like the kind of item you’d find just about anywhere. I used my Discerning Eye to be sure, but it was definitely genuine. Mira came to the same conclusion and jumped into the ring. She was strong, but she didn’t have any combat skills.

“Here goes my first hit!” Mira wound up and dashed forward. She was shockingly fast!

“Huh?!”

Long Hair had the same reaction as me. He frantically tried to get away, but she nailed him in the chin with the heel of her hand, knocking him down.

“What’s that? Twenty seconds? Plenty of time. Feel free to dodge one of my attacks.”

“Ngh.”

Long Hair got back up immediately and fell back into his stance. Mira came for him again. She was moving abnormally fast. He tried to evade her, but she was up in his business in no time. He shifted from side to side to keep her on her toes, but Mira watched him closely. She raised her left arm. Long Hair flinched and froze. In a matter of moments, she finished him off with a right hook. Long Hair spun as he fell. Mira had landed her two hits.

“Yay! That Wand of Memory is mine.”

Mira took the wand from the man’s companion and raised it over her head joyfully.

Meanwhile, I was looking down. Down at her shoes. They had skills on them! Mercury’s Sandals and Light Weight. I couldn’t believe my eyes, so I checked her clothes too. They all had various elemental resistances. Most were B-Grade, but their defensive qualities had been carefully considered. I shouldn’t have expected anything else from the daughter of her country’s foremost weapons dealer. Of course she had all sorts of enchanted items at her disposal—just like that ball she’d use to take out those treasure hunters.

“Heh heh heh~! I’m so happy I found you~!”

Mira sounded almost like a lecherous old man as she rubbed the wand against her cheek.

“You know, I met a baron recently who loves enchanted items,” I said. “He’s a collector. Are you into that sort of thing too?”

“I like collecting, but I find things like this to use them. I’ve always been like that. I mean, doesn’t it just give you the chills? There are enchanted items that can give you incredible skills. Plus, items will never betray you,” Mira said, her voice changing. “They’re not like those slutty girls who call you their bestie and then drop you the instant they get a boyfriend! Enchanted items are always on my side!”

Sounded like she’d had it rough. I didn’t say anything. I just gave her a gentle smile.

 

***

 

It was finally time to cross blades with Schuren’s parents. Schuren, Luna, and I all sat on a couch in his house, waiting for them to arrive. Mirenka was there too, preparing for guests.

Schuren explained that his family found formalities annoying. At first, his parents had been understanding about his bachelorhood, but for some reason, they’d pestered him about it more over the last few years.

“Do you have any idea why?”

“Not a clue. I haven’t changed, as far as I can tell. Mirenka, do you think I’ve changed?”

“No, my lord. Your zeal for enchanted items is still the same. Admittedly, it wouldn’t be a bad thing if you took more interest in people.”

“Uhh…I’ve been trying.”

Mirenka had been working for him for several years and seemed responsible for his personal needs.

“I’ve told Mirenka where I keep my stash of enchanted items,” said Schuren. “So that she can sell them off if something happens to me.”

“Sell them? I thought you wanted to keep them.”

“As long as I’m alive, yes. But these items have a purpose. I’d rather they’re sold to someone who’ll make use of them, not just leave them in a box to rot. I owe that much to society.”

I had to imagine that the enchanted items themselves were happy to be in his possession.

Just then, we heard the front door open. Mirenka headed off, and a short while later, she came back with a man and woman. We all stood to greet them. Schuren’s parents didn’t look that old at all. They seemed very youthful, standing straight as a pair of arrows. You’d never have guessed they were more than fifty.

“Hmph, forty-six days since we last met.”

“No, honey, it’s been forty-seven.”

They had something of a unique tempo to their conversation. The man was tall, with white hair and an immaculately manicured beard. His veins bulged over taut muscles. This guy was so cool. His wife, on the other hand, had the air of a refined noblewoman. Her hair was white too, but there wasn’t a single wrinkle on her face. She was slender and nowhere near as intimidating as her husband.

“So these are the two people you plan to use to fight us?” the man asked.

“I wish you wouldn’t phrase it like that. I’m not ‘using’ anyone. I might love enchanted items, but I do understand that people aren’t things. I’m sorry, Noir, Luna, my father has never been particularly good with words.”

Luna shook her head, telling him not to worry about it. “My name is Luna Heela,” she said. “I work as a cleric and adventurer.”

“Intriguing…”

“My, what a lovely girl you are.”

Schuren’s parents seemed to come away with a good impression of her. I certainly did. I was always so nervous in front of high-ranked nobles; I was much more comfortable around commoners. All eyes were on me as I hoarsely introduced myself.

“I’m Noir, the third son of the Stardia family. I’m a student at the Hero Academy and an adventurer. My father’s a baronet.”

“Hmm, the Stardia family you say?”

“Father, these two saved Marie, the duke’s daughter,” Schuren said, looking smug.

His parents were utterly stunned. What an incredible reaction.

“Sch-Schuren, you’ve brought some truly incredible people…”

“We’re ready whenever you are.”

“Very well. Let’s go outside.”

Seemingly provoked by the comment, Schuren’s parents were ready to get started. We all moved out into the yard. The two of them tested the turf with their swords—checking to see if there were any traps. After that, servants outfitted their master with armor. It was dazzling silver plate mail that must have been polished regularly. It positively gleamed.

“Seems like my armor’s in tip-top shape. Shall we start this?”

“Fine by us.”

I had just shy of 5,000 LP. The wife had her abilities Concealed so I couldn’t tell what they were, but her husband…

 

Name: Gandez Trower

Age: 65

Species: Human

Level: 199

Occupation: Fencing Instructor

Skills: Iwasaku School Swordsmanship (Grade A); Power Slash; Earth Slash; Thrust; Stamina Up; Martial Arts (Grade A); Physical Defense (Grade C); Poison Resistance (Grade C); Heat Resistance (Grade B)

 

S-so powerful…

His skill set was pretty specialized, and he didn’t have any obvious weaknesses either. I’d heard he’d opened a fencing school for common children, but I hadn’t realized he was quite this skilled. His armor wasn’t anything special, so it was probably just to increase his defense. My guess was that Iwasaku School Swordsmanship was some kind of famous sword-fighting style.

“Battle can begin at a moment’s notice,” Gandez boomed. “So hurry up and take your stance.”

“The husband is specialized in swordsmanship,” I whispered to Luna, raising my sword. “I don’t know about the wife.”

“My intuition is telling me that she’s a magic user. I’ll keep her busy and back you up when I see an opportunity.”

I agreed and faced my opponent. Suddenly, my entire field of vision was filled by Gandez charging in with his blade.

“What?!” I barely stepped out of the way in time.

“That was underhanded, father!” Schuren shouted.

“Silence! I warned him that battle could begin at any moment!”

“Counterattacks can too,” I said, performing a Power Slash.

The move increased the speed of my blade and attack power, but the swing was large and tiring. Our blades screeched together as Gandez blocked, but he couldn’t dampen enough of the force and tumbled back. Still, he got up immediately and made no attempt to retreat.

“I like you!” he said. “Now you will see a real swordsman’s technique!”

He came at me in a mad rush, but that was just what I was hoping for. I Bestowed the skill +5lbs—not onto him, but his plate mail. Between his significant stamina and heightened emotional state, he didn’t seem to notice.

I’d never seen this sword technique before, so I focused on dodging—making full use of my Improved Lunge, Side Step, and Back Step. They had to be my three most-used skills by that point.

“Struggling already?” Gandez asked. “You haven’t even seen the essence of the Iwasaku School yet.”

He raised his sword to the sky, then swung down in one glorious motion. I dodged, but his blade hit the ground, sending earth flying.

“Bleh…”

Dirt got in my eyes and mouth. Gandez seemed entirely unconcerned and repeated the motion over and over, opening a hole in the ground. That was likely his Earth Slash skill. I wasn’t going to spend the entire fight on the defensive, so I added another ten pounds to his armor, for a total of fifteen.

“You can run, but you can’t escape my blade!”

Not yet. I had to be patient. I added another fifteen pounds.

“Ah…”

“Hah! Hah! Hah! You have nowhere to run now!”

The yard was in a bad state. If I tried to step back, I’d probably stumble, and Gandez was standing triumphant in front of me.

“This plate mail protects me from my own technique,” he said. “Preparation…invites…victory…”

“Oh, it’s not over yet,” I said. “If anyone’s getting exhausted, it’s you.”

His shoulders heaved as he struggled for breath. But then, of course he was tired, he was charging around with an extra thirty pounds of weight.

“Haah, haah… H-how strange. Why is my armor so heavy…? Noir, you didn’t—”

“I sure did. But the ability in question is a secret.”

“I knew it,” he said. “Very well, let us settle this with one last decisive stri—?!”

With a loud, heavy thump, Gandez fell dramatically to the ground. Luna had hit him in the foot with an Impact Shot.

“Shame on you,” she said. “For forgetting there are two of us in this fight.”

She was too perfect!

I stepped toward Gandez and swung to knock his sword away.

“This isn’t a battle to the death,” I said. “You’ve lost your sword. Give up.”

“I hate to admit it…but you’ve got me.”

Thankfully, Gandez admitted defeat.

“So, Father, how does it feel to lose?” Schuren called from where he was watching. “You grew over reliant on your armor, trusting it more than the swordsmanship you’ve spent so much time cultivating. No wonder you lost.”

“Where do you get off?! You didn’t even do anything!”

They both had a point, but this was no time to get caught up in a father-son squabble. I turned toward the other fight going on in the yard. At a glance, Luna seemed to have the advantage. The wife had lost her elegance—her clothes were in tatters, and she looked exhausted. I moved in front of her, keeping clear of Luna’s line of fire.

“Sir Noir, she’s adept at water magic.”

That explained why the ground was wet.

“You needn’t worry,” she said. “I won’t use any more water magic.”

She raised her hands in a gesture of surrender. I supposed she was already at a disadvantage when I joined the fray.

“Mother, why?” Schuren exclaimed. “If you don’t give up, surely you can turn things around!”

“I don’t want to hear comments from the peanut gallery!”

Once again, they both had a point. Maybe I should start calling them the Trower Family of Sensible Points…. Although only to myself.

 

***

 

The fight had concluded, and we were victorious. Luna and I high-fived. Schuren seemed to want in too, so of course we indulged him. Gandez and his wife had made an excellent show of sportsmanship, and they were true to their word.

“Schuren, a promise is a promise. We’ll never insist that you marry.”

“Indeed. We were simply jealous of all the adorable grandchildren entering our social circle. Everyone says that grandchildren are so much sweeter than your own children.”

That sounded familiar. I was probably too young to understand. I mean, I didn’t have children. I hadn’t even…you know…tried to make them yet…

At any rate, Schuren couldn’t stop smiling. “I’m glad you understand. My life is happy just as it is, with my house and my servants.”

He gazed at Mirenka and his estate with profound love. I was glad that we had helped him hold onto his calm, enjoyable life. I felt a little proud for contributing to that.

And that closed the book on that incident, or so I thought—until someone ruptured the peaceful moment.

“Not long ago, Lord Schuren came to me for medical treatment,” said Luna, looking grim. “He complained that his parents were pestering him to marry, and that they were very particular about his future wife’s social standing. Namely, that a maid was out of the question.”

Everyone looked at Schuren.

“Umm, well, I’ll admit I did say that. Father flew into a rage when I even mentioned the idea.”

“Of course I did,” said Gandez. “Marrying a commoner would bring shame on the family. Your bride needs to come from a good family, at the very least.”

“You teach commoners how to wield a sword,” said Schuren. “But you’re just a bigot and a hypocrite, Father! A filthy hypocrite!”

“H-how dare—! I’m just thinking of your honor. High society is cruel.”

He was right, nobles cared a lot about appearances. They were always trying to outdo each other to assert dominance, and I was always on the losing end of those struggles. If Schuren married someone without a pedigree, people would definitely belittle him. Best-case scenario, they would gossip about it relentlessly.

Just as the two of them were about to start fighting, a loud gunshot rang out. Luna looked between them with a collected expression.

“What I’m trying to say is that I think Lord Schuren is already in love. But he decided to give up the prospect of ever marrying her, for her own sake.” Luna turned to look pointedly at Mirenka. “Isn’t that right?”

“Um, I, uh, I’m just a servant. I couldn’t…”

Mirenka was visibly shaken. Schuren went silent and looked down at the ground. This was a mess.

“I think you should be honest about your feelings,” I said.

“You’re probably right,” he said. “Ms. Luna is correct. Mirenka and I have been in love for several years, but eloping would only destroy our lives. So we decided to keep things the way they are.”

No one said a word. I hadn’t expected such a serious development. I’d thought that, when we won, we’d get a happy ending.

“Sometimes I wonder why people get married,” said Luna. “It seems like such a silly thing to get hung up on, but I think we want some tangible proof that our love endures in this uncertain world.”

I didn’t know much about marriage and the like, so it was hard for me to fully understand what she was saying, but her words seemed to resonate with Schuren.

“When you put it like that, I guess I have no choice but to risk it. Even if it means being disowned.”

He went to Mirenka and took her hands. His mother clapped.

“I approve. When you bear my grandchildren, I’ll come to visit every day.”

“I’ll come visit from time to time too,” I said.

“Me too,” Luna agreed. “I’m sure Mr. Gandez will come around when he gets to play with his grandchildren.”

“You’re monsters!” Gandez complained. “The lot of you! I… Even I… Whatever. Do as you please.”

Finally, he relented. Schuren’s eyes went wide.

“I don’t believe it. My thick-skulled father of all people…”

“You’re an adult, and you’ve lived your own life thus far. It’s up to you to decide.”

Schuren and Mirenka looked at each other, nodded, and kissed. That looked like their answer.

Now for the moment I was waiting for. We went to Schuren’s room, and I accepted my prize: the item with the Enchanted Item Perception skill. The path to obtain it had some twists and turns, but I got what I wanted in the end.

“This is the Bell of Perception,” said Schuren. “It rings in the presence of enchanted items. The closer you are to the item, the louder it will ring. However, you have to be touching the bell for it to work.”

So you couldn’t just keep it in your bag to alert you when something was nearby. That was probably better than it going off constantly. If one of your party members had an enchanted item, it would be ringing all the time. That would be a real pain.

“There’s one other thing to keep in mind,” said Schuren. “It will react to any enchanted item. So you’re most likely to acquire things with rather lackluster skills.”

Exceptionally useful items were rare, so the reverse was also true: average ones were quite common. It was entirely possible that the vast majority of your finds would be C-Grade.

“How much do you want for it?” I asked.

“I guess that was the deal, wasn’t it? How about this?” Schuren held up a finger.

“One hundred thousand? No, one million rels?”

“No. Just one. One of the lowest denomination coins you have to hand.”

“You’re incredible, Mr. Schuren!”

And just like that, I got my hands on an extremely valuable item.

I’m going to treasure it!

I said goodbye to Schuren and Luna, then went to test it out. I put my two-edged blade away in my Pocket Dimension so that it wouldn’t trigger the skill, and I picked up the bell.

Brrring! Brring!

Ooh! It reacted! There was a decent bit of foot traffic in the street, so I went searching for the item it had picked up on. It seemed to be reacting to something from one of the vendors. I tucked the bell away in my pocket and investigated the wares. They were magic stones, but they were all C-Grade and ludicrously expensive. Who even bought these?

I took out the bell again and started walking around town. It rang frequently. Usually when someone walked past me, or when I walked past a store.

“Maybe this could use an upgrade.”

I took the sentence, “senses enchanted items,” from the item’s description and opened Editor. Adjusting it to “senses enchanted items of B-Grade or higher” would only cost 800 LP, so I didn’t think twice. Now I wouldn’t be disappointed by any more C-Grade finds.

I wandered around with the new and improved Bell of Perception until it rang in front of a particular shop. Only it wasn’t the sort of place that sold enchanted items. Rather, it sold the sorts of products that housewives delighted in. I went in to check it out. The bell had definitely reacted to something, but it didn’t seem to be any of the products on display. I approached one of the clerks behind the counters, and the bell rang out loudly.

“Um, excuse me,” I said. “You wouldn’t happen to be carrying some kind of enchanted item, would you?”

The forty-something woman looked taken aback. “Huh? How did you know?”

“I have something that senses enchanted items. It reacted to something over here.”

“One moment.”

She went into the back and came back with a ring. She set it down on the counter.

“My husband found it while cleaning the house yesterday. His late grandfather had hidden it. I’m told he was fond of enchanted items…”

It was a little rusty, but otherwise it looked normal.

 

Ring of Power

Grade B

Skills: Superhuman Strength; Grip Strength (Grade A)

 

It was quite a find. I got her permission to touch it and found…it was worth 4,200 LP. I definitely wanted it, if the price was right. The woman put her hand on her chin, seemingly frustrated with the ring.

“We don’t sell jewelry here, so I’m really not sure what to do with it. I was thinking about just putting it out on the shelves anyway.”

“How much would you sell it for?”

“Ten, maybe twenty thousand? I’m not even sure that it’s enchanted.”

“Would you take fifty thousand? I’m a student at the Hero Academy and I’m collecting enchanted items.”

“Oh, my, you must be brilliant.”

She seemed genuinely impressed. I supposed the Hero Academy’s name carried weight. She was in a good mood and liked the idea of making fifty thousand rels.

“I’d feel bad taking so much from such a bright student,” she said.

“I also work as an adventurer, so I have some income. Please, don’t worry.”

“Really? I still feel kinda bad about it.”

If anything, fifty thousand was too cheap. Eventually, she accepted my offer. I left the store and immediately converted the Ring of Power. I’d used a bit of LP today, so it was good to refill my reserves.

“Yeah, worth it.”

Using the Bell of Perception to find enchanted items was working out nicely. I loitered around town until it started to get dark. I was about to head home when I made an incredible discovery: Mira, talking to someone on a side street.

“Why don’t you say that again and see what happens?!”

She was threatening a man and woman. They looked like a couple. The woman seemed especially angry, her tone cruel and pointed. I could also hear a little girl crying. What was going on? Whatever it was, Mira was cocky as ever.

“What part of ‘I’m not repeating myself’ do you not understand?” she asked. “Maybe you should get your head checked.”

“Screw you! Do you have any idea what my boyfriend was doing?!”

“Why the hell would I? Also, wow, your boyfriend was doing it? Talk about embarrassing. You basically just admitted that you’re completely incompetent.”

“Why you—”

“Waaah, Mommy!”

As they bickered, the boyfriend cracked his knuckles menacingly and the little girl cried. If I didn’t intervene, I sensed this could get serious.

“Hey, what’s the problem here?” I asked.

“Noir! Listen, these jerks were telling this girl she was a ‘nuisance.’”

“Who is she?” I asked.

“She got lost. I was helping her find her mother.”

Now it made sense. The couple must have complained, then Mira bit back at them, and well, now here we were. I was just thinking about how I’d have to delay dinner to handle this when the boyfriend grabbed me by the collar.

“You her boyfriend? You better apologize for your girl bein’ so rude. I’m an adventurer, you know. B-Rank.”

Strange, considering his low level and utter lack of skills. Of course, it wasn’t impossible for someone like him to be quite strong, but he wasn’t.

“What a coincidence,” I said. “I’m B-Rank too.”

“Huh? What?”

I grabbed his hands and twisted them.

The girlfriend wasn’t watching. “Oh, yeah, sure! You look like a total scrub.”

“W-wait,” said the man. “He’s not—aaaahh!”

I twisted harder. The man’s body convulsed, frantically trying to escape the pain. He fell to his knees.

“Wanna test your strength?” I asked. “You know, since we’re the same rank?”

“S-sorry, I’m sorry, please, let me go…”

“Excuuuuse me?” said Mira. “You’re the one who started this.”

“She’s right,” I said. “And you’re not B-Rank, you’re probably not even an adventurer.”

I got the feeling he was probably lying to his girlfriend too, so I figured I’d mention it. The girlfriend whipped around and left when I did, saying she was done with this. Mira chased after her at top speed.

“You’re not getting away that easy! You’re gonna apologize to her.”

“Excuse me…?” the girlfriend sneered.

“I should probably mention this,” I said. “She’s way stronger than me.”

The woman’s face froze, and she promptly apologized to the little girl. It was probably just for show, but Mira got what she wanted.

I stroked the little girl’s head as she cried. “Do you know your full name?” I asked tenderly.

Eventually, she managed to tell me between sobs. I asked the Great Sage where her mother was.

<One hundred and twenty yards to the east.>

I took the girl by the hand and led her to her mother. When we got close, she ran over, and her mother thanked us. Another happy ending.

Mira just stared at me, agape. “Dang, I think you might be one of the most competent men I’ve ever met.”

“I’m honored, m’lady,” I joked.

Mira linked arms with me. “All right! Let’s grab a drink! My treat!”

“Drink? You mean alcohol?”

“Natch. We’re sixteen, so it’s legal here too. Let’s go!”

Only…I wasn’t much of a drinker.

“Who goes there?” came a voice from behind us, dripping with hatred. “And who’s that young maiden?”

We turned around. It was Emma. The expression on her face almost made her look possessed.

“Wh-whoa!” I said. “Wh-wh-what’s wrong, Emma?”

“Don’t you ‘wh-wh-what’s wrong, Emma?’ me! Who is she?! Have you no shame?!”

“Oh, uhh, it’s a long story.”

I introduced Mira and explained how we met. Emma scowled the whole time. Mira tried to lighten the mood and offered her hand.

“I think bein’ a friend of a friend’s a great way to meet someone new, don’t you? Nice to meetcha.”

“I’m not so quick to make friends…unlike Noir here,” Emma declared, turning down the handshake. “I don’t trust you yet.”

I was afraid that Emma was about to explode, but uncharacteristically, Mira pulled back.

“Can’t blame you,” she said. “And I respect that. Why don’t you join us for a drink?”

Emma agreed, although she wasn’t much of a drinker either. I’d have to make sure neither of us overdid it.

 

***

 

The bar was bustling, but then, bars in town always were—no matter what day of the week. Of course, there were adventurers and soldiers in here, but there were also normal people enjoying a drink in preparation for another day’s work. For all those drinking their troubles away, there were plenty drinking just for fun.

We sat down around a table, and Mira shouted for a server to bring ale and wine, along with some food and snacks. She might have been in a foreign country, but she seemed totally at home. She was having fun and never even looked at the prices on the menu. Of course she didn’t. Money was no object to a merchant’s daughter.

“What’s with you two?” she asked. “You sure got quiet.”

“We don’t really spend much time in bars like this.”

“Really? But booze is great. What’s more fun than getting hammered, throwing down with other drunks, and beating their asses?!”

That…was probably the worst reason to drink. But since we were here, I figured I might as well indulge a little. As we picked at the snacks, drank, and talked about our lives, I started feeling mellow and a little light-headed. It made Emma open up too. She’d been extremely guarded before, but now she relaxed and even laughed along with Mira.

“Heh, I guess drinking is pretty great after all.”

Emma’s red cheeks made her look so cute, and she was so unsteady that one push would probably have knocked her over. I offered her my shoulder, and she put her head on it.

“So you’re not dating, huh?” Mira asked. “Maybe I should date you, Noir.”

Did my feelings not factor into this?

“I’m not letting you date her,” Emma snapped. “She could be a total psycho for all we know!”

“Let’s make it a competition,” said Mira. “If I win, I get to date Noir. If you win, I’ll give you a powerful weapon.”

Mira seemed a little drunk. Admittedly, the prospect of acquiring another weapon was enticing. I opened my mouth to take her up on the offer, but I didn’t get the chance.

“Bring it on!” Emma shouted.

Mira snickered. “I don’t mind tangoing with the both of you at once. After all, I am strong.”

We didn’t have much chance of winning otherwise, so we took her up on that.

Mira announced loudly that we were having a drinking contest and asked that the servers keep the tankards coming. She’d attracted a lot of attention, and people began to crowd around our table. Mira seemed to enjoy being the center of attention.

“You ready?” she asked. “Let’s get started. Here’s drink number one!”

She held a wooden mug of ale. There was something deeply threatening about the way she chugged it. It might as well have been water…

On our team, Emma went first. She drank her first helping, undaunted. But while Mira seemed almost unaffected, Emma’s face was bright red, and her eyes were vacant.

“Let’s switch,” I said. “I’ll do the next one.”

“Nooooo! It’s a competishun! I’m not gonna loosh…”

I, uh, I think you have the air of someone who’s already lost!

Still, it was time for round two.

“You remind me of an old friend of mine,” said Mira. “Yeah, she was just like you…”

She glared at Emma, eyes full of hatred. What was going on here? She finished her second drink and slammed the mug down on the table.

“She had the kind of body, face, and personality that made her popular with boys. Then she picked her stupid boyfriend over her best friend!”

Oof. She’d had some friend drama in the past. It was probably best to avoid talking about it.

“You listening?!” Mira demanded.

“Eeek!”

Emma was already past her limit. She’d started sticking her tongue out and flashing peace signs.

“Wooow, this feels kinda gooood…”

“Emma!” I protested. “I never wanted to see you humiliated like this! I’m sorry… I’m so sorry. I was too weak to protect you…”

“I’m feelin’ kinda tingly~! Yaaay, Noir, are you watching?”

Those were her last words before she fell. Fell asleep, that is.

Thank you for trying so hard, Emma. I’ll pick up where you left off.

I downed my third drink, resolved to see this through. The room started to spin, and I saw fireworks whenever I turned my head. I was getting drunk even faster than Emma. At this rate, I wouldn’t make it. I excused myself to go to the restroom, but the second I stood up, I tripped and fell on top of Mira.

“Excuse me,” she said. “Don’t put your face in my boobs.”

“Oh, sorry…”

She smelled really nice. I tried to push her away, but I ended up groping her.

“Eek! Y-you did that on purpose.”

“Soooorry, I didn’t mean to, I swear.”

I had no strength left as I stumbled to the bathroom. I slapped my cheeks to clear my thoughts. If I couldn’t win a drinking competition on my own, I figured I might as well make a skill.

Wait… Where had all that LP come from? I’d had about 9,000 when we arrived, but now it was over 10,000. Then I remembered my “encounter” with Mira just then.

Hey, look at that. I can earn LP even when I’m drunk!

I made myself the skill Heavy Drinker. It only cost 30 LP. Its effects weren’t exactly obvious, but I did feel different once I had it. My mind was clearer, the gross feeling in my chest disappeared, and I was much steadier on my feet.

“That worked well. Now I can keep fighting!”

I returned to my seat and Mira cackled. “Wow, running straight to the toilet after you cop a feel, huh? Whatever were you doing in there?”

“Look, I’m sorry about that. Forget about the me you saw a few minutes ago. I’m raring to go now.”

“I like it! Let’s drink ourselves under the table!”

I finished my fourth drink and was still totally fine. Drinks five, six, seven, and eight were much the same. I was still good by drink nine, but Mira was having trouble focusing. By drink ten, I hardly felt anything. Mira, on the other hand, was drooling uncontrollably.

“Wowieeee, you sure are…strongk…”

After drink eleven, Mira’s eyes rolled back in her head. She flashed peace signs with both hands.

“Yaaay, is everybody watching?”

Maybe there was some kind of rule at this establishment where women had to flash double peace signs when they were drunk? Either way, Mira had exhausted all her energy. She fell flat on the table and stopped moving.

“Well, I’m glad I won, but I don’t think I’m getting that weapon any time soon.”

I had to get them both home. I was trying to work out how to carry them when Mira’s father showed up.

“Mr. Stoke, over here.”

“Oh, there you are! Mira wasn’t at the inn, so I came looking for her.”

He wasn’t shocked to see her like this. He was seemingly used to her drinking, and I guessed this sort of thing happened a lot. Apparently, she held so many drinking contests back home that some people walked the other way as soon as they saw her.

Mr. Stoke picked his daughter up. “Oh, yes, I should thank you, Noir. Because of your help, I’ve found a site for the shop. Now I can prepare for the opening.”

“I’d be happy to help out when I have time.”

“It’d be much appreciated,” he said. “As a thank you, I’ll give you my daughter’s first kiss!”

He was as funny as ever. I put Emma on my back and carried her through the dark streets. I could feel her warmth against my back. She’d really pushed herself tonight.

“The moon sure is pretty tonight, Emma.”

“Noooir, don’t let go. Don’t let go of meee!”

She was half-asleep, but she hugged me tight. Even if she hadn’t, I wasn’t about to let her go.