Chapter 19: Of Trolls and Grasshoppers
Chapter 19:
Of Trolls and Grasshoppers
WE MOVED DEEPER into the forest in search of yomir herbs, but they were as hard to find as their price suggested. Everything we found was varying grades of completely poisonous. I couldn’t even imagine how you’d find the herbs without a Discerning Eye for Items. Ultimately, I decided to call on the Great Sage and ask where the nearest ones were.
<You will find precisely three plants if you walk approximately two hundred yards straight forward.>
Thankfully, this exchange barely gave me a headache. We followed the information, found the plants just where they were supposed to be, and picked them all. They really did look almost exactly like the poisonous ones. I had no idea how anyone, even an expert, could tell them apart.
Given that just one of them was worth 10,000 rels, so I wanted to try to find a few more, but Emma looked a little anxious when I mentioned it.
“Didn’t Lola say that trolls tend to appear where the plants grow?” she asked.
“Yeah, I guess she did.”
“They have really high attack power. Even one hit would be really serious.”
“Oh…” I might be officially lucky now, but I didn’t exactly want to push it. “Well, I guess we fulfilled the request. We can probably just go home.”
“That’s what I was thinking… Until I remembered that troll tongues are supposed to be delicious.” Emma bit her lip. “Eating one might give you a big LP boost, Noir.”
“Huh, I’d definitely like to try it, if possible.”
Emma nodded. “And I bet we could take one if we got the jump on it! Think the Great Sage could help us find one?”
“Lemme see.” I asked the Great Sage, and sure enough, there was a troll about three hundred yards east of us.
“Should we try to lure it out and into a trap?” Emma asked.
“It might work, but if it’s really high level, we should make a run for it.”
“Sounds good to me!”
We quickly settled on baiting a pit trap. I retrieved the shovel I’d used to unearth my sword and started digging where the ground seemed soft. I’d heard that trolls were typically over six feet tall and pretty hefty, so the hole needed to be fairly large, but my Excavate skill made quick work of it. I took care to position the pit so it was concealed by some shrubs. Trolls weren’t all that smart, so I had high hopes that it would work.
Once we were prepared, we headed toward the troll. We crept carefully, concealing the sound of our footsteps—but froze when we heard a horrible shriek just ahead. It sounded kind of like a goblin. Suddenly, an enormous shape lurched into the clearing just ahead of us—there it was, the troll we were after!
We hid ourselves behind a tree. It really was massive; its arms and legs were thick as tree trunks. It had red-brown skin and sunken eyes that made its face look almost like a mask. But what we really needed to watch out for was its weapon. It was straight-up brandishing an entire tree, freshly ripped right out of the ground. And it had just squashed a goblin like a bug.
Emma and I exchanged a silent nod and attacked simultaneously. Emma used Wind Strike, and I shot off a fifteen-inch Stone Bullet. I opted for that size because anything larger would slow the projectile down.
“Bwaaar!” The troll had pretty good reflexes and blocked both the wind blast and the stone. It was Level 25 and had the three skills: Strength Up, Physical Defense Up, and Resist Poison.
“We’re right over here! Come and get us!”
“Come on, you ogre! We’re gonna spank your ass!”
Emma…that’s a troll, not an ogre. And what kind of taunt is that?
“Bwaaaaaarh!”
Either way, it worked pretty darn well. I probably owed her an apology.
Once we’d provoked the troll into giving chase, we took off. The troll was as slow as it looked, and we easily put distance between us. We took care not to get too far ahead, held our breath, and jumped.
“Hyup!”
We vaulted over the shrubs and landed on the other side of the hole. The troll grew closer, its lumbering footsteps echoing through the forest.
Fall in! Don’t notice it!
But something seemed to catch the troll’s attention and—
“Hyup!”
The troll leaped over it, just like we just had. It wasn’t just a leap either, it went flying. The troll soared through the air over our heads—giving us an unsettlingly clear view of something no one deserved to see—and landed behind us.
“Noir, I saw right between its leeeegs…”
“Yeah… My eyes will never be the same again…”
As frustrating as it was that our plan failed, we couldn’t let it get to us. We had to switch gears to a direct confrontation. The troll was nothing compared to a dead reaper, but its attack power was so high, we couldn’t afford to drop our guard.
“Bwar bwar bwaaarh!”
The troll swung its tree around, but it was pretty slow and none of the swings hit us. Even so, we didn’t dare approach. It withstood a direct hit from Emma’s Wind Strike just fine, and my Stone Bullets were physical attacks, so they didn’t do much damage. I considered roasting it with Holy Flame, but if the tongue got burned, it would defeat the whole purpose of this diversion.
“Noir, think you could distract it for just a second? I’m gonna go for its neck.”
“Got it!”
The most important part of this kind of distraction was making sure that the target couldn’t act. The troll was mindlessly roaring and swinging its tree-club around like it was the only trick its tiny brain was capable of retaining. I needed to come up with something that it would actually notice.
200lb Weight Increase — 200 LP
It would cost me another 800 LP to Bestow it on the troll. I didn’t even have 1,000 LP left, so that was out. But then I thought about Bestowing it on the tree. That dropped the cost of Bestowing to a mere 50 LP, probably because the tree was a low-grade item. I promptly spent the 250 LP required, drastically increasing the weight of the troll’s impromptu weapon.
“Hrngh?!”
The tree smashed into the ground with a thud. The troll couldn’t support it anymore. Its eyes went wide with confusion.
“Emma!”
“I got this!”
Emma’s daggers neatly pierced both sides of the troll’s head, delving into its brain and securing our teamwork victory. Once the giant collapsed, Emma even leveled up.
After confirming it was dead, she looked at me, slightly puzzled. “What’d you do?”
“I made its weapon heavier.”
“Oh! Well, we both got out unharmed, so I guess that was the right move.”
“Yeah. Let’s get that tongue and go home.”
It turned out troll tongues were surprisingly long, and a luscious pink color too.
Luckily, we made it back to the guild hall before night fell and completed the request. We sold the three plants for a profit of 30,000 rels, which I split evenly with Emma.
“See you again tomorrow! Bye!”
“Bye!”
At last, I headed home. When I asked my mother if she’d like to share the troll tongue with me, she grinned from ear to ear. Apparently, she’d had it before and, judging from her reaction, I was in for a treat. And so the Stardia family dinner table looked a little more sumptuous than usual with the eye-catching additions of a perfectly grilled troll tongue and inky black insects.
“So these grasshoppers were pickled in soy?” I asked.
“Yes, it’s very tasty.”
My mother hummed to herself, but Alice and my father looked like death had touched their very souls. I couldn’t exactly blame them, a pile of dead bugs was pretty grotesque by most standards.
“Would you like some, Noir?” my mother asked.
“S-sure.”
Soy sauce came to this world several hundred years ago when a chef from an alternate dimension ended up here and popularized it. Apparently, he also introduced miso and seven-spice blend, along with numerous recipes. That’s where chopsticks came from too, though we were more of a knife and fork family.
“Did this recipe come from that parallel universe?” I asked.
“It did. We must be grateful to them. Come on now,” my mother said, urging me to eat.
I skewered a grasshopper with my fork and brought it to my mouth. It took all my courage just to open my mouth and place it on my tongue. I mean, it might be dead, but it was still a little black critter going down my throat.
To my surprise, it was actually pretty tasty. It had a pleasant crunch and was a lot more flavorful than I’d expected—nice and sweet and savory. I’d had shrimp prepared in a similar fashion, and this wasn’t all that different. They didn’t smell weird or anything either. Maybe grasshoppers didn’t taste like much to begin with. My mother was waiting to hear my thoughts, so I gave her my honest—surprisingly pleased—opinion.
“I knew you’d get it!” She looked so happy. I guess she was usually the odd one out, so she was excited to finally have someone to share her tastes with.
“I-I’ve lost my dearest brother to the other camp…” said Alice.
“No, he isn’t lost,” said father. “The pure, sweet Noir we once knew no longer exists. He’s gone.”
“Brother dearest, please come back to us…”
“You’re going to make your father cry…”
My father and Alice were blowing the whole situation out of proportion. If nothing else, it wasn’t that bad. I could even see myself getting hooked on the little guys.
Now the troll tongue, on the other hand, had a much more exciting flavor. It was seasoned with only a light sprinkling of salt but it had the most delightful texture. It reminded me a little of beef tongue. It was so firm I could have chewed on it forever—and the more I chewed, the more the delicious flavor filled my mouth. To top it all off, my LP shot up to 1,500!
I’d already earned over a million rels today, too. A perfect end to a perfect first day of school!