Chapter 22: Luna, the Untainted Cleric

Chapter 22:
Luna, the Untainted Cleric

 

THOSE TWO VAGUELY EROTIC encounters must’ve done something, because my LP shot up to almost 1,000. I could understand how falling into Emma’s boobs would do it, but had I even got LP from seeing that granny’s panties? I wasn’t really sure how to feel about that. Also, it seemed like the Lucky Lecher skill triggered pretty frequently, so I tried editing it while we were on our way to the meeting.

 

Lucky Lecher: Causes erotic situations to occur with nearby members of the opposite sex.

 

It just needed a little tweaking.

 

Add “rarely” — 10 LP

 

The LP cost was so low, I got curious and looked at what the opposite would cost.

 

Add “very frequently” — 1,000 LP

 

It made sense. Since these were considered “lucky” occurrences, increasing their frequency was considerably more valuable than the reverse. I went with the original plan and added “rarely” to the description. Even if the skill earned me LP, it’d become a reputation problem if something like that happened every time I met a woman. I added one more sentence to the description for good measure.

 

Add “skill will not trigger during combat or other serious situations” — 150 LP

 

The cost wasn’t an issue, so I added the phrase. I mean, getting a face full of boobs in the heat of battle could mean death. And for more serious situations, well, who wanted to be the creep with his head up someone’s skirt in the middle of a funeral or something?

“Noir! Over there!”

Two figures stood conspicuously in front of a nearby restaurant. Lola was quite pretty to begin with, but the woman standing next to her was out-of-this-world gorgeous. The people passing by did a full triple-take when they saw her. She had silky silver hair and her face was made up of the most delicate features. Her skin was smooth and pale as the driven snow, her outfit highlighted her slender figure, she had some kind of magical firearm attached to her hip, and her ears were slightly pointed. There was no question that she had some elven blood in her. All in all, she was a total knockout.

Lola waved us over. “Mr. Noir, over here!”

“Sorry we’re late.”

“Oh no, we just got here ourselves. This is my friend, Luna Heela.”

“Nice to meet you,” said Luna. “Lola has told me so much about you, Sir Noir. I have been looking forward to speaking with you.” She offered me her hand with a gentle smile.

I was so distracted by her beauty that it took me a second to respond. When I finally snapped out of it, I hurried to shake her hand and introduce myself. “Oh no, it’s my pleasure.”

“We have a reservation, so go on in.”

I looked Luna over as we walked in. Her legs were long and her butt was perky. The line of her back was—oh boy. Uh oh. Maybe I was a pervert.

“How am I supposed to compete with that? Genetics sure are cruel.” Emma seemed way depressed. Elves were well known for their to-die-for physique and unearthly beauty.

I figured I should try to cheer her up. “You have your own unique charms, Emma.”

“Really? Like what?”

“Like when your nice half comes out.”

“Other than that! Praise my appearance! Tell me what parts of me are better!”

“Your chest…”

“I thought you’d go there.”

“Okay, okay, then how about how nice you smell?”

“Oh, Noir, you’re such a perv.”

I couldn’t exactly deny that. I was pretty sure I heard someone once say that men took one step closer to pervert-dom with each year they aged. Then I remembered who said it! It was my own father. Great!

We all sat down at the back of the restaurant. Luna’s eyes were fixed intently on me.

“D-do I have something on my face?” I asked.

“No, you don’t. I just thought you looked kind of cute. I assumed you would be much rougher and more of a lech.”

“Lola! Just what have you been saying about me?”

“Just about how you made me lift up my skirt and flash you in the middle of the guild hall.” Lola’s face was bright red. She stuck her tongue out at me and winked.

Why would you tell her that?! I groaned.

“Lola’s no saint either,” said Luna. “She was just laughing and asking for advice on how to break you. Made me think twice about being friends with her.”

“Hey, Luna, why don’t we get down to business?” Lola looked genuinely terrifying, forcing a smile as a vein throbbed in her forehead.

I made a point to quickly order some food and change the subject. “We have a classmate with a really serious curse,” I explained. “And I heard you have a skill that can lift curses, Luna.”

“Mind if I ask this person’s name?”

“Maria. She’s a duke’s eldest daughter.”

“Thought so.” Luna’s expression darkened. She seemed familiar with Maria already. That didn’t bode well. Her tone grew serious as she continued. “So, a while ago, I got a job. Someone wanted me to lift a curse, but when I use my skills on extremely serious curses…”

“What happens?”

“Nothing, never mind that. Anyway, it was beyond my skills, so I had to turn it down.” Luna looked dejected. It was a cleric’s job to heal people and intercede with the gods for them, so it must’ve been really hard on her to admit this failure.

What a good person, I thought.

“How is she now?” Luna asked. “As I understand it, her curse causes her intense physical pain.”

“At this rate, she’s going to die soon,” I admitted.

“What?! Die?!”

“It’s called the Sixteenth Year Death Curse. Less than one percent of people survive it.”

“I didn’t realize it was that serious…” It seemed like Luna really hadn’t been told this was a life and death issue. Curse skills that caused death were actually pretty rare. Needless to say, Luna was shocked by the news. She had gone as pale as a ghost and couldn’t bring herself to touch her food. I took the opportunity to use Discerning Eye.

 

Name: Luna Heela

Age: 17

Species: Half-Elf

Level: 35

Occupation: Cleric; Adventurer

Skills: Magical Firearms (Grade B); Energizing Shot; Healing Shot; Fainting Spell; Lift Curse

 

I was curious about the last two, but I started by looking into the Lift Curse skill.

 

Lift Curse: Erases curse skills. However, the user’s lifespan is reduced in proportion to the strength of the curse.

 

Oof. Well, that explained it. Luna could probably lift Maria’s curse, but it would severely shorten Luna’s life. Elves have long lifespans, but everything pointed to the Sixteenth Year Death Curse being a real doozy. To get rid of it, Luna’s sacrifice would be significant.

When we left the restaurant, Luna looked up at the crimson sky. Her lips tensed and she turned to look at me with a gallant expression. “Sir Noir, please take me to Maria. This time, I’m going to lift the curse.”

“Luna? I thought you couldn’t do it?” Judging from Lola’s reaction, Luna hadn’t explained the true cost of her skill. Or, if Lola did know about it, she was trying to protect her friend.

I asked to speak to Luna alone, so I could be frank. Emma and Lola gave us some space, even though they seemed like they were on the verge of a fight. They really didn’t get along very well.

“Did Lola tell you about my abilities?” I asked.

“Of course not. Receptionists are required to keep their clients’ information private. Lola’s not the kind of girl who would violate someone’s privacy.”

“All right, then. I admit I used Discerning Eye to look at your Lift Curse ability,” I said. “There’s a trade-off, isn’t there? What would happen if you saved Maria?”

“I…might die.” Luna looked away.

“And how many people would be sad if you were gone, Luna?”

“I’m not very important. Maybe seven thousand or so…”

“Seven tho—”

“Ha ha, I kid, I kid. I’m not that popular. But…I want to save her, even if it costs my life. I can’t just ignore someone in need. My mother never did.”

Luna explained that her mother had possessed Lift Curse as well, and it had the same parameters as Luna’s skill. One day, her mother used it to help a suffering child, even knowing it would drastically shorten her life. Though she was now gone, her daughter strove to carry on her legacy.

Crash!

A sudden loud noise came from behind me. I whirled. It looked like the sign for one of the nearby shops had toppled off the building.

“Someone was hit! Help! Does anyone here have healing magic?!”

The victim was a young boy. The sign had struck him as he walked by. He was now sprawled on the street, unconscious.

Luna drew her weapon from its holster and with a brave look on her face, aimed at the boy. “Sometimes I wonder,” she said. “What is the meaning of life, anyway?”

“I still don’t have an answer to that one myself.”

“Well, that’s okay. I’m sure you’ll find it eventually.”

“Did you find your answer?” I asked.

“I did. Saving people and bringing smiles to their faces gives my life meaning. That’s why I’m alive—Healing Shot!” White light gathered at the head of her gun. Magical firearms used their user’s magic as projectiles. However, this white light wasn’t an offensive spell, but a healing one.

Click!

She pulled the trigger and a powerful boom rumbled through the street. A beam of white light about as big around as a person’s head shot out of her gun at incredible speed. It was instantly absorbed into the victim’s body and—

“Ngh…ugh…”

“Ohh! He woke up! Are you okay?!”

The boy, who likely would have died without intervention, miraculously recovered.

Fwump!

In the same moment, Luna collapsed.

“Luna?!” I knelt down to help her up.

“I don’t wanna…die…”

I couldn’t tell if she was mumbling, talking in her sleep, or just delirious. Was she talking about the cost of using Lift Curse? As I pulled her into my arms, I was shocked to see her eyes roll back into her head. She was foaming at the mouth and her body was convulsing. What happened to that fearless hero from earlier?!

“Curses…are scary…”

I have some serious doubts about this girl now!