Chapter 27: Epilogue

Chapter 27:
Epilogue

 

AFTER I SATISFIED Ms. Elena with my shoulder rub, she sat on me again, but with a special twist this time. Even if teacher-student relationships weren’t strictly forbidden at the Academy, we realized we were crossing a lot of lines, so we headed into a different room to avoid prying eyes.

Ms. Elena dominated my entire body with her ass, alternately grinding and gently pressing. Her “massage” went on for several minutes, and when she was done I had over 4,500 LP.

“Thanks, Ms. Elena.”

“Keep this between us. I might have to ask you to rub my shoulders again.”

“Happily.”

“Heh.”

“Heh.”

We exchanged smiles. We both saw each other as a convenient device to get what we wanted. I was her massage machine and she was my LP-recharge device. It was a decidedly adult relationship, that started out light and gradually got more thrilling…

“You smell like danger, Ms. Elena.”

“All right, enough nonsense. Get back to class.”

She pushed me out of the room with her ass and, having finally returned to my senses, I headed back to the classroom.

After school, Emma and I went to visit Luna. She was in the middle of her work at the temple.

“Lady Cleric, I feel unwell.”

There were other clerics offering medical care, but Luna was the only one with a long line. The first thing she did was examine her patients’ faces.

“I see you have bags under your eyes. Are you sure you’re not overworking yourself?”

“Work’s been stressful lately, and I’ve been having a hard time sleeping.”

“People need rest, so you should try not to push yourself too hard. Healing Shot!”

She fired a white orb of light from her magical gun and the man visibly improved.

“Thank you, Lady Cleric!”

“Make sure you don’t push yourself too hard. Come back if you start feeling bad.”

Though Luna was still only seventeen, she had no trouble handling adults and even winning their respect. While I admired her, Emma asked a foreboding question: “Hey, you don’t think she’s going to faint again, do you?”

“I think she’s keeping her magic usage in check.”

“So, it only happens when she fires an especially powerful shot?”

“I think so. Plus, she’s got enough experience to put her over Level 30. I don’t think there’s much to worry about.”

I assumed she should be fine as long as she didn’t use a full-power Healing Shot again, but that just goes to show that when you assume things, you make an ass out of—well, mostly just me in this case. Just as I was feeling at ease, Luna collapsed.

What?! I just said there wasn’t anything to worry about and you collapse?!

“Hey! Lady Luna fainted again. Hurry it up.”

Some of the other clerics rushed over and started to treat her. They had her up in no time.

“Ahhh, I-I’m fine…” she said.

The whole ordeal seemed pretty painful to me, but Luna continued her work even afterward. According to the other clerics, she keeled over at least two or three times a day.

“Well, of course that happens. There are just too many patients,” Emma pointed out.

“Seriously. It must be hard for her since she’s shouldering most of the work.”

Once Luna had worked through her entire line, we went over to her.

“Nice work,” I said. “You must be exhausted.”

She winced. “You saw me embarrass myself again…”

“Oh no, don’t feel embarrassed—I think your dedication to the job is incredible.”

Luna glanced away, as if she didn’t want me to see her face. “By the way, Sir Noir, how are you doing for LP?”

“Actually, I have even more than the amount required now, so if you don’t mind, I’ll go ahead and Edit your skill.”

With that, I adjusted the cost of Luna’s Lift Curse skill—changing it from reducing her lifespan to reducing her finances. It cost me 4,000 LP. If I’d gone for personal effects instead of finances, the cost would have dropped to 3,500, but I figured money made more sense. After all, “personal effects” could encompass really critical things like family heirlooms or her weapon.

I looked at her Fainting Spell skill while I was at it, to see if there was anything I could do to fix it, but removing it would have cost another 3,000 LP. Luna was probably pretty used to it, but I still wanted to cure her someday.

After this, the three of us headed to Maria’s house. When we got to the front door, Emma said she wasn’t coming in with us.

“Are you sure?” I asked.

“Yeah. I’ll wait outside. I wouldn’t want to distract you.”

“All right.”

On that note, the butler showed Luna and I into the Albert residence, where Luna swiftly lifted Maria’s curse, leaving no trace that it ever existed.

 

***

 

“How’d it go?” Emma asked as we left.

I flashed her a thumbs up and she clapped her hands for joy before whispering to Luna. “So…in love…Lady Maria?”

“I don’t…look… I’m sure Sir Noir…infatuated with…”

“Ugh… More…rivals to…”

“Actually, I…maybe…”

“Huh?!” Emma made a terribly unladylike face and Luna squirmed bashfully.

I was dying to know what they were talking about. I slithered over to them but, for some reason, Emma got mad at me.

“Noir, you big, stupid dummy!”

“Huh? What did I do now?”

“Ugh, I’ve always known you were useless. You’re such a softy.”

“You used to say that was a good thing.”

“Only when you’re nice to boys!”

“I feel like people are going to take that the wrong way.”

“Now, now, you two,” said Luna. “This is a happy day, no need to fight.”

“Hmmph!” Emma didn’t seem to agree, but her mood quickly improved and she suggested we have dinner together at my house.

“Of course, Luna’s invited too,” she said.

“I’d be happy to,” said Luna. “Assuming I’m not intruding.”

“My house might be a little too small to welcome a great cleric,” I said.

“Sir Noir,” said Luna. “Did you know I was also an adventurer with Odin?”

“Oh, uh, yeah, I did,” I said. Lola had told me so, though I was a little surprised by the change in subject.

“Well, um, s-so, about that…” Luna’s face grew a bit flushed and she started to squirm. She seemed more nervous than embarrassed. “W-would you take me on as another slave—I mean, party member?”

“Are my ears playing tricks on me or did this girl seriously just say the word ‘slave?’” Emma was shocked. And, okay, who hasn’t had a slip of the tongue before? But slave?

“I don’t mind if you use me like a slave,” Luna interrupted. “Let me join your party!”

“Oh, sure,” I said, relieved that was all she wanted.

“Thanks!”

“Ew, I’m against it.”

Emma looked put out, but Luna was jumping for joy. In terms of ability and personality there was no reason to turn her down, though it was pretty weird to see the usually calm, collected Luna so excited.

“I’ve been adventuring on my own for such a long time,” she admitted.

“Surely people have invited you to join their parties before?”

“Well, with my fainting condition, I’d just be a burden on other people, so I never…”

I was pretty sure there were people who would be into that, but that was a different can of worms. At any rate, we went to buy ingredients for dinner, which was now also something of a celebration of our new party.

When we got back, Alice and my parents were already home and making preparations for a barbecue. It seemed like they were in the mood to indulge after I’d given them all that money. I knew I couldn’t trust my father with it.

“Oh, Noir, who’s this beauty you brought with you?!”

“Let me introduce you, father. This is Luna.”

“I work as a cleric. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“Wow, Noir, your girlfriend is a half-elf and a cleric? Even more things I can brag about.”

“Sorry to disappoint you father, but she’s not my girlfriend.”

“You know, your mother and I didn’t start out as romantic partners, but look at us now.”

My father hugged my mother to illustrate. She ignored him and continued cutting up ingredients. It didn’t really do much for his point, and Emma smacking him and calling him a dummy didn’t help either.

“But mother,” I said. “I think we’re in a bit of a pickle.”

“You might be right.”

Since we had all been shopping, we had quite a lot of food. Storing the extras in my Pocket Dimension was always an option, but it still seemed a shame.

There was a knock at the door.

“Oh, do we have more guests?” my mother asked. She quickly went to answer it.

I assumed it was just neighbors and kept preparing dinner, but I was wrong. At my mother’s shocked gasp, I turned.

“Lady Maria…?”

Maria was there with what looked like her whole family, and they were bowing deeply. The others must’ve been her parents and brother—I mean, they were all so attractive and refined, they had to be from the highest echelon of society. The second my family recognized Duke Albert, we immediately bowed in turn. Although, if I was being honest, the Duke and the others were less bowing and more prostrating themselves on the floor. The Stardia household was soon in a complete uproar.

“Wh-what are you doing?!” said my father. “Please, raise your head! Right, honey?”

“Y-yes, please!” my mother cried. “I haven’t had the chance to mop those flo—please, raise your head.”

“O-o-oh no, oh no! Brother dearest, whatever do I do? I spilled soy sauce over there earlier…”

Duke Albert pulled his forehead off the floor and smiled. “Indeed, it does smell of soy sauce.”

“Our most humble apologies!”

This time, the Stardia family got down on the floor and Maria’s family members all got up, their smiles never faltering.

“We should be apologizing for our intrusion. But we had to give our thanks to Noir and Luna.”

“Huh?”

My family didn’t understand what was going on. It had always felt a little presumptuous to tell them what I was attempting to do. But the duke explained the situation himself—that Maria had been cursed with a deadly skill, and thanks to my and Luna’s efforts, she was free.

“Please allow us to thank you again properly later,” he said. “We just couldn’t bear not saying something immediately.”

“Oh no, please,” I said. “You’re most welcome in our home, as tiny as it is. Ha ha.”

After all, they were already here.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” the duke asked.

“Of course not. It turns out we have too much food tonight anyway. Your family’s welcome to come in.”

“Very well, I think we’ll take you up on that invitation.”

And that was how the Albert family ended up having dinner with us. The Stardia house was pretty tight with so many people, but everyone had a good time, so what did that matter?

“Hey, look at their eyes,” Emma whispered.

“Huh?”

“Don’t they look all swollen and red?”

Emma was right, Maria’s family’s eyes were all thoroughly reddened.

“They were totally crying. This could be it,” said my father.

“Yes,” my mother agreed. “This could be our chance!”

I glanced over at them. Needless to say, they were hard at work trying to ingratiate themselves to the duke’s household.

That’s my family for you.