Chapter 1: Payday!

Chapter 1:
Payday!

 

ALL HER LIFE, Maria had been afflicted with the terrible Sixteenth Year Death Curse, but with our help, she was saved.

In the week after, I fell into a more or less comfortable rhythm as a student and part-time adventurer. One day, my new party and I headed out to eradicate a monster, specifically a lizardman.

We stared the creature down in the middle of a grassy plain. My childhood friend Emma readied her daggers. “I’m gonna head in. Back me up, guys.”

“We’ve got you.”

“Yeah!”

There was only one lizardman, but we couldn’t let our guard down. If nothing else, the thing was big. Normal lizardmen were human-sized, but this guy was a ten-foot-tall mutant with green sandpapery skin and limbs like logs.

 

Name: Lizardman

Level: 31

Skills: Beefy; Slash Resistance (Grade C); Tough Skin

 

It had high defense, but as a result, it was slow. Emma accounted for this deficiency and darted behind it. In two quick slashes, she hit the creature with her signature dual daggers.

“Huh…?”

Her attack seemed to glance right off the lizardman. To make matters worse, her weapons were damaged in the attempt. She had the creature’s C-Grade Slash Resistance to thank for that.

The shock made Emma drop her guard for a split second. The lizardman took advantage of her falter and flung its massive arm in her direction.

Luna, our cleric, didn’t miss a beat. She readied her magic gun and fired three times in rapid succession. An enchanted orange light burst from the muzzle and dug a line of tiny holes down the creature’s shoulder. The second Luna was finished, the lizardman’s arm plopped to the ground. It was seriously impressive.

“Ugh…” Luna muttered.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“I just feel a little dizzy,” said Luna. “Sorry, could you handle the rest?”

“You bet.”

Magical Fusion would do the trick. With that skill, I combined Holy Flame and Stone Bullet and fired my new spell straight at the creature’s heart.

“Ugh—!”

I missed a killing blow, but the projectile tore off the lizardman’s remaining arm. Could’ve been worse.

“I’ll handle it!” Emma might have lost her weapons, but she still had her Wind Strike spell. She blasted it into the lizardman’s stomach, but the creature just flashed a smirk.

Emma gaped. “But how…”

“Emma, get away from that thing!” I grabbed my sword and threw myself forward.

No matter how high the lizardman’s defenses were, my sword had the skill Sharp Edge. However, midway through my dashing leap, I tripped. The culprit looked like some kind of crap. Aughhh, gross, gross, gross!

Just then a sharp kick flew over my head. It would have crushed my bones if I hadn’t fallen. That Good Luck skill sure was handy.

Regardless, I scrambled up and lunged, stabbing the lizardman in the heart. A narrow victory for sure.

“Heh, I can’t even joke about how you really stepped in it,” Emma snickered.

“Hey, I mighta lost my head if I hadn’t!” I protested.

“Ah, yeah, I guess so…” She sighed. “I ended up being pretty much useless, huh? Sorry about that.”

“When you get new weapons, you should get some with the Sharp Edge skill. I’ll help you look.”

“Aw, thanks.”

Luna regained her balance and came over. I was relieved to see that she was feeling better.

“I have never seen a spell quite like the one you just cast, Sir Noir,” she said.

“Enh, I just used Magical Fusion to combine Holy Flame and Stone Bullet.”

“You really can do anything, huh…? I think I’m jealous.”

“No, no, it’s nothing,” I insisted. “Okay, we should probably head back.”

The three of us worked together to butcher the creature’s remains.

 

20× Lizardman Nails (Grade C)

2× Lizardman Arms (Grade C)

2× Lizardman Legs (Grade C)

2× Lizardman Testes (Grade C)

 

I tucked them away into my Pocket Dimension. We only needed the arms to complete this guild-assigned mission, anyway. We could figure out what to do with the rest later.

Once we were back at the guild hall, we showed Lola the proof of our conquest.

“Was it really that big?!” she exclaimed.

“Yup. Over ten feet tall,” I said.

“Wow…and who delivered the finishing blow?”

“Technically, I did, but it was really more of a fluke.”

“Why am I not surprised? This goes to you then, Mr. Noir.” Lola handed me a slip of paper. The phrase “Coupon for a thirty-minute Shoulder Rub from Lola” was written on it in her adorable handwriting.

Ha! This really takes me back. I’m pretty sure I gave my parents one of these when I was a kid.

“Hee hee, were you hoping for something else?” Lola asked. “You’re going to have to work harder for that.”

“Oh, no,” said Luna. “This is about exactly what I’ve come to expect from you, Lola.”

“Please! I’m an egalitarian.”

“Really now? Then where are my and Lady Emma’s rewards?”

“You don’t get any.”

“Egalitarian my butt.”

Whatever the others said, I was pretty happy with this coupon. I was definitely going to cash in on it someday.

Not soon, though—I realized how late it was the second we left the guild hall. I was supposed to meet the duke.

“I’m sorry, Emma!” I apologized. “I’ll have to help you find new daggers another time.”

“No problem!” she said. “You two better not mess anything up, okay?”

“I’ll try my best.”

Luna and I left Emma and headed across town at a clip to Maria’s house. When we knocked on the door of the Albert family estate, Maria dashed to the door.

“Haaah, haaah, welcome! Please, do come in!”

“Lady Maria, did you really run out just to greet us?”

“I was, just, so looking, forward, to seeing you two!”

“Us ‘two’?” Luna asked as she shot me a meaningful glance. “Is that so…?”

Whatever the case, Maria led us into her home. Maids and butlers lined the walls of the reception room, and Duke Albert stood from a grand chair to greet us. “It gladdens me to see you both. Please, take a seat.”

A butler brought out some fancy-looking tea. When I took a sip, my suspicions were confirmed—it tasted as delicious as it appeared. It might well have been the most expensive thing I’d ever put in my mouth.

“It is my wish to once more thank you for lifting Maria’s curse,” said the duke. “We were at a complete loss for what to do. If you had not entered our lives, our family’s future would have been grim indeed.”

“Has Maria’s condition dipped since the removal?”

“Not a bit. In fact, it has become difficult to believe she was ever so afflicted. Thanks to your efforts, she has many bright days ahead.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” I said.

“As they say, you cannot put a price on good health.”

As Luna and I relaxed with relief, the duke snapped his fingers. Two maids appeared and set a hefty pair of leather bags down in front of each of us.

“Open them,” the duke insisted.

“Huh?”

We did as he asked and what do you think we found? Money. Money-money. Like, the bags were jam-packed with brilliant, gleaming coins kind of money.

“Wh-wh-what?” I stammered.

“Think of it as payment. Although, it’s hardly enough.”

Hardly enough? There had to be ten—no, twenty million rels in there!

“Within, you should find a hundred million rels each. Please, take it.”

“This is really too…”

“Not another word. I desire for us to have a long and fruitful relationship. If you are ever in need of anything whatsoever, you need only ask.”

I had never seen so much money in my life. From that point forward, everything else the duke said just went in one ear and out the other. A strange tingly sensation overcame my body, and I didn’t snap out of my daze until it was time to leave. I took care not to drop the bag on my way out.

“I’m sure you will be able to handle yourself, Mr. Noir, but do take care to look out for robbers,” Maria said.

Hit with the sudden dreadful realization that the world was full of potential enemies, Luna and I watched each other’s backs as we walked home, clutching our bags.

“I still can’t really believe he gave us all this,” I said. “I would never have guessed…”

“Y-yes, but I can’t really complain,” said Luna. “After I lifted the curse last week, all my savings suddenly disappeared. I was utterly broke.”

“I wish you’d said something. Though, I guess it’s really my fault for forgetting about that side-effect.” In order to let Luna use her skill to cure Maria, I’d had to do a little tweaking to keep her from dying herself. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry at all. Especially not now!” Luna cheerfully hugged her bag.

“Good point! No need to worry when you’re carrying that kind of weight.”

“The weight of happiness!”

“You said it!”

We were in high spirits when we parted. I was less than a ten-minute walk from home, but without Luna to guard my blind spot, I started to feel vulnerable—like everyone who passed had their eyes on my bag. I tried to act nonchalant to avoid any unwanted attention and kept my guard up the whole way back.

About ten yards from the Stardia estate, it suddenly hit me: I could have just hucked my loot into my Pocket Dimension!

“Oh my god, I’m such an idiot!”

I guess it’s true that money does strange things to people.