Chapter 10: Everything Is Going Swimmingly

Chapter 10:
Everything Is Going Swimmingly

 

IT WOULD BE NIGHT SOON, so I couldn’t keep fooling around with Emma forever. The three of us collected materials from the jack-o’-lanterns.

 

18× Jack-o’-lantern Hands (Grade C)

18× Jack-o’-lantern Feet (Grade C)

 

We only needed ten hands for the request. We’d probably sell off the rest later, so I tucked them away in my Pocket Dimension.

“Sir Noir, that’s a terribly convenient skill.”

“There are C to S-Grade variants. Mine’s only C-Grade, but it’s still about as big as a room.”

“Incredible,” said Luna. “You’ll have plenty of space as long as we don’t take down an especially large monster.”

“Especially large…?”

I hadn’t thought about that. If we took down a dragon, there would likely be plenty of useful parts. There were a number of larger creatures in the hidden dungeon too. I needed to increase the grade on my Pocket Dimension the next time I had some extra LP.

“What’s up, Emma? Why are you staring at that jack-o’-lantern head?”

“I was just thinking, like…could you eat this?”

“What?”

“Like I said, would you try eating it?”

“Oh, I get it.”

They were technically pumpkins. More importantly, the ways I could earn LP were: consuming particularly delectable food; engaging in sexual activity with attractive members of the opposite sex; fulfilling a desire for financial or material gain; or satisfying any other basic desires (including the production of offspring).

But there were some particularly easy ways to earn some extra LP, like eating unsettling-yet-delicious food items or going on a shopping spree.

“I think I’ll ask my mother to cook it.”

It didn’t seem to be poisonous, so I tucked the head away in my Pocket Dimension and the three of us headed back.

“I shouldn’t have expected any less from you, Mr. Noir! You cleared that request in no time.” Lola brought her hands together in joy, wearing the biggest smile.

We sold off the rest of the jack-o’-lantern parts and were paid for fulfilling the request. Even after we split the proceeds, I ended up with thirty thousand rels. I was still occasionally bowled over with gratitude for how I’d been able to pull myself and my family out of poverty and increase our standard of living. I could buy LP with money too, so it had plenty of uses. All the more reason to keep earning!

“So, about your next request…”

“Got anything good for us?”

“We have a series of holidays coming up the day after tomorrow, is the Hero Academy off?”

“Yup.”

We had two days off for the gods’ birthday and it lined up with two normal days off, giving us a four-day weekend.

“Then why not go on a bit of an expedition and take out some thieves? It’ll be worth quite a lot of points.”

“Huh. I mean, I’m totally cool with that.”

Emma and Luna had no objections either, so Lola continued.

“It’s a request from the head of Amon Village. He wants to be rid of the thieves that keep looting the village. But there are two complicating factors. First: a round trip to Amon Village takes about three days.”

So basically, to get it done over a four-day weekend, we’d have to finish the job and head back in one day. I had an idea for how to handle that, however.

“I was thinking, maybe I could ask Tigerson to help get us there and back.”

“That’s an excellent idea!” said Lola “You’re always so quick-witted, Mr. Noir.”

“Oh, you flatter me.”

“You’re such a dummy, Noir,” Emma muttered. “Wipe that stupid grin off your face.”

I did as Emma instructed and asked about the second issue.

“This particular request was given a D-Grade classification,” said Lola, “but honestly, I think it could easily be C-Grade. There are some powerful monsters called magic eaters living near Amon village. Promise me that if you encounter one, you’ll run.”

The request had been on the books for over ten days. Those powerful monsters were likely the reason why no one had taken it yet.

“The low compensation probably isn’t helping matters…” I said.

If the village wasn’t particularly wealthy, they probably didn’t have much to offer. I felt bad for them. And anyway, you know…there had to be kids in Amon.

“I’ll take it. If it’ll get us closer to going up a grade, it’ll be more than worth it. Plus…I kinda feel like I can’t not help.”

Lola gave me a tender look. “You really are a good person, Mr. Noir. A lot of adventurers are only concerned with material gain and their own safety.”

“Sir Noir proved he was a man of honor when he assisted Lady Maria,” said Luna. “If nothing else, I intend to assist him as his friend.”

There was no better feeling than having the trust of a friend. Luna tried to clasp my hand but Lola and Emma chopped their way between us.

“Where do you get off trying to casually score points like that, Luna? I’m going to have to have a talk with you later. As a friend.”

“Ms. Luna, you really overstepped there.”

“L-Look, don’t chop me at full force!”

“Shut up!” Lola and Emma shouted with overwhelming force.

Luna fell silent. I was starting to worry for the village we were supposed to help… At any rate, we accepted the request. Our vacation started in two days, so we had a bit of time to prepare.

After we parted ways, I headed straight home. I couldn’t help but smile when Tigerson ran up to greet me.

<I have been waiting for you for ages, Noir!>

“Sorry about that, I had a request to take care of.”

<I see. I suppose you had no choice, then. Well, remember, I cannot say “no” to you, No-ir.>

“You tell jokes now, Tigerson?”

<Your father is a great teacher.>

I glanced into the living room, where my father was cheering and flashing a peace sign with a smug look on his face. I pretended not to see.

“My father’s sense of humor is a little dubious, so you might want to use his jokes sparingly.”

<Hm, is that so?>

I went in to greet my parents, then gave my mother the jack-o’-lantern pumpkin and asked her to cook it for me.

“Interesting… I believe I could stew it and make a simple soup. Though if you don’t mind it taking a while, I could make it extra special.”

“Regular is fine by me!”

My mother was a good cook, but sometimes she overthought it and got ambitious, and then she’d produce something really, uh, experimental, shall we say… But when she just gave in to her skills, she made delicious food that was always juuust right.

“Why don’t you go get Alice for dinner? She’s upstairs.”

“Got it.”

I headed upstairs and knocked on my sister’s door, but she didn’t answer. Maybe she was asleep.

“I’m coming in.”

I opened the door, but Alice was nowhere to be found. Maybe she was in my room…? My suspicions were confirmed. I eased open my door and found Alice curled up on my bed.

“Zzz zzzz…brother dearest…”

“Hey, what are you doing?”

“Wha?!”

She let out an uncharacteristic squeak as she shot up out of bed. When she met my eyes, she trembled. Why was she so scared…?

“I came to get you for dinner…”

“Y-y-y-y-you’re home?”

“Yeah, I just got back. So, what are you doing?”

“I, uh…I was fixing your sheets.”

“Looks more like you were doing the opposite.”

My bed was pretty obviously unmade. Alice went pale and started babbling incoherently. I decided not to question it. She must’ve had her own reason. I mean, Alice was in the habit of doing all sorts of weird things, like that time she snuck into my room and sat in a corner until morning.

“I don’t mind,” I said. “You can keep napping.”

“Huh? Um, b-b-brother dearest…” Alice stuttered as I lay down next to her. “Uh, um, what…?”

“Just relax. We’re brother and sister, there’s nothing weird about this.”

“O-oh. Okay!”

We used to sleep together like this all the time when we were kids, so I hunkered down for a nap. When I woke up a bit later and checked my LP, it looked like I’d earned a little from it, too—score!

While I was celebrating, my door suddenly opened.

“You’re late for dinner! Were you two saying bad things about your fa—oh. Excuse me.” As usual, my father completely misinterpreted what was going on. He spun around and left the room. I could hear him screaming out in the hall. “Honeeeeeey! This is real bad! Real, real bad!”

Well, he always jumped to conclusions like that. This was basically an everyday occurrence at the Stardia household. I headed downstairs, explained what was really going on to my mother, and sat down for dinner.

It turned out that the jack-o’-lantern pumpkin was the heavenly kind of delicious. I wasn’t sure if it was just my mother’s cooking ability, but the stewed version was much softer, sweeter, and more flavorful than regular pumpkin. The soup was outstanding too. I wondered if this was one of the ones I’d taken out with a Stone Bullet. Either way, I had a fantastic meal and earned 500 LP, so I was more than satisfied.

I’d been contemplating it for a while, but it occurred to me that there were probably a lot of other edible monsters. Seeing as I could earn LP from them, I decided to try more of the things in the future.

At any rate, it was the end of a truly amazing day. I decided to make a point to visit my master again after class the following one.