Chapter 9: If It’s Too Big, Just Make It Smaller

Chapter 9:
If It’s Too Big, Just Make It Smaller

 

“I WONDER IF THE ITEMS get rarer the deeper you go,” I said, grinning from ear to ear. “This is a hidden dungeon, after all.”

It certainly seemed that way so far. Were there some S-Grade items coming in my near future?

Uuck had run off ahead, so I hurried after her. Back in the hallway, I found myself in a bit of trouble. All the doors were shut. I had no idea where she’d gone.

“Uuck? Where are you?”

There were two rooms left unexplored: one on the right and one on the left. I put my ear to each of them to listen for movement, but everything was still. Had she gotten herself stuck in another trap? Anxiously, I opened the door on the left.

“Nothing.”

It wasn’t just that Uuck wasn’t in there, the room was absolutely empty. There was nothing on the floor, just wa—actually, I take that back. There was a hole in one of the walls. I was curious, but I needed to find Uuck first. I closed the door and tried the one on the opposite side. For a moment, I couldn’t make sense of what I found.

“So we meet again, he he he.”

“Auck?!”

How had he even reached us here? And why did he have a knife to Uuck’s neck?

“Don’t pretend this is a coincidence,” I said. “You followed us, didn’t you?”

“Oh, you caught me. Yes, I did follow you.”

“Why?” I asked. “And why are you threatening your friend like that?”

“It’s all your fault!” he said. “You didn’t pick me. I got so bored! I didn’t have any other choice.”

“Run!” Uuck shouted. “Just leave me and run! He’s not right in the head!”

I guess she had mentioned that. What had she said? That he was the kind of person who’d betray his own family for a thrill? Maybe this was meant to happen if you didn’t pick him, but what was I supposed to do now?

“What do you want?” I asked.

“Nothing, really.”

“What?”

“I told you, I don’t want anything—but aren’t things more interesting like this?” he said. “You might get mad, Uuck might get cut…just the thought of it all makes my heart pound!”

Excuse me, come again? Yeah, okay, he was totally unhinged.

“First,” he said. “You should drop your weapons. Any funny business and it’s lights out for her.”

“He’s not going to listen to you!” said Uuck. “Come on, hurry up and—ow?!”

“Shut your mouth.”

Blood dribbled down Uuck’s hand and dripped onto the floor. Auck was grinning like a maniac.

“All right!” I said. “All right, I’ll do what you asked. Please stop.”

I placed my sword on the floor and kicked it over to him.

“I did what you asked, now let her go.”

“Oh no you didn’t, you little liar.”

“What do you mean?”

“I asked for all of your weapons. I know you have a Pocket Dimension. Give up the rest of them.”

“Huh?!”

Did he have Discerning Eye or something?! He slashed Uuck’s hand with the knife again, and I grimaced.

“All right! I’ll do it! Stop.”

Saving Uuck might not have been a requirement for clearing this part of the dungeon. I suspected I could ignore her and take out Auck, but…I liked her. Monsters or not, they all had unique personalities, and she was suffering.

I sighed, taking the Blade of Divine Punishment, the Piercing Spear, and the Numbing Ball out of my Pocket Dimension and setting them all on the floor.

“Ooh, you sure have some interesting items,” said Auck. “Now don’t get clever and fire off a ranged skill—I’ll cut off her head!”

He was clever. I had been thinking about it, but he wasn’t going to give me the opening. Even so, I had a plan. There was a reason I’d taken out the Numbing Ball.

“So, tell me, are these all unique?” he asked.

“I do have a few unusual items.”

“Spill. If you lie, I’ll—”

Yeah, yeah, I know. At least it seemed like he didn’t have a Discerning Eye for Items.

“That knife is strong against wolves, and the spear has heightened piercing ability.”

“And the ball?”

“It’s called a Numbing Ball; it paralyzes opponents.”

“Now that’s interesting. How can you touch it if it numbs on contact?”

“Oh no, the effect only triggers if you hit someone with enough force to inflict damage. Want me to pick it up to prove it?”

“I like that idea. You better not throw it at me.”

I nodded, and picked up the ball. Now here’s my chance! I’ll just wind up and—yeah right!

I did have a Throwing skill, but it was only C-Grade and Auck was ready for me. Besides, that kind of frontal attack was hardly the right choice for a hostage situation.

“Looks like you weren’t lying,” he said as I turned the ball over in my hands. “Now, toss it to me. Gently.”

“Got it.”

I did as I was told. Auck caught it handily.

“Interesting. Very interesting! So if I throw this at you, it’ll paralyze you, huh?”

He was making jokes, so it seemed I’d allayed his suspicions. His curiosity was getting the better of him.

The skill Explode would cost 100 LP. If I Bestowed it on myself, I might die, but if I put it on the ball…

It would cost 1,000 LP, and probably destroy the ball in the bargain, but I was out of alternatives. This was no time to hesitate.

Pow!

“Wha?!”

The ball exploded and Auck was frozen in place. I immediately fired a Stone Bullet at that handsome jerk—

Look, I’m not jealous of how handsome he is, okay!

And Auck made a weird groan as he fell. I rushed forward, about to launch another attack, but he was already unconscious.

“Looks like I’m in your debt again,” said Uuck.

“Are you okay?”

“It’s just a flesh wound.”

“Well, I’m glad it’s nothing serious. Why don’t we head to the next room?”

We headed back to the remaining room, the one with the small hole in the wall. It was about eight inches up from the floor, and it was tiny—far too tiny to fit through. I lay down on the floor to peer inside and what should I see on the other side? A small room and a set of stairs!

“Ohhh, so that’s where the stairs are.”

“I don’t really care about going down there,” said Uuck. “Why don’t you go on ahead?”

“I want to, but I can’t get through.”

“I’ll break it down. After all, I still owe you, remember?”

Uuck was a woman of her word and immediately set about destroying the wall. After a moment, I joined in. Maybe the Piercing Spear would be useful? But the wall was a lot stronger than I’d anticipated. We threw magic at it, spears, swords, you name it, but the wall wouldn’t budge. I tried Bestowing a skill to destroy it, but that would have required a six-figure sum of LP.

“Looks like we need another option,” I said.

“Not even a child could fit through there! You’d have to be tiny!”

“A door for very small people, huh? Oh!”

A while back, I had flattened Emma’s prodigious chest with a skill. Maybe I could make one that would make me eight inches tall! I looked into it, and the cost was a mere 150 LP. That almost seemed too cheap! It probably varied depending on who you Bestowed it on. I looked up what it would cost to give to Uuck, and it was a whopping five digits!

It did make me wonder, though: could I make myself taller?

 

Add Four Inches of Height – 10,000 LP

 

That was a little much. It seemed my days of being tall, dark, and handsome were a ways off. I mean, it’s not like it would do anything for my face. Emma and Lola said I was attractive, but they were probably just being polite.

At any rate, all I needed now was the 150 LP to Bestow the Eight Inch Height skill and then delete it afterward. I was a little nervous about that second part. I wouldn’t know how much it would cost to Edit the skill until after I’d produced it. Just how much would it cost to erase?

“You look concerned,” said Uuck. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Um, well…actually, no.”

“Oh, come on, say it!” she said. “I owe you! Tell me what you need!”

“All right, you asked for it…”

 

***

 

Current LP: 2,580 → 4,600

 

What happened, you ask? Well, we performed a ceremony to earn LP. When I asked Uuck to fool around, she didn’t even grimace. We held hands and hugged, and then she kissed me, and—

My head might explode if I remember the rest.

“Thank you for that,” I said. “On that note, I shall sally forth to the ninth floor!”

“See ya,” said Uuck. “Try to keep yourself in one piece!”

We said our goodbyes and I transformed myself into a miniature person. I was shocked at how suddenly the world changed around me. Uuck’s shins were like tree trunks! Fortunately, the hole in the wall was very roomy now. I didn’t even need to duck!