Chapter 17: You Can’t Fool Me!

Chapter 17:
You Can’t Fool Me!

 

I KEPT MY SWORD OUT to make sure we were safe. Emma and Amurru still hadn’t woken up, and Phan was out of it. I suppose she had taken a full-force punch from Leila. She would probably be out for a while.

“Your fists really are something.”

“Give yourself some credit,” said Leila. “Thanks so much for the backup! How did you make that bird drop out of the sky?”

“I used a skill to make it heavier.”

“Wow, that’s amazing…you really are superhuman.”

The praise was genuine, but I was pretty sure that was my line. And besides, if I’d taken one of her Demon Fists to the stomach like that, my guts probably would have exploded.

“Would you mind telling me how your skills work?” she asked. “You probably can’t, right? Since we’re in rival guilds.”

“No, it’s okay,” I said. “I trust you. I’ll tell you about my LP situation.”

I gave her the short version—admittedly a bit longer than what I’d told her when I first helped Nell. It was a little embarrassing, but Leila took the bait.

“So fooling around with girls earns you LP?” she said. “Does it work with anyone?”

“So long as I find them attractive”

“Do you find me attractive?” she asked.

My heart pounded against my ribs. “O-of course. You’re very pretty.”

“Well, maybe…a hug would be okay. You know, since you helped me out with the firebird and all. Best make sure you have enough, in case we get in another fight.”

Of course, I was happy to go along with that, but I felt weirdly nervous. Maybe it was because we’d only just met. We wrapped our arms around each other.

“Is this good enough?” she asked. “Or should I squeeze you tighter?”

“That would be nice.”

“I guess this is embarrassing for the both of us,” she said. “We’ll just have to get through it.”

“Yeah.”

Her hair smelled so nice…

“Sorry, Noir. I’m so sweaty.”

“No, you smell like flowers.”

“Oh, don’t lie,” Leila giggled.

She took it as a joke, but I was telling the truth. She really did smell like flowers.

“Since we’re doing this anyway,” I said. “Could you stroke my head a little…?”

“Well, just a little then.”

It felt nice when she ran her fingers through my hair, especially when they trailed down to rub my back. When I checked, I had already earned 800 LP. I guess I found her more than just a little attractive. By the time she pulled away, I felt much better.

“Aren’t you curious about the other thief?” I asked her.

“I don’t think my team would let him get away, but…”

Phan was pretty strong. It was hard to imagine that her partner wasn’t just as tricky.

“Maybe one of us should stay here,” Leila said. “And the other should go back to see how things are going?”

“I guess it would be hard to carry all three of them,” I admitted.

“I’ll go scout it out. Sorry to leave you alone, but keep guard.”

I nodded. “Got it.”

Keeping Emma safe was my main priority. I watched Leila as she headed off back to the hall, but she hadn’t got far when she stopped in her tracks.

“Sir?”

“Ah, there you are!”

The leader of the Lahmu adventurers came running out of the darkness toward us.

“What happened to the Phantom?” Leila asked.

“We caught him. But some of the others were badly injured. I came to see if you needed help.”

“Heh, no need. Noir and I already defeated the other one.”

Leila presented Phan with a mischievous grin. When the Lahmu leader examined her, the strangest look crossed his face. Surely he knew what Leila’s brute strength was capable of? He shouldn’t have been so taken aback.

That’s when I noticed his ear was pierced.

Did he always have that? The earring had a stone dangling from it. I got curious and used Discerning Eye on him.

 

Name: Tom Bertholda

Age: 28

Species: Human

Level: 154

Occupation: Salesperson; Thief

Skills: Gravity Manipulation (Grade C)

 

I struggled to keep my cool. He had the same surname as Phan. They were the same age, and both of them were thieves. What cinched it though, was their names…Phan and Tom. Seemed like they were twins. Who could have known?

At least the only skill he had was Gravity Manipulation. Even though it was only Grade C, it seemed dangerous. Worse, he was a very high level. But how was he disguising himself as Leila’s team leader? He didn’t have Transformation or Disguise, but the illusion was real enough to fool Leila. He even had the voice down! Remembering the earring, I checked it out with Discerning Eye.

Bingo! It was called the Earring of Deception and it had Disguise and Voice Mimicry. Apparently, it allowed him to mimic even his target’s facial expressions. He must have literally stolen the clothes off the Lahmu team leader’s back.

“So all three of them are out cold?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

I watched closely as he approached them to make sure he didn’t run off with Phan. When his back was turned, I took the opportunity to whisper to Leila.

“Don’t say a word, but he’s not who you think he is. Try to break that earring, or snatch it from him. You’ll see.”

“But…I know him.”

“It’s a disguise.”

Leila was at a loss for words. If I hadn’t had Discerning Eye, chances were he would have fooled me too. Tom turned to look at us.

“Is she your friend?” he asked, nodding to Emma.

“Yes.”

“Do you know why she was kidnapped?”

“Allegedly, the thief took a liking to her. Sounds like he’s a massive pervert to me.”

I made sure to get that dig in. He laughed, but I could see the rage in his eyes. He was a lot easier to read than I’d expected. The real question was how to take him by surprise—

“Hah!”

“Huh? Wait? What?”

Before I could figure it out, Leila attacked him. Tom leaned to dodge her massive right hook, but it was a feint. Her real attack was a body blow from the left. Somehow, he managed to dodge that too, but this time it threw him severely off balance.

“You’re up, Noir.”

“You can’t fool me, Tom the thief!” I said, brandishing my sword.

I struck the stone dangling from his ear and sliced clean through the chain. The stone tinked down onto the ground. Tom’s clothing didn’t change, but the rest of him sure did. He was actually pretty handsome.

“I see,” he said. “Well, that’s that, then.”

He drew a sword and counterattacked. Leila and I stepped back almost simultaneously.

“How did you see through my disguise?” Tom asked.

“Why don’t you guess?”

“Don’t tell me, you have a Discerning Eye? How unusual.”

“I’m not letting you take Emma.”

“Sorry to break the news to you,” he said. “But Emma is going to be my wife. I always get what I want. You’ll see.”

Suddenly I felt like something invisible was pressing down on me. It was uncomfortable to say the least. I felt so heavy! The same thing had happened to Leila. Now we were in serious trouble.

“How do you like my Gravity Manipulation?” he asked.

“What the…?”

Leila tried to get out of the range of the spell, but it was impossible. The weight bearing down on us intensified. It was really difficult to move… maybe with a little time, I could get used to it, but we didn’t have that luxury.

“Haaah haaah, that sure is an unusual skill,” I panted. “But it’s not without its drawbacks. You must be getting tired.”

I bet it used up a whole bunch of magic and, with any luck, the C-Grade version wasn’t powerful enough to literally crush us to death. If I could just hold out, maybe we could win this.

“This won’t become a battle of attrition,” said Tom. “If that’s what you’re thinking. I’m not done yet.”

“Ngh, if you’re going to do anything,” I said. “Then start with me—”

“You?”

He raised his sword. With all the gravity forcing me down—and adding power to his strike—there was no way I’d survive the hit.

“I just…have one thing…to say…” I gasped.

“Make it short and I’m all ears.”

“Emma isn’t a thing,” I said. “She’s a person. She has a heart and a mind of her own. Do you really think she’ll marry you?”

Emma was right behind him, and she was starting to come around. I made eye contact with her as I spoke, but Tom just scoffed at me. He was starting to look bored.

“You say that like it’s a problem. You must know that I’m extraordinarily skilled at manipulating people. Even if I can’t manage it on my own, I have plenty of magic tools that will help. Funny thing about thieving, you end up with more than you know what to do with. But that’s enough talk. I’ll grant your wish and finish you first.”

“One last thing,” I said. “You probably shouldn’t talk about trying to manipulate someone when you’re right in front of them.”

Tom cocked his head to the side. When he saw me smirking, he spun around to face Emma, but it was too late for him. She was already within attacking range.

“Don’t you dare lay a finger on Noir!” she shouted.

Emma hit Tom in the back with her signature Wind Strike. He didn’t stand a chance. The spell sent him flying, and the terrible weight pressing down on Leila and I finally lifted.

“Haa haa gah haa…”

I almost felt bad, seeing Tom panting on the floor like that. Almost. Leila dragged him to his feet and got him in an armlock as I clenched my fist.

“I-I’m the Phantom!” he cried. “This can’t be!”

“Light’s out! Hah!”

I punched him right in the diaphragm, just like I’d seen Leila do. It seemed like it worked too. My strike felt more powerful. I guess learning by example really works. It knocked Tom out cold. I turned around for Emma, but she was already right behind me, leaping into my arms.

“Noir!”

“Emma, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. What about you?”

“Honestly?” I said. “I’m feeling a little beat…”

“Rest! You need rest!”

Including all the summons, I’d been through a lot of fights tonight! I was exhausted. I lay down right there in the street, and Emma pulled my head into her lap. It felt like heaven, let me tell you.

“I was kidnapped,” she said. “Wasn’t I? I remember someone attacking me…I must have been knocked out.”

“Well, you couldn’t have done much about it,” I told her. “It was pitch-black in there.”

“But you came after me!” she said. “That makes me so happy.”

“What kind of monster do you think I am? As if I would let some creepy pervert run off with my best friend.”

“He he he, then I should probably thank you.”

Emma pushed my bangs aside and kissed my forehead. How’s that for proof that no good deed goes unrewarded?

“You must be tired,” she said. “You should rest a while.”

“I think I’ll do just that,” I agreed. “You know, Leila helped a lot. You should thank her, too.”

“All right, you just get some rest.”

Emma and Leila started talking, and the rise and fall of their voices began to lull me to sleep. I watched blearily as Leila picked Tom up and threw him over her shoulder. How did she still have the strength for it, after everything?

She really is something else, I thought.

I felt so heavy again. So tired. I couldn’t resist falling asleep any longer.