Case 01: Carlo Zen

Many authors who write isekai stories have visited an isekai.

That’s a hard fact.

But that process hasn’t received much attention until now, and it’s rare that isekai writers speak of it publicly. So this is probably the first guide being put out regarding visiting other worlds. It is also an agonized gripe-fest devoid of dreams and hope.

Still, it’s undeniable that this accumulation of facts is a critical foundation for the recent isekai novel boom. If it can be of any help to aspiring isekai writers who hope to make a visit, nothing could make me happier. When your luck runs out, and you find yourself facing difficulties in another world, I’d like you to remember what is written here, if possible. You can expect a harsh environment, one where towels don’t even exist.

You may find these records of other worlds intense, devoid of dreams and hope, and more like administrative procedures than adventures. But it’s this tastelessness, this dryness, that will keep you safe even when faced with the gravest threats. I do believe they could help you, depending on the circumstances, in a time of need. Or perhaps it’s more like a warning from the dolphins. I should add that you can’t expect a towel to do much for you.

All the same, all the same, I can only tell you what I’ve experienced.

Are you familiar, I wonder, with the cold, jiggly, moist, transparent blue slime?

Yes, that slime which must not be named!

That vexing bugger!

Do you know the discomfort of having it—that thing—shoved up your ass?!

If you were eating, I ask that you forgive me because, well, these things happen. But if you’re a fellow author who, like me...has suffered this trauma, then you have my sincerest apologies.

Initial Preparations: Fund-Raising

I recommend gold Vienna Philharmonics.

The first step in visiting an isekai is getting funds together. Please remember this.

A research trip is not an adventure.

Just because you kill a slime doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll drop a coin (honestly, worlds like that are rare).

I’ll be frank with you. An isekai is just another world.

This is not fun and games! Consider it reality. Your gamer smarts won’t come in handy in every other world.

A research trip is about going and coming back safely. Having your priorities straight is of the utmost importance. You mustn’t mistake recklessness for bravery.

Which is why, the first time you travel to an isekai, you should just go prepared with gold (bullion) coins.

Yes, gold pieces. Because you’re going to another world.

The bills we use are merely Japanese banknotes, the legal currency of Japan. You don’t have to think too hard to guess that in another world they’d be trusted no more than scraps of paper. In other words, you need to spec out your wallet for an isekai.

For better or worse, we’ve confirmed from experience that luckily, the majority of isekai have implemented the gold or silver standard. (In extremely rare cases, credit economies have developed, but there are almost no reports of that causing the value of gold and silver to drop.) That means it’s best for you to assume all of your research expenses in the other world will need to be paid for in gold or silver coins.

I’ll get into this more later, but considering that quarantine measures make it difficult to bring silver over, making arrangements for gold would be ideal.

Incidentally, I highly recommend taking gold bullion coins. As a pro, from the perspective of cost-efficiency, I can’t recommend old or collectible coins.

Some caution is also required regarding the design. Gold coins with people’s faces engraved in them, especially, are liable to be rejected if the faces don’t agree with the local ruling class.

You might think you can just melt the coins down, but...depending on the region, that may be a serious crime.

Therefore, it’s common knowledge that pros prefer the Vienna Philharmonic gold coins for their high quality and superior design (featuring only instruments and a stage).

Pre-Voyage Checkup

Cost complaints and compassionate care.

Before any trip to foreign lands, long or short, you should check your health. You won’t be able to get ahold of your usual medicines, and there’s no way to know if you’ll even be able to communicate with a doctor. And let’s be clear, people with a license to practice medicine are no exception to this rule. (There are reports that some doctors are over-hunting dragons. Now we just need them to learn some ethics.)

An isekai is a whole different environment from Earth. Your health affects your ability to stay alive, but you could also say it’s your humanitarian duty toward the people who inhabit the other world to get a pre-voyage checkup. Because when you make first contact with a new group of people, the difference in immunities could easily result in an illness that had been conquered on Earth starting a pandemic in another world.

Usually, trained isekai authors will consult with two clinics. (The value of double-checking should be obvious.)

Naturally, that’s expensive. This is not a cheap investment. And when you’re already scraping the bottom of the barrel after buying gold coins, wanting to skimp on expenses may just be human nature.

But what if we look at it from a different perspective? Not a single person in the isekai will have immunity to the germs you bring.

Perhaps a demon is whispering to you in your mind, “Surely I’m not carrying any lethal diseases!” But I urge you to remember something. It’s historical fact that even influenza was a pandemic at one point, under the name “Spanish Flu.”

Of course, the isekai side will have its own precautions, but there’s a higher chance of preventing a catastrophe if the voyager simply gets checked out before they go.

Are you prepared to destroy an entire world with a single mistake?

I wouldn’t steer you wrong. This is for your health and, above all, your peace of mind. Getting every nook and cranny of your body examined by a doctor is like paying for insurance.

And if you’re going to get a slime shoved up you in the isekai anyhow, then you might as well smile and swallow the doctor’s camera.

Preparing Documents

All the procedures for authorized entry.

As long as intelligent life exists in isekai, we should assume there will be bureaucratic procedures there, too.

Red tape is forever. It can never be destroyed.

At least, as long as there is paperwork, bureaucracy will never die.

And above all, if you’re going between an isekai and Japan, you won’t be permitted to ignore the Japanese systems—specifically, customs declarations and the like.

Perhaps this surprises you, and you wonder what in the world you would declare, but please recall that you’re bringing along all those gold coins to settle your bills in the other world. Whether they are counted as gold bullion or foreign currency will make a big difference, but generally speaking, if you’re carrying more than a million yen’s worth you need to report that with a Declaration of Carrying of Monetary Instruments, Etc. (Note: Please contact customs personnel directly for details of customs rules related to isekai voyages. This zine isn’t meant as expert legal advice, and the current laws could be different than mentioned here. Of course, the laws in effect should be prioritized, and this zine refuses to accept any liability for your actions.)

Naturally, it’s not only customs you need to worry about.

You should also bring your passport.

Experts debate the usefulness of passports in isekai, but having one is probably better than being a suspicious guy with no ID. However, it often happens that people have a hell of a time when they return because their passport was incinerated during their voyage, so don’t forget to consult with an immigration officer before leaving the country.

Regarding papers to be submitted upon arrival in the isekai, I’ll address this in detail later, but you should take precautions with both the text and format of your papers so you won’t run into trouble when they’re incinerated.

The ideal would be to have someone from Earth of equivalent standing to someone with a degree of social power in the isekai write you a letter of recommendation, in addition to communicating in writing with the people on the ground there on your own before your voyage, and get all your ducks in a row.

If possible, now is also a good time to make any necessary appointments. After all, your time in the isekai is limited, and there are lots of things you’ll want to research.

Fasting

Pray at a Zen Temple.

Visiting an isekai is an intense research trip completely unlike a sightseeing vacation. Those of us in the industry who specialize in isekai know this, but those who don’t sometimes misunderstand. Research in an isekai is no walk in the park. In order to avoid panicking when faced with the many obstacles you’ll encounter, it’s well known that some mental training is in order.

One common way to strengthen one’s mind is to practice Zen meditation at a temple.

(Note: This is optional, and it’s not as if every isekai researcher trains at a Zen temple. There are many examples of people training with their own sects or denominations due to religious beliefs, and I respect the freedom of those individuals who would declare they are perfect and therefore have no need to train.)

Now then, why meditate? There are two reasons: the first is to endure simple meals and severe conditions. The second is to train your mind to avoid panic.

You don’t need to go as far as a fire ritual, but before heading into such a harsh environment, you should prepare yourself mentally and take the opportunity to purify your body and mind, if you can. This is also so you don’t get overwhelmed by worldly desires while in the other world.

Isekai are often said to tickle one’s passion for adventure, but as an author on a research trip, you’re only there to write your manuscript. If you forget that, you risk assimilating and never returning to this world.

The knowledge should be spread far and wide that one of the major triggers of isekai escapism is the pressure of deadlines. I believe that in order to ensure that authors researching in other words are able to return, editorial departments should pay a bit more attention to this issue.

Now then, did you practice Zen meditation, hone your mind, and set your intentions? Are you emotionally prepared to accept the isekai as an isekai without panicking or falling prey to your desires, even when things get tough?

If you’ve come this far, all that’s left is pre-departure prep.

The Sterilization Room

Endure, my heart.

There is a ritual we perform before voyaging to an isekai.

To be blunt, it’s everybody’s favorite: the disinfection process.

Honestly, calling it “disinfection” is a lie. No matter how much bacteria we remove—no matter how much—humans can’t be perfectly sterilized. That’s just the plain truth, so a heartfelt curse on the mass media for going on about “sterile pigs” or “SPF porkers.”

True sterilization is incredibly hard to achieve. You can’t raise germ-free pigs without a special facility. But I guess we have to admit that humans are able to get some control over bacteria.

Thus, there are internal and external measures against infectious diseases.

Before voyaging to the isekai, we authors must take them.

In the sterilization room.

Paid out of pocket. Yes, out of pocket. The sterilization room, which costs thousands of yen even with insurance, has to be paid out of pocket!

And by the way, while you’re there, you’re forced to live a life of extreme austerity. Time to use what you learned at the temple. For that reason, it’s an open secret that many of those with experience call the sterilization room “training.”

After all, the whole point is to be as “clean” as possible so that you don’t take any germs to the isekai.

Medically, I don’t know the details, but even just the meals are terrible. Or perhaps I should say, “horrifying.”

The food is so bad you’ll find sterile meals merely boring.

This stuff is truly just human feed.

(Incidentally, the past few years have seen rapid advancement in medicine...and you’re now able to finish your quarantine period more quickly with slime-compatible food.)

Whatever you do, don’t expect anything to be tasty. Not even the British could endure this flavor.

By the way, no small number of people lose their will to make the voyage after their experience with the sterilization room. The reason is that you need to be off cigarettes and alcohol before you can make the trip. You may find this hard to believe, but due to potential cultural differences, even caffeinated items are replaced with decaf versions.

And the food is just so, so bad!

Sadly, even after collecting gold coins, preparing documentation, and training at a temple...human spirits still aren’t made of steel.

Entry Procedures

Confirm your intentions and be on your way.

By this point, you must have been guided from the sterilization room directly to the gate to the isekai. Once you’ve passed through the summoning gate, what awaits on the other side of the looking glass is the isekai to which you’ve devoted so many sacrifices, so much perseverance, and such determination.

Do you have your gold coins? Are your papers in order? Then let’s get changed into disposable pajamas. Whatever you do, don’t wear your favorite and most stylish outfit.

I know, you’ll feel a bit awkward hanging around the border to the isekai in baggy, single-use garments. But you’ll just have to get over it—because all of your personal items will be disinfected through incineration. (Note: In most cases, obtaining a notarized copy of your paperwork is possible, but check with the authorities. Your passport you should be prepared to get reissued.)

If, by some chance, you have items aside from bullion that would be of some value even if melted, you should brace yourself to hear that they have been completely burned up.

For this reason, preparing for your departure after the sterilization room means heading to the gate with only your gold coins (in a bag for easy handling is okay) and the paperwork that you can expect will be reissued.

Furthermore, it’s a bit late at this point to say this, but make sure you haven’t neglected to arrange your will and inheritance.

An isekai is a dangerous world. No one knows what kinds of perils await.

Well, no, some perils are easy to tell at a glance, but some won’t be. It may look like a peaceful storybook world where you’re the main character, blessed with cheat powers, but make no mistake.

You’re going on a research trip. You mustn’t conflate research and adventuring. It isn’t enough to simply want to go see an isekai because you want to write isekai novels.

If those pure sentiments, your yearning for an isekai, turn into a saga of your own exploits, there’s no going back. Don’t forget the intentions you set when you decided to go. If you do, you might have so much success in the isekai that you won’t be able to come back to Earth.

I know all too many people who went to another world as an isekai author on a research trip and took a wrong turn.

That said, any more on this topic, and I’d be repeating myself.

Now then, to the isekai!

When you arrive...

Quarantine

Slime

Upon your departure, your heart may have been aflutter with excitement about the unknown isekai. But now you have no choice but to cast aside dreams and hope and look reality in the face. “Welcome to the isekai,” say the elite mages who meet you...and the terrible sanitation slimes.

Right away, you’ll be ordered to go to a changing room, take off all your clothes, and get into a slime bath.

As you know, any organism in quarantine that refuses to follow orders will be promptly executed without further ado, which could include being sealed up, frozen, incinerated and/or being banished to another dimension, so you have no choice but to get into the slime bath.

In the notorious slime bath, you’ll be enveloped in its slippery form, and it’ll try to enter every single hole in your body, invading every last part you can think of.

It’s all for antibacterial purposes, so you’ll just have to deal.

The moment will seem to last forever, but it will end. The relief you’ll feel when you put on a pair of underwear handed to you by an elite mage with a sympathetic look in their eyes is indescribable.

Alas, the voyager is responsible for the cost of this slime bath. That’s right, we have to pay for it. (Note: But the underwear is generally included in the price.) The going rate is generally one gold coin.

Now, don’t go thinking, It’s only one gold coin. Depending on the size of the slime, you should be prepared to offer 1-2 ounces of gold coinage. Depending on the market, that’s 80 or 90 thousand yen.

Then the slime that you just paid 80 or 90 thousand yen for will be incinerated and disposed of on the spot by the elite mage, after which they’ll cast immunity magic on you as a precaution against germs. If you resist, you’ll be shot. (Note: The immunity magic and slime disposal usually costs 1-2 ounces of gold coinage.)

Essentially, for just this one-way trip to another world, we’re already talking a loss of upwards of 160 thousand yen.

You could travel overseas for that amount.

It may sound harsh, but considering our completely different immune systems and the circumstances of the people in the other world, these thorough quarantine measures are the minimum necessary.

By the way, the probability that you’ll get a gold coin from the incinerated slime is zero. What a garbage drop rate.

The Research Mindset

A world where you could use an etiquette instructor.

Anyone who journeys to an isekai must constantly remind themselves that this world is different from their home and their home dimension. Frankly, you need to learn the local manners if you want to stay alive.

Taking your first step into an isekai means entering a world with a different public order, different values, and different morals. If you’re taking things lightly, take a good look at that slime that was incinerated for quarantine purposes. Before you pity the creature, remember that if you make one wrong move, you’ll end up just like it.

The isekai is just waiting for you to screw up.

It’s simple, really. In most other worlds, the people view voyagers as a high-risk group they’re forced to accommodate. To be blunt, voyagers are guests they have no choice but to accept.

That’s us.

The reason most worlds accept us, if passively and through the proper procedures, is because they want to prevent the chaos of unregulated comings and goings, not because they want people to visit. That’s just the way things are.

We must never interact with the locals with the intention of benevolently “enlightening” them. Doing so would be seen as a revolt against the world’s public order and result in immediate death in a fire.

That is, heresy is punishable by incineration and disposal.

Even if your domestic affairs finagling comes from a place of good will, that’s the role of a “protagonist” who will put down roots here. A temporary visitor should refrain from shooting off their mouth.

Your effect on social change could be huge, and there’s no guarantee that you won’t cause anyone misfortune. In this sense, it’s no exaggeration to say that this requires a higher standard of ethics than developmental aid. As a visitor, you mustn’t forget to respect the local culture, customs, and values.

The cost for getting arrogant and forgetting your manners is steep. You could be judged or even punished under local rules.

When in Rome...

So when on Earth, do it Earth’s way. When in an isekai, do it the isekai’s way.

Who knew that such an old saying still held so much wisdom?

Issues When Conducting Research on the Ground

Regarding expenses and scheduling.

In the isekai, a minimum of three or four elite mages will accompany you as interpreter-guide-bodyguards. They should each be paid at least 1-4 ounces of gold coinage per day. That alone will add up to quite a few ounces...but don’t forget you’re also responsible for their food, accommodations, travel fees, and other expenses.

Even if you really hack your budget, it’d be wise to expect two ounces for personnel, plus a bit more. (In the current market that works out to something like 320-350 thousand yen.)

If you want to take your time and research for ten days, you’re looking at nearly 4 million yen. To make that back, you need to get at least 10 percent royalties, set the price of your book at 1,000 yen, and, not even worrying about various taxes and whatever at this point, do a first print run of 40,000 copies.

Naturally, we can’t ignore the issues of time and budget restraints, so many people bend over backwards trying to see as much as they can on what little budget they have.

No matter how you’ve trained, steeled your mind, and prepared, the process of observation and study takes time. If you rush, you’re sure to miss things. This is where the misunderstanding that isekai authors don’t do their homework comes from.

Crying about your lack of funding won’t help. It’s an issue that torments all authors who are endeavoring to research isekai during this slump in the contemporary publication industry.

Above all, it’s harder to see an isekai in a limited amount of time than it is to imagine it from Japan. If a Japanese person wants to circumnavigate the Earth, they need only hop on a jet. But in an isekai, you don’t know if there will be airplanes, and even if there are passenger dragon flights or something like that, there’s no guarantee you’ll be able to travel in comfort.

And more than anything, the challenges you’ll face will only grow stiffer the further you penetrate into regions where the people aren’t used to accepting other-worlders.

That’s the difficult reality of conducting research in isekai.

Your First Meal

No more rice porridge.

We’re used to having milling technology on Earth, so the hardest bread we can conceive of is one with the vague notion of a “hearty flavor.” Some people may have tender notions, believing things like, I like German bread, so I actually prefer hard bread.

But despite some exceptions, most isekai hard breads are...tough as bricks.

It really does feel like biting into a brick.

After all, they were baked nice and sturdy by wizards so that they could be used as military rations. The only thing you can say about the quality is that it’s superb—because even if they’re ten years old, you can eat them because they’re sanitary!

Of course, soft breads also exist. You can find them as a standard foodstuff in most isekai. But the reality is that I can’t recommend them to a freshly arrived voyager.

The reason for that is simple. Soft isekai breads are almost certainly not regulated by the equally insubstantial isekai sanitation standards.

Just because you have immunity magic doesn’t mean you can lower your guard when it comes to your diet in another world, where antibiotics may be hard to come by.

Let me be clear. There are essentially no lifeforms that accurately understand the effects isekai medication will have on your body.

After all, no one has studied the physiology of other-worlders.

For safety and sanitation purposes, everyone, unless they have the unusual ambition of donating their body to science (I’m mainly imagining scientists of the mad variety here), should down that awful-tasting hardtack-like brick bread soaked in salt soup along with their tears.

By the way, salt soup is a healthy soup of a salty broth created by wizards using alchemy out of pure water plus a variety of fully cooked vegetables. Once you’ve gulped down the pseudo-rice porridge of mushy hardtack in salt soup, it’s only a matter of time ’til you’re an isekai author like the rest of us. The reason for that is also simple! If you’re willing to endure such hardship for your research, you’re sure to finish your book.

Meanwhile, your guides are likely to be licking their chops over the inn’s dinner special. That’s in their contract, so be ready to put up with it.

If you fail to withstand this and get deported, you won’t be able to cry enough!

Paperwork at the Inn

Review your penmanship skills.

(Note: If you have the rare connections necessary to get arrangements made before your voyage, you can skip this section.)

You’ve arrived in the isekai and filled your gut with a horrible meal of brick bread, but before you close your eyes for a night of suffering on a hard bed and pillow, there are some steps you can’t forget to take.

You can’t escape making appointments and writing thank-yous.

The usual way to do this is to have your guide-interpreters take dictation. But while the dictation is part of their guide duties, the parchment and so on will cost quite a bit extra.

There are more than a few worlds where the type of paper you use will depend on where you are sending it and your relationship to the receiver. Even if you feel like it’s a waste, it’s best to put a lot of thought into these subtleties—don’t be stingy.

Now then, making appointments and writing thank-yous is your highest priority, but...if your inn is in a town with a lord or lady, then you need to make an appointment straight away.

If they accept, thank them in person.

This absolutely must be done.

In reality, there are some domain holders who don’t feel it desirable or necessary to meet other-worlders. But as a visitor from another world, you mustn’t neglect to show the proper respect to those with influence in the region.

You can try to say that your stay was so short you “ran out of time” and thus it was out of your control, but you’ll never be able to visit that realm again. Staying just long enough to “squeeze them in” is rude and even worse. (Note: In many cases you should expect reprisal.)

You mustn’t take appearances lightly. Even if you can’t enjoy all of the ritualistic elements of isekai, you have no choice but to change your point of view and decide it’s all part of your research.

Incidentally, even if you write by dictation, make sure you can at least sign your own name. Practice writing with a quill and ink. If you don’t at least get to the point where you can produce your own signature, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to be soundly embarrassed.

I hate writing my signature, so there were lots of tears shed over this.

Some people will point out even the slightest misstroke. Once I got interrogated by an important noble. “Your signature was different last time!” he said. “Have you been deceiving me?!”

Maybe if you learn penmanship ahead of time, you’ll have less trouble.

Now, let’s do that research!

Etiquette, preparation, intention.

You may be sick of the whole thing after that parade of societally necessary errands devoid of dreams and hope, but now nothing can stand in your way.

Yes, it’s time to research. One’s first step into a new world is always a thrill. Diverse encounters, all sorts of surprises—your perfect chance to study a world you’ve never seen or heard of before is finally here!

Riding a horse so long your butt hurts is a rare experience—although once is enough for that kind of pain.

Or booking a dragon flight and discovering the dragon feed surcharge on the obscenely pricey bill. (Note: Every world has its energy issues.)

All of these experiences are the pleasures of researching in another world.

The joy of learning magic from a mage and being able to sense mana is intensity incarnate. Or it might be a good experience to steel your resolve and study at a school in the other world. (Note: Just know that you’ll be spending 80-90 percent of your trip learning the writing system.)

Taking in a different culture’s performing arts or learning a traditional craft can also be very satisfying. Even I was moved that time I was sitting in a large bath warmed by salamanders, chatting with goblins and orcs, interviewing them about the discrimination they faced and their court battles.

Goblin generations change fast, but they were able to win because the tribes engaged in the trials banded together to form the Goblin Bar Association. That’s a feat that will go down in legal history even if the bards never sing of it!

Ahh, those goblin tribes sure had some eloquent speakers!

My only regret is that, unfortunately, I wasn’t able to remember everything.

After all—oh, I should mention this—before you leave the isekai, every record taken during your research is incinerated and disposed of for quarantine reasons.

All right, remember all of this and be on your way now.

(Note: Some isekai have magical ways of boosting memorization skills, but buffs are generally canceled when moving between Earth and other worlds. We’ve seen many cases of people losing everything they thought they had remembered. Please do NOT direct complaints to the local mage guild.)