Intermission: Fioriel’s Shovel of Happiness

Intermission:
Fioriel’s Shovel of Happiness

 

THE MOONLIGHT SPILLED into Alan’s room inside the World Tree Castle, illuminating both the white sheets covering his bed and the elf girl seated upon them.

Even in the dark, her shoulder-length golden blonde hair shone radiantly. Sitting atop her jiggling breasts was a small shovel. Regardless of whether Fio was moving or sitting still, the shovel was in no danger of falling off. Alan desperately wanted to tell her to remove it, but she vehemently refused.

“I’m so sorry, barging in during the night like this… Did I surprise you?” Fio asked.

“You did.”

“I’m so, so sorry!” she apologized as she began to explain the events leading up to her actions. “After everything calmed down, Miss Lithisia and I talked about all manner of things…”

It was at that very moment that Alan vowed to never leave this pure young girl alone with the princess ever again.

“And then I realized s-something…” Fio turned away from Alan. “Even if the Elf Woods goes back to normal, I’m the only one who’ll live h-here.”

She wasn’t wrong. Alan and Lithisia were on a journey, which meant that they couldn’t stick around. Who would want to come back to such a sad place? “Hrm…” Alan said.

“But… But I want to bring back the town!”

“In other words…?”

“So… So… In order to do that, I…” Fio stopped speaking and turned her glistening eyes to Alan. “I have to do as much ‘shoveling’ as possible!”

The miner had been following her train of thought up until the very end, when she instantly became incomprehensible.

Alan wanted to hold his head in his hands. Lithisia had poisoned her mind. Of course, he was ultimately to blame for all of this. By introducing Fio to the princess, he was merely spreading the disease. He might have to quarantine her in the name of world peace at the rate things were going.

But Fio was the priority at the moment. While her words and actions—especially the Breast Shovel, as he’d begun internally calling it—were absurd, her actual goal was the real deal.

Fio was family. He had to save her from Lithisia’s influence. Alan decided to just ask her, point-blank, “Fio, when you say ‘shoveling’, what exactly do you mean?”

Lithisia had been increasing the amount of meanings the word “shovel” and its permutations could have at an alarming rate. At some point, she would probably replace an entire dictionary’s worth of words with “shovel.” This meant that Alan had to figure out the context in this particular sentence.

“What?! Y-you want me to explain that?! To you?!” Fio panicked, but the shovel on her breasts didn’t budge. “Um, well, it’s basically the creation of life.”

“Be more specific.”

“B-but Lithisia told me that you’d understand if I said ‘shoveling’!”

“As if. Also, don’t ever trust anything she says. Ever.”

“Wh-wh-what? You want me to be even more specific?!” She squirmed, her bountiful breasts swaying back and forth. Fio put both hands on her burning hot cheeks. “Um, well, you touch like this…” Fio’s beautiful white hands began to move. “And, um, gently caress… And then finally…” She muttered the rest under her breath.

“Fio, I can’t hear you.”

“I said, you, um, aaah…” Fio finally blurted it out. “Love! You give love shape! In the nude!”

“‘Give love shape in the nude’…?” Alan was still puzzled.

“P-please don’t make me explain anymore! I beg of you!”

Alan thought to himself. She could mean one of two things. The first, of course, was the romantic activity that two lovers performed together. There’s no way she means that, he thought. There was simply no way that anyone would ever choose someone like him—a miner who could do naught but dig up jewels—as a lover. Which meant…

“I see. I understand now.”

“You do?!”

“Yes. It’s the whole kneading thing, right?”

“E-excuse me?!” Fio held her breasts tightly. “I…I suppose you could say that, yes!”

Alan nodded. He was right on the mark. The “shoveling” that Fio was referring to was…

Sculpting.

 

***

 

The elf village was once renowned as a city dedicated to fine arts. When Alan visited some four hundred years ago, there was a series of statues in the center of the village. The residents would pay tribute to them during festivals. If Fio was to revive the village, she would absolutely need statues. Alan was certain of this.

Unfortunately, he was a stubborn man when it came to his beliefs. He was actually fairly similar to Lithisia in that sense. He twisted Fio’s words around in his head to match his theory.

The “creation of life” referred to a hero’s life, which would be captured in the finished statue. To “gently caress” referred to the process of preparing clay. Finally, to “give love shape in the nude” meant sculpting a nude statue.

Alan had always thought that the nude statues the elves made were among the most beautiful sculptures in the world.

I must be right. Fio wants me to make one of those for her.

Which meant that her whole Breast Shovel thing was her own attempt at art, even if it was excessively provocative.

“But Fio, I’m not what you’d call a pro. Are you sure you’re okay with me?”

Fio’s cheeks turned pink as she looked down, her hands pressed against her breasts as tears dripped from her eyes. “I…um, I know my body is weird…” Her breasts trembled. It was indeed weird how large they were. “You’re the only one who pays any attention to me, Uncle Alan.”

“No, hold on. Your body has nothing to do with it.” By “it,” Alan of course meant “art.” “What’s important is your heart.”

Fio looked up with a smile. Thanks to Alan leaving out the important details, Fio had completely misunderstood him. “Uncle Alan, you’re so kind… That’s why I…” She took a deep breath and looked him straight in the eyes. “No matter how embarrassing it is…and it’s really, really embarrassing…” Fio took a deep breath. Alan was her hero. She could think of no better person to ask. She knelt on the floor, her breasts jiggling, and cried, “I want you to ‘shovel’ with me!”

Alan could do nothing but nod his head. Their single shot at undoing this awful misunderstanding was lost for all of eternity. “Got it. I’ll do my best.”

Fio responded with a shy smile.

“I may not be a professional, but I do know what to do.”

“Um…” Fio raised her hand. “I was just wondering… Can one really be a professional at this kind of thing?”

“Of course,” Alan said. “Pasarunak was a pro, actually.”

Fio nearly jumped up in surprise. “The elder was a pro?!”

“You didn’t know? He probably had something like a thousand under his belt.”

“One thousand people?! I-I had no idea he was like that!”

“Mmm-hmm. I’ve even watched him doing it.” Sculpting, of course. “The way he moved his hands was something else.”

“Something else?! Aaaaaaahhh!” And just like that, Fio’s impressions of her ancestor had shifted dramatically. Her entire face was bright red. What could he mean by “something else”?! She was tremendously interested, but she didn’t dare ask.

“You should study up as well, Fio. You’re related to him. I’m sure you have the same latent abilities.”

“Oh my gosh…” Fio grabbed both of her cheeks with her hands. She shyly turned away from Alan. “Would...you be happy if I got good at it, Uncle Alan?”

“Hm? Of course I would.” With enough practice, Alan felt his niece would be an excellent sculptor.

“Y-you would…? I see… Oh gosh…” Fio looked at her hands through her tear-filled eyes. Eventually, she used one of those hands to hide her face. “A-all right. I’m going to do my best to get good!”

“I know you can do it,” Alan encouraged her. “Good luck!”

Fio blushed. “Th-thank you!”

Misunderstandings like this were seemingly never-ending.

“Now then, how about we get going? Let’s start with the basics.”

“I-I’m in your hands!” Fio said excitedly.

And so Alan began to work. Using his shovel, he collected enough clay to sculpt a single statue. The key to producing high-quality clay was to knead it thoroughly. He stuck his shovel into the stuff and began to mix it together roughly at first, then more gently. After he’d gotten it to a certain level of softness, he used his hands to stir the clay.

“H-huh…?” Fio watched him work with a puzzled expression on her face. “I-Is this really practice…?”

“Of course,” he replied. Sculpting was the real deal. It required a lot of prep work. “Everything begins with practice,” Alan said as he kneaded the clay thoroughly. Fio once again held her arms to her breasts tightly.

Alan gently rubbed the clay over and over again.

“You do it this gently…?”

“It’s just like I said, Fio. You gotta put lots of love into it.”

“Love…” she repeated softly.

Alan picked up some clay and began to knead it with his hands. For some reason, Fio reacted to each motion, her breasts bouncing about. Even worse was that she was sitting on the floor in a super short skirt, holding her knees to her chest. Alan could just barely see a hint of white beneath the hem. Her closed thighs were something to behold.

Alan had no place to look at his niece safely. I have to focus, he admonished himself. He couldn’t think of the girl like this. Not as her uncle. He chased off the lewd thoughts and concentrated on the clay, paying no mind to Fioriel’s breathy comments as she watched him work.

“Oh my gosh… You’re so gentle… Aaaah!” With every motion the miner made, Fio’s breasts bounced about. “If you keep going like that, I’ll, I’ll…!” The elf girl cried out joyously, but Alan continued to knead. “Ah, if you grip them that roughly, I…”

Alan kneaded the clay beneath the moonlight while the elf girl thrashed about. If someone else were to see the two of them, they would’ve undoubtedly asked themselves, What in blue blazes are they doing?!

 

***

 

Two hours had gone by since practice began. “That’s step one done,” Alan finally said.

“Haaah, haaah….” Fio was drenched in sweat as she caught her breath. Her clothes were almost entirely see-through at this point, showing the color of her skin, as well as the pink peaks on each breast. Her milky white thighs peeped from beneath her skirt.

“Whoa, Fio! Are you okay?!”

“Aaah, I…I’m okay… Haaah, haaah….”

Alan drew close, and Fio rested up against him. Her hair smelled wonderful, and her skin was springy and soft to the touch. Alan was assaulted by all kinds of wonderful sensations.

“I-I’m sorry,” she apologized. “I know we should be practicing ‘shoveling,’ but…”

“No, I’m glad you’re taking things so seriously. So, what do you think?” he asked. He definitely wanted to know her thoughts on the art of sculpting.

For a time, Fio simply grasped the cuff of Alan’s shirt sleeve. “I could… I could feel the love.” The elf girl’s eyes were basically spinning in circles. She must’ve really exhausted herself.

“Are you all right?” he asked, concerned. “You should get some rest.”

Fio nodded her head and leaned closer against him. Alan felt bad about forcing her to move from her spot, so he simply caressed her beautiful blonde hair.

“Ah, that feels so good…” the elf girl sighed.

“Does it? Then I’ll keep going.” Alan continued to caress her hair gently, almost as if he were singing her a lullaby.

“I’m...shovely happy…” Fio began to whisper in her sleep, her breasts pressed up against Alan’s arm.

Wait, do I have to stay like this all night?

Fio’s mighty bosom continued to press against Alan’s arm as she breathed in and out. Unfortunately for Alan, this trial would last all the way until sunrise.

 

***

 

The next day…

“Lithisia, you filled Fio’s head with all kinds of shovel weirdness, didn’t you?”

The princess, Catria, and Alan faced the morning with cups of black tea in hand. Needless to say, the topic of conversation was the way Fio acted the night before.

“Sir Miner, the shovel is required religious learning for all of humanity,” she replied. Alan shook his head. If that was the case, Rostir’s future was in great danger. “By the way, um, how was Fio?” Lithisia asked, clearly curious about his answer. He noticed that she’d stopped referring to the elf as “Lady Fio.”

“She took things very seriously. She told me something about how she could feel the love.”

“Feel...the love?!” Flustered, Lithisia began wringing her hands. “Um, I’m sorry. I guess I’m a little jealous.”

“Why? You’re the one who set her on the path, no?”

“Sir Miner, you’re too great for me, a simple princess, to monopolize…”

Alan scoffed at that. “Surely you jest. I’m not that big a deal.”

“Sir Miner.” Lithisia’s expression was serious. “Anyone who visits this forest will immediately understand just how incredible a person you are.” She pointedly looked out the window of the elf castle. A massive trench surrounding the entirety of the forest, an adamantine wall stretching as far as the eye could see, the massive World Tree Castle itself… All of it had taken Alan only two hours to construct.

He’d made a castle capable of piercing the heavens like it was no big deal. Creation on that level was the territory of the gods.

“Sir Miner, one day you will be spoken of in legend.” Lithisia tried to hide the melancholy in her voice. It was a feeling that didn’t suit her. “That’s why I’m… Well, I’m happy just to be by your side… Aaah!”

Lithisia let out a startled cry as Alan ruffled her golden hair. He couldn’t stand seeing her looking so sad. He almost preferred her when she was going on and on about shovels. “Lithisia, I’m just a miner. There’s no reason to worship me like some kind of god. You and I are just regular old humans.”

The princess stared at Alan’s face for a time before the tears started coming. She eventually nodded. “I’m…I’m shovely happy…” Lithisia whispered the same thing Fio had the previous night. “But I’m still going to worship you. I’ve already decided that our religion’s object of worship will be a golden shovel.”

“Please don’t go deciding things like that.”

“Oh, and I’ve chosen Catria as the captain of the Holy Shovel Knights. Talk about a promotion, right?”

“I’d like to turn in my notice of resignation,” Catria replied dryly.

“Nope! Not allowed.”

“...Whatever,” Alan surrendered. “Let’s get ready to go.”

According to what Fio had told him, the Ancient Castle of Riften had become a nest for the undead. The entire building was already covered in a creepy yellow aura, skeletons and ghosts coming and going in and out of its doors and windows. It was very likely that the inside of the building was now a dungeon.

A dungeon was a miner’s true calling. He turned to the knight. “Catria, what’s the most important thing one must remember about a dungeon?”

“Easy. That one must battle with great courage.”

“Wrong.”

Catria blinked. “Huh?”

“The key point in conquering any dungeon is…” Alan paused dramatically. A blue aura of energy began to emanate from behind him, signaling his readiness. “Safety first!” he proclaimed.

Thus began the safest dungeon run in the history of the continent.