Intermission: Julia’s Hot Spring Shovel

Intermission:
Julia’s Hot Spring Shovel

ALAN HAD SAVED Rahal Village and Julia the Water Priestess from the legendary dragon. At the village elder’s invitation, he was relaxing in the village’s new hot spring when a deadly new challenge found him.

Julia arrived. In the men’s bath. Naked.

At first Alan assumed she had made a mistake. In truth, Julia was on a mission, given to her by the High Priestess of shovels herself. She was terribly determined.

Realizing Julia was here to stay, Alan threw a towel over Julia’s chest; to his dismay, this was not nearly enough to cover her bountiful bust. Everything other than the tips of her chest was plainly visible. Hot water dripped down the fair skin of her breasts. Even the succubi Alan encountered in his mining exploits weren’t as threatening as the vision before him.

Nevertheless, the pair ended up sitting in the hot spring, side by side. At least the water managed to cover most of Julia’s alluring form.

“I’m so sorry for just barging in like that…” Julia couldn’t bear to look Alan in the eyes, her face bright red.

“Why did you, then?”

“I-I just had to express my gratitude… I wanted to shovel your back.”

“Shovel my back? In what way is that expressing gratitude?”

“Well, um, that’s what Lady Lithisia told me…”

Of course it was all that dastardly princess’s fault.

“Look, you don’t need to do anything for me. I did what I did for me. Don’t worry about it.”

Julia didn’t respond at first; her long, blue hair floated atop the hot water and tickled Alan’s skin. “Um, Sir Alan… You said you’re not a god, right?”

“I did. I’m just a regular old person like you are.”

Julia stared long and hard at the miner before shaking her head from left to right. “I’m sorry, but I just can’t believe that.”

“Are you saying I’m not human?”

“N-no! I don’t mean it in a weird way! It’s just… You saved not only me, but the entirety of the Rahal Tribe. You didn’t even ask for anything in return! I just have a hard time seeing you as one of us… You’re more like a deity.”

Alan thought back to Lithisia after their first meeting. She had ended up with a similarly strange feeling.

“B-but I know you want me to think of you as a fellow human, so!”

Suddenly Julia rose to her feet, her breasts bouncing underneath the towel in her hands. “If nothing else, I want to express my gratitude to you for saving me… S-so if you really want me to think of you as a fellow human, then please allow me to thank you the way we normal people do it!”

There was a weighty pause.

“Julia.”

“Yes?!”

“Could you first maybe get back in the water?”

“Huh?”

Because she was standing up, her breasts were exposed to Alan in their entirety. It didn’t help that the towel could only do so much to conceal her quivering bosom. Hot water slowly drizzled off her peaks into their valley.

“Aaaah!” Having realized the danger, Julia panicked and submerged her body back into the water. At the end of the day, she was embarrassed, too. “I-I’m so sorry!”

If nothing else, at least Alan finally understood where Julia’s head was at. She wanted to thank him for what he’d done. The only reason she expressed it by entering the men’s bath naked and trying to “shovel his back” was because Lithisia had corrupted her mind. The princess was truly a lost cause.

“A-are you sure you don’t want me to shovel your back? I thought that’d be a good way of saying thanks…”

“I’m not really sure it would be.”

Alan had no way of knowing what “shovel” even meant at that point. Nobody did outside of Lithisia, really. It was entirely possible that Julia wanted to scratch at his back with a shovel, but that would hurt. Shovels weren’t meant to be used on human flesh. (Though it was a bit late for that.)

“Oh…” Julia was clearly disappointed. “Um, then, um, what if I did something else?”

“Such as?”

“I’ll do anything! Just ask me…”

“Hrm.”

Julia’s words gave Alan a major case of déjà vu. Her silhouette was still visible, submerged in the water, and the lines of her body were exquisite. The hot water sliding down her slender arms highlighted the whiteness of her skin. She was no doubt astonishingly soft to the touch. Alan called on his adamantine resolve to banish the thought from his mind.

I can’t. I’m a miner. It would go against every miner bone in his body to request the pleasure of someone’s body as a reward for his deeds. That being said, he knew the girl wouldn’t be contented with a half-assed request.

“How about this? Could you pour me some liquor, Julia?”

“Excuse me?” Julia seemed confused.

“There would be no greater reward for me than to have a beautiful girl such as yourself pour me a fine drink in a hot spring.” Alan was quite fond of a good drink, likely due to his distant ancestors being dwarves. Up until now, he hadn’t had much of an opportunity to partake, so he was jonesing.

“Alcohol…?” Julia stared at Alan for a time before snapping to her senses. “Oh! A-all right!”

She gripped the shovel behind her. For some reason, her face was even redder than before. “I-I understand! I’m going to go prepare!”

“Thanks a lot.”

It seemed as though Julia was satisfied with his request.

Shortly, the girl once again entered the hot spring. Still naked. She hopped into the water with a splash, and stood directly in front of Alan. Her eyes were wandering a bit, almost as if she were drunk. For some reason, she didn’t have a single bottle of liquor in hand. All she was holding was the blue shovel Alan had given her.

“Julia?” Alan asked. Where was the booze?

“I-I’m ready to present you with ‘Julia’s Liquor’ now…”

“Er, what?”

At that, Julia began to dance in the water.

The water near her bottom swayed. Of course, Julia was naked, so her bountiful priestess breasts were bare for all to see. Her hair clung to her skin, doing its best to cover the pink tips of her chest, but it was very nearly pointless. As she danced, her bosom bounced up and down hypnotically.

“Hah… Urgh…” She was apparently more than aware of her bouncing breasts, letting out an embarrassed sound as she danced. Even so, she continued her beautiful movements while her lower body swayed gracefully through the hot water.

What exactly am I being forced to watch? Alan wondered.

“J-just a little more…” Above Julia’s head, a mass of blue liquid began to form, almost like rain droplets coming down from the heavens. The girl quickly squeezed her breasts together, catching the liquid on her body. After a brief period of time, a puddle of liquid had gathered atop her massive chest.

“I-It’s ready, Sir Alan…”

What exactly was ready?!

“J-Julia’s…” The girl averted her gaze from Alan while keeping her back straight and thrusting her valley of plenty at him. “J-Julia’s Liquor is ready!”

How did it come to this?!

“By drinking alcohol before performing the Water Summoning Ritual,” Julia explained, “it becomes the Shoveliquor Ritual.”

What type of logic was that?!

“Lady Lithisia tried all sorts of things…!”

Apparently, the princess was on the verge of becoming some kind of genius inventor (if only when shovels were involved).

“I, uh.” Alan was speechless. I only wanted you to pour me some liquor the normal way.

But it was too late for that. Julia stood in front of him with drink collected atop her bosom. She was probably drunk, considering her droopy eyes. She was also likely embarrassed beyond belief, as her entire body gently trembled.

“P-please partake in my liquor…” Julia’s voice shook.

If Alan turned her down here, who knew what damage that might deal her.

“I kind of need a cup.” There was no way he could drink straight from her breasts. That’d be a step too far.

But Julia simply tilted her head in confusion. “Don’t you have a shovel?”

“Huh?”

Drinking with a shovel? Really?

“I was told that drinking with a shovel was common practice in Rostir.”

“Who told you that and when?”

“Lady Lithisia, just earlier.”

The mad princess was on her way to destroying her own nation’s culinary culture.

Meanwhile, Julia continued to keep the pressure on her mighty cleavage. In fact, she increased it. Blue droplets of drink dribbled down her mounds and into the hot spring, almost as if to entice Alan.

He had no choice. He had to drink. Alan steeled his resolve and took his shovel in hand. He was careful not to touch Julia’s skin as he scooped up some of the alcohol with his tool of choice. Despite his efforts, he couldn’t avoid brushing it against her breasts. Each time he did, Julia let loose a hushed moan.

What am I doing? Alan answered the question by repeatedly telling himself that it was all for Julia. And so he continued to scoop up liquor and drink.

The liquid had a rich aroma and tasted pure, and as soon as it found its way down Alan’s throat, he felt as though it cleansed his very soul. It was like drinking water purified by the heavens. The drink was Julia’s heart itself; it was Julia’s essence.

“This is delicious…” Alan unconsciously whispered to himself, causing tears to fall from Julia’s eyes.

“Ah, r-really…?” Julia’s voice was filled with joy. Everything she’d gone through up until now had been worth it. She could barely hold on to the towel. It clung to the tips of her voluptuous chest in an effort to remain. She bowed her head deeply. “Thank you so much… I…I’m so happy!”

With Julia pleased as punch, Alan decided enough was enough. Putting aside that he’d just drunk liquor off of the naked breasts of a priestess, he was…happy. He was happy she was happy. Or at least, that’s what he forced himself to focus on.

“L-Let me prepare some more for you!”

“Wha?”

Julia gripped her shovel and once again began to pray, causing even more liquid to form above her. “P-please partake as much as you want!”

Oh, what the hell. Alan silently extended his shovel toward her. Julia trembled as the tip slid across her breasts.

“Ah, o-oh, Sir Alan!” Julia continued to press her bosom together, drawing Alan’s shovel inward as he continued to thrust it into her cleavage time and time again.

“Delicious,” Alan said. Despite the absurdity of the situation, he was calm. That didn’t mean he wasn’t at all intrigued by the sight before him. It just meant that he was keeping it under control. If I didn’t have my shovel with me, this would’ve been even worse.

Alan had honed his mental faculties long before Julia’s mighty naked shovel liquor. Deep within the mining mountain, where Layer #3,982 connected to The Succubus Palace, Alan had been forced to equip himself with the mental “Shovel Spirit” ability. It was an anti-succubus technique that allowed him to maintain an adamantine mental state in the face of “danger.”

As of late, he’d only really had to use it against Lithisia, but it was pretty dang effective.

“Ah… Aaaaaah!” However, poor Julia had access to no such ability, so she was losing her mind. Her skin quivered with arousal and her eyes overflowed with tears.

I can’t believe he’s drinking so much from me! This is amazing…!

Joy. Pleasure. Shovelation. Julia was filled with both familiar emotions and one particularly nonsensical one, but she was happy. Each time Alan touched her, she felt proud and good. Soft.

Sir Alan, Sir Alan! Aaaah! Julia came to a realization as Alan’s shovel slid in and out and into the valley of her twin peaks. I was born to become a Shovel Priestess. Amazing! Ah, Lady Lithisia! This is what you were talking about!

And just like that, Julia became the Shovel Priestess formerly known as the Water Priestess.

***

The next day, the party traveled back across the desert, heading toward the next destination on their quest.

“Sir Miner, how was Julia’s shovel liquor?”

“My head feels like it’s about to explode.”

“Wow! It was so shovelingly delicious that you’re hungover?”

Nothing mattered to Alan anymore. At least not at this particular moment. The booze had indeed been delightful, but partway through, a sloshed Julia pressed her naked body up against Alan. Her thirsty, drunken gaze was several orders of magnitude more enticing and terrifying than anything Lithisia or Fio could have mustered up.

“Hee hee, Julia looked shovely happy!” Lithisia nodded to herself, satisfied.

Alan thought back on when they departed from the town in the desert. Upon saying goodbye, Julia longingly tugged at the collar of Alan’s shirt.

“Ah, um, e-excuse me!” She quickly let go before casting her tipsy gaze upon him. Her eyes were sparkling, their pupils shaped like shovels. “Sir Alan, I…”

Lithisia whispered to the priestess. “Once we make some progress on our quest, I’ll ask him if we can swing by your village again.”

“Huh? You’d go that far for me?!”

“The Holy Shovel Faith has a pilgrimage. When the time comes…” Lithisia brought her lips even closer to Julia’s ear. “Let’s have Sir Miner do all kinds of shoveling to us.”

“!!”

“We need Sir Miner to father many, many children, after all.”

“Wow, I… I didn’t mean it like that, but… Aaaaah!” The priestess blushed and cast her gaze downward.

That was why Lithisia was so pleased with herself. She’d keep adding wives to the miner’s harem, and eventually the world would be filled with shovels. Yes! I must find new sisters!

The current list of women to be shoveled by Alan was Fio, Catria (sold against her will), Alice (being undead meant it wouldn’t be illegal), and now Julia. But that wasn’t enough. More women around the world needed to be taught the joy of shovels.

Shovel the world! All hail the shovel!

Catria and Alice watched the princess from behind.

“She’s gone, isn’t she?” Catria sighed.

“Was she ever really here to begin with?”

“There was a time when she was a respectable princess. Long, long ago.”

But now the princess was barely human. What point was there in worrying about her condition now?

“So, we’re headed to the nation of ice next, yeah?” Alan asked.

“Correct,” said Catria. “Our country has had little interaction with them.”

She explained further: To the north of Desertopia was a series of snowy mountains, and just beyond them was the nation of ice, Shilasia. Just as one would expect, its average climate was well below the freezing line, and the land was covered in meters upon meters of snow.

“So we’re dealing with snowy mountains next, eh?” Alan rested his shovel on his shoulders and looked at the series of mountains stretching out before him. “Ain’t no better battlefield for a shovel.”

Inside, Catria let out an even deeper sigh. Are there any battlefields where a shovel doesn’t shine?