Part 20: The Miner Faces off against Prime Minister Zeleburg

Part 20:
The Miner Faces off against
Prime Minister Zeleburg

A black, iron tower stood before the party. Its summit was so high that it soared past the clouds, invisible to the naked eye. Its outer walls resembled bones, and molten lava poured out of its windows. Alan surmised that the tower was interdimensionally connected to the Hell Gate, which meant that the molten lava flowed directly from Hell’s Ocean.

So, before entering the tower, Alan decided it would be safest to bury the gate with his shovel.

“How?!”

“Like this.” Alan focused energy into his shovel, and the lava froze in place. Just like that, the door to Hell was closed. The miner had used a technique called “Shovel Seal,” one that he’d used in the deepest depths of his mining mountain in order to bury the Hell Gate there as well.

The shovel was a tool designed to bury things, he explained. That meant one could say burying a gate totally fit within its abilities.

“As if!” Catria interjected with tears in her eyes, but it was no use.

“Shovely shovemazingtastical! (Amazing, Sir Miner! You even shoveled the gate to hell!)”

“At this point, I just feel bad for our enemies,” sighed Alice.

“Don’t let your guard down just yet. Riez, tell us about our enemy again.”

“Righty-o!”

According to Riez, this tower was the evil mage Raystol’s homebase.

“What kind of person is he?” Alan asked. The only info they had yet received was that this Raystol once approached Riez for her help so that he could take over the world.

“He’s an exceedingly powerful mage. More potent even than I, when it comes to magical strength,” Riezfeld explained gravely. “When I turned down his offer, he laughed. ‘He he, Lady Ice Witch, one who could bury this kingdom in snow for all eternity, let us see which of our magics rules supreme,’ he said. Not that I had any interest in that sort of thing.”

Riezfeld sighed, visibly annoyed by the past challenge. She really didn’t have any interest in comparing power levels.

“Magical prowess isn’t my end goal. It’s simply a tool to help me reach the truth of the world. Raystol didn’t seem to understand that,” Riez went on somewhat sadly. As expected of any powerful mage, Riez was guided by her own arcane philosophy.

“Magic exists to make people happy,” Lithisia murmured. “I see… It’s the same as the shovel!”

“No, it’s not.”

“Catria, the shovel makes anything and everything a reality. It’s absolutely the shovely same.”

“Hrm, hrm… I knew it had a fairly wide magical use-case…” Riez jotted something down in her notes, right next to the picture of a shovel and a bunch of other scrawls. The time for interjections had long since passed. It was best to just leave her to her research.

Alice snorted, already bored. “This Raystol fellow does sound quite strong. A mage who has dipped his hands into the darkness, eh?”

“Yes. He formed a pact with a higher demon, allowing him to increase his magical power and… Ah!” Riez suddenly shouted.

“What’s wrong?”

“Er, excuse me. When I faced off against that higher demon… Well, um, this might be kind of important, but I sorta forgot to mention it ’cuz I was frozen for so long. I swear it was just from the shock is all!”

“Calm down,” said Alan.

“Yessir! I’m calm as can be!” Riez took a deep breath. This sage was a ball of nerves.

“Now, go on.”

Riez glanced at Lithisia. “The higher demon mentioned your name, Lithisia…”

“Shoveling shoveltache!” Lithisia let out a surprised (probably?) cry. “Shovelticia shoveling shoveltronic shoveled the last shovel?!”

Lithisia was more incomprehensible than ever.

“Calm yourself,” Alan sighed.

“I am, shovel.”

Her words were a mess, so Alan decided to press forward with the conversation. “Anyway… What was the higher demon’s name?”

“Zeleburg.”

“Nngh!” Lithisia clutched her shovel.

Of course it was. Zeleburg was the villain who stole Lithisia’s country. The mastermind behind everything, and the ultimate villain waiting at the end of their journey. That also meant Zeleburg was effectively Raystol’s boss.

“He was a wonderfully attractive young man, with golden hair and a robe that made him look terribly important.”

“That doesn’t sound like Zeleburg at all.” Lithisia at last wore a serious expression on her face. “Lady Riezfeld, did the man say anything else?”

“Um, well, he said something like, ‘Make sure you capture the princess in the dress, dead or alive.’”

Lithisia’s hands trembled as they held her shovel. “That foul beast got his dirty hands on Shilasia as well?!”

“Why would he want your dead body?” Alan asked the young princess.

After a moment of thinking, Lithisia finally decided to explain. She had been holding herself back because she didn’t want to lie to Alan, but it seemed now she had to come clean. “He said that he wanted to take me as his wife.”

Lithisia was also known as the “Rostir Crown,” and laying claim to her was the easiest way to capture the throne. She looked terribly frustrated as she shook her head back and forth. “When I declined, Zeleburg framed me for the murder of my father.”

“Psychological warfare, eh? But why does he want your body?”

“Well, erm…”

“If you don’t want to talk about it…”

“N-no, it’s not that! I’ll tell you everything, Sir Miner!”

Despite her hesitation, Lithisia took multiple deep breaths.

“When I turned him down, Zeleburg took it strangely well,” she trembled as she recalled his words. “‘Ha ha ha, wonderful! I quite love how stubborn you can be, Your Highness! However, there will be no escape from me. I will make your beautiful heart and body mine, shovel.’”

Time seemed to freeze, as did Lithisia. “Ah… Ah, what blasphemy!”

Except, the blasphemous one in this case was Lithisia.

As usual, Catria was the one to get things back on track. “Hold on, Your Highness.”

“What is it, Catria?”

“I have some doubts about the prime minister’s words. Specifically, the last bit.”

“My memories are as true as the sky is blue. I have embellished nothing.”

“Yeah, sure. Can you please not corrupt the people in your memories with shovels?” For a moment there, Catria actually felt sorry for Prime Minister Zeleburg. How would he feel if he discovered his dramatic closing line had been shoveltized? “Alan, let’s hurry on into the tower. I’m tired of this.”

“Hrmph, the interior is probably full of traps.” Traps specifically designed to capture the princess, no less. With the Silver Orb in their hands, all Raystol and Zeleburg had to do was wait for Alan’s crew to come to them. “It’s going to be dangerous. Wanna wait out here?”

“No, Sir Miner. I must go.” Lithisia put her foot down, puffed out her chest, and gazed defiantly up toward the top of the tower. She clenched her tiny fists. “I swore to rescue my country from the hands of that demonic monster. I’m taking back the Holy Shovel Empire!”

It took all of three seconds for Catria to sigh. This princess was already modifying the name of the country.

***

First, Alan dug an underground passage into the tower with his shovel. After he paused to construct an emergency escape route (nobody was surprised by this stuff anymore), the party destroyed the magic key to the giant steel gate with a shovel (again, nobody was surprised), and they at last infiltrated the tower.

Soon, they reached a floor that was like the kind of giant hall found in a grand castle. On the balcony of the third floor stood a man.

“Ho ho.”

He was a balding man in a sable robe with a skeleton rod in hand. There was little doubt that this was the Raystol from Riez’s story. He looked down at Alan’s party with an evil grin on his face. Surrounding him were warped skeleton warriors wearing blackened steel armor, the classic honor guard for a necromancer. “Master, they have fallen for the bait.”

Raystol’s eyes were fixated on Lithisia. It was then that Riez stepped forward.

“Raystol, your evil ends here!” She pointed her rod at him. Well, it was more like a shovel that had its insides modified to make it work more like a rod.

The necromancer simply laughed at the girl. “He he he, fair Ice Witch, our business has already been settled.”

“I don’t give a damn about settling our score.” Riez raised her rod. “What I do care about is that I can’t let a fellow sage stumble off the path like you have.”

Riez appeared to have some thoughts on the matter of conspiracy with demons, considering she too was a sage.

“You still dare to bare your fangs at me?”

“Of course. Hee hee, I’ve got some real skilled buddies with me now. A knight, a hero, and a princess.”

“A knight and a hero…?” Puzzled, Raystol looked at Alan and Catria. The latter aside, the former appeared to be a regular old miner. He began to laugh, delighted. “Ha ha ha! I thought for a moment that you might really have the numbers, but you’ve simply brought along a meat shield!”

“You’re way wrong. Hee hee, listen to this!” Riez waved her arms to introduce Alan. “The man that stands before you is a Shovel Magic user capable of wielding spells far greater than either of us have access to!”

Catria and Alice said nothing. Alan simply watched the two as they spoke.

Lithisia’s eyes sparkled with glee. “Shovel Magic?! Shovelmazing!”

At length, Raystol sighed. “What nonsense. Is this your attempt to confuse me?”

This was a totally normal response, all things considered. Or at least, that’s what Catria thought. That being said, in the next three minutes, Raystol was doomed.

Raystol coughed and cleared his throat. “I care not about shovels. Now, about my master’s desires…” He turned his gaze to Lithisia. “He wants you, Princess Lithisia.”

The young woman directed a fiercely angry stare at Raystol. It seemed she was angry because of Raystol’s pact with the treacherous Prime Minister Zeleburg, but it was actually because he had claimed that he didn’t care about shovels.

Raystol laughed again. “Oooh, oooh! You look beautiful even when enraged, Princess Lithisia! I see why my master has taken a liking to you. Prime Minister Zeleburg demanded that you be brought back to him… Ah, speaking of which, would you like to speak to him right now?”

Lithisia’s eyes widened. “Is he here?!”

“No, no. But by using an ancient magic called ‘Dimensional Communication’, you may speak to him.” Raystol performed a series of complicated movements and waved his skeletal rod. “My magical powers surpass space itself. Are you impressed?”

Alan could probably do that easily, thought Catria. But of course, Catria read the room and stayed silent, allowing the situation to maintain its serious atmosphere.

“Lord Zeleburg awaits you, Princess Lithisia.”

A crack in space ripped through the center of the room. Through this opening, a red velvet throne room was visible. This was likely Rostir Castle. Sitting on the throne was a young, blond man wearing a robe. It was Zeleburg.

“Well, well. If it isn’t Princess Lithisia. Long time no see! You’re as beautiful as ever,” remarked the young man in a measured voice befitting royalty.

“Grr… Zeleburg! That throne belongs to my father! Get off of it at once!” Lithisia cried. Her voice was filled with rage.

“Ha ha ha, unfortunately for you, all of this already belongs to me.” In his left hand was the crown. He waved it about as though it were a plaything. “I’ve already got my hands on one of two items that serve as proof of my kingship. All I need is the last one. The blood of the royal family. In other words, you, Princess Lithisia.”

Zeleburg cackled, then stood and reached out his hand to the princess. “On your little journey to steal the orbs, you’ve fled all the way to Shilasia. I can’t imagine how hard that’s been for you. Now, come back home. Fear not. I may be a demon, but I deeply love humanity. I firmly believe that I can raise a happy child, build a happy nation, and make you and its people even more happy.”

“…”

“Princess Lithisia. Please accept my love this time.” Zeleburg’s voice was unnaturally kind and affectionate.

“Alan, this guy’s no good…”

The miner nodded in response to Alice’s warning. “Yeah, I’m aware.”

Zeleburg exuded a power similar to a type of magic called “Charm,” but much stronger. Higher level demons were far more talented mages than the average human, and they were capable of wrapping their words in magical energy. This allowed them to brainwash people they communicated with. Faced with this invitation, the average person would be incapable of saying anything but “yes” to Zeleburg.

The average person, that is. That’s why Alan didn’t make a move. Neither did Catria, Alice, or Riez. They all already knew that the princess was no longer average or normal.

“Zeleburg, I’ve already made my decision.” Lithisia gripped her red shovel, a peaceful expression on her face. Then she declared, “I don’t plan on shoveling (verb) with anyone but Sir Miner!”

The crown fell out of Zeleburg’s left hand onto the floor. It rolled for a time before stopping, prompting the demon to speak. “Raystol…”

“Yes?!”

Zeleburg picked his ear with his pinky finger. “Check the spell equation for this magic communication. I picked up some strange noise in my dear Princess Lithisia’s voice just now.”

“E-er, Lord Zeleburg, my spell is perfect!” Raystol broke out in a cold sweat. He was clearly in a panic. The one thing he couldn’t bear was having anyone doubt his magical powers.

“Princess Lithisia definitely…”

“Yes! I definitely said that I would shovel with Sir Miner!”

“There it is again. Perform a check! Are you certain the banned word list isn’t making a mistake?” Zeleburg, by this point quite annoyed, ordered his underling to double-check the spell. Unfortunately, the banned word list wasn’t making a mistake.

“Let me repeat myself, foul beast. I refuse to listen to or engage with your desire to shovel with me! I’ve already made a promise. I could never shovel with anyone besides Sir Miner, shovel!”

“Raystol! This noise is awful! Are you trying to make a fool of me?!”

“No, not at all!” Raystol apologized over and over again.

“Argh! What the hell’s going on here?!”

That’s what I’d like to know, thought Catria as she watched the pathetic middle manager grow increasingly distressed. She sighed and patted the miner on the shoulder. “Alan, I think it’s about time.”

Alan had hung back so that he could gather info on Zeleburg, but he too knew it was time to spring into action. It felt mean to just let Raystol continue spiraling.

“You’re right. In that case…” Alan slashed his shovel through the air, leaving a trail of light behind it. Suddenly, the entire tower began to shake violently. Pieces cracked and tumbled off the walls as the whole structure started to collapse. “This tower gets in the way of doing battle, so how about I just shovel it up?”

“Raystol! What’s that sound?! What’s happening?!”

“I haven’t the slightest!”

As if on cue, Lithisia took a step forward and looked up at Zeleburg on the “screen.” “Let me teach you something, foul creature.”

“Princess Lithisia…?”

“Allow me to explain to you what’s going on in this tower, no, the world!” She raised her shovel high into the air and closed her eyes as though she were praying. “We are in the midst of the Legend of the Shovel.”

Static ran through the video image of Zeleburg.

“Lord Zeleburg, what’s the matter with your face?!”

The demon’s beautiful face was suddenly blank. More accurately, it had taken on the shape of a grey shovel head. His blond hair flowed forth from beneath it.

“Raystol?! What’s going on with my face?! Are you messing with me?!” Apparently, somehow Zeleburg could see the travesty that was now his own face.

“This makes no sense! Why is my communication magic messing up?!”

“This is the power of the shovely shovel.”

“Alan, I’m starting to feel bad for them,” Catria said, wincing. The party’s enemies were being made to look like fools. Just watching was enough to make Catria doubt her own group’s moral center.

But Alan shook his head back and forth. “I’m not doing this.”

“Huh?”

“It’s Lithisia.”

“The princess?!” Catria quickly turned to peer at Lithisia. She was still gripping her red shovel and squaring off against Zeleburg.

“By repeatedly saying ‘shovel,’ she’s invaded Raystol’s mind and implanting the word there. It appears that psychological shoveling is her specialty, while you excel at physical shoveling.”

That last bit was not what Catria wanted to hear, but she generally understood the situation. Long story short, Lithisia had interfered with Raystol’s communication magic. With shovel-related words. All Catria could do was shake her head. The princess she once knew existed no longer.

With a crack and boom, the black tower began to collapse on itself. To Catria, it sounded less like the tower coming apart, and more like the world falling to pieces.

“Raystol! Rayshovel?! What the shovel’s going on?!” Even Zeleburg’s voice had been infected by the noise.

Catria thought back on the demon’s earlier words: “Check the spell equation for this magic communication. I picked up some strange noise in my dear Princess Lithisia’s voice just now.”

Noise? That wasn’t quite right. It wasn’t something as simple as noise.

Ugh, they’re the noise that distorts the world.