Part 27: The Miner Shovels a Storm

Part 27:
The Miner Shovels a Storm

THUS DID THE Ultimate Shovel (named by Lithisia) sail into the open seas.

Alan and Lucrezia stood together on the ship’s deck. About thirty sailors crewed the midsize ship. Its white sails flapped in the strong sea wind, which had them coasting along at high speed. In fact, it was going extremely fast. Unusually extremely. As someone accustomed to sailing on ships, Lucrezia was dumbfounded by its speed.

“What is wrong with this ship? This is not normal! It has to be going at least thirty knots!”

“I have no clue,” said Alan.

This was simply the ship Lithisia had prepared.

Speak of the devil and (s)he shall appear. Someone came up from behind.

“Oh, my! You’ve awoken, Lady Lucrezia!”

Upon hearing her name, the noblewoman turned to find a young lady in a princess dress. Her golden hair fluttered in the sea breeze and reflected the light of the sun. There was no mistaking her radiant smile. This was the first princess of Rostir, Princess Lithisia.

Lucrezia instinctively corrected her posture and paid her respects to the princess. “Your Royal Highness! It is an honor to be in your presence.”

“Now, now. There’s no need to be so serious! I mean…” Lithisia gripped Lucrezia’s hand tightly. “We’re already Sir Miner’s shovel buddies, shovel!”

Lucrezia froze in place. She suddenly felt profoundly seasick, but it wasn’t actually seasickness. She was shovelsick. The noblewoman turned to face Alan, who wore the expression of someone who had long since given up. Lucrezia brought her face close to Alan’s.

“Hey, Alan!” Lucrezia hissed.

“If you have a complaint, take it up with the princess.”

“What did you do to her?!”

Shovel buddies?! In other words, she meant that. That breathtakingly embarrassing, shameful event. Had Alan put Rostir’s first princess through the same exact process? This was traitorous. His entire family line should be sentenced to death for shaming royalty. He should be hung from the neck by his own shovel.

Lithisia giggled. “Fear not, Lady Lucrezia. I’m of perfectly sound mind, shovel!”

“Then why are you adding ‘shovel’ to the end of your sentences?! Did that man shovel you against your will?!”

“Huh?” Lithisia thought for a moment before her cheeks colored. “No… I, um… I asked to be shoveled of my own free will.”

“Y-you asked?!”

“Well, I mean, at first it was really embarrassing, and um, it still is, but, but, being shoveled, being buried… I think it’s important for humanity. I think it’s a holy act! Our holy shovel,” Lithisia explained as she rubbed her hands together bashfully.

Lucrezia was dumbstruck. Lithisia’s words were pure madness, but the light in her eyes was anything but. In fact, if they radiated anything, it was pure logic. This astute princess was being utterly serious. Then did that mean shoveling really was a holy act? Was it really necessary for all of humanity? That accursed shovel had unveiled an entire lifetime’s worth of shame… But in a sense, it did kind of feel good…

Wh-what am I thinking?!

Lithisia giggled. “Sir Miner, it looks like Lady Lucrezia still isn’t used to our shovel language.”

“Compared to you, I ain’t either.”

“Surely you jest! Hey, hey, Lady Lucrezia!” Lithisia pulled at her hand. “Let me show you around the ship! It’s full of all things shovel!”

“Er, huh? Wha?”

“I want you to understand just how wonderful shovels are!”

Lithisia’s eyes sparkled. How could Lucrezia do anything but nod her head in response to the princess? At that, the sparkle in Lithisia’s eyes sharpened.

Eegh.

“Wait, Lithisia,” said Alan. “Let me come with.”

“Huh?!”

“I’m pretty interested in this ship, too. I wanna know all there is to know.”

“Ah, o-okay! Aye, aye!”

Watching Lithisia hurry along, Alan let out a sigh. “Lucrezia, I recommend not getting too close to Lithisia. She’s dangerous for normal folks.”

“Pardon…? That is the last thing I want to hear from you.”

“I’m being serious.”

It wasn’t long before Lucrezia came to realize the grim truth of Alan’s words.

***

According to Lithisia, the secret behind the ship’s speed was in the shape of the sails.

“Shovel Sails will eventually become the standard for all sailing ships.” Lithisia pointed at the shovel-shaped sail overhead. Essentially, it was a triangle-shaped sail, and this form was the most viable for catching the wind.

Lucrezia was impressed, and not a little relieved. The princess actually had proper logic and evidence behind her reasoning. It wasn’t like she was breaking the laws of physics or anything. This innovation was the sort of thing Lucrezia could use on her own merchants’ ships.

“But Lithisia, I imagine it must’ve been quite the task putting up shovel-shaped sails.”

“The gentleman at the Shovel Shipyard did it for us in a night.”

“Shovel Shipyard?”

Lithisia had convinced Scott of the Scott Shipyard to change the name to Shovel Shipyard. As his first new product, he constructed the Shovel Sail.

Lucrezia could feel the sweat coming down her forehead. “I-I see.. Uh huh… Wait…”

Something was very, very wrong. There was nothing strange about a shipyard developing a hot new product. In fact, that was what they were supposed to do. But, well, did businesses often change their names based on their newest product?

Lithisia’s explanation continued. “These are Shovel Oars. They’re thirty times more efficient than regular ones!”

“Oars, too? Well, I suppose I understand…”

Since a shovel was a shape that could easily catch air, it’d make rowing through the water a breeze.

“The Shovel Figurehead gives us the courage to face fate itself!”

“F-figureheads are just meant to be a kind of good luck charm.”

“Shovel Trump! When you’re bored on the open seas, playing a few rounds will turn that frown upside down! And since the cards have shovel patterns, it’s extra fun! Instead of a spade, you have shovel heads! Instead of hearts, you have heart-shaped shovels! Instead of clovers, you have flathead shovels! Instead of diamonds, you have diamond-head shovels!”

“Diamond?!”

“It’s entertainment. But wait! There’s more.”

“What?”

Lucrezia’s brain was starting to freeze up, but Lithisia kept going.

“Shovel Beds! Holes dug up using shovels, designed to serve as prime resting spots for when you need to catch some shoveleye!”

“These are just graves!”

“Shoveling Cannons. Since the rounds are shaped like shovels, their piercing power is five times better than normal rounds!”

“There is no way these rounds will fit inside of the cannons!”

“Shovel Navigation! A state-of-the-art original form of navigation designed around deciding which direction to proceed in based on how the shovel falls down from a standing position.”

“That is completely random!”

“The Shovepass. An advanced modern tool combining the properties of a standard compass with that of a shovel. Based on how the shovel vibrates, we can determine the distance to land, the locations of reefs and shallows, and even figure out when storms are on the horizon—”

“Um, excuse me, but… Princess Lithisia?!” Lucrezia could handle no more as she shouted at the princess.

“Yes? What is it, shovel?”

“Shovel?! No! This is all kinds of ridiculous! Especially that last thing!” Lucrezia felt like her thought process had been blown into the horizon. Everything was out of whack, especially that compass and shovel combination. If one could so easily increase the accuracy with which storms were predicted, sea travel would enter a new era. The Great Shovel Era.

Lithisia giggled. “Then I’ll simply show you.”

“What?”

“We have a real Shovepass in the captain’s room.”

Lithisia grabbed the noblewoman’s hand and pulled her along. Was this Shovepass something Lucrezia should really lay her eyes upon? Was this something humanity was ready for? As Lucrezia began to sense the danger to her common sense, a voice cried out from the captain’s room.

“We’ve got a response on the Shovepass! A storm’s coming!”

The warning bell rang out. In response, an urgent atmosphere took the ship as the crew ran to their stations. Everyone looked desperate. One man ran past Lucrezia and Lithisia, yelling for people to get inside the ship and hold on.

Wait, it really predicted a storm?!

“Lady Lucrezia, shall we head inside?”

“A-all right.” Lucrezia knew full well how terrifying a powerful storm could be on the open seas. They rarely occurred in this region, but when they did, they were overwhelming. Her body trembled in fear.

Then one of the crew let out a manly laugh. “Worry not, Lady Lucrezia!”

“Huh?”

“This ship ain’t sinking as long as we got this!” The man pulled something from the pocket on his chest. It was a silver pendant that sparkled in the light. Its shape was quite familiar. “We’ve got these shovel blessings!”

It was a shovel-shaped pendant.

The storm hadn’t arrived yet, but another storm brewed in Lucrezia’s soul.

“Princess Lithisia, please do not tell me you intend to ward off the storm with those shovel trinkets…” Lucrezia asked, knowing full well what the answer would be.

“Of course not.”

“Really?!” That was the opposite of what she expected. It was the most surprising moment of the day by far.

A somber expression formed on Lithisia’s face. “Unfortunately, these charms are nothing more than trinkets, as you said.”

“I thought so!”

“But the crew needs them.” Lithisia tightly gripped her own shovel. “On its last voyage, this ship ran across an awful storm and lost eight of its crew.”

“…”

“A shovel like mine can’t stop storms. But thanks to innovations like the Shovel Sail, these sailors have come to believe that the shovel can beat back a storm.” Lithisia’s body was trembling. “Even when I told them that wasn’t the case.”

It wasn’t the storm that made her quiver. It was the fear that came with someone believing in her.

A member of the crew dashed past Lucrezia and Lithisia, holding his own little shovel. He was steadfast and full of confidence, with not a lick of doubt in his movement.

“Lady Lucrezia. That man wants to believe in something. Something bigger and beyond our understanding. And by doing so, he finds the courage to act. That’s why even though I know these charms have no special power…” Lithisia further gripped her shovel. “I have to believe in the shovel, for their sake.”

Lucrezia couldn’t respond. She felt deep down that Lithisia was right. The power to believe. Perhaps that was the core of what a shovel truly was. Maybe I was wrong?

The ship began to rock. The storm was getting closer. It was time to head inside.

“Huh?” Lithisia began to look around. “Lady Lucrezia, where’s Sir Miner?”

Now that she mentioned it, Alan hadn’t chimed in at all. He was nowhere to be found, though at least it was highly unlikely that he had been knocked overboard.

“Ah!” Lithisia raised her voice in shock. Alan was standing at the very front of the ship, holding his shovel overhead as it gathered familiar blue energy.

“Sir Miner?!” Lithisia cried out, but Alan didn’t turn around.

Directly ahead of him was the source of this fierce storm, an ashen cloud.

The energy he’d gathered exploded upward and enveloped the entire ship. Simultaneously, that same blue energy began to flow out of Lithisia and the crew, eventually joining the energy surrounding the ship to form a shining shield that protected the vessel from the rain and wind.

“With this much Shovel Power, we should be set.” Alan gripped his shovel. The ship’s aura once more gathered at the head of his shovel and hovered there as a ball. Lucrezia felt an amazing amount of pressure coming from it.

What is he planning? W-wait a moment!

Just as Lucrezia began to guess what he was up to, Alan shouted.

“DIG!”

The Wave Motion Shovel Blast activated. From the head of Alan’s shovel erupted a massive ball of energy larger than even the enormous storm clouds billowing in the distance. At first it seemed to pierce the clouds, but a moment later, the clouds were sent flying as if they had been hit. The blue bolt became a sparkling rainbow and disappeared. Rays of sunshine rained down from a clear sky.

The only person who seemed unmoved by the sight was Alan, who returned to where Lithisia and the others were.

“The storm’s gone. Let’s keep moving.”

Lithisia scuttled close to Alan and, holding her shovel tightly, began to cry. “Th-thank you so much, Sir Miner…”

She fell to her knees and dropped her hands, sobbing. From behind her she could hear the crew shouting, “ALAN.” Each of them held a shovel in the air, surrounding Lithisia and Alan as they chanted his name like a prayer.

Lucrezia’s consciousness found itself attached to those voices. Something hot built up in her chest. This…this is it! This is the true form of the shovel!

At this very moment, Lucrezia was witnessing a miracle. No, the birth of a legend.

Lithisia’s eyes glinted. “Wonderful! Mission accomplished—eek!”

Alan had lightly bopped her on the head. “Lithisia, quit it with the freaky performance art. You knew this was going to happen, didn’t you?”

“Wh-whatever could you mean?!” Lithisia began to panic. The jig was up.

Lucrezia looked back and forth at the two of them, unable to keep up with the revelations.

“You knew I was going to shoot the storm with my Wave Motion Shovel Blast.”

“Shoveling shoveltache?! (The sound Lithisia makes when her lies are uncovered.)”

“Stop trying to make Lucrezia into one of your followers.” Alan turned to the noblewoman. “Don’t take her so seriously.”

“Huh, y-you mean that was all a performance?”

“All to get you to become a part of her bizarro religion.”

“Wha?!” Lucrezia looked at the depressed Lithisia and felt her stomach drop and a chill run down her spine. Alan was right. Princess Lithisia was extremely dangerous.

“And you need to be careful from here on out, Lithisia.”

“I’m sorry, Sir Miner. I’ll shovel reflect on my actions.”

“No shoveling. Just reflecting.”

“Shovely wovely!”

Lucrezia watched in complete silence. “But…”

It may have been true that Lithisia’s anxiety and gratitude were all an act. But that didn’t make the sky less blue and cloudless. Alan had blown the storm entirely away. In all this madness, that singular truth was inescapable.

“Who…” Lucrezia murmured.

“Hrm?”

“Who, no, what are you?”

“Just a miner,” Alan answered.

“LIKE HELL YOU ARE JUST A MINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!” Lucrezia screamed out into the open ocean. She beat her fists on Alan’s chest, weeping openly. “Can you not be more human?! Can you not use words I understand?! You dreadful, woeful man!”

Catria and Alice watched this precious moment from afar.

“Awesome! I finally have an ally!” Catria did a fist pump. A rational ally. Now she wouldn’t have to die of overwork on the next journey!

“Wait, Catria. What about me? Aren’t I one of your anti-shovel allies?” said the completely naked silver-haired girl with the astral body.

“You’re no good.”

“Why?!”

Alice already belonged to the princess. Especially since they’d been getting along as of late. Plus, the other night she was whispering, “Lovely… Shovely…” in her sleep. Not to mention the blonde-haired princess drawing close to her as of this very moment would never let her be free.

“What do you mean by anti-shovel, shovel?” Lithisia wore a smile on her face, but in her right hand was a red shovel.

“Gaaaaah!”

“Alice, didn’t you enjoy our shovel sesh last night?”

Alice began to tremble, tears and snot covering her face. “Th-that’s not what I said! You misheard me! Y-yeah! I was just talking about my plan to, uh, annihilate anti-shovel heretics so as to make your conquest go smoother! Ah, O, Mighty Shovel! Yes, give me a shovel! It gets so shaky out here on the open seas! I might fall in without it!”

“Oh, good point. You should definitely shovelize (stabilize) yourself.” Lithisia gasped as she came upon yet another awful idea. “Onboard bathing suit shoveling!”

In other words, Lithisia would stuff Alice into a bathing suit and tie her to the mast, then shovel her. And since she’d be in a bathing suit (a one-piece, at that), it wouldn’t be a criminal act! Plus, if she fell into the ocean, she’d be fine. Not to mention, with Alice attached to the mast, there’d be all sorts of shovely shoveling low-angle shovel goodness. Three birds with one shovel! Lithisia was extremely pleased.

“Wh-what’s wrong with you?! If you do that, I…!”

Alice stared up at the mast. She was going to get tied all the way up there? Was she going to be shoveringed (a new sport) in such a thrilling spot? Was she going to feel the cool sea breeze against her skin while being shoveled? Just imagining the scenario was enough to make Alice go limp.

Lithisia cackled. “I can tell you’re excited! Your astral body sure is honest, shovel!”

“N-no, that’s not it! I swear!”

“I’m sure your beautifully shovely skin will look amazing against the white sails~!”

And so Princess Lithisia tied Alice to the Shovel Mast, pure delight written on her face. The older, bearded members of the crew began to gather around to see what was going on. Catria watched the sequence play out like it was some sort of religious ceremony. Well, it basically was one. After a while, she turned her gaze to the sky.

“It’s so blue.” She was just running away from reality.

“Catria! Can you help me out, shovel?”

“I’d rather die, Princess Lithisia.”

Like hell she would help with this unholy ritual. She was a proud knight, and her duty was to protect humanity from being sullied by the curse of the shovel.

Er, wait a second. Was that always her duty? No, it was. She got the feeling something was wrong with her logic.

Catria’s well on her way… Lithisia watched Catria from a distance and smiled happily.

“The politicians of the Republic are now under my command. The plan is coming along shovelingly.” Lithisia gripped her red shovel. “Sir Miner, please watch over me. I promise…”

Her eyes shone brilliantly in the shape of shovels.

“I promise I’ll become a Shovel Princess!”

***

Thus did the party’s journey across the sea continue. The next step in the quest for the orbs and Lithisia’s grand ambitions lay just beyond the great ocean.

This was the beginning of what would be referred to in the history books as the “Great Shovel Navigation Era.”