Part 28: The Miner Saves Lala, the Mermaid Girl

Part 28:
The Miner Saves Lala,
the Mermaid Girl

Alan stood on the deck of the Ultimate Shovel as waves murmured against the hull. With him stood the noblewoman, Lucrezia; the lady knight, Catria; and of course, the captain, Princess Lithisia.

“Our voyage is right on schedule.”

They were now several weeks at sea, northeast of the Lactia Republic, quite far from the mainland. All around, they could see nothing but for the vast ocean stretching out in every direction. Furthermore, they were in an area frequently struck by fierce storms where ships often met their end. As such, it wasn’t a trade route, and ships rarely ever charted their voyage through it.

It was, in other words, a part of the ocean largely untouched by humanity. At the center of it all, Lucrezia explained, was the mermaid paradise, “Mermaid Oasis.” Being the daughter of a merchant, Lucrezia knew quite a bit about the ocean.

“Mermaids, eh? I had no idea they really existed…” Catria said.

Sure, she knew about demi-humans that resembled animals, but to Catria, mermaids were mythical creatures. She knew them as beings skilled in song and had heard legends that humans who received a mermaid’s blessing were able to move beneath the ocean’s surface with no trouble at all. It was also said that consuming a mermaid’s flesh would grant immortality. A dubious tale at best.

“But I guess at this point, it’d be weirder if they didn’t exist.”

After all, a man who could fire a Wave Motion Shovel Blast from his shovel was standing next to Catria. At this point, mermaids were nothing.

“According to my father, there is a set of ruins sunk deep within the Mermaid Oasis,” said Lucrezia.

That was likely the location of the Green Orb.

“Deep within, eh?” said Alan. “Hrm. How are we going to get to it?”

A voice cried out from the crow’s nest, causing everyone on deck to tense. “Thar be the shallows! That’s gotta be the Mermaid Oasis! All crew, Shovel Salute!”

The thunder of the ship’s whole crew running up and stabbing their shovels into the deck filled the air. In an instant, the crew was lined up in a row with their shovels positioned before them. As one, they used both hands to form a triangle; a strange pose indeed. This was their way of saluting the shallows. They didn’t move a muscle beyond that.

“Princess, what’s going on?”

“You don’t know, shovel? My dear Catria, to think you lack common knowledge of proper conduct on the sea.”

“I’m of the opinion that you’re the one who lacks common sense, Your Highness.”

“What you’re looking at is diplomatic courtesy. We’re paying our respects to the mermaids. By stabbing our shovels into the deck, we express that we have no ill intent. By greeting them with the shape of the shovel, we show that we come in peace. This is the respectable way to signal amicable relations upon the open seas.”

This greeting would be entirely meaningless to someone not of the Holy Shovel Faith.

“Um, you guys are destroying the deck with your shovels, though.”

“It’s fine. I shall welcome all the mermaids into our marvelous religion! The holes in the deck will be filled in due time.”

What in the hell is she talking about? cried Catria deep within her heart of hearts. “Alan, please do some…Alan?”

“This is bad…” Alan whispered to himself. His line of sight was fixed on the shallows in the distance, which were just barely visible. That said, Alan’s eyesight was far, far above average. He could spot a gemstone up to ten miles away. “I can see a mermaid, but…they’re being attacked by hawkmen.”

On one of the submerged rocks jutting from the shallows cowered a small mermaid girl. She was surrounded by four or five monsters, hawkmen, wielding harpoons. She appeared to be alone.

“Then it’s time for your trusty Wave Motion Shovel Blast!” said Lithisia.

“No, the rock is too small. If I dig a hole in it, she’ll fall off,” said Alan.

“You could always…not dig a hole?” said Catria.

“Then how could he ever call himself a miner? Catria, are you out of your mind?”

In that instant, Catria received the greatest shock of her life: the princess doubted her sanity.

“Then let’s fly, Sir Miner!”

“No, that won’t work. Because of the terrain effect on the Ultimate Shovel, my Shovel Power is too strong. If I try to fly, I’ll create a sonic boom that will destroy the ship.”

“I’d argue destroying this ship would be for the betterment of humanity,” muttered Catria. But her comment was swallowed by the empty sky.

“I’m going to use the Shovel Rifle this time,” said Alan.

“Wait, isn’t that the thing that turns the ground into bullets?” asked Catria.

“Correct.”

“We’re on the ocean.”

“Sure are.” Alan raised his shovel and leapt down from the bow of the ship. At the same time, he slapped one of his extra shovels on the ocean surface. Then, just like on the snowy mountain of the ice nation Shilasia, the shovel expanded in width and length until Alan could surf atop it.

“That’s Sir Miner’s Water Shovelboard!” Lithisia explained as her voice sparkled with joy.

“Your Highness, did you just come up with that excruciatingly lame name?”

“No, Catria. It was a name given unto us by the heavens above. Truly a shovel fit for the sea!”

Someone remind me why I work for this woman…

Just as Catria tipped into an existential crisis, the mermaid’s cries echoed across the shallows.

The mermaid was still a child, and her expression was that of despair. She was on the verge of being kidnapped by hawkmen and there was no one to save her. Her eyes cried out for help: I’m scared! Don’t come any closer! Someone save me!

Those who sought salvation would be saved. That was the miner way. Alan skidded ever closer on his Shovelboard, waves flying in his wake.

“If there’s no ground…” Alan once again raised his shovel and focused his energy into it. “DIG!”

KA-CHOOOOOOOOM!

He directed his Wave Motion Shovel Blast at the ocean itself. His beam dove deep beneath the surface—a thousand feet deep, to be specific. The width of the beam grew to many thousands of times more than the radius of the shovel, making the ocean look like a giant stake was sticking out of it. In the end, the Wave Motion Shovel Blast’s total diameter exceeded one mile, breaking the ocean in two.

The mermaid gaped in shock.

The hawkmen gaped in horror.

Lithisia clapped in delight. “Shovelmazing!”

Catria was empty of any emotion.

Thanks to the Wave Motion Shovel Blast, everyone could see the seafloor.

Alan nodded in satisfaction. “Perfect, there’s the some good earth down there. Bullet fodder aplenty.”

Three! Alan threw his shovel down and scooped up some dirt.

Two! Alan fired his Shovel Rifle at the hawkmen, but the shocked monsters were frozen in place.

One! Kathunk, BOOM.

In three seconds, the hawkmen had been annihilated.

While this happened, the mermaid girl stared, jaw hanging, at Alan, her expression utterly still.

Alan turned over his shoulder and called back to the ship. “Catria, never forget…”

“What now?”

“You implied I wouldn’t be able to use the Shovel Rifle above water, no? Well, you see…” Alan adjusted the shovel in his hands. “When it comes to nautical combat, the shovel is the most powerful weapon in the world.”

Catria let out the greatest sigh of all time. As she stared at the giant hole in the ocean Alan had created with his Wave Motion Shovel Blast, she thought to herself, I’m not sure this qualifies as nautical combat anymore.

The mermaid girl sat unmoving, her mouth fixed wide open. Catria really felt for her.

***

“Kweh?! Kweh, kwehhhhh!!!”

They carried the mermaid girl back to the Ultimate Shovel and treated her with Shovel Healing, which somewhat lessened her confusion. Nonetheless, she looked at Catria and the others with tears in her eyes and made a trail of sad, sweet noises. She was quivering in fear. On occasion, she looked overboard at the ocean and moaned, “Kweh.” She clearly wanted to escape over the edge and flee, but they were so high up in the air that she was scared.

“My father was able to communicate with mermaids via a treasure known as ‘Mermaid Tonic,’” Lucrezia explained apologetically. Unfortunately, she didn’t have any on hand. “This will be a problem. We must ask her where the ruins are.”

“Don’t worry, Lucrezia. I have a shovel.”

“Excuse me?”

Alan gingerly tapped his shovel against the deck of the ship. Just like that, walls rose up, surrounding the mermaid. The wooden walls were inscribed with a morass of letters and characters in different languages. When Alan knocked on one of the walls, a large hole opened in it.

The mermaid girl continued to shake in fear. “No, please! No eat! I taste no good!”

Alan smiled at her. “Hey there, don’t worry, no one’s gonna eat you. I promise.”

The mermaid girl started. “Eh…? You understand mermaid…?”

“That I do. My name is Alan. What’s yours?”

The mermaid girl summoned her courage and met his eyes. “Lala…”

“Lala, eh? Well, I took care of those nasty hawkmen. You’re safe now.”

Lucrezia watched Alan and Lala converse with a puzzled look on her face. “Alan, what exactly did you do?”

“Just poked a hole in the wall that is language. Nothing to it.”

“‘That’s all’ my foot!”

Having Lucrezia around sure does take some of the straight-man burden off of me, Catria thought as she gazed with relief upon the only other sensible human on the ship.

Meanwhile, Lala remained altogether bewildered by her predicament. “No eat me?”

“Nope, and that’s a promise. I’ll have you know a miner’s favorite food is jewels, not mermaids.”

“That’s silly… Hee hee.”

Alan’s dumb miner joke went over well, and the mermaid girl giggled. She fanned her tail and bowed her head deeply. “Thank, Alan. I owe you, gratitude.”

Due to the Shovel Translation, her sentences were a bit spotty, but the meaning got through just fine. The tense atmosphere finally faded.

Alan shook his head. “No need for thanks. Any shovel wielder would’ve done the same.”

“Shovel…wielder? Humans, amazing!”

“He’s not human,” said Catria.

“Yes, I am. This lady knight right here, Catria, can do what I did, too.”

“I will never shovel a thing!”

As they descended into banter, Lucrezia interrupted with all the genteel grace she possessed as a noble. There was nothing wrong with a cozy little chat, but there was a great deal they needed to learn from this girl. “So, Lala. Do you have any mermaid friends?”

Lala turned in on herself, eyes on her hands. She whispered, voice frail, “They taken…away. All but me.”

“Taken? By who?”

“Lernia Hydra.” Lala cast her gaze across the ocean. “The master of ocean. I could, never defeat, that.”

Tears gathered in Lala’s eyes, sliding down her cheeks. But before they hit the deck, Alan caught them with his shovel. “Understood.”

“Eh…?”

“So we just gotta beat that Hydra thing, right?”

The mermaid girl blinked rapidly and frowned up at Alan. She clearly couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Alan…Alan, can’t! We…different.”

“How so?”

“You are of land. I am of ocean.” Lala shook her head. “Those of ocean mustn’t rely on those of land. Must settle own matters. Rule of ocean.”

This was likely some manner of mermaid rule put in place to protect the independence of their species.

“Well, it’s too late for that,” said Alan. “I already saved you from the hawkmen, didn’t I?”

“Y-yes, but…well…”

“Plus, I’m a miner. I’m a man of the ocean.”

“Eh…? Alan, two things, not connected.”

“The land and the ocean are absolutely connected. Deep at the bottom of the ocean is the ground. And that means…” Alan pointed his shovel at the surface of the water. His gaze descended far below, into the depths. “The ocean floor is also a shovel battlefield.”

Catria sighed as she looked at Lala, whose mouth was once more wide and gaping. Catria knew all too well there was no such thing as a non-shovel battlefield.