Part 39: The Princess Holds a Shovelive

Part 39:
The Princess Holds a Shovelive

Deep within a prison surrounded by boiling magma was a red-haired girl in chains with no clothes to speak of.

“Kuro…”

She was the head of the resistance, Odessa. Her body was caked in blood from countless whippings and every one of her nails was horrifically cracked. This was the end result of torture. In the demons’ search for Kuronono, they had subjected Odessa to the most brutal of interrogations.

A clump of blood rose in her throat. Had Kuronono managed to see the light of day? She could think of nothing else.

The only thing left in this country was despair. If nothing else, Odessa wanted the tiny princess to see the light of the outside world. That had been her sole desire as she helped the girl flee. The whole thing about “delivering a message to the outside world” had been nothing more than a ruse to convince Kuronono to leave her comrades.

The kingdoms of man stood no chance against these terrifying demons. Even a thousand soldiers would be instantly massacred by a single higher demon, and the sad fact was that over three hundred thousand of those very creatures now occupied the Kingdom of Darkness. Humanity was finished.

“Argh…”

Odessa’s heart was already broken, but she somehow clung to consciousness by calling out Kuronono’s name.

“Nono…”

“It’s time. Get up.”

A demon dragged Odessa upright. She was to be subjected to yet another round of endless agony. Sharp claw tips pierced her head, flooding her with intense heat. The inside of her brain was being toyed with. Her tears wouldn’t stop—tears not of pain, but of powerlessness.

The demon’s voice and her own internal voice overlapped.

The revolution failed. Why? Because you weren’t strong enough.

Odessa knew she was far from strong enough. She wanted more strength. Needed it, needed power…power a human could never hope to possess.

“The thirst is strong in this one. She will make for a good seedbed.”

With all the brainwashing, Odessa couldn’t tell the demon was smiling. The desire for power had been implanted within her so she could become the best possible seedbed.

Her consciousness was fading, along with her life as a thinking human. At the end of it all, she called out a single name. “Kuronono…”

Gods above, I beg of you. At least allow her to see the light.

In that moment, for some reason Odessa’s vision blurred. A vision of Kuronono appeared before her.

I must be dreaming… She’s smiling… She must’ve made it, then… I’m so glad… I can see her so clearly… She’s wearing a pink micro bikini… She looks so embarrassed, the way she’s holding that shovel between her thighs… Wait a second.

“WHY IS SHE IN A BIKINI, AND WHAT’S WITH THE SHOVEL?!”

The second Odessa snapped to her senses and cried out, she could hear Kuronono’s voice accompanied by an explosion of some kind. The demon standing before Odessa had been blown to fine particulate matter, and from behind it appeared the princess alongside a man Odessa did not recognize. The princess was wearing an outrageously inappropriate bikini, and she looked unspeakably shy about it.

As soon as Kuronono saw Odessa, she trotted over. “Odessa! Odessa! Hang in there!”

“Argh… Is it really you, Kuronono?! Why are you dressed like that?!”

“Huh!?! U-um, a lot has happened since I left!”

That really didn’t explain anything. Odessa wanted to say as much, but she realized now wasn’t the time. “Kuronono, why did you come back?! You must flee this place at once!”

The princess and the man accompanying her had managed to take out one of the torturers by a stroke of luck. The torturers were nothing compared to the true demon knights, however.

“Enemy attack! Enemy attack! Teleportation Alert!”

The eerie clanging of an enormous bell echoed throughout the underground. The open plaza in front of the cells soon flooded with a horde of demons over a hundred strong. They howled into the dark air as they charged Odessa’s cell.

This is bad! They’ve already been found!

“Ah! Sir Alan, the enemy’s coming!” Kuronono cried.

“Perfect. Just do exactly as I said.”

“R-right!” Clad in her bikini, Kuronono raised her small shovel above her head.

“You bastard! What are you making her do?!” snarled Odessa.

“Shovel,” said the man.

A beam of light blue energy fired from Kuronono’s shovel, completely obliterating three demons who had dared approach Odessa’s cell.

“I-I did it, Sir Alan!” Kuronono exclaimed as she clutched her shovel and struck a cute pose. Th-this is awkward, but it’s my responsibility now!

As for why Alan had taught Kuronono Shovel Combat? Well, on the way to the prison, Kuronono spoke to Lithisia about this very matter. She took Lithisia’s sagely words to heart; the truth was clear to her now.

Sir Alan likes girls in bikinis who fight with shovels!

In a short time, her shovel corruption had grown to an absurd level.

“Huh…?” Odessa’s eyes rolled back in her head in bewilderment.

“Heh, all I did was give you a nudge, and you’ve already developed these skills?” said Alan. “Your potential is second only to Catria’s, Kuronono.”

“R-really?!”

“Yes, even your shovel form was youthful and energetic. Oh, and your quads in particular have room for further growth.”

“Ah, um, er, eeek.” Kuronono fidgeted.

Odessa, on the other hand, was still unable to move in addition to being deeply appalled. However, she also saw the incoming legion of demons and yelled at Alan. “Get out of here! Just because you managed to defeat a few demons…”

“Now then, Kuronono. Watch and learn.” In the next moment, Alan’s Shovel Power exploded into the air. “DIG!”

KA-CHOOOOOOOOM!

Shotgun Wave Motion Shovel Blast. A dozen currents of light blue energy swallowed the demons whole, disintegrating the lot of them.

Kuronono couldn’t help but raise her voice, impressed by the sight before her. “Oh my gosh! Sir Alan’s shovel is amazing!”

“All right, let me unlock your chains,” Alan said to Odessa as he posed with his shovel. (Note: It was a mind-bogglingly cool pose.)

The chains on Odessa’s wrists and ankles fell to the floor with a clank, and her cell door popped open. All locks had keyholes, and if the keyhole was destroyed, so too was the lock. That was why the almighty shovel, ruler over all holes, could destroy them at will. It was simple logic.

Alan reached his hand out to Odessa, who was still more or less petrified. “You’re the head of the resistance, Odessa? I’m here to save you.”

The mysterious man with a shovel and the bikini-clad shovel girl Kuronono who followed his orders… Odessa stared at the two of them and thought to herself, How did all of this happen?

***

Upon saving Odessa, Alan and Kuronono fled with her to a grand dining hall within the underground.

At present, Catria and Lithisia were acting as a separate squad and using the underground battleship SS Scoop to free another mountain in the kingdom. Catria’s shovel power was already impressive, and when she teamed up with Lithisia, the two of them could easily take down some two hundred demons all on their own, the only problem of course being that Catria’s eyes would look dead the whole time. Oh well!

Here, meanwhile, Odessa and Kuronono were reunited in the dimly lit room, which pulsed with the unholy glow of a nearby magma river. Odessa, the red-haired girl, huddled in a chair. Though she had been naked in her cell, she was now attempting to cover up with a spare cape she had found.

“Odessa! I’m so glad you’re okay! I…I…!” Kuronono hugged her with tears in her eyes.

“W-wait just a second, Kuronono. I’m not sure I understand what’s going on.”

In particular, Odessa couldn’t wrap her head around the dubiously tiny pink micro bikini the princess was wearing.

Kuronono waved away Odessa’s fears and explained everything in a way she thought above reproof, but her tale of Wave Motion Shovel Blasts, underground Shovel Ships, and “shoveling” with miners only left Odessa with her head in her hands.

That didn’t answer anything! Now I just have more questions!

Quite frankly, Kuronono’s words were harder to deal with than the demons’ brainwashing.

“Kuronono, why don’t you stop there for now,” said Alan. “We have to let Odessa rest.”

“Yeah… I feel more exhausted than I did after getting tortured…” Odessa slumped out of her chair to curl up on her side right on the unforgiving stone floor. Just then, she realized her sizable breasts were completely visible. Ah, that’s right. They took my clothes.

This strange miner was still in the room, but Odessa didn’t have the energy to cover up. Kuronono hurriedly stood and threw Odessa’s cape over her.

“I-I’m sorry, Odessa. I forgot you still have no clothes. Ah! That’s right! I have an extra set.” Kuronono rummaged through the paper bag beside her. The first thing she pulled out was a white string of some kind. It was attached to a thin piece of fabric with a ribbon.

In other words, it was another micro bikini.

“…”

Kuronono bowed her head apologetically. “It’s small, but it should stretch! I-I know it’s a little much, but it’s better than being naked!”

I’d rather be naked, Odessa said in her mind before at last falling unconscious.

***

As Odessa slept, she achieved an inner tranquility that allowed her to listen to Alan’s explanation once she woke. She remained silent for a full thirty minutes during his tale.

“I’m just going to split the difference here and pretend I understand for the most part,” Odessa said at last.

“I’m glad you’re quick on the uptake,” Alan said.

“I’m not.”

This was what Odessa had surmised: this bikini business was all Alan’s weird taste, and the shovel was some kind of bizarre magic. She had completely misunderstood everything, but at this point, nobody had the energy (or the inkling) to correct her.

More importantly, every second they sat around talking, humans were being murdered by the demons. They had to kickstart this revolution as soon as possible.

It was for that very reason that Odessa, as the resistance leader, was needed. Her resolve was particularly crucial.

But Odessa despondently shook her head. Her heart had been temporarily confused by the shovel, but at the end of the day, her own powerlessness was carved into her soul. “There’s no point… We have no weapons, and our morale is at rock-bottom… We can’t defeat the demons. We never could.”

Odessa had spent years trying to come up with strategies and tactics to lead her people to freedom, but it was impossible. Humans were inferior creatures. This was true in terms of strength, weapons, and knowledge. But the biggest problem of all was that…

“The resistance…doesn’t exist anymore.”

She meant this literally. Odessa and Kuronono were the only remaining survivors of “Humanity’s Fangs,” the anti-demon resistance force. Everyone else had been captured by the demons. Everything went up in (literal) flames three days ago, when the entire resistance was gathered at their secret base to look into the development of anti-demon weapons. In the middle of their meeting, a fireball was launched directly into the hideout, incinerating most of their organization.

Those who survived met an even more horrible fate. Ever since the demons had gained control of the Kingdom of Darkness, a river of magma had come to flow just beneath it. All through the kingdom, crevasses opened straight to it. The remaining members of the resistance had been tossed into one of these crevasses while they were still alive.

The only ones left were Odessa and Kuronono.

“Ngh…!”

“Kuronono, I’m sorry you had to hear it like this, but…I’m sorry. There’s no hope left.” Odessa smiled bleakly.

It had taken her three years to build the resistance. With them, Odessa had friends and comrades. She had Kuronono. They were why she had been able to fight for so long. But as she saw each and every person she cared about thrown into the magma, her fighting spirit burned away to nothingness.

I’m…no, all humanity is helpless. That’s all we are.

Kuronono embraced Odessa. “I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t know. It must’ve been so hard for you…”

The princess felt her own tears dripping onto her skin. Odessa also began to cry. Kuronono’s tears…were warm.

That’s why I tried my best to save her. Even her tears are like sunshine. I wanted to make a world where everyone could smile… Odessa thought.

But this world had little room for the brightness of fantasies and fairy tales. Odessa let out a wail of despair.

“They dumped your friends into the magma, eh?” said Alan. “Got it. One sec, lemme scoop them out.”

“Excuse…me?”

With a clank, Alan hoisted up his shovel and jogged over to a nearby crevasse running through the dining hall. He thrust his shovel straight into the molten red current of the magma coursing within.

Kersplash!

Almost as if he were pulling a fish from the water, a woman appeared.

“DIG!”

As soon as Alan shouted, the magma around her instantly dispersed.

The woman was no stranger to Odessa. She was in fact Ezel, her very best friend and one of the most important members of the resistance. What’s more, she was breathing!

“Huh…?”

What had just happened?

“It’s a good thing we’re underground. Up top, my shovel can’t do anything about the dead.”

Alan had used more or less the same technique on the village elder in the desert nation. Alan was incapable of manipulating life and death, but he was capable of uncovering the “past” of the underground. The Kingdom of Darkness existed underground; therefore, its entire history was scoopable. Alan explained this as he continued to scoop up magma.

Soon, all the key members of the resistance were present and accounted for in their original forms.

Odessa, on the other hand, could barely move an inch.

Meanwhile, Ezel sat up, rubbing her bleary eyes. “Where…am I?”

“I can’t believe it…Ezel?!”

She’s alive! She’s okay! I don’t understand what’s going on, but who cares! She’s alive! Odessa was so moved she was on the verge of embracing her best friend.

Before she could do so, Ezel opened her mouth to speak. “Er, Odessa…? Wh-whoa! What are you wearing?!”

“Huh? Ah…EEEK!!!”

Not only was the cloth of Odessa’s white bikini dreadfully thin, it was digging into her breasts and hips. In a panic, Odessa tried to cover herself up as Alan’s scooping continued in the background. Rather, it came to a stop. He had by now saved everyone from the magma.

“What the heck…?!”

Odessa’s eyes were spinning. All of a sudden, the dead had come back to life with no visible harm to suggest they hadn’t always been the way they now were. No humans on the planet wouldn’t have been shell-shocked.

“All done. Odessa, you said you needed weapons, too, right?”

“Sir Alan, you’re incredible! Amazing!” said Kuronono.

“W-wait just a minute! Hold on! I’m…I’m extremely confused!”

But Alan did not wait, and he did not hold on. “Shovels of the deep ground, assemble!”

Upon Alan’s order, the shovels lying about the dining hall—had they always been there?—came together as if magnetized. Simultaneously, words were being carved into the handles of the shovels at hyper-speed, the same two words, over and over: “Demon Shoveler.”

At last, the silver shovels shone beautifully in the light. Alan thrust one of those shovels into the wall as he yelled out, “DIG!”

At his command, the shovel burrowed through the wall, revealing a lurking demon spy. The second the tip of the shovel made contact with its target, the demon evaporated in a flash of white.

“They’re mass-produced models, but they should work well enough. Odessa, how does a hundred thousand of these things sound? Would that be enough?”

“Wait. Seriously, please, just wait a—WHOOOAAA?!”

Odessa had to believe she was dreaming. Shovels were resurrecting people left and right, and now they were killing demons. How could something this convenient just pop up out of nowhere?

But the reality of the situation was that this man, Alan, was creating new weapon after new weapon before her very eyes. The dining hall was filling up with shovels.

“Okay, so when you want to use a shovel, you have to focus and think, ‘I’m gonna dig!’ as powerfully as you can…” Kuronono explained as she doled out Demon Shovelers to the resurrected resistance.

“This is…crazy,” mumbled Odessa.

Madness. This was impossible. How could this be happening?

“How could something straight out of a fairy tale possibly occur…?”

Alerted by the clamor of people and shovels, demons charged into the room, only to be eradicated by Alan after he shouted “DIG!” and fired off a beam of light.

The resistance members gazed as one upon this man and all of a sudden began to chant.

“ALAN! ALAN! ALAN!”

It was as if they were offering prayer to a deity who had just descended to the underground.

“Ah…” Odessa’s mouth worked silently.

Alan decimated demons in an instant. Maybe he really was a deity? Perhaps this shovel man was the god who would repel the despair settling upon the Kingdom of Darkness.

No, this is impossible. But, but! I want to believe!

“All right,” said Alan. “Last but not least, you needed the morale to stand against the demons, right?”

“Sir Alan! In that case, you can leave it to me! Lady Lithisia taught me everything I need to know!” declared Kuronono.

“She did…?” asked Alan. I have a bad feeling about this.

But Kuronono’s eyes were twinkling, and as her teacher, he wasn’t about to tear her down when she was motivated.

“All right, yeah. Give it a shot. I’ll help however you need me to.”

“Thank you!”

And so within moments a shage was erected in the dining hall. That’s right, a shage, a stage made using shovels. It took only a handful of seconds to build thanks to Alan’s Shovel Construction skills. It was about ten feet tall with sheekers (a variant of speakers; releases sound through the dirt) and a large scooplight up above.

Alan dug up and collected spectators from all across the underground. He was able to gather three thousand people with no great deal of trouble.

“Thank you all so much for gathering here today!”

In the center of the shage was Kuronono, still clad in her pink micro bikini, her cheeks bright red from exhilaration and nervousness. Despite her appearance, she did her best to smile as she brought her shovel close to her mouth. “Let’s get this underground Shovelive started!”

The crowd Alan gathered raised their voices.

“What is that?”

“A concert?!”

“Is Kuronono gonna sing?”

“Holy bajeebus, she’s dressed so weird!”

“Weird but cute!”

“I LOVE YOU, KURONONO!”

The passion in the crowd was infectious.

“KURONONO! SHONONO! SHOVEL! SHOVEL!”

Behind the princess was a man with a shovtar and a man with shovdrums. Kuronono hugged her shovel to herself, knees shaking as she struggled to find the courage to carry out Lithisia’s plan.

Lithisia’s idea was to hold a “Shovelive.” Yes, a “a Shovel Live Performance.” Kuronono would raise the troops’ morale by dancing and singing in a micro bikini. However, she was soon overwhelmed by the intensity of the entire scenario and was now just kind of wriggling around with the shovel. All the movement caused the strings of her bikini to loosen, which made her panic and cover up.

The crowd cheered even more. The concert was a resounding success.

“U-um, please don’t shake the shage too much, or it’ll come off!”

“WE LOVE YOU! KURONONO IS LOVE. LOOOOVE!”

“Eeeeek!”

The shage shook even more violently as the crowd stomped their feet with glee.

Meanwhile, Alan and Odessa watched this all take place from backstage.

“I have questions about the method, but…group morale has most certainly gone up, Odessa.”

The aforementioned Odessa was on the verge of blacking out. She had a hard time reconciling that she was actually experiencing any of this. The last ten minutes had caused her brain to go into overload; it felt like the insides of her skull had been run through a blender.

Amidst the white void that was her mind, she remembered her own words from not too long ago.

“How could something straight out of a fairy tale possibly occur…?”

Kuronono was wearing a bikini, clinging to a shovel, and dancing before Odessa’s very eyes. Each time her bikini threatened to come loose, the crowd erupted into cheers.

As Odessa listened to those excited voices, she realized something important. What was happening in front of her was all too real. And it was no fairy tale.

“E-everyone! Do you really love me that much?!”

“LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!”

Indeed, it was no fairy tale. In fact, it was something much darker. Much worse.