Academy Inspection

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not RWBY, not the characters, or any concepts and abilities written here. Please support the official release.

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Atlas Academy - Headmaster's Office

James Ironwood is in his office doing paperwork. "Another complain about Team FNKI? Into the box it goes." He takes the complaint and puts it in a cardboard box labeled "FNKI stuff" under his desk before kicking it back in. 

Team FNKI is known for their colorful and overall chaotic. Neon Katt in particular is infamous for her pranks and unpredictable fighting style, making her a nightmare on opponents who don't know her. He's gotten so many complains about them that at this point he just shoves them into a box and hopes people forget about it.

It's not because he finds their antics hilarious. Perish the thought!

Just then, his computer goes off and answers the call. "General Ironwood here."

"General. There is someone in the lobby who wants to see you." Winter states.

"Who?"

"It's best if you see for yourself, sir." Winter ends the call.

"Haa..." With a heavy sigh, James gets up from his desk and heads to the elevator. "It's times like this I wish I never took this stupid job."

Later

James arrives in the lobby and finds Winter waiting for him. "Well, specialist?"

"Um..." An throaty groan catches his attention and James looks left and right. He then looks down to see a small old man wearing a suit and holding a clipboard.

"Hello." The old man waves. "I'm with the kingdom and I'm here for a random inspection."

"Um..." James just looks confused. "For what?"

"It's a standard random inspection. Just to make sure the building's all up to code." The inspector takes out a comically long pencil from his ass. "It will only take a moment."

"Cool, cool." James nods. "Could you give us a second?" He grabs Winter and pulls her to the other side of a nearby wall. "Winter. We are so fucked!" 

"Why?" Winter asks.

"This academy was originally a insane asylum that Ozpin remodeled to house the Relic and used cheap laborers from Menagerie to do it. This academy is a FUCKING MESS! It violates every law known to man!" James reveals. "You really thought it was legal to merge the military with a Huntsmen academy?"

"I don't know."

"Do you realize? Do you realize something?" James asks. "If we fail this inspection we could lose the academy and we'd have to move to another kingdom?"

"Um, maybe?" An unsure Winter said.

"Don't worry, Specialist. You're favorite general has a little trick up his sleeve." James pulls his sleeve a bit to gesture this.

The two walk back into the lobby and gesture the inspector inside. "C'mon in!"

Cafeteria

The inspector walks up to the walls. "I'll just check the walls, to make sure they're..." He writes on the clipboard. "The proper..." He writes again. "... you know, wall material. Yes." He taps the walls with his pencil, until a large junk of the wall breaks to reveal something shocking.

"SALUTATIONS!" All of the robots cried out at once.

"I don't know what that is." James said.

Bathroom

The inspector taps on one of the faucets and it releases blood.

"Oh that! That's um..." James tries to think of something. ".... tomato juice for the Bat Faunus."

"Hmm..." The inspector writes on the clipboard while Winter gives him a look of disapproval.

Basement

The trio enter the basement of the academy.

"Hm, interesting." The inspector walks around the vault.

As the inspector walks around James leans to Winter. "Alright, time to execute my trick."

James walks in to kill the inspector but Winter stops him. "General, what are you doing!?"

"I'm saving our kingdom Winter!" James hissed and the two start to fight.

"OH MY GOD!" The two stop and turn to the inspector. They find him staring at a beautiful ornate golden staff.

"What's this?" He asks.

"Oh that? That's the magic staff that holds the entire kingdom afloat." James reveals much to the shock of Winter.

"SIR!?"

"Hahaha, very funny." The inspector chuckles.

"No, I'm being serious." James said just as the inspector knocks the staff off its pedestal and the entire room starts to shake.

James:

Atlas falls on Mantle, resulting in a devastating explosion.

https://youtu.be/IWhilGbn9Zs

"So yes, that's what happened. Can we stay in Vale for a while?" A disheveled James asks with his most charming smile as does Winter.

Ozpin and Glynda:

"Fucking dammit, James." Glynda hissed out as the general lets out a nervous chuckle.

"So... is that a yes?" James asked.

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Author Notes

Another chapter, and out so soon too. I got Christmas chapter coming up as well so stay tuned.

Peace~