Ch 36

Chapter 36: Father and Daughter, King and Princess

I cut to the chase and Euphie talks about her thoughts and wishes. That I shouldn't be queen and the advantages of her being crowned. She also mentions what she thinks will happen should I become queen.

Father held a difficult look on his face the whole time Euphie talked. Mother was taken aback, but she tightened her expression as she tried to listen. Knight Commander Sprout maintained his silence whilst showing his bewilderment, and Minister Grantz was expressionless as ever. (1)

"...I see." (Orphans)

After Euphie finished, there was a short pause, before Father sighed deeply, leaning his body against his chair. He looked at the ceiling for a bit and closed his eyes.

How often does he do that? The silence felt long. Father didn't say anything, keeping his eyes closed and lying still.

"...Grantz." (Orphans)

"Yes, Your Majesty?" (Grantz)

"I'm not happy about this." (Orphans)

He rose to his feet and turned towards Minister Grantz, who stood right behind him. His face was unreadable because his back was to us.

"Your Majesty... we, the Magentas, are always ready to give ourselves to the Kingdom." (Grantz)

"I know... Forgive me, Grantz. I always forget your devotion." (Orphans)

"Don't say stupid things. It's merely the result of your reign. Even if it wasn't a pleasure, it would be impossible to think it isn't worth it." (Grantz)

"The young don't realize when they've become old." (Orphans)

Father looked back at Minister Grantz, replying helplessly. Resignation and exhaustion were evident on his face.

"...Euphyllia, I have received your thoughts." (Orphans)

"Your majesty..." (Euphie)

"But you know what? It's still too early to see. The spirit contract, indeed, was a great feat done by the first king. The greatness of the spirit contract could certainly give you legitimacy to the throne, but there's no reason why it has to be you." (Orphans)

Father shifted his gaze towards me. I met it head on.

"...Anis." (Orphans)

"Yes." (Anis)

"Do you hate me? I, the one who gave birth to you but failed to give you magic?" (Orphans)

"No, I have nothing against you." (Anis)

"Then do you resent me for keeping... you away from the spirit contract, even though I saw that possibility?" (Orphans)

That forced me to stop speaking. My father kept me away from the spirit contract. It's not like I don't understand what he meant by that.

"It doesn't have to be Euphyllia. It would be the same if you were the one who made a spirit contract. Then everyone would have to recognize you." (Orphans)

"...Father, my research has shown me that a spirit contract is likely impossible for me." (Anis)

"That's not like you! Have you definitively confirmed it?" (Orphans)

"...No." (Anis)

I haven't actually tried it. I don't have any real examples. I just assume that it's impossible at this point in time, and I don't have enough verification to see if it's really impossible or not.

I can't say that I wasn't interested. However, it's true that I never tried because of my father's strong opposition.

I found my own reason to give up. Therefore, I never looked at any means that might allow me to use magic the normal way.

"I wanted to keep you away from the throne." (Orphans)

"...Father." (Anis)

"Originally, Algard was set to be king when he was born. I feared that your intelligence would lead to chaos in the kingdom. It would've been easy for you to take the throne if you tied yourself to a powerful noble and set your claim. I honestly thought about leaving the country before that. I was... afraid of you, Anisphia. So, even if there was a chance for it, I didn't want you to be able to use magic. That's what I thought." (Orphans)

...Involuntarily, my breath shuddered.

I was surprised too, realizing that I had unconsciously clenched my fists.

"I still loved you as my daughter because you were wise. You kept yourself away from the throne, didn't gain too much power, and even helped my reign. You brought the voice of the people to me, and not just anyone can do that. You showed me what I needed to do." (Orphans)

"Father..." (Anis)

"Laugh at me, Anisphia. I feared you, yet I used you more than anything else. The name 'Father' is just a decoration. I was only a king. You devoted yourself to magic and magicology, and I could see the value in it. Therefore, I allowed you to immerse yourself in it." (Orphans)

...Oh, I see. So, as a family member, he felt alienated, but being a 'boss' felt comfortable and convenient. It wasn't always this way. It's as I always thought it was. Father was just the king. To me, he's always been the king.

"When it became inconvenient, I was willing to take away your freedom in the name of royalty, leaving your heart to die in the process." (Orphans) (2)

"As a king, it was necessary for you to that. Honestly, it hurt, but I commend your judgement. I don't begrudge you for it. I don't want you to think that I'm not ungrateful to you, Father." (Anis)

"...What?" (Orphans)

"Who would be stupid enough to let such a joke of a king take the throne? Don't think of me as a fool." (Anis)

...The room froze over.

Father had a look of "what is this guy talking about?" while Euphie just put her hand to her forehead and sighed. Knight Commander Sprout's face contorted, though he quickly tightened his expression at the prodding of Minister Grantz.

Behind him, Lainie's face also temporarily contorted before correcting. Mother's eyes popped out and her jaw dropped. I was left to cough and try my best to calm the situation.

"It's because you're my father. And when you were king, didn't you treat me like a princess?" (Anis)

"Are you serious?" (Orphans)

"I'm serious! So, Father, you were acting as a father. It's what you were pretending to be. But it's worthwhile to be seen that way. It's worth something. I wasn't acting out just to wait for your criticism! I was indulging you so you could be my father!" (Anis) (3)

That is my true intention. I didn't mean to be so eccentric, nor did I mean to push him around. I was just doing what I had to do. Yes, Father acted as a king towards me; yes, he was afraid of me. Why the hell does it matter?

...To be honest, I'm not convinced on an emotional level. Yet, there's really only thing I have a gripe about.

"If there's anything that I have against you, it's only that you took magic away from me." (Anis)

"But isn't that what you craved the most?" (Orphans)

"You are mistaken. It wasn't really 'magic' that I wanted. What I wanted was to be a wizard." (Anis)

"I don't understand... What's the difference?" (Orphans)

"For me, magic is not an end, but a means. The magic I see is flying in the sky. I wanted to show you the value of this achievement and what might happen if I could fly when no one else has done it before. I've shown you the value of that." (Anis)

"...Is it the improvement in transportation and logistics?" (Orphans)

"Yes. For me, magic is a means to make someone smile. Still, I can't help but resent that magic was taken away from me. But that's why I took the path of magicology, leading here to today. I don't want you to think that you've made me unhappy." (Anis)

That's just it. That's the thing that makes me unhappy.

"You, more than anyone else, have recognized my worth, haven't you Father?" (Anis)

"...Anisphia." (Orphans)

"I never wanted to be king. I didn't want to ruin this country. But still, there were things I could do without becoming king, and I continued to pioneer magicology in the hopes that I could help you and help the people. You and Mother were the first to recognize its value, while the 'wizards' I admired denied it. I didn't question your reasons. I didn't want to know your reasons." (Anis)

I would've been happy if my parents were happy, even if no one else approved of me.

If I didn't even have that, I would've been too miserable. At least, I thought I was accepted.

"Is being pitiful all I'm worth? If so, I'm going to have to punch you." (Anis)

"...If it would make you feel better." (Orphans)

"Are you an idiot? Why did you never talk about it? I've told you that you could talk all you wanted, that I would do as I pleased, that I didn't covet the throne, that you should focus on Allie. I asserted myself. I was also violent for that reason, but you never admonished me, did you? And now you're feeling sorry because you never said anything?" (Anis)

"Mm, mm..." (Orphans)

"That makes me angry! I am so angry! I'm angry that you didn't trust me with anything! I was convinced! Did you want to make me so miserable to the point where the only thoughts I had were of being that understanding daughter who accepted everything without being told?" (Anis)

I'm really miserable! It's true that you're the king, so it must be hard for you to say what you truly think, so I tried to be considerate. Well, maybe it's not right to be angry because I was using you too, but if I told you that, it could mean war, Father!

"Never! By your own guilt! Don't be deceived! We have been communicating without words, or rather miscommunicating? It's a tough call. But we've been in this together, even if it was harsh!" (Anis)

"Enough. Stop talking, you fool. I feel pathetic just listening to you!" (Orphans)

Father grunted as he began rubbing his forehead. Hmph! It's because you said stupid things.

"You did the best you could. There wasn't any means to deal with this situation because it was so unexpected... and the solution just happened to be in our hands. That's all there is to it. Then, father, as king, all you have to do is give the order. If that doesn't clear your conscious, then speak to me as a father." (Anis)

"Not as a... king, but as a father?" (Orphans)

"I don't care either way, but if it bothers you." (Anis)

Father was silent after my words. Then, after letting out a deep sigh, he turned his tired eyes to me.

"Anis, why Euphyllia...? At the very least, if it wasn't Euphyllia, I wouldn't be so worked up about it!" (Orphans)

"...Yes?" (Anis)

"I don't really care if Euphyllia becomes king. That's actually for the best, at least in the sense that I won't make you king. But, in order to do that, I'd have to take Euphyllia away from Grantz! Don't you know how much I bow to him?" (Orphans)

"Why would I know that!? How did the conversation arrive there!?" (Anis)

I don't understand. In what way would the conversation turn to that!?

"Nonsense! I couldn't even raise you, so it pains me to ask you to be king! But think of my anxiety when I have to hang my head before Grantz!" (Orphans)

"I don't know!? What, what is it!? What a misleading way of saying it!" (Anis)

"What's misleading? You've always said that if you were to fall in love, it'd have to be with a girl!" (Orphans)

...I said it. I really did say that!

"No, no, no, no, no." (Anis)

"What?" (Orphans)

"Euphie and I don't have that kind of relationship!" (Anis)

What is your misunderstanding, Father?

"...Euphyllia?" (Anis) (4)

"...Huh. Well, I am prepared to devote my whole life to you. Though, I'm not entirely sure what you mean." (Euphie)

With a somewhat troubled expression, Euphyllia spoke, putting her hand on her cheek. Then Father opened his eyes.

"What the hell? ...You keep doing things to mislead me! You stupid girl!" (Orphans)

"What's there to be angry at me for? ...Or there might be a lot!" (Anis)

If I say something on a regular basis, I really can't blame them for thinking that! Yup!

Then, Mother, who had remained silent until now, asked a quiet question.

"...So, Anis, what's really going on?" (Sylphine)

"Mother?" (Anis)

"Putting aside what your perceptions are, it seems to me that Euphie came to you as a bride." (Sylphine)

......

No, wait. It felt hot, as if my whole face was lit on fire. Immediately, I covered my face and crouched down.

It looks like that; I can see it!? No, can I see it...!?

"And there isn't any precedent for same-sex marriages under the law, but isn't this a de facto marriage, Anis?" (Sylphine)

"No, wait, Mother." (Anis)

"What are you waiting for? It would certainly be logical for you to complete the spirit contract and earn magic if you were to ascend to the throne. However, I believe Euphyllia has the qualities to compensate for that. To be honest, I even think it's okay for you to decide based on your feelings." (Sylphine)

"My feelings?" (Anis)

I can't help but shut my mouth at the question in Mother's gentle voice.

I don't want to be... I'm not going to change my mind about that.

"It is a rather bold move to welcome Euphyllia into the royal family; however, as long as we can guarantee her legitimacy, it is possible to welcome her as an individual. It is a bit painful to take her away from the Duke of Magenta, however, that is why I am asking your feelings on the matter." (Sylphine)

"Why?" (Anis)

"You said you would make Euphyllia happy, did you not?" (Sylphine)

"That's what I said... but..." (Anis)

"Euphyllia said that she's so happy to be next to you that she's willing to give up her family to be with you. Whatever her feelings are, are you prepared to repay them? Anis. You, more than anyone else, understand the weight of kinghood." (Sylphine)

"...That's true, but..." (Anis)

"If your feelings are not for Euphyllia, then I must advise you to find yourself or her a fiancé if she is to join the royal family. Whether you or Euphie becomes king, the problem of the heir has not been solved." (Sylphine) (5)

Euphie and a fiancé? Again? Yes, whether it's Euphie or me, it doesn't solve the problem of the heir.

...That's...

"I hate it." (Anis)

"...Miss Anis." (Sylphine)

"Euphie has suffered a lot. I decided to protect her from such a burden and anything else that could hurt her. Should she choose someone, if they are a good person, then fine. However, if they are not, I won't allow it. That is atonement the royal family owes to Euphie; even if there is no such atonement, I don't want Euphie to feel that way." (Anis)

"Then, there's no problem." (Sylphine)

She says such things so easily. It gives me a bad feeling.

"If you set a precedent with Euphie joining the royal family, you could just adopt a prospective child. They will require a spirit contract, but that is a matter for you to figure out. If you fail to figure that out, you will be assigned a partner to produce an heir." (Sylphine)

"...Mother." (Anis)

"Or, if you would let me retire early... I will try my best. It would be nice to have a younger son." (Sylphine)

"Huh?" (Anis)

"What are you talking about, Sylphine?" (Orphans)

My father's incredulous voice and mine overlapped. Does that mean Mother is going to have a baby now? No, no, no, because you are getting very old, and we don't even know if you would be able to conceive. Even if you do have one, safely giving birth is another problem!

"Orphans, you must be hungry. It is true that I'm old, but we have Anisphia. It might be a good idea to let her find a way to help me endure childbirth." (Sylphine)

"No, but..." (Orphans)

"What are you doing, putting all the burden on the child? In the first place, parents must fulfill their responsibilities as parents. We've mishandled the education of our children. If the parents don't take responsibility, who will?" (Sylphine)

Mother looked to me while Father shrank from the criticism. No, if I was asked to look for a way, I would definitely look for it, but...!

"If I can have another child, it would be possible for Anis or Euphie to become king. It is time to prepare the means, Orphans. Or did you want to set up your own concubines now?" (Sylphine)

"I have no intention of doing so." (Orphans)

Father soured at Mother's words. Well, Father loves Mother. If he doesn't wish to take a concubine now, I understand how he feels...

"It wouldn't be too late to make Euphyllia king even after we play our hands. It's not like I want to take a child from their parents. Grantz." (Sylphine)

"If so, then please do your duty. I too have just realized that my eyes, clouded by the loveliness of my own child, have not yet been cleared." (Sylphine)

"Whatever you wish, your majesty." (Grantz)

"Matthew, you too! I'll have the Kingsguard be working for me from now on. Don't tell me that your work at the castle has spoiled you."

"Ha!" (Sprout)

Matthew, as he was called, Knight Commander Sprout, straightened his back.

At once, the air of the place as taken by Mother. I was puzzled, and then Mother got up from her seat and walked towards me.

"Parents leave before their children. I was thinking of you, who would be left behind... but, it still seems I have a lot left to leave behind. I don't think I'll be able to retire comfortably." (Sylphine)

"...Mother." (Anis)

"How children are raised, parents are responsible for that... but Anisphia. You have a responsibility too. It is a responsibility you must fulfill before you can be royalty. And it's the first thing I should have done for you as a parent." (Sylphine)

"What is it...?" (Anis)

"Be happy. That's what I'm trying to teach you. It is our escapable destiny to be fettered and bound as royalty and symbols. We admonished you, but we never really taught you, as we thought you'd be naturally capable. We do not live to be bound, but to hold happiness in our hands while we are bound." (Sylphine)

Mother's hands cupped my cheeks. She smiled a faint smile that seemed to reflect her regret.

I'm sure that's what she wanted to tell not only me... but also Allie.

"We were loved by you. I didn't really know you cared that much. I thought you were just being yourself. You may have been wild, but you were never a handful. No, you were a child in need of attention." (Sylphine)

"That's not what..." (Anis)

It's because I've been an unchildlike child from the moment I received my memories from my previous life.

I may have been an overachieving child. I was acting like that because I couldn't do magic, thinking I have to give up the throne to Allie. I didn't want to be tied down.

"You were not a child to be tied down. You just looked free and showed it in the way you were allowed." (Sylphine)

"No, I was just being honest..." (Anis)

"Then our eyes must have been blinded by our inability to recognize that kindness in caring for others. I'm sure you've been doing that for the people, for us, for Algard, for a long time. But to tie you down any longer, to tell you that you have not done so, is too cruel a punishment." (Sylphine)

You didn't have to feel that way. I had enough freedom to do what I wanted, and I didn't think I was unhappy. I had felt cramped at times, but that's normal for royalty.

But, I don't have the words to argue with her. I don't know if I'm not confident that I can communicate it well, or if I really just wanted to say so and have it acknowledged. Can I say... that I am king? I don't think so normally. It was just me being normal.

"So, you need to look at Euphyllia a little more closely. You seem to be insensitive to other people's feelings as well as your own, why don't you?" (Sylphine)

Mother whispered these words in my ear, and the heat in my cheeks, which had almost cooled down again, surged.

I'm going to face Euphie. What do I mean by that? I fainted involuntarily as I was made to think about that meaning once again.

/////

E/N:

1: Previously I referred to Grantz Magenta as a Duke since that's what the mtl kept giving me, but he's a Prime Minister. Oops. I'll be going back and fixing that as I reedit the chapters.

2: I changed it from something similar to "left you for dead" or "abandoned you" to "left your heart to die".

3: This was somewhat confusing. It was "I was not behaving in order to wait for His Majesty's tsukkomi!". It could be read as: she was behaving not because she was waiting for kingly criticism, or she was misbehaving not because she was waiting for kingly criticism. Since it's about criticism, I interpreted it the second way. The second sentence was "I was indulging him because he was my father!" which doesn't make much sense in the context of misbehavior, but I took it as Anis allowing Orphans to play the guiding role of a father.

4: Probably Anis. Could be Orphans, but probably not.

5: It was unclear whether the fiancé was for Anis or Euphie, but it made sense to just include both considering the nature of the matter