REMOTE ISLAND SYNDROME

I was so dumbfounded I forgot about the pain in my shoulder.

At the moment, I was lying on my belly, unable to stand as I couldn’t help being astonished by the sight before my eyes. I was unable to move because of an excess amount of weight on my back that refused to budge. But that wasn’t my concern at the moment. Koizumi, draped over me in the aftermath of breaking down the door, was also stunned by the scene in the room before us. Get off me already—but my mind wasn’t clear enough to channel that thought. That’s how shocked I was.

That which could never possibly happen had happened. It had actually happened. This could no longer be laughed off as a joke. What are we supposed to do?

There was a flash outside the window. A few seconds later, the rumbling of thunder reached my stomach. Just like yesterday, a full-blown storm was covering the entire island.

“It can’t be,” someone murmured.

It was Arakawa, who had been slamming against the door with Koizumi and me and fallen to the floor when it opened.

Koizumi finally got off me so I rolled over and sat up.

And then I took another look at the unbelievable sight before my eyes.

On the carpet near the door lay a man sprawled on the floor the way I was a moment ago. A resident of this manor who hadn’t come down to the dining room this morning and also happened to be our host, a man in his prime. I could immediately identify him because he’d been wearing the same clothes when he’d left us in the living room last night and headed upstairs. He was the only one wearing a formal suit in this hot weather on an island when there was no need for it. He was also the employer of Arakawa, who had been murmuring a moment ago, and the owner of this island and manor…

Mr. Keiichi Tamaru.

Keiichi was lying on the floor with a look of astonishment on his face. He wasn’t moving a single muscle. Of course he wasn’t. Since it appeared that he was already dead.

How did I know? It was obvious. The item protruding from his chest looked familiar. It was the handle of the fruit knife that had been included with the bountiful fruit basket we had been served during dinner.

I’m willing to bet that you’d find a metal blade on the other side of that handle. Or else, it wouldn’t be sticking out of the chest of an unmoving human who had his eyes and mouth wide open. Which meant that the knife was stuck in Keiichi’s chest.

I’m pretty sure that most people would die if they had a knife through their heart.

And that would describe Keiichi’s current state.

“Eek…”

I heard a soft shriek of terror from the other side of the busted door. I turned around. Asahina stood with her hands over her mouth. She staggered backward but Nagato was there to support her from behind. Nagato turned to me with her permanently blank face and lifted her head as if deep in thought.

Naturally, she could always be found where we were.

“Kyon, could it be that… this person is…”

Haruhi also looked surprised. Her head was sticking into the room next to Asahina as she stared at Keiichi in eternal repose with catlike eyes in the darkness.

“Dead?”

Her voice was unusually soft and even slightly nervous, which was very peculiar. I turned around to try to say something. Koizumi’s usual smile was nowhere to be found as he had a somber expression on his face. The maid, Mori, was also standing out in the hallway.

Only one person who’d been in the manor yesterday was missing from this scene.

Keiichi’s younger brother, Yutaka Tamaru, wasn’t here.

We broke into the room to find one silenced owner of the manor and one person who happened to be suspiciously absent. What might that mean?

“Hey, Kyon…”

Haruhi spoke again. It almost looked as though she were going to cling to me any second. She had an unfamiliar look of anxiety on her face.

Another flash of lightning lit up the room. The storm had peaked yesterday. The sound of thunder accompanied the crashing of waves in an array of goose bump–inducing sounds.

This was a remote island. And there was a storm. And the master of the manor was lying before us in what had been a sealed room, with a knife in his chest.

I couldn’t help wondering.

Hey, Haruhi.

Were you the one who made this happen?

I flashbacked to the reason the SOS Brigade members ended up in this place.

Back one day before summer vacation had started…

………

……

…

It was mid-July in the dead of summer. The weather was so intensely hot that I wanted to give the sun a paid vacation.

As always, I was in the literary club room, which served as our hideout, drinking Asahina’s trademark hot tea. I was attempting to recover from the term exam results we had just received, but when I thought about how I’d have to take supplementary classes, I couldn’t really relax. This is when people start wanting to escape reality.

I spontaneously came up with a number of potential reasons for why reality was just a big lie and began mulling over which one to use.

“Um, is something the matter?”

I snapped myself out of the fake story where a bunch of evil aliens from the dark side of the moon would land and destroy the Diet building on the day before makeup exams.

“You have a strained look on your face… Does the tea taste bad?”

“Of course not.”

It was as sweet as always. Though it was made using cheap tea leaves.

“That’s a relief.”

Asahina breathed a soft sigh as she stood in her summer maid outfit. I responded to her relieved smile with a smile of my own. Your happiness is my happiness. You could send Xu Fu from China to the mountain gods of Mount Penglai in a quest for a miracle cure and not find a panacea stronger than Asahina’s smile. My heart currently felt clearer than the surface of Lake Mashu, and I swear that I could almost envision messengers from heaven blowing on their horns…

And I was in the middle of delivering an impassioned speech like Saint Francis of Assisi preaching to the birds but I stopped. Not because I got sick of chaining modifiers, but because someone showed up to interfere with his needlessly melodic voice.

“Hello, everyone. How did you do on your finals?”

Koizumi rolled the dice on the Monopoly board on the table as he asked the question he really didn’t need to ask. Thanks to him, my mind was warping to the dark side of the moon again and was in satellite orbit before I could calm myself down. Why don’t you just play Monopoly by yourself over there? Learn a thing or two from Nagato, who’s sitting in the corner of the room and quietly reading a book.

Nagato had what looked to be a hardcover encyclopedia open as she sat in a metal folding chair in her summer sailor uniform with a face like a glass mask that didn’t seem to breathe and her eyes focused on the pages. I wonder if there’s a reason she enjoys acquiring data through analog methods when she’s more of a digital entity.

“…”

In any case, everybody had too much free time.

Today was a short day and school had officially been out before noon, so why were we all gathered in this place? That question was also directed at myself, but I had a legitimate reason. I have to drink one cup of Asahina’s tea every day or I’ll become a living corpse. Which is why I suffer from withdrawal on Saturdays and Sundays.

That was just a joke. That should go without saying, but I’ve learned since entering high school that some people have to be told that something’s a joke. In fact, that’s the only thing I’ve learned over the past few months so it has to be right. You should draw a clear line between jest and earnestness. Or else you’ll run the risk of suffering an unpleasant experience.

The way I am now.

I opened my bag and took out the ham sandwich I’d redeemed from the school vendor to eat with my tea.

It was the time of year when everybody was counting down the days to summer vacation, so there was a reason all of us were lounging around in the club room like cats—or not. I’m fairly confident that there wasn’t. After all, the SOS Brigade started up for no real reason, so there had never been an explanation for our presence here in the first place. I suppose that the lack of a reason would be the closest thing to a reason for any of this. Considering how stupid everything we do is, I’ll have less of a headache if there isn’t any meaning either. Since I won’t have to do any thinking.

“I’ll also take this chance to eat lunch.”

After happily pouring herself some tea, Asahina took out an adorable-looking lunch box and sat down at the table across from me.

“Don’t mind me. I ate in the cafeteria before coming here.”

Koizumi spoke in a cheerful voice in response to a question nobody had asked. Nagato appeared to be more interested in reading than eating.

Asahina poked at her white rice with a smiley face drawn on it using the seasoning furikake.

“Where’s Suzumiya? She’s awfully late.”

Why are you asking me? Maybe she’s off somewhere trying to catch grasshoppers. Since it’s summer.

Koizumi responded in my stead.

“I saw her in the cafeteria earlier. She had an admirable appetite. I can’t even imagine how many ergs you would have if you were to convert the nutritional value of everything she ate.”

And I don’t feel like running the numbers. Hell, she can stay in the cafeteria until dinner if she wants.

“That won’t happen. She seems to have an important announcement to make today.”

I have no idea how you can look so cheerful. Her big announcements have never produced anything of value. Do you have less memory capacity than a five-and-a-quarter-inch floppy disk?

“Besides, how do you know about this?”

Koizumi feigned ignorance.

“Indeed, I wonder why. I could answer your question, but I believe that Suzumiya would prefer to tell you herself. It would be rather troublesome if I ruined her fun by telling you what she has to say. I’ll keep my mouth shut.”

“I didn’t want to hear it myself.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah. Your tone basically told me that the idiot is up to another idiotic scheme. I don’t know how many more minutes my peace of mind would have lasted, but it’s obvious that the peace has been broken.”

And as I was about to finish my remarks, the door slammed open.

“Okay, everybody’s here, right?!”

Haruhi was standing there with eyes that shined like a spectroscope.

“We have an important meeting today. I’d planned on punishing anyone who showed up after I did by assigning them to be permanently It in a game of Kick the Can. It appears that you’re all developing a sense of pride in being brigade members. That’s a very good thing!”

I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that I hadn’t heard a thing about a meeting today.

“You sure took your time.”

That was meant to be sarcastic.

“Okay? The trick to eating your fill at the cafeteria is to go right before they close. Then the cafeteria ladies will give you extra leftovers. But the timing is key. If you wait too long, everything could be sold out by the time you get there. Today was a lucky day.”

“I see.”

That was all I had to say in response to the worthless information presented with a boasting face, since I rarely ate in the cafeteria.

Haruhi sat down on the brigade chief’s desk.

“Well, that doesn’t really matter.”

“You’re the one who brought it up.”

But Haruhi just ignored me and turned to Asahina, who was using her chopsticks in a proper manner.

“Mikuru, what do you think of when summer is mentioned?”

“Huh?”

Asahina covered her mouth as she chewed and swallowed the food that she’d made herself, apparently.

“Summer? Um, the Feast of Lanterns… I guess?”

A rather old-fashioned response, which made Haruhi blink a few times. “Feast of Lanterns? What’s that? Sure you didn’t mix that up with Halloween or something? That’s not what I meant. There should be a word that instantly pops into your head the second you hear ‘summer.’ ”

What’s that?

Haruhi said in a matter-of-fact tone, “Summer vacation. Summer vacation. Shouldn’t that be obvious?”

That’s too obvious.

“And then, what does summer vacation make you think of?”

Haruhi rattled off the second question and looked at her watch as she made ticking sounds.

Asahina was drawn into Haruhi’s flow as she frantically tried to come up with an answer.

“Um, well, th-the beach.”

“Yep, yep. You’re getting warmer now. And what does the beach make you think of?”

What is this? Some kind of word association game?

Asahina tilted the hairband on her head.

“Beach, beach, um… Ah, seafood?”

“Totally wrong. You’re getting away from the subject of summer. What I’m trying to say is that you have to go on an overnight trip during summer vacation!”

I glared at Koizumi’s increasingly irritating smile. This was the big announcement you were talking about?

“An overnight trip?”

I voiced my question and Haruhi nodded her head up and down.

“Yep, an overnight trip.”

It makes sense for people in clubs to do an overnight trip or something during the summer, but what would be the purpose of our overnight trip? She couldn’t be trying to get us to go into the mountains and capture some cryptid that’s nowhere to be found.

I looked at Asahina, Koizumi, and Nagato, whose faces were surprised, smiling, and blank.

“An overnight trip, huh… For what purpose?”

“For the SOS Brigade,” Haruhi replied.

“I mean, what are we going to do?”

“We’re going on an overnight trip.”

Hah? We’re going on an overnight trip for the sake of going on an overnight trip. Isn’t that like saying that a headache hurts, a tragedy is sad, or grilled fish is grilled?

“Who cares. In this case, the means and the ends are the same. Besides, isn’t a headache supposed to hurt? It’d be weird if a headache felt good. So that statement’s right.”

Her mangling of the language made me wonder what dialect she was even using at this point, but in any case, the real problem here was the overnight trip thing.

“Where do you intend on going?”

“I intend on going to a remote island. In the middle of the ocean. One that requires a superlative adjective tacked on.”

Well, I don’t remember hearing anything about Two Years’ Vacation being on the assigned reading list for summer vacation, so I wonder what she’d read to put that into her mind.

“I did a fair amount of thinking about potential destinations.”

Haruhi was all smiles.

“I was fretting over whether to go to the mountains or the beach. At first, I thought that it’d be more convenient to go to the mountains, but you can only get trapped by a blizzard in a mountain retreat during winter.”

You could just go to Greenland or something… I mean, I have to wonder why that’s necessary.

“You want to go to a mountain retreat to be trapped in there?”

“That’s right. Or else it wouldn’t be any fun. But forget about the snowy mountains for now. We’ll save that for the winter trip. We’re going to the beach this summer! No, we’re going to a remote island!”

I was thinking that she was awfully fixated on the remote island thing, but I didn’t really feel like dissenting. Not that dissenting would have accomplished anything anyway. Besides, the beach is quite an attractive location this time of year. “So does this remote island in the middle of the ocean have a beach?”

“Of course! Isn’t that right, Koizumi?”

“Yes, I believe so. Though it would be a completely natural beach without any lifeguards or carts selling roasted corn on the cob.”

As Koizumi nodded, I shot him a questioning look. Why are you answering for her?

“That’s because—” Koizumi said before he was interrupted by Haruhi.

“Koizumi is providing us with a place to stay during this trip!”

Haruhi had her hand stuck inside the desk as she scrounged around before pulling out what appeared to be an unmarked armband. She then wrote the words “Deputy Brigade Chief” on it in permanent marker.

“For this achievement, be happy, Koizumi, I’m promoting you two ranks and naming you the SOS Brigade deputy brigade chief!”

“It is an honor.”

Koizumi respectfully accepted the armband before turning to me and winking. Just to be clear, I’m not jealous of you or anything. Why would anyone want a novelty item like that?

“And so, we’ll be on an extravagant four-day three-night tour! Get psyched up and ready!”

Haruhi had a look on her face that suggested this discussion was over and we understood what was going on. Of course, we didn’t.

“No, hold on a second.”

I stepped up to speak on behalf of Asahina and Nagato.

“Where is this island you speak of? We’ve been invited? What’s that? Why is Koizumi inviting us to this place?”

Koizumi, who had been defined by Haruhi as a mysterious transfer student, was obviously a shady character, but the stupid organization out there known as the “Agency” was even fishier. It could be some sort of trap in which our destination turned out to be a research facility where they would dissect Haruhi or Nagato or something.

“One of my distant relatives happens to be quite wealthy,” Koizumi said as he flashed a harmless smile.

“He has enough money to buy a deserted island and build a villa there. In fact, he did just that. The manor was just completed a few days ago, but it’s so far away that none of our acquaintances were inclined to make the trip. As he went down the list of friends and family for guests to invite, my turn eventually came around.”

That’s a suspicious-sounding island. I was reminded of the young adult book Robinson Crusoe that I’d read long ago.

“No, it was just a small deserted island to begin with. Summer vacation is coming up and it would be more fun if the members of the SOS Brigade went on a trip together. The owner of the villa is also looking forward to having us.”

“There you have it!” said Haruhi.

She was smiling that peerless smile which tended to show up when she was making trouble for us.

“It’s a remote island! And a manor! A rare situation. It’s like, who’s supposed to go if we’re not going? This is an ideal stage for the SOS Brigade’s summer camp!”

“Why?” I asked. “What does a manor on a remote island have to do with those searches for the supernatural you love?”

But Haruhi was already in her own little world.

“A remote island in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by water on every side! With a manor! Koizumi, your relative knows what he’s doing! Yep, I have a feeling I’ll hit it off with him.”

Any person that can hit it off with Haruhi is guaranteed to be a deviant with no exceptions, so the master of that manor must be a deviant. If he hits it off with her, at least.

I had no idea if Nagato was even listening to Haruhi’s little speech, but Asahina was in a slight daze and she’d stopped eating her lunch.

“Don’t worry, Mikuru. You’ll get to eat all the fresh seafood you want. Isn’t that right?”

“It’ll be arranged,” said Koizumi.

“There you have it.”

Haruhi took another unmarked armband out of the desk. How many extras do you have?

“We’re off to the remote island! I’m certain that something fun awaits us there. My role has already been decided!”

She was writing on the armband with a permanent marker as she spoke. Her wild handwriting spelled out, as far as I could tell, the words “great detective.”

“Why don’t you tell me what you’re plotting?”

“Nothing at all,” Koizumi said in casual denial.

Once Haruhi had been satisfied by delivering her important announcement, she called it a day and left. Asahina and Nagato also left the club room to head home. Only Koizumi and I remained.

Koizumi ran his hands through his hair.

“I’m telling the truth. Suzumiya would still have planned a trip of some sort if I hadn’t spoken up. Since summer vacation feels short yet long. Would you have preferred hunting for tsuchinoko instead of going to the beach or the mountains?”

“What’s this tsuchinoko thing—no, never mind. Don’t explain what a tsuchinoko is. I can figure it out for myself.”

“Three days ago, I ran into Suzumiya at the bookstore by the station. She was staring intently at a map of Japan. She was also looking through an occult magazine that was doing a special on cryptids.”

A trip to search for cryptids, huh? The thought is enough to send shivers up my spine. We’re talking about Haruhi here. I’m scared that we might actually find something.

“Right? It appears that Suzumiya intends to go catch something. I have a hunch that the Hiba Mountains are at the top of her list of potential destinations. In which case, you could say that sunbathing on the beach would please the greatest number of people possible. And I happened to have an appropriate destination.”

No idea how you happened to conveniently have such a perfect destination ready. Well, if you compare hiking through the mountains under the blazing sun with watching the female brigade members wearing swimsuits on the beach, it’s like comparing hell to a utopia.

“The deciding factor was the fact that this was a privately owned deserted island. She mentioned something about a closed circle.”

Naturally, I had to ask. It’s a good idea to ask questions when you don’t know something.

“What’s a closed circle?”

Koizumi had a smile on his face that was completely free of sarcasm. I could plainly see that if someone felt he was being sarcastic, they were blind.

“This may only serve as a loose explanation.”

Koizumi paused for a moment without losing his smile.

“I suppose that you could say it’s closed space.”

I had no idea how the expression on my face could be considered funny, but Koizumi chuckled.

“That was a joke. ‘Closed circle’ is a mystery term. It refers to a situation where contact with the outside world has been severed.”

Speak in a language I can understand.

“It’s one of the common settings the characters of classic mystery stories find themselves in. Allow me to offer an example. For instance, say that we were to go on a skiing trip in the middle of winter.”

That reminds me that Haruhi said something about snowy mountains.

“So we’ve managed to find lodging on said snowy mountain, but then we run into a record blizzard.”

If you’re going to a place like that, you should check the weather forecast first.

“Well, now we’re in trouble. Storm force winds and snow accumulation prevent us from descending the mountain. And nobody else can make their way to the mountain retreat.”

So deal with it.

“It’s called a closed circle because nothing can be done. And then something happens under these circumstances. The most popular incident would be a murder. This is where the setting is truly allowed to shine. The culprit and other characters are unable to escape the building. At the same time, there won’t be any new characters coming from the outside. It would be especially unreasonable for the police to show up, since it wouldn’t be very interesting to use a forensic investigation to identify the culprit.”

As always, I have no idea what this guy is talking about.

“Oh, excuse me. To summarize, Suzumiya’s desired theme is to become involved in a situation out of a mystery.”

“And that requires an island?”

“Yes, a remote island. She may be envisioning a serial murder case where we’re trapped on the island and nobody can escape. As far as closed circles go, a mountain retreat during a blizzard and a remote island are exceptional settings able to cancel out any potential intervention by authorities.”

“I can’t say I’m too thrilled about how you seem to be enjoying yourself.”

Haruhi’s tendency to run wild wasn’t limited to summertime or anything, but there wasn’t any need for you to cheer her on. And it’s not like I’m sulking because I wasn’t named deputy brigade chief.

“To be honest, I also happen to enjoy such situations.”

I have no intention of criticizing somebody else’s tastes, but let me say one thing. I don’t like this at all.

However, Koizumi paid no heed to my tastes and continued in a tone that sounded like he was reading an essay.

“Let us consider famous detectives. It would be rare for people who live ordinary lives to become involved in bizarre murder cases, correct?”

“Well, yeah.”

“However, the great detectives found in literary work are somehow caught up in one baffling case after the next. Why do you think that is?”

“There wouldn’t be a story otherwise.”

“Exactly. You are absolutely correct. Such incidents are fiction. They only exist in the unrealistic world of storytelling. However, it would be rather blunt to say such metafictional things. After all, Suzumiya fully intends to cast herself into the world of fiction.”

Now that you mention it, that was the reason she made the SOS Brigade, wasn’t it?

“One must travel to the appropriate locations to encounter such unrealistic and mysterious happenings. For that is how the great detectives of literature become involved in cases. You could say that it is necessary to become a relevant party in the case. Cases won’t come flying in by themselves unless there’s a relative that’s a police bigwig or the main character is a police officer or we’re dealing with a running series that’s gone through multiple books.”

I see. I knew that Nagato was a science fiction fan, but I had no idea that you were a mystery lover. And I’m guessing that Haruhi loves both.

“For an amateur to play the role of detective, that person must first be unintentionally dragged into an incident that has occurred in the vicinity and the case must be solved swiftly.”

“There’s no way that something is just going to happen around you so conveniently.”

Koizumi nodded.

“Yes. Reality is unlike the world of fiction. There is a minimal chance of an interesting sealed room murder occurring in our school. In that case, we should go to a place with a higher likelihood of something occurring; at least, that must be what Suzumiya is thinking.”

I was reminded of the phrase “the tail wagging the dog.”

“That would be the location of this trip, the remote island. I do not know the reason, but such a place is generally accepted by society as an appropriate stage for a murder.”

What society are you talking about? That’s one narrow-minded society.

“Putting it another way, you could say that strange happenings occur wherever a great detective goes. Humans labeled as great detectives possess the supernatural ability to attract trouble instead of merely happening upon it. That is the only explanation I can think of. Cases do not lead to the appearance of detectives. Rather, the presence of a detective leads to the birth of a case.”

I gave Koizumi a look as though I had just accidentally stepped on a sea slug.

“Are you sane?”

“I believe that my actions can always be considered within the realm of sanity. Everything I’ve said concerning detectives, closed circles, and the ilk has not been a result of my own deliberation. Rather, I was merely tracing Suzumiya’s pattern of thinking. In other words, the simple way to put it would be that she wants to be a detective. That is the purpose of this trip.”

How is she going to become a great detective? I suppose she could fake a whole case by playing both the culprit and the detective.

“Nevertheless, I believed this to be a better alternative to hunting for tsuchinoko. All I did was mention to Suzumiya that an acquaintance had built a villa on an island and was looking for guests. I personally do not expect any murders to occur, obviously.”

Koizumi’s cheerful smile pisses me off every time I see it. And the way he shrugs too.

“I merely offered Suzumiya an opportunity for a little entertainment. Or else, who knows what she might come up with to deal with her boredom? In which case, preparing a stage beforehand allows for us to prepare a number of safety measures.”

“Us, huh?”

Upon seeing my discouraged look, Koizumi attempted to smooth things over.

“The ‘Agency’ has nothing to do with this affair. Though I filed a report to be safe. I may be an esper, but at my core, I am a high school student. What’s wrong with going on a trip? What you would expect in the life of a high school student. A trip with some close friends would be an exciting occasion, correct?”

Only if the reason Haruhi’s excited is because she’s going on a trip. Maybe if we were going to a normal hot spring or a beach on the mainland, but our destination is a remote island, you know? We’re talking about Haruhi here. She might call in a couple hurricanes…

… Well, I’m pretty sure that she isn’t crazy enough to cause a murder. Or else we’d have a pile of dead bodies in North High by now. Anyway, I had a feeling there was something else important as I lost myself in deep thought.

A four-day three-night trip to the beach in the summer. With beaches of white sand and a blazing sun over our heads. In that case, I’m willing to put up with this wretched heat a little longer. Slave away, Mr. Sun.

Okay, I need to start preparing to drool over the sight of Asahina in a swimsuit.

In a generous gesture, the lodging would be provided free of charge. No expenses for food either. All we had to pay was the price of the ferry trip in both directions.

And so, we were now on the boarding platform in the harbor eagerly awaiting the boarding time for the ferry.

Haruhi must have been in a big rush to go on a trip. The first semester had ended yesterday, which meant that today was the first day of summer vacation. Koizumi and his people told us that we could go whenever we wanted, but the fact that Haruhi wanted to leave the second vacation started says a lot about her impatient personality, I’d say. I’d been planning on spending a few days without having to see Haruhi’s face, but the person known as Haruhi Suzumiya wouldn’t allow that to happen. You could call that the purpose of her existence.

“I haven’t been on a ferry in a long time.”

With a visor on her head at a slanted angle, Haruhi stood at the edge of the wharf and gazed at the lead-colored sea. The sticky sea breeze sent her black hair fluttering as we lined up at the front of the boarding dock.

“This is such a big boat. I wonder how it manages to stay afloat.”

Asahina held a bag with both arms as she admired the body of the boat. She looked lovely in a white summer dress with a straw hat over her head. The laces of the hat were even tied under her chin in a manner you would expect from Asahina. Her childlike eyes were shining as she gazed at the old ferry as though it were an ancient artifact that had been dug out of some ruins. Maybe the boats don’t float on water in her time.

“…”

Nagato stood behind her in a daze as she stared at the name of the corporation written on the side of the boat. Oddly enough, Nagato wasn’t wearing her school uniform. She was wearing a checkered sleeveless affair and holding a yellow-green umbrella, which provided some shade. She had the aura of a sickly girl who’d just been released from the hospital. I wanted to go buy an instant camera and take a picture. I could probably sell it to Taniguchi or something for a good price.

“It appears we’ve been blessed with clear weather. You could say that the conditions are perfect for sailing. Though we’ll be in the second-class cabin,” said Koizumi.

“That’s fair enough.”

We were in a large room without anything that could be considered a partition. The voyage would take a number of hours, but we’d have to live another ten years or so before we could deserve private cabins. After all, we’re just a bunch of high schoolers going on a trip.

The real problem here would be that this couldn’t be considered a club trip. You can’t call a trip for the sake of going on a trip a meaningful activity. Besides, aren’t normal club trips supposed to have an advisor supervising? The SOS Brigade doesn’t even have one. We’re a club that hasn’t been approved by the school so I’d be surprised if we did have one. At North High, you can’t even be considered a student association if you don’t have an advisor, and I have a hunch that even if we managed to find a teacher willing to be the SOS Brigade’s advisor, Haruhi would deem it unnecessary. If she actually thought that we needed one, she would have kidnapped someone by now. The way she did us.

I yawned as Asahina walked over to me. Her wide eyes were even wider than usual.

“How does such a big boat stay afloat?”

How? What reason could there be besides buoyancy? Do they not have science classes in Asahina’s time?

“Ah, I see. Buoyancy. Th-That’s right. I get it. This would be what they mean by being unable to see the forest for the trees.”

I have no idea why she was so excited, but Asahina was nodding to herself with a look on her face like she was about to run out of the bath screaming eureka.

I decided to try asking a question. It couldn’t hurt to ask a question.

“Say, Asahina. Do boats in the future use some kind of ground-breaking method to float?”

“Hmm. Do you think I’m allowed to tell you?” she responded with a question.

I shook my head. I seriously doubt it. I switched to a different line of questioning.

“Are there oceans in the future?”

Asahina tugged slightly at the brim of her hat.

“Yes, there are. There are oceans.”

“That’s good to hear.”

I don’t know if she’s from the near future or the distant future, but I’m glad that Earth hasn’t turned into a complete desert. Though I have to hope that the composition of seawater has improved by then.

And right when I was getting enthusiastic about prying some beneficial information out of the time traveler…

“Kyon! Mikuru! What are you doing? It’s time!” Haruhi yelled to let us know that it was time to board the ship.

By the way, I had showed up after the meeting time today. When I left the house this morning, I’d picked up my duffel bag to find it oddly heavy. Suspicious, I opened it up to find that my clothes and toiletries had been replaced by my little sister. Last night, I’d accidentally let it slip that I’d be going on a trip with Haruhi and the others, which led to my sister screaming that she wanted to go too. It’d taken two whole hours to get her calmed down, but I guess she’d come up with a plan to smuggle herself along. I dumped my sister out of the bag and asked her where she’d hidden my stuff. Once she took the fifth, I wasted a good deal of time trying to coax and force the information out of her. I’m not going to buy you any souvenirs. Since that money’s being used to buy the SOS Brigade box lunches on the ferry.

The members of the SOS Brigade were gathered in a corner of the second-class drawing room as we chatted while eating the box lunches I’d been forced to buy. Though Haruhi and Koizumi did most of the talking.

“How much longer until we get there?”

“The trip by ferry takes approximately six hours. I have arranged for an acquaintance to be waiting at our port of arrival. From there, we’ll be taking a private cruiser for approximately thirty minutes. The remote island and towering manor await us at the voyage’s end. I’ve never been there before so I can’t tell you how the location is.”

“I’m sure it’s a strange-looking building. Do you know the name of the person who designed it?” Haruhi asked as she practically jumped up and down with excitement.

“I didn’t inquire about that. I believe a somewhat famous architect was commissioned for the job.”

“I can’t wait to see it.”

“I hope it meets your expectations, but I didn’t see the place beforehand so I wouldn’t know. However, it was built by a person who wanted to erect a private villa on a deserted island, so I would assume that it’s special in some way. At least, I hope so.”

Koizumi might hope so, but I sure don’t. Let us picture a design that would satisfy Haruhi’s expectations. It would probably look like something designed by an inebriated Gaudi who had just pulled three straight all-nighters. I sure don’t want to stay in such a freaky-looking mansion. I’d prefer to stay in an ordinary inn. A traditional Japanese-styled one that serves roasted seaweed and raw eggs for breakfast. And if it was a special house, could Haruhi kill someone and make a case happen?

“Island! Manor! You couldn’t find a better location for the SOS Brigade’s summer camp. This is the perfect way to start off our summer vacation.”

As Haruhi celebrated, the rest of the brigade members stood around her in silence.

As there was nothing to do besides be rocked by the waves, we went with Koizumi’s idea of playing Old Maid. Koizumi, the loser, was forced to buy juice for the rest of us, which we drank in silence.

I couldn’t help feeling uneasy about our destination being a remote island with a manor and all the other obscure details. It appeared that Asahina shared the sentiment.

Haruhi finished her juice in two gulps.

“Mikuru, you look pale. Are you seasick?”

“No… Um… Ah, that may be it,” Asahina responded before Haruhi spoke again.

“That’s no good. You should go outside. You’ll feel much better once you’re out on the deck and breathing in the sea air. Come on, let’s go.”

And with that, she took Asahina’s hand and grinned.

“There’s no need to worry. I won’t push you into the ocean. Hmm… that doesn’t sound bad. The sudden disappearance of a female passenger on a boat.”

“Eek.”

Asahina froze and Haruhi slapped her shoulder.

“I’m joking. Just kidding. That wouldn’t be any fun at all. This boat has to run into an iceberg or be attacked by a monster squid before I could classify it as a serious incident.”

I’ll check where the lifeboats are located later. I doubt any icebergs are floating around the coastal waters of Japan in the middle of summer, but I could see some unknown water-dwelling creature popping out of nowhere. I shot a look in an attempt to tell them to take out the monster if it showed up, but Koizumi merely smiled at me and Nagato continued staring at the wall.

Haruhi was still talking by herself.

“Incidents are supposed to happen on remote islands! Koizumi, I won’t be disappointed, right?!”

“There are no significant events scheduled,” Koizumi responded mildly. “I also wish for this to be a pleasant trip.”

Koizumi smiled the ambiguous smile typical of people saying insincere things. Though I suppose that was the usual expression on his face, I stared at the stupid esper in an attempt to break through that smiling mask, but I soon gave up. His smile, just like Nagato’s poker face, reveals no information. Seriously, can’t you people show some human emotion? Just not as much as Haruhi, please.

Haruhi hummed a random tune as she led Asahina outside the cabin. Asahina kept looking back at me like she was hoping I’d come along, but that could have just been a wrong assumption on my part, and I didn’t want to ruin Haruhi’s mood by tagging along so I didn’t.

I’m pretty sure that Haruhi would still save Asahina from falling into the ocean. I looked up at the ceiling and prayed that was true before lying down sideways with my bag as a pillow. I’d woken up early this morning, so I figured I’d get some sleep for now.

I had a feeling that my dream had involved something of a fantasy nature, but before I could remember any details I was slapped awake and receiving a directive transmission from Haruhi.

“What are you sleeping for, stupid? Get up already. Do you even intend to be serious about this trip? How much use will you be if you’re like this on the boat ride there?”

It appeared that we had arrived at the stopover island while I was asleep, and I felt as though I’d lost something irreplaceable.

“The first step is key. You don’t have the mentality to enjoy things. Look at how those eyes are shining with excitement about this trip.”

Haruhi was pointing at the three servants disembarking from the ship with their belongings.

One of them was a smiling boy.

“Now, now, Suzumiya. I’m sure that he’s saving his energy for the rest of the trip. He probably intends to stay awake the whole night to come up with ways to entertain us.”

As I listened to Koizumi’s unneeded follow-up, I searched Nagato’s automaton-like face for these so-called shining eyes and I also glanced at Asahina’s eyes, which resembled those of a small animal.

“We’re already there?” I muttered.

A multihour trip. With the members of the SOS Brigade. No, I could care less about the other people. I had given into my desire to sleep and killed an opportunity to spend quality time with Asahina inside the cabin.

Whoa. I’d already jinxed myself. Should I really be spending my summer vacation like this? The only memory I’d have of this day so far would be playing Old Maid. What happened to the two of us chatting while standing in the cool sea breeze?

I felt like grabbing the me who had fallen asleep a few hours ago and kicking him a few times.

Click.

I was blinded by a sudden flash.

I turned toward the source of the sound to find Asahina holding a camera. The child-faced angel had a lovely smile.

“He-he. I took a picture of you waking up.”

She looked like a preschooler who had just pulled off a prank.

“I also took a picture of you while you were sleeping. Did you sleep well?”

I instantly cheered up. I wonder why Asahina was secretly taking pictures of me. Could it be that she actually wanted a picture of me? One to slip into a cute frame and place by her bed for her to say good night to every evening? That sounds nice. Let’s go with that.

Man, if you’d told me that you wanted a picture, I’d have been more than happy to give you as many as you wanted. I’ll even show you my albums once I figure out where they’re tucked away.

However, I was about to voice that sentiment when Asahina handed the instant camera to Haruhi.

“Kyon, what are you grinning about? It makes you look like an idiot so you’d better stop.”

As she put the camera in her bag, Haruhi had a look on her face like she was planning on selling exclusive photos of an accident scene to some newspaper.

“Mikuru is serving as the temporary SOS Brigade photographer for this trip. We aren’t taking pictures for fun. These will serve as important materials for leaving a record of our club activities for posterity. But we can’t allow this girl to take pictures of whatever she wants, so I’ll be instructing her.”

And how are pictures of me sleeping and waking up considered important materials?

“The pictures of you sleeping with a stupid face completely free of any concern about this trip will serve as a warning to future generations! Understood? An underling snoring away when the chief is awake goes against morals, natural order, and brigade code!”

I couldn’t tell if Haruhi was angry or laughing as she glared at me. It appeared that it would be futile to ask when a brigade code had been made up. It probably wasn’t anything in writing, so I’ll just let it slide like an Egyptian.

“Got it. So if I don’t want my face drawn on, I can’t go to sleep before you do? But in that case, if I wake up before you, I should be allowed to draw a mustache on your face.”

“What’s that? You want to do something that childish? Just so you know, my senses are so sharp that I even hit back in my sleep. And a brigade member committing such offenses against the brigade chief would lead to heads rolling.”

You know, Haruhi, the majority of modern countries don’t behead people anymore. What do you have to say about that?

“Why do I have to comment on the penal practices of other countries? The trouble isn’t going to happen in a foreign country. We’ll find it on the mysterious island we’re headed for!”

As I adjusted my bag, I prayed that her “find” wasn’t going to turn into a “make.”

The boat rocked back and forth. It appeared that we were preparing to dock at the wharf. The other passengers were headed toward the vicinity of the exit.

“A mysterious island, huh…”

Are we headed for Panorama Island or something? I just hope that the island won’t suddenly rise out of the water or start moving.

“It’ll be fine.”

Koizumi nodded, appearing to have read my mind.

“It’s simply a small, removed island with nothing unusual about it. You won’t find any monsters or crazy scientists there. You have my word.”

This guy’s word hasn’t been very dependable. I silently looked at Nagato’s pale face.

“…”

Nagato silently looked back. I suppose that she can slay monsters if it comes to that. I’m counting on you, E.T.

The boat rocked again.

“Eek.”

Asahina lost her balance, but Nagato was there to silently hold her up.

We disembarked from the ferry to find a butler and maid waiting for us.

“Hello, Arakawa. It’s been quite some time.”

Koizumi cheerfully waved one hand.

“And you, Mori. Thank you for coming to meet us. Sorry to trouble you.”

Koizumi then turned back to us, standing dumbfounded, and spread his arms in an exaggerated motion like a stage actor focused on making sure the people in the nosebleed section can see what he’s doing. His usual smile was four times wider than usual.

“Allow me to introduce you. These are the two people who manage the manor we will be staying in, Arakawa and Mori. Their respective positions are butler and maid. Ah, I suppose you can see that.”

No kidding. I took another look at the two peculiarities who remained bowed. You couldn’t help staring at them.

“We have been awaiting your arrival. I am the butler, Arakawa.”

An old tuxedo-clad gentleman with white hair, eyebrows, and mustache greeted us and bowed again.

“My name is Sonoh Mori. I serve as the maid. It is a pleasure to meet you.”

The woman next to him lowered her head at the same angle. Then they both straightened together with timing so exact you had to wonder how many times they’d practiced this.

Arakawa appeared to be fairly old, but it was hard to judge what his actual age was. It was also difficult to gauge the age of the maid, Sonoh Mori. She appeared young enough to be our age, but that could have been a product of makeup, or she simply had a baby face.

“A butler and maid?” Haruhi murmured in surprise.

I felt the same way. I had no idea that such professions actually existed in Japan. I figured that the concept had become a relic of the past.

I see. The two people standing behind Koizumi definitely looked like a butler and maid. At the very least, if they introduced themselves as such, you’d have no choice but to nod and agree. Especially the maid, Mori, I believe. She looked like a maid in every possible way. Because she was wearing a maid outfit. I’ve spent every day looking at Asahina wearing her maid outfit in the literary club room, so I know what I’m talking about. And the outfits worn by Arakawa and Mori hadn’t come from Haruhi’s need for pointless costume play. That was the necessary dress for their actual professions.

“Wah…”

In a daze Asahina gazed at the two of them—Mori, to be specific—with a surprised look on her face. Though I suppose it was half surprise and around 30 percent confusion. Who knows what the remaining 20 percent would be considered? There may have been some envy mixed in. Perhaps she’d actually developed a desire to become a real maid after Haruhi kept forcing it on her.

As for Nagato, she hadn’t made a single comment and her face hadn’t even twitched. She stared at the two professionals who made up our reception with eyes like obsidian barbs from the Old Stone Age.

“Now then, everyone,” Arakawa called to us in a rich tenor like that of an opera singer.

“I have prepared a boat over here. It will be a half-hour voyage by boat to reach my master’s island. I hope you can forgive the inconvenience of being located on a remote island.”

He and Mori bowed again. I was feeling pretty uncomfortable. I wanted to tell them we didn’t warrant such courteous treatment. Or is Koizumi the son of some rich family? I figured that his specialty was being an irregular esper, but maybe his family was rich enough for him to be called “young master” at home.

“It’s totally not a problem!”

Haruhi shouted in a voice that instantly scattered all the question marks in my mind. I turned to find that Haruhi had a smile on her face like a bogus movie producer who had just squeezed a large sum of money from a stupid sponsor.

“That’s what makes it a remote island! Half an hour is nothing. You can take as many hours as you want. After all, I’m looking for a remote island in the middle of the ocean. Kyon, Mikuru, you should be happier about this. We have a remote island with a manor and there’s even a suspicious-looking butler and maid. You could search all of Japan and only find two islands like this!”

There isn’t a second one.

“W-Wow. So amazing… I can’t wait.”

Moving past Asahina’s failed attempt to sound excited, Haruhi is taking rude to a new level when she’s calling people “suspicious-looking” to their face.

Well, this whole situation is pretty shady, and quite frankly, the SOS Brigade isn’t any less suspicious so we aren’t really in a position to talk about others, but I don’t see why events had to play out in a way that left Haruhi on a perpetual high.

As I watched Koizumi chat with Arakawa the butler and Mori the maid standing by with her hands clasped, I had an urge to look out into the sea. Calm waves and clear skies. No sign of an impending hurricane so far.

Will we ever step foot on the mainland again?

Nagato’s cool poker face looked very reassuring. Pathetic, huh?

Arakawa and Mori led us to a small wharf near the ferry dock. I had been expecting a pop-pop boat, but instead, a private cruiser out of a picture of the Mediterranean was rocking in the waves. It looked so fancy I didn’t even want to ask how much it cost, though I could totally picture catching a swordfish while riding this thing.

I was too careless. While ignoring Haruhi, who just jumped onboard herself, Koizumi helped the timid Asahina and indifferent Nagato onto the ship. That should have been my job, but groaning about it failed to turn the clock back.

We were led into the cabin, and before I could even start wondering why such a fancy Western-style reception room was inside a boat, the cruiser gently set off. So it appears that butlers have boat permits these days since Arakawa was the one at the helm.

Incidentally, Sonoh Mori was sitting across from me with a gentle smile, like she was a fixture on this ship. Her maid attire was chic and fundamentally sound. I had a feeling that it wasn’t as stimulating as the outfit Haruhi made Asahina wear in the club room, but since I wasn’t particularly well versed in the world of maid outfits, I wasn’t really sure.

I wasn’t the only person feeling uneasy, as Asahina had been glancing over at the maid’s garb. Maybe she wants to ask about the experiences of a real maid on the job as a reference for how to behave in the club room. She tends to be serious about the oddest things.

Nagato was sitting rigidly in a forward position while Koizumi remained composed with the usual smile on his face.

“This is a nice boat. Perhaps we should add fishing to the schedule?” he proposed to no one in particular.

And as for Haruhi—

“So what do you call that building?”

“What do you mean?”

“Does it have a name along the lines of House of Black Death, Crooked Mansion, Lolac Villa, or Koketsu Castle?”

“No, not particularly.”

“Are there any terrifying stories about strange hidden mechanisms or the architect dying an unnatural death or a room where any person who spends a night will die?”

“None that I am aware of.”

“In that case, does the master of the manor wear a mask or hear the voices of his three sisters inside his head, and then there were none?”

“Not at all.”

The butler chimed in.“Nothing like that at the moment.”

“Then there’s a pretty high chance that something will happen in the future, right?”

“That may be the case.”

This butler is just telling her what she wants to hear.

As soon as the boat had set off, Haruhi had climbed up to the cockpit of the boat and engaged in the above conversation with Arakawa. From what I could hear of their conversation over the sound of the engine and splashing waves, it seemed that Haruhi was expecting way too much from this manor on a remote island. In any case, why does she insist that the island have a bizarre nature simply because it’s removed from land? Can’t she be satisfied by taking a swim, eating good food, lying around, and strengthening our friendship before going home happily? I sincerely hope she can.

Though it may already be too late.

The appearance of a butler and maid had been more unexpected than a blue shark showing up in a public pool, so at this point, I wouldn’t really have been surprised if the master of the manor wore a mask or there were other guests who behaved in a suspicious manner. Damn Koizumi. What other tricks do you have up your sleeve?

“Wow! I can see it! Is that the villa?”

“That would be the manor,” Haruhi’s conspicuously loud and lovely voice boomed through the air, stabbing my heart like thunder.

The villa or whatever actually looked pretty normal.

The sun was on its way down, but there was still time before dusk. As sunlight fell upon the manor, I almost thought that it was shining. After all, I’d never dreamed that I’d ever set foot in something like a villa.

The building enshrined atop a vertical cliff didn’t appear any different from what you’d expect from a manor constructed as a rich person’s summer getaway, though it didn’t appear to be based on an old castle from Europe, it wasn’t a brick-colored house entwined in vines, it didn’t have any strange towers attached, and it didn’t seem to conceal any funny gimmicks like the ones you’d find in a ninja house.

As expected, Haruhi had a look on her face like someone served onion rings after expecting pork chops as she gazed at the villa (manor, according to Haruhi) in the distance.

“Hmm. This isn’t quite what I was expecting. I believe that the appearance is a critical element. I wonder if the architect referenced older documents in the process.”

I stood next to Haruhi on the deck as I took in the scenery. I’d been dragged out of the cabin by her.

“What do you think about that, Kyon? The building looks surprisingly normal for something on a remote island. Don’t you find that a waste?”

I sure do. Why do you need to build a villa in this place? It’s an hour-long round trip by private cruiser just to go to the convenience store. Where do you go if you’re feeling hungry in the middle of the night? And I doubt there are any vending machines around.

“I’m talking about the atmosphere. I’d been convinced that the place would be more eerie-looking. This is what I’d expect from a quiet tourist destination. We aren’t here to have fun at a rich friend’s summer home.”

I brushed away the strands of Haruhi’s hair that were blowing in the wind and prickling my face.

“That’s right. This is supposed to be a summer camp. What kind of activities do you have planned? Are we going to pretend to be adventurers? Simulate what would happen if we were stranded on a deserted island?”

“Ah, that’s a good idea. I’ll add island exploration to the agenda. Maybe we can discover a new species.”

Not good. I just said something to make Haruhi’s eyes shine brighter. Please don’t let anything unneeded show up, island.

I directed that thought in the direction of the island covered in green.

“It appears that the islands in this area were formed long ago when underwater volcanoes erupted,” Koizumi said as he slowly walked out.

“New species aside, there is a possibility that we may discover shards of earthenware left by ancient tribes. Or traces left by the proto-Japanese during their voyage across the sea. Isn’t it romantic?”

I don’t see any connection between the romance of archaeology and this newly built villa, but I definitely don’t want to go around looking for tsuchinoko or digging holes. We can split into two groups. Haruhi and Koizumi can explore the island while Asahina, Nagato, and I play on the beach. Nice idea.

“Oh? I see somebody over there.”

Haruhi pointed to a small wharf that I would expect to have been newly constructed. Apparently, the harbor was specifically meant for the cruiser as there were no other boats in sight. A single figure stood at the end of the breakwater-like structure and waved to us. It appeared to be a man.

Haruhi reflexively waved back.

“Koizumi, is that man the master of the manor? He looks awfully young.”

Koizumi was also waving.

“No, that isn’t him. He’s also an invited guest. The younger brother of the owner of the manor. I’ve met him once before.”

“Koizumi,” I interjected. “Tell us these things earlier. This is the first I’ve heard about any other guests.”

“I just found out about him now.” Koizumi casually shrugged me off. “But there is no need to worry. He is a very nice person. Of course, the same can be said of the owner of the manor, Keiichi Tamaru.”

I’d heard that this Keiichi Tamaru was crazy enough to build a villa in this remote place as a summer residence. He was a distant relative of Koizumi’s, like his mother’s cousin or something along those lines. I’m not really sure, but he’d hit the jackpot in biotechnology and was now living a very comfortable life. He probably had more money than he knew how to spend. Or else I wouldn’t be able to understand why he built this thing.

The cruiser slowed down as it approached the harbor. We were close enough for me to make out the features of the man standing on the dock. He was dressed in youthful attire and looked to be in his twenties. This was Keiichi Tamaru’s younger brother, apparently.

Arakawa was the butler and Sonoh Mori was the maid.

That left the star, the master of the manor, Keiichi Tamaru.

Was it safe to assume that we’d covered all the characters who would be showing up?

Thinking back, I’d spent hours on shaking boats today… Which was why I felt like the ground was shaking right now.

Once we’d disembarked from the cruiser and stepped onto firm land, the young man greeted us with a cheerful smile.

“Hey, Itsuki. It’s been a long time.”

“Indeed, Yutaka. Thank you for coming to meet us.”

Koizumi nodded before introducing us.

“These are the people who look after me at school.”

Not that I remember ever looking after him. Koizumi began working down the line, point to each of us one by one.

“This lovely young lady is Haruhi Suzumiya. A rare friend. She always acts in an open and natural manner, something I would love to learn to do.”

What kind of introduction is that? I can feel sweat dripping down my back. You too, Haruhi. Come on. Why are you pretending to act all refined and polite? Did your brain get jumbled up from being seasick?

However, Haruhi smiled a blindingly brilliant smile.

“I am Suzumiya. Koizumi is an invaluable member of my brigade… I mean, student association. Koizumi was the one who invited us to this island. He always serves as a reliable deputy brigade… I mean, vice president. Ahem.”

Koizumi ignored the frosty look I was sending him and continued with his introductions.

“This is Mikuru Asahina. As you can see, she’s an upperclassman who’s considered the lovely and beautiful idol of our school. Her smile could bring world peace to fruition.”

There’s one.

“This is Yuki Nagato. She’s a veritable gold mine of information that can’t be found in our textbooks. She’s soft-spoken, but that could be considered as one of her endearing qualities.”

And there was another profile that set my teeth on edge. Naturally, I was also given introductions riddled with embellished compliments like something you’d find in a personal ad, but I’ll skip over that part.

Yutaka flashed a brilliant smile befitting a relative of Koizumi’s.

“Welcome. I’m Yutaka Tamaru. I’ve been hired to help out at my brother’s company. I’ve heard much about you all from Itsuki. I was worried when he suddenly had to transfer, but I’m glad he’s made such wonderful friends.”

“Everybody,” Arakawa’s melodiously gruff voice came from behind.

I turned to find the butler, carrying a fairly large burden, and Sonoh Mori getting off the boat.

“We’re exposed to the sun here. Why don’t we move to the villa?”

Yutaka nodded in response to Arakawa’s suggestion.

“You have a point. My brother’s also waiting. Let’s take the luggage with us. I’ll help out.”

“We should be fine. Please assist Arakawa and Mori. It appears that they bought a large amount of groceries on the main island.”

Yutaka returned Koizumi’s smile with a smile of his own.

“That gives me something to look forward to.”

And once the harmless chitchat was over with, we followed Koizumi toward the villa on the cliff.

Looking back, this was when I started to have a funny feeling about things.

Though as they say, hindsight is 20/20.

To reach the villa we climbed our way up a staircase resembling the one leading up to the eighth station on Mount Fuji. My condolences to Haruhi, but this place was definitely a villa and not a manor or mansion.

The white structure was three stories high yet it felt flat, probably because it took up a ridiculous amount of space. I almost wanted to count how many rooms there were. You could probably have housed two whole soccer teams in this place. A portion of the thick foliage had been cleared off to build the villa, but how had they managed to ship all the necessary construction materials here? That would have required a fairly large-scale heliborne operation. I don’t understand rich people.

“This way, please.”

Koizumi led us to the entrance like a butler-in-training. Everybody lined up in a row. We were finally about to meet the master of the manor. A nerve-wracking moment.

Haruhi was standing in front of the rest of us like a horse racing ahead of the herd. I could see that she was having a hard time containing her anticipation as she licked her lips. Asahina was fussing over her hair in an adorable fashion so she would make a good first impression. Nagato, as usual, stood completely still without any visible signs of sweating, like one of those lucky cat statues.

Koizumi looked back at us before smiling thinly and coolly pressing the button on the intercom next to the door.

Someone answered and Koizumi responded with a greeting. After we waited for about half a minute, the door slowly opened.

Needless to say, the man standing in front of us wasn’t wearing an iron mask or a ski mask with sunglasses and he didn’t suddenly attack us or yell obscure gibberish to confuse us. He was just a normal-looking middle-aged man.

“Welcome.”

The man who was supposed to be Keiichi Tamaru was allegedly a self-made millionaire, but he looked to be a normal old guy in a golf shirt and cargo pants as he beckoned us over with one hand.

“We’ve been waiting for you, Itsuki. And your friends as well. Quite frankly, this is a terribly boring place. You’ll be sick of it by the third day. The only other person who accepted my invitation was Yutaka. Oh!”

Keiichi’s gaze glided past me to reach Asahina, Haruhi, and Nagato in that order.

“Well, well. You have some lovely friends, Itsuki, I see. They’re just as beautiful as I’ve heard. They’ll add some color to this dreary island. That’s just splendid.”

Haruhi smiled, Asahina bowed, and Nagato stood still. The three of them reacted in different ways as they looked at Keiichi offering a warm welcome, the way you would look at a music teacher showing up for history class. Eventually, Haruhi stepped forward.

“I would like to express my sincere gratitude for your invitation today. I truly appreciate the opportunity to stay in such a wonderful mansion. On behalf of everyone here, I offer our thanks.”

She sounded like she was reading off a script an octave higher than her normal voice. Does she intend to keep pretending to be a nice girl for the rest of the trip? She should drop that flimsy act before she lets her true nature slip.

Keiichi Tamaru apparently agreed.

“Are you Suzumiya? My, you sure are different from what I’ve heard. According to Itsuki, you were… Uh, what was it again, Itsuki?”

Everyone’s attention suddenly turned to Koizumi, who responded without any sign of losing his composure.

“A frank person, I believe. That’s what I remember telling you.”

“We’ll go with that then. Yes, I’d heard that you were more of a frank girl.”

“Oh, really?”

Haruhi promptly dropped the invisible good girl mask. Then she flashed that brilliant smile she rarely showed outside the club room.

“Nice to meet ya, big guy! Moving right along, have any strange incidents happened in this mansion? And do the locals have a special name for the island or any ominous legends about the place? I happen to be interested in that kind of stuff.”

Don’t reveal your eccentric tastes to somebody you’re meeting for the first time. And yeah, you shouldn’t be telling the owner of the house that you want something bad to happen. What if he turns us away?

However, Keiichi Tamaru merely laughed generously.

“I happen to share your interests, but nothing has happened yet, since the building was only completed a few days ago. And I don’t know anything about the history of the island. Though I haven’t heard anything particularly sinister about the place. After all, it was a deserted island.”

And after that magnanimous gesture of kindness, he motioned for us to go inside.

“Let’s not stand here and talk. Please come inside. This is a Western-style house so feel free to leave your shoes on. I suppose we should start by showing you to your rooms. Normally, I would ask Arakawa to serve as your guide, but he appears to be busy carrying stuff in. Guess I’ll have to do it myself.”

And with that, Keiichi led us inside.

Well, I’d like to provide a diagram of the interior of the villa that showed room assignments, but I learned that I had no talent for drawing back during the early years of grade school, so I’ll refrain. Simply put, the rooms were staying in were on the second floor while Keiichi’s bedroom and Yutaka’s guest room were on the third floor. Perhaps that tells you how close they were. Arakawa the butler and Mori the maid were staying in smaller rooms on the first floor…

And that should cover everyone.

“Does this house have a name of some sort?”

Keiichi smiled wryly in response to Haruhi’s question.

“It was just completed so we haven’t thought of one yet. We’re open to any good ideas.”

“Yes. How does House of Tragedy or House of Fear sound? And you can name each room with names like Bloodsucking Hall or Cursed Room.”

“Oh, that sounds great. I’ll have nameplates made up for next time.”

I really don’t want to sleep in a room with a name that’ll give me nightmares.

Our group passed through the lobby and up the stairs made of high-grade wood to reach the second floor. The hallway was lined with doors as though this were a hotel.

“The rooms should all be the same size, though. There are single and double rooms. Feel free to use whichever one you want.”

Well, what to do? I wouldn’t mind sharing a room, though with five of us, somebody’s going to be left over, and logic dictates that Nagato would be the odd one out. Of course, I could offer to be Nagato’s roommate and she probably wouldn’t mind, but I’d end up instantly dying from an offhand punch by Haruhi.

“Well, we can each stay in our own room.”

That was Koizumi’s final conclusion.

“Since we’ll only be in our rooms when we’re sleeping anyway. And we’re free to move between rooms. By the way, do the doors lock?”

“Of course.”

Keiichi Tamaru smiled as he nodded.

“The keys are on the sideboard in each room. The doors don’t lock automatically so you won’t be locked out of your room if you forget the key, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t lose it.”

I won’t even need a key. I’ll leave the door unlocked when I’m sleeping. Since Asahina might sneak in for some reason after everybody else has fallen asleep. And I don’t have anything worth stealing with me. Nobody’s going to commit theft in a situation with such a short suspect list. And if somebody did, it would obviously be Haruhi.

“Then I’ll go check on Arakawa and Mori. Feel free to use this opportunity to explore the premises. Don’t forget to check where the emergency exits are located. I’ll be going then.”

And with that, Keiichi returned downstairs.

Here was Haruhi’s impression of Keiichi Tamaru.

“The absence of anything suspicious about him makes him a suspicious character.”

“Then what if he looked suspicious?”

“There you go. He’d obviously be a suspicious character.”

So as far as she’s concerned, nothing in this world can be considered free of suspicion. Standards so strict the International Organization for Standardization would be surprised. She should work for the Japan Advertising Review Organization, Inc., in the future. She’d be busy with work every day.

We randomly chose rooms and unloaded our belongings before meeting up in the double room Haruhi had taken. Occupying a double room by herself definitely fell into the category of Haruhi-like behavior. In other words, her personality doesn’t allow for any restraint or modesty.

The three girls were sitting on the bed, I was parked on the dressing table, and Koizumi was calmly leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

“I’ve figured it out!”

Haruhi shouted all of a sudden and I reflexively responded in the usual fashion.

“Figured what out?”

“The culprit.”

Haruhi’s face as she made her proclamation seemed to be filled with some kind of mysterious conviction.

I reluctantly voiced what the other three were thinking.

“What culprit? Nothing’s happened yet. We just got here.”

“My gut tells me that the culprit is the master of this place. His first victim will probably be Mikuru.”

“Eek!”

Asahina was really scared. She trembled like a little rabbit hearing the flapping of a hawk’s wings and clutched at the skirt of Nagato, standing next to her. Nagato didn’t say anything.

“…”

She just silently stared at a fixed point in the air.

“Like I said, what culprit?” I asked one more time. “Or should I say, what crime do you intend to blame Keiichi Tamaru for?”

“How am I supposed to know that? He just had a look in his eyes like he was plotting something. My gut is usually right. I’m sure that we’ll be involved in some kind of big surprise.”

I hoped that she was just talking about a simple surprise party, but Haruhi wasn’t expecting a cheap birthday party with a lame catch.

Just imagine. Keiichi suddenly dropping the friendly smile and getting a crazy look in his eyes as he starts slashing guests with a kitchen knife. The old guy beating at the door to use us as sacrifices because he was possessed by an ancient spirit after stumbling upon an old dolmen deep in the forest of the island.

“That’s ridiculous.”

I waved one hand in a horizontal motion as I shot myself down.

There’s no way that an acquaintance of Koizumi’s would do something like that. The “Agency” can’t be made up of a bunch of idiots. They should have investigated the site beforehand. Koizumi still has that usual harmless smile on his face. Arakawa the butler, Sonoh Mori, and Yutaka Tamaru have absolutely nothing in common with the residents from horror stories. Besides, Haruhi is looking for a detective mystery, not a splatter film.

If anything were to happen, it’d be a serial murder or two, right? Though I doubt it’s going to happen so conveniently. The skies are clear and they haven’t issued a high seas warning. This island hasn’t become an isolated space.

Besides, Haruhi wouldn’t truly wish for someone to die. If Haruhi were that kind of a person, I’d have run out of patience after dealing with her for so long.

Haruhi, paying no heed to my worries, spoke up in an innocent-sounding voice. “Let’s start by taking a swim. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that people come to the beach for the sole purpose of swimming. Let’s see how far we can swim. We can have a contest to see who gets carried away by the waves first!”

Sure, but you better have a search and rescue team standing by.

Still, we just got here and we’re already on the move? Hasn’t she even considered taking a short break after the long voyage? Of course, it was possible that Haruhi wasn’t tired, but she could at least occasionally refrain from using herself as the standard for everyone else.

“What are you talking about? You could take an offering to the Temple of Apollo, but that isn’t going to stop the sun. We have to move before the sun sets ’cause time’s a-wasting.”

Haruhi wrapped her arms around Asahina and Nagato’s necks.

“Wah,” went Asahina as she blinked, while “…” was the silent response from Nagato.

“Swimsuits. Swimsuits. Get changed and meet up in the lobby. Heh-heh-heh. I chose the swimsuits these girls will be wearing. Kyon, you’re getting excited, aren’t you?”

Haruhi bared her white teeth with a creepy smirk in a look that said she knew what I was thinking.

“You’re absolutely right.”

I puffed my chest up in defiance. That was my primary objective for this trip. I won’t let anyone rain on my parade.

“Koizumi, the private beach is reserved for us, right?!”

“Yes, that’s right. Our only company will be a few seashells washed up on the shore. It’s an unexplored beach. But the tide comes in quickly so you shouldn’t get too far away from the coast. Assuming you were serious about having a contest.”

“As if. It was just a joke. Someone like Mikuru would end up as fish food after getting swept away by the Kuroshio Current in no time. Okay, everybody? Don’t get all excited and swim too far out. Stay where I can see you.”

Should Haruhi be acting as the guardian here when she’s the most excited one? Maybe I should suck it up and play that role. In any case, I’ll take care not to let Asahina out of my sight for longer than two seconds.

“Over there! Kyon!”

Haruhi pointed her finger at the tip of my nose.

“Get that creepy smile off your face. You look better with your mouth half-open in a grimace. I won’t be letting you have the camera!”

The high-flying and audacious Haruhi Express smiled.

“Okay, let’s go!”

And so, here we are.

Here was a coastal beach of sand. The intense sunlight was definitely what you’d expect of summer. The advancing waves washed over the sand as white clouds puffy like cotton candy slowly floated across a canvas of deep blue. A sharp sea breeze rustled our hair and slowly beckoned us to the water.

The words “private beach” have a nice ring, but the truth was that there wasn’t any need to book a reservation for this beach because it was on an island so far removed from civilization that nobody would ever bother coming here to swim, with the exception of foreign tourists who’d been fooled by some travel magazine. Needless to say, there wasn’t any sign of human life around besides the five of us. There weren’t even any birds flying around.

Which meant that the only witnesses lucky enough to see Haruhi and the other girls in their swimsuits were the barnacles attached to the rocks. If you don’t count Koizumi and me.

I had spread a blanket under the beach umbrella and squinted at Asahina, who looked all embarrassed, when Haruhi ran up to block my view.

“Mikuru, swimming at the beach is a rule of this world. Come on, let’s go. It’s unhealthy to stay out of the sunlight!”

“Wait, but my skin gets sunburned really easily…”

Haruhi paid no heed to Asahina’s cowering as she led the pale upperclassman to the edge of the water and dove in.

“Wah, it’s salty.”

Asahina was surprised by the obvious as she splashed in the water.

As for Nagato.

“…”

She was kneeling on the blanket with her back straight, also in a swimsuit, as she read a paperback in silence.

“Each person has a different method of having fun.”

Koizumi stopped blowing up the beach ball to smile at me.

“People should spend their leisure time doing activities they enjoy. Or else, that would defeat the point of going on a vacation. Shouldn’t we attempt to relax and savor this four-day three-night trip?”

Isn’t Haruhi the only one enjoying herself? I doubt that Asahina’s feeling too relaxed when Haruhi’s toying with her.

“Hey, Kyon! Koizumi! You guys get over here too!”

We stood up in response to Haruhi’s sirenlike shouting. Truth be told, I didn’t go reluctantly. Haruhi aside, my heart’s desire was to be near Asahina. Koizumi passed the blown-up beach ball to me and I began walking across the hot sand.

Upon returning to the villa feeling moderately fatigued, we took quick showers before returning to our rooms for a brief rest, after which time the sky was filled with stars and Mori was leading us to the dining hall.

It was dinnertime.

Dinner that night was an extravagant affair. I doubt Asahina had particularly wanted to eat seafood, but there was a plateful in front of each of us, enough to make a person destined to live in poverty like me sit up straight. And we’re getting free room and board? Is this really okay?

“Absolutely.”

Keiichi Tamaru assured us with a smile on his face. “Just think of it as a way of showing my appreciation for coming all the way out here. After all, I was bored. Well, I don’t mean that I would have invited anybody available. But Itsuki’s friends are more than welcome here.”

Keiichi was now dressed formally, unlike when he came out to greet us. He wore a dark suit with a necktie in a Windsor knot. The food being served was a mix of Japanese and European cuisine with a menu including carpaccio, meuniere, and some kind of steamed dish among others, though Keiichi was the only one eating with a knife and fork. The rest of us had been using chopsticks the whole time.

“The food is absolutely delicious. Who made this?” Haruhi asked as she displayed an appetite worthy of consideration for an eating contest.

“The butler, Arakawa, also serves as the chef. Impressive, isn’t it?” said Keiichi.

“I’d love to offer my appreciation. Please call him over later.”

Haruhi was putting on the airs of a person at a fancy restaurant.

Asahina’s eyes widened every time she took a bite. Nagato, who didn’t seem like a big eater, was keeping up a surprising pace. Koizumi was cheerfully chatting with Yutaka and the others.

---

---

“Would you like something to drink?”

Mori, who served as our waitress in her maid outfit, held a long and narrow bottle as she smiled at me. Looks like some kind of wine. Can’t say that I approve of offering alcohol to minors, but I decided to try a glass. I’d never had wine before, but humans are supposed to be a little adventurous. Besides, I’d feel bad if I turned down Mori while being faced with that charming smile.

“Ah, what are you drinking by yourself over there, Kyon? I want some of that too.”

Per Haruhi’s request, a glass of wine was passed to everyone.

Somehow, I have a feeling that this was when the nightmare began.

That day, I discovered that Asahina had absolutely zero tolerance for alcohol, Nagato was like a bottomless pit, and Haruhi was a hopeless drunk.

My own memories were rather hazy since I got cocky and drank a bit too much, but I recall Haruhi drinking from the bottle as she slapped Keiichi’s head.

“Man, you’re the best! I’ll leave Mikuru here as thanks for inviting us. Do some serious maid training. This girl really needs help.”

I vaguely remembered Haruhi shouting something along those lines.

The real maid, Sonoh Mori, had lined up the wine bottles on the table like bowling pins and presented us with expertly sliced apples for dessert. Asahina, the fake maid who was only on duty in the club room, was collapsed on the table, her face completely red.

Nagato continued emptying the alcoholic beverages Mori brought over. I had no idea how her body processed alcohol, but her complexion hadn’t changed a bit as she emptied bottle after bottle like a whale drinking seawater.

Yutaka looked at her with great interest.

“Are you sure you’re fine?”

The sight of him talking to Nagato in a concerned voice tugged at a corner of my memory.

That night, I completely passed out and was able to reach my bed only with Koizumi’s help. Koizumi told me afterward with a mocking smile on his face. He also mentioned that I, along with Haruhi, had engaged in some sort of disgraceful behavior, but I had no recollection of any such thing, so I’ll just pretend that I never heard him tell me that. We’ll just say it was one of Koizumi’s typical jokes.

Because what happened the next day pushed all that stuff to the corners of our minds.

On the morning of the second day, a storm showed up out of the blue.

A horizontal rain pounded on the walls as strong gusts howled ominously. The trees around the villa shook as though they were possessed by ghosts.

“Rotten luck. A hurricane had to show up now of all times,” Haruhi muttered as she looked out the window. We were in Haruhi’s room. We had gathered to hold a meeting to discuss what we would do today.

We had already eaten breakfast. Keiichi had been absent from the table that morning. Apparently, he had a hard time getting up in the morning, and it was all but impossible for him to get out of bed before noon, according to Arakawa’s explanation.

Haruhi turned to us.

“But you know. Now we’re really on a remote island in the middle of a storm. A once-in-a-lifetime situation. Maybe something will actually happen.”

Asahina flinched as her eyes darted around. Koizumi and Nagato looked as though this was business as usual.

The waves had been perfectly calm yesterday, yet now we had a high wave warning. Definitely beyond acceptable conditions for going out in a boat. If it’s still this bad in two days, we’ll have been unwillingly trapped on this island because of Haruhi’s will. A closed circle. It couldn’t be.

Koizumi smiled in an attempt to reassure us.

“It appears to be a fast-moving hurricane so conditions should improve over the next two days. It’ll suddenly disappear the way it suddenly showed up.”

“That’s what the weather forecast says. But there wasn’t any information about a hurricane coming yesterday. Whose head did this storm happen to pop out of?”

“It was a coincidence,” Koizumi said calmly. “An ordinary natural phenomenon. One of the signs of summer. We get at least one large-scale hurricane every year.”

“I was planning on exploring the island, but we’ll have to cancel that,” Haruhi said in a bitter voice. “Can’t do anything about that. Let’s find something we can do indoors.”

I guess that Haruhi had completely forgotten the purpose of this trip since her focus had shifted to having fun. I appreciated the change, since I didn’t want to cross over to the other side of the island to find the carcass of some huge organism washed up against the cliff.

Koizumi offered his opinion.

“I believe there is a game room. I’ll ask Keiichi to let us use it. Would you prefer mahjong or billiards? I’m sure they could also prepare a Ping-Pong table if we asked.”

Haruhi approved.

“Then we’ll have a Ping-Pong tournament. A round-robin tournament to determine the first SOS Brigade Ping-Pong champion. The loser has to buy juice for everyone on the ferry ride back. You’re not allowed to hold yourself back.”

The game room was in the basement. It was a spacious hall with mahjong and billiard tables in addition to a roulette wheel and baccarat table. Were Koizumi’s relatives running a casino on the side? This seemed to be a prime spot for gambling.

“Who knows?” Koizumi said with an innocent smile on his face. He was sliding a folded-up Ping-Pong table over from the wall.

Incidentally, Haruhi won the Ping-Pong tournament after a fiercely contested match with me. We then moved onto a mahjong tournament. However, Koizumi was the only SOS Brigade member who knew the rules, so it turned into a game of learn as we go. The Tamaru brothers joined in halfway through, which made the mahjong session a lot more animated. Haruhi distorted the rules to make up her own winning hands that didn’t make any sense, like “Two Color One Void” and “Pseudo-Outside Hand” and “Permanently Two Away,” and declare victory after victory. It was amusing so we let her have her fun. Plus we weren’t playing for money.

“Ron! Probably around ten thousand points!”

“Suzumiya, that’s capped at eight thousand.”

I surreptitiously released a sigh of relief. I should have adopted a more optimistic mind-set. It would be best to enjoy this trip in a normal fashion. At this rate, there wouldn’t be any fishy sea monsters popping out of the ocean or any aboriginals storming out of the forest. After all, we were on a remote island in the middle of the ocean. Nothing weird would be able to come from the outside.

With that in mind, I decided to relax. Keiichi Tamaru and Yutaka along with the Arakawa-Mori servant combo appeared quite normal for acquaintances of Koizumi. We would need a few more characters before anything strange could happen.

That’s what I wanted to believe.

But as they say, it ain’t over till the fat lady sings. I don’t know exactly which fat lady is doing the singing or where she’s planning on doing her singing, but once I find out where she is, I’d love to put her out of commission for a whole year.

The trouble came on the morning of the third day.

We spent the second day having fun and gorging ourselves, and the weather got even worse that night as we held a banquet so similar to the previous night it was like a replay. On the third day, I woke up with a killer headache. If Koizumi hadn’t woken us up, Haruhi, Asahina, and I would probably have kept on sleeping.

I opened the curtains. The storm was still pouring down on us on the morning of the third day.

“I wonder if we’ll be able to go home tomorrow.”

I splashed cold water on my face to clear my head until I could walk in a straight line and carefully walked downstairs, making sure I didn’t trip.

The other members were already sitting at the table in the dining hall. Haruhi and Asahina looked about as bad as I did while Nagato and Koizumi looked the same as always.

The brothers Keiichi Tamaru and Yutaka weren’t here yet. They might have reached their limit after consecutive hangovers. I recalled Haruhi turning the bottle upside down over their glasses. Haruhi was arrogant enough under normal circumstances, but alcohol only served to power her up to unrivaled levels of recklessness, which only made my head hurt more. I resolved to never drink alcohol again with such reckless abandon.

“I’m going to stop drinking wine.”

It appeared that Haruhi had learned her lesson yesterday as she made her declaration with a grimace on her face.

“For some reason, I have no memory of what happened after dinner. Isn’t that an incredible waste? It’s like I lost that time. Yeah, I’m never going to get drunk again. We’re going alcohol-free tonight.”

Normally, high school students shouldn’t be drinking anyway, so I suppose I should praise Haruhi for a relatively decent proposal. But yeah, Asahina in a drunken daze was pretty damn sexy so I couldn’t say that we should get rid of alcohol altogether.

“Let’s do that then.”

Koizumi immediately agreed with her like a sycophant as Mori came in with the cart that had our breakfast.

“Could you refrain from serving alcohol tonight? Soft drinks only, please.”

“Understood.”

Mori bowed respectfully as she set plates of bacon and eggs on the table.

The Tamaru brothers had yet to show up in the dining hall by the time we’d finished eating. We knew that Keiichi had an extremely hard time getting up in the morning, but Yutaka’s absence was somewhat odd.

“Everyone.”

Arakawa and Mori appeared before us. I could sense that Arakawa’s composed face was slightly disturbed. I had a really bad feeling.

“What is it?” Koizumi asked him. “Is there something wrong?”

“Yes,” said Arakawa. “Something that could be considered a problem may have happened. A short while ago, Mori went to check Master Yutaka’s room.”

Mori slowly nodded before she picked up where the butler had left off.

“The room wasn’t locked so I went inside, but Master Yutaka was nowhere to be found.”

She spoke in a voice that sounded like bells ringing. Mori stared at the tablecloth as she spoke.

“The room was completely empty. There were no signs that the bed had been slept in.”

“And then I tried to reach the master over the intercom. However, there was no response.”

Arakawa’s words made Haruhi drop the glass of orange juice in her hand.

“What’s that? So Yutaka is missing and Keiichi isn’t responding?”

“To be frank, that would be correct,” said Arakawa.

“You can’t get into Keiichi’s room? Isn’t there an extra key?”

“I hold the spare keys for the other rooms, but the master’s room is an exception. The master holds the only spare key. It’s a precaution since there are documents concerning his work inside.”

The bad feeling gnawing at my gut had expanded into a dark cloud covering a third of my spirit. The master of the manor who wouldn’t wake up. The younger brother who had disappeared.

Arakawa bowed ever so slightly.

“I intend to proceed to the master’s room now. If possible, I’d like everyone to accompany me. I sense a sort of unrest. Though I hope my worries are for naught.”

Haruhi shot me a quick look. Is she trying to tell me something?

“We should go take a look.”

Koizumi immediately stood up.

“He could be ill or in some other condition which is preventing him from getting up. It may be necessary to break the door down.”

Haruhi hopped out of her seat.

“Kyon, let’s go. I’ve got a bad feeling about this. Come on, Yuki and Mikuru too!”

The look on Haruhi’s face was extraordinarily serious.

I’ll make this quick.

We knocked on the door to Keiichi’s bedroom on the third floor but there wasn’t any response. Koizumi turned the knob but the solid oak door wouldn’t open and stood like a wall that impeded our progress.

We’d checked Yutaka Tamaru’s room on the way there, but just as Mori said, the bedsheets were untouched, making it highly unlikely that anybody had spent the night in that room. Where had he gone? Were he and Keiichi both cooped up in Keiichi’s room?

“If the door is locked from the inside, that means there must be someone in the room.”

Koizumi stroked his chin as he put on a thinking face before speaking in an unusually terse voice.

“We have no choice. We must break down the door. Time could become a critical factor, depending on the situation.”

And so we bunched together and repeatedly slammed into the door. We being Koizumi, Arakawa, and myself. Nagato could probably pick the lock or something, but we couldn’t let her use her funky magic in front of all these people. The three female members of the SOS Brigade and Mori the maid watched from the side as we three males slammed into the door again and again. My shoulder blade was on the verge of screaming in pain when—

The door finally sprang open.

The momentum carried Koizumi, Arakawa, and me into the room, where we fell down, and then—

Yes, we have now returned to the opening scene. Finally returned to the present. Back to telling the story in real time.

………

……

…

And once that flashback had concluded, I lifted myself off the floor. I looked away from Keiichi, who lay with a knife stuck in him, to scrutinize the door with the busted lock. I marveled at the sturdiness of the newly built mansion; even the doors were shiny… or yeah, I’m trying to escape reality here.

Arakawa kneeled next to his master’s body and placed his fingertips against Keiichi’s neck. He then looked up at us.

“He has passed on,” he said in a composed voice, perhaps because he was a professional.

“Ah, ahhh…”

Asahina’s legs had given out and she was sitting out in the hallway. I suppose that was only natural. I felt like doing the same. Nagato’s expressionless face was feeling like a real blessing right about now.

“It appears that we’re in quite a predicament.”

Koizumi circled around Keiichi to the side opposite Arakawa. Koizumi crouched down, carefully reached out, and gingerly touched the jacket of Keiichi’s suit.

His white shirt was stained by a dark red liquid blot of irregular shape.

“Oh?” Koizumi said in a dubious voice.

I looked over. There was a notepad in Keiichi’s shirt pocket. The knife had gone through the suit and pierced the notepad before entering his body. The person who committed this act of violence must have been fairly strong. It doesn’t appear that the ladies here would have been capable of such an act. Though I suppose Haruhi and her ridiculous strength could have pulled it off.

Koizumi spoke in a pensive voice.

“Our first priority is to preserve the scene of the crime. For now, let’s leave the room.”

“Mikuru, are you okay?”

It wasn’t that surprising for Haruhi to sound concerned since Asahina had apparently fainted. She was sitting on the floor with her eyes closed and leaning against Nagato’s thin legs.

“Yuki, we’ll carry Mikuru to my room. You take that arm.”

I suppose that Haruhi talking like a person with common sense could be considered a sign of how upset she was. Nagato and Haruhi each grabbed one of Asahina’s arms and dragged her off toward the stairs.

Once I was sure they were gone, I turned to survey my surroundings.

Arakawa’s hands were clasped in prayer over his master and he had a grieved expression on his face. Mori stood to the side, looking down in sorrow. And Yutaka Tamaru was still nowhere to be found. It was storming outside.

“Well, then,” Koizumi said to me with a thin smile back on his face. “Have you noticed? This situation is exactly what you would call a closed circle.”

I already knew that.

“And at first glance, it would appear that we have a murder on our hands.”

Since this doesn’t look like a suicide.

“Furthermore, it happened in a sealed room.”

I turned to look at the locked windows.

“How could the culprit commit the crime in this inaccessible room and make his escape?”

Ask the culprit.

“Indeed,” Koizumi concurred. “We’ll need to ask Yutaka about this matter.”

Koizumi instructed Arakawa to call the police, then he turned back to me.

“Please go on ahead to Suzumiya’s room. I’ll be there shortly.”

That seemed like a good idea. There wasn’t anything I could do here.

I knocked on the door.

“Who is it?”

“It’s me.”

The door opened a crack and Haruhi peeked out. She invited me in with a strained look on her face.

“Where’s Koizumi?”

“He should be here soon.”

Asahina was sleeping on one of the two beds. You didn’t have to be a prince passing by to want to kiss that sleeping face, but she had a pained expression and she was still unconscious, so I couldn’t do anything about it.

Nagato was sitting in a chair next to her like someone keeping watch over a tomb. Keep it up. Don’t leave Asahina’s side.

“Say, what do you think?”

Haruhi’s question appeared to be directed at me.

“What do you mean?”

“Keiichi. Is this a murder case?”

If one views one’s current situation from an objective standpoint, one should be able to derive the answer. I gave it a try. We broke down the locked door to find the master of the manor lying completely still on the floor with the handle of a knife sticking out of his chest. A murder in a sealed room on a remote island in the middle of a storm. Too perfect.

“Looks like it.”

After a few seconds of time lag, Haruhi sighed in response to my answer.

“Hmm…”

Haruhi lifted one hand to her forehead as she plopped down on her bed.

“Unbelievable. I never expected something like this to happen.”

Her murmured words were also hard to believe. Weren’t you talking about how badly you wanted something to happen?

“That’s ’cause I wasn’t expecting something to actually happen.”

Haruhi grimaced before quickly changing her expression. She appeared to be worrying about what to do in her own way. I was relieved that she wasn’t celebrating. Since I wouldn’t want to end up playing the role of the second victim.

I looked at the upperclassman sleeping with the face of an angel.

“How’s Asahina doing?”

“She should be fine. She just fainted. I have to admire her meek reaction. It’s just like Mikuru to faint. Though at least she didn’t go into hysterics.”

Haruhi’s mind appeared to be elsewhere as she spoke.

A murder in a sealed room on a remote island during a storm. What were the chances of such a thing happening during our trip? However, we were the SOS Brigade, not an occult society or a mystery novel association. Though according to Haruhi, the core principle of the SOS Brigade was to search for the supernatural. Our present circumstances somewhat matched that principle, though I have to say that it’s a totally different story once you’re actually experiencing something happening.

Did this happen because Haruhi desired so?

“Hmm. This isn’t good…”

Haruhi got up from the bed and began pacing around the room.

She reminded me of a mischievous boy after an April Fool’s prank gone wrong. Like a person joking around about something bad happening and then it actually happened. I didn’t feel too good myself.

Well, what to do?

I would have loved to go to sleep next to Asahina, but it wouldn’t be very productive to escape reality. We needed to come up with a way to deal with this. I wonder what Koizumi planned on doing.

“Yeah, I can’t just sit around waiting,” Haruhi said in a firm voice as she stood before me.

I suppose I should have expected this. Haruhi had a serious expression on her face as she shot me a challenging look.

“I need to check something. Kyon, you come with me.”

“I don’t want to leave Asahina here like this.”

“Yuki’s with her so she’ll be fine. Yuki, you lock the door and don’t open it for anyone. Got it?”

Nagato coolly stared at Haruhi.

“Yes.”

She responded in a monotone voice.

Her lifeless eyes met mine for a brief instant. She nodded ever so slightly at an angle where only I would notice—I think.

I doubted that anything dangerous would happen to Haruhi and me. If something were to happen to worsen this situation, Nagato wouldn’t be sitting there silently. As proof I recalled the memory of when we went to the computer society president’s room a short while back.

“Let’s go, Kyon.”

Haruhi grabbed my wrist before stepping out of the room and into the hallway.

“So where are we going?”

“Keiichi’s room. I didn’t have time to look around earlier so I want to check the scene again.”

I recalled Keiichi lying on the floor with a knife in his chest and the dried blood sticking to his white shirt and hesitated for a moment. That’s not something you want to stare too closely at.

Haruhi continued to talk as she walked.

“And we need to find out where Yutaka went. He may still be in the building. Besides…”

We caused quite a commotion. If Yutaka had nothing to do with the murder, it would be quite odd for him not to show himself. There could be only two possible reasons for his absence.

I spoke up as Haruhi dragged me up the stairs.

“Either Yutaka was the culprit and already escaped the villa or Yutaka was also a victim… right?”

“Yep. But things could get ugly if Yutaka isn’t the culprit.”

“I’d say that they’re already ugly enough regardless of who the culprit is…”

Haruhi gave me a sideways glance.

“Hey, Kyon. Excluding the Tamaru brothers, the only people in this manor would be Arakawa, Mori, and the five of us. That would mean the culprit is one of those people. I don’t want to suspect my own brigade members or turn them over to the police.”

She sounded awfully solemn.

I see. She’s worried that one of us was the killer. I hadn’t even considered that possibility. Asahina was out of the question and Nagato would have done a better job. As for Koizumi… Now that I think about it, Koizumi had been the closest one to Tamaru. He’d mentioned being a relative. That would make him much more relevant than complete strangers like the rest of us.

“No.”

I poked myself in the head.

Koizumi wasn’t an idiot. He wouldn’t purposely commit such borderline acts in this kind of situation. I doubt that he would be crazy enough to commit a murder just because we happened to be in a closed circle.

Haruhi’s the only crazy person we need around here.

Arakawa the butler was standing erect in front of Keiichi’s room on the third floor.

“I contacted the police and was instructed not to allow anyone inside.”

He bowed respectfully. The doorway was still open since we’d broken down the door, and we could see Keiichi’s toes through the space under Arakawa’s arms.

“When will the police get here?”

Arakawa responded politely to Haruhi’s question. “It depends on when the storm passes. According to the forecast, the weather will have improved by tomorrow afternoon, so I suppose they will arrive sometime in that vicinity.”

“Hmm.”

Haruhi kept glancing into the room. “I have a few questions.”

“What would you like to know?”

“Did Keiichi and Yutaka not get along?”

Arakawa shifted slightly from his perfect butler posture.

“To be honest, I do not know. For I have only been working here for the past week.”

“The past week?” Haruhi and I asked.

Arakawa slowly nodded. “That would be correct. I am, in fact, an actual butler, though I was merely hired to be a part-time, temporary butler. Our contract was for a brief two weeks during this summer.”

“So it was just for this villa? You weren’t previously employed by Keiichi?”

“That would be correct.”

Arakawa the butler was only serving as Keiichi’s butler while they were on this island. That opens up some possibilities.

It appeared that Haruhi had the same question I did.

“Does the same go for Mori? Was she also a temporarily hired maid?”

“It is just as you say. She was hired at the same time.”

That’s rather bold. Keiichi hired a butler and maid solely for this summer vacation. I have a feeling that wasn’t the best way to spend his money. Still, a butler and maid, huh…

A minuscule doubt was tugging at the edge of my mind and on the verge of falling off. I scooped it back up. And then I took a careful look at Arakawa’s face. All I could see was an old gentleman who was the definition of sincere. That was probably the correct judgment call, but still…?

I kept my mouth shut and smothered that doubt. I’ll have to toss this question to that guy when I see him later.

“I see. So there can be permanent and temporary servants. That information should be very helpful.”

Helpful for what? Haruhi nodded as though she’d just figured something out.

“There’s nothing for us to do here if we can’t go in the room. Kyon, let’s move on.”

She took my arm again and stomped off.

“Where are we going this time?”

“Outside. To check if the boat’s there.”

I can’t say I’m very inclined to walk through the middle of a hurricane with Haruhi.

“You see, I only believe what I see with my own eyes. Information that’s passed around through hearsay tends to be distorted. Understood? Kyon. It’s critical to obtain information from a primary source. Information from secondary sources that have gone through other hands cannot be trusted.”

Yeah, I suppose that’s a reasonable view, but you’ll end up unable to trust anything outside your own little world.

While I considered the usefulness of information media, Haruhi dragged me to the first floor, where we ran into Sonoh Mori.

“Are you going outside?” Mori asked Haruhi and me.

Haruhi responded, “Yep. We’re going to check if the boat is there.”

“I don’t believe it is.”

“Why?”

Mori smiled thinly before answering.

“It was last night. Master Yutaka appeared to be in a hurry as he headed for the entrance.”

Haruhi and I exchanged glances.

“So you’re saying that Yutaka took the boat and left the island?”

Mori continued smiling thinly as her lips moved.

“I only happened to pass him in the hallway and never actually saw Master Yutaka go outside. However, that was the last time I saw Master Yutaka.”

“What time was it?” asked Haruhi.

“I believe it was around one AM.”

We would have been inebriated and sound asleep at the time.

Was this confirmation that the suit-clad Keiichi had collapsed on the floor around the same time?

We opened the door, to be pelted by raindrops. Once we managed to squeeze past the door, which barely budged because of the gale force winds, Haruhi and I were completely soaked within a matter of seconds. Guess I should have just worn my swimsuit.

The gray cloudy sky looming over our heads with no end in sight reminded me of being in closed space. I guess I’m just not very fond of the concept of a monochrome world.

“Let’s go.”

Haruhi gallantly advanced through the rain with her hair and T-shirt sticking to her body because of it. I had no choice but to follow. Haruhi’s hand was still gripped around my wrist.

We would probably be launched into the air by this wind if we had wings. Helpless against the pouring rain, we made our way until we could see the wharf. There was the possibility of falling off the cliff if we weren’t careful. Even I was starting to feel the danger in this situation. I didn’t want to fall by myself so I grabbed Haruhi’s wrist in return. I figured that I’d have a higher chance of surviving a fall if I was with her.

We finally reached the top of the stairs.

“Can you see, Kyon?”

Haruhi’s words were almost carried away by the wind. I nodded in response.

“Yeah.”

---

---

The wharf was practically submerged as giant wave after giant wave crashed against the bank.

“The boat’s gone. If it wasn’t washed away, somebody took it and left.”

Our only means of getting off this island. I looked across the sea but the fancy cruiser was nowhere to be seen.

Golly gee.

And so, we were now stranded on this remote island.

We returned to the villa at the same snail’s pace. By the time we made it inside the door, we were both completely wet.

“Please use these.”

Mori had apparently been waiting thoughtfully as she handed us towels before continuing in a reserved voice.

“Did you find anything?”

“It was just like you said.”

Haruhi had a disappointed look on her face as she dried her black hair.

“The cruiser was gone. We don’t know when it disappeared, though.”

Mori continued to smile like the glow of a firefly. Not sure if that was just how she naturally looked. If she was upset by the death of Keiichi Tamaru, it was hidden underneath her calm and professional demeanor. Though I suppose this would be the normal reaction from a temporarily hired maid.

As we apologized to Mori for dripping water all over the hallway, Haruhi and I returned to our respective rooms for a change of clothes.

“Come to my room when you’re finished,” Haruhi said on our way up the stairs.

“It’s better to stay together in these situations. I’ll worry if I don’t have my eyes on everyone. Besides, on the off chance that…”

Haruhi shut her mouth as she was about to say something. Somehow, I had a feeling that I knew what she was going to say, so I didn’t say anything.

We reached the second floor to find Koizumi standing in the hallway.

“We appreciate you going out in this weather.”

Koizumi had his usual smile on his face as he nodded in our direction. We were in front of Haruhi’s room.

“What are you doing?”

Koizumi’s smile grew strained as he shrugged in response to Haruhi’s question.

“I came to Suzumiya’s room to discuss what we would do next, but Nagato wouldn’t let me in.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t have the slightest idea.”

Haruhi pounded on the door.

“Yuki, it’s me. Open the door.”

After a brief moment of silence, we heard Nagato’s voice through the door.

“I was told not to open the door for anyone.”

It would seem that Asahina was still unconscious. Haruhi fiddled with the towel draped around her neck.

“It’s okay now. Yuki, open up.”

“That would require me to violate the order to not open the door for anyone.”

Haruhi looked at me with her jaw dropped before turning back to the door.

“Okay, Yuki. When I said anyone, I meant anyone besides us. Kyon, Koizumi, and I don’t count. We’re all in the SOS Brigade together, right?”

“That was never mentioned. I have interpreted the order to mean that I should not open the door for anybody at all.”

Nagato’s soft voice sounded like a priestess reading an oracle to a scribe.

“Hey, Nagato.”

I couldn’t put up with this any longer so I cut in.

“Haruhi’s order has been rescinded. Or here, I’ll override her order. Just open the door. Please.”

Nagato spent a few seconds thinking on the other side of the wooden door. Then there was a click as the door unlocked and slowly opened.

“…”

Nagato’s eyes passed over the area above us before she silently retreated into the room.

“Geez! Yuki, you need to be more flexible. You should be able to understand what I mean.”

Haruhi told Koizumi to wait for her to get changed before entering the room. I was also dying for some dry clothes. I’ll back off for now.

“See ya, Koizumi.”

As I walked away, I had a sudden thought.

Was that whole exchange supposed to be Nagato’s idea of a joke? If that were the case, it was a pretty lame attempt at wordplay and not very funny.

Give me a break, Nagato. Your face and expression never change so I can only assume that you’re always serious. You could at least smile when you’re telling a joke. You could even smile for no reason the way Koizumi does. I guarantee you’ll look better that way.

Except that now isn’t the time to be smiling.

I took off my wet clothes and also changed my underwear before going back out into the hallway to find that Koizumi was no longer outside. I went to Haruhi’s room and knocked on the door.

“It’s me.”

The door was opened by Koizumi. I stepped inside and shut the door behind me.

“So it seems that the cruiser was gone.”

Koizumi was leaning against the wall.

Haruhi sat cross-legged on the bed. Even Haruhi couldn’t find any joy in the current situation as she looked up sullenly with a listless expression on her face.

“It wasn’t there, right, Kyon?”

“Yeah,” I said.

Koizumi spoke next.

“It appears that somebody took it and escaped. No, there’s no point in being ambiguous. The one who escaped was Yutaka.”

“How do you know?” I asked.

“Nobody else could have done it,” Koizumi answered coolly.

“Nobody else was invited to this island and the only guest missing from the manor is Yutaka. It doesn’t matter how you look at it. He must have stolen the boat and made a run for it.”

Koizumi continued in a smooth voice.

“In other words, Yutaka was the culprit. He probably escaped while it was still dark.”

Based on the fact that there had been no signs of anyone sleeping in Yutaka’s bed and Mori’s testimony.

Haruhi informed Koizumi of the previous conversation.

“As impressive as always, Suzumiya. You’ve already heard from her.”

Koizumi engaged in his ass-kissing while I snorted for no real reason.

“Yutaka appeared to be in a hurry as though he was frightened of something. That would match the testimony from the last witness to see him. I also checked with Arakawa.”

Even so, heading out to sea in the middle of the night during a hurricane would practically be suicide, wouldn’t it?

“Something may have happened which created the need to escape in a hurry. Such as the need to flee the scene of a murder.”

“Does Yutaka know how to operate a cruiser?”

“I was unable to verify that information, but we can draw our own conclusion from the end result. Since the boat is gone.”

“Hold it right there!”

Haruhi raised her hand for the right to speak.

“What about the door to Keiichi’s room? Who locked it? Was that also Yutaka’s work?”

“Not necessarily,” Koizumi gently refuted her. “As Arakawa said, Keiichi possessed both the key to the room and the spare. Further investigation revealed that both keys were within the room.”

“Someone could have made a duplicate.”

I tossed that idea into the fray. Koizumi shook his head.

“This was Yutaka’s first visit to the manor. I doubt he would have had the time to make a duplicate.”

Koizumi spread his arms in a sign of defeat.

A hush fell over the room as the clashing sounds of strong winds and pouring rain faded into the background.

Haruhi and I waited in silence, unable to find anything to say, until it was broken by Koizumi.

“However, there would be a slight discrepancy if Yutaka committed the crime last night.”

“What do you mean?” asked Haruhi.

“When I touched Keiichi earlier, his skin was still warm. As though he had still been alive a short while ago.”

Koizumi suddenly smiled. And then he turned to the reticent specter who stood next to Asahina like an attendant.

“Nagato, what was Keiichi’s body temperature when we found him?”

“Ninety-seven point thirty-four degrees.”

Nagato responded without missing a beat.

Hold on, Nagato. How do you know that without ever touching him? And you answered instantly, as though you had been expecting the question… but I didn’t say any of that out loud.

The one person who might have questioned the prior exchange was Haruhi, but she must have been too busy thinking since she didn’t notice anything wrong.

“That’s practically normal body temperature. When was the crime committed then?”

“The body temperature of a human being after death drops around a couple degrees every hour. We can use this information to estimate that Keiichi died less than an hour before we found him.”

“Wait, Koizumi.”

I couldn’t hold myself back this time.

“Didn’t Yutaka run off while it was still night?”

“Yes, that’s what I said.”

“But the time of death was within an hour of finding the body?”

“That’s how the numbers worked out.”

I pressed my hand against my forehead.

“So Yutaka left the villa in the middle of the night during a hurricane and hid himself somewhere before returning in the morning to stab Keiichi and escape on the boat?”

“No, that would be incorrect.”

He easily dodged that one.

“Even if we allow for a margin of error on the estimated time of death, we still have to assume that it happened around an hour before we found the body. However, we were already awake and in the dining hall by that time. But we didn’t see any sign of Yutaka or even hear a single sound. Even with a hurricane outside, that would be unnatural.”

“What does that mean?” Haruhi said in a sullen voice.

Her arms were crossed as she glared at Koizumi and me. You’re not going to learn anything by glaring at me. If you want answers, tell the smiling boy next to me.

Koizumi continued in a light tone as though we were talking about the weather.

“This wasn’t a sinister murder. It was merely a tragic accident.”

“You don’t look too upset about it.”

“There is no doubt that Yutaka stabbed Keiichi. Or else there wouldn’t be a reason for Yutaka to escape.”

Well, that makes sense.

“I do not know the motive or circumstances involved, but Yutaka attacked Keiichi with a knife. He probably had it hidden behind his back as he came from the front. Keiichi had no time to brace himself so he was probably unable to resist at all when he was stabbed.”

He sounds like he saw the whole thing happen.

“However, the tip of the knife had yet to reach his heart. I’m not sure it had even touched his skin. The knife was thrust into the notepad in Keiichi’s chest pocket, meaning that the notepad was the only casualty.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

Haruhi’s brow creased as she spoke.

“Then how did Keiichi die? Someone else killed him?”

“Nobody killed him. There was no killer in this case. Keiichi ended up that way purely by accident.”

“What about Yutaka? Why did he run away?”

“Because he believed that he had killed Keiichi.”

Koizumi answered calmly as he raised his index finger. Does he think he’s one of those famous detectives?

“Allow me to explain my thinking. The sequence of events went as follows: Last night, Yutaka went to Keiichi’s room with murderous intent and stabbed Keiichi with the knife. However, the knife was lodged in the notepad and didn’t deliver a fatal wound.”

I have no idea what he’s getting at, but I’ll just listen for now.

“However, this is when it got complicated. Keiichi believed that he had been stabbed. He still would have felt the force of the knife hitting the notepad. Furthermore, we can assume that he suffered a psychological shock at the sight of a knife sticking out of his own chest.”

I was beginning to understand where Koizumi was going with this. Come on, now. No way.

“That misconception led to Keiichi fainting. When collapsing, he would have either fallen sideways or backwards.”

Koizumi paused to take a breath.

“Upon witnessing Keiichi’s collapse, Yutaka believed that he had killed him. What followed was simple. He could only escape. This wasn’t a premeditated murder. Rather, he had merely used the knife in a heated moment of rage. So he stole the cruiser, despite it being nighttime in the middle of a storm.”

“Huh? But then…”

Haruhi spoke up before Koizumi interrupted her.

“Please allow me to continue my explanation. The actions taken by the unconscious Keiichi afterwards. He remained unconscious until this morning. We were wondering why he hadn’t woken up so we came to knock on the door to his room.”

So he was still alive at that time…?

“The knocking on the door woke up Keiichi and he stumbled to the door. However, he must have been in a daze, considering how hard it was for him to get up in the morning. He was probably unable to think clearly. He was approaching the door half-asleep when he finally remembered.”

“Remembered what?” Haruhi asked. Koizumi smiled at her.

“That his brother had tried to kill him. And once he recalled the sight of Yutaka with a knife in his hands, Keiichi promptly locked the door.”

I couldn’t hold myself back so I interjected.

“Don’t tell me that’s supposed to explain the whole sealed room deal.”

“I’m afraid so. After being unconscious for so long, Keiichi had lost sense of time. He believed that Yutaka had returned. We were probably only a second or two late. The instant I grabbed the doorknob from the outside, it was locked from the inside.”

“The killer wouldn’t knock on the door if he came to finish him off.”

“Keiichi’s mind was still hazy so he made a poor spur-of-the-moment judgment since he wasn’t thinking clearly.”

That’s some pretty arbitrary reasoning.

“And so, Keiichi backed away from the door after locking it. His instincts must have told him that he was in danger. That was when tragedy struck.”

Koizumi shook his head the way a person would when telling a tragedy.

“Keiichi tripped over his feet and fell to the floor. Like this.”

Koizumi bent his body as though he were falling forward.

“As a result, the knife stuck in the notepad near his chest was pushed into his body by the force of the handle hitting the floor and the blade pierced his heart, leaving him dead…”

Koizumi looked at Haruhi and me with our mouths wide open like idiots before he continued in a firm voice.

“That is what really happened.”

What was that?

Keiichi died for such a stupid reason? How could everything happen so conveniently? The whole knife perfectly missing then not missing is one thing, but Yutaka should have realized if he’d killed Keiichi or not.

I prepared my rebuttal.

“Ah!” Haruhi suddenly shouted, which made me jump. Where’d that come from?

“Koizumi, but…” Haruhi said before freezing all of a sudden. Her face was filled with shock. Why was she shocked? Was there a part of Koizumi’s story she couldn’t accept?

Haruhi’s eyes drifted over toward me. When her eyes met mine, she quickly looked away and turned back toward Koizumi before deciding against it and looking up at the ceiling for some odd reason.

“Eh… Never mind. I’m sure that’s what happened. Mmm. How should I put it?”

After muttering incomprehensibly for a while, she fell silent.

Asahina was still asleep, while Nagato stared blankly at Koizumi.

For now, the meeting was adjourned. We returned to our individual rooms. According to Koizumi, the police would be coming once the storm calmed down so we should have our belongings packed up by that time.

After killing some time doing nothing in particular, I had come up with a number of questions so I headed to a certain room.

“What is the matter?”

Koizumi looked up from where he was folding his clothes and smiled at me.

“We need to talk.”

There was one reason I had come to Koizumi’s room.

“I can’t accept it.”

That’s right. Koizumi’s deduction hadn’t explained everything. There were gaping holes.

“If we go by your explanation, the corpse should have been found facedown. But Keiichi was lying faceup. How do you explain that?”

Koizumi stood up from where he’d been sitting on his bed and turned to face me.

“There is a simple reason for that. The deduction I revealed to everyone was a false explanation.”

I didn’t show any visible reaction.

“Figures. The only one who would have eaten up that story was Asahina and she wasn’t even conscious. I could just ask Nagato to tell me everything, but that’d feel like cheating so I’d rather not. Tell me what you were really thinking.”

Koizumi’s handsome face broke into a smile as he chuckled in a low voice that grated on my ears.

“Then I should tell you that the explanation I previously gave was true up to a point. However, the last part was different.”

I kept my mouth shut.

“Keiichi approached the door with the knife stuck in his chest… Everything up to that point was true. So was the locking of the door by reflex. That was when the story diverged.”

Koizumi motioned for me to sit down in a chair, but I ignored him.

“It appears that you’ve realized the truth. I must admit that I underestimated you.”

“Just keep talking.”

Koizumi shrugged.

“We rammed into the door and destroyed it. Or to be specific, myself, you, and Arakawa. And then the door was opened. Our momentum carried us inside.”

I kept quiet as I motioned for him to keep going.

“You should already know the end result. Keiichi was standing right next to the door when it burst open and hit the front of his body. And the handle of the knife.”

I tried to picture that scene in my mind.

“And consequently, the knife was driven into Keiichi’s chest and led to his demise.”

Koizumi sat back down on the bed and looked up at me provocatively.

“In other words, the culprits were…”

Koizumi smiled as he whispered to me, “Myself, you, and Arakawa.”

I looked down at Koizumi. If I’d had a mirror, I could have seen the chilling look on my face. Koizumi didn’t seem to care as he continued talking.

“Suzumiya also realized this truth, the way you did. That’s why she stopped herself when she was about to tell us. She didn’t accuse us of any wrongdoing. She may have wanted to protect her good friends.”

Koizumi had a solemn look on his face. But I still couldn’t accept what he was saying. My neocortex hadn’t deteriorated to the point where I would be tricked by his second fake deduction.

“Hmph.”

I snorted and glared at Koizumi.

“Sorry, but I don’t trust you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your goal may have been to sell the second explanation with your tricky deduction, but you’ll have to try harder if you want to fool me.”

Didn’t I sound pretty cool just now? I’ll keep going.

“Just think about the fundamental problem here. As in focus on the murder itself. Got it? There is no way that something like that could have happened under such convenient circumstances.”

Now it was Koizumi’s turn to silently motion me on.

“I don’t know if the hurricane was a coincidence or Haruhi’s doing, but it doesn’t really matter in this case. The problem would be that we’ve got a dead body on our hands as a result.”

I paused to lick my lips.

“You would probably claim that the whole thing happened because Haruhi wished for it. However, despite what she says, Haruhi does not actually wish for anyone to die. That should be obvious if you’ve watched her. Which means that this whole incident wasn’t caused by Haruhi. And, are you listening? It wasn’t a coincidence that we were here when it happened.”

“Oh,” said Koizumi. “So what does that mean?”

“The true culprit behind this incident… or actually this trip, the SOS Brigade summer camp, would be you. Am I wrong?”

Koizumi’s smiling face froze for a few seconds as he was caught off guard. However—

A chuckling sound came from Koizumi’s throat.

“You’ve got me. How did you know?”

As Koizumi said that, he looked at me with eyes that were the same as when we were in the literary club room.

I guess my brain tissue wasn’t gray for no reason. I continued, feeling somewhat relieved. “Back when you asked Nagato for the body temperature of the corpse.”

“What about that?”

“You used that temperature to estimate the time of death or whatever.”

“Indeed, I did.”

“Nagato can be very useful. As you should know, she can pretty much tell us anything. You should have asked Nagato for the estimated time of death instead of the body temperature. No, it wouldn’t be an estimate. She could probably tell you the exact time of death now to the exact second.”

“I see.”

“If you had asked for the time of death, Nagato would have answered that he wasn’t dead. Also, you never referred to Tamaru’s body as a corpse.”

“I was trying to be fair.”

“There’s still more. I’m actually an attentive person, though it may not seem that way. The interior side of the door to Keiichi’s room. According to your explanation, the door hit the handle of the knife with a fair amount of force. Enough to drive a knife into a human body. If that much force had been involved, there should have been some kind of indentation on the door. But there wasn’t. The door looked brand-new, without a scratch.”

“What splendid powers of observation.”

“And one more thing. It concerns Arakawa and Mori. The story that they hadn’t even been here for a week yet. You said they were hired a week ago and that’s when they came to this island, right?”

“That’s right. Is there something odd about that?”

“There is. There definitely is. Your behavior was odd. Remember the first day we were here. What did you say when Arakawa and Mori came to pick us up when we got off the ferry?”

“Well, what did I say?”

“ ‘It’s been quite some time.’ Those were your words. Why would you say that? You said that this was your first time on this island. So this should have been the first time you ever met them. Why would you greet Arakawa and Mori as though you were already acquainted with them? Shouldn’t that be impossible?”

Koizumi chuckled.

I took his laughter to be an open confession. All the tension left my body as I finally understood the whole picture, and Koizumi began to talk.

“That’s right. This whole affair was a setup. A grand act. Though I didn’t expect you to realize it.”

“Don’t underestimate me.”

“Excuse me. However, I must admit that I was surprised. I had intended to reveal the truth at a later time, but I didn’t expect to be caught so soon.”

“Which means that Tamaru, Mori, and everyone else were all in on it? They’re probably members of that ‘Agency’ thing, right?”

“That is correct. Pretty good acting for a bunch of amateurs, don’t you think?”

The knife in the chest was a trick one with a retractable blade, the red bloodstain was actually paint, Keiichi was only pretending to be dead, of course, and the missing Yutaka had merely moved the cruiser to the other side of the island.

Koizumi revealed the truth in an easy manner.

“Why did you come up with this plan?”

“To ease Suzumiya’s boredom. And to lessen our burden.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m pretty sure that I’ve already told you this. Basically, we were trying to provide Suzumiya with entertainment to prevent her from getting any strange ideas. For the time being, Suzumiya is focused on the current turn of events, is she not?”

“Except that Haruhi thinks we’re the killers. Is that a good idea?”

After the presumed murder, Haruhi had been unusually quiet. She’d appeared to be deep in thought. Creepy as hell.

“Then I’ll have to move up the schedule,” Koizumi said. “According to our plan, we would return by ferry to the harbor on the mainland to find the four of them, Keiichi Tamaru and Yutaka, along with Arakawa and Mori, greeting us with smiles—that was the ending we’d prepared. Naturally, we would hide anything concerning the ‘Agency’ and stick to the story that they’re my relatives.”

So you actually had a surprise party planned.

I sighed. I hope Haruhi has a good sense of humor. If she gets seriously pissed, you’ll have to deal with her. ’Cause I’ll be long gone.

Koizumi winked at me as he smiled.

“That would be quite the predicament. I should probably apologize to her soon then. I shall go with Tamaru and everyone else to bow our heads in apology. I’m sure he’s getting tired of playing a corpse.”

I kept my mouth shut as I looked out the window.

I wondered how Haruhi would react. Would she go into a mad rage about being tricked, or would she just smile and laugh it off? Either way, she’ll end up in a mental state that’s easier to understand than the one she’s in now.

Koizumi smiled wryly as he continued, “I had people ready to play the roles of detective and forensic expert, but it appears that those preparations will go to waste. In any case, I didn’t expect such an uneventful ending. The original agenda included a search of the mansion as well as gathering evidence from the scene of the crime… It didn’t work out too well.”

That just shows that you didn’t think this through enough.

As I looked up at the clouds, I wondered how clear the skies would be in a few hours.

In the end, Koizumi wasn’t stripped of the title of vice brigade chief. The hurricane quickly disappeared and we took the ferry back under a bright, blue sky. Haruhi was in a good mood that lasted the entire trip up until we parted ways in front of the station. It’s a good thing that Haruhi knows how to take a joke.

In return on the ferry trip back, Koizumi had to buy box lunches and canned juice for everybody. I felt that he’d gotten off pretty lightly.

Nagato, who probably knew what was going on from the beginning, showed no reaction. Asahina woke up to yell, “That was so mean!” and pout in an adorable manner, but once Koizumi and the Tamaru brothers along with the two servants bowed their heads in apology, she quickly said, “Ah, it’s fine. Please don’t worry about it!” I figured I should include that little episode in here.

Incidentally, Haruhi had made the following request when we were all lined up to take a picture on the deck of the ferry during the trip back to the mainland.

“I’ll be counting on you for our winter camp, Koizumi. Come up with a better scenario this time. We’ll be going to a mountain retreat. And there has to be a blizzard. You better provide an appropriately designed manor this time or I’ll be mad. Yep. I can’t wait!”

“Well… What to do?”

Koizumi turned to me for salvation, looking like a rookie German officer who’d received a direct order from the Führer himself to capture the Supreme Allied Commander with a single squad on the European Western Front during the waning years of World War II.

I looked at Koizumi the way you would look at a defender who had just made a beautiful shot into his own goal, during what had been a tied championship match up to that point, before speaking insincerely.

“Beats me. I’m also looking forward to it, Koizumi.”

I assume that I can at least expect a solution that isn’t so weak that even I could figure it out.

And so Haruhi won’t be so bored with the ordinary to the point that she would cause extraordinary phenomena to happen.