CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 3
December twentieth.
On the third morning after the world had gone insane, I woke from my dreamless sleep to get out of bed, once again feeling like I had a dozen 30 mm–caliber bullets in my gut. Shamisen fell from his perch on my covers, where he had been sleeping, to land on the floor, where he stretched himself out. I toed his soft belly as I sighed.
My sister peeked in through the doorway. A look of disappointment appeared on her face once she saw that I was awake.
“Hey, did Shami say anything?”
She’d been pestering me with the same question since the night before last. The answer hadn’t changed.
“Nope.”
I was rubbing my toes in the cat’s soft fur, when my sister grabbed Shamisen and walked off while singing her “Time to Eat” song. Cats have it easy; their job is to eat, sleep, and groom themselves. I’d love to trade places with one for a day. Who knows? He might have an easy time helping me find what I’m looking for.
That’s right. I still haven’t found the keys. I don’t even know what the keys are. Program execute condition. I have to figure something out today, or the world will be stuck this way. Though I’m worried that something worse might happen. Deadline, huh… Why was a deadline set? Was this limited time frame the extent of Nagato’s abilities?
With plenty of questions and no answers, I headed for school. The overcast sky had people glancing up to check for flakes of snow. We might have a white Christmas this year. The weather would suggest that we’ll have accumulation if it snows. I hadn’t been paying attention to how much snow we’d gotten the past few years, but this year’s winter was more than cold enough for snow. Haruhi would be happier than a kid in a candy shop as she planned a winter event. If Haruhi were here.
I didn’t come across anything attention-grabbing as I climbed the hill to North High like always and reached the 1-5 classroom. I suppose that my lack of willpower had filtered down to my legs, as I barely sat down before the bell rang. Many of my classmates were absent, just like yesterday, but I was pleased to see that Taniguchi was back after one day of rest. He still had a flu mask on, but at least he was in class. I never knew that he was such a big fan of school.
And once again Asakura was sitting in the seat behind me with a knowing smile on her face.
“Good morning.”
Asakura delivered the same casual greeting she would offer any person. I merely nodded in response.
Okabe dashed through the door as the bell rang and homeroom began.
I’d managed to lose track of what day of the week it was. I wasn’t even sure if today’s class schedule was the one I remembered or not. I couldn’t tell if these were the classes we’d had a week ago. I probably wouldn’t have noticed if today’s schedule had been switched with yesterday’s. So was I the crazy one here? Haruhi Suzumiya never existed to begin with, Asakura was the talk of the class, Asahina was an upperclassman beyond my reach, and Nagato was the only member of the literary club.
This was how things were supposed to be, and the SOS Brigade was a product of my imagination.
Bleh, I’m starting to sound pessimistic.
First period was gym and another soccer match, during which I played the role of a defender who had no intention of guarding the goal. Second period was math, which I barely paid any attention to.
I was sprawled on my desk to cool off a bit.
“Yo, Kyon.”
That was Taniguchi. His flu mask was shifted below his chin as he flashed his usual foolish grin.
“Science is up next. The teacher’s gonna call on our room today. Give me some help.”
You’d be a fool to ask me for help. Shouldn’t you already know that we’re at the same academic level? I won’t know the answer if you don’t.
“Hey, Kunikida.”
I called out to the other member of their duo as he returned from the bathroom.
“Tell Taniguchi everything you know about sodium hydroxide. He’s particularly interested in knowing if it’s buddies with hydrochloric acid.”
“They should be friends, at the very least. Since you get a neutralization reaction when you mix them.”
Kunikida sauntered over and peered into Taniguchi’s open textbook.
“Oh, this problem. It’s easy. You calculate the answer in moles before converting to grams. You see…”
I felt pretty helpless as I watched a knowledgeable person solve the problem like it was nothing.
Taniguchi kept on nodding as Kunikida reached the climax of his calculations. Right then Taniguchi appeared to lose interest in learning the method. He grabbed a mechanical pencil from my desk and wrote the numbers and symbols, as dictated, into the margin of a page in his textbook.
Once that was finished, he flashed me a peculiar smirk.
“Kyon-boy, I heard from Kunikida during the soccer game. You made a lot of noise two days ago, huh?”
Weren’t you here two days ago?
“I was sleeping in the nurse’s office during lunch. And I was out of it all afternoon ’cause I felt like crap. I didn’t hear about it until today. You were raging about how Asakura wasn’t supposed to be here or something?”
“Pretty much.”
I flipped my hand to tell him to get lost, but Taniguchi merely smirked.
“I wish I could have seen it. We rarely get a chance to see you yelling and screaming.”
Kunikida appeared to remember something.
“Kyon seems to have recovered. Though you were still curt with Asakura. Did something happen between the two of you?”
Any attempt to explain would have them thinking I was cuckoo. So I kept my mouth shut. The logical course of action to take.
“That reminds me, you were saying something about Asakura replacing someone else. Did you find that person? Haruhi, was it? Who were you talking about anyway?”
Could you let it drop already? In my current state I’m jumping reflexively every time I hear that name. Even if it were just a parrot repeating her name, I would jump.
“Haruhi?”
Look, Taniguchi has his head tilted to one side. And then he spoke.
“This Haruhi couldn’t possibly be Haruhi Suzumiya, could it?”
That’s right. Haruhi Suzumiya…
The bones in my neck made a creaking sound as I slowly raised my head to look up at the dumb look on my classmate’s face.
“Hey, Taniguchi. What did you just say?”
“I said Suzumiya, y’know? The psycho girl from East Middle. I was in the same class as her all three years. Heh, I wonder what she’s up to now.—So how does Kyon know her? What’s that crap about Asakura replacing her?”
Everything went white for a moment—
“Damn bastard! You and your gray hairs!” I shouted as I jumped up. I must have given Taniguchi and Kunikida a scare, as they took a step back in unison.
“Don’t talk about my gray hairs. You’re the one with hairline issues. Besides, white hair runs in my family. From a long-term perspective, you’re the one who should be worried.”
Shut up. That’s none of your business. I grabbed Taniguchi by his shirt and pulled him so close that my nose almost stuck into his face.
“You know Haruhi!?”
“You bet I do. Hell, I won’t be able to forget about her after fifty years. If you’re from East Middle and you don’t know about her, you’d better get your head checked for amnesia.”
“Where?”
I was practically growling.
“Where is she? Where is Haruhi? Where’d she go?”
“What’s with you? Where, where, where. Are you supposed to be a broken record? Did you happen to catch a glimpse of Suzumiya somewhere and instantly fall for her? Give up on it. I’m trying to be nice here. She might be fine to look at, but that personality ruins everything. For instance…”
“She drew a bunch of white lines on the school grounds to create weird shapes that made no sense. I’m well aware of that incident. I’m not interested in her past misdeeds. Tell me where Haruhi is right now.”
“Kouyouen Academy,” Taniguchi said. As readily as if he’d been called on to give the atomic number for hydrogen.
“It’s the high school at the bottom of the hill near the station. Well, she was certainly smart. Ended up going to a prep school.”
Prep school?
“Kouyouen Academy is a good school? I thought it was a place for rich girls.”
Taniguchi gave me a condoling look.
“Kyon, I have no idea what they taught you in middle school, but that school’s been coed for a long time. And it’s famous in our prefecture for the percentage of graduates who go on to college. It’s pretty annoying when there’s a school like that in our district.”
Taniguchi went on to complain about always being compared to Kouyouen as I released my hold on him.
Why didn’t I realize it? I should shoot myself in the head.
I assumed that because Haruhi wasn’t at North High, she was no longer in this world. Obviously, I had less imagination than a cave cricket. Next summer when I go to the country to visit relatives, I should join one under the floor for a nice chat.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Taniguchi asked as he straightened his shirt. “Yeah, Kunikida, this guy’s still acting funny. Isn’t that a bad sign?”
Say whatever you want. I didn’t care at the time. I was more pissed at a certain someone than Taniguchi, bashing away, or Kunikida, nodding solemnly.
What an incredible case of hard luck. If someone from East Middle had sat near me, if Taniguchi had been in the classroom during lunch two days ago, it would have been a lot easier for me to find someone who knew Haruhi. Did someone set this up? Show yourself, freak. Let me sock you once. But I’m willing to wait until later. I’m done asking questions. Which means that it’s time to take action.
“Where are you going? Kyon? The bathroom?”
I turned as I skipped toward the door to reply to Kunikida.
“I’m leaving early.”
As soon as possible.
“Without taking your bag?”
It’ll get in the way.
“Kunikida, if Okabe asks, tell him that I’m on the verge of dying after coming down with bubonic plague, dysentery, and typhoid fever. Oh, and Taniguchi.”
I expressed my heartfelt gratitude to the lovable classmate with his mouth wide open.
“Thanks.”
“Y-yeah…?”
I turned away from Taniguchi, spinning his finger around his ear, as I raced out of the classroom. A minute later I was flying out of the school building.
It was difficult to rush down the slope at a high speed. I was so charged up that I ran with everything I had, to the point where, my heart aside, my legs and lungs were objecting to the abuse. Now that I stopped to think about it, I could have waited for third period to end and still be in time. Kouyouen Academy was probably on a half-day schedule by this point in the year, but I didn’t need to arrive until the final bell rang. It was only an hour-long stroll from North High.
I didn’t realize my failure until I had finished descending the hill that served as my daily mandatory hiking course and the private high school along a private railway was within sight. I took the silence inside the campus to mean that they were still in class. I checked my watch. Their school couldn’t be much different from ours, so it was probably third period. Which means I still had over an hour before the gates would open. I had no choice but to wait empty-handed in this frigid air.
“Or should I break in…”
That’s what Haruhi would have done and she would have been able to pull it off smoothly, but unfortunately I didn’t have enough confidence to do the same, so I moseyed over to the school gate before making a U-turn. There was a tough-looking security guard standing in front of the closed gate. That’s a private school for you. They know how to spend money.
I could have climbed over the fence, but it was pretty tall, with barbed wire strung across the top, so I’d be better off waiting quietly. It’d be all over if I forced my way in and got caught. I really didn’t want a game over after making it this far. Unlike Haruhi, I knew when to err on the side of caution.
And so I waited for almost two hours.
I heard the sound of a familiar bell and after a bit students began pouring out of the school gates.
I see. It was just like Taniguchi said. This place was a coed school now. The girls still wore the same black blazers, but the boys mixed in were wearing a more traditional school uniform as they hurried on their way home. It was the opposite of North High, where the boys wore blazers and the girls wore sailor uniforms. Though I had a feeling that there were more girls than boys in the crowd…
“Well, how about that?”
There were a few familiar faces among the boys. They were from class 1-9. I thought they’d all vanished, but they’d actually ended up in this school. It may have been pure coincidence, but I didn’t see anybody from my middle school. The people I knew didn’t show any signs of recognizing me as they gave me suspicious glances before looking away. They were living in a different history. They might even have been living a happier life than when they were students at North High, since they never had to climb this hill.
I continued to wait. There was a fifty percent chance of running into her here. On the off chance that she had joined a club of some kind or was just lounging around inside, I’d have to play scarecrow until she was finished. Please. Start heading home. And appear before me.
What if there was a different SOS Brigade at Kouyouen Academy, with members to replace me and the others…
That thought made my organs churn. She’d have no more business with Asahina, Nagato, Koizumi, and me. That would reduce me from a minor character to a complete outsider. Anything but that, seriously. Who do I have to pray to? Christ, Buddha, Muhammad, Mani, Zoroaster, Lovecraft, anyone will do. I’m willing to believe any myth or folk legend if it removes this anxiety. I’m willing to join one of those shady cults if that’s what it takes. A drowning person will grasp at any straw, even if it leads to his sinking in a swamp. I was finally able to understand that sentiment.
I was consumed by irritation, impatience, and gloom for the next ten minutes or so.
“Whew…”
I wasn’t entirely sure of the reason behind that sigh. Why would I express myself in such a clear fashion?
There she was.
A face I wouldn’t forget for the rest of this lifetime was mixed in with the crowd of black blazers and school uniforms shooting out of the gate.
Her hair was long. Down to her waist, as long as it had been on the first day of school when she paralyzed the entire classroom with her unexpected introduction. After a brief moment of bemused staring, I counted on my fingers to check what day of the week it was. Today wasn’t the day to wear her hair straight. I would guess that she wasn’t changing hairstyles in this world.
The Kouyouen Academy students were passing by on my left and right as they shot me annoyed looks. I wonder what they thought of this boy from another school standing still in the middle of the path. Not that I really cared. I didn’t have time to care.
I remained frozen in place as I watched the blazer-clad girl approach.
Haruhi Suzumiya.
Finally—I found you.
I couldn’t help smiling. Haruhi wasn’t the only person I’d found.
The student walking next to Haruhi while engaged in conversation was none other than Itsuki Koizumi, with that smiling face I couldn’t stand. I’d managed to net an unexpected bonus.
Were they close enough in this world to go home from school together? If so, Haruhi didn’t seem very happy about it, as she appeared to be in the same state as when she had first entered high school, according to my memory. She occasionally turned to give a short response before her head swiveled back to glare at the asphalt.
This was how she used to be. Before she came up with the idea of starting the SOS Brigade, when she roamed the school like an irritated martial artist searching for a strong opponent. It’s been so long. This was how Haruhi was back then. Bored with ordinary everyday life and desperate to find something more without realizing that she could create her own fun.
No, I can reminisce later. The two of them were getting closer. They hadn’t noticed me yet.
It embarrasses me to say that I couldn’t keep my heartbeat from racing. If a doctor had listened to my heart, he’d have heard a punkish two-beat that would have made him rip the stethoscope from his ears. I was sweating in this cold air. I hoped I was only imagining that my knees were trembling. I couldn’t be that much of a coward.
—Here they came. Haruhi and Koizumi were right before me.
“Hey!”
I managed to make my voice work.
Haruhi looked up and met my eyes.
Her legs, clad in black socks, came to a halt.
“What?” She shot me a look as cold as the frost in a freezer. Her eyes looked me over before she turned away. “What do you want? And who are you anyway? There’s no reason to deal with strange men calling out to me. If you want to pick up girls, try someone else. I’m not in the mood.”
I had been expecting this reaction, so there wasn’t much of a shock. This Haruhi had never met me before.
Koizumi was also standing there as he gave me a neutral look. His face suggested that he’d never seen me before, so we couldn’t possibly be acquainted.
I spoke to Koizumi.
“I suppose this would be our first meeting.”
“So it would seem. Who might you be?”
“Are you still considered a transfer student?”
“I transferred here in spring… why do you ask?”
“Have you ever heard of an organization known as the Agency, by chance?”
“Agency… you say? Is that supposed to be a name?”
The smile on his face, inoffensive and inane, was the one I knew well. However, his eyes were wary as he watched me. Just like with Asahina. He didn’t know me.
“Haruhi.”
Haruhi’s face twitched as she glared at me with her wide black eyes.
“Who gave you permission to address me by name? What’s wrong with you? I don’t recall requesting stalkers. Move, get out of my way.”
“Suzumiya.”
“You’re not allowed to use my last name either. Besides, how do you know my name? Did you go to East Middle? That uniform’s from North High, right? Why are you here?”
Haruhi turned away with a humph.
“Don’t bother, Koizumi. Just ignore him. There’s no point in wasting time on such a rude jerk. He’s just another moron. Let’s go.”
Why were Haruhi and Koizumi walking home from school together? Did Koizumi take over my role in this world? That thought raced through my mind, but there was something else I needed to be concerned about right now.
“Hold on.”
I grabbed Haruhi by the shoulder as she tried to walk around me.
“Let me go!”
Haruhi flung my arm off. Her face was filled with pure rage. But that wouldn’t be enough for me to let her go without putting up a fight. My trip here would be for nothing.
“You don’t know when to give up!”
Haruhi suddenly crouched to deliver an admirable low kick in elegant form. I felt a sharp pain in my ankle and almost collapsed. I had to restrain myself from writhing around in pain. I managed to stay standing as my mind and body cried out in pain.
“Tell me one thing.”
I had no choice but to muster my last bit of courage. If this didn’t work, I had no chance. My last hope—the question I was about to ask.
“Do you remember the Tanabata from three years ago?”
Haruhi froze in mid-step as she was about to walk away. Her back, covered by her long black hair, was turned to me as I continued speaking.
“On that day, you sneaked into your middle school to draw a bunch of white lines on the school grounds to make a picture, right?”
“What about it?”
Haruhi turned back to me with a pissed-off look on her face.
“Everybody knows about that. What’s your point?”
I chose my words carefully before speaking rapidly.
“You weren’t the only one who sneaked into school that night. You were with a guy who was carrying Asahina… a girl on his back, and you had him draw the pictograph for you. It was a message to Hikoboshi and Orihime. The meaning was ‘I am here’ or something—”
I didn’t get a chance to continue.
Haruhi’s right hand shot out to grab my necktie and pull as hard as she could. Her fearsome strength pulled me so hard that I went flying forward and my forehead smacked right into Haruhi’s hard head.
“That hurt!”
I was about to scowl at her and lodge a complaint when I noticed her glaring back at me. She was right up in my face, staring straight at me with a sharp glint in her eyes. Feels like it’s been forever since I’ve gotten to see Haruhi’s livid face.
The girl on the verge of snapping asked me in a puzzled voice, “How do you know about that? Who’d you hear it from? No, I never told anybody about what happened when—”
Haruhi abruptly stopped talking as her expression changed and she focused on my uniform.
“North High… it couldn’t be…. Say, what’s your name?”
Her hold on me was making it hard to breathe. Stupid girl. But I didn’t have time right now to feel nostalgic about the same old Haruhi power. My name. Am I supposed to give my real name, which she hasn’t used a single time, or the stupid nickname that’s managed to stick?
No, neither would mean anything to her right now. She wouldn’t recognize either one of them. In that case, there was only one name for me to use.
“John Smith.”
I tried to stay composed as I said it, but I mean, she was practically holding me up in midair. The pain was becoming so unbearable that I was really hoping she’d loosen her grip… but the next thing I knew, the strong pressure on my chest was gone.
“… John Smith?”
Haruhi loosened her grip on my necktie as she stood with a dumbfounded look on her face and her arm frozen in midair. Now, this is a really rare sight. Haruhi Suzumiya had her mouth opened in surprise as though her soul had just been taken by the reaper.
“You? You mean to say that you’re that John? The weird high school student… who helped me out… at East Middle…”
Haruhi suddenly staggered back. Her long jet-black hair flew across her face as she swayed before Koizumi grabbed her arm to steady her.
Helped you out? I’m pretty sure that I basically did all the work—but I had no intention of wasting time on arguing that point. I had finally found a lead. The one person in this messed-up world who remembered something the way I did.
So it really is you, huh?
The one and only Haruhi Suzumiya.
If this Haruhi had met me on Tanabata three years earlier, this current present would have to be connected to that point. This wasn’t a total reset. Asahina and I had traveled back in time three years and returned to the present with Nagato’s assistance. That part of history remained. I still didn’t know when the world had begun to change, but this world had been the world I knew three years earlier.
What could have happened to leave me the only sane person in this world?
Still, I’d have to wait till later to think about it.
I enjoyed the unusual sight of a speechless Haruhi as I continued to speak.
“I’d like to give you a thorough explanation. Do you have time right now? It’s a pretty long story…”
The three of us were walking along when Haruhi spoke.
“I met John Smith twice. Afterward, while I was on my way home, he called to me from behind. What was it that he said… oh, right! Yeah, ‘Cheers to saving the world by overloading it with fun with John Smith!’ was what he shouted. What was that supposed to mean?”
I never did that. Once I made sure that Haruhi was out of sight, I woke Asahina up and we hurried off to Nagato’s apartment. Was there another John Smith? Still, why did that John Smith have to pick those particular words?
It was almost like he was trying to give Haruhi an unnecessary hint.
“Was it the same guy you met at East Middle?”
“He was far away. And it was dark. I don’t remember either of their faces. But in terms of voice and demeanor, yeah, he was similar to you. Plus, he was wearing a North High uniform.”
This was getting complicated. I thought I’d found a link, but was it still off?
In any case, we went into a nearby café for the moment. It would have been more appropriate to use the usual café in front of the station where the SOS Brigade always met up, but it was too far away.
“The you I know goes to North High and said the following on the first day of school…”
I introduced myself with my real name, not the silly moniker “John Smith,” and began my explanation before our order had even arrived and managed to finish my comprehensive digest by the time our café au lait had cooled down enough to drink in one gulp. The SOS Brigade with its alien, time traveler, and esper. The literary club room.
I made sure to give an extensively thorough explanation of the trip through time on Tanabata, since that seemed to be the most critical part.
I glossed over the stuff about Haruhi’s being a god, a time warp, or a girl who had the potential for autoevolution, since I wasn’t sure about which one was true. I simply said that Haruhi had this odd latent power, an irregular ability to change the world.
Still, it appeared to have been enough to grab her attention, as she sat in deep thought before finally opening her mouth.
“How were you able to read the alien language I came up with? Though it’s true that I meant to say that I am here so show yourselves already.”
“There was someone to translate for me.”
“Was it the alien?”
“An alien-made human contact–purpose humanoid interface… to be exact, I think.”
I told them everything I knew about Yuki Nagato. I first thought her to be a bonus thrown in with the literary club, but it turned out that the impassive bookworm had a surprising secret. I also told them about Asahina, the life-size dress-up doll/mascot/PR machine/clubroom maid who was actually from the future. I’d traveled through time with her to that Tanabata night three years ago. Nagato had taken care of our return.
“So the John I met then was you, huh? Yep, I’m willing to believe that. I see. Time travel, huh…?”
Haruhi stared at me as though she wanted to see what a time traveler looked like before nodding.
She was being awfully reasonable about this. I hadn’t expected her to believe me so readily. I mean, back when the two of us did magical mystery searches by ourselves, you didn’t believe a word I said when we met up in the usual café.
“That version must have been really stupid. I believe you.”
Haruhi leaned forward.
“Because it’s a lot more fun that way!” she added.
The familiar sight of a smile blossoming on her face. The first smile I’d ever seen from Haruhi. The hundred-watt smile she’d displayed during English class when she came up with the idea of starting the SOS Brigade.
“Besides, I checked out all the students at North High afterward. I even staked the place out. But I never saw anyone like John. I was a little upset with myself for not paying more attention to what he looked like. Right, you weren’t at North High three years ago…”
There were two versions of me at the time. One was living an aimless middle-school life. The other was frozen in time with Asahina in Nagato’s guest room.
I figured I might as well tell them about the guy here while I was at it.
“Koizumi over there was an esper. You were a pretty big help. Though you also caused a lot of trouble.”
“If what you say is true, I would have to be shocked.”
Koizumi was holding his cup elegantly as he gave me a skeptical look.
I turned back to Haruhi.
“Why didn’t you go to North High?”
“There wasn’t any particular reason. I was a little interested in the place after what happened on Tanabata, but John would have graduated by the time I got there. Besides, I wasn’t able to find him. And my middle-school homeroom teacher kept bugging me to go to Kouyouen because of the higher percentage of college-bound graduates. I was getting sick of it so I agreed. Any high school would have worked, as far as I was concerned.”
I switched my attention to Koizumi.
“What about you? Why did you choose to transfer to this school?”
“My reason would be the same as Suzumiya’s. I chose a school that was appropriate for my academic level. I don’t mean to speak ill of North High, but Kouyouen Academy has superior facilities.”
Since North High doesn’t even have air-conditioning.
Haruhi sighed.
“The SOS Brigade, huh…? That sounds really fun.”
All thanks to you.
“If we assume that your story is true,” Koizumi interjected with a smug face that attempted to suppress a shrewd smile, “there can be only two possible explanations, given the information you’ve told us.”
That really sounded like Koizumi.
“The first would be that you’ve moved to a parallel world. From your original world to this one. The second explanation would be that the entire world, aside from you, has somehow changed.”
I already considered that.
“However, both explanations leave unanswered questions. In the case of the former, the mystery would be the whereabouts of the other version of you, while in the case of the latter, it wouldn’t make sense for you to be the only person left out. It might make sense if you happened to possess some kind of magical power.”
Nope. I can assure you of that. I got nothing.
Koizumi shrugged with an irritatingly stylish flair.
“If you have moved to a parallel world, it would be necessary for you to devise a plan for returning to your original world. If the world has been changed, you must find a method to return this world to the way it was. In either case, the fastest way to solve this problem would be to find the person who made it happen. After all, that person would most likely know how to return everything to normal.”
Who would there be besides Haruhi?
“I wouldn’t know. Invaders from another world may be using the Earth as the stage for their little game. It’s entirely possible that an evil-looking enemy character will make an appearance.”
It was obvious that he wasn’t serious about what he was saying. Koizumi was talking in a clearly insolent tone. However, Haruhi must not have noticed, since her eyes were shining, blazing even.
“I want to meet these Nagato and Asahina people. That’s right. I also want to check out that clubroom. I might be able to remember something there if I was the one who changed the world. Right, John? You’re fine with the idea, right?”
Well, I guess. I have no reason to object. If she was actually the one responsible for this phenomenon—that’s what I wanted to believe—then she might be able to learn something. Nagato or Asahina might remember me as well. If the alien and time traveler came back to their senses, we’d be able to deal with this current situation. And was that John supposed to be me?
“Kyon, was it? Isn’t this one a lot better? At least John sounds like a human name. It’s found everywhere in Western countries. Who came up with that name? Kyon is such a lame nickname. You must have a lot of people looking down on you.”
The name came from an aunt, and my sister spread it around. Still, why does Haruhi’s abuse feel so comforting? It hasn’t been that long.
“Well, let’s get going.”
Haruhi paid no heed to the Darjeeling tea she had barely touched as she grabbed her Kouyouen Academy schoolbag.
I figured I might as well ask.
“Now? Go where?”
Haruhi came to a stop and looked down at me before exclaiming in a haughty voice.
“North High, obviously!”
And after that quick announcement, Haruhi skipped out of the café at a power-walking speed. She was so psyched that she could barely wait for the automatic doors to slide open.
Typical Haruhi behavior, which was incredibly reassuring.
You’re really something, Haruhi. That’s how you always were. Taking action two seconds after you think of something. That’s how you’re supposed to be. Every time, you would show up at the clubroom after practically kicking the door in to tell us about another decision without warning. Nagato would be the only one who wasn’t surprised…
“Shoot.”
I glanced at my watch. Class was long over. I’d forgotten about the promise I made at Nagato’s apartment last night. I said that I’d go to the clubroom today, except I’m already late. I could picture Nagato sitting dejectedly as she waited all alone for a knock on the door. Hold on. I’ll be right there.
Koizumi scooped up the bill on the table.
“You realize that I’ll only be paying for Suzumiya and myself?”
If you pay for me, I’ll tell you something extra.
“Oh? What might that be?”
I regurgitated the whole spiel he’d given me. An abridged version. The theory about Haruhi’s being a god, which involved the anthropic principle. His eagerness to anticipate Haruhi’s actions. The charade on the remote island.
I let Koizumi mull over that for a bit before I asked another question.
“Was Haruhi responsible, or is there someone else who’s capable of creating this situation? Which do you think is correct?”
“Perhaps, if the Suzumiya you speak of truly possesses godlike powers, she may be responsible.”
Since I couldn’t think of anyone else. Still, that would mean that Haruhi kept Koizumi by her side while ignoring me, Nagato, and Asahina. This may sound conceited, but I really doubted that Haruhi was more attached to Koizumi than to the rest of us. Or was this another one of Haruhi’s unconscious moves?
“I suppose I should feel honored about being selected.”
Koizumi chuckled.
“After all, I… yes. I’m attracted to Suzumiya.”
“… Are you sane?”
“I find her to be a charming person.”
I’ve heard that line before.
Koizumi continued in a serious voice. “However, Suzumiya is only interested in my classification. She only spoke to me because I was a transfer student. And since I’m an ordinary transfer student, she’s begun to lose interest in me. What was your classification in the SOS Brigade, I believe it was called? If you didn’t have one, that would mean that Suzumiya was truly fond of you. Assuming that your Suzumiya has the same personality as the one I know.”
There’s nothing on my record to indicate that I belong in an institute. Besides the useless ability to get dragged into weird stuff without realizing it.
Haruhi stuck her head through the door with a dazzling smile on her face as she shouted.
“What are you doing? Hurry it up!”
After waiting for Koizumi to pay the bill for our drinks, I took the first step out of the warm and comfortable café and into the cold outdoors.
There was a taxi stopped in front of the café. It seemed that Haruhi had flagged it down. She must have been in a real hurry to get to North High. I should mention that it wasn’t the familiar black taxi that Koizumi and I occasionally rode in. It was a normal yellow cab.
“North High. Step on it!”
The words were out of Haruhi’s mouth before she even sat down in the car. I followed suit, and Koizumi was the last to climb into the backseat. The middle-aged driver didn’t show any signs of being upset about a little girl’s ordering him around. He smiled wryly and slowly stepped on the gas pedal.
“There’s nothing wrong with going to North High,” I said from my spot next to Haruhi, “but you’re going to stand out in those clothes. A student from a different school needs some kind of reason to get inside. There could be a problem if a teacher spots you.”
Haruhi was wearing a black blazer, while Koizumi was in his traditional uniform. Class had been shortened that day, so there wouldn’t be many students left that afternoon. Still, these two were going to stick out like sore thumbs when mixed in with the sailor uniforms and navy blue blazers.
“You have a point…”
Haruhi spent three seconds in thought.
“John, did you have gym class today? No, it doesn’t matter. Did you leave your gym uniform in the classroom?”
We happened to have soccer during first period today.
“So you have your gym uniform and tracksuit?”
Yeah, but why does it matter?
Haruhi had a satisfied smile on her face.
“I’ll tell you my plan. John, Koizumi, huddle up.”
Did it really matter if the taxi driver heard us? Either way, we huddled up as Haruhi whispered her so-called plan.
“Sounds like something you’d do,” I replied as Koizumi’s brow creased with a look of discomfort.
I got out of the cab and headed for my classroom to prepare for Haruhi’s plan for infiltrating North High.
Incidentally, the taxi fare was picked up by Koizumi. It seemed that he served as Haruhi’s wallet in this world. That’s pretty rough when you consider how it isn’t necessary punishment. Is this guy seriously romantically interested in Haruhi? I’d love to ask what he sees in her, but I do recall Taniguchi’s mentioning that she was popular in middle school, despite her bizarre behavior. Well, it’s entirely possible that Haruhi would have shot down a whole parade of potential suitors at North High if she hadn’t started the SOS Brigade. In that case, the SOS Brigade served as an effective layer of defense. Her role as the leader of our bizarre club would convince most guys with common sense to avoid her the way a batter would avoid a wild throw. I’d much rather take a walk than strike out or get hit by a pitch.
By the time I finished with that line of thought, I had reached the top floor.
There weren’t many people in the building, but at the same time it wasn’t entirely empty. I could see a few people here and there who had nothing to do at home or no club activities to deal with. Fortunately, there wasn’t anyone in class 1-5, which reminded me that I’d be in trouble if homeroom teacher Okabe found me. If he found out that I had come crawling back after leaving early without permission, he’d surely have some questions for me.
Someone, I don’t know who, had helped tidy up my desk. It might have been Asakura. The pencils and notebooks I’d left out had been neatly placed inside the desk, while my bag was hanging from the side. The items I sought were on the other side.
“She comes up with some crazy ideas.”
An expression of admiration for Haruhi as I grabbed my gym clothes. This large bag held the short-sleeved shirt, shorts, and tracksuit I’d used during first period. The plan that Haruhi had told us in the taxi on the way here was to “disguise them as North High students,” a very logical course of action. “Koizumi can wear your gym uniform, while I wear the tracksuit. Then we can just jog straight in. They’ll think that we’re members of a sports team that just returned from a run. Yep, perfect.”
So basically we’re using camouflage, the way insects do. This was obviously a better idea than attacking a boy-girl couple on their way home from school to steal their uniforms.
“That would also have worked.”
Haruhi commented casually from the corner outside school where she was waiting. She took the bag of gym clothes from me.
“In fact, that would make it harder for them to pick us out. You should have told us about your excellent idea earlier.”
That’d be like committing highway robbery.
Haruhi loosened the cord on the bag and dumped the contents without a smidgen of self-restraint. Four articles of clothing plopped onto the asphalt.
“You washed them, right?”
About a week ago.
“By the way, Suzumiya,” Koizumi said.
He was looking at my muddy gym uniform the way a cornered Mongolian gerbil would look at a Mongolian tiger.
“Where do we change? I hope that there’s a walled-off space in the vicinity.”
“We can change here.”
Haruhi replied casually as she picked up the track pants.
“There aren’t any people walking by, though it’s pretty cold. Oh, don’t worry. I’ll turn around. You too, John. You can serve as a wall.”
What was that sidelong glance supposed to mean?
“I don’t mind if you want to watch.”
And with a mischievous grin she stepped into the track pants and pulled them up under her skirt.
“My legs shouldn’t be that long.”
She knelt down to fold up the legs of the pants before standing back up and unfastening her skirt. Then she dropped the skirt without any hesitation, removed her black jacket, and began unbuttoning her blouse, which was when I looked away.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m wearing a T-shirt underneath.”
I caught the blouse being thrown on top of the jacket and skirt out of the corner of my eye and turned back. Haruhi struck a triumphant pose in a plain white T-shirt and my track pants, with her long hair blowing in the wind. As I watched her, I suddenly recalled a certain sight that I kind of wanted to see again.
“Hey, you up for going ponytail?”
Haruhi gave me a blank look.
“Why?”
No real reason. Just an issue of personal preference.
Haruhi snorted, though she didn’t seem to have a problem with the idea.
“It may look simple, but it’s actually difficult to do a ponytail correctly.”
As she talked, Haruhi reached into the pocket of the black jacket on the ground, pulled out a hair rubber band, and began deftly tying her long black hair behind her head.
“Well, I look more like an athlete this way. Is that good enough?”
Perfect. Your charm has gone up thirty-six percent in my eyes.
“Stupid.”
Haruhi always pretends to look angry when she doesn’t know how to react. I’ve learned well.
A short time later Koizumi finished changing. He must be pretty cold wearing a T-shirt and shorts in this weather. And it must feel especially odd to wear someone else’s gym uniform. Koizumi had goose bumps popping up as he spoke.
“Suzumiya, you aren’t going to wear the tracksuit jacket? In that case, may I borrow it?”
Haruhi’s arms were also bare, but she had a smile that appeared to blow the cold away.
“That won’t work. I’m using it to hide our bags. It’d be pretty lame if we were caught because of our bags after going through the trouble to disguise ourselves.”
The Kouyouen Academy book bag was certainly different in appearance from the North High one in a subtle way. Haruhi wrapped the jacket around their bags and ordered me to carry them. Their discarded uniforms went into my gym bag. I was also ordered to carry that.
“Okay then,” Haruhi said.
She placed both hands on her hips.
“We’re going to run like we just returned from a marathon. Got it!?”
Sure, I guess. What about me, though? Why would a member of a sports team be out running in his school uniform and carrying all this stuff?
“We’ll say that you’re the manager. Hey, fight! One, two, fight! One, two…”
I exchanged a glance with Koizumi before shrugging and taking off after the racing ponytail.
This Koizumi and I were both well aware that it was utterly impossible to stop Haruhi once she took off racing, whether literally or figuratively. Which meant that we had no choice but to follow after her.
Right? Isn’t that how it always is?
For better or worse, the North High school gate was always open, unlike at the private school at the bottom of the hill. There wasn’t a security guard in sight. We passed through without any problems as the short staged marathon with Haruhi shouting came to an end and we reached the goal line, the entrance to the building. I had never thought that inviting Haruhi and Koizumi to my school would be such a pain. Until three days ago, you both walked through this doorway on a regular basis.
“Pretty shabby-looking school. Weren’t these walls prefabricated? Are prefectural schools really poor? It’s a good thing I didn’t apply for this school.”
I listened to her reasonable observation as I turned away from the shoe locker. Once I finished changing to my indoor shoes, I began looking around for a pair or two of guest slippers that might happen to be lying around, but Haruhi had no qualms about opening a nearby locker and withdrawing indoor shoes belonging to some unknown North High student.
Her behavior was classic Haruhi, which might have been the reason I had a creepy smile on my face without realizing it.
“What are you smiling about? You look really dumb. I didn’t do anything funny.”
I dropped the smile. She had a point. Haruhi’s craziness was one thing, but this wasn’t the time to be smiling.
I threw Taniguchi’s shoes to Koizumi, since I figured they’d be about the right size.
“I appreciate it.”
Koizumi sure didn’t sound very appreciative as he put the shoes on. I stuffed his discarded sneakers into Taniguchi’s shoe locker.
I readjusted the bundled jacket with their bags under my arm.
“I’ll show you the way. Follow me.”
“Hold on.”
I was about to step forward when Haruhi stopped me. Her fingers were entwined in the tip of her ponytail, unconsciously, I guess.
“The alien known as Nagato is in the literary club?”
At this point she’d be the high school student formerly known to be an alien. Still, she was probably waiting all alone for me to show up.
“That Nagato is unlikely to run away from us. We should secure the time traveler, Asahina, first. Where is she?”
She probably went home already… but then I remembered. I guess I still have some inspiration left in me. I didn’t need to jog my memory much. The Asahina who said she didn’t know me had been carrying a calligraphy set, right? And she had belonged to the calligraphy club before she was abducted into the SOS Brigade. In that case, she should still be there at this very moment.
“Got it. This way.”
Sorry, Nagato. Hold on a little longer. We have to drop by the calligraphy club first. I prayed for there to be a calligraphy club meeting today as I gradually began to pick up the pace.
Haruhi was the one who opened the door to the clubroom. She didn’t understand concepts like modesty or knocking on the door and I didn’t have the time to instruct her on how to be polite. Koizumi was standing out in the hallway with an uncomfortable look on his face.
There were three girls in the calligraphy club room, and they appeared to be practicing for New Year’s.
“Which one is Asahina?”
The conspicuously smaller member of the three wide-eyed girls answered in an unsure voice. “… Yes? What do you want…?”
Asahina was seated in a chair with a brush in her hand, which was frozen in midair.
I looked over Haruhi’s shoulder to check the room. I was relieved to find that Tsuruya wasn’t around. I guess she wasn’t in the calligraphy club?
Haruhi was whispering into my ear.
“That’s her? Is she really a second-year? She looks like she’s in middle school.”
“I would agree, but that’s her. She is most definitely Mikuru Asahina.”
Upon hearing that, Haruhi stomped over to tell lies to the petite angel who was frozen in place with brush in hand.
“I’m Suzumiya, head of the student council intelligence service. Mikuru Asahina, we have a few questions for you. We’ll need you to come with us for a moment.”
How can you say that with a straight face when you’re wearing a T-shirt and track pants?
Asahina was blinking rapidly as she spoke in an uneasy voice.
“Student council… intelligence service? What is that… I haven’t done anything…”
“Don’t worry. Don’t worry.”
Haruhi grabbed Asahina’s brush and placed it on the sheet of paper before grabbing her arm and pulling her up. The other members were either scared or shocked, since they didn’t say a word. We may have witnessed an epic battle involving different martial arts if Tsuruya had been around, but Haruhi secured her arm around Asahina and took her away without waiting for a response.
“Hmm… You’ve got a great body. Yep, plenty of character. I like you.”
Haruhi sounded pretty happy as she checked out the upperclassman from another school.
“Eep! Wah, um… ah!?”
Asahina’s eyes widened further when she noticed me waiting by the door. She was probably shocked to run into that sicko again. She also looked at Koizumi in surprise as he rubbed his hands together in the hallway to stay warm. Koizumi glanced at Asahina without any sign of recognition.
“I’m actually not a suspicious person. Honestly.”
You can’t pretend that you’re not involved after coming all this way in that getup, Koizumi.
Haruhi was holding on to the struggling Asahina like a mother holding back a child trying to run away from a trip to the dentist.
“Come on, John. Only that Nagato person is left. Take us to her.”
Don’t need you to tell me that.
We needed to make our way there before I got spotted by a sharp-eyed classmate or teacher who knew about my unauthorized escape.
To the third floor of the clubhouse, also known as the old shack, where we would find the SOS Brigade headquarters, officially known as the literary club room.
I knocked on the door before opening it this time.
“Yo, Nagato.”
A spectacled face looked up from the hardcover library book she was reading, which was on the table.
“Ah…”
Nagato sighed in relief when she saw me.
“Huh?”
Then her eyes grew wide upon seeing Haruhi walk in behind me.
“… Eh?”
Her jaw dropped when she saw Haruhi drag Asahina in.
“…”
By the time Koizumi walked through the door, she was speechless.
“Hello,” Haruhi said with a smile as she checked that everyone had entered the room before locking the door. Nagato and Asahina both reacted the same way, jumping in response to the click of the door.
“What is this?”
Asahina was almost in tears, just like before.
“Where are we? Why did you bring me here? Why are you l-locking the door? What are you…?”
Her practically identical reaction almost brought tears to my eyes. Ah, the memories.
“Be quiet.”
Just as before, Haruhi laid down the law as she looked around the room.
“Is the girl with glasses Nagato? Heya! I’m Haruhi Suzumiya! The guy in the gym uniform is Koizumi, and the little girl with a big chest is Asahina. And you know this guy, right? John Smith.”
“John Smith…?”
Nagato pushed her glasses up with a dubious look on her face as she gave me an incredulous glance. I shrugged and accepted the dumb nickname. There wasn’t much difference between Kyon and John.
“Hmm, so this is the place. The SOS Brigade, huh? Room’s pretty empty, but it’s nice. Plenty of space for bringing stuff in.”
Haruhi paced the entire length of the clubroom, like a cat checking out her new digs, as she peeked out the window and studied the contents of the bookshelves before she finally turned to me.
“So, what do we do now?”
You came all the way here without a plan? You really are Haruhi, huh?
“I’m all for making this clubroom our base, but the commute’s inconvenient. It’ll take time to come here after school’s over. Our school and North High don’t have much interaction. Right, why don’t we choose a time to meet up at the café in front of the station?”
Her sudden outburst wasn’t making any sense to the other people in this room, excluding me.
Nagato was frozen like a doll with a look of confusion on her face, Asahina was cowering while making strange motions, and Koizumi was opting for silence.
I was about to say whatever first came to mind when—
Beep.
Out of nowhere, the computer my hand was resting on made a sound. Nagato reflexively turned her head.
“Eep?”
I was barely able to notice Asahina’s legs giving out on her. The rest of my situational awareness was focused wholly on the computer.
The old CRT monitor flickered audibly as it slowly brightened. I could see the light reflected in Nagato’s glasses.
The hard drive began whirring, as though in response to the monitor—but it didn’t last long. This has happened before… No, I actually pressed the power button that time… I’ve been through an experience where the computer failed to boot up, but something still showed up on the monitor…
“Move over a sec.”
My body moved by itself. I pushed Haruhi aside as I circled around at full speed to the front of the monitor.
Words were silently appearing on the dark gray screen.
YUKI.N> By the time you read this message, I will no longer be myself.
… Yeah. That’s right, Nagato…
“Whoa? Nobody turned the power on. This is a real surprise.”
“It may have been set to a timer. Nevertheless, this is quite an ancient computer. It’s virtually an antique.”
I wasn’t listening to Haruhi’s and Koizumi’s conversation behind me. I couldn’t afford to miss a single letter, a single word. No time to blink. I could hear my heart tap dancing as I stared at the screen.
YUKI.N> If this message is on the screen, you, me, Haruhi Suzumiya, Mikuru Asahina, and Itsuki Koizumi must all be standing there.
The cursor scrolled along in a plain font at a speed that almost seemed to match my reading speed.
YUKI.N> Those are the keys. You have found the answer.
I didn’t come up with the answer. Haruhi was the one who came crashing in with Koizumi in tow. This Haruhi can also make herself useful… Still, Nagato, haven’t seen you in a few days.
I felt a little warm and fuzzy as I read the words on the monitor. I didn’t read them out loud, but in my heart I could hear every word in Nagato’s quiet voice. The cursor continued to scroll.
YUKI.N> This is an emergency escape program. If you wish to execute, press Enter. Otherwise, press any other key. Once the program is executed, you will be given a chance to correct space-time. However, success is not guaranteed. Neither is your safe return.
Emergency escape program. This. This computer.
YUKI.N> This program can only be executed a single time. Once it starts, it will be deleted. If you have chosen not to run the program, it will delete itself without executing. Ready?
That was it. The blinking cursor sat at the end of the line.
Enter key or any other key, huh?
I turned to find Haruhi peeking at the screen from behind me.
“What does this mean? Is there some kind of trick involved? John, were you just teasing me? Explain yourself.”
I ignored Haruhi, Koizumi, and Asahina. I didn’t have time to look at Haruhi with a ponytail or Koizumi in my gym uniform or Asahina, cute as always. My focus was on the computer and one single person in this room. I turned to the spectacled girl with a look of surprise on her face.
“Nagato, do you know anything about this?”
“… No.”
“You really don’t?”
“Why?”
I wanted to reply to her denial of any involvement by saying that she was the one who had typed this message… but that would only confuse this Nagato.
I reread the last part again.
A message left by Nagato. The Nagato I knew. I didn’t understand what an emergency escape program did exactly. The stuff about no guarantee was a little unnerving.
However, it was too late to start worrying about that stuff. Nagato had my full confidence. She still has my full confidence. She would never do anything that was a mistake. I mean, we’re talking about Yuki Nagato, the docile and soft-spoken alien-made organic humanoid interface who’s saved me from danger so many times. I would question my own head before I questioned her words.
“Hey, John. What’s wrong? You have a funny look on your face again.”
Even Haruhi’s voice sounded distant.
“Shut up for a second. I need to organize my thoughts.”
Time to think. Haruhi and Koizumi going to a different high school, an Asahina who wasn’t from the future, a Nagato who knew nothing at all. I once again realized that those weren’t the issues I should be concerned about.
Nagato had expressed herself on the monitor. There was no reason for me to doubt her message.
I stretched and took a deep breath.
Yes—
There was one thing I knew for sure. I wanted to get out of this world. I missed the SOS Brigade, the members of the SOS Brigade, who had become a part of my everyday life. The Haruhi, Asahina, Koizumi, and Nagato here weren’t the ones I knew. There would be no Agency or Data Overmind or visits from a grown-up Asahina. That’s just wrong.
It didn’t take very long for me to make up my mind.
I drew a crumpled-up piece of paper from my pocket.
“Sorry, Nagato. I’ll have to return this.”
Nagato’s pale fingers slowly stretched out to receive the blank application. She failed once before successfully grabbing hold. I released my grip and the application form began to quiver, despite the absence of any wind.
“I see…”
Even Nagato’s voice was quivering as her eyelashes concealed whatever emotion her eyes might hold.
“However,” I said in a rush, “I was already a resident of this room to begin with, quite frankly. There isn’t any need for me to join the literary club. After all—”
Haruhi, Koizumi, and Asahina were looking at me as though I had a few screws loose. Nagato’s face was hidden by her hair so I couldn’t tell. Doesn’t matter. Don’t worry, Nagato. No matter what happens next, I’ll be sure to come back to this clubroom.
“After all, I’m SOS Brigade member number one.”
Ready?
Okay. Bring it on.
I reached out with my finger and pressed the Enter key.
Immediately afterward—
“Whoa?”
I was hit by an intense spell of dizziness as I reached out for the table to steady myself. And then everything began spinning around me. My ears were ringing. I could hear the distant sound of somebody speaking. Growing darker. I’ve lost my sense of up and down. It felt like I was floating. Like a leaf caught up in the wind. Spinning round and round. The voices calling to me grew more distant. What are they saying? John? Kyon? I couldn’t tell. It sounded like Haruhi’s voice, but not quite. Dark. Was I falling? Where? Falling where?
My mind was a jumbled mess. Were my eyes open? I couldn’t see anything. I couldn’t hear anything now. It felt like I was drifting along. Where was my body? What about Haruhi? Everything’s distorted. Koizumi. Asahina. Where am I? Where am I going? Emergency escape program. Where will the escape lead me?
Nagato—
“Whoa!”
I cried out again as I practically shattered my knees. Then I noticed that I was standing up.
“What…?”
My surroundings were dark, but not completely dark. It was okay. I could still see.
I used the faint light from the window to check my location. This was a room of some sort and my hands were on a table. There was an old computer on the table…
“The literary club room.”
Where I had just been.
But Nagato wasn’t there. Haruhi, Asahina, and Koizumi had also disappeared. I was alone. And it was pitch-dark. The room had been illuminated by the setting sun a moment ago, and now it was suddenly the middle of the night. I looked out the window to a very small number of twinkling stars. Time must have zipped by.
The room didn’t look much different from before. Bookshelves, a table, and one ancient computer. That was when I realized. I hadn’t returned to the original world. None of the SOS Brigade stuff was around. No brigade chief desk or Asahina costume collection. Just an empty literary club room… but…
A drop of sweat from my forehead got into my eye. I used the sleeve of my blazer to wipe it away.
Something was wrong.
Why did something feel wrong? I knew where I was. This was certainly the literary club room. Taniguchi’s line suddenly came to mind: Are you supposed to be a broken record? Where? That wasn’t the question here. Yes. “Where” wasn’t the problem.
“This is…”
I suddenly realized why something felt wrong. As soon as I came to that realization, my body temperature shot up like a rocket, or that’s how it felt at least, but that wasn’t it. The temperature had been like this to begin with. This wasn’t a hallucination caused by a sudden spike in my body temperature.
I couldn’t take the heat anymore so I took my jacket off. Pores all over my body began releasing sweat. I removed my sweater and rolled up the sleeves of my shirt and the pent-up heat in the room was still too much for me.
“It’s hot,” I muttered.
“Almost like—”
Almost like it was the middle of summer.
Which meant there was one question I should be asking.
When was I?