Chapter 1 No Otherworlders Allowed in the Dungeon

“Souya, what will you have?”

Ahh, so that is all for you, huh? And on my dime, no less.

I asked for some light bites and left it up to the barkeep to decide what that meant. He brought out two thick slices of bacon and a bowl of pickled beans. It wasn’t bad, but the flavors were too simple. The bacon had only salt and fat from the meat, while the beans were nothing but sour. Meanwhile, Evetta got to work devouring the feast fit for a three-day celebration that had been laid out on the table in front of her, starting with the plates at the ends. She dug in with true gusto. Did all women in this dimension binge like this?

We focused on the meal for a while. I quickly tired of the beans but couldn’t bear to waste them; every once in a while, I’d take bite, get annoyed at the taste, then start all over again. I decided to work my mouth in other ways to make up for the lack of flavor.

“By the way, I ended up keeping that cat from yesterday,” I told her.

“Have you lost your mind?!” she exclaimed, appalled, a plate of sautéed greens in hand. “C-cats—cats have got those eyes that narrow into slits, those rough tongues, and tails that stand up straight on end. They steal away everyone who’s lost their soul!” She stayed her spoon.

“Are you scared of cats?” I asked.

“What?! I may not look it, but I was a pretty elite adventurer, I’ll have you know! You think I can’t handle a stinking cat?! Is that what you think?!” Tough talk for someone who looked so shaken up. She turned back to her food and gobbled it down before my eyes. Maybe she was stress-eating.

Oh, I forgot to leave lunch out for Her Highness. I guess I’ll send Machina a message to open up a bag of dried fish or something for her.

Just as the thought crossed my mind, an emergency alert flashed on my glasses. I covered my face with my hands so no one could hear me and whispered back, “What’s wrong?”

“Please return to the camp immediately. We’ve been attacked.”

Machina’s system went down right after the alert came through. It wasn’t clear what had happened. I considered using Evetta but then imagined the worst-case scenario and had her stay in the bar with my money.

Dark clouds obscured the sky as if mirroring my feelings exactly. The campsite lay five kilometers away from the city. I raced over as fast as I could, preserving some of my energy in case I had to fight upon arrival. My home coming into view, still small in the distance, I dropped down to the ground and brought a telescope to my eye.

It was a disaster. The tent had been blown away, the simple kitchen destroyed, and my camping goods were scattered all over the place. I couldn’t see anyone lying in wait. I moved in closer. My AK ready, I crouched as I walked to make sure the barrel didn’t veer from my line of sight. One by one, I eliminated all the camp’s blind spots, careful not to set off any traps. They probably didn’t have bombs here, but one hit with local poison and I was done for.

My breath almost devolved into hyperventilation, but I gritted my teeth and brought it under control. I found Machina beneath the tent sheets, and I turned her over, praying with all I had.

“……”

Aside from a few footprints on her torso, she seemed unharmed. That was a relief at least. “AIJ006 Machina Odd-Eye, activate,” I commanded.

“……Registered user’s voice pattern recognized. Lifting auto-lock mode; commencing system recovery. Activating, activating; unidentified device found. Unable to process with built-in system support. When using new tools, please first—”

“Force command: Switch to Isolla.” If the main system wouldn’t work, I had to try the backup.

“Understood; activating. System functioning at thirty percent capacity.” After a second of noise and flashing screens, my glasses came back online. I kept my commands simple so as not to overburden her.

“Order: Scan the area for pulses. Mark any living organisms with a red dot.”

“Activating pulse radar; scanning…… No pulses found.” The pulse radar worked within a one-hundred-meter radius. Now I could be sure there were no others waiting to ambush me. For the moment, I crossed that worry off the list.

“Order: Display bird’s-eye view of the area on my glasses. Make the radius two kilometers. Zoom in on anything approaching.”

“Understood. Cancelling autonomous drone sequence; activating display.”

I put the AK down and stood the machina unit back upright. As far as my amateur eyes could tell, there didn’t seem to be any damage to the aqueous brain or other functions. But this thing had started off half-broken. There was no telling what would send it plunging down the path of no return into darkness.

“Question: How long will it take to recover full functionality?”

“Unclear. The system is currently functioning at eighteen percent capacity and declining.”

Shit. Not good.

“Question: How long will it take to regain functionality after rebooting?”

“Unclear.”

“Question: What happened?”

“We fell under attack by a group of three men. I put a tracer on one of them.”

“Display his location.”

“Understood.” A map of the town marked with a red dot showed up on my glasses. On an unrelated note, I saw drag marks out of the corner of my eye. A cold chill ran down my spine.

“What did they take?” I asked.

“The weapons and medical supply containers.”

At that, I finally lost all words. Of all the things, they had to take my two lifelines. Both stolen containers had been locked. They must have assumed that meant they held valuable goods.

“Display the containers’ current location. You’re tracking them, right?”

“Capacity reduced to five percent. Rain approaching. Sending out return signal to all drones. Squad Member Souya, please find cover. Do not under any circumstances attempt a mission without suppo—” She cut out, and the system went down once again. My glasses also stopped working. A meter showing how long the unit would take to restart came up on Machina’s monitor, but it had dropped all the way to 0 percent and showed no signs of budging.

Rain started to fall. My thoughts ground to a halt. Human brains had this way of breaking down when too many things happened at once.

“……”

It felt like it took about five minutes for me to restart.

It’s not safe here—should I go somewhere else? Maybe find a place to stay in town? No, that’s even riskier. I guess I’ll drop by the Adventurers Guild and ask Evetta for help. But what if she’s not there? Wait, can I really trust her? Going into town is out—too dangerous. I can’t think straight.

I was at a total loss. Who knew it would feel this awful to find yourself all alone in another dimension? I started cleaning up the mess to calm my nerves and clear my head. Menial tasks like that were decent at changing your state of mind, though they weren’t much more than a temporary escape, of course.

And then.

“Right. Nothing came up on the scan, after all.” I found the cat’s corpse. She’d been stabbed in the stomach, vomited blood, and died. She should’ve just run. I bet she probably put up a brave fight. At least, I decided on that interpretation. No matter how annoying, everyone deserved to be glorified a little after they died.

I dug a hole some distance away from the campsite and buried her body there. Taking a tree branch I found lying around, I stuck it on top of the mound and wrote Her Greatness, Lady Mythlanica on it with a permanent marker. I brought my hands together. The warm rain soaked my back. I’d never really understood what you were supposed to think in this kind of situation. It wasn’t much more than formality, but what else was there? I’d shown my respects.

Next, I needed a diversion. Off came the glasses that didn’t suit me. I checked how many bullets I had left and found enough for three people, but any more and things would get iffy. All that running around town in my search for a god to follow had given me a pretty good handle on the layout. I knew exactly where to find the red dot I’d seen.

“Sorry. Machina, Isolla, I’m about to get a bit reckless.”

The brighter the busier parts of town that burst with activity and life shone, the heavier the silence and shadows that fell on its darker underside. That’s the kind of place the bastards who’d attacked my camp had chosen to hide in. Failed adventurers with crushed dreams ended up here. It also drew in half-assed idiots who’d never even tried to give that life a go. It wasn’t destitute enough to call a slum, but you never knew what went on behind closed doors.

Hiding was the wrong word. Evidently, those tools didn’t even have the good sense to take that step. I found them in a building built as a half-basement, with one staircase leading down to a cellar and a warehouse-type floor on top. Light poured out from the ventilation window on the side. The men were probably drinking it up, flush with cash from their latest payout. From their shitty singing and laughter, it sounded like those three had no other company inside.

An anger I hadn’t realized I’d been stifling threatened to explode. I knocked on the doors of the neighbors to either side of the building to regain my cool. A beastmaid and her child answered the one on the right. The lines of worry and doubt that came over her face relaxed with the gold piece I handed her.

“Sorry to disturb you. Things are going to get a little loud for a moment.”

“You do what you need to do, honey,” she answered.

An elderly woman lived in the house on the left. I gave her the same spiel about making noise, but she said she’d lost most of her hearing and wouldn’t mind. I pressed a gold piece into her hand to apologize for the inconvenience.

And now I am calm. I am undeniably, unmistakably collected.

I took yet another gold piece and chucked it in the building through the ventilation window. Without even waiting to hear it land, I ran down the stairs and rammed the door, busting it open with pure momentum. There was one guy on my right and two on my left. I shot a barrage of bullets out of the AK at the two to the left as I fell. Blood splattered all over the walls and floors. My ears rang as the gunshot ricocheted in the closed room.

I pulled out my Colt Government and busted a cap in the knee of my man on the right. He staggered but still went to unsheathe his sword, so I gave him a few new piercings in his elbow and palm. He screamed like an animal.

My gun still trained on them, I got back to my feet and held up a lantern they had in the cellar. It was a small space. I saw bottles of booze rolling around atop a bare-bones table, chairs, and chains and ropes hanging from the beams that crossed the low ceiling, but no other enemies.

“I’ve got a couple questions for you gents,” I told them.

“Pfft! Ba-ha-ha-ha!” One of the men broke out in laughter. Must’ve shot him in the wrong spot. Maybe I should send two or three bullets through his skull.

“Hey, you,” said one of the guys. I shined the lantern on his face. It looked somehow familiar. Then it clicked—it was the same dude whose jaw I’d crushed two days prior. Had he used some kind of magic? Was it that easy to heal a wound like that?

“Those foreign weapons are no joke. But, ya know, you really shouldn’t underestimate adventurers.”

“Huh?” I felt someone come up behind me, then a blow. It sent me flying to the side and slammed my shoulder into the wall. The impact knocked all the wind out of me.

You gotta be kidding.

One of the shitheads I’d shot held a broken chair in one hand. Was that what he’d used to hit me? Hold up, I’d just shot him with an assault rifle—how was he moving? What was going on?

In the midst of the confusion—

“See? This is what we’re working with.” A bright light wrapped around the hole in the guy’s palm and refilled the wound as if rewinding the damage. Someone slid the naked blade of a longsword out of its sheathe. I hadn’t seen enough to fully understand, but I’d gotten the point.

“Well, time to die.”

Oh, buzz off.

[4TH DAY]

Adventurers ran this town. To state the glaringly obvious, fights broke out here all the time. That’s just the kind of animals they were. Common bar brawls aside, they committed no shortage of thefts, muggings, murders, and scams, and got into intra-party fights to try to avoid divvying up the spoils of their exploits. The Guild had the unenviable job of mediating these disputes and cleaning up that garbage, or so Evetta told me. I then put my question to her, “So who handles arguments between adventurers and civilians?”

The answer was a pain in the ass to explain.

The Adventurers Guild in this city had been run under the auspices of the Kingdom of Remlia. It had broken away from the Central Adventurers’ Confederation after the current king had gained a certain level of fame as an adventurer himself.

Going independent in and of itself was not so unheard of. All the Confederation representatives who got sent over were money-grubbers. Plus, it took forever to travel in this world. Crossing the seas added an additional layer of danger. If the extra hands requested never made it to town, the local Guild members would get even more work dumped on their plates. If they collapsed under the pressure and fell behind on their work, active and would-be adventurers could run amok. Nothing beat governing yourself if you could hack it.

However, the Guild ran into a whole host of problems as soon as it had opened its newly independent doors. One of those pertained to how disputes between adventurers and non-adventurers should be solved. The king was a renowned adventurer. Everybody who was anybody knew that. If he tipped the scales of justice in favor of fellow adventurers, then subjects outside the profession would say, “Typical king of the adventurers. He’s playing favorites.” Conversely, if he found the adventurer to be in the wrong, he’d hear nothing but “The king has abandoned the way of the explorer!”

Nobody saw him as a king before an adventurer. Remlia ole Armaguest Rhasvah, legendary adventurer, came first. If the majority of his subjects had been farmers, popularity would’ve probably come second or third on the king’s list of priorities. However, adventurers were fighters. It was best to tread carefully around them, especially because there could be monsters among their ranks strong enough to take down an entire country alone.

Then you might ask, wouldn’t giving adventurers special treatment solve the issue? The answer would be no. While this was indeed an adventurer’s city, it could not function with them alone. It needed merchants to buy raw materials and put them on the market. It needed artisans to take those materials and fashion them into weapons. It needed chefs to fill stomachs, carpenters to build houses, farmers to grow the grains, and performers to provide entertainment and respite. The list could go on forever.

After much debate, in a move that sort of defeated the purpose of the whole break for independence, the king decided to defer that responsibility to outsiders. The Kingdom of Remlia belonged to the Central Continent’s Federation of Monarchs, and the king sent them a request for constables. Everyone hated constables almost by definition. They took that hatred gladly, even from the most monstrous adventurers. It’d follow that only the cream of the crop had what it took to do that job.

And I had just spent the entire night looking for one such kindly officer. Why? Because I had gotten into a squabble with some adventurers. However, I was about to keel over from exhaustion and my injuries.

Am I gonna die before stepping foot in the dungeon? If this were a game, I’d be losing before even starting the tutorial. Can’t say I saw that coming.

I haven’t lived up to my name at all. My namesake, the indestructible warship, would finally sink if it saw how pathetic I am. My sister hasn’t had much luck, either, given she was named after another destroyer known to squeeze the luck out of other ships. I’d love to find some sort of item that brings good luck and take it back with me.

But to do that, I’d have to survive and go in the dungeon.

I started moving once more, my legs chafing against each other with each step. A kid pointed at me, and his mom scolded him, saying, “You mustn’t stare.” Did I really look that bad?

I turned the corner and ran into a pair of elves who screamed at the sight of me. One of them, your classic, beautiful elf, carried a bow and wore an outfit that was basically underwear over her tall, lean figure. The other had a staff and was unusually petite for an elf. Her voluptuous breasts caught my attention through her loosely fitting robe. Both bore the trappings of adventurers.

“Sorry…to scare you. Could you please…tell me…where the constable pos— B-blegh—” I hacked up blood but managed to cover my mouth at the last second to avoid staining their clothes.

“Y-you’re hurt,” noticed the elf with the cane. Concerned, she took a step closer, but—

“Sis, don’t get involved!”

—the elf with the bow caught her hand and pulled her back. Yeah, good move. I would have done the same.

“At least let me give him some first-aid healing spell,” protested the first.

“This guy is definitely bad news! Just ignore him. Come on. Why the hell should we care about some random heim?”

The last thing I wanted was to beg a couple of ladies for sympathy, but I had no choice. They were my only hope. “I’ll repay…the favor. The constable post. Could you…tell me…where it is…please?”

“Go straight down this road and turn right at the bar; it’ll have a billboard with a hunting horn on it. The post should be right around there. Shall I call someone for help?” replied the kind, big-bosomed elf.

“It’s fine. Thank…you.” I tried to hand her a few gold pieces as thanks, realized they were covered in blood, and lay them on the cobblestones. “’Scuse me.”

I readjusted the grip I had on the chains. Slow as an ox, I started on my way again. The little moans didn’t even register anymore. I felt like I could break out in song. Cue the movie credits scrolling over my image. The only problem was that I hadn’t even started doing anything yet.

I found the bar and turned right. Luckily, the post was closer than I’d thought. Another fifty meters and I would’ve died. No joke, just dead. A carefree voice answered my knock on the steel door. Totally spent and relieved, my legs finally gave in. The door I leaned on opened, and I collapsed inside.

“Whoaaa!” a deep voice cried out. It came from a uniformed middle-aged man with a sword at his hip. His diamond-shaped hat made quite an impression.

“Are you the constable?”

“I am. Why?”

“Here.” I handed him the chains.

“What in the world?” he asked quizzically as he followed the line outside. Then he screamed. He’d found the trio of adventurers—I’d blasted open holes in them, snaked the chain through those and wrapped it around all three, broken their arms and legs, and rolled them up into a bundle. They weren’t dead yet, and I could still hear them moaning in pain. Thanks to this grotesque ball I had to drag behind me, everyone had run away before I could ask for directions. I had to walk straight through the night because of them.

“‘Don’t underestimate us,’ you said, right?” I grinned at the guy staring daggers at me. “Well, don’t underestimate me, you damn adventurer.”

Mic. Drop.

A weight lifted off my chest. And so, with a last refreshing rush of achievement, I perished.

Nope, still alive.

“……!”

“……”

“……! ……?!”

“……”

“……!”

“……!”

Sounds of two men and a woman talking came to me. They sounded both nearby and far away.

Ugh, I hate this. They remind me of my dead parents, who are long gone and nothing but ash now, but they sure do cling to my memory. Is this considered a curse?

“You shouldn’t be treating him like this!” screamed the woman. “How exactly is he at fault?!”

“Don’t go out of your way to take his side. Who do you think you and I are bound to protect and support?” retorted one of the men.

“Is separating the wheat from the chaff not part of our role as well?!”

“Just try it. Forget about the Guild; you’ll drag the king into this, too. Cool your head.”

“Now, now, you two. We can wait for him to wake up before we move on to discussing particulars,” noted the second man.

“Then……shall we get started?” I suggested, getting up from the simple cot where I lay. I saw Evetta, a young boy with small wings on his back, and the constable in the room.

“Souya!” exclaimed Evetta. “Are you all right?!” She rushed over and put her hands on the bars. I was fully locked up in a prison cell.

“O-ow!” My whole body hurt. Muscle and bone creaked as they ground against each other. And for some reason my skin felt hot, though not like a fever from a wound, but as if I’d been scorched by something external.

“You’ve got some luck, pal. If that elf who happened to pass by hadn’t worked her magic, you’d be one arm short by now,” said the constable.

Now that he mentioned it, I kind of remembered taking a longsword to the arm. Nervously, eagerly, I tested out all five fingers on my left hand. It hurt a little to move them, but my nerves and muscles seemed fine. That must’ve been some spell.

“The elf—what was her name?” I asked.

“Beats me. She didn’t give it. Oh, but she did have a huge rack.”

“Seriously?”

“Yep, like this! Or, like, this big!” shouted the constable as he gestured to replicate her cup size. The lady at his side with a slightly humbler set watched him coldly.

“Souya,” she said. “I’m glad you’re looking okay.”

“Sorry to worry you.”

“I think I’ve got the general idea, but could you tell us what happened?” Evetta leaned in closer. The bars she held squealed under her grip.

“Whoa there. Sorry, horned lady,” cut in the constable, “but that’s my job. I’ll allow you to stay, so let me ask the questions first.”

“……All right,” she acquiesced, but her intimidating expression never wavered. She looked cold but was actually a rather passionate person.

My man the constable pulled over a desk, got out some paper and a pen, and took a seat. “First, sonny, your name is ‘Souya of Japan,’ am I right?”

“Yes, sir.” The inked pen slid over the paper.

“You are suspected of inflicting bodily harm to three adventurers,” he continued.

“That’s right.” I’d passed out before I could explain anything. That’s what it must have looked like to him.

“Anything to say in your defense?”

“Some valuable goods were stolen from my camp. Those three adventurers are the ones who did it,” I explained. “Luckily enough, I found them, and while I sustained some injuries, I managed to detain them and deliver them here. The rest you already know.”

“And did you locate those stolen items?”

“No.” The containers never would’ve fit in that cramped cellar. There hadn’t been enough time to interrogate them, and I couldn’t have looked around the area long or I would have risked dealing with reinforcements.

“In that case, can you produce any witnesses who will attest to the fact you were robbed? Evidence will do just as well.”

“Oh…… No, I can’t.”

This is bad. Maybe once Machina reboots, I can— No, will people from here even believe anything that unexplainable gizmo has to say?

“We’ve inspected the adventurers’ residences but found no objects that looked in any way foreign. Now, that lot are not exactly what you’d call upstanding citizens, even if you were trying to be nice. They’ve got a bad reputation. Rumor has it that one of the merchants took them in as little tykes and has them doing shady work for him now. The thing is, you don’t have any proof. And without that, all we’ve got left is the absolute wreckage you made out of them. I’d have gladly looked the other way if you’d only slugged ’em once or twice, but that, well…you can’t really overlook that.”

Not even a moan reached my lips. I realized way too late that I’d made a rash move and regretted it.

“And I’ve got one more piece of bad news for ya, sonny.” Wait, what more can there be? “It’s got to do with your legal status.” The constable laid down his pen. “According to Central Continental law, noncompliant individuals and those who have not consecrated a covenant with a god qualify as criminals on that basis alone. We’re supposed to arrest them and bring them before the Church of St. Lillideas. As a side note, they condemn people to the death penalty or life as a human guinea pig nine-to-one.”

“Awha?!” What is this, a witch hunt?

“Personally, I wouldn’t want to hand a nice guy like you over to them. To get even more specific, I only took up this post ten days ago, and I’m not dyin’ to rush all the way over to the Central Continent so quick. We’re short-staffed, so I’d have to come straight back here. That’s too many months to spend on a boat.”

“Um, how long does it take one way?” I inquired after that part kindhearted, part self-interested speech.

“Six whole months.” Even if by some miracle I was found not guilty, it’d be checkmate for me.

I came to the wrong place for help. I need to run. Just gotta get my weapons…and, of course, they took them all.

“This is where I’d like to ask you two from the Guild for help. Is there any way you could make a special exception and just call him an adventurer for me? It can be temporary or whatever. If you could, he’d be out of my jurisdiction, and the boat trip would be out of my future.”

What a capable, lazy-ass dude. Kind of impressive.

“I second that request,” I added.

“Request denied.” The winged boy rejected me on the spot. The rest of his body looked too human for him to be a beastman, and I doubted he could fly with those tiny wings. They might as well have been there for decoration. I could’ve sworn he was just a kid, but it was even less wise to judge a book by its cover in this world.

“I am Saorse, Guildmaster of the Adventurers Guild in the Kingdom of Remlia,” he began. “Otherworlder, let’s get one thing straight. Nonconforming fools are unfit to receive divine protection from any of the Legion Gods. That is all. If you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.”

“Guildmaster! Please, there must be something you can do!” cried Evetta.

“Unhand me!” Evetta flung her arms around the Guildmaster, who had tried to bow out with as few words as possible. This almost looks like a charming brother-sister tussle, I thought, clearly trying to escape reality.

“Exactly how many gods, including the lowest ranked, do you think have rejected him? It’s unprecedented!! To make matters worse, he then decides to roll up the men he brawled with into a ball and parade it all through town. No god will ever accept him once they catch wind of his behavior!” Yeah, he had a point. I’d partly brought this on myself.

“Then at least give us one more day! We’ll plead our cases before the gods in town once more.”

“Sorry to interrupt, but I would feel bad making you do that again, Evetta.”

“Souya, hush your mouth!” What are you, my mother?

I watched as Evetta continued to plead my case to the Guildmaster in vain for a while. His face half-resigned, the constable mumbled, “Guess I better book that ship.”

That’s too bad. Looks like my adventure has come to an end, ran the monologue in my mind. Man, I wish I could’ve explored the dungeon. I know I’ve said this a million times, but I haven’t even done anything yet. The only possibly feasible option I have left is to knock the officer out (sorry, dude) and make a run for it. But no, what would happen if I went on the lam?

Just then—

“I’ve heard enough. We have but a simple matter before us,” the voice of heaven itself rang out. A shadow slipped through the prison window bars and jumped down to the floor.

“Huh?” It was the gray cat.

“You fool! You dug that grave far too deep. It took me half a day to crawl my way out.”

“Well, you were dead.” I was sure I’d checked her pulse. Her blood had coagulated, and her pupils hadn’t moved.

“Heh-heh-heh. A low-grade death is gone in a few hours.” Damn, this world has got some weird cats. “Souya, it appears you are in search of a god with whom to consecrate a covenant.”

“Exactly, Lady Mythlanica. Could you point me in the direction of someone who could help, by any chance?”

“I am offering to make that pact with you, dimwit.”

“Huh?” Wait, is this a god? No waaay. Like I’m gonna believe there’s a god that does nothing but eat, sleep, and stick her back leg up in the air before going to town licking it.

“Did you just say Mythlanica?”

“Uh, yes. Is she famous or something?” I asked, answering the Guildmaster’s question with a question.

“Long ago, three kingdoms ruled over the Right Continent,” he explained. “The three nations thrived with powerful weapons we have since lost the means to replicate, along with advanced civilizations. That is, until a single woman laid waste to them and all the prosperity they so proudly enjoyed. Her name was Mythlanica, she who attained her place among the gods through wicked deeds and artifice.”

“D’aw,” Lady Mythlanica purred, proudly standing tall.

“I was under the impression she had expired after all her adherents perished,” continued the Guildmaster.

“If it were that simple to be rid of me, I would never have become a god in the first place. Anyway, I scavenged for rats in prison and survived.”

In other words, Lady Mythlanica used to be human? Does that mean she also has a human form? I need to know.

“Now, Souya. Will you make the covenant? You know you want to, don’t you? What will it be?”

“Yes!”

“Hmm, whatever should I dooo? You did treat me rather rudely, if you recall. Well, ask nicely, and I might consider it.”

I don’t mean to brag, but my next moves were absolutely captivating. I got down on my knees and sat up ramrod straight, legs tucked in under me. With hands still on my thighs, I gracefully lowered my head. This part you simply cannot rush. Recklessly dive down and it’ll come off like you’re pressuring the other person. I placed my hands together on the floor, forming a diamond with my index fingers and thumbs, and hovered my head just about a finger’s width off the ground. Making contact with the floor is unhygienic and not recommended. Refinement is key.

“Please, Lady Mythlanica! I beg you! Please! Pleeeaaassee!” And there you had it—the most esoteric bowing technique known to the Japanese—the dogeza. Emotionally, you should aim to match a peasant forced to cough up yearly taxes during a famine.

“Uh…… Right…… Very well. Now cease this. You embarrass me. Seriously, I can’t stand to look at you. Stop.”

“Otherworlder, allow me to give you a word of warning. Serve a malicious god and you are bound to endure even more torturous penance than had you no god at all,” said the Guildmaster.

“We have a saying where I’m from that goes, ‘One man’s devil is another man’s savior.’” Like one man’s trash but with gods.

“Nothing you say in that state holds any weight,” said Lady Mythlanica, expertly roasting me. By the way, Evetta had curled up into a ball in the corner. Sorry, I’ll be with you in a second.

“Let us begin. Assume a knight’s genuflection according to the ways of old.”

“Excuse me, what exactly would that be?”

Lady Mythlanica shook her head in disgust.

“Bend one knee to the ground, then place your left hand on your right shoulder and your right hand on the floor, fingers splayed so that I may see them,” she instructed. I did as I was told. “Now, bow your head. Do not, under any circumstances, dare look up until I give the word.”

The weight of the air around me shifted. It held a cat’s presence no longer. I could sense a person standing there. Bare feet padded softly over; I caught a glimpse of toenails.

“Mythlanica of the Dark Flame inquires: Art thou willing to become my sword and satisfy my every lust? No honor shall your blade reap, no glory shall your blood acquire, no peace shall your soul enjoy. In light of this, if thou hast no objections, answer me with silence.”

“…,” I answered.

“Mythlanica the Sinister Manipulator inquires: Dost thou possess the fortitude of mind to convert even the degradation of sipping mire into thine strength to do what must be done, attain what must be attained, and steal what must be stolen? Art thou willing to plot against the royal and slaughter the heroic? If thou hast no objections, answer me with silence.”

“……”

“Mythlanica the Malevolent accepts thine silence. O knight with no sword, he with no convictions, insubordinate Otherworlder. Mighty straddler of worlds who fears no evil name, seeks no acclaim, treasures no dreams. I hereby absolve thee of all thy sins and condone thy deceptions. Even should thou shoot the dark sparks that engulf the world in calamity, I alone shall forgive and accept all of thy being. As such—”

Fine hair brushed against my ear, soft skin touched my shoulder, and something leaned over me sweetly. Then came the bewitching fragrance of a woman. The evil spirit whispered in my ear.

“Your blood, your bones, even your cries of resentment now belong to me.”

I felt moist lips press against the nape of my neck. A tongue ran along my skin, and fingers slid down my face. A stabbing pain attacked my heart. I struggled to breathe for a second, then saw a vision of myself vomiting up my entrails. I forced myself to stop shaking. To show fear is a man’s greatest shame.

“The covenant has been consecrated. Raise your head.”

“Yes, milady.”

My gaze landed on long, silky, fluffy fur and golden eyes; before me stood a gray cat. I now knew it to be my goddess’s shadow, a disarming guise concealing the terrifying being within. And yet, she could be a devil for all I cared. I’d take her at my side over struggling all alone any day. But I was curious about one thing.

“Mr. Constable, my friend! What did my goddess look like?!”

“Wowza, talk about a woman of ruinous beauty. She was so fine that she gave me chills.”

Argh, I wish I coulda seen her.

“You, cease this nonsense.” It hadn’t taken long to piss off my goddess.

“All right! Now the rest is up to you at the Adventurers Guild. Everybody, get out,” ordered the constable. Thus, I was safely released from jail.

We got back to the wrecked campsite, and I immediately checked Machina’s status. The reboot meter had gone up to 59 percent. If it kept going at this rate, she would probably start working again the next day. I let out a sigh of relief. Her manual happened to be lying on the ground. I picked it up and flipped through it until I found what I was looking for: instructions on how to find the containers without her.

Every container came installed with a simple radar probe that looked like a big flashlight. In fact, it actually had a working light. Not that it meant anything here, but it also worked as a radio. It could connect to other devices through a USB cable and also had a hand-cranked charger, my personal favorite part.

I selected the missing containers’ numbers. The medical supplies and weapons were in three and four. That set, I switched on the probe. It beeped: signal received and returned. Checking the manual again, I found that it had a ten-kilometer search range. The containers had probably been hidden in the city somewhere. Still, this was no more than a simple probe. It would beep louder the closer I got to the containers but couldn’t tell me much more. I’d have to actually walk around on my own two feet to determine their exact location.

Actually, that still left a bigger problem to deal with. I looked around the campsite for anything I could use, putting things in order as I went.

……Nothing.

Water splashed over dishes somewhere behind me. My goddess had also started cleaning up. It would be disrespectful to look upon her human form, so I tried my best not to peek, no matter how badly I wanted to.

I took stock of the weapons I had once more. The AK was out. It could be the most durable and maintenance-free gun out there, but it would do me no good cut in half. Plus, I didn’t have any more bullets. The Colt Government looked fine, but only two rounds remained in its seven-bullet magazine. My woodsman’s hatchet hadn’t done much against that boar carcass, but it cut through human flesh like butter. Only, those wounds had healed right back up in an instant. Were all adventurers that beastly?

Last up, the karambit. I’d gotten it as a gift ages ago but had never mastered how to use it. A normal knife worked well enough if I had to stab anything, and the hole, called a grip ring from its applications in light work, always got in the way. I’d also cut myself on the curved blade before. Though I’d gotten a crash course on how to use it, you’d need to work up to a considerable level of skill to be able wield it in defensive maneuvers and cut your attacker’s hands or neck.

Well, I figured, if I didn’t have much brawn left, maybe brains were the way to go, so I started reading the manual again for helpful information.

“Caution: This manual will completely disintegrate within six months due to bio-telomere technology.” It included simple medical instructions, an illustrated survival guide, a manga depicting emergency simulations, another explaining the history of AI, and a technical repair guide for the machina units. And—a page that had been wet and dried. This page alone was made of a different material. It was a handwritten note clearly added after printing, and the scribbled penmanship made it look like its author must have been in a hurry.

“Employ this emergency measure in case either over half of the squadron members perish or all the machina units are destroyed. This is dangerous. I repeat, this is extremely dangerous. Appended here only as a last resort.”

All things considered, this last resort might come in handy right about now.

The constable had interrogated all three adventurers, but they had held their tongues. Actually, I’d gone a little overboard on them, and none of them had physically been able to talk, or so I heard.

But going back to the fundamental question, who had hired those degenerates to steal the containers? My money was on either the trade group or the royal family. There also remained the possibility it might’ve been the work of an individual adventurer, but even then, they’d need to go through the merchants to make any cash. I had to keep a close watch on the Adventurers Guild, too.

But in the end, my greatest suspicion fell on the trade group because they had both access to trade routes and the means to hire people to do the job. You could say the royal family checked those boxes, too, but if they had orchestrated this, then I was shit outta luck. Not even Goliath would go up against an entire country. So I decided to proceed under the assumption that the trade group had in fact done the deed.

My cleaning at the campsite finished, I set off for the city. A sleepy Lady Mythlanica rode on my shoulders as I walked all over town until I got a hit on the radar in the warehouse district.

“Excuse me, which trade group owns this warehouse?” I asked the guard in front of the building.

“The Zavah Night Owl Trade Group.”

“Thanks.” A satisfied smirk rose to my lips, and I left the area.

I found the headquarters for the Zavah Night Owl Trade Group that also ran the coin dealers without any trouble. It had a great location on the main street. Neatly arranged rows of weapons caught my eye after I stepped inside. No matter what else might be going on, you just couldn’t stop a boy’s heart from jumping with joy when he was surrounded by weapons.

The shop attracted a good number of customers. Friendly, attractive staff milled about recommending this or that to the patrons. Some readily took them up on their suggestions, while others haggled over the terms of the sale. Business was booming.

“Welcome, sir. Are you looking for anything specific today? I’d be happy to show you around if you’d like,” an elderly saleswoman offered. She was plump and elegant, and I could totally see myself buying whatever she put before me.

“Excuse me, I was hoping to see the owner of the shop.”

“Pardon my asking, but what business do you have with him?” she inquired.

I took a deep breath and, in a voice as low and powerful as I could muster, responded, “I’m interested in purchasing all the foreign goods you have in stock.”

“……” She replied with silence. Then she whispered in the ear of one of the staff passing by and called someone out for me. “Show our guest upstairs,” she instructed two muscular dudes. Together, we ascended to the second floor.

They led me to a room that must have been reserved for hosting clients. It contained a taxidermied monster, furniture adorned with golden embellishments, and a display of impractical yet dazzling swords. Plus, an expensive-looking sofa and table. The tightly shuttered windows left only a dim light in the room.

A man waited for me there—the same man from the coin dealer, in fact. He looked pretty young to be representing the shop on these matters. Was it talent or money that allowed him to get here—or both? Anyway.

“Leave us. Let me talk to our guest alone.” The bodyguards retreated at his order. “Now then, please have a seat.”

“Thanks.” I did as he asked and sat down on the luxurious sofa. Whoa, pretty fluffy. Lady Mythlanica descended from my shoulder and curled up into a ball.

“Mr. Otherworlder, I’ve heard some interesting tales about you.”

“Ohhh, you must mean how I clumped those three adventurers into a ball.”

He chuckled. “Now, then. What can I do for you?” Shameless bastard.

“I’d like you to return what your underlings stole from me. Do it now and I’ll forget this ever happened.”

“I’m sure I have no idea what you mean. Return what?” He would say that, wouldn’t he?

“What if I told you that I knew the stolen goods your men took are being kept in your warehouse?”

“So close.”

“?”

I had no idea what he meant.

“I must say, you’re so close. Mr. Otherworlder, you have some truly spectacular technology at your disposal. You have power we could not hope to understand. On top of that, you’re a man of nerve and talent. You came so close, yet so far.” He must’ve been pretty damn sure of himself because he didn’t even try to hide it.

“You are but one man. With a single word, I can have the items in the warehouse relocated. Would you like to call the constable? Or perhaps someone from the Guild? Neither would make it there in time, and I can feign ignorance for as long as necessary. You almost had me. If only you had kept your knowledge of their location close to your chest, you might have had a chance to retrieve your belongings.”

“Sure, but what would be the point in getting them back just so someone could steal them again?”

He was right. I couldn’t keep any valuables in my tent safe all on my own. If I kept playing this game of retrieving what’s mine just to have it taken once again, I’d run myself into the ground and end up too exhausted to do anything. Hiring a guard wouldn’t work because they’d soon see I had very little money, take advantage, and eventually bankrupt me. Not to mention, I’d constantly worry they might steal from me themselves. There’d be no time left for adventuring.

The man flashed a smile, incredibly pleased with himself. It was the kind of smile only someone who knows they’ve won by a landslide can give. “I’m pleased you understand where things stand. In that case, did you perhaps have any other items to sell? You would do well to bring them in before you lose them next time. We’ll purchase them from you at a fair price.”

“Nah, I don’t have anything like that left.”

“Well, then.” He gestured toward the door as if to say, Get out.

I slung Lady Mythlanica, now fast asleep, over my shoulder and stood up from the sofa. “Mind if I ask you two last questions?”

“Ask away.” He really thought he was sitting pretty.

“How are you so sure I won’t resort to violence while I’m here?”

“You’ve lost your guns. Furthermore, should you decide to get rough, we would respond in kind.” He snapped his fingers. The men waiting outside reentered the room—huge, fierce-looking brutes. I couldn’t describe them any other way.

“This one is especially talented. He’s taken care of quite a number of adventurers who have crossed the trade group.” He meant the dude on the left.

“Would you mind opening the window?” I asked.

“You, open it.”

The talented Mr. Muscles went out of his way to open it for me. Bright light and clangor poured in through a window that perfectly framed the warehouses.

“Those containers you stole all come with an emergency device that does a little something like this.” Time to activate the probe. I clicked the red button twice, waited one second, then pushed it down for five seconds. “It’s what we call a ‘self-destruct function.’”

A thundering boom exploded in the distance. Smoke shot up into the sky like out of a geyser—but from the warehouse, of course. Rubble and inventory flew all around and scattered. Textiles floated through the air, and blasted bits of golden goods rained down. Women shrieked, men screamed in anger, and the blast captivated almost everyone passing by. It had been about three times larger than what I’d expected.

“Wh-what? What did you—? What?!”

“I blew it up. You’ve got explosive-type magic here, too, right? It’s similar to that. I’ll bet nothing in that warehouse made it through.”

“……Ah, ahhh.” The man’s soul slipped out of his mouth. Maybe he had something really valuable stored there? If so, I’d gotten lucky.

“Ah, sorry. Just one more thing?” Before he could answer, I drew my Colt Government and put a bullet through each of the gangster virtuoso’s legs. I took pity on the guy and didn’t hit his vital organ. Surprised, Lady Mythlanica dug her nails into me.

The bodyguard scuffled back like a robot that had run out of oil.

“I’ll leave you with that today. I’ve gotta get myself registered with the Adventurers Guild. But I’ll be back once more tomorrow, same time, same place. Prepare yourself before then. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

I collected the bullet casings and strolled out of the room. Downstairs, everyone from customers to staff members had erupted into a full-blown panic and rushed toward the exit. I slipped into the crowd and disappeared without a trace. After getting out onto the main road, I made sure nobody had followed me and turned into a back alley. Several corners later, I felt pretty safe. Just then, Lady Mythlanica spoke up.

“Mm-mm-mm. Quite the villain, aren’t you?”

“No wayyy. They’re the villains here.”

“The just make wrongs right. Villains destroy other villains, don’t they?”

“I see.”

This conversation took us right up to the dungeon. My destination was the reception desk. Lady Mythlanica had to wait for me by the entrance.

“Excuse me, I’d like to register as an adventurer.”

“Of course. We’ve been expecting you,” replied Evetta. “Now, let’s continue from where we left off last time. Please tell me the name of the god with whom you have consecrated your covenant.”

“Lady Mythlanica.”

She moved her pen smoothly across the scroll. Then she double-checked the form, tracing her finger over every last item.

“One moment, please.” Form in hand, Evetta stood up from her chair. A Guild member behind her guided her through the process as she affixed something to the scroll and shined what appeared to be a magical light over it. She came back seeming kind of happy. I was happy, too.

“Your provisional registration has been completed. Two days hence, before the morning bell rings, you will be given your essential equipment and participate in a field training course. Please report back here. We do not accept late arrivals, so please keep that in mind.”

“Yes, ma’am.” All right. It’s not even a real first step, but I feel like I’ve made some progress.