CHAPTER 2

The Adventurer with a Blank Slate

[7TH DAY]

The morning fog swirled all around me on my walk to the city. My destination was the enormous building thrust into the crust of the ground—a dungeon called the Tower of Legions. At last, my adventure was starting. The anxiety and excitement sent my heartbeat racing. In the week since I’d arrived, I’d lost and gained so many things. I had overcome my first trial, so I could surely make it through the next one, too. With confidence in my pocket, I set out to tackle the dungeon.

Typical of early morning, the reception desks in the wee hours before the bell rang were largely unmanned. A quiet hush enveloped the dimly lit room. Spying a familiar face, I went to say hello.

“Good morning, Evetta.”

“Good morning, Souya,” she greeted me back, as straight-faced as ever despite the early hour. I bet she probably never had much trouble waking up. “You’re a bit early, but as an ironclad rule, adventurers always strive to act in advance. Wonderful.”

“Aww.” It had paid off to have Machina blast an alarm to wake me up. Getting to sleep early hadn’t hurt, either.

“Here, your Guild-issued supply kit.” She handed me a large leather rucksack. “I think everything is in order, but please do check to make sure.”

“Will do.” I opened it up. Inside was a belt with small pockets, a lantern containing a kind of crystal, a scroll detailing my personal information, ten pages for mapmaking, and two treated pieces of charcoal to use for writing.

“What’s this?” I asked. One of the items I just couldn’t place. It came in a leather pouch and had two glass vials that looked like test tubes lined up against and affixed to each other. Each tube had a cork keeping the clear liquid that filled it inside. On closer inspection, I noticed delicate golden ornamentation that gave me the impression this item held a secret power.

“Souya, you’re a rearguard, so please keep your ryvius close to your heart,” Evetta instructed. “If you ever switch to a vanguard position, try to position it behind your shield or on your back. There are no hard and fast rules, but you should always find a way to put it somewhere your party members can see it.”

No one’s gonna see this if I pin it to my clothes under my poncho, will they? Producing a thin elastic string from my backpack, I threaded it through the vials and hung them from my neck.

“So what’s a ryvius?” Felt like an important question.

“Oh, that’s right. I’d forgotten.” Evetta casually whipped out a knife so fast I didn’t even see her move. “I’ll need trimmings of either your hair or nails.”

“Then let’s go with hair.” With a whoosh, two strands of my locks fell victim to her blade. She uncorked the tubes and dropped a strand in each vial, then put her knife away and took out a book.

“My name is Evetta the Pulverizer. In the name of my beloved and venerable Remlia, I raise up my voice in prayer to Lord Windovnickel,” she chanted. “O mighty Garwing, bestow upon this man a trickle of power overflown from the world of magic, a fragment of a miracle. Support his life with knowledge and let this knowledge fuel his faith, faith that having left the hands of God will transform into magic, surround his person, and convert into life. Turos Mea!”

The light I’d seen appear at the bar before danced around like fireflies and then converged upon the book. “Ryvius!” she shouted, then took that book bathed in the magical light and whacked me over the head with it.

“Gah!” I yelped.

“Oh, sorry. I think that last part was unnecessary, but I just got so into it, and my hands slipped.” Please don’t beat me up by accident. I thought I was gonna die. I’m seeing stars. “Now, all you have to do is shake the vials until they change colors.”

“……Okay.” What is this, a science kit for kids? I shook the tubes. Evetta flipped through her documents, checking something. That’s when other adventurers started trickling in through the doors. They were probably newbies like me. Each one got a supply bag just like I had. Not one of them got slammed upside the head with a book, though—just saying. The top of my head throbbed.

“Uh, Evetta, I see some colors.”

“Okay, let me check.” The liquid in one vial had turned red; the liquid in the other, blue. “It worked? ……Yeah, I think it probably worked. Look very carefully, Souya. The red color represents your internal magic, and the blue, your external magic.” The colors settled at the bottom of the vials; the red liquid measured about as long as my thumbnail; the blue, about the size of my pinky nail. “This red internal magic represents your capacity to regenerate. As long as you have some left, you’ll automatically re-heal, even if your limbs get chopped off or if you spill your guts. It’s called Turos Mana, which comes from Garwing’s moniker.”

Now that she mentioned it, my head didn’t hurt anymore. I ran my hand over it but felt no inflammation or bumps. And then it clicked. This was the strange power those three adventurers I’d fought had.

“However, please don’t place too much faith in it. You’ll die immediately if someone snaps your neck. Additionally, if you get skewered in a trap and find yourself unable to move, you’ll die eventually. It also does not protect you from poison, disease, or parasites. If you have a foreign object in your body before you regenerate, it may still be lodged in there after you heal. In extremely tense situations, even swinging your sword may damage you from within. Be careful not to assume you’re uninjured simply because you don’t see any external wounds, because if you fail to check yourself properly and fail to realize your magic has depleted, you could kill yourself.”

“Okay.” I’d already found out firsthand that while incredibly strong, this power was not limitless.

“You should also know it only works around this city and within the dungeon. We often see adventurers get cocky outside of those bounds, drop their guard, and wind up dead. The ryvius is a powerful tool, but it is nothing more than a supplement to your own strength. In the end, you must rely on your own mental and physical capabilities. Please do not ever forget this.”

“All right. I understand.” In other words, it all came down to spirit and guts. “And how about the blue one?”

“This one is extra. The blue external magic meter represents how much magic you can use. I imagine you’ll find out soon enough if you have the talent to be a mage.”

So basically, it shows what you’d call HP and MP in a video game. Magic, huh? I’d love to try it out. It sounds amazing. How badass would it be if I could shoot fire or thunder out of a staff? Could I also make myself invisible or fly?

As I inspected the vial, I asked her a question. “Evetta, is my ryvius potential on the higher end? Or is it lower than most?”

“……”

It seemed very difficult for her to answer. “It’s certainly not on the higher end.” My ryvius filled about a tenth of the vial.

“Uh, so is it, like, a bit below average?”

“I’d say it’s higher up on the low end? Perhaps. I conjured one for a puppy once during training, and he had about the same amount as you.”

“So basically, I’m on the same level as a puppy?”

“No! The puppy wasn’t very big at all at that point, so it had a surprising amount of ryvius for its size. I’m sure that as you grow, yours should also increase.” Too bad I’d long left growth spurts behind me.

I shook it off and equipped the items I’d been given. That said, I already had pockets on my vest, so I only had to tie the lantern around my waist. The rest of the supplies I put in my backpack. The rucksack I didn’t know what to do with, but Evetta promised she’d hold on to it for me.

The bell rang, alerting everyone to the arrival of morning. About twenty adventurers had gathered around. Most of them were clearly doe-eyed greenhorns like myself, but a few among them did not fit that description. One middle-aged man in particular very clearly had quite a bit of mastery under his belt. He had raven hair and eyes, a five-o’clock shadow, and a patch over his left eye. Compared to the hordes of towering adventurers, he’d probably fall on the smaller end. However, he had an impeccable physique. His leather armor had clearly seen some repair, and the shield he carried on his back bore fresh scratch marks. The sword hanging from his hips had also obviously been worn down through repeated use. Not a single thing about him looked new. And yet, nothing appeared dilapidated, either. It all bore witness to his storied past.

He reminds me of someone. Yojimbo, Shogun, Toshiro……Toshiro Mifune. In this fantasy world?

He began speaking in a calm voice. “We’ll now begin the two thousand four hundred and second Initiate Adventurers Training Course. My name’s Medîm, and I’m in charge of the heims here, my little chicks.”

Heims were what they called normal humans like me. A few of the adventurers, actually mainly those normal humans themselves, clicked their tongues at the term. A casual glance around the room revealed that most of the adventurers worked with staff of the same race. Heims had heim counselors, elves worked with elves, and beastfolk with other beastfolk, though there were too many varieties to lump them all into one category. It got me thinking—was Evetta a beastmaid? She did have horns. What kind of beast did she get that trait from? It would have to be a question for another time.

“I’ll be looking after you, you, you, and you two young ladies over there,” he continued. Everyone he pointed at gathered around him, myself included. In our group, we had a blond-haired, blue-eyed young dude in a suit of armor carrying a sword and shield; a red-haired boy dressed in light armor with a longsword slung across his back; a similarly clad boyish young girl with short hair and a spear; and rounding out the pack, a woman in a black robe that did little to conceal her sexy curves. From her pointy hat and staff that stood as tall as she did, I assumed that she was some sort of mage. And last of all, me. All five of us were heims.

I guess interracial tension and discrimination must be a thing here, too. It’s annoying to think about, but if I don’t keep that in mind, I can see myself getting into some tricky situations. Better watch out.

“All right. Being an adventurer is all about getting in experience. So without further ado, in we go.” The battle-hardened adventurer leading us set off. I went to follow him, but Evetta grabbed both my shoulders from behind and held me back.

“Souya, be sure to do whatever Pops says. Did you tie your lantern on tight? You’re not forgetting anything? If you need to go to the bathroom, you should do it now. And make sure to run at the first sign of danger. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Again, are you my mother?

“Ah, Evetta. That him? The notorious Otherworlder?” our leader asked.

“Yes, Pops. Please take good care of him.”

“That’s a tall order. I’ll look after him just as much as the others.”

“Please, please take good care of him.” This is so embarrassing—can you stop? Everyone’s staring. The little girl’s giggling at me.

“Good luuuck!” Evetta called out, waving at me from behind. I gave her a small wave back, turned around, and finally took my first steps into the dungeon.

We started climbing down a wide staircase, walking two abreast. Aren’t we going to use a portal? I thought, glancing at them out of the corner of my eye.

“Hey, you. What’s your deal with that girl with the horns back there?” the young boy at my side asked. Have I seen him before? I can’t remember. Feels like it’s on the tip of my tongue, but—

“What’s my deal? She’s just my counselor, and I’m just an adventurer.”

“She came with you when you went through Lady Gladwein’s test, didn’t she? I saw you eating together at the bar after that and then again sitting shoulder to shoulder on the side of the road. Something smells off. You can’t tell me you’re only—”

—And then the memory came rushing back.

“Ah, I remember. You’re the kid who got to make a covenant with Lady Gladwein.”

“What?!” the knightly dude exclaimed from behind us. “Boy! You secured a covenant with Lady Gladwein at such a young age?!”

“Whoo, nicely done. She only takes in maybe one disciple every six months, if that,” the veteran adventurer called Pops complimented him.

“I went to try my luck as well, but a beastkid threw me out one-handed,” explained the knightly dude. “What kind of trial did you pass to manage that?”

“I…I—” The boy hesitated.

“He stabbed a boar with his swooord,” answered the cheerful young girl, completely ignoring his distress.

“C’mon, Bel! Knock it off! Don’t spread that around! What if I get a weird handle ’cause of that?!”

“Whaaat? You were the only one who got to make a covenant, you know, Shuna. That’s amazing! Just sit back and let them talk you up some more!”

“She’s got a point. That was one hard boar,” I agreed, adding my own takeaways from my go at the trial.

“Sure was, right, brother? I only got the tip of my spear in, myself.”

“Ha-ha-ha,” the young girl and I laughed, squarely in the failure camp.

“A boar, you say. I didn’t know that was an option,” mused our resident knight.

The boy seemed lost for how to respond. Perhaps searching for a way out of that conversation, Shuna, as he’d been called, landed on something and came back at me. “Forget about me! I wanna know about you and that lady!”

“Like I said, we only have a professional relationship. It is true I’ve put her in some tricky positions, though.”

“Tricky positions?” He wasn’t letting anything slide.

“Oh, so you’ve got a thing for girls like her, Shunie,” teased Bel.

“Th-that’s not true!” Ahh, now I get it. Evetta is beautiful.

“Are you perchance unfamiliar with the Horns, little boy?” the lady mage asked flirtatiously, breaking her silence.

“Horns?” he asked. You could almost see the question mark floating above his head. Now that she mentioned it, I remembered both Lady Mythlanica and Evetta saying something about that before.

“The horned woman you’re talking about. She seems well tamed, but that’s a dungeon monster, you know,” explained the mage. “People often confuse them with beastfolk, but you can tell because they don’t have any other animalistic features aside from their horns. I’d never seen ones shaped like hers, so I’m positive that’s what she is. You be careful, little boy. Meet one of those in the dungeon and you’ll be torn limb from limb. Although, you can sell their young for a pretty penny. If you think you’ve got what it takes to train them, you can put them in your party to bolster your battle power, or you could also get some fortified chains and play house with them. Do give it a try if you’re curious. But you know, it might be easier to just buy one off of someone, don’t you think?”

“Well, I, uh…” Shuna’s face hardened as she spoke. Mine too. To make it worse, I’d gone and pictured Evetta trapped in chains. An electric charge ran through the awkward mood in the group.

“Evetta belongs to King Remlia. Regardless of her past, she has achieved great things as an adventurer. Careful who you mock, miss, or it may be the end of you.” Pops sure knew how to throw some shade. I felt like I now understood why everyone called him that.

“I’m terribly sorry,” the lady apologized.

A blast of hot air blew our way as the end of the staircase came into view. “This here’s the second floor. It’s technically in the dungeon, but you’re as safe here as you are upstairs,” Pops explained. Steam swirled all around the second floor. Though it was constructed of stone like the floor above, along with the rest of the city, it seemed a little brighter somehow. Strange, since I didn’t see any light fixtures. Pipes also crisscrossed all over the ceiling in another mysterious design feature.

Cloth curtains partitioned the wide-open space into several rooms. I peeked into an empty one and saw a stone bathtub, wooden bucket, soap, and something resembling a loofah neatly set out. A pipe that looked like a faucet rested on top of the tub. This had to be, you know, a bathtub.

“The walls, ceilings, and the like are made of emiluminite,” Pops explained. “We had some trouble in the past due to the heat, so we asked the dwarves to run water lines around to cool things off. The baths were a by-product. Don’t let that fool you, though—it’s vital you take your baths. Don’t let that slip by the wayside. We once had an adventurer who hated washing up. He eventually carried a disease back with him into town, and boy, what a mess that was. The water’s got medicinal herbs mixed in it, so it’ll help your wounds heal and relax your muscles. It’s free, so make sure you always take a dip on your way up.” The ladies squealed in delight.

“You’ll normally only see portals every five floors, but for some reason, there’s one set up on this level and on the one below us,” he continued. “Get your authentication and all in order, and you’ll be free to use the portals to come here all you want.”

The young boy put his palm up to a nearby portal. I looked around to see what the others would do and followed their example. I could have sworn that the membrane of light changed colors slightly. Did this mean we could safely use the portals to explore the dungeon? It was much smaller than the one the Firm had set up in their basement—distressingly small—but worlds more technologically advanced.

“Sorry, Pops, what’s emiluminite?” I asked. It had me sorta curious.

“It’s a type of light stone that’s unique to the dungeon. It gives off light and heat on impact. They put it in the lanterns in your supply kit, the streetlights in town, and the like. The emiluminite content is particularly high on this floor, but you can also find it on other levels. No one knows why, but take it one step outside your ryvius radius of regeneration, and it turns into a normal, everyday rock.”

“Huh.” They’ve got some handy stuff here. I might be able to use that for something.

“Oh, sweetie, is that where you’re starting from?” the lady asked incredulously. “You’ll always find emiluminite in dungeons like this. What’s more, the deposits are basically inexhaustible. It’s one of the factors used to substantiate the theory that the dungeon is a living organism. In other words, emiluminite is the crystallized form of whatever fluids, or perhaps even waste, the dungeon secretes as a product of its biological activity. That’s especially so here, in the Tower of Legions, since it’s said to be a horn that belonged to the giant who created the world. Basically, this place is still alive. Can you picture it? It has continued to live since long, long before the gods ever roamed the world, back since primordial times. And it’s only a single horn. What exactly do you think the giant who made it was like? How massive must it have been, and why did it fashion this world only to then disappear?!”

She’d heated up by this point and was talking straight at the wall—and that’s right where we left her. The rest of us started moving on to the next floor down.

“Hey, guys!”

On to the third floor. “This level’s safe, too,” declared Pops. “Like it or not, you’re gonna get real familiar with this place if you do any exploring.” It reeked of blood. Men in aprons were carving up giant hunks of meat. Every once in a while, I heard a monster’s agonizing last breaths. This floor served as the processing workshop.

“Any monsters adventurers slay will first be brought back here. They’ll smoke the meat, turn the bones into tools like handles or construction materials, fashion clothing, canteens, and things out of the skins, and make medicinal ingredients out of the monsters’ blood, organs, secretions, etcetera. Basically, nothing is wasted. They can also put rare resources through a preservation process and hold on to them separately, then send them on to the merchants upstairs.”

Makes sense. Like it or not, we’ll definitely be frequent customers. By the way, can you buy raw meat here? I wondered, but Pops and the other initiate adventurers headed down to the next floor before I got the chance to ask. I tagged along after them.

We’d now made it to the fourth floor. It’d be nice if I could get all the way to the fifty-sixth floor this easily, but I figured that wasn’t gonna happen. This level felt markedly different from the two floors above us. It had a damp, moldy smell and was much darker. Light shone about the stairs, but gaping darkness awaited us at the end of a four-meter-wide corridor. This was the real dungeon. The real test started now.

“Okay, you,” Pops declared as he handed me a map. It showed the staircases on each level. We’d gone down deeper than I’d expected. “For the time being, you’ll be the leader. The five of you, organize yourselves into a party and come down to the fifth level. I’ll be waiting there.”

Wait, what does that mean? I went to ask, but Pops had already sprinted off. “Damn, he’s fast!” And quiet; not even the metal on his equipment made a sound as he disappeared into the dark. Four pairs of eyes turned to me.

“Anybody else want to be the leader instead?” I asked hopefully. I’d never been good at public speaking.

“Shall I do it?” The knight seemed eager. I handed him the map. “All right! Everyone, follow me!”

“Wait.” I stopped the knight in his tracks. “You’ve got the map backward.”

“Oh, pardon me. This is my first time reading a dungeon map.” He flashed a charming smile. I turned to look at the young boy and girl. They both averted their eyes. How about the learned young lady?

“Tee-hee.” She brushed me off with a smile. Is that how it was gonna be?

“My bad. I’ll do it after all. Sorry for the hold up.” I snatched back the map. I whispered into the speaker on my glasses. “Isolla, scan the map and give us directions.

“……Isolla? Machina? Do you copy?” Hmm?

No response. You’ve got to be kidding; is there some kind of interference going on? Aaah, well, whatever. I just have to read and follow the map. I don’t need modern technology for that. I pulled out my flat, credit-card-sized, military-grade compass and got my bearings. I almost forgot. We need to figure out our formation before we go anywhere.

“Mr. Knight, you take the lead.”

“Right.”

“As for the rest of you…” I had the knight up in front, then put myself next in line, followed by the young boy, the mage lady, and the young girl pulling up the rear. “And if you could all turn on your lanterns…” I went to switch on mine, realized I didn’t know how, then just shook it around, and it lit up. Its dim glow didn’t inspire much faith. Nervous, I pulled out my radar probe and turned on the flashlight. You couldn’t even begin to compare the two. The beam from the probe reached all the way to the end of the corridor.

“That’s bright. Is it magic?” asked the knight.

“Basically.”

He started off, looking a little surprised.

Maybe it was because I had just seen Pops show us how it should be done, but my party members’ footsteps and our jingly metal pieces grated on my nerves in an odd way. If any foes in the area noticed us, wouldn’t they come and try to attack?

“Turn right at the next intersection.”

“Got it.” The knight proceeded cautiously, sword and shield in hand, and checked down both the right and left corridors. I’d written him off as unreliable based on nothing but my first impression, but this guy had seen battle. He carried himself without a single wasteful movement. “All clear,” he announced, and we proceeded accordingly. I turned the corner after him, too. Then, I felt something behind me.

“Enemy!” I screamed and swerved the light over only to find a monster flapping its wings furiously as it rushed toward me. It was a freshly severed human head that had sprouted wings. That abomination opened its mouth wide and bared its fangs.

“Apologies.” The knight grabbed my shoulder and pushed me out of the way. I lost my balance, somehow managed to take a defensive stance, and fixed my eyes on the monster again—but by that point, the battle had already ended.

The knight bashed the monster with his shield, and the young boy added on a thrust of his sword into the beast. It only took a second. Another monster appeared while I stood there dumbfounded. That one the young girl skewered onto her spear, securing it for the mage lady to call forth a flame and turn it into a literal fireball. The space filled with the smell of burnt meat.

I hadn’t done a single thing.

“This little guy’s a chocho. I’ve never seen a wild one before,” cooed the mage lady as she started feeling up the monster stuck on the young boy’s sword. Just the thought of what germs might be on it made me nervous. “Its human features are so much more pronounced than the farm-raised variety. Its wingspan is twice as big, too. Ooh, look at that thick slab of meat.”

The resemblance it bore to a human face was just a pattern its feathers made, a camouflage. Given its wings and bone structure, I figured it might be some kind of bird—which begged the question.

“Does it…taste good?”

The mage lady’s eyes sparkled.

“It’s delicious. They’re a bit violent, but as long as you’ve got a darkroom, you can raise them, and basically everything but their teeth and bones are edible. But their eggs are to die for. They’re sold as large guinelle eggs here. Guinelle are a type of large bird that doesn’t naturally exist on the Right Continent. The chocho eggs have got a very similar taste and richness, so they were first sold as a substitute but then went mainstream and stole the name. Just a bit of trivia.”

“You eat that?” the knight asked, completely pale.

“Of course. We eat them back on our home island, too,” added the girl. “The wings are really good if you fry them up in oil till they’re crispy and sprinkle salt on ’em. They’d probably be good in soup, too.”

“Don’t bring up the island. They’re gonna treat us like country bumpkins,” the young boy chided her.

“Lord Knight, I hope you realize about a third of the food eaten in this town comes from the dungeon,” the mage lady informed him.

“I didn’t realize. Beggin’ your pardon, I’d never even thought to wonder where it all came from.”

“What? What are you, some kinda rotten prince?” the young boy snapped.

The knight only replied in a soft voice, “There’s not much to brag about when you’re from a noble house on the lowest rung of aristocratic society.”

“So you are from a distinguished family!” exclaimed the mage.

“What, really?! Are ya rich?!” asked the young girl breathlessly.

So he’s rich, tall, probably has a good personality, and to top it all off, a nobleman. Yep, I bet only the most extraordinarily eccentric of girls wouldn’t jump at that deal.

The knight gazed coldly at the young boy and me while the ladies bombarded him with questions. I figured I should probably stop them considering where we were, but if I stepped in at this point, I’d look like a lowlife getting jealous. I didn’t want that. I may have already admitted defeat, but that I couldn’t bear.

“Hey, kid,” I said.

“Yeah?”

At times like these, nothing beat a totally unrelated topic. “What do those chocho eat?”

“Prolly bugs and rats, no? I bet there’s tons of small critters here. This place’d be poop and rotten meat city without ’em.”

“Makes sense.” It made a simple food chain. Then, for no real reason, I asked, “So do you think that chocho thing’s at the top of the pecking order on this floor?”

“No freakin’ waaay. All the ones we were raisin’ back home got eaten up by a stray dog. They’re not a superstrong species. You can tell they’re weak ’cause they’ve got to use camo.”

“Huh.”

The ladies squealed in delight. Our resident knight smiled kindly. We had just finished our first battle in the dungeon and were riding that high, intoxicated by the rush. We’d gone in without a game plan and had pulled off a perfect combo. And we’d won. Our spirits were almost destined to soar. Even the kid and I secretly rejoiced on the inside, despite looking a little bummed. In other words, we’d all completely let down our guard. None of us noticed the beast that feasted primarily on chocho approaching.

“BRRRRRRRRRRR!”

The air shook with its roar. There stood a fat, bulging boar. At almost four meters long, big didn’t cut it. Its body almost completely filled the corridor both in width and height. Perhaps aroused by the smell of the chocho’s blood and charred flesh, it turned its wild, murderous instincts in our direction and came barreling straight at us!

Not even five seconds and it’d be on us.

“RUN!”

The kid grabbed the cowering mage and the young girl and pulled them close. The corner. We had to make it to the corner and get behind the boar. Only an idiot would take a gigantic beast like this straight on—

“Come at me, monster!” Our brave knight stood directly in the beast’s path without a hint of fear. “No self-respecting knight would ever retreat in front of an enem— Gaaaaah!” The boar flung him out of the way with its enormous snout. Luckily, he landed behind the beast. But I had no time to check if he was okay. I flashed the light at the boar and tried to get it to come to me. We’d have to retrieve our knight later.

“Run! RUUUN! Next corner, turn left! Then keep straight!” I shouted out instructions. The kid ran at the head of the pack. Next came the slow-footed lady mage. The young girl and I brought up the end.

“What is that? And what did it eat to get that big?!” screamed the girl.

“Anything!” I answered.

“Nooooooooo!” If I’d been alone, I probably would’ve screamed, too. Getting chased by a massive boar in a dim dungeon was way more brutal than anything I’d imagined. And I had no trouble at all picturing what would happen if it caught up to us.

“Kid, next left!”

“Ah!” The boy turned right at the fork in the tunnels, and the lady mage followed suit.

“Forget it! Don’t turn back! Just keep going!” I yelled. If they went any other direction than straight, they’d rejoin us. More likely, they’d run right into the boar. But if the map in my mind was correct, the route the boy took would lead to a dead end.

The boar skidded wildly around the corner. I could hear its hooves slipping and sliding just behind us. I shined the light on it once more as a threat. It didn’t shrink at all and in fact bellowed even louder as it bore down on us.

“Okay, follow me!” I pulled the girl’s hand and ran as fast as I could. We turned three corners but didn’t break away from it at all. I was starting to run out of breath. My thighs felt ready to cramp up any minute. But the girl seemed to have quite a bit more stamina than I did, so I couldn’t give in to weakness.

“Hey, mister! Do you have a plan?!” she asked me.

“Yeah! I do, but we need to get a bit more space between us or it won’t work!”

“You just need a bit, right?” She released my hand and turned around. Pinning her spear under her arm, she held up three little wooden statues.

“My Lord Ukhazol, King of the Tree Spirits, Lady Gastolfo, Goddess of Fertility, I, Beltriche of Azollid, beg you both for a miracle. Please! Stop this beast!” she chanted, then scattered seeds on the ground.

The boar was right in front of us. We weren’t going to make it. I instinctively grabbed the girl from behind to protect her—not that it would mean anything, but it beat the alternative.

Just then, a literal miracle happened. Vines sprouted from the seeds and wrapped themselves around the boar’s front legs. Propelled forward by momentum, it fell flat on its face.

“This will really only last for a minute! It won’t hold long!”

“Got it!”

With the boar’s every thrash, another vine let us down and snapped in two. We burned the last of our energy to sprint away in the brief delay. The extreme circumstances and adrenaline had eaten through almost all of my stamina. I was panting like crazy, and cramps shot up and down my legs. And yet, somehow, we made it to the place I had in mind.

“Your spear!” I borrowed it from the girl and set it on the ground, then took off my poncho and covered the spear with it.

“Wait, you’re kidding.” The girl’s voice dripped with unease when she caught on. I leaned my back against the wall and sat down on the ground.

“Get in the corner, please. If this doesn’t work, run away while he’s eating me,” I told her. Completely ignoring me, she came to sit between my legs while resting her back against my chest.

“Nah, as if I could. I’m pretty sure we’d both get squashed to death and then eaten.”

“Yeah, guess you’re right.”

A twelve-meter straight shot of corridor stretched out in front of us. The boar turned into our line of sight, spotted us, and started pawing the ground. I had no other choice at that point but to pray this brute was as dumb as it looked.

The giant beast charged. It was like a semi-trailer made of meat. My face twitched at its tremendous power. The girl smelled sweet. Sweat drenched the nape of her neck. I could feel her body trembling. She almost definitely beat me in physical strength, but she was still petite and thin. I hugged her around the shoulders, and she anxiously grabbed on to my arms. When confronted with mortal danger, human physiological responses apparently kick in and try to produce offspring. If that was true, then this ill-timed carnal lust made a bit more sense. But this moment of escapism didn’t even last a tenth of a second. Our moment had come.

“Hold it!” I shouted. I flung the poncho off of the spear, and the two of us leaped to our feet and pushed our full weight behind it, the end of the handle buttressed against the wall. The boar charged right into the spearhead, which bent under the impact. Blood and screams filled the air.

“Oiiiiiiiii!”

The spear pierced through the roof of the boar’s mouth and reached almost to its brain. But it wasn’t dead yet. It kept lunging forward and trying to close its jaws around us, driving the spear farther into its flesh with each thrust.

“Eek!”

“You son of a bitch!” I whipped out my woodsman’s hatchet and slashed wildly at it. The blade didn’t even scratch the boar’s hide. Its teeth gnashed and closed in on Beltriche. I kicked it in the snout over and over again, but the beast wouldn’t stop.

What do we do?

This is bad. What’s our next move?

My jumbled thoughts raced for a second—and then we heard an extremely high-pitched wail.

“?”

The boar’s eyes rolled up into the back of its head. Lifeless, the lump of meat crashed down on us. I braced myself for a horror-movie twist where it would come back and attack us again……but it never happened.

“Bel! You okay?” The kid quickly slipped his longsword out of the boar. Oil and blood covered the blade—I shuddered to think where he might’ve stuck it.

“I-it’s so heavy! Shunie, get it off me!” Bel called out.

“I’m trying, but it won’t mooove!”

I did all I could, too, but it wouldn’t budge. And I wasn’t trying to take advantage of a situation where I could be legally pressed up against a girl my little sister’s age. I just didn’t have the strength. Seriously.

Ah, this is heaven, but I’m running out of air.

“Mister? You’re breathing kind of weird. You okay?” asked Bel.

“I think I’m gonna pass out.” The enormous weight on my chest made it impossible to breathe.

“Shunie, hurry!”

“I told you, I’m trying!” Their argument started to sound so far away. Just as my consciousness faded out, the pressure lifted, and air flooded into my lungs. I gasped as if I’d been drowning.

“You guys sure are something.”

There stood Pops, though I had no idea when he’d arrived. “Dungeon boars this massive give even adept adventurers a run for their money.” Pops grabbed the beast with one hand and moved it out of the way. Our valiant knight hung from his other hand. I wondered who the real monster was here. “Oh, it’s a female. You got lucky—if it had been a male, you’d have all been dead meat. Their skin is real tough, so you need to build yourself up quite a bit before you can take it down physically.”

“Seriously?” The pigs in this world are terrifying. Crazy scary. Okay, looks like pork’s on the menu for dinner.

“Pops, this thing’s huge. You’re saying these newbies took her down? Impressive,” remarked one of a bunch of aproned men standing around. I had no idea when they’d gotten there, either. Each held an enormous butcher’s knife.

“All riiight, fellas, let’s get her drained, gutted, and chopped up. Don’t you dare waste a drop of blood, a scrap of meat, or a fragment of her bones! This little piggy’s a giant, so we’re gonna need to fix her up real quick before we can bring her back through the portal. Watch out so you don’t get in the adventurers’ way.”

The men jumped into a flurry of activity, dissecting and dismantling the pig with fascinating speed. “Which of you’s the party leader?” one of the butchers holding a scroll asked. The boy and girl pointed at me from their seats on the ground. “It’s a female, you know, so I can give ya a good price for the meat, but the hide’s not worth much. The bones we’ll take at the standard rate. Still, there’s a lot to go around, so you’ll come outta this with a tidy sum. Plus, the Guild covers all the transportation fees for anything caught on the first few floors, so you don’t have to pay anything outta pocket. If you go through us, the Adventurers Guild Meat Packing Department, I reckon it’ll come to about thirty gold coins in total. But if you’ve already got a preferred merchant, we can send it round to them. What’ll it be?”