CHAPTER 2 In Search of Glory

Back at the city gates, we ran into Pops and gave him a casual greeting. When we passed each other, I felt something get shoved into my backpack. After meeting up with Arvin and Zenobia, we headed to the Zavah Night Owl Trade Group’s basement to go over the schedule for the day. I scanned the map I’d received, then incinerated the original. If it got out, his sharing a chart with a group of rookies like us would deal a huge blow to his reputation. It would not do for the Father of Adventurers to play favorites.

Leaving Lana behind had been a hell of a challenge. She’d thrown a full-blown tantrum. Did elves suddenly regress to children when they ran out of MP? Either way, I couldn’t let such a precious moment pass by, so I recorded it for posterity. I planned to replay it next time I felt down. It would soothe the most fatigued of minds.

“Our goal for today is the twelfth floor,” I began. “Lana won’t be joining us, so don’t count on any wide-range firepower. If we come up against three or more enemies at once, we run, regardless of the circumstances. But let’s see what we can do against any individual foes. Depending on how this pans out, I expect we’ll come back up by about midday.” It’s not that I didn’t trust Pops; I just wanted to confirm the map’s accuracy for myself.

“Understood.” Good old Arvin. He only agreed so quickly because he had full faith in me. His trust, in turn, instilled me with the desire to craft foolproof strategies that would never let him down, or, failing that, ones we could retry even if at first we didn’t succeed. “Setting that aside for the moment, what in St. Lillideas’s name happened to those three?” He gestured over at Éa, Shuna, and Bel sitting in a row, stewing in venomous fury.

“They got into a fight over breakfast this morning.” I’d underestimated the youthful appetite. I mean, not that I was old or anything.

“This jerk put on a whole show so she could hog it all for herself,” accused Shuna, pointing at Éa.

“I’m sooo sorry,” she mocked, rolling her eyes.

“Shunie lost his cool and whipped out his sword, so the beastmaid lady beat him to a pulp,” Bel helpfully explained.

Lanceil, who did not take breaches of etiquette lightly, had captured Shuna and given him a thorough lecture and spanking. By the time he got to take a bite of the pizza, the cheese had totally chilled. Éa and Bel had made sure Shuna could see them all through his scolding, taunting him with each bite of the warm, melty delight they took.

“Hold up, then why are you so pissed, Bel?” asked Shuna.

“Nooo reeeason! I’m not even maaad!”

Ever since Bel had seen me feeding a slice to Lana, her mood had taken a turn for the nasty. Her fury grew with each passing minute. Was I supposed to do something about this? Oh, and Éa hadn’t actually gotten to try the pizza she’d lusted after, even after successfully playing all of us, so she’d come out of the meal completely discontented.

How had this happened? Wasn’t sharing delicious food supposed to make everyone smile? This was getting serious. Had my pizza tasted that bad? If only it had come out a little better; maybe then they wouldn’t have fought so— Whoa, that was close.

I’m an adventurer. My job is to explore the dungeon. By no stretch of the imagination am I a chef, nor do I have any intention of spreading my culinary traditions around. I’m treading a gray area as it is, but if I leave any more proof a Japanese person came through, there’ll be no going back. I’ve gotta be more careful.

“Right, then let’s get delving. We’ll meet up again on the tenth floor.”

At my order, everyone picked up their designated bags with the provisions I’d portioned out and left one by one. This was how it always went. Officially speaking, we weren’t registered as a single party. It just so happened that a party with Arvin in the lead and another with me at the helm would meet in the dungeon and work together from there.

We only went through this annoying farce since Arvin and elves joining the same party would stir up a lot of trouble. His hometown, Ellusion, was currently at war, though nobody knew exactly who they were up against. All they’d heard was that the enemy group belonged to the elven race and went by “the Black Elves.” An internal struggle for power raging among the popes of Ellusion complicated the situation even further. A flood of deceptions, betrayals, and deaths had sent the city spiraling down a whirlpool of pandemonium. Arvin had embarked on a quest for glory to gain a papal pardon for his elder sister. Getting caught on an expedition with two elves would destroy his hope beyond resurrection.

I’d half forgotten, but the douchebags I’d met the night before had been knights from his country. Maybe they were acquainted.

“Zenobia, can I steal you later for a minute?” I asked.

“Yes, of course.” I needed information. It’d be easiest to ask Arvin directly, but only an unfit leader would put their members in such an awkward position. Best to eliminate all complications in secret.

After making our way onto the main street, Éa and I started walking side by side, the others a few paces ahead of us.

“Now that I think about it,” she started.

“Hmm?”

She took a long, hard look at me. I took a long, hard look right back. My sister-in-law was stunning. Elves were naturally gorgeous, but I’d say Éa was particularly captivating. She had skin as fine as porcelain, long, slender arms and legs, lengthy locks of blond hair that sparkled like gold dust, and a face of unrivaled beauty. As an added bonus, she indulged us all with liberal displays of her stomach and thighs, a most generous treat. This very moment, four different men had their lustful eyes trained on her. Of course, I viewed her through a “little sister” filter, so my perspective was a little biased.

“When was the last time you and I walked through town, just the two of us?” she asked.

“Ohhh, now that you mention it.” Excellent question. Wait, had we never done this before?

“Tee-hee-hee, your arm is miiine.” My little sister hugged my left arm. Éa had just a tiny, tiny bit on me heightwise, so she had to lean on me a little. Her modest bosom brushed against my elbow.

“Hey, come on.”

“Whaaat, it’s not like it costs you anything.”

“I hope not.”

I felt someone staring daggers at me from within the crowd.

Madame Beltriche, your glare is freaking me out. She’s my sister, you know. Is our party gonna be okay?

---

---

---

My inner turmoil took a back seat as we arrived at the Tower of Legions. The first part went smoothly without any incident worth sharing. The map proved incredibly accurate. We’d secured a straight shot through to the thirteenth floor—or so it seemed. In the end, we called it a day at the eleventh floor.

After successfully descending into the dungeon in the morning, we made it back to town around lunchtime. Needing more intel on our little problem, we headed straight for the pub. Why, you might ask, would we go to a bar instead of the Guild offices? Simple: The latter charged for its services. While this was perhaps not the most reliable avenue, we could always gather information that was hot off the presses at the bar. Not to mention that we would find an incredibly knowledgeable person at our haunt of choice; with any luck, he’d share a few tips for the price of lunch.

A cousin of King Remlia’s ran a pub called the Wild Ox and Silver Fox House. Just as I’d expected, it was bursting with people. That wasn’t unusual for the lunchtime rush, but there was something more at play here. I had everyone order their grub and grab a seat. Shuna, Bel, and Éa sat beside each other like always. Arvin and Zenobia found stools a bit farther down.

I spotted a throng of adventurers crowding up to the boss behind the counter and joined them. A few were people I recognized by sight but had never spoken to, initiates who’d started out at the same time I did.

“Calm down! Let’s go through this in order! First off, any unique characteristics?” the boss boomed.

Someone yelled, “It’s a turtle!” After that came cries of, “Snake!” “Lizard!” “Clam!” “Bear!” and “I ain’t never seen anythin’ like it!” Lastly someone else yelled out, “It’s a dragon!” and a hush fell over us all.

“None of you are making any sense. The only intelligible thing you’ve said so far is that something showed up on the eleventh floor.” Couldn’t have put it better myself. “Oi, Souya. You get a look at it, too?”

He caught me. I didn’t really want to draw attention to myself, but I couldn’t run away now. “Yeah. It stood about three stalts”—six meters—“tall, with the body of an enormous rock-eating turtle and the neck of a gigantic snake. It had what looked like dragon scales covering it all over. I’m not sure on the neck length, but I imagine it could stretch out to at least five stalts”—ten meters.

I’d tried tossing it a scrap of monster meat, and that neck had lashed out and snatched it quicker than I could follow. Strangely, though, it had spit out the slab without eating it.

“Its mouth was about one stalt”—two meters—“wide, big enough to swallow your standard adventurer whole. And there’s one more serious problem.” This snag had sent us packing and had brought all the other adventurers to the yard. “It’s settled down right by the stairwell to the twelfth floor and doesn’t look like it’s got any plans to leave.”

“Hmm, that so?” Boss zhuzhed his mohawk, deep in thought. “Anyone here use flamecraft?”

A spectacularly ripped specimen of a heim responded, “I’m an adept of the Jumichla Style. I bombarded it with fire, but that didn’t even register, much less inflict any damage on the beast.”

Murmurs flickered through the group. The magecraft used to create flames held tremendous power and was easy to learn, so any competent pyromancer knew how to wield it. If an adept couldn’t even scratch the thing, the less skilled wouldn’t have a ghost of a chance.

“How ’bout physical attacks?”

A hulking beastman answered the barkeep’s second question. “My mighty ax didn’t so much as crack its shell.” A heim would have a hell of a time just trying to carry the weapon he wielded. Unbreakable as it seemed, its blade had chipped away, leaving it looking like a saw.

“……Now I get it. You all have my thanks for passing on your hard-earned insights. I’m off to let the Guild know about this.”

Boss swung over the counter and shouted a message back to the kitchen. Lunch, it seemed, was on him for the day. This strategically charitable deed done, he exited the bar. The crowd let out a whooping cheer and disbanded. I heard the waitstaff and chefs wail.

For a brief moment, I lingered. This mysterious creature had left the boss, a hardened veteran, without an immediate answer. Was I the only one getting a bad feeling about this?

---

We split up for the day. I gave Éa, Shuna, and Bel some spending money and sent them off to run around. Arvin said he had something to do, so Zenobia and I settled in at a different watering hole. A small, privately owned establishment, it had a yellowed quest board still covered with job adverts whose deadlines had long passed. About ten people could fill the place. It didn’t seem very trendy, but I imagined it had a couple of regulars since it had clearly been there for years.

I quickly ordered a few small plates and drinks. They soon arranged them on the table: wine, hard bread, and bowls of soup nearly overflowing with cabbage and bacon. We might’ve hit the jackpot with this spot.

“So, something happen between you and Bel?”

“Koghff—!” I did a spit take with the spoonful of soup in my mouth at the jab Zenobia struck me with out of nowhere.

“Oookay, I see what’s going on here.”

“Wh-what is?” The hand I was holding my mug with shook from nerves.

“You see girls like her every once in a while. Instead of going for a normal, stable love, they fall for the dangerous, destructive types. Bel’s into the latter, of course. But looks aside, she’s still just a child emotionally. A married man must seem so mature to her, like someone you share your life with. Plus, this one’s her unofficial leader. Still, it’s strange. That little one’s a late bloomer through and through, you know. I just can’t see her making the first move unless she caught you dead to rights in a moment of weakness.”

Stop, Zenobia, please. That hits too close to home.

“So what is it?”

“Actually, this Lowomen disciple and I—” I accidentally started to reveal the truth.

“Not that. The thing you wanted me for. Hang on, what? Lowomen is a deity of servitude, right? If I’m not mistaken, the followers run a brothel, don’t—”

“I need to talk to you about Arvin.”

“Spill everything.”

I swerved the conversation into a hard left. His name was like a magic word with Zenobia.

Should I be worried about our party dynamics?

“The thing is, last night I ran into two knights of St. Lillideas. No offense to Arvin, but they were bottom-of-the-barrel asses. And I saw them abusing an elf, of all things.”

A gauntlet, a powerful item possessed by pretty useful curses, was wrapped around my right wrist. Wearing it seemed to make me lose my cool whenever elves were involved.

……No, maybe that’s just what hits close to home.

“Do me a favor and don’t go picking fights with lowlifes like that. You’re not the only one who’ll have to pay for it.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I let my emotions get the best of me. My point is, I wanted to ask you for some background info that relates to Arvin—and those two knights, actually, since they pray to her, too. St. Lillideas—what kind of goddess is she?” In the Other Dimension, the deity a person served told you a lot about them.

“You don’t even know that? Or so I want to say, but fair enough. This isn’t exactly common knowledge for an Otherworlder, is it?” She took a sip of her wine to wet her whistle and began to explain. “Do you know the tale of the silver pieces?”

“The one about the king of the beasts?” I recalled the story Ghett had told me and repeated it to her.

It revolved around this king, ruler of all beastfolk, who declared open war on elves, dwarves, and heims—so-called “manfolk.” He backed them into a corner, only for the tides to turn when they fought back with weapons made of “sinister spectral silver” or “sinispectral silver.” This lost him the war and instilled deep in the hearts of manfolk a hatred of beastfolk that still seethes to this day. Later, that sinispectral silver was converted into currency and spread throughout the Great Land as a check on the beastfolk, a threat that could easily be refashioned into weapons if they ever—

“That’s not exactly it,” Zenobia cut in. “He wasn’t the king of the beasts but the king of beastfolk.” It seemed merfolk and heims saw things differently. “And he was vanquished by a great king of men named Rha Warz Duin Gargantua. He had eight children, who would later be known as ‘the beast-hunting kings.’ Lillideas was their life partner. She supported them behind the scenes, had a great hand in founding Ellusion, and produced the greatest and strongest monarchy in the history of man. This honor earned her a place among the Legion Gods.

“Of course, it’s not like she was betrothed to all of them. In Ellusion, they model their system of governance after the royal family and select eight popes. Each takes care of military, domestic, international, or economic affairs, et cetera, and inherits the name of the original prince their duties correspond to. If the name of the prince St. Lillideas married ever came to light, the power balance would shift toward that pope. That’s why her husband’s name is a closely held secret in Ellusion and in the Church of St. Lillideas.”

But Zenobia’s account wasn’t quite right, either. According to the merfolk, the king of men had transformed into a beast himself and ordered his children to kill themselves. It was only natural to want to sugarcoat that, but something about his name had stuck with me.

The great king of heims: Rha Warz Duin Gargantua.

The king of the beasts: Rha Guzüri Duin Olossal.

The shared portions of their names couldn’t be mere coincidence. And one more thing: It felt like I’d heard the name Duin before somewhere else.

“Zenobia, can I ask you something? A merman friend of mine told me the king’s name was Rha Guzüri Du—”

She threw herself across the table and clamped my mouth shut. An empty bottle crashed; everyone stared at us. I caught the food she’d sent flying.

“H-how could you?!” Zenobia stared at me in alarm. The other patrons seemed to think, Ah, just a lover’s quarrel, and lost interest. “Don’t you ever say that name out loud, especially not the rest.”

When she removed her hand, I asked, “Huh? Why not?”

“It’s a hidden, forbidden name, a curse to all heims. My master devoted himself to studying it, but they labeled him a heretic and exiled him from Ellusion. Then one night, he got absolutely plastered and told me just a portion of it. The following day, he cut off one of his own ears in front of me, saying, ‘I told you nothing. Should you ever discover the remainder of the name and chant it, an unspeakable calamity against which this atonement cannot compare will befall you.’ So I erased it from my mind. I’d forgotten it all this time until now! What’s your problem?!”

“I’m sorry.” I’d messed up and said the wrong thing. I should have been more careful as an outsider, yet I’d let curiosity get the best of me and regretted it.

“Listen to me, okay? You are never to voice that name again. Ever. Under any circumstances. Promise me.”

“I promise. I won’t ever say it again.”

“You’re lucky that I don’t have ties to the Church of St. Lillideas, you know. You could get executed for that, executed! Crucified, then burned at the stake. There wouldn’t even be any ashes of you left.”

“I’m really so sorry. I was negligent.”

“Excuse me! Another drink, please!” On me, of course.

Just then I got word from Isolla. “Squad Member Souya, do you have a moment?”

“Go ahead.” Zenobia stared at me questioningly. It’s a message, I mouthed.

“Sir Arvin, the line is established. Go ahead.”

“Right,” I heard him reply. “Souya? Can you read me?” Now his voice came through the receiver.

“Yeah, loud and clear.”

“I need you to come to the Guild right away. The Guildmaster’s called in all level-fifteen delvers and below. It’s got something to do with that monster.”

“Got it. I’m on my way.” I hung up. Zenobia considered me as if inspecting a mysterious item.

“A handy little device, that. Who was it?”

“Arvin. The Guildmaster’s making some announcement about the monster. I’m gonna head on over. What about you?”

“I’ll stay for another round. This wine is delicious.”

Suit yourself, I thought, putting a few extra coins down before leaving.

In no time at all, I arrived at the Adventurer’s Guild, located on the first floor of the dungeon.

A throng of people packed the in-house Guild bar. I spotted the back of Arvin’s head and caught up to him. We exchanged quick glances in greeting. I saw a few more familiar faces in the crowd. Everyone had their eyes turned toward a fair, slight young boy with almost decoratively small wings sprouting from his back. He was the kind of beautiful lad whom women who liked younger men would want to instantly lunge at.

“Twenty-three people, is it?” he counted. “I guess that’ll have to do.”

Despite appearances to the contrary, he was in fact the Guildmaster. Appearances didn’t really give you much to go by with people in the Other Dimension.

“Today, I have an announcement on behalf of the Adventurer’s Guild regarding the monster that has appeared on the eleventh floor. After consulting with materials in the High Tower Library, Remlian adventurers’ tales, Windovnickel, and Lord Rasta ole Rhasvah’s extensive knowledge, we have been able to confirm no prior evidence of this particular creature and have therefore determined it is an entirely new breed. We have named the beast Dragonoise Mydranga and designated it a new Dark Crowned monster.”

Creatures were given the “Dark Crowned” title to essentially put a bounty on their heads. A wide range of attributes could earn them the designation, such as interfering with adventurers’ explorations, possessing some specialized capacity to breed unusually quickly, or intentionally targeting adventurers over other monsters. The only constants: They were universally strong foes, a suicide mission for the bargain-bin adventurer, and whoever took them down would be in for an extravagant reward from the king, one that came with great honor.

A ripple of excitement washed over the crowd.

“We believe the creature appeared in part due to overhunting on the tenth floor. The destabilization in the ecosystem there caused a Great King Turtle to instantly mutate into something very closely resembling a dragon. Needless overhunting never fails to later rain down as calamity. May you all keep this in mind,” he continued, smiling wickedly.

“Now then, most of you gathered here have yet to delve deeper than the fifteenth floor. The reason I called you here specifically was to grant you temporary leave to attempt to slay this Dragonoise Mydranga before everyone else. You will have only three days to accomplish this, however. After those three days, I will give the task to the general adventuring public. And make no mistake, if this happens, elite adventurers will slay it from right under your noses.

“This foe is strong, formidable. Nevertheless, the opportunity to encounter a Dark Crown in the lower levels is nigh unheard of. This is your chance to earn honor. I’ll post the details on the quest board. Do carefully consider the implications before you attempt to fill it. In any event, take care not to throw your lives away. That is all.”

The moment the Guildmaster left, the throng made a frenzied rush for the door. After a few minutes, no one but Arvin and me remained. Most of the others had been leaders of their respective parties. In all likelihood, they’d sprinted off to fill their party members in on the news, each one spurred on by ambition. A sign of a true adventurer, you might say.

“So Souya. What’s our move?”

I took a seat to chew over Arvin’s question. He sat directly across from me. We’d gone up against the dragonoise once, so we had a reasonable amount of intel on it.

Physical attacks didn’t hold much promise. Standard arrows hadn’t left a scratch, and I doubted even Shuna’s sword could slice through that shell. Mythlanic arrows were an option, but I wasn’t sure I’d get the opportunity to deliver a fatal blow. Plus, they were too expensive. If I didn’t watch how much I spent on them, I’d go broke and wouldn’t be able to delve at all. And even if we started making more now, we’d only get six tops done in time. Not to mention that I’d have to blow every last coin to my name to do it.

So what about magic, then? It wasn’t totally out of the question, as long as Lana’s MP could fully recover within the three-day time limit. Mages in this dimension generally fell into one of two factions. Those who followed the Jumichla school of thought proclaimed magic was “a supportive force flowing alongside the work of personkind.” Those who subscribed to the Hoense camp asserted magic was “a destructive force beyond comprehension.”

Lana studied under the Hoense School, an intensely martial-arts-focused collective otherwise known as the “Clever Meatheads.” People derided their techniques as bloodthirsty, heinous, and ruinous. According to Zenobia, not even the magicians of the royal court could conjure the extremely advanced Dragbane attack, modeled after a dragon’s destructive breath, that Lana had cast. Not only that, but the raging flames it unleashed would have burned that entire floor of the dungeon to the ground if she hadn’t worked some incomprehensibly complex restraint into the incantation to suppress and shrink it to scale.

Watch for the beauty

With the enormous bosom—

A crazy-powerful mage.

Not the most technically sound haiku, but you get the idea—my wife was freakin’ incredible.

Maybe we’ll have to rely on her again for this battle, too—no, I’d really hate to do that. I don’t want to work her too hard.

I still didn’t have a clear grasp on how excessively draining her magic could affect her in the long run. She insisted it wouldn’t lead to anything more serious than “a little coma,” but apparently these bouts of unconsciousness put mages in such a precarious situation that they also went by “lethal slumbers.” It wasn’t unusual for a caster to never wake from one. The word around town was that they could also cut their life spans short.

Lana hadn’t mentioned anything to me about these incredibly vital matters, especially when it came to her body. I’d tried asking her, but she would always casually brush off my inquiries. This princess was a real handful. Not that I didn’t get where she was coming from.

“I…can’t decide right away. Sorry,” I apologized after the longish time it’d taken to collect my thoughts. “I’ll give you an answer by tomorrow. What are you thinking, Arvin?” That promise of glory must look pretty good to him.

“I think…………………………,” he started, then froze. Not a single muscle in his body so much as twitched.

I ordered a drink. A little while later, my lukewarm, diluted fruit juice came out. It quenched my thirst a bit, but it’d take more sugar than this to power my brain.

“………………Oh, I want to try to slay it.” Took you long enough. Has he always taken forever to respond to things? Or has he got something on his mind?

He continued. “That being said, I’m coming up completely blank as to how. I have no doubts I can keep everyone safe behind my shield, but taking it down is absolutely beyond me.”

“Yeah, I’m in pretty much the same boat. But—”

“Arvin!” someone called out behind me. Curious, he turned in the direction of the voice.

“Sir…Werner?” He sprang from his chair looking for all the world like a beaming little kid. An ominous feeling seized me.

“I hardly expected to see you here! Have you fared well? How far down have you delved?” the voice asked.

“Yes, I’m getting on just fine. I’ve successfully made it down to the eleventh floor, my lord.”

The young man in a knight’s armor and Arvin embraced like old friends. A gruff man lingered behind them; his face hardened a little when he met my gaze. Similar designs adorned their matte white armor plating; none of them wore helmets.

Threads of silver wove delicate designs across the cape draped loosely over the young man’s shoulders. An engraved brooch bearing the likeness of a beast clasped the exquisite garment together. And a huge, gratuitously extravagant sword I knew all too well hung at his hip.

“I hear a Dark Crowned monster has appeared at a shallow level in the dungeon. You must know you’ll never again see such a golden chance to make a name for yourself. Surely this is divine guidance from St. Lillideas, Arvin. I have every faith you can vanquish the beast.”

“You’re far too kind, Sir Werner. I cannot help but take heart at such encouraging words from the man we all expect to become the hero of our generation.”

“Hmm? And who is this? A member of your party?” asked the caped man, referring to me.

“Ye— N-no, this is a friend of mine, leader of his own party. He often gives me counsel, as I hardly have any idea what I’m doing.”

I’d been hoping to ignore the guy, but I couldn’t leave Arvin hanging. Turning to face the asshat I’d met at the parlor, I greeted him by saying, “Nice to meet you. I’m just a regular adventurer by the name of Souya.”

“Pleasure to make your acquaintance. I’m Werner Carbezzo, a knight of St. Lillideas. It’s a relief to know my master’s younger disciple is in such capable hands.”

In addition to sharing Arvin’s blond hair and blue eyes, Werner had an irritatingly handsome-ish face and long, pin-straight locks. He no doubt took advantage of that shiny exterior to hook village maidens and abuse them behind closed doors. That aside, he was shorter and less physically fit than Arvin. And when you took his style, personality, and treatment of women into account, he didn’t even measure up to Arvin’s ankles as a man.

“Arvin, how long it’s been,” the boorish knight greeted him next.

“Sir Luxgarre, you’re looking as unassailable as ever.”

“I intend to keep serving as a knight attendant to our heroes for at least another thirty years. My real concern is whether this unyieldingly trying hero can learn to stand on his own two feet by then.”

“If it’s rest you seek, Luxgarre, how would you care to begin that retirement today?” Werner proposed, his expression deadly serious.

“Oh, how you jest. Grievances concerning you will always find their way to me. I will have no rest.” He waved off the threat with what was perhaps a very practiced hand.

“I’m relieved to see things are the same as ever between you two,” noted Arvin. He looked around as if searching for someone, then asked, “And what of Sanperié? Is he off on an individual errand today?”

“Hardly, he’s—”

Luxgarre cut his ward off. “Sanperié has gone missing. He took off unaccompanied to explore the thirteenth floor, wandered astray, and simply vanished.”

“Aye, probably long dead now.”

“Werner!” He barked angrily at the other knight for the thoughtless remark, drawing several Guild employees’ attention. “I am sorry, Arvin. But now that our orders to monitor Neomia have been lifted, we’ll set out in search of him once more.”

“Excuse me for prying,” I began on behalf of my vanguard, who was shocked speechless, “but when exactly did this Sanperié go missing?”

“Sixty days ago,” replied Luxgarre. There was almost no hope he’d survived. Nobody had ever spent that long in the dungeon and lived to tell the tale. The longest record I’d heard was ten days. “I’m well aware of what that means. If nothing else, however, I would like to retrieve his remains.”

“I swear, even in death he insists on making our lives difficult,” snorted Werner. “Arvin, you should have been the one to come with us. With your talent, this never would have happened.”

I glowered at him for his flippant tone and attempt to pass the blame. “You’re the leader of your party?” I asked.

“What a ludicrous question. Who better to take command than the hero?”

This man spoke with absolutely zero sense of accountability. He had no conception of the burdens or responsibility a leader must bear. I kept going.

“In that case, the blame for any casualties falls entirely on you. This man may have acted without orders, but it’s your fault for not being able to stop him. How dare you call yourself a leader if you don’t even understand this most fundamental aspect of—”

“Please, Souya, enough,” warned Arvin, and I held my tongue. His Heroicness turned his wrath toward me, the veins in his face bulging. “I apologize for the disrespect my friend has shown you. Please, I beg of you to do all you can for Sanperié. If at all possible, I hope you can return him to his family.”

Werner said nothing, so Luxgarre stepped in. “We’ll do everything in our power.”

With a click of his tongue, His Heroicness turned on his heel looking disgruntled, then left Arvin with a few parting words. “I expect great things from you regarding that Dark Crown. Depending on your performance, I may give your sister’s situation some consideration.”

What an asshole. He almost certainly knew Arvin could do nothing about that, but here Sexual Predator #2 was pressuring Arvin anyway. In case you’re curious, the title of Sexual Predator #1 belonged to this kingdom’s prince.

Arvin trudged sadly back to his seat, his shoulders drooping. I called a waitress over, then ordered salted pork and some strong liquor.

“What was Sanperié like?” I asked softly.

“Hmm? ……Oh, he was three years younger than me and came from proper knightly lineage.” The alcohol arrived, so I poured us both a glass. It was scalding to the touch, but my companion threw it back in one gulp. “I’m an illegitimate child, you know, so knights of pedigree always looked down on me. Sanperié was the only one to ever train with me as an equal.”

After that, he told me the story of Sanperié the knight—a run-of-the-mill tale of friendship, so to speak. Some people in this realm first judge a person by their origins and social standing. Conversely, some first try to see the person before concerning themselves with lineage or stock. Sanperié clearly belonged to the latter group. He did not view Arvin, a bastard raised in the slums, as some curious oddity, but rather treated him as he would any other peer. He must have been of a truly singular breed, especially in this world.

Together, he and Arvin had studied under the renowned Zammonglace, sharpening their skills against each other in friendly rivalry. Then one day, those talents caught the eye of a descendant of the great heroes. The two received orders to join the knights of St. Lillideas, and their friendship solidified into an indestructible bond. It goes without saying that their relationship went unchanged even after Arvin was stripped of his rank for his great-uncle’s failed assassination attempt. In fact, Sanperié had pleaded his friend’s case before the popes, and, when that had not prevailed, had urged his own father to adopt Arvin.

In the end, Arvin could not recover his title and was banished from Ellusion. But maybe, just maybe, given the fact that his entire family except his elder sister had been executed, he suspected that Sanperié had managed to lessen his sentence to demotion and exile. To this day, Arvin regretted not looking Sanperié in the eye when they’d last parted.

Had Sanperié joined the hero’s entourage and come here by pure coincidence? If the weather or sea routes they’d taken had drifted only slightly differently, they might not have missed each other. And if only they’d been reunited, perhaps this fate could have been avoided.

“I see.” After listening to Arvin reminisce, I remarked, “But man, this liquor must be really something.”

I looked down at Arvin, completely wasted after only two bottles. He lay flat on his face across the table muttering something unintelligible. My entire life, I’d never known what it was like to have a best friend. The one person I’d felt a connection with had betrayed and left me stranded overseas under essentially indentured conditions. The many vital lessons I’d learned then came in handy for my life here. When you put it that way, maybe I was lucky to have had that experience. Not that I held any resentment anymore. I’d paid all my debts and then some.

“Friends, huh?” I mused.

Scum of times past aside, Arvin and I put our lives in each other’s hands, and he always braved the front lines for our party as our shield. Yes, the man completely wasted before me was the very definition of a friend. I would do anything and everything within my power for him. For instance, I’d risk my life at the drop of a hat. The problem was figuring out what I could do to help.

“Souya.”

“Hmm?” Suddenly, I found Zenobia standing next to me.

“What’s all this?” She took in Arvin’s drunken stupor and narrowed her eyes.

“Would you mind giving me a hand?” I asked. “I need to carry him back to his lodgings.”

“Fine.”

After I settled our bill, she and I each took him by a shoulder and lugged him out of the bar.

“Why was he drinking? He’s such a lightweight.”

“Oh, I didn’t know.”

My bad. But sometimes you needed a little alcohol to help you forget. I dropped Arvin off at his inn not too far away and asked Zenobia to look after him. Before I left, I made sure to say one more thing to him:

---

---

“No matter what, we are going to slay that monster. I promise.”

---

We had a ton of things to do and only three days to do them all. Equipment had to be made, skills had to be rechecked, and intel on the enemy had to be gathered. We couldn’t ignore what other parties were up to, either. In my estimation, out of all the other rookie parties, only two seemed to have what it would take to put the monster down: an ultra-brainy and -brawny all-beastfolk party, and a super-firepower one comprised only of mages—from the Hoense School at that. No other group could conceivably stand a chance of slaying the creature on day one. Still, this didn’t seem like a foe you could defeat off the cuff. We’d need to use every last minute we had to prepare and strategize.

Admittedly, I’d already promised Arvin we would slay the thing “no matter what,” but I wouldn’t so much as attempt it unless we came up with a workable plan. I’d call on my traditional culture and apologize prostrate in dogeza if need be. We’d have plenty more opportunities to take on Dark Crowned monsters in the future, but we’d never get to see them if we died here. I could risk my own life as I pleased, but I couldn’t stake the existences of others on a bet we had little chance of winning.

In any event, Lana remained my biggest concern. Our party’s firepower varied exponentially according to whether she could come. Which was why I lost all words when I got back to camp.

“Lana!” She’d collapsed on the ground. I put my arms around her and sat her up.

“We……welcome…back, darling.”

“What happened to you?! Machina! Machina, where are you?!”

“Here I am.” Machina spun round and round as she got closer, looking less chipper than usual.

“What is going on? What happened to Lana’s—”

“You’d best see for yourself. Please watch this.”

Nothing made any sense to me. Machina brought up a video on the screen installed in her torso. Taken from a bird’s-eye view of the camp, it showed Lana hunched over, digging a hole in the ground with a stick like a petulant child. My machine assistant stood at her side.

“Mistress Lana, did you not find lunch today to your liking? It did not seem like you had much of an appetite. Shall I prepare a light snack for you?”

“No, thank you. It will only taste bitter if I eat it alone.”

“I could wake Lady Mythlanica if you like. All we’d need is some meat and a little alcohol to lure her out of her—”

“I’m fine, thank you.” What a lovely way to treat my goddess.

Lana stared glumly at her ryvius. Her magic levels had only crept back up by the tiniest hair. “Machina, I’m holding everyone back. They’re all out their risking their lives, yet here I am lazing away at home.”

“That’s not true in the slightest, Mistress. Resting your body well for the next expedition is a vital part of the adventurer profession.”

“Perhaps, but if all I do is drain my magic, then rest, drain my magic, then rest, eventually I won’t be able to keep up with the others—I’m sure of it. I had no idea elven mages placed such a heavy burden on their parties. I’m a terrible woman.”

“Please do not be so hard on yourself. It will surely make Mr. Souya sad as well. Is there any way I could help? There is nothing I wouldn’t do to ease your mind.”

“W-well, there is one favor I’d like to ask, if I may?”

“Of course! Anything you wish!”

Lana’s gloomy face lit up just a touch. “Could you…teach me how to cook? As a woman, I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve never once in my life so much as toasted a slice of bread, made the simplest soup, or even taken a knife to meat or vegetables. Pulverizing and burning do come easily to me, though.”

“I can absolutely help you with this. But I must warn you, I do not go easy on anyone when it comes to the culinary arts. Prepare yourself for strict criticism. Now then, let’s begin by reviewing proper handwashing techniques.”

“I’ll do my best.”

Machina led Lana to the sink and had her thoroughly lather up, from the spaces between her fingers all the way to the tips. Next, they started washing rice. Machina reprimanded Lana for putting too much force into it. They discarded the starchy water, refilled the pot with the proper amount, then set it over the fire. The pot they used was a “pressure cooker” we’d made ourselves. As a matter of fact, the Mythlanic arrows were a by-product of the process. Stews, soups, and even rice cooked perfectly in this magic pot.

Neither of them moved while they waited for it to finish.

“To tell you the truth, staring into the fire has always had a powerful calming effect on me, ever since I was little. It’s like all my thoughts melt away and my mind grows cold and quiet.”

“Y-you don’t say,” Machina responded, a little disturbed at Lana’s admission. Twenty minutes later, the rice had cooked. “Now we uncover it slightly and let the rice cool for about ten minutes.”

“Okay.”

The robot rushed to put out the fire. Lana watched, sad to see it dwindle. Next, Machina laid the contents of our condiments-and-spices box on the kitchen counter and brought a few items out of the pantry to use as fillings. Clearly, her lesson was meant to help Lana build a sense of autonomy.

Ten minutes after that, they removed the lid from the pot and fluffed the rice with a wooden paddle.

“This looks beautifully cooked. Now, add a few pinches of salt and mix it in, yes, just like that, Mistress. All you have to do now is mold these into a ball and you’ll have made a most traditional Japanese dish—the onigiri, or rice ball. However, an overly standard affair might not hold much excitement, so please use your judgment to add whatever seasoning or filling you think Mr. Souya might like. The rice is still hot, so please dip your hands in cold water and spread a bit of salt on them before you handle it.”

Lana studied her options. All the spices had labels that Machina had pasted onto them so Éa or Lady Mythlanica would not faint from agony if she got into a particularly hot seasoning.

“It should be something tasty… Oh, I know. I’ll add some honey.”

“Shwaat?!” Lana dumped a whole jar of honey into the rice. A shocked emoji flashed up on Machina’s screen.

“Oops, that’s a little too much. We don’t want it to be too sweet, so I’ll add some more salt.”

“Mistress, that’s a bittern—” In went a mound of it.

“Souya does like fish.”

“Let’s at least rinse it out first before—” Lana tossed a whole dried fish in the pot.

“He also likes to add cheese and pepper to things, doesn’t he?” She plopped in a block of cheese and vigorously shook pepper into the mix.

“If you would, Mistress, it’s best to consider how much of everything you—”

“Machina, cooking is so much fun, isn’t it?”

“Indeed! But we must be careful with our measurements!”

Lana had clearly perked up. “Next, let’s add some mayonnaise, a demon’s pinkie, medicinal shoots salt, and umm, what’s this? I’m not sure, but let’s try putting it in. Souya loves vegetables, so I’ll bet he’d like some of these new varieties of potatoes, eggplants, carrots, and tomatoes. Oh wait, they’re still raw. Let me cook them with some flamecraft.” She slammed a fireball into the pot. I could almost see the soul of each ingredient, along with any flavor it had once possessed, ascend to the heavens.

“Oh no-no-no-no, oh no-no-no-no-no-no, oh no-no-no-no,” Machina panicked in perfect five-seven-five haiku form.

“Ha-ha! This is fun!” Lana grew even more excited. No longer satisfied with the ingredients before her, she dug some mysterious liquids and plants out from her personal belongings. When lobbing all that in failed to satisfy her, she began to chant. A small portal yawned open midair and rained big, black drops of something down into the pot.

Wait, what is that? Seriously, what in the Legion Gods’ names is that?!

“Haah. It feels a little underdone, but it is my first try, so I suppose I’ll leave it at that.” Give me a break, I thought.

The rice in the pot had turned into a liquid goop. It gurgled and boiled, bubbles rising to the surface along with an unidentified floating object. I desperately wanted to be wrong, but I thought I saw some strange creature swimming inside the pot.

“Mistress, may I check the taste?”

“Of course. And please be brutally honest with your assessment.”

Machina dipped her taste sensor into the pot. Instantly, a blaring red alert accompanied by untold numbers of emergency warnings popped up on her screen.

“……” The AI fell silent, her train of thought probably an inch from falling off the rails. If her stress meter had been visible, I bet we would have seen it skyrocketing.

“How is it? I knew it… It’s dreadful, right? I was a fool to think I could ever make something good.” Lana sounded crestfallen.

Machina flew into panic mode. “Th-that’s not true! I’m positive Mr. Souya will happily eat every last bite!”

Hey, hold on!

“Do you really think so? Thank goodness. I lost control for a minute there and honestly don’t really know what I’ve made, but that’s such a relief to hear. Let me take a taste, too.” She picked up a ladle with one hand and scooped up some of the soup(?).

“Mistress! Don’t, it’s too dangerous!”

“Huh? Ugh…brggh.” The smell alone knocked her unconscious.

The end.

“And now you’re all caught up.”

I patted Lana’s head to say, You did your best. “And what did you do with that bomb in the making?”

“Considering the devastating impact it may unleash on the local environment, I’ve created a level-four bio safety management system for it, placed it in secure storage, and sealed it away.”

Did my wife accidentally make a biohazardous weapon? Wait, does that mean my beloved pressure cooker is gone?

“D-darling…” Lana placed a trembling hand on my cheek. “Do not mourn me if I die. Whatever else you do, though, promise me you’ll never take Lanceil as your next wife.”

“Machina, is Lana’s condition that serious?!”

“No, she is merely exceedingly depressed.”

“……”

“Eeeyaaah!” She let out an odd wail as I squeezed her supple body with all my strength, then picked her up and carried her to a chair.

“Lana, you’re out of magic.”

“……I’m sorry.”

Checking her ryvius, I saw the MP meter had hit rock bottom again. We had no hope. She could never recover from this in three days. But I couldn’t get angry at her for it—I wasn’t that cruel. And that had absolutely nothing to do with the way her plump bottom felt against my thighs. I only wanted to reward her for trying to cook something for me, though this did seem a little thicker and bigger than I’d imagined, and had a totally different quality from her breasts, but— Wait, what was I thinking? Ah, her hair has a nice soapy scent.

Nope. I just couldn’t get my thoughts in order.

“Machina, get some of the king’s sugar, eggs, flour, and cheese out for me. Also a bowl, a whisk, and that biggish tray we have, remember? I only need the egg yolks.”

“Okaaay. I’ll get some oilpaper, too.”

My brain was probably running low on sugar. His Highness would never find out if I borrowed a bit from his stash, which worked out perfectly since we’d gone through almost all our reserves from the modern world. I could’ve bought more, but sugar and honey sold for astronomical prices here.

“Lana, would you mind getting up?” As much as I didn’t want to stop holding her, it would be a bit tricky to work with her in my arms.

“I don’t want to.” She wrapped both arms around my neck and squeezed tight. A waft of something aside from the soap, a calming, herbal fragrance, hit me and cleaned out my memory.

What was I doing again? Oh, right, baking.

After I had Machina sanitize my hands, I got down to it. First, I dropped the sugar and egg yolks in the bowl and mixed them up with a whisk until they came to resemble something like mayonnaise in consistency. Then I added the flour and used a spatula to fold it in. Once the dough was able to retain its shape, I started rolling it into balls about the size of a five-hundred-yen coin and stuck a little cheese inside. With Machina’s help, we soon had a whole array of balls lined up on a tray.

“Take it away, Machina.”

“Takiiing.” She picked up the tray. I thought she’d spin off, but she instead started shuffling away like a person, careful not to drop our creations. Exactly what kind of system these two robots used to get around still baffled me. She popped the tray in the oven, giving me a few minutes to cuddle with my wife. Personally, I felt like I was doing my best to show my true feelings, but I still couldn’t manage anything more than putting my hand by the small of her back. Sooner or later, I needed to grow the hell up.

Lana readjusted her arms and pulled herself even closer to me, flashing me a dazzling smile. I could never say no to that grin. I’d do anything for it. By the way, all of this was perfectly legal.

Damn, I could so easily stop caring about anything and everything. One could argue that deepening ties with a lady has more inherent value than delving deeper in a dungeon, no? From an evolutionary and masculine perspective.

“They’re reaaady,” Machina chirped. Fifteen minutes had already passed. My man Einstein had hit the nail on the head—any time you spend with a lovely lady flies by.

“Oh, that smells heavenly,” Lana cooed in delight.

Machina picked up one of the balls to check its temperature and sent her taste-checking sensor through it while at it.

“What’s the verdict?”

“Eighty points.” She curled her hand into a thumbs-up and placed the tray of sweets in front of us.

“What are these?! What are they?!” Lana’s spirits soared. I’d had no idea she loved sweets this much.

“They’re egg cookies called tamago boro.” Everyone in Japan loved them, from tiny babes to adults hooked on the nostalgic taste. They were the only sweets I knew how to bake.

“Aaah.” My wife opened her mouth. Wait, does this mean what I think it means?

Machina flashed a note reading Feed it to her across her screen. Message received. I picked out one of the still-warm cookies and placed it on Lana’s tongue.

“What do you think?”

“Mm-mmm ♪,” she murmured, kicking her legs in delight. “More! I want another one, please!”

“On it.” Like a bird feeding his little chick, I shuttled her more cookies. My elven princess seemed to find them irresistible. Scratch that, she couldn’t stop. She munched and munched and devoured the egg cookies. You weren’t really meant to eat so many of these in one sitting, but feeding them to her was too much fun to stop. Her mouth soon dried up and she could swallow them no longer, but she kept stuffing them in until her cheeks inflated like a squirrel’s. I had Machina whip up some hot tea to serve her.

“Mmm, these are incredibly delicious.”

“I’m glad you liked them.”

“Likewise.”

Ms. Lana, would you kindly remove yourself from my lap? My private parts beneath your bouncing bum are almost at their breaking point.

“Excuse me, Mistress, but…… Hmm?”

“What’s the matter?” asked Lana. Machina approached her with a curious expression. Just as I was wondering why, she took Lana’s ryvius in her hand.

“Huh?” I blurted out. My wife’s magic had been restored back to pre–“rice balls from hell” levels.

“Hmm? Whaaat?!” she gasped, unable to conceal her own astonishment. “Oh! Perhaps this is—”

“Lana! Do you know what’s going on?!” Nothing would beat finding a way to quickly replenish her magic.

“Is this the power of our love? Of the bond between us?!” I pinched her cheeks at the ridiculous suggestion.

“Whaah ahh you doooin’?”

“Excuse me a moment, if I may?”

“Go ahead, Private Machina.” Lana would never get to the bottom of it, so I passed the problem over to my assistant.

“I believe we most likely have the sugar to thank for this.” That seemed most probable, but something still wasn’t adding up.

“But I’ve been giving her carbohydrates almost every meal.”

“This is only a supposition, but perhaps elves’ bodies function differently from those of humans like you, Mr. Souya. For example, maybe any sugar they consume alongside dietary fiber can’t be absorbed and is therefore expelled from their systems? Or maybe their digestive tracts have a difficult time absorbing saccharides in general, with the exception of sugar made from a combination of sucrose and glucose? A variety of possibilities come to mind, but we’ll only reach any certainty after further inspection.”

“Lana, elves basically only eat vegetables, right?”

“Yes. Thinking back on it now, we’re not much different than rabbits or sheep.” Kind of a questionable take on your own people, huh?

“Have you ever had any sugary sweets before now?”

“Once, long ago, when I was still a little girl without any talent for magic.” While mulling that information over, I fed her another egg cookie.

“Mr. Souya, would you allow me to handle this matter? I will adjust our dietary configuration and create the most effective meal plan for restoring magic. I guarantee it.”

“You’re hired.”

“Leave it to me, boss.” Had we stumbled on an unexpected breakthrough?

[45TH DAY]

Early next afternoon, I had Bel and Zenobia come out to camp.

“So what’s this plan you mentioned?”

Lana took it on herself to answer Zenobia’s question. “There’s a secret rite taught in the Hoense School of magic called a ‘compound paean.’ In simple terms, it’s a method that dramatically increases the potency of a spell through having several mages from different magical backgrounds chant as one.”

“Excuse me, Lana, but I’m not all that great at magic,” offered Bel, raising her hand.

“That’s quite all right, Lady Bel,” she reassured her.

“Please, there’s no need for the ‘Lady.’ You’re too kind.”

“Well then, Bel, how powerful your magic or Lady Zenobia’s is doesn’t much matter since I’ll be handling the incantation’s composition myself. All I’d like you to do is carefully choose the god or goddess to whom you’ll pray.”

Zenobia raised her hand. “What sort of spell should we use? Also, you can drop the ‘Lady’ for me, too.”

“Thank you, Zenobia. I’d like for us to try casting as many offensive incantations as we can today, in unison. That way, I can put together a good combination based on those fluctuations.”

“Isn’t there perhaps a more efficient approach? I’m sure we can’t really afford to waste all your magic, Lana.”

She puffed out her generous chest at Zenobia’s question. “There’s a proverb my master always used to quote which goes, ‘Those who fail the most step closest to wisdom.’ The history of spellcraft is an unending repetition of trial and error, of divine fury and miracles. Efficiency plays no part in any of it. And regarding my mana, Souya will find a way around that, so please don’t let it concern you!”

Bel and Zenobia clapped in appreciation.

“Now, I’ve arranged targets for us to practice on not too far away, so let’s head over there.”

“Yes, Miss Lana!” Bel followed her happily. Zenobia’s face remained impassive.

Machina and I watched the three of them head off into the meadow, then turned to our own preparations. I hooked a water bottle to a drone, sent it flying into the atmosphere, and had it hover as high as it could go.

“This isn’t very efficient, is it? Speaking of, haven’t you figured out how to make a fridge yet, Machina?”

“I do apologize, but the instructions in my database for producing refrigerants were corrupted, so it will still take some time. If Archimedes would agree to lend its help, however, that would be a different story.”

“Well, not much we can do there.”

Archimedes was the construction program inside Machina. Currently at around 70 percent repaired, it already possessed a fully functional personality, but it had been proving incredibly uncooperative. Part of the blame for that lay with me.

Not too long ago, I’d ordered Machina to dismantle Nightingale, the medical program still under repair at the time, to extract information I needed for Éa’s operation. Seeing this, the cooking program had gone ballistic. Machina had had no choice but to destroy it, too, and consume the information it held for herself. From Archimedes’s perspective, a human’s unreasonable request had turned artificial intelligence personalities into cannibals. I could see why that might make the programs who’d survived the episode suspicious of me.

Suddenly, we heard a crack like thunder. It reverberated from the direction in which Lana and the others had headed. Evidently, they’d also gotten to work. Machina prepared some whipped cream from milk, butter, and lemon, which she—

“No peeking!”

“Aw, come onnn.” But rubbing her the wrong way would only come back to bite me in the butt, so I did as she said. I heard a whiirrrrrr-ing noise come from behind me. Just as I found myself without anything left to do, I got a message from Isolla.

“What’s up?” I asked her.

“I have a progress report for you. Are you indisposed?”

“It’s fine. Go ahead.” I settled into a seat. Lady Mythlanica jumped on my lap, so I started massaging her neck.

“As of this moment, eight parties have attempted to slay the dragonoise, and none have been successful. Like we anticipated, physical attacks have no impact on the beast. When it comes to magical attacks, the monster completely neutralizes all flamecraft, as previously reported.”

Truth was, we’d installed a camera and a data transmitter by the staircase the day before. As soon as any party descended to the tenth floor, it would send us the recorded video. I’d dispatched Arvin and Shuna down to the dungeon temporarily to set it up.

“However, a mage from the Hoense School did manage to leave a crack in the monster’s shell by launching an ice spear at it. That may be the clue we need to plan our offensive.”

Ice, huh? I’ve never seen that kind of magic before, but I guess I’ll ask Lana about it.

A series of successive explosions boomed in the distance.

“Squad Member Souya, we must defeat Dragonoise Mydranga at all costs.”

“Sure, if we can come up with a bright idea.” We were already on the second day of the allotted time, with all the odds still stacked against us. Personally speaking, that method of refilling Lana’s magic was already an excellent discovery. It would definitely give us a great advantage in our expeditions, so I didn’t want to get greedy.

“What’s the matter? This is unlike you. The Squad Member Souya I know is at his best when his back is against the wall, just as it is now. Put some spirit into it.”

“Isolla, why are you so gung ho about this?” The combat program I knew was far more cold-blooded and heartless. Not that AIs had blood, of course.

“I wouldn’t say I’m particularly gung ho about it. But do you really want to see Sexual Predator #2 humiliate Sir Arvin? Do you? Well, do you?!”

“Obviously not, but as a leader, I’ve got to put everyone’s safety first.”

“Glory is just as important as security.”

She’s getting worse. Just a few days ago, she would’ve told me I could feed all the glory in the world to the pigs for what she cared.

Then an extraordinarily noisy blast rang out, startling Lady Mythlanica so badly that she sprinted off.

“I simply cannot bear to watch that good-for-nothing hero—chosen for no other reason than his stock—ridicule, slander, and taunt my dear Sir Arvin. Seriously, I wish I could just fu— [Audio signal temporarily suspended due to inappropriate language. Should this problem continue to occur, please contact your nearest dealer or customer service center] …I’m sorry for the outburst.”

Is there really no way I can get maintenance to come out here?

“I’ll do everything I can to carry it through if possible. But I’m not going to do anything crazy. That’s not how my adventure goes.”

“You’re a tough nut to crack, aren’t you? How disappointing. Anyway, good luck. Over and out.” She cut the line.

“Machina.”

“Yes? How can I help you?”

“Does Isolla hate me or something?”

“No, but Sir Arvin happens to be exactly her type. I doubt she has any strong feelings for you.”

“After all the trials and tribulations we’ve been through…”

The robot hummed as she mixed the eggs and sugar together. So neither of you is gonna care about my feelings? By the way, it’s been awfully quiet for the past few minutes.

Looking out over the meadow, I saw the three ladies making their way back.

“How’d it go?” I asked Lana after she arrived.

“It was an absolute disaster!” she cheerfully responded.

“Let me see your ryviuses.” They showed me their vials: Lana had consumed about half her MP, and Zenobia’s was empty. Bel’s hadn’t gone down at all. Wait, is Bel, like, actually amazing? “Got it. Anyway, go on and take a break.”

“I-I’m exhausted!” Zenobia moaned as she sat down, then rested her head on the table. Of the three, she was the only one who looked totally spent.

All right, might as well get it ready for them.

I called the drone back and retrieved the water bottle, first slipping on a pair of gloves to protect myself from the frigid metal chilled high in the skies. We’d used silver coins to make it since silver is good at conducting heat. It warms easily and cools off just as smoothly.

After breaking the ice from the bottle into pieces, I poured it all into a big bowl. After throwing in a little water and some salt, I mixed it all together with cooking chopsticks.

“Sou, whatcha doin’?”

“Oh, you’ve piqued my interest, too.”

Bel and Lana came to spy on my work.

“If you add salt to icy water, the temperature drops like crazy. I’m using that to make something special. Machina.”

“On iiit.” She transferred the contents of her bowl to mine. The more I stirred, the more the contents stiffened.

Whoooa, it actually worked. Never thought that class in home ec all those years ago would come in handy.

I put the chilly, firm delicacy into individual elegant glass bowls, garnished them with young medicinal shoot buds, stuck a small spoon into each portion, and called it done. Lana and Bel stuck out their hands as if to say, Pleeease. Not one to reward bad manners, I placed the servings on the table.

“’Kay, so here’s your ice cream. Enjoy.” They all took a bite at once.

“Whoa! It’s so cooold and sweet! Super sweet!” Bel exclaimed joyfully.

“Souya, drizzle a little liquor on this.”

“Yes, ma’am.” I’d seen that coming; I poured a little of the strong liqueur I’d set aside in anticipation of this over Zenobia’s treat.

“Mm-mm-mm! It’s sooo delightfully sweet!” A few tears sprung to her eyes.

As for Lana—

“……”

—for some reason, she’d started inspecting the dessert from every single angle, turning it around as she dug in.

“No need to rush, ladies. There’s plenty to go around.”

“…!” They all gulped down a spoonful, then cradled their heads in their arms.

“Souya, serve me some as well,” demanded Lady Mythlanica. “Don’t hold back on the liqueur.”

“Yes, milady.”

I held a spoonful of the ice cream up to her, and she started licking it furiously. Then, just like the others, she got a brain freeze and rolled around in pain. Incensed, she bit me…only to start licking the dessert again. The three other ladies went through similar cycles of joy and agony as they finished their portions.

“What a terrifying treat,” breathed Zenobia. “I couldn’t stop eating even though my head was killing me. Heh-heh, my lips are trembling.” Her whole body quivered.

“Ohhh yeah, that reminds me. Two years ago, the first time I ever saw snow, I went crazy and ate as much as I could. Ow, ow!” Bel shivered just like the mage.

“Mm-mmm, hmm?” Appearing relatively unbothered, Lana stared curiously at the vessel I’d used to make the ice.

“Darling, this is made of silver, right?”

“It sure is.” She was holding the water bottle.

“Precisely. Silver is a wonderful thermal conductor, so I welded some into a bottle.”

“Thermal conductor?”

“A term for metals that cool or warm with ease.”

“So why does adding salt make it so much colder?”

“……R-right.” N-no idea.

“Allow me to explain. This is a phenomenon known as ‘freezing-point depression.’ One property of melting ice is that it lowers the temperature around it. Since it normally melts gradually, it almost never falls below zero degrees Celsius. Salt, on the other hand, quickens the pace at which ice melts. So when you add salt to ice, it not only rapidly melts, but drastically reduces the surrounding temperature. As a result, the air around it can drop down to between negative fifteen and negative twenty degrees Celsius.” A self-satisfied smirk appeared on her screen. It pissed me off.

“Oh, freezing-point depression. Right, right, those used to be everywhere, but I haven’t seen one since I was a kid. Really takes me back.”

“Freezing-point depression is not something you can spot like a dragonfly or crayfish.” Machina acidly rebuked my attempt at sounding like I knew what I was talking about.

“So conductive metals mixed with ice and salt can lower freezing points,” Lana muttered to herself as she paced around, then wandered off from camp. Before she did, I caught a glimpse of her ryvius and saw it had completely refilled. I checked Zenobia’s, too—maxed out. Evidently, sugar also helped heims recover magic.

“Looks like ice cream was the right move, Machina.”

“Indeed. A fascinating development. The only problem I can imagine is that it may not carry well into the dungeon.”

“Could we make it into a milkshake?”

“Ohhh, possibly. But that wouldn’t keep for long.”

“Well, a good party is all about balance. We can’t just rely on Lana’s spellcraft all the time. I’ll be happy as long as we can help her get back to full power when she returns to camp.”

“Whoooa! My magic filled up again!” came Zenobia’s delayed reaction.

“Sou, you have moved me. Never in my life have I tasted something so sweet. I’m so glad to be alive. Ughh.” Bel started weeping. Talk about an overreaction.

“I knew you were pretty well off, but I never imagined you could throw sugar around this casually.”

“Actually, the king left me a stash of sugar. I just borrowed a bit.”

Both women gawked at me, eyes bulging in astonishment.

“Umm, Sou, so you mean—”

“Stop right there, Bel. This smells like trouble. It’s best we don’t get too deeply involved. The only evidence is currently in our stomachs. We can just play dumb and pretend we don’t know.”

“Yes, ma’am, Zeno! Since that’s settled, I’d like seconds, please!”

“After you cast a few more spells,” I told her. Lana had returned, her cheeks bright red, panting.

“I have an idea I’d like to try out. Bel, Zenobia, please come help me. And darling, lend me all the salt and silver you have. Machina, we’re going to need large quantities of water, so please go fetch some. Heh, heh-heh-heh, this might just turn out to be amazing. With this, I can finally step up my least favorite magic, icecraft. No, what am I saying? I might even be able to replicate the deathly winter that once blanketed the city of Neomia.”

Please, whatever you do, don’t do that.

Zenobia and Bel recoiled a bit at the sudden change that had overtaken her. Both Machina and I had grown used to it, however, so we got started on her instructions without paying it any heed. We gathered the items she’d asked for and decided to observe their joint magic up close this time—and ended up completely bowled over in the face of the overwhelming size and force of her spell. Lana’s face beamed with pride & satisfaction. On the other hand, Zenobia and Bel looked deathly pale.

“Machina.”

“Yes?”

“I’m off to apologize to the king.”

“Of course, and good luck. Don’t worry, I’ll prepare everything for your expedition. Please do make sure you find a way back here before noon tomorrow.”

“I’ll do what I can.”

I arrived at the palace and immediately prostrated myself in dogeza, then followed up with a round of profuse apologies. Luckily, I got permission to borrow some muscle. I gathered all the mages of the royal court and every employee of the Zavah Night Owl Trade Group with time to spare and got to work taking the calamity we’d created apart. Only after evening fell did we clear the portions that blocked the main road.

Other trade groups brought a total of sixty-two complaints to me, but left chuckling with pleasure after I gifted them with some off-season ice. I arranged dinner for everyone who’d helped before going to update the king on our progress, but he refused to let me leave and made me stay for dinner.

Apparently, he’d taken a great liking to edamame and had munched on a large plate of the beans while drinking the alcohol I’d forbidden him from having. In a wonderful mood, he started recounting tales from his adventuring days. I took all the stories from this drunkard with a generous helping of salt, but nevertheless found them interesting and educational as a fellow adventurer. He told me about what Pops was like when he was younger, about Lana and Éa’s father, and about his younger sister who’d gone missing in the dungeon. But the night was not long enough to hear every one of Remlia the Adventurer’s great sagas, and soon, the dawn broke—

[46TH DAY]

After a completely sleepless night, I made my way to the reception desk at the dungeon. Machina had contacted me first thing in the morning to let me know my party would meet me there. It was a short walk from the palace. Honestly, I was dead tired. The morning sun blinded me. I felt absolutely wretched.

“Everything ready?”

“I gathered all the items Mistress Lana requested—the three hundred pieces of silver, twenty kilograms of salt, and one sinispectral silver barrel of water—and had them delivered to Sir Arvin by way of the Zavah Night Owl Trade Group. I entrusted your share of the arrows I made to Lady Éa. Isolla drew up a battle plan and has already communicated it to the rest of the party.”

I’d asked just to be safe, but it looked like every last t had been crossed. “Maaan, it feels like you guys don’t even really need me.”

“I concur.”

You weren’t supposed to agree.

“Yaya, good morning!” My little sister had arrived.

“Good morning, darling. I’m sorry about yesterday.”

“Don’t be—your magic is going to open so many doors for us. That discovery alone has made this all worthwhile. I’m really impressed, Lana. It’s a shame the incantation won’t carry your name, but I’m very proud of you.”

“Th-that’s too—” I stepped up to her and placed my hand on her cheek. She grew limp with embarrassment. Maybe my sleep deprivation was causing me to act up.

“Okay, okaaay, that’s enough PDA for the morning.” Éa stole her sister away from me.

“Mr. Souya,” Machina warned in a low voice. “Your preparations and strategy are perfectly in place. I have chosen not to divulge your potential success rate, as it never means anything to you. However, you should be aware of the possibility of losing someone in this battle. Please pay extra attention to this risk. With that, I wish you good luck and goddess-speed.”

“Thanks. See you in a bit.”

Lana, Éa, and I walked up to my counselor’s desk. She was a beauty, with horns that peeked out of her silver hair.

“Good morning, Evetta.”

“Pleasant morning to you, Souya. What are your plans for the day?”

“We’re going down to the tenth floor to investigate the damaged ecosystem there. Here’s our expedition request form,” I announced, handing her my signed paperwork. For what it’s worth, Arvin and the others had already gone down the day before to scout it out and send me their findings.

“Request approved…… Do you not intend to try your luck with the Dark Crowned monster?”

“Of course not. I’ve chosen to follow the safest path in adventuring. I would never put myself at such reckless risk.”

“A wise decision. In the last two days alone, seventeen parties have attempted to tackle the creature, yet only three have left anything resembling a scratch on it. And that was the most they could do. No one has come close to felling it. Four parties have broken up after their failed attempts at slaying the monster, and none of the seventeen have come away unscathed.”

Pretty terrible damage report. Initiates were clearly not cut out to fight this foe.

“I only wish the people who mistake recklessness for the essence of their profession could hear what you just said. Granted, there does come a time when one must engage in risky behavior. Please do keep that somewhere in your mind.”

“You’ve got it.”

“Well then, have a lovely expedition. Please make sure you come back alive.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

It hurt my heart to lie to my counselor, but we had to keep the elves’ involvement in this a secret for Arvin’s sake. I’d committed to keeping that promise the moment we’d agreed to work together. Nothing could make me break it.

---

Leaving Evetta behind, we ducked into a portal and settled in to wait for Arvin and the others on the tenth floor.

“Darling, um, I got this, um, for you, if you’d like… I mean, it’s not, um, very special or anything, but I just wanted to, you know.”

“Huh?”

Lana was making an anxious attempt to tell me something. She reached into her bag to almost pull it out before cramming it back in, to almost withdraw it again—but then put it back. Her younger sister looked on, slightly bemused.

“Actually, I think it’s best you tell him, Éa.”

“Nooo way, I’m not doin’ that. You said you’d do it yourself, remember?”

“But Éa…”

I could nearly feel a question mark floating above my head as I watched their exchange. Perhaps unable to stand her sister looking so troubled, Éa walked around Lana and started talking for her like a ventriloquist.

“I put my heart and soul into making these. I hope you like them.”

Flushing bright red, Lana pulled a clump wrapped in leaves out of her bag. “Th-this probably tastes like a mud pie compared to the delicious meals you always cook for us, but please, try it.”

I took the lump and unwrapped it to reveal…a rice ball. A message from Machina came in.

“The onigiri contains nothing but salt and rice. There is no cause for concern.” That made all the difference. I took a bite.

It was a little heavy on the salt and slightly tough, but the more I chewed, the more the flavor of the rice blossomed in my mouth. No self-respecting Japanese person could dislike white rice. If Lana had made it herself, it had to be good.

“This is really good,” I told her.

“R-really?! You’re not just saying that to be kind?”

“No, I mean it. I like it.”

“Really really?!” She closed the distance between us.

“Really really.” Dear wifey, you’re very close. Look, I’ve already finished one.

“I’m sooo glad to hear that! Um, I’ve made quite a few, so please, eat up!” She opened her bag to reveal rice balls jammed into every nook and cranny.

“Mr. Souya, she is carrying around forty onigiri. Please do not overindulge, as it will negatively impact your expedition,” warned Machina. As if I could eat that many.

“Umm, let’s share these with everyone. I could never finish them all on my own.”

“Okay, that’s a good idea.”

Soon afterward, Arvin and the others showed up with the barrel and other assorted baggage in tow. We kept our salutations brief and finished the rest of the rice balls. Claiming she’d grown tired of the taste, Éa started shaking random spices on her onigiri. Right on script, she, Shuna, and Bel began quarreling over who would get to have the seasoning. It made me happy to see Arvin munching unperturbed on his portions even after I told him Lana had made them.

Full stomachs, check.

Now

The time has come

To take that Dark Crowned Dragonoise Mydranga down

For a friend and his glory.

---

The enormous, yawning cavern was littered with mysterious armor and trappings that seemed to whisper of long-gone civilizations, derelict remnants of ritualistic equipment whose applications we couldn’t begin to imagine, and countless altars exalting gods only knew what. From time to time, we encountered pockets like this in the dungeon, but not even all the years in the life of a long-lived race would suffice to unravel the cryptic history here. Not that it had much to do with us, of course.

The dragonoise slept curled up among the altars as if to protect them, just as it had when we’d first encountered it. This time, though, we also found traces of blood and weapons strewn around the area that hadn’t been there originally.

But damn, this thing is huuuge.

Its body measured at least eight meters wide and two and a half meters tall, with a neck so long it couldn’t completely retract into its shell. That I estimated was about ten meters in length, two meters across. At this size, it would no longer fit through the dungeon exit.

Wait, is it just me, or does this thing look bigger than three days ago? What has it been eating? Ohhh, adventurers, maybe? I won’t ask for much, but please never let me get eaten alive by a monster.

“Good, everyone’s in position. Let’s check our transmitters. Give me a shout when I call your name.” I’d affixed telecom stickers that worked as microphones and speakers by everyone’s throat and ears.

“Lana.”

“Here.”

“Éa.”

“Heeere.”

“Arvin.”

“Aye.”

“Shuna.”

“Whoa, this is freaky.”

“Bel.”

“I’m heeere.”

“Zenobia.”

“Why am I always last?”

“Communication systems all clear,” I announced, then confirmed everyone’s positions. Lana, Bel, and Zenobia stood at the ready in the nearest corridor. A few paces in front of them, Arvin took the right flank, Shuna the middle, and Éa and I the left.

“Isolla, run through the last check.”

“Understood…… All in order.”

“Commence battle operation. Give it all you’ve got, friends. Éa, if you would.”

“Roger.” She rolled the barrel up close to the dragonoise so offhandedly, I started sweating with panic.

“É-Éa, quietly, quietly.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” she waved off my worry. “This dope’s not the kind to initiate an attack.” Unalarmed, she pressed forward slowly and steadily, the barrel making quite a lot of noise as it trundled. Once she got it in the right spot, she began spreading fistfuls of salt and silver coins around it in equal measure. Ah, this is sloppy, too sloppy. I’m scared, I’m scared. My poor heart.

“Prep complete! Heading back now,” she reported, then jogged back to me. The dragonoise watched her run away, but soon lost interest and returned to its slumber. Cold sweat drenched my brow. It felt like my heart had its foot down hard on the accelerator.

“Sou, that thing’s not even worried about us. It’s like a pet,” noted Bel.

“Maybe it hasn’t faced off against anyone up to its level yet?” I suggested. “Or maybe it’s just not that bright?”

“I’d say both, no? Rock turtles don’t eat anythin’ but the dungeon walls, you know. Animals who don’t have to struggle for their grub are usually pretty dumb.” That logic tracked.

“Arvin, make your move.”

“Aye.” I had him assume his post close to the creature.

“Lana, Bel, Zenobia, take it away.”

Lana thrust her staff into the ground, spread her arms out wide, and began to spin her words into an incantation. “O Lord Ezeus, my lord Ezeus, I raise my voice in your wondrous name and pray you carry it to the following deities: O Midras of Shining Waters, imbue my right hand with your grace.” A water globule took shape in her hand. “Li Bau the Death Shade, grace my left hand with your destructive power.” Ghastly white smoke swirled around her left hand.

“Unite as one,” she ordered, joining her hands together, “and come to life.”

When she spread her arms open once more, a massive spear of ice materialized between them. Icecraft was the magic Lana had the hardest time conjuring, so this single spell would drain her magic in one fell swoop.

“With this frigid lance, I hereby herald the coming of the winter of death. Hoense Romea Neomia!”

She ran a few paces, then hurled her creation with impeccable form. This got the dragonoise’s attention. It flashed its eyes wide open and writhed its massive frame, instinctively and very clearly terrified of the spear. However, Lana’s aim flew true and hit a bull’s-eye, her lance impaling the beast where its neck met its body. The dragonoise wailed in agony, enveloping the dungeon with a shrill shriek like grating metal.

“Ugh!” Howling audio feedback amplified through the speakers on my glasses assaulted my ears. “Zenobia!”

My ears were ringing too loudly for me to hear her response, but out of the corner of my eye, I was able to make out Zenobia pitching small fireballs at the monster.

The flames quickly fused to the frozen spear and caused it to explode, smashing the ice into tiny fragments and generating a white fog that choked the cavernous space.

“Éa, you better not miss,” I warned.

“Right back at you, Yaya,” she retorted. Syncing up our breathing, we nocked our ammunition. We’d crafted the arrowheads and even the shafts entirely of silver for this operation.

“Now!” We set them loose, aiming for the gash the ice spear had left. Both our arrows pierced the beast in almost the same exact spot. While they didn’t penetrate very deep, they did cut into its flesh.

“Okay, go, Bel!”

“M-my name is Beltriche, Divine Medium of—eek!” She was nervous, and her voice betrayed her. The beast fixed its eyes on her, Lana, and Zenobia, raised its long neck, and snapped at them as quickly as a round expelled from a cannon. It was a lethal blow. However—

“No, you don’t!”

—Arvin’s shield rammed into the beast’s jaw, stopping it in its tracks. Shudder-inducing fangs clamped onto the shield. The dragonoise braced its serpentine neck to lift Arvin with it and fling him around, but Shuna slammed his sword against its scales before it had the chance.

---

---

“Dammit! I can’t cut through these!” he swore in frustration. His sword had indeed failed to slice through the dragonoise, but it had forced the beast to unclamp its fangs from Arvin.

Éa and I switched to our normal arrows and started assailing the monster with covering fire. We aimed for its eyes, but its neck slithered far too quickly for us to land a hit. The dragonoise shifted all its hostility toward Shuna and Arvin, then bore down on them.

“Bel, take it easy,” I reassured her. “We’ve still got plenty of time.”

“O-okay.”

Lana reached out to Bel, who was trembling under pressure, and grabbed her hand to wrap it around her staff. “Relax and repeat after me.”

“Eeek!”

Lana began to chant, and Bel followed her lead. “I, Beltriche, the Divine Medium, raise my voice in supplication to the gods and goddesses of modern days. My primary lord, Ukhazol, bend your divine ears to my pleas.”

“I, Beltriche, the D-D-Divine Medium, pray to modern-day Ukhazol for a favor.” Kind of a half-assed chant, but it was the best she could do. The two continued.

“I beseech thee for power and beg thee and the succeeding gods and goddesses for a miracle. O Leteugan of the Frosty Winds, bestow unto me thy divine force.”

“I, I, I—beg thee and the following gods and goddesses for a miracle.” The elf whispered something into Bel’s ear. The tears running down the girl’s face dried, and all emotion melted away. Her words began to flow gracefully, as if spoken by an entirely different person.

“Leteugan of the Frosty Winds, grant this man your miracles and your grace. Dance, O Holy Wind, spring forth as a cyclone, and, like a swell-crushing storm, twist, spiral and enfold, destroy, and plunder all before you, then transform this scene to ice and resurrect once more the tragedy of Neomia! O wild and crazed tempests, ice-laden rains, shower down upon this beast! Freeze it and its every last cry and send an icicle of death plummeting down upon it from on high!”

Her face showing the telltale signs of spirit possession, Bel unleashed the spell. “Laualliuna Romea Brinicle!!”

Mighty winds swirled the frigid shards into a whorl. I nocked a precious Mythlanic arrow and shot it straight through the barrel Éa had tipped over, detonating it on impact. The cyclone sucked up the sinispectral water, a magical amplifier, that had burst from the barrel and swelled in size.

“Arvin! Shuna!”

“Aye!”

“Here we gooo! Raaaaaaaaah!”

Their shield and sword repelled the beast’s sixth snap with perfect timing, catching it right in the jaw and forcing its serpentine head to whip all the way back to its shell.

“Raise the barrier! Now!”

Arvin lifted his heraldic badge of St. Lillideas while Zenobia heaved her staff.

“Magnificent Lillideas, bestow the graces of your mercy, your loyalty, and your divine protection upon your humble followers. Zammonglace Romea Teiring!”

“O Holy Flames, conjoin with these elements and form a wall of light. Shine tranquility upon them, sustain their spirits, and erect a protective barrier!”

The two defensive spells combined to form an enormous dome of light that enveloped the dragonoise. At that exact moment, Bel’s incantation reached its final stage. The melting ice mixed with the salt around it and instantly sucked all the heat from the area. Suddenly chilled to zero degrees Celsius, the air churned among the raging winds and rain, blanketing the dragonoise in a sheet of white. The silver coins stuck to its shell, and the silver arrows piercing its wound absorbed the freezing cold to gnaw away at the beast from without and within. Even its wails froze on its breath.

And yet all of this was nothing but the lead-up for the next spectacle. Zenobia’s light barrier radiated heat. Drawn to warmth, the chilled air swirled and gathered around the top of the dome, tumbling into a viscid, ivory vortex that slowly lowered to the ground.

The overlapping forces of freezing-point depression, silver, sinispectral water, and a Divine Medium’s prayers compounded one another to generate a miracle: the new spell Lana had invented. Brinicle, a medium-facilitated magical phenomenon, if you will.

This shit was crazy. According to Machina’s observations, it produced absolute-zero conditions—the point at which every single molecule ceased to move. The ladies had failed to get the control on this just right the day before and had wound up transforming part of the meadow into a winter wonderland complete with a thirty-meter-tall column of ice. We’d had an escape route then, but that wasn’t the case today. Still, Arvin’s barrier, aka his defensive magic, kept increasing, so—

“Souya! Sorry—I can’t hold on any longer!” cried the knight.

“Yeah, me neither!” Zenobia added.

They both threw in the towel far too early.

Shit, you can’t be serious. If this thing hits us, we’ll all be a bunch of ice pops.

“Bel, cancel your spell. Bel! ……Bel?!” She wasn’t answering. I had a sinking feeling in my gut. I ran over to her.

“Freeze, freeze, freeze all blood and souls, stop them, stop them, cease all time and history, quell it, quell it, visit destruction upon—”

“Lana, is this one of those trances?”

“Yes.”

The girl went on chanting, her eyes dead. Lana shook her, Zenobia clamped her palm over her mouth, but nothing worked. Time was running out. I didn’t have a second to lose or spend wavering about what to do. I had no other choice.

“Sorry!” Not really knowing whom I’d apologized to, I held Bel’s chin between my fingers and kissed her. Our lips pressed together. I was too terrified to look at my wife, but I could feel Éa’s icy glare. I also saw Zenobia’s eyes go blank in surprise.

Desperate times called for desperate measures. Still, nothing changed. Ah, to hell with it—I slipped my tongue in her mouth and swirled it around hers, licked the top of her palate with the tip, and glided it along the insides of her teeth. I had Tutu to thank for teaching me all these dirty moves.

“……!”

Light returned to her eyes, and the magic behind me instantly dispersed. Then Zenobia slapped me back and forth across the face.

“Gh!”

“You predator! You’re a married man! Bel! Bel! Snap out of it! You’re not hurt!” Zenobia seized the girl by the shoulders and violently shook her back and forth. Finally, she regained consciousness.

“Gasp! Wh-why do I feel like something crazy just happened to me?”

“It’s too much trouble to explain now. Don’t you worry, I’ll make sure to steal a fortune back for your mental anguish!”

This was out of my control, you know. I did it to save all your lives.

“Darling.” Shit.

Lana quietly walked up to me, grabbed my poncho, pulled me toward her, and—gave me a peck on the lips.

“I-I’d like you to continue that later.”

“Yes, ma’am.” It all happened too fast; my emotions couldn’t keep up.

“Oiii, mind taking that lovers’ quarrel outside?” Arvin’s voice snapped me back to reality. That’s right, we were in the middle of a battle.

I turned my sights back on our enemy. Somehow, the dome of light had stayed intact. A frosty film of white snow left behind by the shattered death icicle covered the surface. We couldn’t see a thing inside.

“Arvin, go ahead and release your defensi—”

A split second before I could get my order out, the snake head busted through the barrier dome and sent him flying. He slammed into the wall and lost consciousness.

“KKKKKRRREEEEEEAAAAAAAAA!” The dragonoise’s death rattle boomed and bounced off the walls. Its injuries had already sealed its doom. Our silver arrows had split its body in half, affording us a glimpse of the frosted organs inside. Only the freezing of its blood vessels prolonged its death. Even if we didn’t do anything else, it would still expire.

And yet there is a saying that goes, “There’s nothing more dangerous than a wounded beast.”

“Lana, Bel, Zenobia, fall back!”

If they responded, I didn’t hear it. The dragonoise went berserk, writhing in agony, whipping its long neck around and around. I had to duck in and get Arvin out of there. That thing could kill me with just a single blow, but it would take more than that knowledge to stop me.

“Éa, cover me!”

“I am, but! It’s not work— Aaah!” The serpentine neck swatted her away, too, but it didn’t hit her straight on, so she landed on her feet. Without missing a beat, she loosed an arrow at it—to no avail. I kept raining them down on it, too, but none hit any vital spots.

The monster flailed and thrashed its neck near Arvin. No ryvius, no matter how full, could keep anyone flattened to a pancake by that thing alive.

Shit, this is bad. This is very bad. I’m all out of ideas.

“Haaah… What a mess. Looks I’m gonna have to save your asses, huh?”

“Shuna? You’ve got a plan?!”

“Yeah. Sorry, Master.” From far away, I saw Shuna draw his sword. His face was reflected in the thick blade. What was going on? I could feel some invisible power gathering around him.

“I am called Shuna, disciple to Lady Gladwein, honorable in both arms and strength. May a fragment of thy fearsome might reside within me. May my craft, my blade, my body itself carve out the newest legend to mark the ages in thy holy name! Grant me a blow to rival that heroic strike which slew the Wicked Dragon!”

The snakehead lunged at him.

“Huh?”

He vanished. The next second, he was standing atop the monster’s shell.

“Eaaaaaat thisssssssssss!”

Shuna delivered a divine strike with his gleaming longsword. Though it had frozen over and cracked, the beast’s shell still looked hard as rock—but the boy cleaved straight through it all the same. His sword, the price he paid for the awesome power, shattered into fragments like ice. With its final breath, the dragonoise let out a howling wail.

And yet it still had not departed. Its neck, which had so wildly rampaged a moment earlier, stilled in the face of death, and the monster’s fury all homed in on Shuna. Its eyes and gaping jaw opened wide as if to say, At the very least, you’re going down with me.

“Shit!”

Without his blade, he had no way to defend himself. That’s when—

“Who’re you calling a mess?”

–Arvin’s voice sounded through our speakers. He came flying down, shield raised, high, high up above Shuna.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAGHH!”

Propelled by the velocity of his descent and the weight of his armor, Arvin plunged his shield downward with all his might. An intense, violent crash blasted through the dungeon. It trailed off into a faint metallic clang before silence engulfed all.

A heartbeat later, destruction stemming from the cleft Shuna had left branched out and overtook the dragonoise. The beast’s limp, serpentine head collapsed with its tongue still flicked out, and its shell shattered into a million pieces.

“……”

Nobody said a word. Lukewarm sweat chilled by the drafts of cold air swirling about dripped down my cheeks. Kicking shards of broken shell out of the way, Arvin lent Shuna his shoulder and walked over, stopping right in front of me.

“Leader, it’s over.”

“Yeah……yeah. Hey, guys, we did it?” was my half-witted response. I’d only gone into the engagement because I’d thought we could emerge victorious, but now that we’d actually done it, it just didn’t feel real.

“We did win, right?”

“Yeah, and we’ve got you and the others to thank for it.” Only then did my legs start shaking. One wrong step and we could’ve lost someone. We had so much to improve on—but that could wait for another time. For now, “Everyone, mission complete,” I announced. “We did it!”

Éa rushed over and threw her arms around me. The three other ladies walked our way, too. Wait, that figure walking behind them looked familiar.

“Never thought a party of initiates could take this one down,” said a small doll at my feet. About thirty centimeters tall and sewn from sackcloth, it had small wings adorning its back.

“Were you watching as well, Guildmaster?” Evetta asked, bringing up the tail end of the trail of ladies.

“Why are you two here?” I asked.

“Isn’t it obvious? Because it looked like it might be interesting to watch,” squeaked the miniature Guildmaster doll.

“Likewise,” added Evetta. Yikes, this wasn’t good. “But Souya, did you not tell me you would refrain from attempts to slay the dragonoise?”

“I need to talk to you both. Come here for a sec.” Leaving Éa with Lana, I pulled the Guildmaster effigy and Evetta over to a corner of the cavern. “Please don’t tell anyone that my party helped to defeat the dragonoise.”

“Huh?” They exclaimed in unison.

“If it came to light that Arvin fought alongside elves, it would complicate our efforts to earn him honor and glory. Please, I beg you. I’ll pay a bribe if that’s what it takes.”

“I see. Well, for starters, how about a hundred gold—” Evetta stomped down hard on the doll before it could finish.

“If you had asked me to misrepresent your feats, then I would have to decline. But if all you want is to hide your accomplishment, then I am willing to cooperate since it won’t negatively impact the Guild in any way. Souya, are you—and your party members—satisfied with that arrangement? Have you made sure to thoroughly discuss it on a plethora of occasions?”

“We’ve already settled the matter.” I’d made everyone agree to this condition when we’d first decided to work together.

“Then as your counselor, I have nothing more to say. I’ll call dissectors to collect the resources here. You may want to take your leave, Souya.”

“Thank you.”

Evetta smushed the doll under her foot, then walked away. I went back to rejoin the others.

“Lana, Éa, time for us to go. Looks like Guild craftsmen are on their way to collect these materials.”

“Yes, darling.”

“Rogeeer.”

“Hold up!” Shuna stopped us. “Are we really gonna play this off like you had nothing to do with it?”

“Exactly. We all agreed to that when we decided to work together, right?” That “we” had included Shuna, too.

“Well, yeah, but still. We never would’ve beaten this stupid turtle—or that giant skeleton—without Lana’s magic.”

“No, I alone could not have done this,” Lana disagreed. “I could not have cast that spell without Bel’s assistance.”

Shuna took that in, then closed in on me. “That’s exactly my point! It took all seven of us to do this—not one or four, but all seven! Badass people should get praised and talked about and have people be proud of them—no exceptions! Covering this stuff up just doesn’t feel right to me!”

In all likelihood, he was projecting his master’s experience onto our situation. It was indeed a tragedy that the genius who’d trained this prodigy with the sword would get no recognition for her skill merely because she was a beastmaid.

But on this point, I could not back down, both for Arvin’s sake and for the sake of my standing as a leader. Once I made a decision, I couldn’t allow doubt to make me waver.

“Shuna, as your leader, I’m ordering you to never bring this up again. Lana, Éa, and I weren’t here. The four of you slew that monster. That’s the story we’re sticking to, and it’s not going to change. Do you hear me?”

“……” He glared at me silently.

“Answer me.”

“If you’re not here, then you can’t order me to do anything.”

“Shuna!” I barked, more dismayed than angry.

“Souya, enough.” Arvin stepped between us, trying to defuse the explosive situation.

Nothing would ever get me to back down on this. No matter how masterful Shuna was as a swordsman, he was still just a child on an emotional level. He didn’t have the capacity to empathize with other people’s needs or rights. No amount of logic or reasoning would get to him. People with authority had to check him, even if that meant using a little force. If I backed down now, this would go to his head, and he would get cocky. And arrogance was the closest thing to a death wish in this profession.

Plus, I’d committed to serving as their leader whether it was from behind the scenes or out in the open. I’d strangle him with my own two hands before I let that kill him. Worst-case scenario, I could shoot an arrow through his leg or torture him until he got the message. If he still refused to back down after all that, I’d have to break him like a wild stallion.

“Alert. Unidentified persons approaching, most likely another party. If you intend to disband, do so now.” Isolla’s warning put a damper on the heated argument.

“Shuna, we’ll continue this discussion after we get back aboveground. But I’m not going to give in to any of your demands this time. Remember that.”

He angrily clicked his tongue in response. The elven sisters in tow, I had started to leave when—

“Éa, a moment, please.”

—Arvin called out to a most unexpected member of the group.

“Huh? What?” She couldn’t disguise her surprise, either. They’d never spoken to each other directly before.

Arvin knelt before her and raised his emblem. A silver accessory in the shape of the Greek letter phi, it served as both proof of baptism in the Church of St. Lillideas and a medium for conjuring spells. I’d gotten so worked up that I’d failed to notice that Éa’s ryvius had run completely dry. A trickle of blood dribbled down her leg.

“We cannot allow a scar to blemish your lovely skin,” Arvin said, then chanted a healing spell. A warm light shone over her skin and the cut disappeared.

“Th-thanks.” She sounded a little bewildered.

Lana, Éa, and I started out on our way home. Our adventure wasn’t over until we made it back. I couldn’t let my guard down just yet.

We’d defeated the Dark Crowned dragonoise, and yet my argument with Shuna had wiped away any sense of achievement that might have brought. I could only hope this wouldn’t lead to problems down the line, but I was worried. Not to mention—

“By the way, Yaya, you totally kissed Bel, didn’t you?”

“Koff!”

“And me after that,” added Lana.

“Then do I get one, too?”

“Éa!” Lana snapped.

—seeds of trouble were starting to sprout here, too.

---

We safely reached the Guild on the first floor of the dungeon just past midday, which was both the busiest hour and when fresh news would usually break. People congregated around the quest board to see the latest job listings posted. Some adventurers swung by to consult with counselors back from their lunch breaks; new applicants came to sign up; civilians popped in to submit job requests. For those and many other reasons the Guild would get rather crowded, but—

“Whoa.”

—this was something else. It’s like double the normal crowd, right? The Guild gave me convention hall vibes. I instinctively took Lana’s hand in mine.

“Éa, don’t get lost,” I warned.

“As if. I’m not Lala, you know.”

“It only happened twice,” Lana fibbed. It had actually happened four times already. She was the type of person who lost sight of everything around her when deep in thought.

“Hey, did ya hear the news?” I heard a passing adventurer call out.

“Yeah, you mean about the Dark Crown? They say a party of initiates took it down.” They were gossiping about us.

All the people swarming the place traded similar rumors about the new party that had slain the dragonoise.

“You’re joking, right?” “No, I’m telling you it’s true.” “Initiates wouldn’t stand a chance against that thing!” “But I saw a squad from the Guild’s resource retrieval team heading down.” “Nah, it’s gotta be a prank.” “They say one of Lady Gladwein’s followers did it.” “No way—not even a band of Hoense School mages had what it took.” “Took what?” “How?” “Crazy, pretty much everyone had given up already.” “Who else was in the party?” “Won’t know till we see ’em.” “Tee-hee-hee, looks like a fierce new rival’s come to town, doesn’t it?” “My lady, you look quite pleased by the prospect.” “What’s their leader called?” “He’s got to be someone famous.” “This is bogus, I guarantee you.” “Must be a misunderstanding.”

After eavesdropping on a pretty thorough sampling of the conversations, we left the Guild.

“What should we do now?” I asked the other two.

“I’m starving,” moaned Éa.

“Oh, me too,” Lana seconded.

“Okay, then—”

“Squad Member Souya, you have an incoming call from Sir Arvin. I’m putting him through,” Isolla announced, then switched the line over to Arvin without waiting for an answer.

“Souya, can you three come to the boss’s bar? Let me buy you lunch.”

“Be right there.” Perfect timing. With the sisters at my side, I made for the Wild Ox and Silver Fox. The streets buzzed with adventurers talking about the party that had bested the Dark Crowned monster.

News travels fast—way faster than I’d anticipated. This could mean trouble. There are definitely gonna be some scumbags trying to poke holes in the story. Are we gonna be able to conceal the truth from them? Mess that up, and we could risk spoiling what we’ve accomplished.

I sorted all these issues out in my head on the way to the bar. Since we’d already passed the lunch rush, it was quite crowded. Just then a rather entrepreneurial beastmaid waitress came up to greet us.

“Welcome! Souya, I was waiting for you, you meow!” This particular problem had completely slipped my mind. Tutu enveloped me in a passionate hug, not seeming to care the least bit about Lana’s presence.

“That’s a warmer welcome than usual, right?” Éa casually noted.

“Darling, did something happen?” came Lana’s perfectly reasonable question.

“Mrs. Souya! I have to tell you, Souya—”

EYAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

“I—I helped her get away from this random thug who tried to attack her the other day,” I blurted out.

“Mrah?” Tutu tilted her head, confused. Read the room, por favor! Not even I knew what that meant. I was a discombobulated, tense bundle of nerves. “You never came back to see meow at the shop. I got so lonely looking for you, you know?” She rubbed her face against my cheeks.

Ohhh man, oh man, oh man. This girl just won’t take the hint.

“Where? Why were you waiting for him?” asked Lana, puzzled. Fortunately, it looked like she hadn’t caught on yet. In the next few moments, I had to figure out how to diffuse a ticking time bomb. As if that weren’t enough, I had to do it right after risking my life in battle, completely exhausted both physically and mentally, and all while running on zero sleep. You could say I was lying in the bed I’d made, but the extra thorns and razor blades on the mattress seemed like overkill.

“Lana, let me explain,” I started. “The shop where Tutu works is—”

“The Lowomen parlor, right?” Éa hit me with an impeccable stab in the back.

“Oh, you’re a Lowomen disciple?”

“Yes, me’am.” Tutu nodded happily in response to Lana’s question.

Completely ignoring the deathly pale shade I’d turned, Éa interjected, “Yaya, I’m hungry. Let’s order something.” She rushed us over to seats at the counter since all the tables were full. I put in an order for three with another waitress.

I should mention that Tutu still had her arms wrapped around me. I didn’t have the energy to shake her off, so I sat down still holding her. Her fluffy tail curled around me, her plump booty and supple, smallish breasts pressed against my body, but I could take no pleasure in any of it.

“You were saying?” Lana prodded.

“Oh, right.” The beastmaid proceeded to tell the entire truth, not a hint of guilt in her voice. “That night Souya came to the shop, we got mixed up in a lion-sized mess, but he risked his life to protect meow. He stood up to Lord Werner the Beast Hunter, a relative of the Second Pope. Werner is the hero who quashed a rebellion of five hundred beastfolk all by himself, killing every single one without even getting a drop of blood on him.”

That’s not a hero, that’s a butcher. Is genocide how you earn that title around here?

“But not even that meawfully scary man could scare Souya from fighting for a scraggly little kitty like meow. Not everyone can do that, you know. Mrs. Souya, your husband is a wonderful man!”

“Darling.”

Here it comes—my death sentence. What’s it gonna be, burning at the stake? Crucifixion? Lana did just add icecraft to her tool bag, so maybe death by icicle? At the very least, is there any way my life alone can settle this? I couldn’t bear it if Tutu had to pay for my sins, too.

“Why didn’t you share this with me?” she asked. “You did a commendable deed, you know.”

“Huh?” I hadn’t seen that coming. Where exactly in that story had she seen the commendable part? “Lana, you’re not angry?”

“Why should I be? Oh, because you got into a fight with a hero? He’s a heim hero, though, so I don’t believe that would concern us elves.”

Where do I even begin?

“Lala, you’ve got it all wrong. I think Yaya’s trying to apologize for lying with Tutu at the parlor,” explained Éa.

“I haven’t slept with her yet! We didn’t go all the way!”

“Hmm? But she’s a Lowomen disciple, right?”

“Mrah? Souya, why are you apologizing to your missus?”

Both parties in this affair stared at me, completely baffled.

“Éa, help me out here.” I haven’t got a damn clue what’s going on.

“If I haaave to. Thing is, I studied up a bit on Yaya’s country, and they follow this rare kind of monogamy where the husbands aren’t allowed to secretly see any other women, or go to brothels, or things like that.”

“Meooow, what a strange country.” I’ll give you that, but this isn’t why.

“Éa, when did you find out abou—”

“Back up, though, Yaya. Do you even know what a Lowomen disciple is?”

“No, I do not,” I whispered softly, so very softly.

“I would have been happy to get you up to speed if only you’d asked,” Lana offered. Sorry, dear. You’re the last person I’d ask.

“Souya, you weren’t even aware of that? You’re not a kitten, you know. Lowomen followers like meow adore and follow adventurers, supporting them as servants of the flesh. Whenever I’m wearing my collar, don’t think of me as a person…… Hmm, this is hard to explain, but— Oh, I know! It’s like I’m a very expensive drink. No wife in the world would yell at you for having a little drink.”

Once again, I tried to slip in a word in my defense. “Just to set the record straight, I didn’t sleep with Tutu. A lot happened, but that’s the honest truth, Lana.”

“Oh, I see.” She didn’t really seem to care. Why? Why was I the only one reeling from shock here?

“Poor Yaya.” Éa patted my head. “Just so you know, Lala and I have different moms. We had eight mothers at one point.”

“That’s right. Thirteen in total, if you counted Father’s lovers.”

An image of their father came to mind. He sure got around for someone who looked so straitlaced.

“Anyway, that’s how it is, Yaya. You must’ve been worried about this, what, difference in cultural values? It’s okay, it’s all right. You’re just a man, after all, so we won’t get mad if you have a few women on the side. Elves do it all the time. It’s the woman’s fault for not keeping her man’s attention. Although I was pretty shocked when you kissed Bel.”

“However, Lanceil is where I draw the line. Also……never mind.” Both sisters tried to cheer me up.

Huh, I guess I was getting worked up over nothing again. This isn’t my dimension. It’s obviously not going to have all the same common knowledge or values as the modern world. I need to snap out of this funk. We have a saying in my country that goes, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” So I guess everything’s okay, right?

Lana smiled warmly at me. “You have far less ryvius than most people, so you need to have a few plans to supplement that. Besides, lying with a follower of Lowomen’s is recognition you’ve reached a certain status as an adventurer, you know.”

“I would never play with a greenhorn with nothing to his name. We’re not that cheap, you meow. You’re about the only initiate I’d accept. That’s something to brag about if you ask meow. Oh, but did you hear? They say a party of initiate adventurers took down that dragonoise everyone’s been talking about. That party could definitely get into the Lowomen parlor.”

Speak of the devil, that very squad arrived. I caught Arvin’s eyes and raised my hand a bit in greeting. Bel stared daggers at me. Tutu, the source of her ire, got dragged away by the ear to the kitchen by another waitress. That’s when Boss, the proprietor, approached the new arrivals.

“Arvin, I’ve heard everything. Hang on a second,” he said, holding an enormous, long board all alone. “Allll right, fellas, sorry, but I’m gonna need you to mooove!” He shooed off some people who yelled and griped in protest.

For some unknown reason, the boss hooked his foot around the corners of two tables to pull them close together—tables that, of course, had adventurers sitting and eating around them. The diners grabbed their drinks and plates just in the nick of time. The boss lay the long board over the two tables in the space he’d forced open, then set four chairs on top of that in a row.

“Arvin, Shuna, Beltriche, Zenobia, get up there,” he ordered. “Today, you’re our main event.”

A stir swept through the establishment. After a bit of hesitation, Arvin and the other three did as he instructed and stepped onto the board, and each took a seat. Every single eye in the bar converged on them. Only then did I notice more people had flocked here. They couldn’t all fit, though, so some looked on from an overflow group outside. Pride swelled within me, but I couldn’t help feeling anxious that I’d lost the chance to talk things out with Shuna.

“Silence!” the boss roared, and suddenly you could hear a pin drop. “On behalf of the Adventurer’s Guild and King Remlia, I, Rasta ole Rhasvah, hereby announce that Dragonoise Mydranga has been vanquished. I shall now relay the names of the brave adventurers who slew this Dark Crowned monster.”

I spotted two knights of St. Lillideas in the crowd—that shitty His Heroicness and his loyal attendant.

“Party leader Arvin Forths Gassim, former knight of St. Lillideas. In admiration of your impenetrable shield, King Remlia has bestowed upon you the nom de guerre of Dragon Scale.”

The crowd cheered and the knights clapped approvingly.

“Arvin the Dragon Scale!” someone screamed.

“Arvin the Dragon Scale!” the rest of the adventurers repeated.

“Praise be to St. Lillideas!” and “Honor to this man’s master, Zammonglace!” added the pair of knights.

“Next, Shuna the swordsman, disciple to Ukhazol, King of the Tree Spirits, and Gladwein the Iron Arm. In honor of thy mighty swordsmanship, which rent the dragonoise in two, King Remlia has bestowed upon you the nom de guerre of Dragonshell Slasher.”

The crowd erupted into hoots and hollers twice as loud as what had followed Arvin’s announcement. A group of gruff men stood out as possible sources, all of them most likely fellow followers of Lady Gladwein’s.

“Shuna the Dragonshell Slasher!” Deep male voices boomed over one another in a chorus of praises.

“Cheers for the honorable Lady Gladwein!”

“May his master, Legure the Graceful, bask in this honor!”

“Here’s to this young swordsman’s newfound fame!”

“And to the newest dragon slayer!”

“To our brother in arms and in faith”—Lady Gladwein’s disciples raised a fist in the air—“glory be upon you!” The bar trembled with their roaring bellows and gusto.

Paying that no mind, the boss continued to present Bel and Zenobia.

“Beltriche of Azollid and Zenobia of Fosstark—in recognition of your devotion, support, and masterful magecraft, King Remlia shall send letters of recommendation for both of you to the Earthen Tower of the Jumichla School and the Hoense School’s Lighthouse Watchtower of the Deeps. Furthermore, regarding the issue of your party’s reward, given that the Dark Monster appeared on a shallow floor and left only minimal damage in its wake, you shall be awarded fifty gold coins.”

The boss laughed wryly. “However! Courtesy of King Remlia, all food and drink is on the house for you adventurers until first light!”

“YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” The room burst into an explosive roar.

Ohhh, now I get it. So this is why everyone came around.

“Now then—”

“A moment, please,” Arvin cut in, stopping the boss just short of ending the announcement. He stood up, faced the adventurers before him, and declared, “We did not slay this Dragonoise by ourselves.” Wha—?

“I would like to introduce you to the individuals who assisted us on this mission from the shadows,” he blabbed, letting all the world in on our secret. “Princess Laualliuna and Princess Éa of the Heuress Forest, as well as Souya, the Otherworlder, come stand with us.”

The elven sisters looked to me. I froze at the unbelievably sudden development. Coming on the heels of the lady quagmire, this pushed my brain past its limit.

“Go on, go on, Souya! He’s calling you, go meow!” Tutu came up to me and tugged my arm, and next thing I knew I was on the board, with Lana and Éa close behind.

“Without Souya’s masterful planning and the elven princesses’ magic and archery, we could never have defeated our foe. Praise and glory to their names as well!”

A murmur shivered through the congregation at Arvin’s announcement. But then—

“Hail Souya the Otherworlder! Hail the elven princesses of majestic beauty!”

—Tutu’s cheer broke the quiet, and a flood of applause rushed at us. Lana and Éa seemed not to know how to react but blushed at the praise. I stood there completely stone faced, frozen to the spot. The two knights turned on their heels; I soon lost sight of them in the crowd.

“You’re so cute! Nice boobs!”

“Gorgeous!”

“Gloomy four-eyes!” A few half-assed chants got thrown in with the rest.

My honorable adventurers, looks like you just want to hurry up and get to dinner, huh?

I gave the boss, waiting in the wings, the signal. Let’s just get this over with, please.

“All right, you lousy lot! Drink! Feast! Sing! Go wild!”

Waitresses came streaming out with loads of ale and heaping plates of food to resounding hurrahs and cries. After that, everyone dived into the feast like beasts pouncing on their prey. Liquor was followed by food followed by song. Drink, sing, eat, chug! A minstrel performed a ballad regaling Arvin and his party’s deeds. Aaand—a fight had already broken out. The infectious rampage spread even to those outside the bar. Was this going to last until morning?

Just another normal day in the Other Dimension, a world I’d grown mostly used to. But the excitement did not drown me. My voice quiet and piercingly cold, I called to Arvin.

“Arvin, review meeting tomorrow morning. Got it?”

“A-aye.”

I’d met my limit for the day.