CHAPTER 3 An Unraveling and a Mending

[47TH DAY]

When I opened my eyes, I found myself on some stranger’s rooftop. Arvin and I shared Shuna as a little spoon.

“Yow—”

Ugh, my head is killing me. Damn, I reek of booze. What the hell? Where are we? Where are the ladies? ……Nope, can’t remember a thing.

“Good morning, Squad Member Souya,” Isolla chirped from Arvin’s waist.

“Isolla, what happened here?”

“Well……why worry about that? There’s a public bath not too far away. I suggest you patronize it to rinse the sweat and dirt off yourselves.”

Liking the idea, I shook the other two awake. As it happened, neither of them had any clear recollections of the night before, either. Shuna fell back asleep, so I had Arvin carry him for us. I checked my wallet and equipment to be sure, but I hadn’t lost anything aside from a little money.

The Kingdom of Remlia was teeming with public baths thanks to its abundant springs and its inexhaustible stores of emiluminite, a kind of fuel source. Some were even coed, which no one even batted an eye at.

None of what I saw around me looked familiar. According to Isolla, we were in an upper-class residential neighborhood where merchants and elite adventurers made their homes, an area I wouldn’t normally have occasion to visit. No wonder the buildings all looked so brand spanking new.

We turned up at the public bath to find a disclaimer designating it for men only. As it was still very early in the morning, we were the only ones in the dressing room and reception area aside from the employees. They evidently also offered laundry services, so I left our clothes to them and paid up front for the cleaning and the entrance fee. It came out to three silver coins for the three of us. We locked our valuables in a steel safe that they carefully guarded for us. After hanging the key to open the safe on a string around my neck, I stepped into the sauna area.

We had it all to ourselves. It looked much like any other stone bathhouse, with two large tubs as big as pools and a small one filled with cold water to adjust the heat of the others. It had dried loofah-like plants and soap for scrubbing, chairs—oh, and two gorgeous ladies, a beastmaid and a heim, there to wash your body for you. Manners in this dimension also dictated you get yourself clean before dipping in the tub.

The two ladies cooed seductively as they approached Arvin and Shuna. Predictably, their conversations revolved around the Dark Crowned monster we’d slain the day before. I hadn’t anticipated the news would find its way out here so quickly.

Shuna turned beet red as the beastmaid rinsed off his back. Arvin and the heim whispered in soft, sultry, R-rated tones. Her hand snaked down toward the space between his legs. And I…well, I sat there scrubbing away all by myself.

Once clean, the three of us lowered ourselves into the tub. The water ran a little hot but felt nice and soothing. Arvin and I both stopped Shuna from swimming around. After a shoulder-deep soak in the warm bath, we competed against each other to see who could stand to stay in the cold water the longest. That soon started to get ridiculous, though, so we warmed up in the regular tub once more and left.

Our clean laundry awaited us. I slid my arm through my crisp, dry fatigues and retrieved my weapons. My stomach let out a low grooowl. We’d just spent the whole night there, but I decided it’d be better to head back to the boss’s bar instead of chancing some random place and winding up with angry stomachs. After we got to the place, we bid good morning to the waitresses we recognized, took our seats, then ordered an assortment of food and drink. It wasn’t bad, per se. The usual flavors, made with quality ingredients, satiated my hunger.

“So……” We’d reached the laid-back moments after a meal ends. Both Arvin and Shuna washed away the last lingering flavors of their food with a beverage. Then, finally, “Why the hell did you tell everyone we helped you?!” I pressed.

“Took you long enough to ask.” An uninterested tone tinged Shuna’s voice, as if this didn’t involve him. It pissed me off.

“Well, I had a reason.” Yeah, I’d hope so, Master Arvin.

Still: “We all promised to keep this secret when we teamed up, right?! You’re supposed to keep your promises! That’s what they’re for!”

“All right, all right, Souya, take a breath. Let me start from the beginning.” Arvin raised his hands as if in surrender. Shuna haughtily turned away, clearly peeved.

“Right. First, let’s look at Shuna’s strike that cleaved the dragonoise in half. We can start there.” I had to hand it to the kid, that was incredible. Also, he should’ve told me sooner if he had that kind of trick up his sleeve. If I’d known, we might not have had such a tough time of it.

“That blow, the ‘Hero’s Strike,’ traces back to Gladwein’s most famous legend and has the power to destroy any enemy with draconic roots,” the knight explained. “You’ve heard of how she felled the Wicked Dragon, haven’t you?”

“Yeah. Her weapon broke, so she had to kill it with her bare hands, right?” A truly inhuman move.

“Technically, no. Gladwein sacrificed her own weapon to fatally wound the dragon, then finished it off with her bare hands. Shuna reproduced that legendary blow. It was a miracle, one you couldn’t execute with half-baked talent or any old blade.”

“Was it magic?” If staves and heraldic badges functioned as media to conjure mana, then it stood to reason you could entreat the gods and goddesses to deliver a miracle through your sword or skills.

“In a sense, yes. It only uses the smallest drop of mana. Our duty as disciples is to recreate the legends and histories of the gods with whom we’ve consecrated a covenant. Regardless of what they might want, followers get roped into the same fate that befalls their deity. Whether you’d call that a miracle or a curse is up to the person living through it.”

“Art thou willing to plot against the royal and slaughter the heroic?”

Those were the vows I’d pledged when I consecrated my covenant with Lady Mythlanica. Did this mean I would get dragged into her destiny? I had, in fact, already attempted to murder a royal. But was I meant to do that second part, too? Not a chance.

“Shuna inherited his sword from his master. Its origins are a mystery, but it was made of immaculate steel. Unfortunately, its inscription was scratched away, so we don’t even know the name of the bladesmith who forged it. And given how thoroughly it was destroyed, it can never be repaired.”

If memory served, his sword had shattered into tiny fragments. Even if we gathered all of them and tried to put them together like a jigsaw puzzle, we might not ever have all the pieces.

“That blade had more to it than steel. It carried memories of a beastmaid who washed ashore all alone on a remote land, of every blade she crossed, the many years spent at her side, the care she devoted to a young boy, and the blow that rent a dragonoise in two.”

“……That makes sense.” I still couldn’t see where this was going, though.

“Right. So here’s the main part of the story. Shuna’s master, a beastmaid called Legure the Graceful, has ties to my own master, Zammonglace.”

Looks like this is a small world after all, too. Wait, don’t tell me—did Pops know about this when he put us together?

“My master mentioned her only once over drinks one night. He told me there had been a family of beastfolk convicted of a crime that remains unclear. One of the magistrates arrested, toyed with, and executed them all—the same old story. Except this time, someone started murdering the magistrate’s guards after that, one by one, day after day. The surviving members of his unit went half-mad, worried they’d be next, and the magistrate came crying to my master for help. As an official knight of Ellusion, my master couldn’t very well turn him away. And regardless of the circumstances, he couldn’t leave a murderer on the loose.

“Zammonglace took his apprentices out to search for the bandit and came upon a young girl, a beastmaid with a longsword far too big for her across her back. Apparently, my master’s apprentices failed to take her seriously and paid for it in defeat within a matter of seconds. Luxgarre, much younger at the time, was one of those apprentices. For the record and these knights’ honor, I assure you our training is not so benign as to produce soldiers easily defeated by a momentary slip of caution. They just happened to face an extraordinarily formidable opponent. After neutralizing every single guard, the young girl stood before my master and apparently said, ‘Neither of us will come out unscathed if we cross swords. I’ll give you my right arm—in exchange, let me kill that man.’ After much wavering, Zammonglace attributed the official’s death to illness and took the one-armed young girl as his consort.”

Hmm? Mr. Zammonglace? I hadn’t pegged you as such a lecherous man, my friend.

“That’s disgusting. It’s indecent.” Shuna, I couldn’t agree more.

“That said, the ‘consort’ title was merely a cover to placate onlookers. The only way people with any social standing in Ellusion can keep a beastfolk person close to them and avert public scrutiny is by labeling them a slave or a consort.”

“Hmph.” That apparently did nothing to placate the boy, who looked irascible. I could see why. It must have been one messed-up roller coaster of a ride to learn that your crush had been someone’s on-staff lover. The fact that the other person in that equation was your party member’s teacher only complicated things more.

“My master told me he one day asked Legure, ‘Why did you draw your blade for that family of beastfolk?’ This is the most stunning part, but she apparently did it because they had once given her a loaf of bread when she’d been starving. I know the misery of starvation all too well. But to risk your life over a mere loaf of bread and sacrifice your right arm without a moment’s hesitation—that sort of conviction is unfathomable from a knight’s perspective. Still, everything about her, from her blade to her skills with it, was entirely authentic. As my master tells it, she eventually disappeared from his sight without so much as a farewell. Fate is such a curious thing, though. Who could have foreseen it would bring us here together like this?”

“Yeah, my master was a little too thin when I first met her, too,” Shuna recalled, staring off into the distance. “I wonder if she’s eating enough.”

“All that lengthy preamble is to say: Shuna’s Heroic Strike deserved to be praised, along with his master. That was never up for debate. But the moment we recognized Legure, I essentially announced to the public that I’d been working with a beastmaid’s disciple. I knew this would displease Sir Werner in particular, so I decided I’d disclose that I’d teamed up with elves as well.”

“The hell?” Hold up, that makes no sense.

Shuna’s master had shared an intimate relationship with Arvin’s, but the knight could have brushed that off with any number of excuses. It wouldn’t have left more than a scratch on his reputation. So why did he have to turn that scrape into a fatal wound by exposing he’d teamed up with elves?

“Souya, this is the comeuppance I deserve for the sin of becoming a knight. I shudder to consider how stringently and fastidiously they execute their intolerance of anything ‘other.’ There’s the war against the Black Elves, the internal battles for dominance among the popes, enslaved beastfolk and heim rebellions, and a mysterious disease infecting every corner of Ellusion. The knights deceive, murder, burn, and lynch the very citizens they are sworn to serve. The corruption runs so deep that both the Church of St. Lillideas and her knights have come to symbolize terror and death at the stake. I’ve heard distant rumors that my master could no longer bear to watch and left the Central Continent outright.

“The way things stand now,” he added, “parley with someone in any way associated with beastfolk would mark me as a deviant. A reputation once tarnished has no further left to fall, no matter the toll of dishonorable deeds. That’s why I disclosed my relationship to the elves. Forgive me. I feared you would see me in a different light if I confessed the true state of knighthood in my country.”

Yeah, probably—but then again.…

“Look, Arvin—”

“What the hell do I care about all that shit?” Shuna cut in. “Don’t go writin’ us off like that. Plus, you’re an ex-knight, aren’t ya? All that’s got nothin’ to do with you. And I’m not just gonna drop someone who I’ve trusted with my life like a piece of trash.”

“Shuna, you really are still a child,” sighed Arvin.

“The hell’d you say?” he growled, enraged. I had to agree with Arvin on this one.

“People hate every last drop of blood in the bodies of those they despise,” he explained. “Actually, that loathing extends to anyone who’s ever dirtied their hands simply by knowing the targets of their fury. It would have been better for you all never to have had anything to do with me.”

“Then we’re already screwed.”

“It’s just a metaphor. I’m not asking you to commit yourself to tha—”

“Arvin,” I interrupted, trying to swerve the conversation away from crashing into unsavory territory. “I have a question. Now that you’ve admitted to working with elves, how exactly are you planning to plead your sister’s case?”

Did he not see the looks Werner and Luxgarre shot him as they left? Those eyes saw nothing but an enemy.

“How do you imagine King Remlia went from adventurer to king?” he asked in response.

“He went on all these heroic expeditions and—” I was foggy on the details. His Highness hadn’t mentioned that part over drinks the other night.

“Of course, nothing would have been possible without those daring deeds, or the discovery of the previous marquis’s wrongdoing. But the reason Ellusion supported this mere adventurer’s claim to the throne lies in this: Remlia ole Armaguest Rhasvah.

“The Armaguest part of the king’s name refers to something he obtained deep in the Tower of Legions, though that is all I know. But what if the Church of St. Lillideas wanted to keep that secret something hidden?

“There’s a mystery I’ve been pondering over for a while. There are countless dungeons in this world, yet the church has from times of old always sent a disproportionate number of knights specifically to the Tower of Legions. In other words, somewhere within this dungeon slumber the second and third Armaguests.”

“Arvin, that way lies peril.” Far too much of it.

Searching for something you had no reliable information about was reckless in itself; hopeless, even, considering the time I had left here. And assuming we could find it, would Ellusion even consider negotiating with us?

The way I saw it, whatever that Armaguest thing was had the power to shake the church’s foundations. It would probably disappear us and be done with it. Without an exceptionally clever political strategy or powerful allies, a few random people would never stand a chance in a battle against an entire nation.

“Souya, I’m fully aware of the risks involved. But let me ask you this: How many days has it been since we began to work as a party?”

“Hmm? Uhhh—”

“Forty days, Sir Arvin,” Isolla informed us.

“Right, still only forty days. And in that time, we’ve distinguished ourselves among the parties which formed at the same time. Nothing about us, from our battle prowess, strategical calculations, economic power, and connections to the engagements we’ve waged against the Skeleton King and the Dark Crown fits the description of an initiate party. Souya, exploring the dungeon with all of you has convinced me of a few things: that this party has the potential to accomplish remarkable feats and that our names will go down in history. I believe we could earn the honor and glory to mobilize an entire country. Together, there is nothing we cannot do.”

He overestimated us. I wanted so badly to throw a wet blanket on Arvin and his passionate speech, but I couldn’t speak. Maybe his speech inspired a humble pride in me, or maybe I wanted to live up to my friend’s expectations. No one had ever had this much confidence in me. Up until now, I’d just gritted my teeth and done the best I could. At the same time, if we’d let that internal discord keep festering, it could have slowly ripped us apart at the seams and led us to our deaths. Our party would benefit if the seven of worked together out in the open. However—

“Arvin, are you sure about this? Your original goal to save your sister has gotten even more complicated, you know?”

“I understand that.”

“But—” Shuna kicked me lightly.

“You’re the only one who won’t shut up and accept it. You’re so frickin lame, worryin’ like that. Éa and Lana said okay right away, you know.”

“Seriously?” They’d go behind my back like that?

“Well, they said they would defer to you.”

“That makes more sense. Don’t scare me like that.”

“Tch!”

““Don’t click your tongue at people!”” Arvin and I scolded Shuna in unison.

You’re pretty famous now, you know? Act like it. I know you’re a kid, but don’t be childish.

“So Souya. What are you going to do?”

“Hmm, yeaaah.” I covered my eyes to consider his question. But honestly, I didn’t even have the stamina left to think. This had been settled from the start. Arvin had stayed steady and true ever since I came to this world. We’d just have to think on our feet and put all we had into doing everything we possibly could.

“Let’s do this, all seven of us. But this time, we’re one party.”

“Aye.” For the second time, Arvin and I shook on it. “So now you’re officially our leader, Souya.”

“Yeah. I can’t promise I can do much, but I’ll try my best.”

“In that case, forgive me for cutting right to the chase, but we’re going to need you to reregister our party, pay the Guild our taxes, and get either them or one of the trade groups to give us good prices on the dragonoise materials, if you would.”

“……Hey.”

“Ha-ha-ha! I swear, I hardly knew how to react when they asked me how much I wanted for each part by weight. I was at my wits’ end!”

This asshole—did he just shove all the leader stuff onto me because he couldn’t be bothered? No, that can’t be it. Can it?

“Leader, could you get me a new sword? I need it exactly the same size as the last one. It’d be great to have three extras, too. I won’t ask for the moon, but I want them in Lumileux steel. Oh, and bring some shrimp pizza along on the next expedition. I want one that’s fresh outta the oven and super cheesy.”

“Don’t hold your breath.” Didn’t take him a second to go off the rails. Arvin wasn’t far behind.

“Leader, Zenobia’s got tabs open at a few bars, so make sure you settle those for us. Oh, and I wanted to send my shield and armor in for maintenance, but the last smithy closed down. Can you find a skilled, cheap blacksmith to do it?”

“Oi.” Zenobia, why’re you running up all these tabs? And hell if I know anything about blacksmiths. Guess I’ll have to ask my gentleman friends at the Zavah Night Owl and Ellomere trade groups.

“Oh, and one more thing.”

“There’s more?!” The cavalier way he was rattling all these items off gave me the nervous sweats. In a way, it probably made sense for me to take over at this point. I didn’t even want to think about how deep in debt we could have fallen if I’d put it off any longer.

Just when this summary of all the work I would need to tackle had me exasperated, I heard, “Huuuh? Some party of initiates bagged that Dark Crown? Big whoop—that ain’t nothin’ but beginner’s luck.”

“Wait, you didn’t hear? Word is one of ’em was Gladwein’s disciple.”

Or so I heard the conversation behind me go. Strangely enough, it’s always the shit talkers who have the loudest voices. Guess they just don’t even realize how rude they are.

“Glaaadwein? Ohhh, right, right. You mean that whore who made some excuse about her armor breaking and jerked a dragon off to make it her bitch, yeah? I mean, what kinda slut goes around waving her ass and pantin’ at a big ol’ lizard? Ba-ha-ha-ha!”

Daaamn.

Stealing a glance behind me, I saw two men. Their dingy raiment intimated they were no amateurs but more likely failed mercenaries. Judging by the fact that only their adventuring equipment looked brand-new, they’d probably switched over to this line of work relatively recently. In other words, they hadn’t spent much time here yet.

Figures. No one halfway decent in our line of work would dare run their mouth about a god or goddess in this town—especially not one with such hot-blooded disciples. Do these guys really not notice all the adventurers—including Shuna—getting up from their chairs and closing in on them?

“Wh-what’s your problem?” They’d finally caught on. Lady Gladwein’s followers looked at each other in the ring they’d made around the men, trying to decide who’d get the honors.

“Right, Shuna, you’re up.”

“Understood.”

A middle-aged beastman gave the boy the order; everyone but him took a step back.

“What in the—? What the hell d’ya want, Little Miss Redhead?”

“The fu—?!”

Ohhh man. He just had to use the worst word possible.

Shuna rammed his fist into the face of the guy who’d made the grave mistake of addressing him like a girl, spun him around about three times, then slammed him into the ground, face-first. Still not satisfied, he started wiping the dude’s mug across the ground like a dirty mop.

“Y-you bastard!” The guy still sitting jumped up with astonishing speed, unsheathing the longsword at his waist and swinging it down on Shuna in one swift motion. Seeming almost too bored to move, Shuna reached over his shoulder and—grabbed nothing but air.

“Ah,” he sputtered dumbly. The fool had totally forgotten he didn’t have his sword. In that brief opening, the other man’s blade came within lethal striking distance. Shit, I thought, but just then, Arvin shot out his arm to catch the blow on his armor, then kicked the guy down and stomped on him.

“This came to mind back during the dragonoise fight, too, but your endgame needs serious work,” chided Arvin.

“……Arvin. You messed up big-time.” Shuna looked anguished.

“Hey, you, reject knight.” The same middle-aged beastman gave Arvin a withering glare. “You do realize you’ve tarnished our pride, don’t you?”

““Huh?”” both Arvin and I blurted out in confusion. Shuna cradled his head in his hands, though I was sure he hadn’t been injured.

“Gladwein disciples handle our fights alone. You get in big trouble if you interrupt one.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” I asked, but he cut me off to address my party member.

“Shuna, you’re going to need to wash your dishonor off with your own hands. You know what to do, right?”

“Yes.”

“Wait, what’s going on?” This could not be good. A menacing energy supercharged the air.

Turning to Arvin, Shuna muttered, “Arvin, fight me.”

---

Lady Gladwein’s quarters sat tucked away close to the Kingdom of Remlia’s western gate. She’d ostensibly set up a fort there to be the first line of defense if any foreign enemies attacked—but I think that in reality, she just wanted to be the first on the battlefield.

The two-story residential complex wrapped around a central training ground that for some reason, maybe to prevent injuries, had sand layered over it. Of course, it also had a stockpile of basically every weapon you’d ever need for training to fight in this world. You could tell how deeply the disciples’ respected the tools of their craft by how thoroughly they organized and maintained them all.

The place reeked of blood and sweat, which brought me back to my old kendo studio. Shuna and Arvin stood off in front of one another in the center of the training pit. About twenty of Lady Gladwein’s followers looked on, plus me.

How did we get here?

“We will now commence the duel between Dragonshell Slasher Shuna and Arvin the Dragon Scale. The battle stems from Arvin’s actions, which tarnished the honor of one of our own. Both of you, keep this a clean fight that will not bring shame upon your respective gods and goddesses. Do not take your opponent’s life. Put your pride on the line. Whoever forces their opponent to concede defeat or lose consciousness first shall be declared the winner,” the middle-aged beastman declared. “Any objections?”

Just a few, but he’d ignored every objection I’d brought up on the way here. The biggest problem was—

“A question. I tried and failed to pass Lady Gladwein’s trials. What would happen if I defeated Shuna, an official disciple?”

—how pumped Arvin had gotten about this.

Stroking his long beard, the beastman responded, “Fair inquiry. I would not dare mistrust milady’s judgment, but if you come out on top, you’ll have proved your worth, and I will plead your case to her.”

“Very well.” He laughed darkly.

Shuna hadn’t said a word. Looking resentful, he then asked, “You sayin’ you think you can beat me?”

“I’d ask you the same,” Arvin shot back, raising his wooden sword and shield. The boy had seemed rather reluctant up to that point, but he shook all hesitancy off and drew his own wooden sword.

“Now begin!” The two lunged at each other.

So you’re just gonna ignore every last one of your new leader’s warnings, aren’t you?

“All right, lads! Place your bets!” the beastman boomed, then started taking wagers on which of the fighters would win. It rubbed me the wrong way for some reason. For all their talk of honor, these guys just wanted live entertainment. “C’mon, boys! Put a few coins down on Lord Knight, too! This bet won’t be worth anythin’ if we all go for Shuna! Hey, how about you? Who’s your money on?”

Firmly ignoring the infuriating fellow, I turned my attention on Shuna and Arvin. Shuna had the upper hand in terms of attack, while Arvin had the more solid defense. Not only was Shuna missing his beloved blade, however, but the wooden one in his hand also weighed very little. His combat style hinged on his putting his entire body behind a heavy weapon, then exploding at his enemy from below with a low-angled, difficult-to-parry strike. In essence, he practiced an irregular kind of swordsmanship. Now, however, it was as if one of his wings had been torn off. Plus, much of the power behind unusual techniques like his lay in the element of surprise. Once your opponent learned to read your movements, the potential damage you could inflict was halved.

Arvin, on the other hand, had mastered an orthodox, one-on-one way of the blade. He simply used his shield to deflect an attack, then countered with his sword. He did, however, knock people to the ground or slash at them with his shield as well. His firm grasp on traditional skills gave him freedom to apply and remix them however he liked to devastating effect. He’d fall short of nonhumans in some respects, but he had unwavering strength before a human opponent.

I didn’t place any bets, but figured the odds leaned in Arvin’s favor. His shield shut every one of Shuna’s blows down, and the knight hadn’t even budged behind it. The way I saw it, the crucial difference between these two lay in their body types. That included more than just their height; it meant their weight, build, and muscle mass. If they kept clashing against each other head-on, the duel was as good as over.

Still, if Shuna didn’t have what it took to turn that weakness around, he’d never have been able to stand toe-to-toe with either the Skeleton King or the dragonoise. After about the tenth time their blades clashed, he shifted his stance. Holding the butt of the sword in his right hand, Shuna lightly gripped the rest of the handle with his left. He took a huge leap backward, then sprinted at Arvin as if drawn by some powerful force and thrust the weapon at him.

That strike Arvin dodged; he’d judged that the brittle wooden board he had for a shield would break on impact. It was the wrong move. Shuna dropped his blade and grabbed Arvin’s shield. Then he stepped on Arvin’s knee, clambered onto his shoulders, and jumped as if from a diving board. With astounding grace and spring, he executed a beautiful tumble through the air. Coupled with the velocity of his leap, the spin’s centrifugal force enabled Shuna to pummel Arvin with a kick that crushed the wooden shield and sent him flying.

“Yeaaaah!” the peanut gallery roared. It had taken me aback, too. Had he always been able to pull off acrobatic stunts like that? Still, while Shuna’s kick had tossed him from his spot, Arvin was otherwise basically unharmed. He broke his fall with relative ease and brushed the footprint off his breastplate.

“Hmm.” I wasn’t quite sure why, but Arvin threw down his sword. Then, piece by piece, he unhooked and removed his armor.

“Huh?” Shuna looked just as baffled.

“Now we’re even.” Freshly stripped of all his armor and in now much lighter gear, Arvin cracked his knuckles.

“Bring it on, dumbass!” Shuna took the bait, got riled up, and rushed headfirst toward his opponent.

“Ah, that idiot!” groaned the beastman.

Just as he’d feared, Arvin’s perfectly straight jab caught Shuna flat in the face. Shuna had shot out his fist out, too, but his arm couldn’t reach all the way. That one hit could not have stopped the duel even if Arvin had wanted it to; instead, it marked the start of a full-blown brawl. Fists pounded against flesh, blood sprayed in all directions, bones crunched, and both their ryviuses drained at a steady clip. Shuna ducked a punch, plowed into Arvin’s chest, then hooked him in the side.

“Rgh!” The knight kicked the boy away using his physical stature to keep the upper hand. Worked up by the no-holds-barred scuffle, Gladwein’s disciples howled even louder.

“Shuna! Don’t stop those legs! Keep moving!”

“Hey! Knight! His legs—take out his legs!”

“The eyes! Go for the eyes!”

“Gouge out his stomach!”

“Bust his jaw open!”

“C’mon, show us a real rumble!”

That’s when the last of my patience ran out. I kicked up the sword Shuna had dropped and nocked it to my bow.

“Hey, wait, what’re you—” The beastman spotted me, but I gave zero shits.

“Arvin!”

“Wha—?!” I released the wooden blade. It whacked him right in the temple, just as I’d intended. He fell to his knees, then blacked out.

“What the hell, Souya?” Shuna demanded, stomping over to me. Without saying a word, I put my hand on his shoulder and swept his feet out from under him. “Wha—”

From there I held him down, digging my knee into his neck and putting all my weight behind it.

“?!?!!” He patted my leg over and over to tap out, but I ignored him. Soon enough, his hand flopped over.

After making sure they were both down for the count, I—

“You bastaaaaaard!!” Now then, how do I get around this irate dude? “How dare you interrupt a divine duel?! You’d better be ready to pay an arm for that at least!”

The beastman brandished his weapon—a wide bastard sword. He had everything over me. Unless I’d judged incorrectly, he had more brute strength than Arvin and skills on par with Shuna’s. How was I supposed to take on a guy like that?

But first, I had something to say to these punks.

“Like I give a rat’s ass, you goddamn imbeciles! We’ve got another expedition tomorrow! Full schedule and everything! You stay the hell outta my way! If you’re that thirsty for blood, go watch some pigs duke it out for all I care!”

“……Quite the bark you got there. Let’s see if your bite lives up to it.” He strode toward me. I nocked a normal arrow.

Guess I’ll do what I can.

I loosed the arrow at the beastman without even looking at him. He caught my ammunition with his bare hand, then tossed it away. Staring right at his forehead this time, I unleashed several arrows in a row. He saw through my feint, and my shots drove into the wall.

Next up—

I nocked two arrows and fired them so they sandwiched him. That didn’t bother him in the slightest; he kept walking. Both shots missed him by a hairbreadth. Superbly minimalistic dodging, but—

“Ruh?”

—his belt snapped off and his pants fell, weighed down by the steel sheath that hung from them. They got caught up around his knees, making it difficult for him to walk. Embarrassed in front of all his fellow disciples, the beastman immediately crouched to retrieve his drawers—and in doing so, gave me an opening to close the space between us.

I rammed my knee into his face with all my strength, feeling his nose crunch beneath it. Blood splattered grotesquely over his face, and he flew into a light panic, doubtless since some of the blood had traveled down his throat and made him choke. Impressively, he still did not release his sword.

Calmly, I slipped behind him and whipped out my garotte, a simple tool constructed from a fiber rope with a handle on each end for easier gripping—a strangulation weapon. I roped it around his neck and pulled him up on my back. My merciless arm strength and the beastman’s own weight immediately tightened the twine against him. After getting roped into (and losing) several brawls here, I’d learned from my defeats and settled on this method. Knocking their brains around in their heads or strangling them were two surefire ways to take down even the bulkiest of opponents. Not even the ryvius could help them then.

After seeing his blade fall, I waited about six more seconds to completely knock him out. I unwrapped the garotte from his neck and lay him on the ground. Bubbles foamed at his mouth. He was a man of this world—he’d bounce back soon enough.

“……”

Without so much as a word, a new devotee stepped up to meet me. He was a reptilian beastman: His eyes slanted narrowly to the sides, and scales crept over his cheeks and neck. A tail thicker than his thighs snaked out behind him. You never could tell by appearances here, but he looked around twelve, thirteen. Androgynous and on the smaller side, he had fiery red hair.

“So you’re up next?”

“……” Say something, man. Don’t make this awkward.

Murderous stares shot my way from every direction. Now it was too late to regret or back down. I’d take out as many as I could and go down with them.

“Ahh, give it up, give it up, lads,” a voice rang out, and I felt a shaggy hand laid on my head. “There’s no valor to be gained fighting this pitiful, frail little chap. If anything, you’ll only lose it by attempting to fight him.”

“Ah, Lord Baafre.”

There stood an enormous wolfman. In modern-day terms, he was what you’d call a true beastman. Everyone else was more like a half beast. A lycan, he’d protected the Right Continent from the deadly threat of vampires. He was the last living Endguard and the original owner of my bow.

“Now, Souya. I just popped by to mooch some cash from Gladwein to help fill my howling belly, but what in the dark moon is all this fuss?”

“Umm, it’s too much of a pain to fill you in. Do I have to? We’ll make a run for it, so please hold them off for a few minutes. I’ll owe you drinks.”

“Of course, be my guest.” He generously agreed to help just as the beastman I’d strangled started to come to.

I piled Arvin and Shuna on my back, then lifted them up. Damn, they’re heavy. So goddamn heavy.

Just as I was about to scurry away—

“What is the meaning of all this commotion?” asked a woman’s booming voice, ringing out loud and clear. My eyes were drawn to her billowing blond hair, her healthy bronze skin, the gorgeous muscles rippling over every inch of her body, her voluptuous bosom—and the bikini armor she wore. This was Gladwein, a recently deified goddess who’d earned her divinity from the tale of her slaying the Wicked Dragon.

“Master Baafre, is this your doing?” she asked him.

“Hardly, I just arrived.”

“Someone explain.” Murmurs buzzed through the crowd of her followers.

The beastman I’d taken down approached her, shaking his head back and forth. “I-I’m terribly sorry, milady. I was only attempting to do away with this man who intruded upon a duel, but—”

“Gainz, did you lose to him?”

“No, I merely let down my guard for a second, but I swear I—” He started to say something like didn’t lose on my own strength.

There was Lady Gladwein’s fist, raised toward the heavens. And there was the beastman, flying through said heavens. Those were the only two things my eyes managed to register.

“Even the strongest among us face defeat. However, does loss make one weak? No. The truly strong use their failures to catapult themselves ever higher. Only the feeble cannot own their shortcomings.”

The beastman’s flight came to an end as he crashed into the ground with a fleshy splat.

“Gainz, I ask you once more. Are you weak? Or are you my strong disciple?”

“I……I’m so very s-sorry, milady.” His ryvius had been totally drained, so his face looked a nasty mess. Still, he clung to consciousness and apologized to his beloved goddess.

“I am not the one in need of an apology, am I?”

“You, insidious four-eyes. That was a brilliant show of—” Aaand he completely ran out of gas. He’s not dead, is he?

“Now then, Otherworlder. I believe the last time we met, you came with Evetta, did you not?”

“You remember me?”

Lady Gladwein stepped closer. I felt the most overwhelming aura from this totally natural movement. She was on a completely different level.

“My disciple has behaved rudely to you. Please forgive him.”

“Of course. It’s no trouble. If you’ll excuse me, I really should get going.” I just wanted to get out of there.

“Nevertheless, the fact that you’ve defiled the sanctity of a duel remains. For that, you shall receive a fitting punishment.”

“Huh?” That can’t be fair. Who knows how badly they would’ve messed up our plans if I’d let those two meatheads keep beating each other to a pulp?

“We have our own sense of pride, however foolish it may seem. Many have protected and passed these values down for generations. Some have risked their lives, and others have lost them in that effort. This rule must be shown proper respect. An outsider with naught but shallow roots here has no right to change that. Otherworlder, this is our tradition.”

“……” Tradition, huh? That’s one of the hardest things for a Japanese person to argue against. “In any case, please tell me what you’d like me to do.” For some reason, I found myself hiding behind Lord Baafre—hopefully, this Endguard would ultimately protect me.

“By all rights, I should demand you atone for this in blood. However, you showed great skill in defeating Gainz, regardless of what foxy schemes you employed. You’ve proven your mettle. Hmm, let me see… As a compromise, how about you pay for this transgression with a meal?”

“Huh?” Wait, with food?

“Otherworlder, I have heard tell you cured the king of his ailments with a delicacy called ‘rahmen.’ My followers apply themselves to intense, grueling training every day. We take care to keep them in good health, yet some fall ill even so. I shall have you ease my devotees’ pains with this ‘rahmen’ of yours.”

Ramen’s not a cure-all, you know?! But whatever.

“All…right.” We should have enough packs of ramen for that. At least, just barely enough to cover everyone.

“Also…”

“?”

Lady Gladwein continued. “It appears you took the elven princess as your wife. I hereby invite her to the meal. Bring her with you.”

“As a hostage? In that case, may I interest you in Lord Baafre as a—”

“Oi.” This guy would probably never die, no matter how much you killed him.

“Do not think me so loathsome. I merely wish to look upon her face. I had heard she was in town, but fate has not yet brought us together. This is a perfect opportunity.”

But why Lana? I wanted to ask but thought it best to refrain for the moment. In fact, I already had a pretty good idea.

“Understood. Give me a little time, if you would.”

“I’m starving. Hurry it up.”

I ignored Lord Baafre, said my good-byes, and left Lady Gladwein’s quarters. Before I could get started on the feast, I had somewhere I needed to take these two idiots.

---

“Anyway, Machina, that’s the story. Get all the packages of instant ramen we have out for me. Éa won’t like it, but I’ll cheer her up later.”

“Roger. We have one hundred fifty left in total. Will this suffice?”

“From the rough head count I took, there seemed to be about twenty disciples in all…… I hope it’s enough.”

“We can use toppings to add volume. I’ll get a few options together. Machina over and out.”

Now then, it was probably about time for them to wake up.

“Squad Member Souya, I do not approve of this strategy,” Isolla chastised me as she hung from my waist.

“Disapproval overruled. Our expedition depends on this.”

“Are you sure you’re not only using that as an excuse to have others help you carry your guilt?”

“That’s not what this is. I have to do this. Our expedition depends on it.”

“Sorry, but do you intend to explain everything away with that one phrase?”

“Exactly. I’m willing to overlook a certain level of nastiness as long as it’s vital to our work.”

“How indecent.” She was getting on my nerves, so I muted her. “?!?!”

Her little arms banged against me. That got old quick, so I wound the garotte around her and stuffed her in my backpack.

“Ugh.” Shuna came to first. “What the—?”

As soon as he registered his alarm, Arvin woke up, too. “Ngh… Where are we?”

“Morning, boys.” They both recoiled a bit at my menacing demeanor.

“What the hell, Souya?” I ignored Shuna’s protests. It was only fair—they’d ignored all of mine.

“Could you tell us what this is all about?” Arvin asked. He tried to look calm, but the beads of sweat on his brow gave him away.

I’d had no other choice but to put them in this position. They lay next to each other on a bed, hands tied behind their backs, one ankle each chained to a corner of the bed. Yeah, I could see why they’d freak out.

“You know, friends, I’m very sad right now.”

“Hell if I care. Let me go.”

Ignored. “We finally came together, officially united, and just as I was planning to lead us into another expedition, you both decide to bash each other up until your ryviuses run dry. If I left you like that, we’d have to cancel our plans tomorrow. Same goes for the day after that, depending on your condition.”

“Aye, Souya. I admit I could’ve acted more maturely. But now that I’ve stepped down as leader, we can work out exactly where Shuna and I stand in our party so that going forward—”

“Shut the hell up.” I glowered Arvin into silence. “Sometimes you do just have to duke things out. Friendships can certainly blossom that way. But you need to know when to call it.”

“Well, yeah, but that’s not how Gladwein’s pride—”

“Then you should’ve told us to watch out for that from the beginning, dumbass! We only got into this mess because you—completely forgetting you didn’t have a sword—decided to pick a fight with some random stranger, remember?!”

“Huh? No, but……yeah.” Shuna conceded the tiniest bit of guilt.

“Souya, don’t go so hard on him. I also—”

I stopped Arvin right there. “Don’t try to act like you’re above all this. Deep down, you’re exactly like Shuna—just a goddamn child who wants to stand at the top of the class by proving he’s the best. And what’s worse, you still pretend like you’re more mature than that.”

“Gah!” He seemed wounded; guess I’d hit the nail on the head.

“Pfft, he called you out,” snickered the boy.

“Shuna, you’re literally just a child.”

“Wha—?!” That also hit him where it hurt.

“Come onnn, guys. Getting upset when someone calls you childish is the best way to prove them right. Grow the hell up. I don’t give a shit if you risk your life to protect your pride, or fight, or get passionate about something other than dungeon diving. But you need to know where to draw the line. You’re adventurers, aren’t you? What’s the point in doing something that’s going to get in the way of your profession? It messes up my plans, see? Do you know how goddamn annoying it is to readjust them?!” I ranted, kicking the bed over and over again.

“F-forgive me, Souya. I’ll be more careful.”

“…My bad.”

Such were their apologies.

“You’re just saying that to get out of this, aren’t you?”

““……””

Watching them in that moment, I felt as if I were staring at my usual self in the mirror. I could read their minds like an open book.

“Well, whatever. Shuna, one question. How many followers does Lady Gladwein have in total?”

“Huh? Twenty-three. Why?”

“Souya, may I ask a question as well?”

“Go ahead, Master Arvin.”

“Where are we?”

“This—”

Just then we heard a knock. A word from me and the door to the room opened. “This is the Goddesses of Slumber and Fertility Parlor, a brothel catering specifically to adventurers.”

“Souya, thank you so much for waiting, meow,” Tutu greeted me as she led two other ladies into the room. “Allow me to introduce you all.”

A drop-dead gorgeous heim with long black hair took a seat on the bed next to Arvin. Though clad in a thin garment that left much for the eyes to feast on, she was surprisingly elegant.

“This young lady is Dicarte’s Black Pearl, Lady Andoula. She once served as a royal consort in the Right Continent, but thanks to sheer luck and some divine mischief, she now finds herself here. However, the Black Pearl shines with a mysterious, entrancing luster wherever she may go.”

Up next, a silver-haired beastmaid lay down at Shuna’s side. A single horn protruded from her forehead and a fluffy ball capped her thin, long tail. While her countenance retained a youthful feel, the subtle smile on her lips belonged to a proper succubus.

“This is Lutharuru, the Silver Enchantress. She has not been here for long, but I guarantee her lust and service are genuine. I imagine even the toughest of adventurers will sing like angelic little boys under her hands.”

Then Tutu sauntered around behind me and slid her arms around my waist. Thanks, but you don’t need to introduce yourself here.

“Souya, is this what I—”

“Oh no, my lord knight. You must look only upon me.”

---

---

And just like that, Andoula claimed Arvin’s lips. Watching a friend get down to it like this was more erotic than I’d thought.

“Souya! What the hell’s wrong with you?!”

“Heh, hee-hee, how adorable, master swordsman. Just leave everything to me. I’ll be gentle, and soon you’ll be melting in my hands.”

“Ah, hey! I mean, excuse me. Wait, sorry, seriously, n-not there—” She’s already won, Shuna. Let her show you how it’s done.

“Don’t worry, boys, I’m not gonna tell Bel or Zenobia about this! Lovely ladies of Lowomen, I’m counting on you to refill their ryviuses and wring every last drop (of exhaustion) you can out of them. Just make sure they don’t go too crazy and have to sit out tomorrow from back pain, please.”

““Okaaay. ♪”” After hearing that rosy response, I retired from the room.

“Souya, you don’t want to join them, meow?”

“Nah, that’s not really my thing.”

Tutu had followed me out. “Mrah, you’re such a meanie. You told me to wait for you, so I’ve been keeping an eye out ever since last night, but you never came.”

“When did I say that?”

“You were pretty drunk. Don’t you remember?”

“Sorry, not at all.” Blame it on the sleep deprivation and booze.

“Meow then, let’s slink off into a room of our own.”

“Tutu, do you mind if we get out of here?”

“Huh…? ……Okay, but just this once, meow. I’d only do this for you.”

Taking Tutu to go, I left the parlor.

---

Once again at the entrance to Lady Gladwein’s quarters, I met up with Lana and Éa.

“Here you go, Yaya. Everything you asked for.”

In a shockingly beyond-shocking twist, Éa pointed toward the wagon as if she wasn’t bothered at all. A mound of instant ramen cups hid under the bulky, cloth-covered pallet, but she didn’t even put up a fight. Little sisters grow so fast.

“Éa, Lana, I’m sorry to drag you out. Kind of a lot happened, and I agreed we’d all make and eat lunch here.”

“Darling, isn’t this—?

“A festering nest of Gladwein’s disciples that’s good for nothing but trouble.”

“Hmm? Then why would we eat here?” Lana asked, tilting her head in the most adorable way.

“It’s all Shuna and Arvin’s fault.”

“I don’t quite understand, but it sounds like you’ve had a trying day.”

“Hello, Mrs. Souya,” Tutu greeted her from behind me.

“Nice to see you, Lady Lowomen disciple.”

“Today, I’m…… Um, Souya, what did you want meow for here?”

“To help me make lunch.”

“……Seriously, I’m not doing this again. Mrah.”

“Sorry, I needed someone I could trust.”

“Prrr, what would you do without meow?” She perked up a little.

“Darling, I could’ve assisted you with the—”

“You were invited as a guest today, so we’ll handle it this time, okay?!”

“……Okay.” With time working against me, I was too afraid to risk a cooking accident.

Biting the bullet, I stepped once more into the residence. Eyes filled with blatant hatred for me and curiosity at the elven sisters fixed on us. Tutu clung fearfully to my poncho. Surprisingly, Lady Gladwein came to greet us herself.

“Welcome, Laualliuna. Ohhh, and if it isn’t Éa, too.”

The two knelt before the goddess, and Lana addressed her with courteous refinement. “Lady Gladwein, we are truly honored to have received your invitation today. Allow me to express our deepest gratitude on behalf of myself, my husband, and my sister. May fertile prosperity visit your esteemed forces.”

“I have no need for such formalities. You were still suckling your mother’s bosom when first you and I met, after all. My, how you’ve grown—in more ways than one—since then.”

“Oh, we’ve met before?” my wife asked, her voice full of surprise. Éa and I were right there with her.

“Did Mellum not tell you? He was once my disciple. In terms of swordplay alone, he ranked among the top five of my most skilled devotees. Have you any skill with the blade? Some of his talent must flow through you.”

“I’ve been studying magecraft for so long that I haven’t had the opportunity.”

“Acquiring all manner of knowledge can only help you as an adventurer. Let us see what you can do. Come.” Lady Gladwein took her hand. “Éa, you as well. Show me how one trained in beastfolk archery shoots.”

“Y-yes, milady,” Éa stammered, crumbling under her pressure.

“I met you, too, as a babe. You were a fussy child, always wailing at the top of your lungs. I had to let you suckle on my own breast before you finally calmed down.”

“Whaaat?!”

The goddess led the two elven sisters away to the training grounds, smiling warmly as if she’d been reunited with long-lost family.

“I’ll take you to the kitchen, Sou. Uh, Tutu, what’re you doing here?”

“Souya dragged meow into helping.”

Bel popped out from around a corner and began to lead us.

“Before we get started, Sou, there’s one thing I need to tell you,” she warned along the way. “I’ve heard most of what happened, and you should know Gladwein’s followers are pretty picky foodies. They’ve got relatively discerning palates, though they hardly taste anything after an extra-long day of training. But they’ve had lots of downtime today, so I’ll bet they’re gonna come down really hard on us. Actually, a bunch of them had planned to go defeat the dragonoise, so I can see them looking for something to complain about.”

“Got it.”

“And where are Shunie and S’Arvin?”

“They needed a break.”

Bel looked back and forth between Tutu and me. “Ahh, okay. Got it.” A truly perceptive young lass indeed.

We arrived at Gladwein’s kitchen, which beat the king’s in size. I could probably roll around on the enormous counters. It was equipped with six large pots, a full assortment of the cooking utensils commonly used here, and countless sharp knives set against the wall. One of them looked like it could cleave straight through a whole tuna.

It was also stocked with a wide variety of ingredients: meats, vegetables, and dairy products; liquors and spices; nuts, grains, fruits, and dried seafood. It even had some seasonings I’d never seen for sale in the markets.

Is it just me, or do they eat better than the king? Is he just too frugal?

Well, time to get to it. All we had to do was boil the ramen, but I wanted Tutu’s help since we had so many portions to make. I went to the wagon we’d parked out front and uncovered the pallet to take the ramen with…… There was no ramen.

“Yaya, Lady Gladwein’s busy with Lana, so I can give you a hand over here. Ha-ha!” The younger elf appeared out of thin air.

“Éa, where’s the ramen?”

My Otherworldly little sister flashed me a dazzling smile. “You didn’t really think I’d bring it, did you? It’s mine.”

“Wait, hold up. Then what’re we supposed to give these starving beasts?”

“Easy. I mean if you think about it, ramen’s just—”

---

The dining hall in the residence had seen better days but was a thoroughly clean and tidy space. It buzzed with chatter. Lady Gladwein sat at the head of a long table with Éa and Lana at either side, and Lord Baafre was an empty chair away from Lana. All the food had been laid out; I had nothing left to do but wait for them to dig in.

I felt a murderous hostility aimed toward me. Bel and Tutu took their seats, too. Looked like I was the last one standing. Lord Baafre waved me over, so I filled the seat next to him.

“Silence,” Lady Gladwein ordered, and quiet immediately filled the room. “Our lunch has come rather late today, but do forgive us. As for you, Souya, well done completing the sudden task I put before you. I imagine it cost you no small trouble. Though discord may have brought us together, let us now share this feast and drink in peace.”

Well, I guess I’ll let it slide. I’m not so childish as to complain about every single thing.

“So Souya, we have before us what is called ramen, correct?”

“Yes, this is ramen.”

White noodles floated in the semitransparent amber broth filling our bowls. Bacon, a sunny-side-up egg, and sautéed mushrooms garnished every one. This, beyond a shadow of a doubt, was udon.

As Éa had put it, “Nobody here actually knows what ramen’s like, right? They’ll never find out if we give ’em udon and just call it ramen.”

She had a perfectly good point, but I still felt uneasy trying to put one over on a goddess. Lady Gladwein raised her goblet.

“Hark, one and all. This ramen gave our king renewed strength and saved him from the clutches of disease. Partake of this meal, replenish your spirits, and let it fuel your training tomorrow. Now eat.”

At her signal, every single disciple dug into their ramen (udon) at once.

“““……”””

No one said a word. They silently brought forkfuls of the udon to their mouths. I almost crapped my pants with fear. Nervously, I took a taste of Éa’s custom creation. She’d made everything herself, from the soup to the noodles. Her dexterity and deftness had floored me.

“Mmm! It’s so good!”

The fish broth base had only light soy sauce seasoning, but the fat and sodium from the bacon melted in and gave it just the right amount of saltiness. I had no complaints about the noodles; they had a nice chewy texture to them. You could easily sell these. My younger sister here had a knack for cooking. As for my younger sister back in the modern day—well, I won’t go into that.

I punctured the egg yolk and twirled some of it up with my udon. “Ohhh.”

A slice of butter hidden underneath was merging with the yolk, elevating the flavoring to something reminiscent of carbonara. What a blending of Eastern and Western traditions—a true matrimonio.

I devoured the thick bacon, inhaled all the noodles, drained the broth. I saved the mushrooms thoroughly steeped in all the soup’s savors for last, chewing each one mindfully. And just like that, I’d completely cleaned my bowl.

Wait, is my sister a prodigy in the kitchen?

“Mr. Souya, these noodles appear very similar to the English variety of—” I cut Machina and her insensitive commentary off at the speed of sound.

“Bring meow your bowls if you’d like more,” Tutu called out.

With a great scramble of chairs, almost all Gladwein’s disciples stood from the table. Their empty bowls in hand, they formed an orderly line before Tutu, who dished out additional servings. They glanced over at me, somehow frustrated. Their reaction to me aside, it seemed the meal was a hit. More and more people joined the line for seconds.

“Mmm, sunny-side-up eggs and pork make everything sooo much better. ♪” Éa seemed supremely satisfied with her own handiwork. Enjoying the taste of your own meals and finding pleasure in them is a sign of real progress.

“But it needs a dash more spice,” she said, then fished a bottle of deep, deep-red spices out of her glove.

“Koff!” The smell alone had Bel choking. “Huh? Éa, what the heck is that?”

“I’ve gotten really into making my own spice mixes recently. This is one of my newest creations. It’s got some demon pinkies, medicinal shoots you can forage in the Heuress Forest, roots of a tree spirit, nuts, mushrooms, and a bunch of other stuff. It’s super good.” Éa’s udon turned bright crimson. “Mm-mm-mm. ♪ This kick is the best!”

Sensing danger from the smell and color the spice had produced in the soup, Bel turned ghastly pale. I still believed Éa was a chef par excellence, but she was also a genius when it came to messing it all up with ungodly finishing touches. Fortunately, she’d only experimented on herself so far, so she hadn’t claimed any casualties—yet.

She and Lana are really similar in the strangest ways. I guess you can’t fight the DNA running through your veins. Speaking of blood—

“Oh-ho, this is quite the delicacy. I had no inkling Éa had such skill,” Lady Gladwein remarked, visibly impressed.

“Oh no, my husband taught her all she knows about cooking. Although I do admit she has a natural talent for it,” Lana replied, bragging about me. Her profile and Lady Gladwein’s had a strong, undeniable resemblance.

One of Lana and Éa’s ancestors, Heuress, could manipulate fog and had gained great renown as a master archer. A true hero, he’d slain the giant spider that had terrorized the entire Right Continent.

However, this story left out a crucial piece of the truth. Heuress could not claim all the credit for vanquishing the great spider. He’d relied on the skills of Lümidia of the Hidden Name, a rare breed of archer, to shoot the beast down. According to Machina’s research, her name did appear in a single compilation of adventurers’ tales from the Left Continent.

Lümidia was born to the revered Welswein military family and soon became its favorite child. From a young age, she made her own name through courageous acts, showing the world glimpses of sincere heroism. She set off on a journey and wandered away from the Left Continent, leaving anecdotes of her greatness everywhere she visited before arriving in the Right Continent. However, as soon as she set foot on this land, she disappeared from all historical accounts.

Even though no record of her remains, I knew the truth. She’d fallen in love with an elf and had borne a child. Her offspring had gone on to rule over the elves as Heuress’s legitimate heir, and the ensuing bloodline had continued until the present day. I also once saw Lady Gladwein’s name written next to an account of the heroic archer’s life. Lümidia, it turns out, was Lady Gladwein’s daughter. In other words—she was a heim.

Elves prided themselves on the purity of their pedigrees. If anyone ever discovered heim blood ran through the veins of the Heuress Clan, they would lose all political sway, and a civil war would break out to fill the vacant throne. I would take this secret to my grave.

Lady Gladwein most likely knew this truth as well. It had, in all likelihood, motivated her to leave the Left Continent, after which she’d earned her place among the Legion Gods as a hero and settled down in distant Remlia. The two of them eating side by side could have been mother and child. It felt lonely watching them so far off in their own world, one that was closed off to me.

“By the by, Souya. I’ve been waiting for a good moment to ask.”

“Huh?”

Lord Baafre addressed me in a somewhat serious tone, his words nearly lost in the clamor at the table. It would’ve come across as much more suave if he hadn’t been licking his empty bowl while he spoke. “That bow, is it giving you any trouble?”

“No, not really. It’s amazing. I’d have died ten times over by now without it.”

For just a split second, a sharp glint flashed in his eyes. “Then have you felt any abnormal changes in your body?”

“Abnormal changes?”

“That weapon is bewitched. One could not conceivably come away unscathed after drawing it as easily as you. It bears a curse fueled by the Endguards’ wounded pride, seething enmity toward vampires, madness of the dark side of the moon—and festering obsession. The human psyche would break under the weight of any of those dark emotions.”

I got what he meant, but I felt perfectly healthy. “Sorry, but seriously, I’m totally fine.”

“I see. Perhaps you have your goddess to thank for protecting you.”

“Lady Mythlanica?”

“Mythlanica—I’m sure I’ve heard that name before, but I cannot recall it. Perhaps a certain kind of hex is at work there.”

What? No way—Lady Mythlanica, protecting me? That lazy goddess who’s done nothing more than take on the role of beloved pet? The one who sleeps an average of sixteen hours per day? Whose entire existence revolves around eating, sleeping, and loafing?

“In any case, if you’re hale and hearty, then all is well. However, the moment you think the bow may have affected you in any way, come straight to me. After all, you’re one of the Endguard. You must always strive to keep your vessel fit. Recently, a disturbing shadow has been stirring in the North. Those Lillidean dogs have set out against it, though I doubt they’ll be any help. If anything, they’re only sending that darkness easy nourishment. Our call to arms may not be long now. Do not forget to sharpen your skills daily.”

“……Huh?” What the hell did he just say? “Lord Baafre, who, what now?”

“You and I, the final Endguards. A sorry lot we are, too. Not much to look at.”

“How does that work?” Who’d decided that, and when? Was it that time I blacked out?

“Come now, you can wield a lycan weapon, therefore you’re an Endguard. That’s about all that’s left of us now. Be my company.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Too bad, I won’t accept that. I’ll drag you with me if I have to.”

Nooooooo! How do all these problems that have nothing to do with adventuring keep popping up around me? I can already tell I’m gonna get roped into this mess later. Should I just throw the bow away and cut my losses? No, can’t do that. Even with it I’m no match against any but the weakest of monsters. If I switched over to a normal one, I’d be no more help than a lump of coal in our sacks. I was stoked to get this unbelievable bow for eight gold pieces, but I never knew it would come with all these downsides.

“Lord Baafre, out of curiosity, what is it you’re planning to do in the North?”

“Hmm, exterminate vampires, I suppose? We’re still awaiting the return of Remlia’s reconnaissance team. Fear not, we shan’t depart in the next day or two. Nothing so sudden.”

“You do realize I’m just a normal, unremarkable adventurer, right? Please stop trying to drag me into something so incredibly important.”

“If you truly are what you say, then all the more reason for you to venture into forbidden territories, encounter undiscovered foes, and seek your glory. Makes your heart soar, doesn’t it?”

“No, not in the least.” Why should I have to risk my life like that? It’s idiotic.

“Are you quite sure you’re an adventurer?” he asked, hitting me right where it hurt.

In all honestly, giving me glory was like feeding pearls to a pig. I’d hock it all to anyone who wanted it. I’d come here to reach the fifty-sixth floor of the dungeon and acquire the resources there—that was all.

Or at least, that was all it was supposed to be, but now, I felt the tiniest pull to try something else—