The Son of a Marquis Struggles

I placed my hand on the windowpane and gazed through it.

A single carriage was traveling away beneath the sky dyed orange by the sun in the west. My fingers pressed harder against the window as if to chase the carriage while it gradually shrank into the distance. My body heat warmed the cool glass, causing the scenery beyond to become hazy as the window fogged up. Even after the carriage eventually vanished from sight, hidden behind buildings, I remained standing by the window longingly.

“Was that the right choice, George?”

I jumped when I heard my name called. My reaction was less the result of being surprised at the sudden voice, and more the result of distress—there had been unwanted witnesses to my pining.

I’d been acting pathetic. Pushing her away one minute and then longingly watching her carriage leave. I didn’t want anybody to see me behaving in such an unmanly fashion.

“Was what the right choice?” I responded curtly.

I released my hands from the windowpane slowly, to obscure my distress. My aim had been to appear unaffected, but the mist on the glass outlining the shape of my palm refused to disappear. It was a cruel demonstration of my wretchedness.

I turned around to confront the man who was talking to me and pointed an exceptionally sharp glare at him.

However, my uncle Julius seemed unperturbed and continued to speak. “About Lady Mary, of course.”

I frowned. He’d gone straight to the topic that I was hoping to avoid. After being momentarily at a loss for words, I scowled and deflected the question. “I don’t know what you’re referring to.”

My uncle still didn’t break his composed expression. “Oh dear. Is my nephew so slow-witted that I have to break this incredibly simple idea down and explain it in minute detail?” He grinned sweetly and tilted his head to one side. “Or does he just want me to indulge his desire not to speak about it? Perhaps it’s too embarrassing for him?” Julius spewed his insults while smiling like a young noble lord.

I fell silent.

My uncle had the appearance of a kind man, but his personality was more complex than that. He’d decisively rejected my response, refusing to let me have my way.

“I merely updated her on the progress of the investigation,” I said reluctantly. However, as I should have expected, it’d take more than that bland answer to satisfy my uncle.

“That doesn’t make sense. Why would Lady Mary appear so upset over a mere progress report?”

“That’s, uh...”

“And you see, I could’ve sworn by the look on Lady Mary’s face that one proud fool or another had taken over and apparently made all the decisions without stopping to ask her opinion.”

“You speak as though you witnessed it,” I replied, barely refraining from grimacing. Although I was cursing him in my mind, on the outside, I plastered on a smile.

My uncle softly returned my smile, and it was different from the contemptible grin that he’d been wearing a moment before. Seeing that, I found myself at a loss for words.

“I wouldn’t peek,” he said. “I have better manners than that. But I don’t need to have witnessed the scene to know the sorts of things you’d say.”

My gaze started to fall to the floor. I felt ravaged by guilt, as though I’d been discovered while trying to cover up a blunder. When I raised my head to shake off that feeling, I said, “I told her that I’d like her to refrain from involving herself with the on-site investigation.”

I didn’t doubt my decision; we couldn’t take Lady Mary with us to a place potentially rife with unknown dangers. We would take action, and she would wait for our report in the safety of her palace. That was how it ought to be.

Or at least, I’d thought so. But I couldn’t erase the image of Lady Mary’s shocked face that had seared itself into my mind. After I’d told her to leave the investigation to us, her face had distorted with sadness.

Why doesn’t anything ever go right? I didn’t want to upset her.

“I see,” my uncle grumbled in a low tone of voice.

My cheeks lit up red. He wasn’t even criticizing me, but I felt terribly embarrassed all the same. That might have been the guilt.

“It should be indisputable that we can’t have Her Highness accompany us into danger,” I blurted out as if making excuses.

“I didn’t say that your view was wrong.”

“But you’re not saying that it’s right either, are you?” I immediately spat these words back. My uncle just looked at me with exasperation.

“You’re a dog with a bone today,” he said. “Although, you’re right. I see things slightly differently from you.”

“Meaning what?” I sent him a piercing glare, but he shrugged it off and continued.

“Exactly what it sounds like. In the first place, I think that you’re jumping to conclusions by assuming that Flanmer is dangerous.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, “but the current sovereign of Flanmer is a queen. Interregnums are notoriously unstable. It’s safe to assume that Flanmer is dangerous.”

“It’s stable at present.”

“That may be so, but anything could happen in the future.”

My uncle sighed. “By that reasoning, Lady Mary would be forbidden from going anywhere. Nowhere in this world is entirely free from danger. Anything could happen at any time, anywhere, and nobody can predict it. Can you swear to me that bandits won’t storm this mansion right now, while we’re here talking? You can’t even guarantee that a meteor won’t plummet from the sky and crush us to death.”

“Enough sophistry,” I said.

“That’s right, it’s sophistry,” he continued calmly, not raising his voice. “But in broad terms, your argument is no different. There’s caution, and then there’s paranoia. You might think that you’re protecting her, but that’s egotistical of you. You’re merely caging your precious Lady Mary to achieve your own peace of mind.”

“That’s not what I’m after!” I bit back instinctively. “Her Highness is far more important than we are. Even the slightest risk of danger is grounds to leave without her. Besides, as long as we ultimately procure the medicine without her having to lift a finger, nothing more is needed. The means aren’t important—results are.”

“George,” my uncle said disapprovingly.

“I’ll leave the discussion here. If you have nothing else to say, then I’ll take my leave.” I finished speaking, putting the conversation to rest, and then sped past my uncle. I didn’t want any more cracks in the determination of my heart.

“Is the first woman that you fell in love with truly the sort to be content with peace in confinement?” he asked as I walked away.

I closed the door behind me without answering, then marched in retreat down the corridor. All the while, my uncle’s words resounded in my mind.