Everyone gets old.

I’m no exception.

Back in the day, I could outrun the Martial Alliance for seven days and nights without breaking a sweat. Now? Not so much. It feels like I’ve aged ten years just from being chased.

Had I known this would happen, I would have trained harder.

Humans always repeat the same mistakes and regret things when it’s too late.

I hadn’t planned an escape route, so at some point, I realized I had taken the wrong path. The curses of my pursuers grew clearer behind me.

And what a colorful variety they had.

I was called a bastard, a son of a whore, a lowborn dog, and, of course, an orphan. That last one was actually true, but it didn’t stop them from adding insults about my parents.

Imagine cursing the parents of an orphan. This world truly is insane.

Plenty of people who ran their mouths like that ended up dead by my hands, but this time, there were too many of them. Running was the smarter choice.

A man of my caliber, fleeing like this…

Utterly shameful.

But remember this—

The Demonic Cult is terrifying.

Even after killing dozens during my escape, there were still plenty of skilled fighters left to chase me.

* * *

Once, in my foolish youth, my dream was to become the God of War.

Why am I remembering my old ambitions now, in the middle of running for my life?

I have no idea.

People always called me crazy whenever I spoke of that dream, so I suppose it was truly an absurd one.

But let me tell you this—if a goal is easy to achieve, it’s not a real dream.

A dream should be so difficult that it seems impossible.

And here I am, proving that philosophy.

Because I aimed high, I’m not being chased by some petty third-rate gang—I’m being hunted by the worst of the worst, the Demonic Cult.

Let me make one thing clear—if you call yourself a real man, you have to be hunted by the Demonic Cult at least once in your life.

That’s the true test of manhood.

And damn, what a thrill.

These bastards are truly terrifying, which only makes this chase more exhilarating than any before.

I may have failed to become the God of War, but I’ve at least accomplished something most men never will—I’ve been chased by the Martial Alliance in the past, and now I’m being pursued by the Demonic Cult.

That’s an achievement in itself.

And judging by how desperately they’re coming after me, what I stole from them isn’t just some ordinary item.

If it was, why would these lunatics be chasing me like rabid dogs?

I always knew messing with the Demonic Cult was fun. I just never had the strength to try it before.

But looking back now, I should have trained a little more before pulling this off.

Like I said—humans always repeat the same mistakes.

Damn it…

* * *

I’ve always considered myself a master of psychological warfare, deception, tactics, strategy, manipulation, and lying. I also prided myself on being immune to seduction, a champion drinker, and an expert in movement techniques.

The most versatile, most insane man in Jianghu—that’s me.

And the one who’s hidden his skills the best? Also me.

Women’s seduction tactics have never worked on me. Not because I’m special, but simply because no sane woman has ever liked me.

This is something I’ve confirmed through years of experience.

As I ran, my vision blurred—a sign that I was nearing a foggy area.

Where the hell am I? Judging by the terrain, the cliff up ahead looks like the infamous Thousand-Fathom Abyss.

A truly famous battleground.

Long ago, the Demonic Path and the White Path waged a war here.

If the White Path had won that day, I wouldn’t be running for my life right now.

In the end, both sides declared a truce and destroyed Sword Chime Bridge, the only crossing over the abyss.

And now, thanks to that, I have no way across.

They say, “There is no paradise at the end of an escape”.

In my case, there is only a cliff.

This translation is the intellectual property of Novelight.

After fleeing from the Demonic Cult’s main stronghold, I crossed several mountains, rivers, and godforsaken lands, suffering wounds along the way—my left arm was slashed, my face was stabbed, and my left shoulder was pierced clean through.

As I looked down at the abyss below, I saw nothing.

Just like my past life.

Even in this moment, I found myself thinking about something ridiculous.

Why the hell have I never had a single proper romance?

They say when death is near, people remember the ones they love the most.

I had no one to remember.

A sigh escaped me.

“…Should’ve at least had a short romance before dying.”

I took life too seriously.

If someone writes my epitaph, I hope it says—

“Here lies the Crazy Demon. Died from being too serious.”

A gust of wind carried the sound of approaching footsteps.

If they’re this fast, then it must be him.

Left Guardian of the Demonic Cult.

A high-ranking enforcer of the Demonic Cult, notorious throughout Jianghu.

A man who sent his subordinates to die chasing me, only to show up now when I’m exhausted. A true master of dirty tactics.

His reputation is as bad as mine, if not worse.

Before joining the Demonic Cult, he was infamous for targeting the noble daughters of prestigious martial clans—a pervert known as the Lust Demon.

Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m a pervert too.

I simply never had the chance.

Was it just my imagination, or was my rage boiling up from deep within?

Was it because of him?

Or because of the atrocities he’s committed?

Either way, I found myself facing one of the most feared men in Jianghu—

Left Guardian of the Demonic Cult.

Of course, he landed with perfect grace.

Figures. To be a pervert, you have to be good-looking first.

"That smug, gigolo-looking bastard."

With his sharp nose and arrogant posture, he truly looked like a high-ranking member of a cult.

God, religion is terrifying.

***

The Left Guardian approached with his hands behind his back, his voice heavy with authority.

"You've put me through quite the ordeal, you bastard. Still, I’ll admit—your movement techniques are even more impressive than the rumors say."

His dramatic nonsense left me unimpressed.

"So, the pervert has arrived."

"……"

"I’ve never seen a pervert run so diligently before. Quite the sight to behold."

The Left Guardian, who had been chasing me for three days and nights, finally snapped. His voice was laced with frustration.

"Shut up, you lunatic. This is no time for jokes. You’re standing at the edge of the abyss—do you even grasp your situation?"

"Abyss or paradise, it doesn't change the fact that you're a pervert. Also, teach your subordinates some manners. I’m not a dog. I’m certainly not a bastard. But an orphan? That one's actually true."

For a moment, silence hung in the air.

"……"

"Cursing the parents of a man who never met them… You bastards truly deserve to die. No wonder people call you the Demonic Cult."

"Enough with the nonsense. Hand over what you stole."

I scoffed.

"If I just handed it over after all this trouble, I wouldn’t be the Crazy Demon. I’d be some pitiful servant."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I used to be ⊛ Nоvеlιght ⊛ (Read the full story) a servant, so I know what I’m saying."

The Left Guardian let out a long, weary sigh.

Meanwhile, more and more members of the Demonic Cult arrived, gathering like storm clouds before a downpour.

Why do they all insist on wearing black?

The cultists surrounded me, blocking every possible escape route. Their eyes were sharp, brimming with hostility.

Well, that made sense.

I had already killed over a hundred of them during the chase.

Given how much damage I’d inflicted on the cult, shouldn’t the Martial Alliance be offering me an award by now?

Then again, I was already a wanted criminal to them, too.

In fact, my name was ranked even higher on the wanted list than this perverted bastard in front of me.

The title "Crazy Demon" had actually been given to me by the so-called righteous sects.

‘So much for that award.’

The Left Guardian studied my smirking face and finally spoke.

"Crazy Demon, how the hell are you smiling in a situation like this? What’s going on inside that head of yours?"

"How unfortunate."

"What is?"

"You must have forced yourself not to laugh when your Master farted. That’s your limit."

"……"

"You probably even forced yourself to laugh whenever he cracked some unfunny joke, huh?"

"I never did that."

"Shut up! That’s what we call the flattery of a fool. But I? I always laugh when I damn well please. You sycophant, are you truly that afraid of your Master?"

The Left Guardian’s expression twisted in distaste.

"Tell me—do you know anyone in Jianghu who isn’t afraid of our Master?"

"Me."

"Then why the hell did you run all the way here?"

"It’s not the Master I fear—it’s the pervert standing in front of me. If anything, for the sake of your own mental health, you should leave the cult and fully commit yourself to your perverted hobbies. Oh? Left Guardian, I think one of your officers is laughing behind you."

I pointed at a cultist in the back, but the Left Guardian didn’t even flinch. His eyes stayed locked onto mine.

"You think that’ll work on me?"

I nodded.

"Can’t be helped, then. This is what you all have been chasing, isn’t it?"

I reached into my robes and carefully pulled out the Heavenly Pearl.

This was the stolen treasure.

The Left Guardian’s eyes widened like a starving wildcat spotting its prey.

"……!"

I smirked.

"Judging by that reaction, you wanted this for yourself, didn’t you? No wonder you personally came all this way instead of sending someone else. We're quite far from your headquarters, after all… This is perfect. Let’s split it between us. You and I can rule Jianghu together. That way, you can indulge in your perversions without restraint."

I coaxed him with a grin.

But his response was flat.

"It belongs to our Master."

"Then why are you looking at it like a starving dog? Listen up, cultists! Your Left Guardian is having second thoughts about loyalty. Someone should hurry back and report to your Master that he’s planning a rebellion. Who wants the credit?"

Sowing discord was always fun.

But the Demonic Cult was harder to manipulate than most.

Still, I was persistent.

"Look at him. He’s struggling to respond. He’s considering it, isn’t he?"

The Left Guardian finally spoke, his voice cold.

"Enough talk. Hand over the Heavenly Pearl, and we’ll withdraw. We never intended to take your worthless life in the first place."

"Oh? That so?"

"I’m telling you, the Heavenly Pearl is far more valuable than your life. We’ll deal with your crimes later—one-on-one, the way you like it."

I laughed.

"One-on-one? You say that after setting up a massive manhunt? If you wanted a fair fight, you wouldn’t have lost a hundred men trying to take me down. You really are a dumbass pervert. I’d sooner shave my head and become a monk than believe a word you say. Step aside. This thing is perfectly round, and when struck, it makes a chime-like sound. It would make an excellent wooden fish for chanting prayers. I can’t just give that away so easily."

"Then you leave me no choice. Kill him!"

"Come at me, you bastards! I suppose today, I become a Mad Monk!"

But even as I yelled, I pretended to toss the Heavenly Pearl into the abyss.

The Left Guardian’s hand shot forward in panic.

"Wait! Stop!"

For the first time, his mask of composure cracked.

A satisfying sight.

That confirmed it—

What I stole was no ordinary treasure.

I still had no idea what it actually was…

But if I threw it off this cliff, the Left Guardian and his men would have no choice but to jump after it.

The Left Guardian hesitated, then quickly shifted gears.

"Why are you doing this? We tolerated your antics because keeping you alive would torment the Martial Alliance. We even considered offering you a position. But then you went and stole a sacred artifact? That’s not something we can overlook."

"Perhaps. But you insulted my parents, so I can’t return it."

"I apologize. It’s not you we fear—it’s our Master’s wrath. Just let us retrieve the relic."

"That’s your way of begging?"

"That’s your way of bargaining?"

I moved my arm toward the abyss again.

"Then I’ll throw it. Let’s settle this the hard way."

"Wait! Let’s talk!"

I nodded.

"Fine. Then tell me—what exactly is this Heavenly Pearl?"

Come on, you bastard.

I’m dying to know.