Chapter 20

Fu Tingjun took the medicine bowl and said, "I'm not hungry. You eat it!"

"Ah!" A Sen stared at Fu Tingjun with wide eyes.

"You eat it!" Fu Tingjun drank the medicine.

A Sen looked toward Zhao Jiuye.

Zhao Jiuye glanced at Fu Tingjun, who was sitting at the end of the kang with a stern face, and gave a slight nod.

"Really!" A Sen was overjoyed.

Zhao Jiuye couldn't help but smile at the corner of his mouth as he watched, and nodded again.

A Sen's big eyes curved like crescent moons with a smile. He held the egg in his hand and looked at it again and again before gently peeling the shell.

"So pretty!" He examined the white, tender, and smooth egg under the lamplight for a long while before taking a delicate bite. "So delicious!" He squinted his eyes with a blissful expression.

Fu Tingjun was deeply shocked.

It was just an egg, yet A Sen savored it as if it were dragon liver and phoenix marrow.

She found it hard to connect the A Sen before her with the one who had mercilessly raised a stick to beat the dogs just moments ago!

Under the lamplight, A Sen's brow still carried a trace of childish innocence.

Suddenly, Fu Tingjun felt very angry.

Regardless, A Sen was just a child. What did he know? He simply did as he was taught! If there was any fault, it lay with Zhao Jiuye, the one who had raised and taught him.

With that thought, she wanted even less to do with Zhao Jiuye.

Once they reached Weinan, she would have her uncle give him some silver and send him on his way!

However, it would be best to persuade A Sen to stay by her side, so he wouldn't follow Zhao Jiuye and learn to have a heart of stone...

...

The three of them—Zhao Jiuye sitting at the head of the kang, Fu Tingjun at the foot, and A Sen squatting beside it—each had half a bowl of water and one steamed bun for their evening meal.

"You should rest early," Zhao Jiuye said as he stood up after finishing his meal. "We'll set out at the yin hour tomorrow."

The yin hour—the sky wouldn't even be light yet!

Fu Tingjun hadn't finished eating and couldn't help asking, "So early?"

"The midday sun is too harsh; you won't be able to bear it," Zhao Jiuye said. "We can only travel in the morning and late afternoon."

Again, it was because of her...

Fu Tingjun felt a bit unsettled and gave an "Oh" in response.

A Sen had already taken a worn straw mat from the small cart. "Miss, I'll sleep in the courtyard. If you need anything, just call for me!"

Fu Tingjun smiled and said "Alright" to him.

A Sen happily followed behind Zhao Jiuye and left.

The steamed bun was very dry. After Zhao Jiuye and A Sen left, she forced herself to take a few bites but could no longer swallow any more. She did, however, finish all the water.

Fu Tingjun placed the steamed bun in the empty bowl, climbed onto the cool bamboo mat A Sen had laid out, took down the flint from the window lattice, blew out the lamp, and lay down fully clothed.

The porcelain pillow carried a slight coolness that made her press her cheek against it.

In the silent night, sounds were amplified without limit.

Fu Tingjun could clearly hear A Sen spreading his straw mat and moving about.

"Where are you going?" Zhao Jiuye asked him.

"Master!" His voice carried a hint of ingratiation. "I'm going to skin those dogs and make dried meat. Then I can make soup for the young lady. Didn't the doctor say she has deficiency of both qi and blood? Brother Yuanbao said dog meat is highly nourishing. If the young lady drinks the meat soup, maybe she'll recover soon!"

"Nonsense!" Zhao Jiuye scolded A Sen in a low voice, and then his voice gradually became inaudible.

That man—what was he directing A Sen to do now?

Such a good child, and he was being corrupted by him!

Fu Tingjun felt anger rising in her heart. She quietly got up and pressed her ear against the half-closed window lattice.

"...How could wild dogs suddenly appear? They must have survived by feeding on the corpses of those who starved to death... Otherwise, they wouldn't have lunged at us on sight... Be careful of corpse poison... Never mind eating them—you can't even touch them..."

Dogs eating people!

Corpses of the starved!

She had been in the presence of such things!

Just thinking about it made her feel nauseated... Her stomach churned like waves overturning the sea, and with a "wah," she vomited everything she had just eaten!

"What's wrong?" Zhao Jiuye knocked on the window lattice, his voice somewhat urgent. "I'll have A Sen come in!"

Fu Tingjun leaned against the edge of the kang, unable to speak.

A Sen peeked in from the doorway. "Miss!" Seeing that her clothes were in order, he pushed the door open and ran over. "What happened? Why did you suddenly vomit?"

Upon hearing this, Zhao Jiuye quickly called to A Sen, "Feel the young lady's forehead—is it hot?"

A Sen reached out to touch Fu Tingjun's forehead. "Hot!"

"How hot?" Zhao Jiuye asked urgently.

"Hotter than my hand!" A Sen said. "But not as hot as my forehead!"

What kind of answer was that?

Zhao Jiuye felt somewhat helpless and said, "Miss Fu, I'm coming in then!"

"No need!" Fu Tingjun had caught her breath. "I just feel a bit uncomfortable in my chest." Having been unconscious for over ten days, then rushing to travel as soon as she woke, and now vomiting—her voice was inevitably a little weak.

Zhao Jiuye remained silent for a long moment before speaking in a low voice, "This is the time when seasonal epidemics are most likely to strike. You'd better be careful!"

By this time, A Sen had already helped Miss Fu onto the kang. Hearing this, he quickly chimed in, "Yes, miss. There are several dead bodies lying in the straw hut at the entrance of the village, all covered in maggots..."

No wonder they had smelled a foul stench upon entering the village—it was the stench of corpses.

The thought that she had been smelling the odor of death made Miss Fu's stomach churn again. She leaned over the edge of the kang and vomited.

Zhao Jiuye seemed to understand what had happened. He didn't ask again whether she had a fever, but simply instructed A Sen, "Pour the young lady some water, clean up the room, and bring out an egg."

A Sen moved swiftly, following Zhao Jiuye's orders—pouring water, tidying the room, and fetching an egg.

Miss Fu drank the water, then stared blankly at the egg in her hand.

"Miss, please eat it!" A Sen urged from the side. "Ninth Master went through great trouble to find five eggs—they're really nourishing." He looked at her with eager eyes, even licking his lips as if savoring the memory of the egg's taste.

Miss Fu felt a pang of unease in her chest, her throat tightening as if something were stuck there, a heaviness settling over her heart.

"Alright," Zhao Jiuye called from outside, "let Miss Fu rest early! It's getting late."

"Hurry and eat!" A Sen urged her with a grin, then turned and ran out.

She blew out the fire starter and lay in the darkness.

The palm-leaf fan was heavy; after just two waves, her wrist ached. The sweat from the journey had never been washed away, leaving her skin sticky and clammy—dirty and foul-smelling... One moment Miss Fu thought of Zhao Jiuye's sweat-soaked brow as he hurried along the road, the next of his indifferent expression when he handed her the water skin, then of his cool voice when he told A Sen to drive off the dogs, and then of the egg resting in his broad palm... Thoughts tumbled over one another in a jumble, like mixed flavors blending together, impossible to distinguish.

She tossed and turned, unable to find rest, yet the faint fragrance of the cool bamboo mat lingered around her nose.

...

It seemed she had barely closed her eyes when A Sen's voice came: "Miss Fu, Miss Fu, are you awake? We need to set off."

Miss Fu mumbled a groggy reply.

From the courtyard came Zhao Jiuye's voice: "Just call her 'miss'—why 'Miss Fu'? Don't call her that from now on."

"I know, I know!" A Sen's reply carried a hint of slyness. "Brother Yucheng said we mustn't tell anyone about the young lady's affairs. I remember!"

Miss Fu sat in a daze for a long while, then slowly gathered her bundle and left the side room.

The sky was still dark; the fire starter cast a rosy glow across Zhao Jiuye's and A Sen's faces.

"Miss!" A Sen greeted her cheerfully, then went inside to gather his things.

Zhao Jiuye merely gave her a slight nod.

Again, half a bowl of water and one steamed bun each. After eating, the three of them took to the road in the darkness.

When they passed the village entrance, Miss Fu covered her nose and circled around to Zhao Jiuye's right side.

He glanced at her but said nothing, only quickening his pace.

Having slept poorly the night before and risen early to travel, Miss Fu was listless, but A Sen was full of energy. Holding a branch he'd picked up from somewhere, he hopped and skipped ahead, now nudging pebbles on the ground, now poking at withered trees by the roadside—utterly lively.

Watching him, Miss Fu felt a pang of unease.

When they stopped to rest midway and Zhao Jiuye had disappeared somewhere again, she chatted with A Sen: "How old were you when Ninth Master found you?"

"I don't know!" A Sen said carelessly. "The master said I looked about four or five, so he counted me as five and made the day he found me my birthday." There was no trace of sadness in his voice.

Miss Fu felt even more wistful. "Do you remember your family?"

"No!" A Sen handed her the water skin. "The master said everyone in the village died, only I still had breath left. Brother Yuanbao said I'm lucky to be alive, so I'm bound to have good fortune later." With that, he smiled at Miss Fu, looking rather pleased with himself.

Miss Fu was startled. "The whole village died?"

"Mm!" He nodded. "The master found me in Liangzhou, where Tartars often roam. Brother Yucheng said the village was most likely slaughtered by them." At this, he grew a bit subdued.

Miss Fu couldn't bear to see him like that and quickly said, "It's already wonderful that you survived!"

A Sen nodded repeatedly with a grin. "Right! So I need to live well and enjoy good fortune later!"

Miss Fu smiled too and reached out to pat his head.

He tilted his head away, and her hand fell on empty air. "The master said: a man's head and a woman's waist—look but don't touch."

Miss Fu burst out laughing, her voice scattering through the air like silver bells.

"Miss, your voice is so pretty!" A Sen praised sincerely.

Such directness was something Miss Fu had never heard before. She blushed slightly and murmured a quiet "thank you."

Zhao Jiuye returned, hearing the sound of laughter from afar. His gaze swept between the two of them.

A Sen hurried over to him. "Master, which way are we going?" His face was full of eager fawning, like a little dog wagging its tail at its owner.

Miss Fu found it amusing and turned her face away.

Zhao Jiuye was somewhat puzzled. He had only stepped away for a moment, yet how had Fu Tingjun, who had been looking so listless all along, become so chummy with A Sen, laughing and chatting so intimately? And the moment she saw him arrive, she stopped the conversation, as if he were some outsider!

A flicker of confusion passed through his eyes.

"We're heading southwest," Zhao Jiuye said flatly. "Going around Huayin!"

So they were already nearing Huayin?

Fu Tingjun's smile gradually faded.

She stood on her tiptoes and looked in the direction from which Zhao Jiuye had come.

There was nothing but endless stretches of loess earth and scattered withered trees standing alone in the fields.

An inexplicable sorrow welled up from the depths of her heart.

Was she really going to Weinan?

From now on, would she forget the young girl chasing butterflies on spring days, forget her mother's warm embrace, her grandmother's silver-white hair, her sisters' cheerful laughter, forget the peonies by the pavilion, the ginkgo tree behind the house, the plantain lilies blooming in the courtyard...

Who would she be?

And who would she become?

In the vast sea of humanity, Huayin would from now on become nothing more than a memory to be gazed at from afar and a place on a map!

Was this choice right? Or was it wrong?