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“This is no time for fighting. At times like this, we need to band together to protect the village.”
The ingenuous speech of the chief’s son could have been taken as immature, but at his words, the villagers gradually began to calm down.
“For now, as my father says, I think we should watch them. The child and the woman may simply be captives—and we may get a chance to figure out what their weakness is. Let’s pretend to listen to their orders for the moment and make them careless.”
At the boy’s suggestion, the villagers exchanged glances.
Before long, somebody mumbled, “Well…we could.” The murmur spread, and it was decided that the status quo should be maintained.
“Father, you’re all right with that, too, aren’t you?”
“Do whatever you want.”
Maybe he was irritated that his son had upstaged him. Dez stood, looking disgruntled.
One of the villagers spoke to his back with visible unease.
“But, Headman, the real problem is going to come when they ask for more sacrifices than they already have.”
“I know that. We’ve only got one left. When the sacrifices are gone, we’ll have to actually give him a village girl…”
As I make my way back to the shed where I sleep, a bellow echoes from the village meeting hall. It’s Master Dez.
Have I made another mistake without being aware of it?
My heart feels heavy. Even so, I have to check.
The floor of the meeting hall is raised off the ground. As I climb the low stairway, I sense many people inside. They are probably discussing Master Elmer. In that case, perhaps the yell didn’t have anything to do with me after all.
Just as I reach the door to the building, it flies open toward me.
Impact.
The door crashes into me and knocks me to the floor.
There is an intense tingling in my nose. When I touch it, lots of blood is coming out.
“Dammit, this door’s hung real bad. Hunh?”
Above me, I hear Master Dez’s voice. Then sharp pain runs through me, again and again.
“Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!”
Master Dez is glaring right at me and opening the door into me, over and over.
I twist to get away from the pain and somehow escape the direct hits from the door.
However, as I start to stand, I lose my balance again—and this time I fall between the open door and the entrance. Then a shock runs through my legs, as if they are being crushed between.
“Argh, now the door won’t shut right!”
The ferocious pain strikes again and again. The pain the pain the pain the pain the pain the pain the pain the pain the pain the pain the pain the pain the pain hurts hurts hurts hurts hurts ow ow ow ow ow
I can no longer register my pain in words, and involuntarily, my body curls up into a little ball and stops moving.
The blows stop, and Master Dez’s irritated voice sounds above me.
“Look at that. You got blood all over the entry, you complete dunce! Wash all that off before night falls.”
Master Dez leaves, irritated. Behind him, several of the villagers step over me as they follow him.
“Disgusting…”
“Was she eavesdropping?”
“Lousy little…”
The villagers step over me as if they are avoiding a dead dog. They frown as though they are looking at something unclean, and they mutter contemptuous words.
This always happens. This is no different from normal… Then why is it that today, every little thing like this bothers me? Is it because of Master Elmer’s guests?
After the villagers have gone, I manage to get to my feet… And there is Master Feldt, right in front of me. He’s the only one still there.
“It doesn’t look as if you’re hurt that badly. Are you all right?”
Master Feldt gazes at me with pity. Then he goes away with one last comment.
“…Next time they demand a sacrifice, it’s your turn for sure. For the sake of the village, I want you to go… I’m sorry.”
Master Feldt doesn’t hit me or look down on me.
On the other hand, he doesn’t help me, either.
I know that. This is no different from before.
It is my place here, and that is all. There is no need to think about anything.
Nothing is different. There is no problem. Every day is just the same as it’s always been. This will go on every day, and that’s all.
Even so, oh, even so…
Why are all the people who come to the village from “outside” kind to me?
They don’t hit me. They don’t kick me. Even if I sleep in a bed, they don’t get mad.
I used to think, Maybe it’s only Master Elmer; maybe he’s special, and put up with everything, but…
I’ve learned.
I know about a possibility that a different world lies outside this village, outside this forest.
If that’s true, why do things like this have to happen to me?
Master Elmer once told me, “Some places are better than this, but some are dozens of times worse, too.” However, if there’s even the slightest possibility, I want to cling to it.
I want to leave this village. It wouldn’t matter where I went; if I could get by without being hit, if I could live without being hurt, if I could go without feeling lonely, then anywhere, anywhere—
But that’s a dream I mustn’t have.
A wish that will never come true.
For me, leaving here means dying.
If I already know it’s an impossible dream, I shouldn’t have it, shouldn’t have it, shouldn’t—
I’m sad. I very nearly resented Master Elmer, the person trying to teach me happiness, to teach me how to smile.
I remember. I remember vividly.
This emotion is hate.
I was about to hate Master Elmer, before I hated the villagers.
That’s sadder than anything.
I feel as though I’m a creature that shouldn’t be allowed to exist…
December 23 Night The old castle
Night had fallen over the area.
The air of the already-cold forest climate shivered in the freezing, transparent darkness.
The old castle stood deep in those woods. Most of its roof was flat, and it was possible to walk across it normally. However, in just one place—on top of the watchtower jutting out on the south side—it was conical and impossible to reach in the usual way.
One man was leaning back against the slope of that rooftop cone, gazing at the stars.
“Elmer.”
Hearing the call, the man quietly turned in the direction of the voice.
“Ah!”
His eyes landed on the upper half of a small boy. The edge of the roof hid the boy’s lower section as he struggled to crawl up onto the tower.
After a brief pause, Czes managed to pull himself up.
The boy huffed out a tired breath, and Elmer praised him quite candidly.
“Good job finding the handholds by the window. Did you come on your own?”
Without answering the question, Czes looked around and murmured, “This castle really is strange. On the whole, its design is closer to what you’d see in Luxembourg, but this conical roof is common in the castles of Denmark… It’s like they cobbled it together from an assortment of castles from different regions.”
“You know a lot about this. That’s a surprise… Actually, I hadn’t noticed any of that myself.”
“I took about half of it from Maiza.”
“Ha-ha! Should we add some traditional Japanese roof tiles and protective carp statues while we’re at it?”
Grinning at the joke, Czes carefully began to walk across the sloped roof.
Timing it to his initial move, Elmer leaped to his feet in an exaggerated motion. One false step and he would have toppled to the ground headfirst, but there was no anxiety in his face.
“Heh-heh-heh! You may think you’ve got me cornered, but think again! They call me Godfoot; can you beat me if I take to my heels?”
“Where would you run up here?” Czes pointed out calmly.
Elmer looked up for a little while and pondered.
“…Huh?”
He didn’t see any roofs around that he could leap to. Even if he went for the shortest drop to the roof, if he was unlucky, broken bones would be the least of his worries.
He might have been immortal, but pain hurt. Breaking out in a cold sweat, Elmer stayed where he was with some consternation.
“Well, you know, if you come over here, I’ll head over to the other side of the cone.”
“Are you planning to go around in circles forever?”
“Want to join me in an experiment to see how many circles we have to make before we turn into butter and overturn science on a fundamental level?”
“No, I do not.”
Czes gazed at him with mild disgust. Under the moonlight, Elmer cocked his head.
“I think the first person who hit on the idea of making tigers into butter was a genius, don’t you?”
“You don’t have to duck the issue like that. I didn’t come here to catch you. I just want to ask you about something.”
With that, Czes sat down right where he was, resting his small frame on the sloping roof.
“Ask me? I told you, unless you catch me, I won’t…”
“Not that. It’s something personal.”
“Hmm?” Czes’s attitude seemed to have caught Elmer’s attention, and he moved just a little closer to the boy.
“Still—you haven’t changed. You always did climb up to high places when it got dark. When we were on the ship, you scaled the mast every evening and watched the stars, didn’t you?”
“Ohhh, right, right, I see. That’s why you thought I’d be here, then? I didn’t think you’d find me on the first day, so I was startled.”
“Were you planning to hide for days on end…?”
Without answering, Elmer set a hand on the roof’s slope to stand straight up. From that position, he faced Czes and asked him a question in return.
“What sort of something?”
So he guessed it’s not easy to talk about.
Elmer was beaming. Registering his intentions, Czes sighed a bit uncomfortably.
Then, as if he’d made up his mind, he turned to Elmer and gave a superficial smile. However, just as he was about to begin speaking, Elmer talked over him, casually. He was laughing.
“Quit faking smiles. It doesn’t look good on you.”
“
!”
Instantly, Czes’s face went blank.
The next moment, an expression that looked slightly too mature covered the boy’s face. Czes glared up at the man in front of him, and the atmosphere around him was completely different from what it had been earlier.
“You’re as spiteful as ever, too,” Czes growled.
“Hmm? What? Why do you sound all grown-up all of a sudden?”
“…Huh?” The boy was confused. He’d thought Elmer had seen through to his true nature, and had said what he’d said to reproach him. “Didn’t you notice I was acting?”
“No, erm…huh? All I noticed was the fake smile and your—huh? What? That was acting?”
“Apparently I was the fool here, then…”
Seeing Czes slump tiredly, Elmer finally got a handle on the situation.
“Oh, ohhh! I see, I see, of course; I get it. Okay. I’ve got this. I see. Come to think of it, of course you’re right. You’re already about three hundred or so. I should have thought it was weird that you were still acting like a kid. Right. Sorry, though. I didn’t notice a thing.”
At Elmer’s thoughtlessness, Czes sighed up at the starry sky. Quietly, as the moonlight illuminated his white breath, the immortal with the body of a little boy began to speak.
“It’s strange, but Maiza hasn’t said anything these past seventy years. Sylvie and Nile don’t seem to care, either.”
His eyes, still those of a child, seemed to hold some unease.
“What I want to ask is… What do you think of us?”
“Companions.”
There wasn’t the slightest fraction of a pause. Elmer spoke firmly, with no hesitation or bewilderment, the moment Czes finished his sentence.
As Czes’s eyes went round at his response, Elmer suddenly changed his mind and began muttering, groping around for the answer.
“Nononono, wait, wait, wait, wait, it sounds kinda immature to say companions there, and actually, it sounds like a fib coming from me. With you, Czes, friends might be okay, but you’re really grown-up now, and after all, you are three hundred… In that case, tea-drinking buddy could work. No, wait, compatriots, comrades…fellows would be all right, too. The gang… Or I could go Latin-style and use amigo…a duo…a battery…teammates…et cetera, et cetera.”
He’s actually saying “et cetera” out loud…
Naturally, Czes’s internal comeback didn’t reach Elmer, and after a bit more muttering, the man clapped his hands and said:
“Let’s look to Asia this time and go with villains of the same stripe—”
“No thanks. What’s that sketchy conclusion supposed to be?”
As if getting his revenge for a short while before, Czes responded before Elmer had even finished speaking.
“It’s something Denkurou said to me a while back. ‘You and Huey are no doubt villains of the same stripe,’ he said.”
“You know he can’t have meant anything good by it… Agh, I was a fool for even trying to ask you about it seriously.”
“Quit talking like Maiza, all right? Act a little more like a kid.”
At Elmer’s insensitive comment, Czes irritably spat, “Knock it off. I told you. Inside, I’m not a little brat.”
“I see. Come to think of it, you’re right. But, you know, it’s honestly creepy when you talk that way. You’re an eternal child, in a so-called Neverland, so you’d do better to smile like a kid. When other people see kids smiling like they mean it, it makes them happy, too… Although I guess I can’t speak for people who hate kids, keh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.”
“So you’d ignore my own circumstances, then?”
“Not at all! On the contrary, this is for your sake! When you look grown-up, it’s embarrassing and tough to smile right out in the open like a child, but you can totally do it. You see? That’s an amazing privilege all by itself. On top of that, you can get into movies for cheap, get candy on Halloween, and all sorts of other great benefits. Plus, you can also act mature when it’s convenient for you—and only then—the way you are now… Besides… Listen, Czes. I said so before, but if you smile, you’ll make all the people around you feel positively euphoric. Then they’ll smile. That’ll make you smile more, too. See? That’s all you need to do, and you’ll be surrounded by happiness! Dammit, I’m so jealous!”
Czes couldn’t understand what he was saying. He quirked an eyebrow and gazed back at Elmer.
“…What’s that supposed to mean? I don’t understand you at all. I’ve thought so for ages now, but I can’t see why you’re so hung up on smiles. The idea of smiles bringing happiness is abysmally simplistic.”
“What are you saying?! Smiles are the highest of all human emotions! Don’t you know the Eastern proverb ‘Good fortune and happiness visit the homes of those who smile’?!”
“Proverbs are just proverbs. And what’s this business about emotions being ‘higher’ or ‘lower’ in the first place? What’s your standard?”
“My personal preference.”
Elmer answered immediately, and the boy sighed, thoroughly disgusted.
“Agh, how did someone as illogical as you end up an alchemist?”
“Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! As if guys who tried to make gold out of base metals would be logical!”
“Aaaaaaaah, you can’t say that, you’re practically denying your own existence…”
Czes held his head, and Elmer sat down right where he was, cackling.
“To begin with, thinking of copper and iron as ‘base metals’ is pretty arrogant, isn’t it? How could you possibly take metals that have been heated, stretched, and processed every which way, metals that have let us do absolutely anything we want to them without a single complaint, and call them ‘base’?”
Then Elmer rose to his feet and began to spin, as if to provoke Czes. It was obvious at a glance that there was no meaning to the action, but the man himself seemed to be thoroughly enjoying it.
“Starting around the fifteenth century, alchemists were roughly split into two camps. One was dedicated to research, and it would become the basis for science. The others were mystics who attempted to adhere to the ideals of alchemy. I guess we’d be the second type. If not, I doubt we would’ve agreed when Maiza suggested summoning a demon. Well, Huey and Szilard could’ve been both types. In other words, we’re immortal through the power of a demon, and it’s too late for us to try to bring logical thought into the picture at this point. It’s fine, just live true to your feelings—which is to say, go on and smile, Czes.”
“What I truly feel at the moment is that I’m about to explode with irritation because of you, you know.”
When Czes looked up at him with heavy-lidded eyes, Elmer immediately stopped spinning and, in contrast to the boy, opened his eyes until they were wide and round.
“Huh? Why?! Getting upset under a beautiful night sky like this isn’t good for you. You won’t get to live a long life, you know? …Okay, understood, roger that, stop. Stop looking like you’re watching a dog spin around in circles trying to sniff itself. I get it, I’ll listen seriously. I just got a little carried away out here under the stars.”
“You’ve always been less than serious, Elmer… That’s not the only reason I’m upset. What I wanted to ask about, and what’s irritating me, is that boundless thoughtlessness of yours.”
“Heh-heh. I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“I’m not complimenting you! I am in no way complimenting you! You always immediately try to throw people off like that… But answer this one thing seriously.”
Overawed by the intensity of the boy’s eyes, Elmer gave a troubled smile, then sat down where he was.
“What I want you to tell me is… Why didn’t you ask who ate Szilard?”
“……”
Faster than Elmer could speak, the immortal who looked like a boy rapidly fired more questions at him.
“Why were you able to accept us at face value like that? We might have come here to attack you, you know! Besides, even when I touched your face—when I put my right hand on your head! You didn’t even try to get away from it! You didn’t look scared, or even suspicious! Why, why do you feel so little danger?! Do you think you’ll never be eaten or something? Do you think we haven’t changed a bit in all this time?!”
Czes’s tone grew more and more forceful. Elmer simply continued to meet his questions with silence.
Then, after Czes had finished and taken a few breaths, Elmer looked straight into the boy’s eyes and spoke quietly, with a shamefaced half smile.
“I forgot.”
“…Huh?”
“Well, no, right, I see; that was the rule, come to think of it. If old Szilard is dead, then that was what happened. I completely forgot.”
“Answer me seriously!”
Without thinking, Czes yelled at him, but Elmer’s smile didn’t falter.
“No, this isn’t a joke, nothing like it. I actually did forget. I’m not lying.”
On hearing that, Czes was well and truly dumbfounded. Elmer had always been a guy who lied and cracked pointless jokes, but when he said he wasn’t lying, he really and truly wasn’t.
If his nature hadn’t changed one bit… Then Elmer really had forgotten the rule about devouring each other. Czes couldn’t believe that. He was even deluded into thinking that his life up until now had been denied.
“…You’re lying.”
“No, it’s true.”
“You’re lying! You…you were scared of being eaten, and that’s why you kept running, right? That’s why you’re living quietly in this remote place, isn’t it?!”
He shouted as if desperately trying to cling to something. Even as he listened, Elmer shook his head mercilessly.
“I wasn’t wandering around the world to get away from Szilard and the other guys. Besides, even if I hadn’t forgotten that rule, I would have accepted you four the same way.”
“That’s a lie.”
“I told you, it’s not a lie. And anyway, I know you four aren’t the type. Even if one of you did eat Szilard, I won’t reject you.”
“How am I supposed to believe something like that—?!”
Just as Czes stood, attempting to glare down at Elmer… Elmer grabbed Czes’s thin right wrist firmly, then set the boy’s palm flat against his own head. In that position, if Czes thought I want to eat even slightly, Elmer’s body and memories would instantly be absorbed into his right hand.
However, Czes was the one who was terrified. He tore away the hands gripping his own and yanked his sweaty palm from Elmer’s head in a panic.
Czes’s pulse was beating double time, and his breathing had roughened in the blink of an eye. Elmer smiled soothingly at him, his eyes gentle.
“Believe me now?”
His expression didn’t hold a trace of unease or resolve. On seeing it, Czes stood stock-still for a little while, looking dazed. As he gradually calmed down, he ground his teeth and muttered as if cursing him. That said, since his voice had never changed, only about half the resentment he actually wanted to convey came through.
“…Why…? Why are you able to do that?”
Elmer was still sitting down, and Czes asked his question insistently with a mixture of frustration and sadness.
“Why can you do things like that…? Not just you, Elmer. Maiza, and Begg, and Sylvie… When we first met again, they accepted me with absolutely no question. Things got a little interesting with Nile, but now he’s let his guard down around me, too. And not only me. They’ve all let their guard down around each other. They all believe we’ll never eat each other!” Czes yelled.
He looked down and quietly shook his head. Then, weakly and with some resignation, he continued.
“People change. I’m well aware of that. I know human nature is evil, too! …Well, that was what I thought, but at some point, I started to doubt it. Several decades ago, I went to New York on my own. I meant to reunite with Maiza, and to eat him. But I encountered different immortals on the way, and not only there. After I arrived in New York, there was a bunch of immortals besides our companions from the ship! Can you believe it? Still, by then, that didn’t matter. What truly scared me…was the fact that they were all incredibly good people!”