Chapter 5: Bai Lu

Chapter 5:
Bai Lu

 

THE MOMENT Shang Qinghua had seen Mobei-Jun suddenly appear, he had accidentally let out a “WTF!”

At the time, Shen Qingqiu hadn’t heard him particularly clearly, so he hadn’t paid it any mind. But afterward, the more he’d thought about it, the more suspicious he’d grown.

As the one who’d masterminded the event (or the logistics of it), Shang Qinghua was subject to the irresistible pressure of the plot—yet he hadn’t released the Black Moon Rhinoceros-Python that should have starred in numerous scenes. This was suspicious in itself, but if you considered the possibility that he had failed to do this intentionally in order to hinder the development of the plot—to sever the tragedy of Luo Binghe’s fall into the Endless Abyss at its roots—it made sense.

The two stared at each other, speechless, competing for most stunned.

“Digging plot holes and not filling them!” Shen Qingqiu finally burst out. “Foreshadowing gone to waste! Landmines all over the place! The writing style of an elementary schooler! If you’re going to write a stallion novel, then write a proper stallion novel—don’t fool around writing whump!”

“I’m also a victim here,” Shang Qinghua said slowly. “At the end of the day, I’m still the author. Even if I didn’t transmigrate into the protagonist, I should at least have transmigrated into the role of a System in itself, right? But all of a sudden, I try to plug in a cord, I get electrocuted, and the System assigns me a character at random—and I end up cannon fodder.”

“Still better than me,” Shen Qingqiu sneered. “After you’re exposed as a spy, Mobei-Jun kills you outright to silence you. At least it’s a straightforward death. Don’t you remember the state I’ll be in after I get carved up by Luo Binghe?

“You only transmigrated here how many years ago?” Shang Qinghua countered. “Right upon rebirth, you already had the rank of a great master, right? I transmigrated into an infant. A childhood where I was destitute and miserable, and years as a disrespected outer disciple—have you really gone through more than I have?”

This competition had no winner, because in the end, it was six of one, half a dozen of the other.

Shang Qinghua sighed. “I’ve actually met a reader. Must be fate, must be fate. One of the four joys in life is meeting an old friend in a foreign place. What was your Zhongdian ID? Maybe we were old acquaintances.”

“Peerless Cucumber,” said Shen Qingqiu.

Shang Qinghua thought for a while. “I vaguely remember you. Weren’t you especially vicious in one of those threads that was demanding I castrate the villain? It was when you, ahem, when the original Shen Qingqiu wanted to do…to Ning Yingying…”

At first, Shen Qingqiu emphatically said nothing. “I refuse to believe you only remember that one thing. Don’t dwell on the past.” More importantly, he had a resolution. “Enough blathering. I wanted to have a real discussion with you today—because after the Immortal Alliance Conference, I suddenly had an idea. Perhaps it can solve our shared problem.”

Shang Qinghua froze. “For real?”

“You think joking about something like this is funny?” Shen Qingqiu asked. “I’m talking about a guaranteed fix. As long as we keep it absolutely secret, we’ll avoid any trouble. It all depends on you. Do you still remember creating a plant that only appears every thousand years?”

Shang Qinghua was speechless. “Your description is way too broad. Bing-ge’s eaten at least eighty, if not a hundred plants like that.”

So you know too!

Shen Qingqiu sighed, then spoke four words into Shang Qinghua’s ear.

Shang Qinghua listened, shocked. After a moment, he gave Shen Qingqiu a deeply meaningful glance.

“What are you looking at?” asked Shen Qingqiu.

“Nothing,” said Shang Qinghua. “It’s only, long ago, I began to suspect that Cucumber-bro was a faithful reader, just one who didn’t like expressing his feelings in a normal way. To think you were able to recall an obscure, throwaway plot point that I used only once. I’m very moved.”

Shen Qingqiu refused to respond to that. “Tomorrow, leave the mountain with me. We’ll go search out its place of origin.”

“Tomorrow? This… Isn’t this a little too sudden?” Shang Qinghua stammered. “Truthfully I—I can’t remember its exact location and description. The entire work was nearly twenty million words long, and it was only mentioned in a single paragraph. Let me think for a while. I’ll tell you once I remember.”

“Then take your time remembering until Luo Binghe murders his way back, with Mobei-Jun under his command,” said Shen Qingqiu with utmost sincerity. “At that time, one will kill me, and the other will kill you. I’m sure it won’t be too late then either.”

“All right… I’ll definitely remember by tomorrow!”

Thankfully, on An Ding Peak, trivial matters like assigning rooms and uniforms to newly accepted disciples didn’t require the peak lord’s involvement. Shang Qinghua went back, and he thought long and hard the entire night, racking his brain, shifting and overturning the contents of his mind. Finally, before daybreak, an epiphany struck, and he circled a location on a map.

Upon seeing the map, Shen Qingqiu slapped the table, then grabbed Shang Qinghua and set off down the mountain. They spent part of the journey eating, part of it playing, traveled partly by sword and partly by carriage. All in all, it should have been quite pleasant. The only part that was just a tiny bit unpleasant was that Shang Qinghua moaned and groaned as he sat in the coachman’s seat.

“Why am I the one paying for all the food and lodgings?” he asked. “Why, whenever we’re taking a carriage, am I also the one driving?”

“Don’t you feel any shame?” Shen Qingqiu asked from inside the carriage. “The funds are communal, provided by Zhangmen-shixiong. All you’re doing is taking them from your waist pouch.”

Shang Qinghua’s heart grew especially sour when he thought back on the words of instruction Yue Qingyuan had given him before they left.

“Shang-shidi, for the journey’s duration, Qingqiu will be in your care. He’s frail, so please watch over him.”

What was up with that?

As the author “Great Master” Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky, who’d put his all into portraying Shang Qinghua as lowly scum, he finally understood this character’s pain.

Logistics really got no respect. Everyone treated him like a nanny! Who wouldn’t understand the original Shang Qinghua’s desire to climb the ranks by any means? It was all too sympathetic!

“You have hands and feet,” said Shang Qinghua. “Why don’t you use them your—fuck, fuck!”

Shen Qingqiu felt the carriage suddenly pitch forward, like Shang Qinghua had abruptly reined in the horse. He raised the curtains, on the alert. “What’s wrong?”

The carriage was currently passing through a stretch of dense forest. All around them, ancient trees soared into the sky while fallen leaves were scattered everywhere. Most of the sunlight was blocked by layers upon layers of branches. On the ground, it was difficult to find even specks of light.

Shen Qingqiu saw nothing strange, but he didn’t lower his guard. “What were you screaming about?”

Shang Qinghua was still panicked. “Just now I saw a woman on the ground, slithering by like a snake! If I hadn’t stopped the carriage, I would’ve run her right over!

This did sound rather eerie.

“That is indeed worth screaming over,” said Shen Qingqiu.

The forest was still and quiet. As of right now, nothing seemed off. Shen Qingqiu didn’t dare relax, though. Instead of getting back inside the carriage, he joined Shang Qinghua in the driver’s seat. Forming a sword seal with one hand, he observed their surroundings in silence while his other hand pulled out a handful of melon seeds from the snacks bag, which he shoved at Shang Qinghua. “Be good, go inside, eat and play.”

Shang Qinghua could be ordered about and used for odd jobs, but when it came to fighting monsters, he was pretty much useless. He knew his own capabilities and obediently took the melon seeds and started eating. With every step the horse took, he ate a seed.

As such, after an incense time, they finally…realized a very serious problem.

The two of them wordlessly looked at the ground and at a trail of familiar melon seed hulls.

“Mm, no doubt about it. Cang Qiong Mountain Sect’s Qian Cao Peak’s Dragon-Bone Cantaloupe seeds are red in color with golden insides,” said Shang Qinghua. “This is definitely the trail of seed hulls I left.”

“I am aware that peddling melon seeds is one of your peak’s side jobs. Enough.”

So, here was their problem: how had they returned to their original location?

The two of them stared at each other.

They were going in circles, a classic—and very tired—scenario.

Shang Qinghua suggested an old folk remedy. “How about we try sprinkling a male virgin’s pee into the horse’s eyes?”

“Horses have dignity too. Why sprinkle urine in its eyes?” Shen Qingqiu asked. “And where am I supposed to find a male virgin’s pee out in the middle of nowhere?”

Once these words left his mouth, he realized that Shang Qinghua was gazing intently at him.

“Why are you looking at me?! As for my former self—let’s not talk about that for now. You wrote Shen Qingqiu’s original character yourself. He’s unsullied without, degenerate within, always burning with lust. He had an affair in his youth and sought prostitutes as an adult. You think I’m still a virgin? And don’t point at yourself, Shang Qinghua was written the same way.”

Shen Qingqiu frowned, thinking carefully, then slapped his thigh. He turned and entered the carriage, but he abruptly heard Shang Qinghua howl again from outside. Shen Qingqiu grabbed the thing he was looking for and scurried back out.

“What is it?!” he yelled.

Shang Qinghua was so terrified that his words no longer had any punctuation marks. “When you went in I felt something hairy brush my neck and when I raised my head I saw it was a mass of hair and underneath it was a huge white face that I couldn’t see clearly fuck me!”

Shen Qingqiu lifted his head, and of course he couldn’t see anything. He sat down properly, opened the map in his hands, and raised an eyebrow. “Whatever it is, it’s quite clever.”

“Why so?”

“It knows to pick off the weak and so chose the easier one to scare.” He patted Shang Qinghua’s shoulder again. “No matter how terrifying the creature, you wrote it yourself. Why are you scared?!”

“I don’t remember writing…” Shang Qinghua trailed off. “Cucumber-bro, are you looking at the map? Take a good look; this is a map of the mainland—the entire mainland. Bai Lu Forest may be marked, but it’s only the size of a dot.”

“Look for yourself.” Shen Qingqiu pointed at the lower portion of the map.

Cang Qiong Mountain and Zhao Hua Monastery were in the east, Tian Yi Temple was in the center, and in the south was the territory belonging to Huan Hua Palace. The dot representing Bai Lu Forest just happened to fall on a border with the last, which had been outlined in diluted ink.

Shang Qinghua suddenly understood. “Bai Lu Forest was allotted to Huan Hua Palace and its sphere of influence? So right now, we aren’t walking in circles, we’ve just entered their protective array?

To prevent random passersby from intruding and stirring up trouble, all the large sects had their own security spells. Take, for example, Cang Qiong Mountain’s Heaven-Ascending Stairs: common folk who didn’t know the path would be stuck climbing thirteen thousand steps, unable to reach the peak, until they were nearly dead. They could only wait for the disciples defending the mountains to escort them back down.

Thus, so long as they were trapped in this spell and without guidance, they would only keep running in circles.

Shen Qingqiu called out mentally. “System? You there?” After a while with no response, he called again. “Didn’t you promise 24-hour online service? If you don’t respond, I’ll leave a negative review.”

【 Hello, the System has entered Hibernation Mode. You are speaking to the AI assistant. If you require service, please help yourself. 】

Hibernation. Shen Qingqiu split his sides laughing.

Now that he thought about it, these past few days, the System hadn’t granted him any B-Points or various other bizarre, newly activated point varieties.

【 The System was disconnected from its central power source, “Luo Binghe,”】 the AI assistant explained. 【 It is currently undergoing maintenance and updating itself in the background. The System will reactivate once it has been reconnected. We wish you a pleasant self-service experience. Thank you. 】

The current version was already frustrating enough—wouldn’t a new version just straight up kill him in the future? No, wait, the main point was—

Luo Binghe was your central power source?! The fuck!

Shen Qingqiu had more questions, but he soon realized that the assistant only repeated the same thing over and over.

What kind of fucking “AI assistant” is this? Isn’t this basically like QQ’s14 automated response? And you still have the nerve to call it an “AI”!

Shen Qingqiu nudged Shang Qinghua. “Call your System. Is it still connected?”

Shang Qinghua blinked. After a moment, he said, “It says it’s undergoing maintenance.”

So not only was Luo Binghe the central power source of Shen Qingqiu’s System, once he was disconnected, all the Systems went down.

One could have said this matter was serious, but in truth it wasn’t that serious. It only meant that while Luo Binghe was in the Abyss, Shen Qingqiu couldn’t acquire B-Points. If he thought about it, this was good. If he couldn’t acquire them, he also couldn’t lose them, which meant that all restrictions were off!

Shen Qingqiu was still consoling himself when he suddenly sensed the shrubbery by the side of the road rustling and moving. He snapped his fingers. “Come out!” he yelled.

At his waist, Xiu Ya left its sheath, controlled by the orders from Shen Qingqiu’s sword seals, flipping, stabbing, and slashing. The creature hidden in the shrubbery seemed to swim like a fish, more slippery than a loach, evading all his stabs.

Suddenly, a blinding ray of light flashed before Shen Qingqiu’s eyes. The creature let out a shrill whine and leapt backward several meters.

The shrubbery had been slashed into shambles and was no longer capable of hiding anything, but that thing had long since escaped. There were no further movements.

He hadn’t used any flashy techniques just now, right? Presumably he’d just momentarily reflected a ray of sunlight.

“It’s afraid of light?” Shang Qinghua asked, bringing his head close to Shen Qingqiu’s. “Damn, it really is a female ghost! But I didn’t write about one—I absolutely didn’t write about one!”

The two of them were about to discuss this when they heard the subtle sound of footsteps.

This person’s footwork was excellent. If Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua had been of any shallower cultivation, they definitely wouldn’t have noticed them approaching.

From the depths of the woods emerged a youth dressed in white.

That youth held his sword unsheathed, his expression alert. On seeing his visitors, his face grew astonished, and he quickly sheathed his sword to greet them.

“This junior sensed some unusual fluctuations around the barrier and henceforth hurried over, not knowing Immortals Shen and Shang were here. Please excuse us for not coming to receive you.”

Shen Qingqiu saw that he was quite handsome but that he looked unfamiliar. “This young hero is?” he asked politely.

The youth almost fell over.

“There’s a limit to how little dignity you can leave others,” Shang Qinghua whispered in his ear. “That’s Gongyi Xiao.”

Gongyi Xiao was a little depressed. Though he had been number one before Luo Binghe kicked him off that place on the golden tablet, no matter what, he was still number two.

His achievements were remarkable, and he had been the favorite for first place, so he had greeted each sect’s high-ranking members alongside the Old Palace Master. Therefore, Shen Qingqiu’s failure to recognize him came as a surprise.

“As expected, one’s heroism is evident even in youth,” Shen Qingqiu said, offering praise.

“I don’t dare presume,” Gongyi Xiao demurred. “Still, for two peak lords to enter Huan Hua Palace’s territory unannounced—why didn’t you inform us beforehand? We’ve neglected our seniors. Our hearts are burdened.”

He was truly treating Bai Lu Forest as his sect’s territory. As a favored disciple on the Huan Hua Palace payroll, he had an obligation to ascertain the intentions of two visiting peak lords from Cang Qiong Mountain Sect. Why would they skulk around the border of his sect’s sphere of influence?

“We have no intention of visiting Huan Hua Palace and are only dealing with a small matter within Bai Lu Forest,” Shen Qingqiu said.

By informing Gongyi Xiao that they had come for business but neglecting to say what the business was, he clearly indicated that he was unwilling to discuss it. In general, Gongyi Xiao would be expected not to ask further questions. After all, a junior interrogating his seniors about their activities would be improper.

Gongyi Xiao wavered for a moment. “This junior doesn’t know what matter the two seniors are seeing to, and he is unskilled. But may he be so bold as to request permission to come along to assist?”

“If we refuse him now and let him leave, it won’t be just one person coming to look for us later.” Shen Qingqiu’s face held a smile, his lips barely moving, as he muttered to his teammate. “It’s better if we bring him along. Anyhow, he can fight.”

Shang Qinghua, who admittedly couldn’t fight, muttered in response. “In the event he won’t let us walk away with the Sun-Moon Dew Mushroom, what will we do? ‘If it grows in my garden, of course it belongs to me. If it grows along my fence, it also belongs to me.’ Don’t say that I didn’t warn you of Huan Hua Palace’s logic.”

“Are you an idiot?” Shen Qingqiu asked. “When we find it, we take it and leave. He can’t forcibly snatch it from us. If he goes back and tattles to his teacher, that’s a problem for future us. We’ll be long gone by then. Like we’d wait for them to catch us.”

“What if our sects become hostile?”

“Your life or diplomatic relations, choose one.”

Shang Qinghua didn’t hesitate in the slightest. “Let’s bring him!”

Shen Qingqiu raised his head and decisively said to Gongyi Xiao, “Let’s go!”

And so, the hard work of driving was handed to the junior.

“Senior Shen, there’s something junior doesn’t understand,” Gongyi Xiao said curiously as he was maneuvering the reins.

“Please, speak,” said Shen Qingqiu.

“With Senior’s level of cultivation, he would need only a moment to break our sect’s protective array, and he could do it without anyone knowing any better. Why did you emit such a large spiritual fluctuation?”

“That fluctuation wasn’t my attempt to break the spell,” said Shen Qingqiu. “It occurred while I fought a mysterious demonic creature.”

“A mysterious demonic creature?”

“In truth, it was hard to tell if it was demonic, but it had an evil appearance unlike that of normal creatures from our realm.”

Gongyi Xiao frowned. “There are human settlements within a five-kilometer radius from Bai Lu Forest, but we’ve never heard word of any demonic attacks. Even fierce beasts are uncommon.”

“Then what exactly was that?” Shen Qingqiu muttered to himself. “It had loose hair draped all over its head, an oddly flexible skeleton, and a bloated face like that of a starved, drowned corpse.”

“No matter what it is, it’s for the best if it doesn’t appear again,” Gongyi Xiao said. “If it does, the two seniors need not trouble themselves and can leave it to this junior.”

The respect within those words wasn’t a pretense. Though Gongyi Xiao’s understanding of his senior who carried the Xiu Ya sword was limited, and they’d only met once or twice from afar during the last Immortal Alliance Conference, Shen Qingqiu’s personal disciple had surpassed Gongyi Xiao to secure the top rank. That same disciple had also saved quite a few of Huan Hua Palace’s disciples, and therefore Gongyi Xiao felt no lack of reverence for him.

Shen Qingqiu took in that proper bearing, which lacked not the slightest bit of appropriate humility. Moreover, Gongyi Xiao’s appearance was of the same type as Luo Binghe’s—gentle and emotional, a handsome youth with a smile in his eyes. It was horribly difficult not to be reminded of Luo Binghe, his unblackened, lovable disciple; it was also horribly difficult not to come away with a favorable impression of the boy.

With Gongyi Xiao’s guidance, the three quickly broke through Huan Hua Palace’s protective array and pinpointed their location.

The original novel had not described the place where the Sun-Moon Dew Mushroom grew in much detail, just briefly mentioned that it was “in a stone cave covered by dense greenery.” Merely recalling this sliver of content had cost Shang Qinghua half his soul. In his defense, this mushroom wasn’t reserved for Luo Binghe. Rather, it was supposed to be for one of his opponents.

It was precisely because of this that Shen Qingqiu dared to seek it for himself. If it were a thing that affected the main plotline, or if it were some mystical flower or herb meant to provide one of Luo Binghe’s power-ups, he wouldn’t have had the guts to try and steal it. Trying to snitch resources from the male lead didn’t lead to the kind of sweet and forgiving conclusion you got when you lost a handful of rice for trying to swipe a chicken. But since they were both villains, he figured it should be fine if they reappropriated it.

Fortunately, though Bai Lu Forest was large, there was only one stone cave. This saved them quite a bit of trouble.

Shen Qingqiu snapped his fingers, and a bright yellow flame sprang to life at his fingertips. With a flick, the flame swam off into the depths of the damp, pitch-dark cave, a bright tail leisurely swishing behind it to illuminate the path before them.

At first, the stone path was wide enough for three people to walk shoulder to shoulder, but the farther they went, the narrower it became, until they had to turn sideways to get through. It twisted this way and that, like the coiled intestines of some giant beast.

The lighting was poor. Even Shen Qingqiu’s ball of flame flickered between bright and dim. He flicked out a few more, and the balls of fire chased each other around. Gongyi Xiao took up the rear. Shang Qinghua had wanted to wait outside the cave, but Shen Qingqiu had dragged him in. Maybe he was scared or something, because he touched Shen Qingqiu’s arm from time to time, making goosebumps run down it whenever he did.

Finally, Shen Qingqiu couldn’t take it anymore. Because they were with an interloper, he lowered his voice to hiss, “Can you stop pinching me?”

There was no reply, but at least the touches stopped. Shen Qingqiu continued to grope his way forward, but Shang Qinghua suddenly kicked him in the calf.

Shen Qingqiu couldn’t help letting a “Fuck!” slip from his mouth.

Shang Qinghua’s voice sounded from far behind. “Shen……shi……xiong! What……did……you……say?”

His voice echoed through the winding corridors like it had been stretched by the distance. It seemed that Shen Qingqiu had been unconsciously walking faster and faster while Shang Qinghua had dawdled, meaning Gongyi Xiao, who was taking up the rear, was also unable to pick up the pace. He’d already left the other two quite a ways behind.

But if Shang Qinghua hadn’t been touching his arm, then who had?

Or, in other words, what had been touching his arm?

Shen Qingqiu ground to a halt. With a blank expression on his face, he patted his arm, attempting to brush off the goosebumps. A few balls of flame were still suspended in midair, burning faintly.

The enemy’s in the dark. I’m in the light.

With a flip of his left hand, Shen Qingqiu silently produced two paper talismans from his sleeve while his right hand slowly drew Xiu Ya. The sword grew increasingly bright, but the only thing in front and behind him was dark stone, which gave off a damp, rank odor.

Then Shen Qingqiu realized that, when something had collided with his calf a second before, it hadn’t felt like a kick from a foot. Rather, it had been more like…a headbutt.

Shen Qingqiu jerked his head down, and his gaze met that of a deathly pale and bloated face on the ground.

Shen Qingqiu threw his talismans at the face, and in an instant, the narrow stone pathway lit up with bursts of fire and flashes of lightning. He wanted to draw his sword, but he hadn’t realized that the space was too narrow. Before he’d even drawn it halfway out of its sheath, his right arm knocked against the wall of the tunnel, and the hilt of his sword hit the stone with a clang.

The thing on the ground was soft and boneless, slithering back and forth like a giant snake. It was more agile than Shen Qingqiu, and it evaded his attacks so quickly that even at this point-blank range, the talismans failed to hit it. In the short time Shen Qingqiu had lost attempting to draw his sword, it had already reversed course with a swish and slithered away, heading right in the direction of Shang Qinghua and Gongyi Xiao.

“Watch out!” he yelled. “There’s something heading your way!”

At this, Shang Qinghua immediately turned around and yelled. “Young hero, quick! Let’s switch places!” He worked in logistics—how could he be the front line of an assault?!

Gongyi Xiao tried to do as instructed, but the pathway was already narrow enough to raise the hair on one’s nape. There was only enough space for one person to walk with a fist’s width of margin besides. He couldn’t get around at all.

Shen Qingqiu yelled again. “On the ground! Look at the ground! It’s crawling on the ground!”

When Shang Qinghua turned his head back, he saw a snake-man slithering toward them. He made a swift decision and collapsed on the spot.

Gongyi Xiao had never seen such an eerie monster either, and he froze for a moment. But upon seeing Shang Qinghua’s sudden collapse, his face twitched.

“My apologies!” he cried as he leapt over Shang Qinghua.

Though it was done in an unsightly way, the logistics guy and the vanguard finally at least managed to switch places.

“Don’t draw your sword—” Shen Qingqiu yelled again.

Before he could finish the word “sword,” Gongyi Xiao had carelessly tried to draw. Of course, he ended up suffering the same disastrous consequence. His hilt hit the stone wall before the sword was halfway out.

Shen Qingqiu finally arrived, holding his own blade. “Ah, idiot!” he blurted out.

Gongyi Xiao was rather aggrieved. In truth, Shen Qingqiu also knew that the issue was that the boy’s reflexes were too fast, leading him to move before he finished listening. Anyone else would have done the same. But in the past, on the few occasions Shen Qingqiu had partnered with Luo Binghe, his disciple had understood exactly what Shen Qingqiu wanted, and he had always responded perfectly without his master needing to offer a single word of clarification. The contrast was as clear as day. Shen Qingqiu couldn’t help but miss the benefits and ease working with Luo Binghe had afforded him.

The stone corridor meandered back and forth, and moreover it was dark, which made for an extremely advantageous environment for that thing to move through. Shen Qingqiu drew out another handful of talismans, but the thing had already slithered away and disappeared.

“Senior Shen, that…snake, was that the demonic creature you encountered in Bai Lu Forest?” Gongyi Xiao asked in disbelief.

“It was,” said Shen Qingqiu. “I still don’t understand how that thing managed to escape our pincer attack.”

“By squeezing past me.” Expression unchanging, Shang Qinghua got up from the ground and patted the dust from his robes.

Gongyi Xiao pointedly said nothing.

“…Let’s go,” said Shen Qingqiu. “This time, stay close to me.”

His reminder wasn’t necessary. This time, even on threat of death, Shang Qinghua refused to stray more than an arm’s length away from him.

After a dizzying number of twists and turns, the three finally made their way out of the stone corridor. Deep in the belly of the cave, they suddenly came upon a wide cavern.

Before, Shen Qingqiu hadn’t really understood how anything called the “Sun-Moon Dew Mushroom” could be found in the depths of a cave, which presumably had neither sunlight nor moonlight. The name clearly indicated a thing that gathered spiritual energy from nature and from the essence of the sun and moon, so how could it grow in this place? Now he finally got it.

As it turned out, at the cavern’s highest point, a giant opening in the ceiling yawned up toward the sky. Sun and moonlight fell through this opening like a spotlight to hit a single point at the heart of an underground lake.

A little mound of soil surrounded by glittering water was naturally a hallowed location with excellent feng shui, and it was where the Sun-Moon Dew Mushroom grew.

“The Dew Lake,” Shang Qinghua said with conviction. “I’m certain.”

Having received confirmation, Shen Qingqiu let out a sigh of relief. They had found the right place.

The lake before them was filled with no ordinary water but rather with unsullied morning dew. This unsullied water collected from morning dew, brimming with spiritual energy, and nourished the Sun-Moon Dew Mushroom. After the mushrooms matured, their mycelia sunk into the water and soil to nourish the dew water in return. In this way, the spiritual energy cycled back and forth undiminished, never to be exhausted.

Admiring the beautiful scene, Gongyi Xiao finally understood the peak lords’ objective. But he still found it a bit odd.

Cang Qiong Mountain was a major sect that produced mystical herbs and elixirs, and surely they gathered a number of rare and treasured flowers every day. Though this mushroom was scarce and precious, it didn’t look like something that could grant immortality, nor a breakthrough to ascension—so how did it merit two peak lords personally taking a long journey to collect it?

Meanwhile, Shen Qingqiu’s eyes were fixed solely on the small, white, fleshy pods in the center of the lake. With a sweep of his sleeves, he stepped resolutely into the water. After a few dozen steps, the dew water reached his waist, neither warm nor cold, soaking his skin. It felt as if it could soak right through to the heart.

Though these mushrooms were small and looked just like bean sprouts, once they were planted somewhere with excellent feng shui and a bounty of spiritual energy, and nurtured according to plan…

Shen Qingqiu hesitated at the sight of the dozen or so white mushrooms growing on the little dirt mound, small and tender. Come to think of it, these mushrooms were a natural wonder; to harvest every last one seemed a bit immoral. But on second thought, if he didn’t pick them all now, another villain would pick them later, which would be even more immoral. And if they messed up and destroyed one, it would be good to have a few extra as backup, just to be absolutely safe. Insurance was critically important.

Having made his decision, he carefully pulled up each mushroom together with a little soil and stored them in his sleeves.

When the last mushroom was in his hands, Shen Qingqiu suddenly heard the sound of a sword being drawn behind him before he could properly stow it.

When he turned around, Gongyi Xiao had his sword in hand, and he was staring straight at Shen Qingqiu.

At first Shen Qingqiu thought Gongyi Xiao was protesting his slapdash approach to harvesting, but Shang Qinghua was in the same stance. It was then that he knew something had gone wrong, and he held his breath.

Suddenly, something long and large leapt out of the surface of the lake. It looked like a giant fish, and it pounced straight toward Shen Qingqiu.

A pale and deadened face flew right at him. It was that thing that had been following them since they reached the forest.

At the same time, Gongyi Xiao finished forming his sword seal, and his sword flew at the thing like a bolt of lightning. But once the thing missed Shen Qingqiu, it sank into the lake and did not resurface, stirring up the long-settled silt at the bottom until the water became turbid and murky.

Gongyi Xiao recalled his sword. “Senior Shen, come back to shore, quick!”

But Shen Qingqiu smiled. “Don’t panic. I want to go fishing.”

He stood in place without moving, and he slowly extracted a talisman from his robe.

“A single talisman probably isn’t—” Gongyi Xiao started.

Before “enough” could leave his mouth, Shen Qingqiu rubbed the talisman like he would rub a bill, and the single talisman abruptly became an entire stack. Holding that stack of talismans, Shen Qingqiu thrust his fist into the water.

A chain of booms followed.

The surface of the lake exploded, sending up over twelve sprays of water into the air, each several meters tall.

This explosion also threw the snake-man hiding on the lake bottom into the air. It was tossed up high before crashing heavily to the ground by Shang Qinghua’s feet.

Shen Qingqiu dripped his way back to shore. After being given a meaningful look, Gongyi Xiao used the hilt of his sword to turn the creature over.

Once it had been, all three were horror-struck.

After a long time, Shen Qingqiu turned to look at Shang Qinghua. “What is this?”

Shang Qinghua squeezed out three words. “…I don’t know!”

He really didn’t.

The creature was vaguely human-like. It had a full head of long hair, but it seemed to be entirely composed of cartilage. Its skin was rough, hard, and covered in patches of scales here and there, like a python half-scraped of its scales.

Though Shen Qingqiu had originally thought it was a female ghost, upon taking a closer look at its face, though it was bloated, he could faintly discern that it was that of a man.

Shang Qinghua gave Shen Qingqiu a questioning look. “Did I…?” he asked.

Meaning: Did I write about this kind of thing?

Shen Qingqiu frowned. “…I don’t think so.”

If the original novel had given this thing more than ten words of description, there was no way he wouldn’t have remembered!

The two looked hopefully at Gongyi Xiao. Gongyi Xiao didn’t recognize it either, and he felt a bit awkward. “If the two masters cannot recognize this creature, it is even more unfamiliar to this junior.”

“Let me say something,” Shang Qinghua said suddenly. “What if this isn’t this creature’s natural form?”

That made sense. It was so grotesque that it certainly didn’t seem like a normal creature but rather a deformed specimen or a crossbreed.

“Punishment from the heavens, a curse, or a cultivator who failed to cultivate a forbidden technique?” Shen Qingqiu muttered.

“All three of those events could indeed result in this kind of monster,” said Gongyi Xiao.

The snake-man on the ground seemed to be irritated by the word “monster,” and its tail-like back half furiously slapped the ground.

Shang Qinghua hurriedly dodged away. “Young Hero Gongyi, Young Master Gongyi, don’t say such irresponsible things—it seems like it can understand us. Use a different word, a different word!”

The creature’s gaze remained fixed on Shen Qingqiu’s sleeve.

At that moment, Shen Qingqiu noticed that, although this creature looked sinister and terrifying enough to make one retch, the eyes gazing through its curtain of tangled hair were incomparably clear, just like the water of the Dew Lake.

He had a sudden realization.

“No wonder it attacked us. Look.” He pointed. “Its eyes. They probably look like that because it drinks the unsullied morning dew every day. Now look at its scales—there’s lichen growing between the cracks, green with a bit of red, the exact same kind that grows on the stone walls. It’s been visiting this cave for a long time. Perhaps it’s been living off the spiritual dew within the Dew Lake.”

And if the Sun-Moon Dew Mushroom was picked, the main force driving the circulation of spiritual energy in this lake would be destroyed. The spiritual energy in the Dew Lake would gradually be depleted, and eventually it would become a pool of mere wastewater—it might even dry up completely. That was why this creature had been following them, waiting for a chance to attack.

“But Senior Shen, if that monster has been living off the dew water, wouldn’t it be better to eat them directly?” Gongyi Xiao asked. “Why did it never pick the mushrooms for itself?”

“When we were in Bai Lu Forest, it kept obstructing us,” said Shen Qingqiu. “At first, it only retreated after it was burned by the sunlight reflecting off my sword blade. Perhaps it can’t stand light, especially light from the sun and moon. So it can only move within the shade of forests, inside caves, and beneath the water.” He pointed at the shaft of light beaming down from the cave’s domed ceiling. “The Sun-Moon Dew Mushrooms are steeped in sunlight and moonlight all day and all night. Of course it couldn’t approach them.”

As confirmation, he withdrew a tender mushroom and swung it back and forth. As expected, the snake-man’s eyes lit up, and it urgently craned its neck toward it, baring a mouthful of dense white teeth.

Gongyi Xiao prodded it with the hilt of his sword and flipped it over again. The snake-man strained, struggling and wriggling on the ground, but it couldn’t turn back over. Gongyi Xiao turned his sword point down, seemingly preparing to stab it through.

“Wait,” Shen Qingqiu said hurriedly.

As expected, Gongyi Xiao stopped. “Senior?” he asked in confusion.

“You said before that the common people within a several-kilometer radius of Bai Lu Forest had never suffered demonic attacks?” Shen Qingqiu asked tactfully.

“Yes.”

“Then that means this creature has never done anything malicious. There’s no need to exterminate it. Moreover, all it’s ever done has been to drink the dew water in this cave. We were the ones who intruded and disturbed it.”

Since his senior had spoken, of course Gongyi Xiao had to obey. Shen Qingqiu spoke true; if this monster really had killed or harmed humans, Huan Hua Palace would have discovered and eradicated it long ago. It was precisely because it had never done any harm that it had not yet been killed. Therefore, Gongyi Xiao sheathed his sword as he observed Shen Qingqiu looking at the creature on the ground with a benevolent gaze. Gongyi Xiao believed that Shen Qingqiu was cut from the same cloth as the masters from Zhao Hua Monastery, who believed in mercy and charity. He could never have guessed that Shen Qingqiu’s interest in such strange creatures was equivalent to the average Zhongdian reader’s interest in the hundreds of flower-like maidens, each more beautiful than the last.

Even after they had left the depths of the cave, no one noticed that the snake-man strenuously struggling on the ground had stopped writhing and was instead ever so slightly shivering.

Pressed under its deformed body was a tiny, thin Sun-Moon Dew Mushroom sprout. In that pair of incongruously bright eyes, a raging fire began to burn.

 

***

 

After exiting Bai Lu Forest, Gongyi Xiao invited the two peak lords to visit Huan Hua Palace—he could also notify the Old Palace Master.

Shen Qingqiu declined. “After all, we’ve already enjoyed your assistance. It would be impolite to trouble you further.”

You’re joking! Go to Huan Hua Palace? For what? A mushroom-viewing party? What if your higher-ups take things too seriously and insist on discussing property rights?

Realizing that Gongyi Xiao still wanted to detain them, Shang Qinghua took the lead. “Young Hero Gongyi, let’s dispense with courtesy today—we can visit properly next time. If you come to Cang Qiong Mountain in the future, you can visit Qing Jing Peak. Your Senior Shen will definitely look after you well.”

Shen Qingqiu gave him a look. Shang Qinghua immediately shut up.

Shen Qingqiu finally recovered his expression and smiled. “As Shang-shidi says, Qing Jing Peak awaits your arrival.”

Gongyi Xiao knew that just like its name, the people of Qing Jing Peak were fond of peace and quiet and didn’t like to be disturbed by guests. He wasn’t sure if these were just words of courtesy, but he smiled either way.

“I will remember Senior Shen’s words,” he said. “I may indeed have the chance to disturb you in the future. When the time comes, to whom should I send the message announcing my arrival?”

Without a second thought, Shen Qingqiu said, “Give it to my disciple, Luo Bing—”

After he spoke, everyone fell silent. The atmosphere turned a bit odd.

Though he was stuck for a moment, Shen Qingqiu slowly flapped his fan twice and stiffly continued. “—he’s shixiong, Ming Fan.”

Gongyi Xiao’s heart filled with conflicted feelings.

Rumor had it that after the peak lord of Qing Jing Peak lost his beloved disciple at the Immortal Alliance Conference, he had for a time fallen into inconsolable heartbreak, being out of his mind with grief. The man before him right now didn’t seem like one who had accepted that Luo Binghe was really gone. Perhaps Shen Qingqiu hadn’t come here primarily to pick the mushroom but rather to take his mind off things so he could briefly forget Luo Binghe’s existence. Otherwise, why would two peak lords pursue this task in person? Senior Shang must have come to supervise Senior Shen and make sure he didn’t do anything rash. Then, after Shen Qingqiu had forced himself to smile this whole trip, Gongyi Xiao had managed to poke his sore spot and stir up melancholy thoughts… As expected—what a deep master-and-disciple bond!

Until they parted ways, Gongyi Xiao kept looking back at Shen Qingqiu every ten steps, his gaze a tangled mix of awkwardness, sympathy, sorrow, and admiration.

Shen Qingqiu was a bit creeped out by this gaze. It had only been a slip of the tongue. What stories was Gongyi Xiao making up in that head of his?

“It’s true,” Shang Qinghua sighed when they were again alone. “It’s actually true.”

Shen Qingqiu gave him a kick that was neither heavy nor light. “What’s true?”

“I’ve been watching you for a while, and I have something to say. Besides, keeping it in is uncomfortable,” said Shang Qinghua. “Cucumber-bro, did you really see Luo Binghe as the apple of your eye? Did you adore him as your darling baby and disciple?”

He went on, analyzing the evidence piece by piece. “I heard your Qing Jing Peak disciples say that ever since returning from the Immortal Alliance Conference, Shen-shixiong has been out of his mind with grief, his thoughts wandering all over the place. Time after time, you call Luo Binghe’s name, and you stand in front of that sword mound and sigh in sorrow. I didn’t believe it, but just now I finally witnessed it with my own eyes. Cucumber-bro, I really never thought that you were this sort of person.”

Fuck, “out of your mind” again?! Is this phrase going to be the eternal stain on my lifetime of hard work?! My disciples all supposedly walk the path of scholarly detachment—when did they turn into such gossips? Spreading this sort of nonsense everywhere! What are you doing with your master’s image?!

Shang Qinghua continued to dig his own grave. “Cucumber-bro, can I ask, how did you see Luo Binghe? I remember you were one of his fans, right? You roasted a huge number of the characters I wrote, but even so, you never roasted him. To you, is he a character, or is he a…”

A chill ran down Shen Qingqiu’s back.

This bizarre interrogation from “Great Master” Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky was identical in tone to high-school girls gossiping in the dorms after lights-out.

“Tell me! Do you have a crush on ___?” “N-no, what are you talking about!” “Dodging the question~ Don’t be shy O(∩_∩)O ha ha~” “I hate you, go to bed!”

Lightning. Lightning from the nine heavens!

Shang Qinghua was in fact innocent. He was honestly asking and was interested in discussing the matter. It was Shen Qingqiu who was overthinking the skeletons in his closet.

“Why aren’t we moving?” Shen Qingqiu snapped, interrupting him.

Shang Qinghua stared. “What?”

Shen Qingqiu stared back, then shoved the reins into his hand. “Gongyi Xiao left, so we need a driver.”

“Why haven’t you driven even once?” Shang Qinghua asked suspiciously.

“You should be considerate toward the poisoned invalid.”

Invalid my ass! thought Shang Qinghua. Who was happily fighting monsters and blowing up spiritual lakes just now?! Have some dignity!

Shen Qingqiu relaxed within the carriage and shook out his sleeves.

There were still five years before Luo Binghe would leave the Endless Abyss and return to the Human Realm. If nothing went wrong, the mushrooms they had just harvested would definitely be enough to save Shen Qingqiu's life.

However, he had forgotten the fundamental stupidity of Proud Immortal Demon Way. If nothing went wrong at such a crucial junction in a novel’s storyline, that meant it wasn’t exciting enough!