Chapter 33

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 33

HOW long had she been in Aridol? Was it just a few months? Less than a dozen? Yuki didn’t know. The one thing she could say for sure was she had never thought about her death before she came to this world—never expected the way she would die would be by execution.

***

YUKI heard the door unlock. Padimate stood in the doorway with a tray of food. First he looked at the bed then around the room when he realized Yuki wasn’t there. He blinked several times when his eyes met Yuki’s on the balcony.

“…Are you all right?” he asked. She was certain he was a little surprised, even if his expression didn’t show any signs of it.

Yuki smiled. “I’m excellent; just enjoying the fresh air. It’s already time for lunch, huh?”

Padimate placed the tray on the table beside her bed. The soup had spilled half its contents as usual. Yuki sat on the side of her bed and pulled the tray on top of her lap.

“Thanks for the food,” Yuki said, placing her hands together in prayer. Padimate stood there watching her in a bewildered daze.

His eyes had rounded with surprise the first time he saw her pray before her meal, but he seemed to have grown accustomed to it. Yuki ate with gusto. She hadn’t moved much since her fever, causing her to lose a significant amount of muscle and fat.

I need stamina if I want to run away. I can’t stay unmoving and reluctant forever. No matter how much I worry and think about it, the day of my execution isn’t going to get postponed. In that case, I’ll fight back with everything I’ve got in me. I mean, I’m not even the actual Legendary Witch. It’s not even laughable to be killed for a nonsensical misunderstanding. The more Yuki thought about it, the angrier she became.

“Everything is all the perverted, lunatic Orga’s fault.”

What exactly does he want from an ignorant, powerless, weak little girl?

Yuki suddenly felt those light-blue eyes on her.

“…You too. Are you actually just bored?” she asked Padimate.

He told her he was in charge of governing Cele. Yuki wondered whether it was okay to think of Aridol’s governors in the same manner as Japan’s. Yuki waited a long time for him to answer her, but he didn’t. She sighed.

“…Fine, be that way. I guess it’s okay for me to think you’re bored and have too much time on your hands?” Yuki said, and then it dawned on her.

Now that I think about it, I don’t know his name. We haven’t even introduced ourselves.

Yuki looked up at the man she constantly referred to as the man with glass marble-like eyes.

“Hey, my name is Yuki Kasuga. What’s your name?”

Yuki couldn’t tell what he was thinking when her eyes met his.

“…Vul Padimate Maruk,” he muttered.

She hadn’t expected an answer, so she was shocked he said something.

“Ul…pa…what? What should I call you?” Yuki asked after stammering out his name. The foreign name didn’t sound close to anything she knew in Japanese or English.

“Padi is acceptable.”

“Padi. Padi. Padi,” Yuki repeated. She gazed into Padi’s eyes. “Hey, Padi? I’m just curious, but why are Witches executed?”

“……”

The silent treatment, huh?

Yuki once learned from Ain that there was a large-scale Witch Hunt in the past. She forgot to ask the reason at the time and sighed over not knowing now. She gazed out the balcony window and listened to the sound of the wind.

“…Witches bring insanity,” Padi’s hollow voice rode on the wind and reached Yuki’s ears. Surprised, she glanced over at him—his gaze was unfocused. “They claimed Witches drive people to madness.”

The first time Yuki saw Padimate she thought he was terribly devoid of anything. As she gradually came to know him, she found he was a very kind person.

But he’s still devoid of emotion. Lifeless—that word fits him best.

“…I don’t know if that is really true though.”

Oh, he even gave his own opinion on the topic! Yuki stared at Padimate. What exactly does a person with a doll-like face that never changes expression think about? What exactly made him this way? I kind of want to know.

Padimate stared at Yuki for a while before opening his mouth. “Are you…not afraid?”

“Huh? …Afraid of what?”

Padimate blinked several times. He cocked his head to the side as if to say he thought something was out of place with her answer. “Are you not afraid of me? Are you not afraid of your own mortality—of being executed?”

Yuki was the one shocked by the unexpected question this time. “I’m not particularly scared of you, Padi. It’s true I thought you were a terrible person at first, but I don’t think so now. I mean, you bring me my meals and lack any real rancor toward me. No, I blame that nut Orga for my predicament,” she said, smiling at Padimate. “As for the execution…yeah…”

Her words trailed off.

To be honest, I’m uneasy. I’m uneasy, anxious, and scared. Why must I have this fate? Why did I even come to this world in the first place? My indescribable loneliness, the existence or nonexistence of my necessity to others, the sheer extent of meaninglessness I feel—I’m scared, so scared of these things I can’t stand it.

But…if I think being executed is my fate—if I make myself believe that—I can’t seem to hate it. I’m scared of dying. So horrified and scared I want to flee. But what if my dying like this will bring peace to this war-torn world? Thinking my death might mean something positive for this world…I just don’t know how to fight it anymore.

“…I wonder whether my dying will save anyone,” Yuki said, wondering whether that was the answer he sought from her.

“I’ll happily lay down my life and die if my dying means someone somewhere will be saved,” Yuki confided, smiling at his lifeless eyes. She wasn’t confident her smile was convincing.

I’m lying. Obviously I’m scared. She wanted to cry.

 

***

YUKI gazed at the night sky from the tower’s balcony. Watching as the sliver of a moon gradually disappeared, helplessness weighed heavily on her. Starlight dominated the night’s sky—the moon nearly gone from her sight. Truly the scene before her was a vision of beauty. A sight she would be able to see at home in only the most remote of locations.

Yuki glanced over her shoulder when she heard a knock. The door opened without waiting for a response. Padimate stood in the doorway with a tray.

“…Your food.” Padimate didn’t say anything else before placing the tray on the table beside the bed.

“Thank you,” Yuki responded, though she didn’t feel like rushing over to eat at the moment.

“……”

Silence fell over the room. The white lace curtains fluttered in the occasional breeze through the open balcony door.

The stars are twinkling, Yuki thought, placing her arms on the railing and gazing up at the night sky. She sensed something stir behind her and looked back. Padimate had come to the center of the room and stared at her.

“I was looking at the stars. Want to join me?”

Padimate walked right over and stood beside her on the balcony. She glanced at him and saw him staring at the night sky.

Yuki returned her attention to the sky. She didn’t know much about the constellations on Earth, so she wasn’t sure what differences existed among the stars in Japan and the stars she saw in Aridol.

But stars actually exist here and don’t look much different aside from a few extra colors and the brightness.

“What a curious thing,” Yuki mumbled quietly to herself.

“…Hey, did you know,” Padimate’s eyes turned toward Yuki as she spoke, “that the light we see coming from these stars right now is actually light from a long, long time ago?”

Yuki looked at Padimate, but he just blinked several times as if to say he didn’t comprehend what she was saying.

“They say the light we see right now took years to reach our skies,” Yuki grinned and looked back at the stars. “That’s why there’s a chance some of the light we see in this vast starry sky may come from stars that have long since vanished.”

They continue twinkling brighter than ever now that they’re gone.

“I’m kinda envious of the stars. Hahaha,” Yuki laughed, when a noticeably strong wind blew past them. Clad in only her nightgown made the night wind chilly enough to give her goose bumps.

“That was cold! …Guess I’ll eat.”

Yuki glanced at the glass-like eyes whose color she couldn’t see in the dark, when Padimate opened his mouth. “Don’t you want to look a little longer?”

He pulled the string on the cloak wrapped around his shoulders and placed it on Yuki. Gradually, the warmth soaked up by the cloak spread across her back.

“Th-Thanks.”

They gazed at the stars for a little while longer as night turned to day.

 

***

HOW much time had passed since Padimate left her room? Yuki didn’t know. She knew she had to think about how to escape, but her mind seemed to refuse thinking in the way she wanted.

Maybe I came to this world to become a living sacrifice? Yeah right, Yuki laughed at herself.

“The reason I’m in this world is because of Papa and Mama’s whim…or more like a conspiracy between them,” Yuki said, depressed with herself as she wrapped her arms around her legs. “That’s why, Yuki, you don’t have to die.”

“You can’t die. You shouldn’t die. You’re not supposed to die,” she repeated. Repeating those words more than she could count to convince herself, helped calm her a little.

Oh yeah, this happened once before.

Now it seemed like the distant past to Yuki, even though it wasn’t that long ago. She was thinking back to the night before they invaded Cele’s prison. Yuki calmed the sobbing Tita and went in her place.

I was desperate and gave in to self-abandonment to say something like, “It doesn’t matter if I die.” And yet I’m scared of dying now.

“Haha, I’m so weird,” Yuki laughed.

Why am I so contradictory?

It was true she thought she wouldn’t mind dying for someone else. It was also true she didn’t want to die.

“Aaaaaah, geez. I want to start over again from the beginning.”

I want to start over from the very first moment I came to this world. It’s almost nostalgic now. I want to do everything over again from the beginning—from the point I was saved by Luca, being brought to Adolunde’s castle, making a bonding contract with Luca while I hadn’t a clue about what was going on—all of it.

“But then again, depending on where I fall, I could end up homeless or sold somewhere…” Yuki thought it over.

“…I’ll pick you up.” Yuki recalled the words Luca said to her that night on the rooftop. “If you fall somewhere again, I’ll pick you up and make another contract with you.”

Suddenly, she started laughing freely without a hint of despair. Something warm filled her chest and spread through her.

“…Right.”

Luca will pick me up again. She felt as if her clamoring heart was instantly relieved. He thinks if I’m lost I’ll end up somewhere near him again.

“I wonder if something poisoned me into thinking I had to give in,” she laughed.

I know, if I’m gonna die anyway, I should just leap with the intention to die again. And that way I can redo everything from the start. If I do that I can return to Adolunde Castle—to the place I know everyone is.

Yuki hopped off the bed and slowly walked. She quietly passed under the lace curtains and opened the door to the balcony. Her pure white dress billowed in the wind. The sun was no longer anywhere in sight and the depths of the sky were gradually turning a dark blue. The gradient orange of the sky was a beautiful sight to behold.

She placed her hands on the railing and looked down. She was familiar with this height.

It’s not much different from the height of our condo on the fourteenth floor in Tokyo.

The home she had lived her entire life felt nostalgic to her now. She got terribly dizzy looking down when her parents carried her out onto their balcony for the first time.

Now Yuki was locked up in the highest part of a tower with nothing to do but gaze upon the outside world.

I felt like I was Rapunzel.

“Who’s Rapunzel?” she mocked herself.

Yuki’s prince wouldn’t come to the bottom of this tower for her.

Because…

“Upsy-daisy,” Yuki said as she placed her hands on the railing to stabilize herself.

“My prince is a sourpuss with a dual personality after all!”

Yuki smiled dryly when she remembered the blinding smile he flashed her when they first met.

“I have to be the one to go and meet that twisted prince of mine.” She put her other foot on the railing and sat down with her legs dangling off the side of the balcony. Her hands were covered in sweat as she squeezed the railing.

Don’t look down. If you look down your resolve will flitter away.

Yuki took two-deep breaths then pushed off the railing with both hands. She floated airily into the sky, which was directly followed by a sharp impact to her body.