Chapter 9

 

 

 

Chapter 9

 

ONCE Rifaenotis woke up, he became incredibly talkative, distracting Yuki from his previous zombie-like state. They chatted about various topics as they gradually devoured the food on the table.

“So? Why are there bags under your eyes?” Est asked, pointing at Rifae’s face.

“Ah, that’s because I talked to him late—”

“You know about my nocturnal habits,” Rifae said over Yuki. Catching her glance, he winked at her.

“You’re getting on in age, so you need to quit staying up late and go to bed early!”

“I told you not to mention my age. I wouldn’t have bags under my eyes and have skin issues if you let me sleep in past noon, Est.”

“You’ll start to mold if you don’t get out in the sun more.”

“Mold doesn’t grow on people,” Rifae pouted. Silence suddenly filled the room.

“You were probably just wasting your time looking for someone again anyway.”

“……”

Yuki felt left out by the abrupt silence.

He’s looking for someone? She recalled the shadowy figure reflected in the crystal sitting on top of Rifae’s table last night. Was that the person he’s looking for? But what’s with the awkwardness between them?

Sparks seemed to fly in the silence—sparks sent by Est. Rifaenotis kept eating as if nothing happened.

“Est, we have a guest over right now.”

“…I’m still mad, you know?”

The words Yuki heard when she first arrived at Rifae’s house had her look at Est. Noticing her eyes on him, he cringed and forced the rest of his food into his mouth and shoved from the table.

“…You can leave the dishes on the table,” he said to Yuki, walking to the front door.

“Est.”

“I’m going to go cool my head.” Est grabbed a toolbox near the door and left.

Yuki and Rifae stared at the door after it shut. Rifae’s sigh finally broke their silence and lightened the mood.

“Sorry about that.”

“Don’t be.”

Were they fighting about Rifae looking for someone?

“He’s at a difficult age.”

“What?”

Rifae examined Yuki with scrutinizing eyes, “Are you younger than Est?”

“No, I’m a year older.”

“Is that so?” Rifae’s calming expression reminded Yuki of someone.

His smile is similar to Papa’s. Yuki’s father—the kind man who chucked her from the balcony of their condo on the fourteenth floor. Oh yeah, he’s thirty-five so he’s close in age to Papa… But maybe the two-year difference between them makes this much of a difference in personality.

Yuki glanced at Rifae silently eating his porridge.

“What caused your fight in the first place?”

His head jerked up.

Ah, that might have been rude to ask.

She only realized she was prying once the words were out her mouth. She cursed herself and looked at Rifae. A doleful smile touched his lips.

“You know what? I don’t really know why either.”

“You don’t know?”

“As Est mentioned, I’m searching for a certain person. And then Est suddenly asked me who they are.”

“I see.”

“He got mad when I said I can’t tell him who... I’m honestly not sure what to do,” he confessed.

Rifae had every right to be angry at Est for getting mad at him for no reason, but Yuki thought it was probably either his personality or age keeping him from snapping back.

“I never once thought I was looking,” Rifae muttered and shook his head. “I think I didn’t want to use the words searching or looking.”

I don’t get it.

Rifae chuckled, seeing through her confusion. “Saying I’m looking for them acknowledges they are no longer around. You look for someone when you can’t find them—when they are gone. But I just didn’t want to accept the fact that person isn’t here anymore. Even now…I hate acknowledging they aren’t here.”

…What a forlorn smile.

Rifae had put a lid on what he didn’t want to accept. Despite knowing he merely put a lid over the truth, he avoided facing it. It was inevitable to want to avoid facing something that hurt.

But something doesn’t seem right here. I understand if Est had told him to face reality. But he didn’t seem angry over the fact Rifae is wasting his time looking for someone.

Yuki had only spoken in-depth with Est for the first time that morning, but she gleaned his kindness from how he treated her the past two days. He nagged Rifae over small things, but still looked after him. The days they spent together over the past five years must have always been that way.

They lived a peaceful life together. Rifae admitted they rarely got involved with the outside world. This was an isolated world made up of just the two of them. Inside that small world, Rifae was consumed by his painful past memories. Yuki caught onto his deep pain immediately and easily—there was no way Est hadn’t.

…Is he jealous? Yuki’s heart ached.

“Oh, dear me, I rattled on about something weird again. You truly are a strange girl, Yuki.” Rifae finished off his cup of water.

“…It’s probably, and I mean probably?” Yuki started, earnestly looking at Rifae. The smile fell from his face. “I think he’s probably worried about you.”

“Worried? …Why would worry make him mad?”

“Because…hm…no matter how much he worries about you, you don’t change. Like he’s probably agitated he can’t do anything for you.”

“Agitated…”

Yuki didn’t believe she could fix the relationship between two people who had been together for five years when she only just met them, but she hoped she could help them see what they couldn’t on their own.

“I wonder if I made Est worry about me.”

“Probably, but I can’t say for sure,” Yuki commented. He was too deep in thought to hear her.

“…For such a long time?”

Yuki didn’t know their past. She didn’t know just how long Rifaenotis had been searching for someone or how long since Est realized it.

Rifae abruptly stood from his chair. The feet clattered across the floor. The cornered-look on his face was painful to watch.

“I’ll go apologize,” he said, leaving through the door Est had.

“What?” Yuki could only watch him leave in silence.

…I wonder if it was okay for me to get involved like that. She sighed a few minutes after the door had shut. Aren’t they both too trusting of me?

The owners of the house had left a girl they picked up in the middle of nowhere alone in their house with all their possessions.

“It’s not like I’m going to do anything to them or their stuff, but still. It’s great if they make up, but I worry about them with future visitors…” Yuki said to the empty room and slurped her slightly chilled porridge.