Chapter 18
Chapter 18
PASCH stood in the same position Yuki saw him in through the window. A subtle energy lingered about the moonlit woods, engendering an aura that screamed not to approach. The ginormous tree looming over Pasch swayed loudly in the wind, its branches scratching against each other.
“…What are you looking at?” Yuki asked quietly as she cautiously approached him.
Startled, he spun around wide eyed. A relieved sigh left him upon confirming it was Yuki. “What the heck? Where did you come from?”
“Sorry for surprising you.”
“Nah, you didn’t.”
Silence fell between them as neither moved to say more.
What should I talk about?
Despite all her courage and ability to associate with him normally, the fear of what he did burned like molten rock deep within her core. The hatred in his ultramarine eyes as he cursed her and told her to die repeatedly until he dragged her to the stake still haunted her dreams. The source of her nightmares outside of Orga stood right beside her now.
“…I was wondering where they go.”
“Where who goes?” Yuki asked, his words surprising her.
“I was contemplating where people go when they die. Foolish, right?” he said sardonically. “Even if I find the answer, it’s not like I can do anything for those who have died.”
He glanced at Yuki and muttered, “You look alike…. A child who died recently—no—a child I killed looked a lot like you. I can’t really put my finger on why. Maybe it’s the aura around you?” Pain twisted his expression. The child he spoke of was Yuki herself.
What does he mean he killed me?
Pasch hadn’t killed her though he dragged her to the stake to be executed. Vivi had rescued her and handled the rest. So why did he think he killed her? Yuki’s heart pounded painfully in her ears; her hands coated with sweat at the memory.
“She really was just a child. Didn’t know anything more than the brats here. The only difference between her and them was her audacity and obstinacy.”
Then why?
“…Why did you kill her?” The words were out Yuki’s mouth before she could take them back. Pasch’s head jerked toward her.
Fury took over his features as he glared at her and weakly groaned, “The war was supposed to end with her death.”
He’s saying it again.
Die for your country. Die for your people. Those were the words he spat at her in the tower. But in all her days confined to the tower waiting for death, not once had she come to an answer of how her death would save anyone.
“The war will end with a child’s death?”
“It was supposed to! Because she was the sole…!” Pasch trailed off, not wanting to finish.
Should Japan go to war again, could it be brought to an end with someone’s death? Maybe the emperor’s or the prime minister’s would hold some value, but an unrelated civilian? A child’s? There’s a reason they didn’t kill the emperor in the last major war.
I was supposed to be killed as the Legendary Witch though. Would the war have actually ended if the Witch died?
Pasch stared at Yuki for a few long minutes before turning his face away. “I was told they would end the war if we killed her.”
Who told him?
The first person who came to mind was Luca’s older, conniving brother sitting on the throne in Adolunde. With the king stepping down from power, he now held all the power of their kingdom. Orga—the man who captured Yuki, slowly burned a flower into her chest with a hot iron rod, and put her in the hands of Maruk to be executed. Pain seared through her chest. She clenched the blanket wrapped around her shoulders and took slow breaths to stop from having a panic attack.
“When I first saw you, I thought she had come back to life to exact revenge on me.”
“Revenge?” Her eyes met his. Torment warped his handsome features as a fury close to bloodlust simmered under his ultramarine eyes.
What’s wrong?
“Your eyes are just like hers. Well, granted the color is drastically different, but the iris is similar and you share the same unique aura.”
Pasch suddenly grabbed her hand and yanked her with his full force.
“…Ow!”
Her shoulder banged against the tree trunk several times her size. As soon as pain registered in her, his threatening eyes locked on hers and his other arm reached out to seize her. Wanting to escape, she stepped back, but the thick tree trunk dug into her back, sealing her escape. A hand placed on each side of her face stopped her struggle to get away before it was too late. Inevitably, their position forced them to lock eyes.
“Those are the eyes. That’s the face that wordlessly blames me. Who are you?”
Vivi’s curse had turned her eyes from violet to black. How could he see through it?
“I am…Yuki. A woman traveling with the doctor Vigo and his Knight,” she squeezed out. She didn’t understand what was going on, but firmly stared back. The beastly glint in his eyes carefully watched Yuki like a predator assessing his prey.
“The brat I killed had the same name.”
Yuki feigned ignorance and countered him with indifference, “Is that so? Aren’t you just confusing us because we share the same name?”
“Don’t screw around! You came to kill me, didn’t you?! I berated you into dying for the country and then had you executed! Yet nothing has changed! The war didn’t end as promised! You must despise me! Aren’t you full of hatred for the man who killed you?!” he shouted.
Yuki flinched. She could only watch on as he painfully yelled at her. Wasn’t he the one who hated her? He kept telling her to die. He drugged her and brought her to the stake. Why then, did regret ooze from his every word?
“What did you come here for? I know you hate me!” The foul words he flung at her didn’t match his expression. The pathetic desperation warping his face stung at her heart—she pitied the man who told her to die. “What did you come for…?”
The ferocity he once had left, and only a plea of desperation remained. “Didn’t you come to kill me? If you want to kill me, then do it…. Don’t take the little ones away in my place. I don’t want to see anyone die anymore.”
His words were like knives thrust into her heart. Tears threatened to spill from her rounded eyes. She finally understood. She understood the inexplicable things that took place in the tower, the meaning behind his words that ignorance is bliss, why he told her to die for her country, and now…why he told her to kill him.
They’re important to him. Maruk, Rvydom that has become Maruk’s territory, the children in the orphanage. And most likely every citizen in Rvydom.
Realizing his struggle suddenly turned an inhumane monster from her nightmares into a kind young man. Happy that he suffered on her half and didn’t just hate her, she stretched out her hands to him as he fought to endure his tumult of feelings and tightly embraced him.
“Thank you!”
“Wha--! Are you doing?!”
Yuki wrapped her arms around his back before he could pull away. He tugged on her arms, but she only tightened her grip.
“Quit it,” he breathed beside her ear, but she didn’t loosen her grip.
“You’re so kind, Pasch!”
She finally understood why everyone called him by a cute nickname instead of his full name. He groaned, but that didn’t stop her.
“Don’t worry. I’m not the grim reaper. I won’t kill anyone! But I’m still happy.” Unsure of how to convey the joy she felt, her happiness took the form of a brilliant smile that put the moonlight to shame.
“GAAAH! Let go! What the heck are you doing?!” Taking advantage of the momentary lax in her grip, he pried her arms off him and stared at her in exasperation.
“She’s not dead.”
“Huh?”
“Like I said, that girl isn’t dead. She’s alive. She’s alive and understands how you feel.”
Having been completely defanged by Yuki’s behavior, he snorted at her seriousness. “I don’t need your pathetic attempt at comfort.”
“I’m not trying to comfort you though. It’s the truth after all. She understands now that you did everything for your country and because you care for the people. She neither loathes you nor wants to take your life.”
“Nobles don’t know anything. They don’t even know it’s a crime not to know. Ignorance is bliss.”
Pasch had said that to her in the tower and Rifaenotis had mirrored his words when he found her in the forest.
I’m glad to have learned the truth and to have gotten rid of a piece of my ignorance, Rifae.
A grin made its way to her face. Nothing left to say, Pasch watched her with a frown. His face said it all—he didn’t believe a single word she said.
“Aw, you don’t believe me, do you? Fine, I’ll come to see you again when I’m back to the way I should be.”
Yes, once I return to my true looks I will tell him again that I’m alive and well. I’m kind of excited to think what expression I’ll get out of him.
“So won’t you tell me your name this time?”
“Back the way you should be? This time?” he asked, suspicious. Despite his doubts, her grin wore him down. With a resigned sigh, he answered, “Mano Paschwell Maruk.”