Chapter 40

 

 

 

Chapter 40

 

AWAKING from fainting always comes with an abrupt shock to the brain and body. A lost grip on reality, and the five senses rushing back all at once add to the shock. Extremities are chilled from a lack of circulating blood and the body trembles relentlessly. It takes a few minutes for the person who blacked out to register what happened. Why were they laying on the floor shaking? What was the throbbing sensation in their head?

“Nngh?”

Yuki woke up alarmed by the softness of a bed—she expected to find herself on the washhouse’s stone floor. Fingers shaking and cold from passing out, she groped around to make sure her sense of touch still worked.

Her eyes snapped open to see a ceiling instead of the sky. The unfamiliarity of the ceiling told her she wasn’t in the room allotted to her in Fol Castle. Slowly, she sat up, her hair tumbling down her shoulders—someone had let it out of the ponytail. She racked her dazed mind to remember what happened.

What happened after I blacked out? She remembered up until she lost consciousness. That’s weird, I can’t remember. Trying to recall what happened led only to a painful, blackness left by passing out.

“Yuki, you fainted in the washhouse.”

“Selena?”

Selena sat at the foot of her bed. “You should watch the way you groan and moan when you first wake up. You sounded like an old lady,” Selena joked and then continued on a serious note, “Vigo was here a little while ago. He said you passed out from overexertion.”

“Overexertion…”

“Well, a piece of it is definitely you working yourself ragged, but the greater fault lies with Vigo. He acts like it has nothing to do with him too.” Selena stroked Yuki’s hair and pushed a lock behind her ears.

“What do you mean the greater fault is Vigo’s?”

“Mm, the easiest explanation is he’s making you do all the work, Yuki.”

“What’s wrong with that? I’m the one who asked for this! He’s not at fault!”

They stayed longer in Fol because of her selfish request. Despite knowing Vigo had business in the capital, Yuki pled with them to adjust their plans to her whims. She kept telling herself she had to work ten times as hard to make up for it.

“…Oh gosh. Why must you be so lovable?” Selena crooned, running her hands through Yuki’s hair. “Yuki, aren’t you hopelessly wrestling with your desire to go to the capital to see your Knight?”

Those few nonchalant words brought all of Yuki’s tension back and knotted her stomach. Her hands curled around the blanket and squeezed.

Don’t say that to me.

She had to constantly chant not to think about Luca. The more her thoughts went to him, the more apprehension weighed on her urge to rush to his side. A desire to run off to the capital abandoning the patients who smiled at her and the soldiers who did well by her surged through her with every thought about Luca.

Luca, her precious Violet Knight who was locked away somewhere like a common thief in a dungeon. Luca, the man whose thoughts and actions she could never read. Luca, the only friend she had in this world who she had turned her back on and ran from. Luca, the prince everyone said hadn’t awakened from sleep for months.

Don’t force me to think about him. Anxiety crushed her heart and her with it. She’d lose her ability to cope if she thought of him.

“You should just go to him.”

“…I can’t…not yet.” Her nails pierced through the thin blanket. She tried to unlatch her hands, but they were shaking too hard to loosen.

I can’t.

Yuki came to Aridol looking like a child and acting like one. She didn’t know why she came to their world. Aside from being from another world, she didn’t know what she was or why she possessed violet eyes. She had neither a place to live nor a way to return home. The patients and soldiers put their wholehearted trust in her when she had nothing. How could she toss them aside?

But her thoughts were an excuse. More than anything else, she was afraid.

How many months had passed since she ran from Luca into the forest where the boy was killed and Orga captured her? The people she wanted to reunite with may have forgotten about her since then. They might not have had the time to think about her. Or maybe they hated her for what she did.

What if she had taken too long to come to the capital and they shooed her away at the gates? What if they said she didn’t matter to them? What bonds did they really have? What did they actually know about each other? Yuki was too afraid to take action when she thought of all the things that could go wrong.

I’m awful…I’m full of excuses… I keep saying I can’t go because of this person or another or an obstacle gets in my way, but in the end aren’t I just protecting myself by not going? The realization was agonizing and sent her spiraling down the abyss of depression.

“You should just go,” Selena repeated. Yuki shook her head and kept her eyes trained on the blanket.

I want to see him. But I don’t want to see him.

Selena sighed beside her. It was a conflicted sigh. Yuki waited for her to say something. “You know, Vigo said he has something to discuss with you as a reward for all your hard work… He should drop by soon,” Selena said in a dreadfully kind voice. The way she stroked Yuki’s hair was kind too, causing Yuki to hate herself further for giving in to her kindness.

“You have been working yourself to death to see your Knight, and I don’t even know when you started. But I do know you have been doing your best for his sake. Even oblivious Vigo knows… You can proudly go find your Knight now,” Selena announced, as though she had seen through Yuki’s thoughts. Yuki jerked her head toward her.

“I…haven’t been doing my best,” she said in a ghost of a voice.

“That’s not true,” she consoled, patting the top of her head.

“I only ever think of myself,” her barely audible objection was erased by the creak of the opening door.

Vigo entered the room and gave her a deal she couldn’t refuse.

***

SELENA watched Yuki gallop away from Fol Castle on her horse. Once she was out of sight, she turned to her Master.

“Yuki was in a real rush to leave. I wonder if you had something to do with that, Vigo.” Selena smiled at him. He frowned and groaned. “Her Knight is in quite the predicament too. For him to have been in a state of sleep for months on end…was he actually placed under a curse?” she guessed. Vigo stayed silent, a tortured look on his face.

“What? Beating yourself up now?” she teased. He swiveled around to glare at her—she had hit a sore spot. Vigo only gave Yuki ten days.

***

“YOU have ten days,” Vigo told her when the Selena left the room.

“What?” Yuki asked from bed.

“I’ll only wait for you for ten days. Bring your Knight back within that time.”

“I will!” Yuki answered without hesitation. She didn’t have time to waste wallowing in ifs and buts. She leapt out of bed and rushed to make the bare minimum preparations as fast as she could.

***

“TEN days is the limit,” Vigo confessed, tugging on his thick beard. “I don’t mind if I’m called heartless and cruel for this…”

Oh dear.

“No matter how I calculated the numbers, ten days came out as the max. No, when I took into consideration the possibility of her coming back late, I couldn’t let her have the real limit.” Vigo dropped his gaze to his folded arms. “However much medicine we have, it means nothing without her power. We won’t be able save them all. I’m not even sure we can save ten percent without her. If the little lady disappears from us now, the people infected with the Ten Day Fever in Fol will most likely die without her.”

A self-derisive smile crossed his sunken face. “I’m a doctor. I can’t think of anything aside from saving patients. I’m using a foolish little girl, knowing her power is likely chiseling away at her very life. Even if she turns out to be Rvydom’s princess, I would use Rvydom’s princess as a tool to save lives.”

Vigo was being uncharacteristically garrulous. Did he just want to get it off his chest? Or was this his attempt at repentance? Selena neither knew nor cared.

“I wanted to remain disconnected from Fol. I have to save people once I get involved. The nature of a doctor is coming back to bite me…. In the first place, I have no right to keep her restrained here or to set a limit for how long she can go to the capital. Rifaenotis and Galian entrusted her into my care and this is the result. I’m using her as a witch-cursed tool,” he laughed dryly. It was an eerily hallow laugh.

“…I’m fortunate no one has told her about her ability or status…. Do you hold me in disdain now?” Vigo spat, blankly looking nowhere in particular.

What a cruel man. Did he believe he was hurting Selena with what he said? He wouldn’t look her in the eyes. He really is sly.

Did he think she was a woman who could listen to him bare his heart to her and not feel something? Or was this all a part of some perfectly calculated plan?

Unlikely. Vigo isn’t the type to manipulate people.

Knowing this awkward man couldn’t do something as skillful as manipulate with false emotions was exactly why her heart ached for him. He was exposing the darkness he kept hidden inside. A smile touched her face at his forlorn state. A smile wasn’t enough, laughter shook her shoulders.

“I’m your Knight.”

The laughter in her voice must have seemed odd to him, because Vigo finally glanced over at her.

“I’ll at least put my opinion out there, but I won’t reject your opinion. Nor do I ever want to go against your orders.” Vigo remained unblinking, so she continued, “I love Yuki, you know? She’s the spitting image of Lord Cahn with her honesty, sincerity, and kindness. She’s the most precious and adorable thing. I love her.”

Silence answered her in the room. Inside the freezing room only Yuki’s bed seemed to give off warmth—just like the coldness of their lives.

“I love her, but that doesn’t matter. I won’t blame you if your actions lead to her death. Even if Yuki turns out to truly be our princess.”

“…That’s a horrible thing to say.”

“Is it? Isn’t that how it is between Knight and Master? I am your sword and your shield.” Vigo finally looked her in the eyes and she smiled. “And I am a dog whose Master’s orders are absolute. At least that’s how it is for me.”

Vigo’s eyes widened and he dropped his gaze from hers again.

Mad dog…eh?

It had been a long time since she last referred to herself as a dog. Selena didn’t hate being called a dog. In all actuality, she used to take pride in it.

Since when? Since when did the word ‘dog’ start to take on various meanings? Since when did I start hating being called one? She reflected on the sentiment for a while until she realized it was a pointless venture and cast away the thought.

The descending sun had taken on an orange hue. The light did nothing for the two of them in the cold room—it only seemed to shine on the now empty bed whose owner had brought Selena such warmth and joy.

“…I’m a loyal dog,” she whispered, making excuses to no one.