The Rooftop — Again!

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CHAPTER 38: THE ROOFTOP AGAIN

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I went to the roof on Tuesday night.

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I wasn't supposed to. The school was closed. The gate was locked. But there was a way in through the maintenance shed, and I had noticed it weeks ago, and I had never used it until now.

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I climbed the stairs and opened the door and stepped out into the cold.

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Charlotte was there.

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She was sitting against the water tank with her knees pulled up and her arms wrapped around them. She didn't look at me when I walked out.

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"I thought you didn't come here," I said.

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"I didn't."

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"Then why are you here?"

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She didn't answer.

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I sat down next to her.

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We didn't say anything for a long time.

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The city lights were on. The trains were running. The world was continuing.

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"I saw you at the art room," she said.

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"You were watching."

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"I'm always watching."

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"That's what I do."

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"No. That's what I do. You're the one who notices."

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I looked at her.

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"What's the difference?"

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"You notice things. I watch people. There's a difference."

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"What's the difference?"

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Charlotte looked at the city.

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"Noticing is passive," she said. "You see things without trying. Watching is active. You choose to look. You choose to keep looking."

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"Why do you keep looking?"

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She was quiet for a moment.

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"Because if I stop," she said, "I have to think about myself."

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I didn't say anything.

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"That's why I sit at the convenience store at eleven at night," she said. "That's why I wait at the gate after school. That's why I follow you around. Because if I'm watching someone else, I don't have to look at me."

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She looked at me.

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"You're the same," she said. "You just don't admit it."

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We sat there for an hour.

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At some point, she leaned against my shoulder. Not in a romantic way. In a tired way. In a way that said she had been sitting up straight for too long and needed to rest.

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I didn't move.

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I didn't want to wake her.

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I didn't want to move.

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She fell asleep.

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I sat there with her head on my shoulder and the city lights in front of me and the cold air on my face and did not move for a long time.

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She woke up an hour later.

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She sat up quickly. She looked around. She realized where she was.

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"Sorry," she said.

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"It's fine."

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"I didn't mean to—"

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"It's fine."

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She looked at me. Her face was flushed. Just a little.

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"You didn't move," she said.

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"No."

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"Why not?"

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"Because you were sleeping."

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She stared at me for a long moment.

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"You're strange," she said.

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"You keep saying that."

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"Because it keeps being true."

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She stood up.

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"I should go," she said.

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"Okay."

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She walked to the door.

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She stopped with her hand on the handle.

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"Makoto."

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"Yeah?"

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"Don't tell anyone I was here."

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"I won't."

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She looked at me.

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"You don't tell anyone anything," she said. "That's why people tell you things."

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She opened the door and disappeared down the stairs.

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I stayed on the roof.

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I didn't know what she meant.

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But I noticed.

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She had told me something true.

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And I had listened. 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UJSmoKnRU

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