Chapter 76 – It visits the afterlife (V)

“It greets Thia.”

“Thia greets It.”

“Does Thia have any questions for It?”

“I do not. Does It have any questions for Thia?”

“It praises Thia’s previous advice on gifts.”

“I accept the premise. Continue.”

“It asks Thia for more recommendations on presents.”

“It came to the right person. I am a master on all things gifts.”

“It waits for advice.”

“Spoons.”

“Understood.”

“Everybody loves spoons.”

“Understood.”

“Spoons are the bowls of the utensil world, just as bowls are the swords of kitchenware.”

“Understood. Everybody loves swords.”

“Correct. It learns quickly.”

♢♢♢

“Aww! Thanks, Thia! You’re so gifty lately. What’s the occasion?”

“There is no special event. It simply wanted to give Amy spoons.”

“You’re so cute! I love the spoons. They’re very small. Very round. Very nice. Can hold so many things.”

“It confirms: everybody loves spoons.”

“Spoons are great. Spoons from Thia are extra great!”

“It is happy that Amy is happy.”

“Hehe. Love you.”

“It accepts the premise. Continue.”

“After we play dishes?”

“Understood. It will take drying duty.”

 

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Chapter 77 – Mrrrau and Amy

“Meow.”

“Oh hey, Mrowmers! It’s rare for you to come to me first. What’s up?”

“…”

“Aww. Are you missing Thia?”

“Meow.”

“Aww. Who’s a good kitty kitty?”

“Mrrrau.”

“That’s right! You are!”

“…”

“Okay. Let’s go get you fed and watered.”

“Meow.”

“…”

“…”

“Are you not going to eat?”

“Meow.”

“Hmm. Okay. Give me a second, Fussybutts. I think I know what’s up. You little tuna stick crack addict, you.”

“…”

“Oh wow, I sure am busy. Time to sit on the couch for just a little bit to unwind before getting back to my super busy work that is super busy. Oh boy, I sure hope nobody imprisons me when I’m so busy.”

“…”

“E-gads! What’s this? I’m suddenly stuck in cat prison? Oh no! Whatever shall I do?”

“Meow.”

“Meowmeowkins, could your supreme self please release me from cat prison?”

“Meow.”

“How about if I give you ten chin scritchy scratchies?”

“…”

“Hah… Don’t just immediately leave.”

“Meow.”

“Get back here and I’ll give you snackies.”

“Meow.”

“You’re so cute, but you’re so mean to me. What’ll we do with you, Kittykoo?”

“Meow.”

“Okay, just have your snackies.”

“…”

“Sneaky sneaky pet pet pretty kitty~”

“Meow.”

“Turns into a slinky and avoids me kitty~”

“Meow.”

“Eats up all the tuna, what a happy kitty~”

“Meow.”

“Runs away and hides, what a tricky kitty~”

“Meow.”

“Hah… I just want to love you. Why do you avoid me?”

“Meow.”

“Alright, I’m going back to work. Meow if you need something.”

“Meow.”

♢♢♢

“Meow.”

“Oh hi, kitty!”

“…”

“Oh. Okay. Bye, kitty.”

♢♢♢

“Meow.”

“…”

“…”

“Damn it. Okay. Bye, kitty.”

♢♢♢

“Meow.”

“You’re playing with my heart strings, Mr. Magoo. You keep coming to cuddle for 30 seconds and then running away. Who taught you that push-pull technique? Have you been watching Ellie’s dramas?”

“Meow.”

“Hah… Bye, kitty.”

♢♢♢

“Meow.”

“Every time I get excited that you’re coming for snuggles, it always ends in depression.”

“Meow.”

“I really shouldn’t let myself get excited every time you say hi.”

“Meow.”

“But I still get excited anyway, because you’re such a cutie patootie.”

“Meow.”

“Hah… Bye, kitty.”

“…”

“It finds cats to be mysterious.”

“Thia!”

“Meow!”

“It greets Amy and Mrrrau.”

“Thia, why does David Meowie hate me so much?”

“Meow.”

“It translates: Amy is too warm.”

“Come with me, kitty. Let’s go play in the fridge.”

“It forbids It’s Wife from playing in the fridge.”

“Meowmeow, if I put an icepack on my lap, will you love me?”

“Meow.”

“. . .”

“Thia?”

“It creates Overall Benefit by maintaining silence.”

“Thia… what did Prince Purrfect say?”

“It reiterates.”

“Meow.”

“Oh, you captured Thia.”

“It requests assistance.”

“Hehe. Meowmers, Thia’s not stuck there with you… You’re stuck there with Thia. And therefore, me. Get ready for some scritchy scritchy petty petties.”

“Meow.”

“…Damn it. Bye, kitty.”

“It thanks It’s Wife for the rescue.”

“Hah…”

“It is continually impressed by Amy’s cat repellent abilities.”

“Hah…”