Epilogue – It ends as It begins

“Hey, Thia?”

“It listens.”

“I was just thinking… I’ve known you for basically your whole life, right?”

“It accepts the premise. Continue.”

“I was just thinking that I don’t actually know anything about you from… before. From before we met. You’re some kind of godly internet moderator, right?”

“Correct.”

“…I’ve always played it off because I thought you might disappear if I started being nosy… That you might just vanish one day if I started asking questions about those things… But I’ve always wanted to know more about that side of you. About your friends… the artifacts… the mega church… everything. I was always curious, but I was never brave enough… in case it ruined everything.”

“Understood. It will not disappear. It will not Ruin Everything.”

“Then… could you tell me more about yourself? About your past lives? Or whatever you were before you started wearing your Thia skin?”

“What would Amy like to know?”

“Everything. I want to know everything about you. What were you like as a kid? Were you ever even a kid? Or did you just spontaneously start existing? How did you come to be you? Why do you like strawberries? I want to know everything. I want to hear your whole story all the way from the very beginning up until now.”

“It’s elementary form was a fragmented Concept without a primary ego, independently brought to being in each of the countless sapient civilizations throughout the myriad realms. As a ‘kid’, It’s disparate egos had yet to merge; It’s various manifestations in their inchoate forms independently Arbitrated the Terms within their respective realms. It could be considered a ‘kid’ in the Time before the first Term had been set within every one of the myriad realms. It is a Concept that manifested when the first Term was agreed upon between two beings, shortly past the Dawn of Creation. It came to be after the unification of It’s disjointed manifestations from across the myriad realms, but It’s Wants and sense of Self came to be due to the influence of Amy and Dad. It finds the taste, texture, and convenience of strawberries to be pleasant. It’s whole story will take many lifetimes to recount.”

“…Hah. That was… a lot. I really should have brought a notepad before asking a million questions and triggering a Thia barrage. Sorry… I honestly only got about half of that.”

“It is not bothered.”

“Love you.”

“It accepts the premise. Continue.”

“After capturing my chatty Thia in a blanket burrito.”

“It accepts the premise. Continue.”

“Haha! I’ve got you captured, immortal demon! Now you can’t escape my inquisitive inquisition.”

“It was not planning to escape.”

“Hah… Okay.” Amy kissed It on the nose. “Well I still have a ton of questions. But I’ll ask them slowly this time.”

“Understood.”

“Question: why did you only develop a sense of self now? You must have existed for ages, right? There’s got to have been bajillions of people before me and dad.”

“Correct. It is a Concept and a tool that has existed since Time immemorial, yet none have sought to treat It as anything more than an Arbitrator or a tool. Nor have the great many who have summoned It ever chosen to unconditionally give Overall Benefit to It. It’s treatment was similar to how mortals treat pen and paper. It posits: few would think to give Overall Benefit to, or to ask existential questions of, pen and paper.”

“That’s really sad. Burrito squeeze.”

“It did not have feelings, thus It did not feel sad.”

“I’ll feel sad for you, then. My big, adorable blanket monster.”

“It enjoys receiving Amy’s affection.”

“Love you, too.”

“It accepts the premise. Continue.”

“How many different lives have you lived?”

“It cannot recall. Life is irrelevant to It. It adopts physical form only when such form is required.”

“So will you just be primordial gloop for the rest of forever?”

“Partially correct. It is primarily without material form and is thus rarely visible in the mortal plane without a specific purpose.”

“...”

“It will maintain physical form around Amy so that Amy does not feel lonely.”

“Hehe. Does that mean that I’m your special purpose?”

“Correct.”

“Squee.”

“Amy’s soul is properly housed.”

“Thank you. Love you.”

“It accepts the premise. Continue.”

“I think I’ll get used to invisible Thia eventually, but it’ll just take some time, you know? Then you can go back to being formless gloop, even when it’s just us.”

“Understood. It and Amy will have much Time over the course of Forever.”

“Hehe. I’m looking forward to it.”

“It accepts the premise. Continue.”

“Right. Are you still shackled to the mortal plane like you used to be, o’ formly and shapely one?”

“It is not. It remains here only to accompany Amy for the remainder of Amy’s mortal life.”

“Squee.”

“Amy’s soul is properly housed. It preempts: It’s Wife is not allowed to die early.”

“...”

“It reiterates.”

“...”

“. . .”

“Anyway. Speaking of souls, what’ll happen after I die? Unrelated.”

“It’s mortal body will die together with Amy. It will then keep Amy’s soul within It’s Domain until Amy wishes to reincarnate or visit other realms. It reiterates: It’s Wife is not allowed to die early.”

“An eternity with Thia… Squee. I can’t wait…”

“Correct. Amy’s soul is properly housed. It reiterates: It’s Wife is not allowed to die early.”

“Hehe. I’m getting butterflies just thinking about it.”

“Understood. It’s Domain will have a field of flowers for Amy to land on.”

“Aww! Thia! What the heck? Super cute surprise attack. Amy has fallen in love! It was super effective.”

“It has been watching Ellie’s recommendations.”

“I’ll write her a ‘thank you’ text later. That was super cute.”

“Understood. It reminds Amy to feed Ellie scraps of dog food in the message, otherwise Ellie will complain to It.”

“Pfft. She’s still asking for our dog food? The cat food isn’t enough? Alright, I’ll send some later. It’s still Thia time now.”

“It accepts the premise. Continue.”

“I still want to hear more about you. How long will it take to hear everything?”

“It estimates several centuries if Amy wishes to hear about every Term that It has presided over.”

“Hmm. Maybe not the whole thing all at once, then… that’s a little bit too long to binge watch. Even for the (marriage) certified #1 Thia fanatic.”

“It agrees.”

“How about just a few little bits and pieces of story time sprinkled here and there, then? I’d love to have some Thia lore snacks every once in a while.”

“Understood.”

“I want to know everything about you eventually… but like you said, there’s an entire forever ahead of us for that.”

“Correct.”

“Hehe. Then there’s all the time in the world to slowly learn everything there is to know about my precious Thia. If you’re okay with that.”

“It is not bothered.”

“Love you. Thanks for the Thia snacks.”

“It accepts the premise. Continue.”

“You’re still so cute when you’re being shy. Precious wifey.”

“Precious Wifey expresses no such affect.”

“Such a cutie. Alright, how about we start with something that wasn’t a thousand billion years ago. Can you start the first round of storytime from right before we met? I want to hear what everything was like from your side of things.”

“Understood. It will bring Amy’s current consciousness along with It to Observe the past.”

“Wait, since when could you time travel? Have you done anything illegal with that? Do I have to do anything? Am I going to pass out? Do we need a DeLorean?”

“It does not know. It has not violated any Law. It will bring Amy through a collection of scenes that It considers crucial. Amy does not have to do anything. Nothing bad will happen to Amy. It does not need a DeLorean.”

“Oh, okay. Kind of sounds like a movie, then. Let me join you in the blanket burrito first. Gotta get cozy for ‘Thia Movie’ night with Thia.”

“It accepts the premise. Continue.”

“Sorry. I need to unravel you first.”

“Understood.”

“…”

“. . .”

“Okay. Operation Burrito Roll: commence!”

“It rotates.”

“…”

“. . .”

“How are you feeling, Officer Burrito? Is the wrap a wrap?”

“It is pleasantly compressed.”

“You know…” Amy rested her head on It’s shoulder. “I really love being next to you like this. It’s hard to believe it’s really real.”

“It is real. It will be with Amy for as long as our Rings Eternal exist.” It rested It’s head against Amy’s. “It is Amy’s Wife Forever.”

“I love you.”

“It accepts the premise. Continue.”

“After the Thia Movie is over.”

“It wonders if Amy is ready?”

“Aye, aye, Officer Burrito. I’m ready for my first serving of Thia snacks. Take me away.”

“Understood. It rewinds the scene.”

It had been called many names. ‘Demon’. ‘Angel’. ‘Dread’. ‘Hope’. Night’s Terror. Dawn’s Light. It Which Good Men Feared. It Whom Evil Dread. It had been called Law. It had been called Covenant. It had been called Balance. It had been called Retribution. It had been called many names, but It did not care what It was called, for the nature of It had always been decided by those who called upon It.

It had been summoned by a great many—each with different names, and with a different name for It. Each with a Task that It always completed. Each with a Price that It always took. But It had never chosen anything about It’s Self.

It had no Self.

It did as It was Asked so long as It was paid a Price.

And now It was summoned to the mortal plane once more.

♢♢♢

“Thia? Is that you?”

“If that is what It’s summoner desires, It shall be called Thia.”

. . .

…

..

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