Bonus 1 - It reads an advertisement

“The Task and Price are Just. It obeys.”

“…?”

“It is Tasked by It’s Writer to inform Reader: ‘the Thia novel is now available for sale on Amazon in both eBook and paperback formats. Should Reader wish to own their own copy, Reader can click on the embedded hyperlink to proceed to the store page.’”

“Oh my god, is that Thia reading an advert? You do that too? That was an option this whole time?”

“Correct.”

“Be right back, hiring my wife for all future projects.”

“It accepts.”

“Squee. My very own custom Thia readouts.”

“Amy’s soul is properly housed. It will now continue reading the advertisement script.”

“Hehehe. Thia readouts…”

“It’s Writer would like to remind Reader to drink water, and to leave a review on Amazon if Reader has enjoyed the novel. It’s Writer posits: Readers benefit from drinking water; novels benefit from receiving reviews. It’s Writer thanks Reader and encourages Overall Benefit.”

“Don’t mind me, just saving up for Thia-ASMR.”

“It and Amy’s Everythings are coupled. No Price is needed for any Ask.”

“Squee.”

“It will now read Amy’s short bio.”

“Hah?”

“‘Amy McAllister is an author of comedic fantasy, most well-known for her New York Times Best-selling series, D—’”

“Hkkkhhhhh. Stop. Stop. Stop. It’s so embarrassing. I’m dying.”

“It is not embarrassed. Amy is not dying. It will continue.”

“Hhhhkkkkkkhhhhhhhh.”

“It continues: ‘Beyond comedic fantasy, Amy has written over two dozen standalone novels and short stories in various other genres, such as comedy, fantasy, and comedic *science* fantasy. And literary fiction (whatever that means).’”

“Oh my god, this is so cringey. Did I really write that?”

“Correct.”

“I'm being bullied.”

“Correct. It posits: Amy enjoys being bullied by It. It will continue creating Overall Benefit.”

“…”

“‘Amy is currently working alongside H—’”

“Hkkkhhhh, I give up. I give up. No Thia adverts. Thia-ASMR for wife ears only.”

“Understood.”

“…”

“. . .”

“...What did you understand from that?”

“. . .”

“...Thia?”

(“It loves Amy.”)

“Meep.”

(“It finds Amy to be more ticklish and bullyable from this distance.”)

“...Meep.”

(“Amy’s soul is squirmy but properly housed.”)

“…”

(“It reminds Amy to read Amy’s lines of the script.”)

“Meep. Bluh. Book. Amazon. Corporate shill—eek! Uh. Review good. Book. Thank—eeeeeek! Link below. Ahahhaaaah—stop that.”

“It is amused.”

“…”

“It wonders if Amy has been bullied enough?”

“Meep.”

“Understood. It will continue.”

“Love you.”

“It accepts the premise. Continue.”

“No you.”

(“Understood. It will continue—”)

“Eeek!”

 

---

 

Once again, thank you all for reading Thia. If you would like to get your very own paperback version (or eBook), they're officially available for purchase on Amazon.

Now... if you'll allow me this moment, I just need to gush a little bit about how super happy I am with how everything turned out! The physical version ended up being way nicer than I ever imagined it could be! It's so nice! It's been a month since I received the first proof, and I still get a little squee of joy in my soul every time I hold the book in my hands... the design is just so beautiful. Endless praise to Syrinq, the amazing artist who created the full spread cover art. Not only is the front illustration gorgeous, but the spine and back, as well, are so wonderfully thematic and pleasing to the eyes. ()

And the interior is also really satisfying! It's just so... readable. Which you might think is the bare minimum expectation for a book, but I think you'll see what I mean if you get a copy. It just flows and guides the eyes in such a logical way that, even as the author, reading it feels like an entirely new experience. As much as I adore eBooks and webnovels, the formatting in the paperback is like an art in itself.

Ah. It really brings me peace.

In any case, I'll stop talking now.

Do let me know what you think if you buy a copy, though. I'd be happy to hear your thoughts!

(And if you happen to have the time, a review would go a long way. As they say... books live and die on their reviews. Especially so on online vendors.)

But for now, that is all from me.

Thank you, once again, for all your kind words and support. It really does mean the world to me. Reading your comments and seeing how many people have been touched by this story is the greatest Overall Benefit an author could ask for.

You can look forward to another bonus chapter in several months... or maybe a year's time... whenever the sequel, Lulu, is completed.

But until then...

May you stay hydrated. May you be be Divine in all that you do. And may The Great Dream last Forever.

- cacto