Chapter 16: Fighting Poison with Poison

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Chapter 16: Fighting Poison with Poison

Lin You’s furious howl successfully startled Lu Yuan. Upon hearing it, Lu Yuan’s first thought wasn’t who had suddenly made the sound, but rather, how could anyone possibly dare to howl like that in Mu Yanxiao’s house?

Before Lu Yuan could even ask, Mu Yanxiao called out to the second bedroom with a helpless expression, “Linlin, what are you doing again? We have a guest. Don’t make a fuss.”

Actually, Young Master Mu’s hidden meaning was for Lin You the parrot to hurry over as soon as he heard his voice. What was so fun about a computer? Could it possibly be more fun than him? Ahem, but in front of an outsider, he couldn’t exactly show how much he needed a parrot.

Inside the room, Lin You’s anger immediately shifted targets when he heard Mu Yanxiao’s shout. He was making a fuss? What the hell was he making a fuss about?! It was clearly the website and computer that were acting up! Having a website undergo maintenance was simply unacceptable! The Netherworld Network wasn’t an ordinary website. It was practically connected to the entire “Cultivation Realm,” okay? Since most spirits, demons, ghosts, monsters, Buddhists, Daoists, and mystics could be considered shut-ins, some clever sects had imitated ordinary people’s internet, using special high-grade spiritual artifacts to create a server and establish the Netherworld Network for everyone with spiritual power to use.

Ahem. Although Young Master Lin You considered himself opposed to all non-scientific existences and firmly stood on the side of science, given how difficult it was to find a job related to his field after graduation, Young Master Lin You had decided that while his heart was scientific, for the sake of survival, he could combine science and the unscientific.

Hmm, that could also be considered a contribution to harmonious development, couldn’t it? Thus, after being forced to learn through constant exposure and discovering that he was rather talented at it, Lin You had relied on the knowledge passed down through his family, along with his background in biological sciences… to open a pharmacy on the Netherworld Network.

Of course, this pharmacy was definitely not like the Chinese and Western medicine pharmacy on the fourth floor of the International Mall. Although Lin You did sell those things, ordinary medicines without spiritual energy or demonic energy were generally beneath the notice of the Cultivation Realm’s shut-ins. Only occasionally would some eccentric demonic or ghost cultivator with unusual tastes make regular purchases.

Lin You still remembered the feeling he had when he accidentally discovered that the demonic cultivator who bought a bottle of highly toxic strychnine and methanol every month was using them to have a little drink. At the time, he had firmly concluded once again that science was the best, and all those unscientific things could just go die.

Although he did have customers who made regular purchases, demonic and ghost cultivators had terrible reputations and loved to nitpick, so the profits from those products were only enough to cover Lin You’s monthly mortgage. His main source of income was the semi-spiritual medicines he made himself, which combined scientific and unscientific methods.

Perhaps Lin You’s being born into a non-scientific family while stubbornly believing in science could itself be considered an eccentricity. The Lin Family’s strange tradition dictated that anyone eccentric enough to be called a weirdo usually possessed extraordinary talent and ability. Therefore, Lin You’s semi-spiritual medicines became extremely popular as soon as they were released. After a particularly troublesome young Daoist used a semi-spiritual medicine from Lin You’s shop to poison his sect’s eldest senior brother, almost the entire Cultivation Realm learned of it.

“Damn, the Lin Family has another weirdo! How come the Lin Family produces weirdos generation after generation?!”

Later, several youths from families with similar backgrounds to Lin You saw how successful his shop was and, out of envy, decided to start down the road of piracy and imitation. The result was either that they couldn’t combine ordinary medicines with spiritual medicines at all, or that the spiritual medicines they produced only possessed the properties of spiritual medicine and failed to retain the effects of ordinary medicine. After buyers were repeatedly deceived, Young Master Lin You’s business became even more prosperous.

Those young imitators were extremely confused. Normally, ordinary people’s medicines had no effect on cultivators, whether they were poisons or medicines. So why was that Lin Family weirdo able to turn ordinary medicines into something effective against cultivators?! They tried all sorts of methods, but none of them could uncover Young Master Lin’s exclusive secret formula.

Regardless, after Young Master Lin opened a shop called “Scientific Pharmacy,” his semi-spiritual medicines became essential items for many cultivators to carry for robbery and self-defense. Just think about it! You might already be about to finish off your opponent through cultivation and spells, only for them to suddenly throw out a bottle of poison. Not only would it contain a famous poison from the Cultivation Realm, but after you hurriedly detoxified yourself, you’d discover that you’d also been anesthetized and were completely unable to move. How could anyone allow such a painful and agonizing situation to happen, right?

Thus, “Scientific Pharmacy” became very famous on the Netherworld Network.

So, before Lin You went online, he had already mentally prepared himself to be bombarded with messages.

But!

But!!!

What the hell was this network maintenance?! The Netherworld Network was the network connecting the entire Cultivation Realm, okay? How could it possibly go down for maintenance? Most importantly, Lin You seemed to remember hearing that the Netherworld Network had already become a universally recognized harmonious place for spirits, demons, ghosts, Buddhists, Daoists, and mystics. It was practically protected by the entire Cultivation Realm. And now it was actually undergoing maintenance?!

“Hmm… I really have a bad feeling about this. Could it be that the gates of the Netherworld have actually been breached?” Young Master Lin You flapped his wings. If that were the case, it might lead to a world war, and then things would really become disastrous. Although he was a perfectly ordinary human and had absolutely nothing to do with any of this. (The entire Lin Family: Hehe.)

“Linlin? What are you doing? Stop playing around and come out. The guest wants to meet you.”

Mu Yanxiao’s voice came from the living room again. This time, it was a proper summons, although he was using the guest as an excuse.

Lin You irritably flapped his wings. Damn it, Young Master was already annoyed because he couldn’t get in touch with his eccentric Little Uncle. Look at him, look at him, look at your ass! Just wait. This lord would definitely mock him a few times later!! Thus, Lin You the parrot charged out indignantly, looking every bit like a valiant little warrior.

At this moment, Lu Yuan, who was sitting on the living room sofa, was sitting rigidly with his back straight, his eyes fixed on the direction of the sound. He intended to get a good look at the enemy who could act so freely and recklessly in Mu Yanxiao’s house.

A parrot flew out with a whoosh and landed on Mu Yanxiao’s shoulder. Lu Yuan glanced at the seemingly ordinary parrot, then turned his gaze back toward the same direction. He thought to himself, That person and Mu Yanxiao’s parrot actually get along so well? Sure enough, he’s a formidable opponent.

Mu Yanxiao naturally couldn’t see this scene, but Lin You and Mu One saw it all clearly. Mu One rolled his eyes very quickly while standing there, then returned to his usual expressionless state. He had thought the Lu Family’s Second Young Master would be much smarter and more threatening. Seeing this, well, he could finally relax a little.

However, Young Master Lin You definitely did not share Mu One’s philosophy of silence being golden. Seeing Lu Yuan staring at the door of his second bedroom, his face looking normal but the dark aura around him practically overflowing, Lin You’s already terrible mood became even worse. He immediately unleashed a barrage of mockery.

“Master, Master~ Squawk, squawk~ There’s a thief! He’s staring at our pure-gold door handle!! Quick, catch him! Catch him!!”

Lu Yuan, who was instantly thrown into chaos, “…?!”

The slightly embarrassed Mu Yanxiao, “Ahem, Lu Yuan, this is Linlin.”

It was easy for Mu Yanxiao to figure out why Lu Yuan was staring in the direction of the guestroom. Even though he knew that his parrot was a parrot spirit, there were still times when he marveled at his intelligence and extensive vocabulary. To people who only regarded Linlin as an ordinary parrot, the things Linlin said could truly startle them into jumping. So, as his owner, all Mu Yanxiao could do was help smooth things over.

“Linlin is rather lively. Grandpa specifically found him for me because he is an intelligent parrot, so he’s very smart. He can remind me about certain things.”

It took Lu Yuan a long time to recover. He stared at the parrot opposite him, his little head held high and his small black-bean eyes looking particularly arrogant, and was completely speechless. For a moment, the corners of his eyes, mouth, and brows twitched uncontrollably. He had never imagined that the “love rival” he had mentally poisoned to death hundreds of times was actually a parrot! And not just any parrot, but one that looked like he deserved a beating no matter how he looked at him!!

“…You’re in such a good mood because of him?” Lu Yuan’s voice made it clear that he absolutely couldn’t believe it. No matter how intelligent and lively a parrot was, he couldn’t possibly dispel the fear and anger of someone who had only recently lost his sight.

However, Mu Yanxiao didn’t hide anything and simply nodded. “Linlin is very cute. He always does funny things.”

Lin You rolled his eyes. He was already displeased by the suspicious look Lu Yuan was giving him. He cleared his throat and suddenly howled, “What are you looking at?! Keep staring at this lord and I’ll chop you up and feed you to the dooog!!”

Mu Yanxiao immediately coughed, taking a long while to swallow the muffled laughter in his throat. Lu Yuan’s face had already turned green, and his handsome, slightly effeminate face was practically beyond recognition.

“Don’t mind him. He always likes watching strange television shows.” Mu Yanxiao offered absolutely no consolation. “He even sang Waiting for a Thousand Years before.”

Lu Yuan took three deep breaths before finally restraining himself from pulling out a pistol or some poison and killing the parrot on the spot. Seeing the parrot’s arrogant little face, Lu Yuan quickly calmed down. He sneered inwardly. If I can’t even deal with a feathery beast like you, how am I supposed to deal with Mu Yanxiao, this boss?

Thus, Lu Yuan put on a gentle smile, and his voice became much more amiable. “I understand. Many parrots like to imitate lines from television dramas. Your Linlin really is very cute and smart.”

Mu Yanxiao nodded in satisfaction, while Lin You looked at him suspiciously. When someone offers kindness for no reason, there must be either treachery or theft! Sure enough, the next moment, Lin You heard the malice hidden in Lu Yuan’s words.

“But since you just got him, have you taken him to get vaccinated? Although he seems very intelligent, parrots are still birds, so it’s better to take the necessary precautions.”

Lin You’s entire body immediately stiffened. If his little black-bean eyes could kill, he would have already killed the bastard in front of him with a glare! Damn it, once my shop’s network is back up, just wait. This lord will find some poison and cripple you with it!! However, Lu Yuan had already gotten one step ahead of Lin You and was planning to use medicine to cripple him.

“I happen to know a very good veterinary hospital. They’ve introduced some new vaccines and equipment. If you trust me, I can take him there for a checkup. How does that sound?”

Once this parrot falls into my hands, he can rest in peace.

Unfortunately, Lu Yuan had underestimated both Young Master Lin You’s linguistic ability and Mu Yanxiao’s tendency to protect his own. The moment he finished speaking, Lin You and Mu Yanxiao spoke almost simultaneously.

“Evil intentions! Big villain!! You’re definitely planning to kidnap this lord and sell me off!!”

“No need. I’ll take him myself tomorrow.”

Lu Yuan, “…” Do you two have to be this united against a common enemy?!

Mu Yanxiao coughed. “As you can see, Linlin is, um… very wary.”

Lu Yuan nodded. “It’s fine. I was being presumptuous. Of course, it would be better for you to take him yourself. I can give you the doctor’s name and contact information.”

Mu Yanxiao nodded.

But just as he did, Lin You angrily roared again, using a notorious internet euphemism for “fuck your mother”: “This lord bought a watch last year~ You’re the one with bird flu! Your whole family has bird flu!!”

Mu Yanxiao fell silent. He no longer knew how to explain away his foul-mouthed parrot. Lu Yuan fell silent as well. He really, really wanted to poison this parrot to death right now.

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