Chapter 5: Incomparably Sharp

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Chapter 5: Incomparably Sharp

Parrot Lin You really did not want to agree to Mu Yanxiao’s bullshit proposal of having him serve as his personal parrot caretaker. However, the problem was that Lin You was no longer the one calling the shots. The one in charge now was Mu Yanxiao, who controlled everything from his food and clothing to his very life and death. So, faced with Mu Yanxiao’s glare, which was blind but somehow didn’t look blind at all, Lin You finally resigned himself to nodding his parrot head.

Isn’t it just guiding a blind person? Even a dog can do it. How could this lord possibly fail?

Unfortunately, Mu Yanxiao couldn’t see Lin You nodding, so Young Master Mu proceeded to swing the parrot cage up, down, left, and right, making Lin You dizzy and seeing stars. Then, to make matters worse, he added, “What do you think? You should at least chirp right?”

As such, Lin You said, “…Chirp.”

Mu Yanxiao fell silent for a moment. Then he actually fumbled around and opened the little door of the parrot cage, reached inside, and rubbed Lin You from head to toe as the parrot tried to dodge him.

The feathers beneath his fingers were smooth and delicate, carrying the faint warmth of a small animal. Somehow, that warmth made his heart feel a little softer.

“Very good. As long as you do your job properly, I’ll let you eat until you’re stuffed every day.”

Lin You the parrot rolled his eyes and silently laughed twice. Damn it, only a lunatic like this guy would make such a serious promise to a parrot after going blind. Besides, this lord wasn’t actually a parrot. How could he possibly eat until he was stuffed to death?! Furthermore!

“Squawk—squawk—indecent assault! Indecent assault—!”

The fingers rubbing Lin You’s head suddenly stopped. Mu Yanxiao’s expression, which had been quite pleasant just moments ago, immediately twisted.

This parrot’s intelligence was a little too high. He even knew what “indecent assault” meant?!

Mu Two, who had been listening to the commotion from outside, felt as though a kitten were scratching at his heart. When he heard the hoarse cries of “indecent assault,” he finally couldn’t help asking again, “Boss?”

Mu Yanxiao pressed a hand to his forehead and turned back toward the bed. “Nothing. The parrot is just making random noises.”

Mu Two, “…” Would an ordinary parrot randomly scream “indecent assault”?! As expected of his boss. Even the parrot he raised was different from ordinary parrots!

Regardless of how much Mu Two’s admiration for his boss had risen, Young Master Mu was now carrying the parrot cage with a cold smile.

“Do you know what ‘indecent assault’ means? Who taught you to shout that?”

Mu Yanxiao didn’t wait for Lin You to answer before continuing, “What’s wrong with me touching you? Even if I cook you into soup, you’d only be an ingredient.”

Lin You was utterly shocked by Mu Yanxiao’s arrogant riche style, then felt ten thousand fuck-your-mom’s run through his heart. Since this Yanxiao was so strange and already believed that he could communicate with the parrot, why should this lord keep hiding it? He was blind anyway. What could he possibly do?

“…You can’t even see this lord, so how could you make soup.” Lin You lazily launched a fatal counterattack, striking right at the heart of the matter.

Mu Yanxiao was left speechless. His face became darker than black sesame seeds before he finally gave a cold, elegant, sinister laugh. “I can have my subordinates do it.”

Lin You lay in the birdcage and covered his bird eyes with one wing again. Why did this lord have to keep stabbing at people’s sore spots?!

Mu Yanxiao heard a strange, hoarse cry of anguish. It took him a moment to realize that it had come from the parrot he was carrying. Young Master Mu was instantly a little stunned. Almost on impulse, he reached out and jabbed the parrot he could not see. “Are you really not a parrot spirit? Even a trained parrot shouldn’t be this strange.”

Lin You flapped his wings furiously. He even used his powerful beak to peck Mu Yanxiao’s finger. When the man hissed in pain, he shouted at him, “You’re the strango! Your whole family are strangos!”

…Excuse the bird’s tongue for not being flexible. When they are too emotional, they cannot speak human language properly.

Mu Yanxiao was stunned by this outburst. But after the shock passed, he unexpectedly smiled. While Lin You was still puffed up and on guard, Mu Yanxiao suddenly shook the birdcage hard again, sending Lin You tumbling around until he was dizzy enough to foam at the beak.

“Please-please stop the roller coaster…” Damn you, can you not be so deranged?

Mu Yanxiao finally couldn’t hold back and laughed at that weak little voice. This was the first time he had truly laughed since the accident.

“You even know what a roller coaster is. You must really be a parrot spirit. You were so agitated just now. Guilty conscience?”

It wasn’t a question. It was a statement.

Lin You rolled his eyes inside the cage.

Forget it. It was better to let this blind, ruthless lunatic think he was a parrot spirit than have him think he was some kind of spirit. At least then he wouldn’t need to find a Daoist or Celestial Master to exorcise him.

“Back in those days when I was still a chick in the mountains… you saved me from some hunters! Oh~ my benefactor! I came to pay back my debt—”

Young Master Mu, who had never gone to the mountains, “…”

“…You like watching The Legend of the White Snake? You can watch it, but don’t turn into a snake-spirit idiot afterward.”

Lin You, who had been called a snake-spirit idiot, “…” You’re the snake-spirit idiot! Your whole family are snake-spirit idiots! You find a parrot to act as your guide dog and then call him a parrot spirit. If you’re not the snake-spirit idiot, then who is?!

However, this time, parrot spirit Lin You did not curse him out loud. He was afraid Mu Yanxiao would shake his cage again. Just thinking about it made him want to cry tears of blood.

Mu Yanxiao was satisfied when he heard no retort. The corners of his lips lifted slightly as he called toward the door, “Mu Two.”

“Yes, Boss!”

Mu Two flashed into the room within a second, his face wearing the expression of a complete lackey, as if saying, “Whatever Boss wants, I’ll immediately go do it.”

Naturally, Mu Yanxiao couldn’t see that expression, but Lin You could, and he was utterly speechless.

“What time is it?”

“Young Master, it’s eleven thirty. Would you like to eat?”

Mu Yanxiao nodded, then paused before asking, “What does a parrot eat?”

“…Uh, I’ll ask an expert and bring his food over?”

Mu Yanxiao nodded in satisfaction, “From now on, he will stay with me. Go home and make the necessary arrangements. As for his treatment… for now, make it the same as Mu Five’s.”

Mu Two almost knelt before his boss. Having a parrot stay by his side wasn’t strange. After all, he had been personally sent over by Second Young Master, so naturally he should be treated well. But giving him the same treatment as Mu Five? Boss, are you really okay? Isn’t giving a bird a five hundred thousand yuan monthly allowance and bank deposit… a bit too much?

Furthermore, Mu Five could borrow up to ten million yuan from the Mu Family’s businesses for emergencies and had access to all third-level confidential areas. Giving a parrot the same treatment was practically the beginning of a world ruled by parrots!

“Uh, what about his gold savings card? Do we just give it to him?” Although Mu Two was internally a mess of complaints and confusion, outwardly he remained the all-capable super-manager when it came to handling everyday matters. “And what about the five hundred thousand yuan in monthly discretionary spending? How do we arrange the card for that?”

Mu Yanxiao also became somewhat troubled. In a moment of insanity, he had decided to give this parrot spirit the same treatment as Mu Five. The original plan was to win over the parrot’s heart, but only now did he think about it. He didn’t know whether this bird understood what money was. And even if he did, how could he use it?

But the current Lin You had none of Master Mu and Mu Two’s worries. His whole bird was stuffed with the knowledge of a monthly allowance of five hundred thousand and five hundred thousand in bank deposits! OMG! You know what they say, you have to be friends with a richie! You have to tightly hug onto a golden thigh!! Anyhow, even a parrot had this much money! Oooohhhh, when he was human, his allowance itself was only five hundred a month. This disparity… Young Master Lin You salivated and laughed foolishly a few times. He felt like becoming a richie’s pet was not unacceptable.

“Richie—! Let’s be friends! Richie! I’m your bird while I’m alive, and I’ll be your bird specimen when I die!”

Mu Yanxiao was shocked by the high-pitched voice. After he understood his words, his mouth twitched. Sure enough, he was a parrot spirit. He even knew what a richie was.

Mu Two, meanwhile, was completely stunned by the parrot’s reaction. This-this bird could actually talk like this? So impressive!

And what’s more impressive was yet to come.

After that bold declaration, Lin You the parrot stood inside the cage, flapped his wings, and coughed twice. “Give me a little cloth pouch. Put the card inside and hang it around my neck!”

Mu Yanxiao, “…” Sure enough, he had become a spirit.

Mu Two, “…” Too, too impressive.

Both men blanked for a while. Of course, Mu Yanxiao was still the first to snap out of it at the end, “Just do it like this.”

Mu Two nodded stiffly and prepared to turn around and get to work. Besides the card, lunch still hadn’t been arranged.

“Squawk! Don’t forget the password! Three sixes and three eights!”

Hearing this, the normally steady and incomparably reliable Mu Two staggered and nearly fell. Then, when he saw Mu Five’s puzzled expression outside the door, he gave him a look filled with sympathy.

What kind of sorrow was it to be a man who wasn’t as good as a parrot? But were all parrots really this clever and intelligent? Should he raise one too? He could have it carry a USB drive containing the Mu Family’s most confidential financial reports and other information. Surely those hostile forces would never find it even if they searched until they died.

After Mu Two left the ward, Mu Yanxiao followed Lin You’s voice and turned toward the cage beside him.

“What do you need so much money for?”

Although he had already decided in his heart that this was a parrot spirit, or at least a parrot that was about to become a spirit, he still couldn’t understand why this bird liked money so much.

Lin You rolled his eyes when he heard what was said, “Without money, nothing can be done!”

Mu Yanxiao, who had money but couldn’t do everything with it, “…”

Mu Two’s work efficiency was quite high. After fifteen minutes, he and Mu Five entered, pushing in a dining cart and a card.

“Young Master, the card has been prepared, and this month’s money has already been deposited. I also had someone make a small rabbit-fur pouch. The chain is made of stainless steel and decorated with a few small diamonds.”

Mu Yanxiao thought it sounded fine. He nodded and reached out his hand. Mu Two placed the little pouch containing the card into his boss’s hand. He watched in surprise as Mu Yanxiao fumbled around before placing the pouch on the parrot, who had taken the initiative to jump from the cage onto his hand.

No wonder the Young Master treated him so well. Just this level of intelligence alone was absolutely one of a kind. Lin You and Mu Yanxiao were both very satisfied.

The former because he thought he had become a nouveau riche, and the latter because he was satisfied with Lin You’s cooperation. After rubbing Lin You’s wings, Mu Yanxiao turned around. “Alright. Put the lunch here and leave. Unless I call for you, none of you are allowed to come in.”

Mu Two and Mu Five immediately nodded. Before leaving, Mu Two said, “Young Master, I asked a parrot expert. Congo Grey Parrots mainly eat fruits, seeds, nuts, and similar foods. A small amount of meat protein is also fine. His food is on the second level of the dining cart. You can feed him.”

Mu Yanxiao nodded, “You can leave.”

Once the room contained only Mu Yanxiao and Lin You again, Young Master Mu took a deep breath and reached out to rub Lin You’s head.

“It’s time for lunch.”

Lin You blinked… So ?

“The time to test you has come. Come help me eat.”

Lin You rolled his eyes and couldn’t help but start cackling in his mind. Aha, he was finally going to see this crazy, domineering guy make a fool of himself! Just thinking about it made him happy.

“Why don’t we negotiate something first before we eat?” Mu Yanxiao suddenly coughed. “What name do you want? How about Big King Kong?”

Lin You, “…” Hehe!

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