Chapter 52: None of This Is Scientific

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Chapter 52: None of This Is Scientific

Setting aside what kind of expression Mu Yanxiao might wear, or whether he would actually give Lin You a “like” upon learning that his younger brother was about to be thoroughly disciplined, Mu Ten, a member of the Mu Family’s “Number Corps,” felt a strong urge to give that lynx a hundred “likes” right then and there.

Mu Ten thought that, even if the lynx were to place a delivery order, any courier service, even a local one, would require at least half a day for dispatch and delivery after the call was made. If the item was hard to source, it could take a full day just to arrive within the same city. Yet, to his utter astonishment, within just half an hour of the lynx making that call, a sudden violent gust of wind swept across the sky… and then? Well, after that, he knew nothing more.

Mu Ten had no idea he had missed out on something truly extraordinary, an event so miraculous it rivaled the stuff of myths and fairy tales. A massive gale had suddenly swept across the sky, thrashing the vegetation surrounding the Mu Family’s villa in City B. Meanwhile, any human within a 500-meter radius who might have witnessed the scene instantly lost consciousness and collapsed to the ground. Though they merely fainted, no serious physical harm was inflicted.

Lin You stared, somewhat speechless, at the Golden-Winged Peng descending from the sky, a creature whose actual size was roughly equivalent to ten football fields. He couldn’t help but think that the bird must have been self-conscious about having a tiny “member” when he was in human form, given how he always waited until the very last moment before landing to shrink his body down.

“Hey, hey! If you don’t shrink down now, do you want to get slapped with a fine from the Kunlun Peacekeeping Division? Even in a villa district, there are plenty of bored busybodies with nothing better to do.”

The voice of Lin You, the little lynx, was barely audible amidst the howling gale. Indeed, compared to the colossal peng bearing down upon him, his entire body seemed smaller than even a single one of the giant bird’s feathers. Anyone witnessing the scene would surely have assumed the little cat was about to be crushed to death by the massive creature.

Yet strangely enough, the moment Lin You finished speaking with a roll of his eyes, the gigantic Golden-Winged Peng instantly shrank down to the size of an ordinary eagle. His gleaming golden talons, catching the sunlight, appeared exceptionally sharp and menacing.

This was a divine bird that seemed to embody the very essence of heaven and earth’s craftsmanship. Apart from his tail, which oddly resembled that of a fish, he was flawless in every respect. Even that peculiar fish-like tail was breathtakingly beautiful when viewed in isolation, with his golden scales shimmering amidst a faint, misty aura. However, that entire illusion of ethereal beauty shattered the instant the giant peng spoke.

“Holy crap! Oh man, I’m dying of laughter here! Hahahaha! Weirdo Lin, you actually turned into a cat?! And such a dopey, cute, puny little cat at that? Aren’t you embarrassed? Now I finally get why you’ve been missing all this time! Tell me, should I snap a picture of you looking like that? I bet spirits, demons, ghosts, monsters, Buddhists, Daoists, and mystics alike would all have a good laugh seeing you in this state! And all those guys you used to mess with? They’d be absolutely thrilled to carry a photo of you around and spread the word!”

Upon hearing this, Lin You couldn’t help but furiously claw at the ground. For some reason, the sight of that gleaming golden bird across from him made him want to pounce and tear him apart. And that is exactly what he did.

Although his opponent was a Golden-Winged Peng, the creature had only truly assumed that form a mere six months ago. Consequently, his instincts regarding emergency reactions left a great deal to be desired.

By the time he realized what was happening, he had already been pinned to the ground by the domineering Lin You, who had also left a bloody bite mark right on his neck.

“Why all the chatter? Hand it over, or I’ll tear you apart with my teeth!”

The Golden-Winged Peng flicked his fish-tail, and with a thump, transformed into a handsome man clad in a gold-threaded robe trimmed with gold.

The man, looking rather exasperated, propped up his upper body with his left hand. With his other hand, he first scratched his naturally wavy black hair, then hoisted up the small lynx that had been sprawled across his chest. He laughed heartily and said, “You’ve still got quite the temper after all these months! Alright, alright. Seeing the sorry state you’re in, I won’t tease you anymore. Everything is right here. You haven’t forgotten how to open it, have you? I’ve got other things to attend to, so I’ll be off now!”

Lin You nodded in satisfaction as he gazed at the small box crafted from golden fish scales. He waved a paw, dismissively urging the bird-man to hurry along. Yet, upon seeing the gesture, the fellow instead walked back over and chuckled.

“Hey Weirdo Lin, are you truly trapped here, or do you simply not want to leave? Given the power you and the Lin Family wield, even if some tribulations are unavoidable, there’s no need to keep hanging around a mere mortal, is there? What? Could it be that you’ve fallen for that mortal? Tsk, tsk. You’d better think this through. Even though you don’t know any mystic arts, you possess innate spiritual power. If you were to cultivate diligently, you might not surpass your Little Uncle’s level, but you could certainly rival the inner-circle disciples of Kunlun. In comparison, that mortal has absolutely nothing going for him other than wealth and influence in the human world. Are you sure about this? Aren’t you worried that those guys who hang around your shop all day will get jealous or heartbroken?”

Upon hearing this, Young Master Lin You didn’t even blink. Casually scraping at fish scales with his feline paw, he remarked with indifference, “How do you know he has no other merits besides wealth and power? And how do you know he’s just an ordinary mortal incapable of anything? Little Goldfish, how long have you been in the world of cultivation? Less than half a year, right? Just a few months ago, you couldn’t even maintain your true form and needed my medicine to keep from going mad. Given that, you really shouldn’t be so quick to pass judgment on others.”

“They say the Great Dao is devoid of sentiment. To me, the very act of cultivating the Dao is an act of defying the heavens. No matter how one might dress it up in flowery language, defying the heavens remains exactly that, which is precisely why it is so difficult for cultivators to ascend and become immortals. In this present age, where spiritual energy is both turbid and scarce, even fewer manage to ascend. Yet, even with a lifespan spanning millions of years, does the ultimate end not remain the same as that of a mortal, returning to the embrace of heaven and earth? Thus, there is no need to force matters unduly. Simply follow your heart, free from complaint, resentment, or sorrow, and find someone to walk through life with. That alone is enough for a lifetime.”

Upon hearing this, the Golden-Winged Bird-Man arched his handsome brows. “The question is, can he spend a lifetime with you? By the looks of it, you’re going to live for a very long time, aren’t you?”

Lin You blinked his cat eyes and bared a few sharp fangs. “How do you know he can’t?”

The Golden-Winged Bird-Man fell silent. It was best not to say too much to a mad scientist obsessed with drugs and medicine. The mere memory of how he had once been tormented to the brink of death by the man’s concoctions made him want to flap his wings and fly away immediately.

Doing what you want is a fine thing. Hence, a sudden gust of wind swept through the garden once more as the Golden-Winged Peng which had just vanished reappeared, flapping his wings and speeding away. Hmm, considering the nature of that Weirdo Lin, one really had to wonder about the true attributes of the person he’d taken a fancy to. After all, given the precedent of how he himself had gone from an ordinary person to what he was now, he wouldn’t be surprised by whatever that other person might turn into down the line!

Hehe, to think he could end up paired with that Weirdo Lin. Does that guy actually have a trait in his bloodline that counters weirdos? Hmm, which lineage possesses something like that? The Buddhists? The Daoists? The Spirits? Heh, sounds like things are getting interesting.

The moment the Golden-Winged Peng flapped his wings and departed, the people nearby who had collapsed to the ground quickly regained consciousness. Mu Ten sprang to his feet in a single fluid motion. He scanned his surroundings warily, and only after finding nothing amiss did he let out a breath of relief. Given his usual vigilance, the fact that he had blacked out completely without even realizing it was alarming. Had an opponent chosen that moment to harm the people he was sworn to protect, the consequences would have been unthinkable. Reflecting on this, he found it easy to accept his ranking of tenth. After all, if it had been Big Brother, there was no way he would have been so pathetic as to simply pass out like that.

Fortunately, nothing irreversible had occurred at the scene, except, of course, for the appearance of a massive package right next to that eerie, oversized cat. Meanwhile, on a patch of lawn four hundred meters away from the Mu Family villa, Mu One stood frozen in shock, his mind involuntarily replaying the scene he had just witnessed.

A colossal golden bird descended from the sky. By his estimation, the creature was unimaginably vast. Yet, the most extraordinary thing was not his size, but the fact that he went completely unnoticed by anyone. Or rather, anyone who looked up promptly lost consciousness, while his own mind had been plunged into a state of utter confusion. Mu One was certain that had he succumbed and passed out, every memory of that giant bird would have been wiped clean from his mind.

After standing rooted to the spot for a good five minutes, Mu One punched himself hard. He couldn’t let his mind dwell on it any longer, or else his entire worldview might just be turned upside down. Besides, he had already accepted the fact that his boss kept a “parrot spirit” by his side, one that could simply switch bodies and continue acting cute and tsundere even after dying. So what was there to object to regarding a giant golden bird? Anyway, none of this was scientific.

Right, the priority now is to hurry over to the villa and take a look. It seemed the spot where that giant golden bird had just landed was the Mu Family’s villa. Mu One couldn’t help but let his imagination run wild, wondering if there was some inevitable connection between that bird and the parrot spirit. After all, they were both birds, weren’t they?

Besides, before leaving, the Boss had specifically instructed him to make sure Linlin didn’t rough up the Second Young Master too badly. At the time, he had thought that even though Linlin was a clever and incredibly haughty parrot spirit, his size and stature meant he shouldn’t really be able to give the Second Young Master much trouble.

Looking at it now, he had likely miscalculated. If he didn’t rush to the villa immediately, there was a real chance the Second Young Master would be tormented to death by Linlin…

It must be said that Mu One, leader of the “Number Corps,” possessed a beast-like intuition that was remarkably accurate. By the time he finally arrived at the villa, a net of misery, akin to a living nightmare, had already been cast wide, and the Second Young Master was ensnared.

“Ah! Ahhh!! Oh my god!! What am I seeing?! Mu Nine, Mu Ten!! Come here, quick!! There’s a spirit ahhh!!”

Hearing the Second Young Master’s wail, the sheer terror of which was palpable even from a great distance, Mu One couldn’t help but twitch the corner of his mouth violently. Such a blood-curdling scream… Hmm, he suddenly found himself wanting to know exactly what method had been used to scare him like that. It would surely be incredibly effective for interrogations and extracting confessions.

———

Extra:

Golden-Winged Peng: Even though I’m twenty-six years old this year, by the standards of ancient divine beasts, I’m still just a super young child, so I absolutely have to be included in Children’s Day!

A Zombie from the Deep Mountains: In the hierarchy of zombies, basically, anyone who hasn’t yet evolved into a Flying Zombie is considered a mere kid… Well, I’m not a kid anymore. Even though I’m only twenty-four.

Lin You: …What are you staring at?! I am absolutely not celebrating Children’s Day!! Don’t look at me like that just because I’m currently a kitten!! My real age is twenty-five! Twenty-five!!

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